#{ this is the life that almost killed me }♕➥{ main verse }

[rcjoice]

@soulmissed liked for a starter

"you wanna stop getting in grown up business and mind your own?" it's mean, more tense than he usually is with auggie. "it's not your fucking business what i do."

[rcjoice]

@sorrowsick liked this for a starter!

"look, if you're gonna keep not smokin' these, or half smokin' them, I'm gonna stop giving them." he says it as he hands over the cigarette. "these aren't cheap, ya know."

[rcjoice]

@ripgray liked for a starter from selene wilson !!

she walks up to him, unable to stop herself. "do i know you?" she leans in, squinting at his face and humming. "you look real familiar. you ever been in my emergency room?" that's how she recognizes most people.

[rcjoice]

@poisonedfire liked for a starter

"you know, if you move a toothbrush in, i'll have to start charging you rent." it's said with a soft smile, one that shows he's teasing, that he means no harm by it, really. for all he cared, peyton could have moved in every single thing they owned. "ass, cash, or grass." he rolls over to lay on his back as they lay in his bed. "for payment that is."

[rcjoice]

@soulmissed liked this for a starter

"pizza or chinese? we've gotta walk to get either, i definitely don't have delivery money." he shrugs a little bit. "but it means we'll burn off calories preemptively before we feast."

[rcjoice]

[ intent ] sender leans their forehead against receiver's ( from skunk <3 )

comfortable intimacy

it feels good to laugh with him. it feels better to lay here with him, hands intertwined and bodies pressed side to side together. this softness between us. it feels nice. something i haven't felt in a while. something i've wanted for years. there was no drama, there was no fighting, there was no real worry. i could just exist around him and it doesn't feel like i'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. i roll over onto my side, and he follows suit, just looking at each other now. he shifts closer, resting his forehead against mine. his eyes are really pretty. my hand comes up to cup his cheek. he's warm and soft. "you know, you're definitely the coolest guy i've ever hung out with." it's soft when i say it, i'm scared to break this moment. it feels fragile. it feels like if i breathe too hard, we'll be taken out of this little romcom-ish bubble. should i kiss him now? it feels like i should kiss him. but this moment is so nice. so warm. i don't want to change a thing about it.

@f4mily

[rcjoice]

please explain the alice and adam situation. what is that

send curious anons!!

"we're just having fun." is that what they were having? he doesn't even really know how it started, just remembers it being a thing one day. "i like her, she likes me. both of us like him, he likes both of us." he shrugs. "it's not super hard, are you fuckin' dense or something? polyamory, look it up." did he just google that word when selene asked when he knew he was polyamorous after he told her everything? maybe.

[rcjoice]

ashton feels tension in the air, one he doesn't know to remedy. he'd never been the most comfortable with other people's feelings, especially not ones so angsty. he internalized them, made them his own. it usually just ends up with him feeling sick to his stomach. "i've got both, lucky you," he says as he looks around his cabinets.

ashton leans against the counter, reaching out to take auggie's shoulder in his hand. "uh, hey. you know you can talk to me if you need to, right?" he gives him a small smile, one he hopes shows comfort. "or, uh, ask me if you like, need something. i wanna help you out."

august stops fiddling with the mugs, tugs hands into pockets. “ yeah, whipped cream is good. ” it was an appetizing cocoa topping but: “ it’s fine if you don’t have it. cocoa with just marshmallows is good, too. ”

the boy pads to the fridge, getting a can of whipped cream. he places it on the counter. his pain wouldn’t go away. (the compassion of others. these easy moments. none of it could erase his internal scars.) but he is grateful for when his pain lightens.

[rcjoice]

do you wish you saw your kids more?

send curious anons!!

"i see them like, once a week usually. which isn't too bad, especially considering i don't pay child support." he was more than lucky that selene didn't push for that, that she knew what position he was in. "it's not the same as living with them, but i get to see them as much as i want, really. if they wanna see me, too, and their mom is cool with it."

[rcjoice]

[pray] for your muse to pray with my muse.

folk horror||accepting

"loving father, touch me now with your healing hands," ashton starts, head bowed as he keeps his tone soft, as he clasps desperate hands together. "for I believe that your will is for me to be well in mind, body, soul and spirit." he and auggie both had had a day full of heartache, a day full of hurt. he remembers being a child and his mother sitting beside him and whispering this prayer to him as she recovered from his father's wrath, as he recovered from all encompassing fear. it's the last comfort of his childhood he holds onto. he glances over at auggie kneeling next to him at the foot of the bed. he prayers silently this is helping. "over me with the most precious blood of your son, our lord, jesus christ from the top of my head to the soles of my feet." his fingers worry the rosary he clutches in his hands. he fingers shake as his voice does. "cast out anything that should not be in me."

[rcjoice]

"you have to trust me, i promise that it is easier." i wave the lighter and the small bottle of lighter fluid in front of the other. "shaving is inefficient, a waste of time. it is much easier to just set your face on fire. less time, less mess." ( hi buddy the surprise was me invading ur inbox )

his brows furrow and he hands it right back. "man, i don't know about that." he had an inherent fear of fire, one he thought every normal human shared. but ford isn't normal, is he? ashton sighs. "i can't ruin my face, it's part of my whole charm."

@6err

[rcjoice]

@sorrowsick liked for a lyric starter!! welcome to castle irwell//crywank

there was a vulnerability to ashton that sometimes overwhelms him, that sometimes takes over his whole body. sometimes, it makes him feel like a scraped knee, accidentally torn open on concrete. "i woke up this morning, wanting to cry," he starts, unable to look at them as he stares at his clasped hands in his lap. "and when i called her, i realized why." it's the same reason as always. he misses his old life, the one that felt weightless. the life before he got sober. "don't mean to drop this on ya. just appreciate your ears to listen."

[rcjoice]

“You shouldn’t be here. You’ll get sick, too.”

hurt/comfort memes

"kiddo, you've got a serious flu." he steps into the room, handing august a bottle of water and a sleeve of saltines. "get something on your stomach." he had never been good with the kids when they got sick, but he tries his damnedest to channel his inner mom. "you want some nyquil or something? i dunno if you're a medicine kid, i'm not gonna force you to take it."

@soulmissed

[rcjoice]

[ rest ] sender unintentionally falls asleep leaning against receiver

leaning prompts

it was the third movie that night, a night where neither of them could really sleep and need some kind of distraction to keep less than palatable thoughts at bay. ashton's own eyes were starting to get heavy, but no way he falls asleep before auggie. the kid needs someone, and what kind of guy would he be to fall asleep on a needy kid? it's just about the end of the third movie when he hears the soft sound of snoring, feels the weight of august's head against his shoulder. he looks down to see the boy sleeping, his face actually relaxed and peaceful. "finally." it doesn't take long before ashton is falling asleep on the couch next to him.

@soulmissed

[rcjoice]

set the scene

001, a convenience store past midnight.// @soulmissed

this was a late night snack run of utter importance. they had been in the middle of watching all the star wars prequels, something ashton feels is necessary for every young mind, when they ran out of good munchies. and what's a movie without something to nibble on? they had walked to the gas station up the corner (ashton hates driving at night, everything looks like starbursts), ashton giving august a very serious look once they're inside. "very serious mission, buddy. you're on sweet snacks. i got salty and drinks. and nothing ranch flavored. god, it's gross. and get the big bags of chips, we've got a movie and a half left."

[rcjoice]

ashton, my dude, in your own words: why did you get divorced?

send curious anons!!

"well." brow furrows, teeth worry inside of his cheek. "she and i just.. weren't good at the whole marriage thing." weren't good at it is an understatement. they had been downright awful, more like, they had been world's biggest losers when it came to marriage. "i wasn't very good at the whole marriage thing. selene deserves more things than i can give her, and i'm glad she got out." there's always been the worry he would become his father, that the rage in his chest would burst forth in ways worse than a screaming match. "we're better friends than partners."