#{ just gonna drop this here. is it self promoing? maybe XD }

[fairfallcn]

OUT. just a lil heads up to anyone interested. if I'm not on Zack's blog, you can more than likely find me on either dcviltriggcr, rcmncnt, wesurvivcrs, or occasionally on ringburdened and magiichour. I'm a notorious blog hopper.

[desperationandgin]

Hello. I so much agree with what you’re saying. So this is what I was going to send yesterday but then I wasn't sure if that was a good idea. I hope it’s okay to send it now. I’m copy-pasting it and here it is: “Thank god, somebody said it... "At some point, Jane would have been pretty unhappy; she has no idea what her life is outside of what Kurt wants." I was looking at all those pics and promos and spoilers and I was asking myself: could Jane be happy in this, eventually? Is this who she is?

I got the rest of your message, anon, but it’s so long I'm just gonna answer you in this one XD (Also because my response is long, lol)

I think in seasons one and two, it was very easy for anyone, even Jane, to imagine the future with Kurt that we see in the first two minutes of the season 3 opener. And that's because, like Jane, we didn't know what she was about other than Kurt being the love of her life. So, what does that entail?

Before I continue, let me just say that I do think Kurt and Jane will be together and stay married. I don't believe their actual marriage can't overcome this. I also don't think anyone should stop having fun writing the fanfic of their heart's content. That's what fanfic is for.

That being said.

In just a few months, Jane and Kurt went from saving each other and the world to this whirlwind trip to Venice, a proposal, a marriage, and homeowners. They know each other the way I know someone I work with: What they like to eat for lunch, what they like to watch on tv, favorite ice cream, and then deeper things for the two of them like his family history and her shitty former life. But she doesn't know whether she wants to keep fighting forever or sit at home reading books. She doesn't know if she's content with not seeing what else is out in the world. She didn't even know what kind of life she wanted. But Kurt does. Kurt knows what kind of life he wants because it's everything he always wanted: love and a good, solid family because he never had that. Now that he has Bethany and he knows he can do this, knows he's not Bill, what he wants is to fill his life with that love he never had. It's not selfish for him to want that, it's beautiful that he does. What happens though, is that with no sense of self, Jane follows along. She loves him, more than anything, so what else is she going to do?

He asks her to move to Colorado to be closer to Bethany, and what is she going to do? Deny him his kid? Maybe she suggested Colorado, even, because it seems like the right thing to offer the man she loves. We have all done things to make the person we love happy. And talking about kids is something you really, really should do before marriage.

They spent so much time saving each other, they never talked about what they wanted together.

And yes, Kurt did drop everything, including his daughter, to go find Jane. That's a huge sacrifice. But Jane didn't ask him to do that. He knew why she left. And yet he gave up 18 months of his baby's life to run around the globe. I don't think the show will ever give us any dealing with that beyond surface level, and I know everyone thinks that's romantic af, leaving your life, running out of money to find the woman you love. But that wasn't fair to Bethany in any way. This relationship has been fast from the very beginning, and I think we're seeing now what happens when you rush and dive head first into a relationship. You can love someone with your entire being and still want something else.

If your entire existence and everything you do only revolves around one person, that's not healthy in any way. Eventually, she would have had to answer his question about whether or not she wants kids. Maybe they could have compromised and agreed to wait a few years so they can have time to just be together and breathe and see who they are as a couple - which they never did. Or maybe Kurt would realize that his real dream is just Jane, or maybe Jane would realize one day that she could never give Kurt what he wanted and they’d have to take it from there.

A lot remains to be seen after just one episode, but I think the thing that was crystal clear to me was that Jane figuring out her purpose, to help people even if it means putting her own life on the line, was very, very important. Once you know what you're about, it's not easy to box that back up again. She is a well-rounded woman who's capable of so much more than just having Kurt's babies, and that doesn't need to happen for them to have a healthy relationship. Kids are not necessary to prove how much you love someone.

I'm never not going to share my thoughts on this even if it's unpopular. We all want our ships to thrive, but I don't think Jane saying yes to babies is the only way they can get there.