#{ despite my gripes from last night about people ignoring my rules

[omniversus]

---- “ There’s an infinite number of planets out there, with an even more infinite amount of people on them, and here I am stuck working with you. ”

[atamascolily]

lily liveblogs Atlantis 1x01 - “The Earth Bull”

Okay, @noxelementalist suggested I might like the BBC’s Atlantis, so I figured I’d give it a shot. I watched the trailer for Season One, and I was in as soon as Pythagoras (yes, that one) introduced himself, but I finally got around to watching the first episode tonight.

The hardest part of portal fantasies is getting the modern main character to the new place. I like that this transition happens fast. In the modern world, Jason's talking to a dude about going in a sub to look for the wreckage of his missing father's ship and also he has a necklace macguffin and some cryptic clues about destiny. That's all we need really.

The credits are all backwards. I really hope that's not a trend.

Oh, the dad's ship is named the Oracle, because of course it is.

HOW DID HE LOSE HIS SHIRT *AND* HIS PANTS WHEN THE SUB EXPLODED BUT NOT HIS NECKLACE?

Oh, good, he finds some clothes so he looks like a local.

(Was he in the Mediterranean on our Earth when this happened? NO CLUE.)

Was this filmed in Malta? It looks like Malta.

Oh, we're definitely not in Kansas anymore - there's a two-headed dragon. WHY DID YOU THINK PETTING IT WAS A GOOD IDEA, EXACTLY??

The dragon overturns a vegetable cart, and there's a butternut squash next to a pomegranate and my botany!self calls bullshit on the squash. NORTH AMERICAN NATIVE VEGETABLES DO NOT END UP IN ANCIENT CRETE (or wherever), SORRY.

Why IS there a dragon running around anyway? Shouldn't it be, I don't know, LEASHED or something?

Of course, he's going to destroy the entire market now in the ensuring chase, I don't make the rules.

Oh, there goes a watermelon cart. These originated in West Africa, so, I don't know, like maybe kinda plausible? More so than the butternut squash, anyway.

Dragons like melons - so Jason distracts it with that, then he throws a basket over both its head and pummels it with a stick. Some guards show up, but of course, they're not sympathetic, so he has to keep running...

A guard shoots him with an arrow. OW. That hurts.

INTO THE GARBAGE CHUTE, FLYBOY! Oh, wait, he's going to land on Pythagoras... what a way to meet-cute.

Oh, wait, he falls off the edge and Pythagoras catches his hand. It's been like three seconds and I ship them already. The fact that Jason ends up falling on top of him DOES NOT HELP  with the shipping vibes, okay?

Aww, and then he starts shaking and hugging Pythagoras because he's so scared and relieved and Pythagoras is like "Do we hug? This is... fine?" confused, and I'm just grinning like an idiot because this is ambiguous platonic brotherhood/not-so-platonic OTP shipping at its finest.

Oh, it's Atlantis, that's why there's a dragon AND Pythagoras AND King Minos, I get it now.

THE LOOK ON PYTHAGORAS'S FACE WHEN JASON SAYS "YOU'RE THE TRIANGLE GUY" AHHHHHHHHHHHH *cries in sympathy for my fellow nerd*

(The other part of my brain is shouting "THAT'S EUCLID PROPOSITION 1.47, YOU ASSHOLES" but ignore it, this is really just too cute for words.)

And Hercules is his roommate...? Okay... and Pythagoras is gonna make a fat joke, not a fan. Hercules sums up my reaction: "My friend is under the false impression he's amusing."

Ah, now the necklace macguffin is coming into play. So he goes to see the Oracle about it.

Annnnndddd Hercules is already there. With some sort of bull symbol on his forehead.

Turns out the Oracle is expecting Jason because she's just that good, LOL. She has her back to him for the scene, so we can't see her face, but she's got a sweet tattoo of a stylized bull skull on her back.

They sacrifice a chicken and stare at the blood, like you do. The Oracle says there's a multiverse! Turns out Jason's father took him to our Earth when he was a baby for.. reasons. Is she his mom? Is that what this is about?

Oh, his father is either King Minos or Hercules, and my money's on the King.

Oh, wait, his father's dead. This must make Minos the Big Bad. The Oracle punts on the mom question, so that's still TBD.

I wonder... does Jason's quest involve a boat? A journey? Some ARGONAUTS, perhaps? (And maybe--just maybe--some living skeletons? Pretty please?)

Turns out the Oracle admits to her companion that she was lying! So my guesses still stand. Minos probably is the Big Bad, though, because otherwise it's Too Easy to Resolve the Plot and Daddy Issues.

Pythagoras shows up and introduces a plot point: there's a procession to the Temple of Poseidon because they're going to select tributes to offer to the Minotaur. Also: backstory.

There's a curfew, and Jason has nowhere to go, and you can just see Pythagoras gearing himself up to ask Jason to stay with HIM, and I'm just... the writers are making this really easy to ship this, aren't they?

"What about Hercules?" "Oh, he's usually so drunk when he gets back from the tavern, he won't even notice you're there." LOLOLOLOL.

Cut to Hercules, not impressed with Pythagoras's tastes in men. Despite my "only one bed" jokes to the contrary, Jason gets the couch, which is why he sees Hercules sneaking out. Of course, he wakes up Pythagoras and they chase him down, guards be damned. Hercules says the Oracle saw him in the Labyrinth, and he's trying to avoid his fate. This is... gonna end poorly, isn't it.

Oh, now they're being chased by "hunting lions" through the city in the middle of the night. Jason does an amazing flip to escape and doesn't know how he did it.

Cut to the day. Geographically incorrect red-tailed hawk scream. They're all drawing lots to see who gets fed to the Minotaur. I wonder if Jason's going to "volunteer as tribute".

How long does it take 20,000 people to draw lots anyway?

Hercules draws a white stone. There's a girl checking out Jason before he draw a white stone too. LOVE INTEREST AHOY. The King and Queen are sarcastic. Pythagoras draws the black stone. He looks crushed.

Council of war! "Maybe you could talk about triangles and BORE the Minotaur to death," says Hercules. Pythagoras tries to explain that triangles are really fascinating and something about their angles and Herc is not buying it. Don't listen to him, Pythagoras.

Oh, the girl is Ariadne, she's having dinner with her parents, but she's really all hot and bothered about Jason, isn't she?

And... Pasiphae is an archetypal Bitch!Mom. Sigh. She slaps Ariadne when Ariadne obliquely refers to the fact that PASIPHAE FUCKED A BULL and that's why they have to feed the Minotaur... I think? Oh, wait, no, it's an oblique reference to something bad Minos did. Okay, fine. Still archetypal Bitch!Mom even if she's doing it to protect her husband's honor, such as it is.

Jason grabs a sword and the black stone and sneaks out to offer himself to the temple in Pythagoras's place while his friend is still asleep because... destiny. And Herc and Pythagoras are gonna rescue him. (Watching this, I can't help but wonder: So is that a sword under your tunic, or are you just happy to see me?)

MORE WATERMELONS IN THE MARKET. Okay, yes, so this is fantasy!Atlantis, so rules and logic need not apply, but still, this bothers me way more than the two-headed dragon (which no one has explained WHY IT'S THERE, WHY IT WASN'T TIED UP, and why the guards want to murder Jason for harassing it) Does everyone have one? Is it a pet? What is up with the two-headed dragon and why don't we see it again??

Ariadne notices the switcheroo, but no one else does (or cares enough to comment). Oh, and he gets a last bath and no one notices the sword... and Ariadne sneaks in to chat. "Look, lady, I don't know who I am, but I have DESTINY ON MY SIDE, OKAY?"

Ariadne gives him a thread "enchanted by the witches of Colchis" who I hope we'll meet in later episodes. They gaze soulfully into each others' eyes and almost kiss, and she runs away.

Pythagoras confronts Jason as he's walking to the Temple with the other sacrifices (all NPCs) and tells him his theory about triangles is destined to bore millions of children throughout history, and Pythagoras runs home and starts looking for weapons because something something bond of platonic friendship something something SHIPPING.

Of course Herc goes with him after some initial griping because Pythagoras is going to get hurt otherwise. I don't understand their relationship, but okay.

The scarred guard we've seen earlier is clearly a PC. A girl runs away, Pythagoras and Herc get caught, and they get press-ganged into replacing her. The scarred guard is a jerk, so we'll probably see him again. Herc keeps griping.

Jason introduces himself to one of the other sacrifices who will either survive, or die horribly at the last moment. Jason remembers the string and starts stringing. The NPCs wait to be slaughtered. Jason finds one of the bodies, but it doesn't seem ike the Minotaur eats them or anything, so I don't understand what's going on.

Jason runs into Pythagoras. They hug. SHIP SHIP SHIP. More screams. Bones. His new friend is alive, and the Minotaur looks like Pan's Labyrinth. Jason gets tossed around a lot. The Minotaur is simulanteously moving like a bull and a man, which is creepy but Jason kills him (somehow? I think with Ariadne's necklace??)....and he transforms into a person who thanks him for lifting the curse. He's cryptic, gushing about Jason's destiny and how Minos must never find out, while our new party member looks on in awe.

Cut to the Oracle, who's been watching all this in her visions being all dramatic for cryptic expository purposes. Meanwhile, the King pontificates over the survivors. Jason gives Ariadne back her necklace while Pasiphae looks on. Ariadne is smitted, Pasiphae is curious. Hercules has plans to leverage their fame into money. There's some banter, making fun of Jason's name... and we end on a fat joke. Oooookay. CAN YOU PLEASE STOP WITH THE FAT JOKES, WRITERS, THIS REALLY ISN'T AS FUNNY AS YOU THINK IT IS.

Up next episode: The Oracle is cryptic. Fight scene! "My name is Medusa."

WHY ARE ALL THE CREDITS BACKWARDS PLEASE STOP

This seems like a pretty standard introductory episode, but the writers need to work a little harder to keep me interested. I have no idea where this series is going, exactly -- I'm mostly just here for Pythagoras at this point -- so I guess we'll see what happens in the next episode.

[hymn2000]

Chiquitita - MCU AU fanfic - C2

Story summary: Something strange is happening. Someone from space has made their way to Earth, armed with a strange weapon. Targeting teenagers, their ray gun, when fired, turns the victim into a toddler. The Avengers set out to stop this, and find a way to reverse the effects. However, they don’t all come out of the battle unscathed.

Previous chapters: 1

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: de-aging, family stuff, corporal punishment (early chapters only), mental health stuff, hurt/comfort

Chapter 2 - Happy Days

-

Peter was thrilled to be picked up by Loki after school on Friday. 

“Someone’s happy” Loki said, dropping Peter’s helmet on his head and clipping the strap. “We can’t hang about: hop on”

Peter happily climbed onto the back of the motorbike, winding his arms round Loki. He couldn’t help laughing a little as they set off, and not just because of the look on some people’s faces. Tony didn’t approve of Loki’s motorbike, much less the idea of Peter riding it, so this was a rare treat. There was something so good about streaming along so fast in the open air. It felt liberating.

-

Tony wasn’t happy when he heard the door leading to the garage. He marched out to confront Loki, and upon seeing his heavy leather jacket, had his suspicions confirmed.

“I told you to ring Happy!”

“I’m more than capable of picking up my own son” Loki said. “Anyway, it was quicker to just do it myself”

“I don’t like you sticking Peter on the back of that death trap, you know I don’t!” Tony snapped. He looked at Peter. “We need to talk. Scram”

Peter did.

He went into the kitchen, and pleasantly surprised to find it occupied.

“Aunt Nat! Uncle Clint! What are you doing here?!” he exclaimed, bounding over to Nat for a hug.

“Your dad thought it’d work better if everyone stayed here tonight” Nat said. “I think he’s still annoyed about the latecomers to the last mission”

“Ooh yeah, he was furious!” Peter giggled. “Aww, no one told me you were gonna be here! Where are the others?”

“Bruce is down in the lab, I think” 

“Wanda and Steve are out on the balcony” Clint said. “Thor isn’t here yet”

Peter stood back. “Aww, this is so cool!”

“Unlike that little uniform” Clint said, raising an eyebrow. “It’s like something out of a Victorian school telly drama”

Peter just laughed. “I know; isn’t it awful?”

“No, it’s not!” Tony snapped, coming into the kitchen. “It’s a fine uniform, and- hold on, what’s happened to your blazer?!”

“What do you mean?”

“Take your bag off and come over here”

Peter did as he was told. Tony turned him round.

“How the hell have you managed to rip the seam like that?! What have you been doing?!”

“Uuh, it might have happened in drama” Peter said, turning back to face him. “I’m not sure”

Tony sighed irritably. “That bloody class! Why the school won’t enforce a different set of clothes for drama is beyond me!”

“What are you kicking off about now?” Loki asked, appearing in the doorway.

“He’s ruined his blazer”

“Oh come on, it’s hardly ruined. Don’t overreact” Peter said.

Tony smacked him hard. “Don’t you dare take that tone with me, young man!”

Loki came to Peter’s aid, taking the boys blazer off and having a proper look.

“I can fix that in five minutes. Don’t worry about it” he said.

Tony scowled, and huffed. “Take your bag and then go and get changed, kid. You know the rules”

Once Peter was out of earshot, Loki smacked Tony over the head with a newspaper.

“Hey!”

“Hey yourself” Loki said. “You didn’t have to get that angry over it. You really were overreacting. Just like you overreacted about the motorbike”

“Oh, go away, Loki. Don’t you have some sewing to do?”

Loki looked at him. He grabbed hold of him, kissing him long and hard on the cheek, just to annoy him.

“Fuck off, Loki! Let go of me!”

Loki continued a moment longer, and then abruptly released him. “I love you too”

And with that, he grabbed Peter’s torn blazer and swept out of the room. Tony grumbled to himself, scrubbing his cheek with the back of his hand.

“What are you staring at?”

“Well” Nat said. “You do put on quite a show”

“Just wait till you’re married with kids, Natasha. You’ll understand it better then”

“He’s right” Clint said. “Being married just means that you can’t run away as easily when they start pissing you off”

Tony made eye contact with him, and they nodded their spousal solidarity. It was good to have someone who understood.

-

Peter got changed as quickly as he could, anxious to spend as much time with the Avengers as possible. He made sure everything was tidy so Tony wouldn’t have anything to gripe about, and then hurried back to the kitchen. It was fuller than before.

“Uncle Thor!” he jumped at the god.

“Hey, little one” Thor smiled, hugging him tight. “Ready for tomorrow?”

“Yep!” Peter said.

“Hi again, Peter” Wanda said.

“Hi! Hey, Uncle Steve!”

“Hey, Peter”

There was a knocking sound in the doorway, and Peter turned round.

“Mumma!!” 

“Hey, baby”

Peter ran over to hug her. “What are you doing here?!”

“What, I can’t pay my favourite spider-boy a visit on a whim? I said I’d stay till after the mission”

Peter grinned up at her. “Good! Hey, are you helping out tomorrow?”

“I’ve got places to be in the morning. I’ll be back afterwards so you can tell me all about your triumph”

“Ok! You’re gonna be here for the evening though, right? Hey, can you stay over? Hey daddy, mumma can stay over, right?”

Loki sucked his breath. “I’d ask other dad if I were you”

Tony felt all eyes turn to him, and sighed. “What? Don’t turn me into a villain. Of course she can stay. If she wants”

“Sure, but I’ll be gone early”

“That’s fine” Tony said. “Peter, you’re getting overexcited”

“Well, duh! We’re having a full team evening! It’s been ages since we’ve all been together like this!”

“You’ve exerted more energy in the half hour since you got back from school than you have in the last month. Go and take a nap”

Peter laughed at first, but then he saw the look on Tony’s face.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No” Tony said. “Go to your room while the grown-ups talk”

“Hey, that’s well out of order!” Peter said. “I’m just as much a part of this team and mission as everyone else!”

“We’ll fill you in later. You're overtired and overexcited: nap time”

“Well” Loki said before Peter could protest further. “If Peter’s excused, I am too”

“Oh good; you can put him down for his nap then, since you’re going that way” Tony said.

“Aww, come on! This is so unfair!”

“Stop arguing and do as you’re damn well told!”

Peter pouted. Loki laughed, going over and putting an arm round the boys shoulders.

“A little lie down will do you good. Come along”

Peter did, but they could all hear him grumbling halfway down the hall. Carol shook her head fondly.

“He’s a funny kid”

“He’s a little bugger, is what he is” Tony said. “I’m half tempted to cut him out of this whole to-do with kindsprengen altogether”

“Yeah, that’s not a great idea” Nat said. “He’s right in saying he’s a part of the team just like the rest of us”

“He’s a good kid, and he knows what he’s doing” Steve said. “Let him get the excitement out of his system tonight, by all means. But don’t pull him from the mission. He’s needed, and that aside, he’d never forgive you if you did”

-

Peter wasn’t very happy about being sent to bed like a sulky little kid, but knowing Loki was having a nap in the next room made him feel a little better about the situation. He cuddled up under the covers and closed his eyes. Despite his excitement, he soon calmed and settled down, feeling happy enough, and a little fuzzy to boot. 

-

Peter woke up at around half six. He took his time stretching and adjusting, still feeling all fuzzy and soft. He felt better for the little sleep, and quite happily climbed out of bed and went wandering off to find everyone.

Everyone had moved into the second living room, most of them lounging on the sofas in light conversation, with Bruce sat at the little desk and Tony sat on the little desk, having their own conversation. Loki was back with the group, curled up on the love seat with Carol beside him, her legs over his. 

“Hey, I’ve just had a thought” Peter said, flopping down beside Wanda. “Since we’re all here, and there’s a lot to cater for, you know what that means? Takeaway night!”

“Absolutely not” Tony said. “We need to look after ourselves ahead of tomorrow. I’ll make us all something good and healthy”

Peter stared at him, not quite sure if he was joking or not. He cleared his throat and started chanting, slapping his knees to the beat.

“Do-mi-no’s, do-mi-no’s, do-mi-no’s, do-mi-no’s”

Wanda copied him, and Peter grinned at her. It was only a few more seconds before Nat and Clint joined in, and Thor. 

“DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S, DO-MI-NO’S-”

Even Carol and Loki joined in. Tony, Steve, and Bruce looked at each other.

“I’ll cook a good breakfast in the morning” Steve said. 

Tony sighed. “Pizza alright with you two?”

“Fine by me” Bruce said, and Steve nodded.

Tony sighed again, and glared at Peter. “Ok, ok! Stop shouting and we’ll order a Domino’s”

“Yes!” Peter crowed triumphantly, high-fiving Wanda. “I love Domino’s!”

Loki donated his tablet to the cause, and Peter sat on the coffee table in the middle of the room (ignoring Tony’s protests), and took suggestions from everyone else on what they should order.

“Wait, sorry to interrupt” Steve said. “But how are we going to split the bill?”

“We’re not” Peter said. “I’ll pay for it. I’ve got quite a lot in my bank account”

“What?! No, absolutely not!” Tony said firmly. “You’re not using your pocket money for a massive takeaway order. I’ll pay for it. No arguing”

Everyone was more than happy with that offer. 

“Wait wait wait, how many of us are there?” Peter said after a while. “Let me count. Ok, so, dads times two, uncles Thor, Clint, Steve, and Bruce. Mumma, aunties Wanda and Nat... So, nine of us, right?”

“What about yourself?” Carol said.

“Oh yeah. Ok, so ten. How many cookies do we want, then? It’s a box of four. Ten boxes, then we all get four each?”

Loki laughed at him. “Your eyes are bigger than your belly, young man. After a full pizza meal, I don’t think anyone would manage four”

“Daddy’s right, chick” Tony said. “If you’re getting cookies, go for five boxes. Two each is fine”

Peter nodded, adding five boxes to the order and scrolling through the basket. 

“Ok, so we’ve got all those pizzas, and the cookies. Do we want anything else?”

“We’ve got loads of drink here, so don’t go ordering any bottles” Loki said.

“Yep yep, ok. What about sides? We could get garlic bread or chicken strippers or-”

“We don’t need sides” Wanda said. “We have more than enough just with the pizzas”

Peter nodded, and surveyed the room. “Any objections? No? Ok. Dad, your turn”

He clicked the checkout button and held the tablet out. Tony stood up and took it from him. 

“This is a ridiculous order” he said. “You’re all ridiculous. We could’ve had a pasta bake”

Peter laughed at him, so Tony pushed him off the coffee table. 

“It’s a good job I love you, you know that?”

Peter just grinned. Amazing what an annoying chant could achieve.

- 

Peter started getting a little irritable while they were waiting, as did a couple of the others. Their spirits all lifted once the food arrived, and having a good meal did wonders for morale. Steve took the lead in getting everyone organised, laying the pizzas out and dishing out plates and bottles of pop and making sure everyone got fed. Tony turned up the stereo a little and everyone was more than happy to lounge about eating and talking together. 

“Oh my god, this is so good” Peter said after his first bite of pizza. “I swear I always forget just how good Domino’s is”

“It’s never a disappointment, I’ll agree with you there” Loki said, pleased that Peter had chosen his favourite takeaway.

“We’ve got enough here to feed an army” Bruce said.

“Hey, we are an army” Clint said. “We deserve this”

“I’ll second that” Nat said, raising a glass.

“You know, I think this is the first time I’ve had a Domino’s” Carol said.

“What?! Aww mumma, you’ve been missing out! It’s honestly like, the best pizza going”

“It is pretty good, I’ll give you that” she said. “It was a good choice”

Peter laughed happily. “We should all have another big takeaway to celebrate tomorrow!”

“We’re all coming back here afterwards anyway” Steve said. “We could definitely have a meal. Tony?”

“Hm. I’ll think about it” Tony said. “Depends how quickly we get things wrapped up. I might just want to sleep afterwards”

“Oh, well I’m definitely on board with that idea” Loki said. “Still, we’ll probably all be exhausted afterwards. Communal lunch may be a good idea”

“Maybe I’ll cook something. I think one enormous takeaway order is enough for one weekend”

“Huh. Hey, uncle Steve? Did you say you’re cooking a big breakfast in the morning?” Peter asked.

“I said I’d cook a good breakfast. It’s not a good idea to have too big a breakfast before a fight: you don’t want to get indigestion”

“Ok, ok. Well, I’ll look forward to it anyway!”

-

Tony went into dad mode and insisted everyone go to bed at a reasonable time. Peter protested the most, of course, but he didn’t protest too much after Carol starting talking reason with him. 

Tony felt like a school teacher on a residential, assigning rooms and telling everyone where they’d be sleeping. Nat and Wanda were put in the twin room, with Clint, Steve, and Thor in the triple. Bruce and Carol were both given their own rooms. 

“I’ve set up the back room futon as well though, just in case anyone gets the urge to murder one of their room mates in the middle of the night” Tony said. 

Everyone managed to settle fairly quickly, and Tony enjoyed the sudden quiet. He shut everything down and locked up. He checked on Peter (Carol was still with him, so he left them to it), and then went and climbed into bed with Loki, who was already asleep. He settled down happily enough, looking up at the ceiling, thinking. This whole kindsprengen thing really put him on edge. Still, they knew where it was going to be in the morning, and they could put a stop to this whole scary-weirdness. Tony couldn’t wait for it to be over. A few hours, tops, and then he could relax and get back to normal. Maybe he’d do something on Sunday to unwind a bit. Maybe he’d take Peter to play mini golf. Or go go-karting. Yeah, go-karting sounded like a good option. Lovely. One little battle on Saturday morning, and go-karting on Sunday. Maybe he could grab Loki in the evening and go out for a drink somewhere nice. Yeah. That sounded like a good idea. In fact, that sounded perfect.

*

[callie-the-snarky-geek-blog]

RvB16 Episode 9 Review: Walk and Talk

(Old Blog Repost)

Sorry that this is going up later than normal guys. Had to clean all day and I can barely feel any part of my body. But like Hell am I NOT talking about this episode cause… gosh I need to talk about this episode. So I’m not even going to bother with an intro, lets just get right into it!

Overview

Carolina and Wash have arrived at… I guess some studio. Yeah, Dylan sent them to Jax so I guess they’re in Vancouver since Jax mentioned having a soundstage there. Also turns out Private George is still around and he escorts them to Jax, who is causing the producer Kohan (which may be a reference to Koen Wooten, RT’s 3D producer) to have a nervous breakdown. Jax proceeds to give the Freelancers a look around the soundstage which is a replica of the Blues and Reds underwater base. Speaking of which, whatever happened to that base? We never saw it blow up or anything, so is it under UNSC investigation and Jax can’t use it because of that?

The tour eventually leads to Jax showing the Freelancers… the room where they got armor locked. Yeah, because showing people where they got tortured is a great idea. Wash however doesn’t quite recall it. We do find out that he’s aware that parts of his memory are fuzzy, at least the memories involving Season 15. But he starts to recall the armor lock and Locus rescuing him and Carolina, so he thinks that this could be good for his memory! Haha, sure buddy… yeah I get the feeling that something’s gonna go wrong eventually.

Anyways, I guess Dylan told Jax that the Freelancers were coming, but not why as he asks why they’re there. Carolina explains about needing to find the Reds and Blues… and as it turns out Sarg and Simmons are still with Jax! In fact, Sarge is in the room! Yeah it looks like Jax decided to throw Sarge a bone and let him be a walk-on by playing one of the frozen Freelancers. Which seeing Sarge in a different armor is… weird, but at least it’s still red! Carolina thinks that this means that everything about time travel was wrong and she can be relieved, but haha nope! Sarge confirms that Simmons currently has the time gun and they did indeed go through time! But they weren’t lost guys! They only had to ask for directions once or twice! Just to make that clear!

Speaking of lost in time, we cut back to Grif who is currently heading for England along with Huggins, who is just singing to herself. Grif gets annoyed and tries to make a new rule for her to not do that, making Huggins gripe that he acts like Atlus. Essentially realizing that he can’t keep up his own ‘no talking’ taboo, he asks if Atlus was who attacked them in Episode 2. Silly, she told you her name… though I guess watching the innocent pizza shop get blown up would make him forget. That was Kalirama, who we learn is Atlus’ wife and is scary. I cans ee that union working out great! Huggins then reminds Grif that he didn’t want to know about the God stuff, which he clarifies that he doesn’t…

And cut to that night where he’s asking about what the Gods are. Yep, I knew he wouldn’t last. Huggins says they’re God-Gods, which Grif pretty much represents most people I’ve seen and calls it bullshit. While Huggins can’t speak for humans, she explains that her own kind were given religion, language, etc when the Cosmic Powers came to be and assumes that it worked that they likely did the same for humanity. Something that Grif doesn’t buy whatsoever, saying that he made him. I guess that means Grif at some point decided that the reason why we’re here isn’t due to some kind of cosmic coincidence. Well he has had 16 seasons to think about it. Anyways, Hugigns tries to argue this which causes her to go into a Southern accent. This actually makes Grif laugh, although he does try to cover it up.

So yeah, we get more Grif and Huggins bonding and I’ll go more in depth over their interactions in the review portion, but I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! So we get some talk about stuff like Die Hard and destiny (who is someone Hugigns actually knows) before the two finally make it to the English Channel. Grif claims he can’t swim and I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not, but apparently his armor can… let him just walk across the bottom of the sea. Ugh… is that a thing in actual Halo? Also I’m pretty sure that he’d still have to swim to the bottom to walk across it, so yeah he was 100% being sarcastic and probably just didn’t want to put in the effort of swimming for it. Anyways as they continue on, Huggins tries to get Grif to have an epiphany on the whole ‘complain about adventure every time it happens’ thing by convincing him that it’s better to focus on resolving it as fast as possible. Aka, actually work to resolve his problems instead of using pre-emptive laziness and whining over it. Grif doesn’t seem to like that idea… but he’s having a bit of a gas problem so…  we’ll see if he takes the advice when out of the water.

Back in present day, Sarge and Jax have taken Carolina and Wash to Simmons, who shows them the time gun. Carolina is very skeptical about this, but Simmons remembers that he proved it before. What do I mean? Well he opens up a portal and it shows past!Simmons from a few weeks ago. Yeah, current!Simmons knew that he talked to his past self because… well he met his future self in the past. Past!Simmons is with past!Sarge in Troy where they are trying to recruit Achilles for their makeshift Red Army. Currently past!Sarge is trying to poses as Zeus, which goes about as well as you’d expect. Current!Sarge explains that ultimately the recruitment failed, so he just stabbed Achilles in the foot. Advice Past!Sarge takes, does so, and the portal closes. So we can blame Sarge for Achilles dying? GDI SARGE!

So to say that Wash and Carolina have a hard time accepting this would be putting it lightly. But Jax certainly believes their case! So yeah the John he hired was John Wayne, his new AD is George Washington, and Alexander the Great… yeah he’s died since Episode 5. RIP. Turns out his immune system couldn’t handle the modern common cold. So this leads us to why Carolina and Wash are there, Dylan said that Jax was an expert on the subject. Simmons tries to warn them against going into it since if you recall, last we saw Simmons he called bullshit to it all since it went beyond science. I guess he decided to avoid religion though. However Jax explains that while regular science may not be able to explain it, science fiction can.

So there have been a lot of questions about how time travel works in this series, so Jax explains paradoxes to us. In most films that deal with this kind of topic, we normally get one of three different forms of a paradox. Those forms are:

A Closed Loop: In this paradox, everything that one does is essentially pre-determined. For example, when Sarge went to Broken Ridge and caused his men’s deaths that he time traveled to prevent. Or when in the past, Tucker shooting Flowers and cockblocking himself. These are examples of events that they’ve seen/remembered in the past, but it was caused by their future selves so it is the most logical theory. There is a downside though, but we will go into that later.

Multiverse/Alternate Reality: In this paradox, any change you make does change things. But what it actually does is create a different universe. So your timeline still exists, but you also created a new one. Jax deems that this theory means that you are essentially ignoring the paradox to being with, so he deems this one unlikely.

Flexible Timeline: This is when you make a change in time that affects your existence or something else important that can change time. But instead of everything changing, there is a buffer period that gives you time to fix everything. The problem however is that there is no explication for how this buffer period exists, so Jax also deems it unlikely.

Therefore, we are left with a closed loop. As I said, everything you do is what you were meant to do and history plays out as it is meant to. But as Jax explains, this comes with some free will issues. You see, since everything that is meant to happen happens, it means that you can’t actually control it. Lets use Church’s efforts in Season 3 as an example. Yeah I know it’s not 100% clear if he DID time travel, but it’s the best we got. Church tried to prevent things, like Flowers dying or getting himself killed by Sheila. But his efforts ultimately led to those things happening. He caused Flowers to have an aspirin overdose and die and his efforts with Sheila caused him to get blown up to begin with. Despite Church having tried to stop those things, he instead caused them. He had no free will over his efforts as they were already pre-determined. Kind of like if it was pre-ordained by the Gods. HMM…

Since most everyone is very skeptical about this, Jax decides to run a test. He asks Sarge to decide whether he’s going to use the time gun to appear inside a closet int he meeting room when the meeting is over. Of course Sarge says he will, which he’s not supposed to do but moving on! So lets just say that Sarge decides not to use the gun when the meeting ends to appear in the closet. They are going to open the door right now. If they open it and find future!Sarge behind it, it means that free will doesn’t exist as it goes against what Sarge has intended. If the closet is empty, it’s because Sarge didn’t go back as he himself decided and therefore free will is fine. I… probably am understanding this wrong, so take that explanation with a grain of salt.

Now the question is, who is going to open the door. Everyone opts out except Simmons, who decides fuck with it and to go for it. He hesitates at first, but eventually he opens it. And what do they find behind it? Why none other than Caoose and Lopez of course! FINALLY!!!

Review

DEAR GOD WHERE DO I BEGIN?!

Okay since time travel stuff is going to give me a headache, lets do Grif and Huggins first. And as I said above, I LOVE IT! So first we do get a little exposition from these scenes. For example, Huggins explaining that the Gods to her kind are God-Gods, but Grif believing that they’re alien somethings isn’t exactly said to be wrong. It’s not much, but it does help leave open to what the Cosmic Powers really are and we can assume that Huggins’ species of light beings are probably aliens that look like… well, lens flares. Going off Huggins dialogue despite being a rookie on the field, she’s been around beings like Atlus for awhile and even has family members. So likely Huggins’ kind are just devout followers of the Cosmic Powers who work for them on tasks like spying and being messengers, but aren’t God-like themselves.

These scenes were just… so frekain’ good. Like you can tell that at first, Grif is trying to not warm up to Huggins or get into any of the Gods stuff as he said he wouldn’t. But as last season demonstrated, he really can’t handle having no kind of one-on-one intention and starts to warm up to the little lens flare. He even tries to sell to her that Die Hard was his life story (side note: seriously Geoff, what was that voice when quoting the one line? WHAT WAS THAT VOICE YOU DORK?!) cause Grif is a dork. It was sweet of Huggins to go along with it and find it funny until getting excited and quoting lines herself. Like it was funny and cute and I freakin’ LOVED it. Like when Grif starts to laugh at Huggins’ southern accent before trying to stop himself was just… OMG Grif you softie.

It was also nice to have Grif let out about how he feels about the frequent getting dragged into adventures stuff. We all know that he’s stick of it and he’s gone into it before, like to Dylan last season and to a lesser degree Simmons when explaining his plan of pre-emptive laziness. But he’s never actually had someone try to work with him to get him through it, like Huggins did here. Like Huggins is just so positive but insightful and seems like the kind of positive reinforcement that Grif currently needs. And her advice isn’t wrong either. Shit happens and trying to avoid it or complain about it isn’t going to make it go away. You have to work through it, no matter how much you don’t want to. That’s life: frustrating but ultimately you take what it throws at you. It seems that this is the lesson that Grif is going to have to learn, and maybe now he’ll start to. I mean him taking the trek to England on foot and so far taking it incredibly well with no complaints so far is a good sign.

Alright, back to the present day stuff. So we do see that Wash on some level knows that he has memory issues. If I were to guess, he knows that his memory of the Blues and Reds stuff is fuzzy, but not everything else. He pretty much thinks that it’s not as big of an issue than it really is and that he’s closer to being better than he is. Speaking from experience here, that’s pretty normal honestly. Still, eh does seem to be doing okay and takes the time travel stuff exactly as I expected him to: complete and utterly exasperated like Carolina is. It was also nice to see Jax, Sarge, and Simmons be relived that he’s okay, even if he got annoyed with them asking about if his neck was okay. Past!Simmons being outright ecstatic to see him up and okay made me smile.

So this is the first time in four episodes that we’ve seen Sarge and Simmons again. They seem to be doing well. Sarge got a walk-on role that he seems satisfied with and while Simmons has still given up on trying to figure out how time travel works, he doesn’t seem to find science bullshit anymore. Heck, eh seems a lot more relaxed in this episode. Of course, going back to the whole ‘corruption’ thing, I don’t know if they’re still at risk or not since by now they’ve been back in the present for a few weeks. And then Caboose and Lopez are FINALLY back after six straight episodes of being missing, but who knows that the Hell they’ve been up to… but I’m calling it now, they’re why pizza doesn’t exist. I am calling it right now because it would explain why we haven’t seen them this long! But yeah Caboose seems normal, but we’ll have to wait and see.

So now lets talk time travel. Dear God… so it’s good that Joe seemed to realize that people were going to be confused and decided to explain paradoxes. I figured that it was the closed loop type, but I know a lot were confused. But now we have the question of free will in play. As I hinted u above, trying to figure this out is going to give me a headache. Plus even if not this season, we’ll likely go down the ‘you don’t pre-detemrine our fates, we do!’ type thing later n this arc. Which I’m fine with, it just always hurts to think about is all. Still yeah, we finally talk about the time travel stuff and it really helped give some distinction on what we’re dealing with exactly. But going of the whole ‘pre-ordienced by God’ part… I think that Chrovous planned on this. Remember the move it goes on, the more the chains weaken and he gets free as the others become shisno.

So we are now going into Episode 10, aka the Big Twist Episode. Maybe Joe will go against that, but still… so one of two things are likely gonna happen. We’re either going to stick with present day, find out what Caboose and Lopez have been up to, and it ends with some kind of major shake-up happening. Or we’re going to sick to the Sixth Century, Grif and Huggins make it to England, and shit breaks loose. Or even a combo of the two. Either way, if Joe sticks to the ‘Episode 10 = Big Twist’ trend, then next week is going to be insane. And with how this one went, it is very possible for something to happen. So now, we wait.

Final Thoughts

This season continues to be great. We got a lot of humor, some good exposition, Grif and Huggins bonding was fantastic, and FINALLY everyone is back in the plot. Something tells me that things are going to be kicking into overdrive soon, and I cannot be both more excited and more terrified for what awaits us. But this episode was absolutely great and the more light-hearted feel was very much needed after last week. Very much enjoyed it!

[verscorch]

Recent events got me wondering why I deal with some people.

It’s no secret that I am a very focused, driven individual, and when it comes to leadership, I hate playing tug-of-war. There are proven, effective ways of doing things that I believe ought to be kept in mind as guidelines even if not adhered to letter-for-letter:

Be willing and able to communicate issues, whether they’re “actual” issues or “perceived” issues, with those who you work with. This is the golden rule, part one. If you’re not willing to put yourself out there then no conversation will ever happen. The issues will perpetuate.

Be willing and able to listen and put to meaningful thought into issues as they’re brought up. This is the golden rule, part two. Communication is a two-way street. You can send all you want but it’s pointless if there’s no one there to receive it. The meaningful thought part is especially important here. Sometimes you have to sit and let words digest instead of going with your knee-jerk reaction. This can be difficult, and is much easier to do via text than it is to do via voice.

Be motivated and show enthusiasm. If the leaders are motivated and enthusiastic about what they’re doing, then others will follow. Positive mindsets, just like negative ones, are contagious.

If you expect the worst, you will usually get it.

In most situations I have been in, these guiding principles have worked incredibly well. These principles guide each and every interaction with my Ebonguard officers, who are absolutely fantastic. People are busy and that’s understandable, but every one of them is a joy to work with and I’m lucky to have them around. (I’d like to make some additions to the team to fill other roles, since most of us are oriented towards the actual administration of the group: looking over apps, chatting with recruits, overall making sure that we can keep the lights on. I would specifically like to add some dedicated RP officers, but this gets tricky when very few members of the LS are self-starters. I think if we get volunteers then we can make it work though as long as the new officers understand what is expected of them.)

I think I can chalk this up in part to the simple fact that the Ebonguard officers are good at what they do. The two most active members of the team have prior experiences, both good and bad I’m pretty sure, with running groups, which makes their insight invaluable and their opinions informed. We can actually sit down and have conversations. We do actually sit down and have conversations. And these conversations are productive! We pin-point problems. We suggest solutions. Sometimes we even plan RP, although schedules occasionally conspire to make that part a little difficult because the most active chunk of the team is comprised of a student, someone who travels like every other week for their job, and an Australian with no sleep schedule. (I wouldn’t have them any other way though!)

This is a very, very stark contrast to these assholes.

I am, for practical intents and purposes, the de facto leader of two seperate groups. One, just mentioned, is good. The other. Is not.

Take everything that makes my Ebonguard officers great and flip it, and you have the Artifice’s officer team.

Dealing with the Artifice team is a special exercise in both patience and masochism. To be completely frank, it didn’t used to be as bad as it is right now, and I have no idea when it got so bad. I know when exactly all the shit came to the forefront and precipitated into the situation that we’ve been living with for the past three and a half months. Before the New Year, we were all bright-eyed and motivated. We had a game-plan. We were going to work together. We were going to use the strong foundation that we built in order to make something truly great. We had a vision. We knew what we had to do, basically, to make it a reality.

... And then nothing happened.

We took December off for Finals season and holidays, as is kind of scheduled and expected, and I can only assume that during that time, something changed. When the clock struck twelve on New Years Day, something changed and it didn’t change for the better. A day passed. A week passed. No word of any change of plans. I rewrote the lore doc like we planned to do. Silence, maybe a grudging pat on the back. I spruced up the interior of the house, providing us with a shiny new space with which to run public events, which has since been used only once, and it wasn’t for strictly FC purposes. We were going to have a linkshell to help us network with people outside of our immediate circle, and although we have it now, it’s a far cry from anything we actually discussed doing and in pushing for it to actually get done -- I cannot and will not be responsible for everything -- I got demoted.

When we got to actually going over what happened in that particular instance, it felt productive at the time. Someone else stepped in to mediate the issue, though at the time I was definitely putting some serious thought into burning the group and moving on with my life. It’s no overstatement to say that I am the primary if not the sole creative force behind everything the FC is and does. I wrote the lore. My character is the last full-time leader of the FC, the other officers having all rerolled into characters who are not only wholly incapable of leading, but who don’t really mesh with the fabric of the group at all (even taking into account the idea that antagonistic relationships between characters within a group can be interesting and can very well be driving forces behind character development!). They do nothing. They affect nothing. They just kind of exist, and the only reason why they haven’t been fired yet is because that would be unfair on an OOC level even if it would be completely reasonable and in-character for my character to fire them or otherwise penalize them for not being useful to the company as a whole.

Unfortunately, it just popped up again. They cite passive-aggression as the precipitating factor despite being completely and totally unwilling to point out passive-aggression as it happens, and frankly since the way that I interface with the group has not changed since way, way back when I still actually liked them, I’m inclined to believe that it’s not necessarily an issue with how I interface but with how they perceive. They aren’t in a mindset that’s conducive to actually getting things done. All they do is ignore things as they’re brought up, or shut them down as being unnecessarily nitpicky, unimportant, or harsh, not even bothering to consider the fact that I don’t pipe up and say things for no reason. If I feel like it’s important enough to bring up, then chances are I have a good reason for it, those reasons ranging from “this is counter-productive” to “this hurt my feelings or made me angry for like five minutes and I would like you to stop doing that thing or take steps to handle similar situations differently in the future.”

But quite literally every time, one or the other chimes in to put the concern down without spending more than a hot 30 seconds considering what I’m trying to get at, and the overwhelming majority of the time they don’t ask me to clarify if I was being unclear, either. One just doesn’t seem to care. The other’s first reaction to anything I try to say that they don’t happen to agree with or like is immediate, intense anger which makes getting anything done impossible. For example, this person went off just the other day and, rather than even considering what I had said or was trying to say at quite literally any point in time, instead went on to characterize me as “having the weight of the world on their shoulders!” and being “easily replaceable.” To be fair, I lashed out first, but I made maybe one or two jabs at the two of them as a pair -- as officers, not even as people. This rant must have gone on for a solid seven to ten minutes.

Both of which I feel aren’t entirely true.

For the first count, it’s true that I voluntarily take on a lot of responsibility in running the company and making things work. I run the designated company plotline. I lead company meetings, in AND out of character because, again, my character is the only full-time leader of the FC. I’ve even started planning and slapping together some OOC shindigs like map parties and movie nights. But I don’t do this because I want an excuse to gripe. I do it because I like doing it. I like writing stories and I like seeing how people interact with the narrative I make. I enjoy playing a character in a position of power, although frankly it sucks that it also means I’m the only member of the officer team who is technically qualified to do the shitty, shitty job of hiring people IC. (There is a very good reason why IC play-ins are no longer a thing for Ebonguard, and its because I despise them. They are never anything but forced and robotic. Leon stops being Leon and starts being Officer Bot 5000 because, again, there’s no prerequisite or allowance for him to just not hire people who don’t leave a good impression on him; by this point in time people are already accepted into the FC on whatever character they applied with, and their character not being hired because my character is an asshole is a little unfair.)

The source of my gripes is not and never has been “I DO EVERYTHING!” in fact quite frankly I’m of the opinion that life would be a lot easier if I did, in fact, do everything. If I did everything then that would mean that everything is done to my (relatively high) standards and specifications, and not only that but they are done in a timely manner. The source of my gripes is, instead, that I’m sitting over here working my ass off while for all intents and purposes, they pick their noses. I’m pretty understanding of prior obligations and life getting in the way of things; it’s not an issue at all with my Ebonguard team even though the breakdown of time available to spend on doing stuff ends up being relatively the same. But their current reasoning does not hold up when taking the entire picture into account. I’m more than willing to and capable of understand/ing when you have to deal with a continuing family emergency. But what I’m not is a mindreader. 

One is pretty good at communicating when obligations arise and I respect him for that. My problems don’t usually start with him and in fact if I were in charge I would probably keep him around in the same capacity.

The other? At no point in time did she ever even make the slightest attempt to communicate to me, or the officer team as a unit, that she had some personal issues to deal with. The people closest to her as a person? Sure. I’m not in that group. But the officer team as a unit? Never.

Even discounting the current situation, it neither explains nor excuses the perpetual state of apathy they’ve basically been stuck in since Thanksgiving. One of them used to chip in and DM scenario events from time to time which was a pretty cool gig, and then he stopped. The other used to have a plot chain she was also running, and then lost the motivation for since they can’t manage large stories like I can. She at one point wanted to tie her plot into what I had so that I could continue/finish what she started, but she never gave me the notes and she never followed through on actually doing that. (This is what has happened to every event chain, whether heavy on story or not, that I’ve ever seen her try to run from the start of me being in the FC. It’s not the first time, and I guarantee that it won’t be the last.) This one also told me to my face not too long ago that she didn’t actually have any desire to be a leader and occasionally wondered what it would be like if she passed it off and then joined another FC just to be a member without all the responsibility.

And frankly, I wonder that too; if you don’t want to be a leader and/or don’t have the time or mental energy to dedicate to being a leader, then chances are pretty good that you should step aside and hand someone else the reigns. I would be absolutely willing to provide compensation for material assets and just straight-up buy the FC and take it off her hands. I could probably fix every single issue that the FC has within the span of 72 hours or less.

I also do not like this person as a person because they don’t treat me with respect and yet expect it in return, which is a MAJOR button of mine (I also have a general contempt for authority figures I guess), but it’s 2AM and that is a story for another time.

[placetobenation]

Back in June 2013 the Place to Be Nation invaded the information super-highway with the launch of the website you are visiting just now. Since then a back catalogue has grown to include thousands of podcasts and written pieces, some of which you might have missed and it is my arduous task pleasure to go through the archives and bring you some of the highlights of PTBN through the years.

This weeks audio offering comes to you from back in 2015 with Episode 9 of the excellent Dangerous Alliance podcast with JT Rozzero and Good Ol’ Will from Texas. This episode’s three falls consist of the guys arguing who would win a grudge match between two wrestlers given to them by supercard promoter Dan McGinn, before moving on to live watch of the Brian Pillman/Johnny B. Badd classic from Fall Brawl 1995, and finishing with a countdown of the hosts Top 5 live wrestling experiences. This particular show can be found here, but the I would recommend going back into the PTBN archives to check out the rest of the episodes from this show’s run.

And as always, whilst you settle down to listen to the Dangerous Alliance, why not have a look at this weeks trip into the written archives, and indeed the WWE Network archives as Aaron, Brian, Jacob, Dave and yours truly take you on an Excellent Network Adventure with a look at the Saturday Night’s Main Event from February 1992. We had some very differing opinions of the show, so take a look and make your own judgement on the penultimate episode of the original SNME run.

Saturday Night’s Main Event February 1992

Run Time: 46 Minutes

Why Aaron  Why???: Because no one else would pick anything. And I wanted to hear Sid’s apology again.

Best Segment

Seconds before “YES! It’s ME! Yes!”

Aaron George:  The entire package chronicling Sid’s descent into madness. The press conference where an expectant Sid crumples his notes before screaming at reporters followed by the most BOGUS act that Jack Tunney has ever pulled off is a pure joy to watch even 26 years after original airing. His sublime “apology” after being declared misunderstood is the perfect topper. No one “SINCERELY” apologizes through gritted teeth. No one until now.

Brian Bayless: Sid’s promo after his match where he talked about not needing friends and was pissed about WWF President Jack Tunney passing him over for the WrestleMania VIII title shot was awesome (Remember, it was announced at a press conference that Hogan would be facing Flair at WrestleMania VIII). Sid’s presence was off the charts.

Jacob Williams: The press conference was just fantastic as both campy fun entertainment and actually  advancing an angle. Sid’s reaction to Tunney’s decision is priceless. I paused just to further examine the wonderful fashion choices of everyone in the room.

Calum McDougall: I loved the Hogan vs, Sid recap purely because of Sid. From him standing up at the press conference only not to be announced, to calling the decision “BOGUS!”, to his completely disingenuous promo to close the segment, Sid was awesome. I loved it.

Dave Hall:  Randy Savage’s promo before Main Event. Just like the match, this was Randy Savage at his intense best. He laid out the situation and told us all he was going to do what it takes. He was focused, intense and drew me in as a viewer, which is what a promo should do.

Best Match

CONSENSUS!

Aaron George: While we were probably denied a blood soaked cage match between the Macho Man and The Snake to blow off their feud, the hate filled sprint we got here was almost satisfying. There was no one better at getting things over on an emotional level than Randy Savage, and given a world class douchebag in the form of Jake Roberts results were usually magic. This one was… solid… but I’ll take a solid hate filled brawl over Triple H and Randy Orton headlocking their way through a blood feud in 2009. In truth, with Jake’s big match WWF record it may have been for the best.

Brian Bayless: Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage, despite being short, was the best match on the show. It was intense and had heat even if the finish was anticlimactic. This was not a show that featured strong in-ring action.

Jacob Williams: Not sure if I’m the outlier here, but given how much time they were given, Roberts and Savage delivered. Both guys excel at bringing out the emotion in a feud, and you could really feel the hatred despite such a short match.

Calum McDougall: As much star power as the headline tag match had, my match of the night is Savage vs Roberts. Aaron mentioned that his biggest gripe with the I Quit match in the last Adventure was that it didn’t have enough hate in it, and you couldn’t make the same complaint here. If Savage had access to a machete or revolver you got the impression he might well have used it!

Dave Hall: Randy Savage vs Jake Roberts. This was the only decent match on the card. It had intensity and a good story. It was a good conclusion to their feud, which was very rare on a Saturday night’s Main Event. Savage wanted revenge and got it. I love Savage in this situation, as he breaks all the rules, but the storyline warrants the anger and aggression. Savage finishes the match, but then wants to get more shots in, which is what you would expect. The cut off of the angle at the end is a bit annoying, especially as it built to something new, but it does not take away from this match.

Most Cringeworthy Moment

“Brothers…”

Aaron George: They should be absolutely ashamed with themselves for their deceptive editing of the end of the 92 Rumble. Not only was Sid CHEERED when he threw out Hogan but Gorilla most certainly didn’t go on an indignant rant about how you look a man in the eyes when you throw him out. I get they want Hogan to be the face but you’d have to edit out every single one of these things to hide the fact that Hulk Hogan is the biggest sore loser in the history of wrestling.

Brian Bayless: At a time where Hogan’s stock was at his lowest in the company, having him dedicate his WrestleMania match to Brutus Beefcake was not what people wanted to see, especially since Hogan eliminated Sid in the Rumble after getting eliminated in legal fashion.

Jacob Williams: Brutus mentioning that Hogan slept with him in the hospital bed, “pumping blood” into him was strange. Really any form of Beefcake being associated with the main event scene was really grating.

Calum McDougall: Randy Savage’s pre-match interview, hearing Savage talk about domestic violence and being a bit tightly wound was just too close to the bone for my liking. Couple that with Vince’s line at the end about Savage not liking anyone who gets too close to Elizabeth and you get a great match being the filling in an Uncomfortable Sandwich.

Dave Hall: The replay from the Royal Rumble. I hated that when they showed the footage from the Royal Rumble that it was clearly dubbed so that the crowd can be heard chanting “Hogan, Hogan” and cheering Hogan’s dragging Sid Justice from the ring. The company wanted to push the storyline, and forced a change of reaction upon us to accomplish the goal.

Funniest Line/Moment

USA!

Aaron George:  “I SINCERELY apologize.” (clenches fists)

Brian Bayless: Heenan ragging on Hogan was amusing.

Jacob Williams: The absurd sound effect for Mountie’s cattle prod slays me every time.

Calum McDougall: “There will certainly be a face off if Sid hits Beefcake!” – Bobby Heenan’s clever description on the potentially gruesome consequences of Beefcake getting in Sid’s face.

Dave Hall: I was surprised at the lack of good funny lines during this show, especially when Bobby Heenan’s on commentary. I think that there was a little bit of a lack of chemistry between Bobby and Vince McMahon. However, I really like Heenan’s line, when referring to Jim Duggan, “General Schwarzkoff called for Duggan to come to the Gulf War. He wanted him to have one eye on the upcoming tanks and one eye on the air for planes at the same time”

Highlights

Minutes before he closed down his business.

Aaron George: It was truly cool to see Piper out there carrying that title. Equally cool seeing fantastic asshole Mountie get his comeuppance. After Sid’s apology, Sean Mooney ignores him during an interview which prompts him to get up and leave angrily. Sid’s mannerisms during the tag match are all top notch. His disgusted reaction to Beefcake is the EXACT same look I would give a man wearing those “pants.” Sid’s pissed when Hogan cups the ear, and his reach and drop to finally abandon the Immortal one was perfect. Then he threatens a woman… I could go on all night about Sid. Vince’s “Once again… reaching for the tag…” will forever be ingrained in my mind. Sid then proceeds to tell Mooney to ‘SHAAAAADUP” before using the phrase “for furthermore” in a sentence. Sid’s the best. The recap to the Savage/Roberts match was a great reminder of how batshit insane the end of 1991 was. Snake attacks! Elizabeth slappings! Both Savage and Jake cut short, but memorable promos. Jake insisting that some things are best when done twice, referring to the slapping of Elizabeth was pure heel, while Savage’s assertion that he might be insane was certainly intense enough to convince me. Man, Blake Beverly can take a clothesline!

Brian Bayless: I did like how they ended the show with a cliffhanger of Jake standing behind the curtain with a chair saying he would swing at whoever came through first as the camera switched from him to Savage & Elizabeth walking up the aisle.

Jacob Williams: This could have been called Sid’s Main Event because he killed it the entire show. When put in the right spot, he really has an awesome presence and feels like a huge deal. I loved his facials when he turns his back on Hogan and walks out. The heat and emotion of Jake and Savage was great, too. Bobby continued his hot streak from the Rumble with some great lines.

Calum McDougall: Motivated Sid is always a joy to behold, and everything he did in the tag match was a perfect set up for the upcoming Hogan match. This was good show but given that it was a 46 min sprint there won’t be an endless list… Oh wait! The fact it was a 46 minute sprint is a definite highlight in these times of three hour Raws.

Dave Hall: Not a lot on this card. The main event was great, the Hogan/Sid vs Flair/Undertaker match was solid, and pushed the storyline they wanted, but was a bit predictable. Outside of this, not a lot stood out for me. It would have been great if they had played the final angle out to its conclusion on this show, as it would have been the highlight of the night.

Lowlights

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Aaron George: Man that intro music was liquid human shit. I need Obsession! Why on Earth did Hogan STILL have to win the damn match by DQ? He can’t job to the current world champion and a living dead man? It was the best of Pipers, it was the worst of Pipers. Love the match and Mountie getting shocked, HATED seeing “SHOCK PROOF” written on a shirt. The Duggan/Slaughter versus Beverlys match was harmless, but boy is face Slaughter the biggest tool on planet Earth. Why on Earth was Hogan sleeping in Beefcake’s hospital bed???

Brian Bayless: The Beverly Brothers were originally supposed to face the Legion of Doom for a title shot but that did not happen due to a few reasons so they instead faced Jim Duggan & Sgt. Slaughter in a match that never needed to happen. That time could have been given to Savage and Jake.

Jacob Williams: I literally forgot about the Duggan tag match until I started writing my comments, so that’s probably not a good sign. Not sure if this really counts as a specific lowlight, but you could just feel throughout the entire show that this was nearing the end of the SNME era, which is a bummer. Despite all the big names, it just didn’t have quite the same grandeur that I associate with SNME.

Calum McDougall: Where was The Mountie’s music?! I’ll never know if he’s handsome, brave, strong or if he even enforces the law? Everything after the headline tag match with Hogan’s comeback annoyed me. The current and immediately previous WWF Champions dominated him for the best part of 10 minutes and Hogan does a Hogan and still stands tall.

Dave Hall: Besides the main and the big tag the other two matches on the card were unwatchable rubbish. Slaughter and Duggan no-sold The Beverleys and ruined that match, while the Mountie vs Piper match was also really bad. The Hogan interview was a bit below par for me, and the reaction of Sid just told everyone where that match’s story was going.

Wild Card BABY!!!

I APOLOGIZE!

Most Green: The woman clad in the lime green jogging suit cheering for Roddy Piper. She LOVED the man, and even Brain’s dismissive “weight watchers” comment couldn’t bring her down! She danced. She cheered. She greened. – AG

Vince is aware of pop culture??: When Piper says he doesn’t play that, Vince makes an In Living Color reference (NEITHER DOES HOMIE!). – JW

Best Tidbit: Sid Vicious himself claimed that Vince McMahon told him he’d end up being the biggest heel in the wrestling business then added it was another false promise from Vince. – BB

Best Sound Effects: Zzzzzap! Zzzzzap! Obviously the very real sounding shock stick sounds. – CM

Most WWF Moment: Hogan and Beefcake in the ring after the tag match gesturing about Sid being a big man, and leaving Hogan and threatening Beefcake, and they are going to get him. It was overplayed, and came across as an overreaction. Now if Sid had beaten Hogan (and Beefcake) down, that would have been fun to watch. – DH

Shaaaaaadap Award For Needing To Shaaaaaaaaadap! : Sean Money. Don’t ignore Sid you prick. He’s all decked out in red. Seriously, SHAAAAAAAADAAAP! – AG

Best Tidbit #2: The Mountie said that he hated working with Piper and felt Piper made him look like a “jobber.”  – BB

Most Head-Scratching: Roddy Piper’s shock proof vest. Not that Piper was wearing it, that’s genius, but how the Mountie didn’t realise something was amiss, namely how Piper seemed to have piled on the pounds and had a suspiciously rubbery chest. He was then shocked to find out Piper was wearing something under his shirt despite wrestling with him for the past five minutes. Don’t get it. – CM

Final Thoughts

NOW SEE HERE!

Aaron George: I LOVED watching this. It flew by and is a perfect snapshot of the time. All the top stars of the era in their top feuds leading to one of my favorite WrestleManias. I think when I get down to it this may be my favorite era. The madness that was 1991 is now starting to blend with the chaos of Ric Flair and the insanity of Randy Savage. And Sid. I think his character work in this run is incredibly underrated. I’m a big fucking mark for the guy. Can’t go full monty with the lack of a great match but as is: RATING: 9/10

Brian Bayless: This show was all about angle advancement. The action was forgettable and while Sid was awesome it did not end up having the same effect as when others turned on Hogan in the past because of how Hulkamania was clearly on the downswing. And Hogan himself was the jerk by screwing over Sid at the Rumble. Plus, Sid turning was not a surprise at all. The cliffhanger ending was cool but the rest of the show was forgettable and the production values were subpar here (The SNME debut on FOX) when compared to NBC. This show led to some changes to the WrestleMania card for better or worse. RATING: 5.5/10

Jacob Williams: Not much to speak of in terms of actual wrestling, but that was never the focus of SNME even at its peak. The angle advancement was done well, and they did a good job of putting the focus on the main event picture. Sid really carries the show with his insane presence. I couldn’t shake that the feeling that SNME was on the way out and wasn’t quite as shiny and pretty as the past. Still, this was a pretty good show and executed some of the hallmarks of the show (building characters and feuds, great pacing) extremely well. RATING: 7/10

Calum McDougall: This was a fun little sprint, and it kept my interest throughout. They packed a lot into the 46 minutes and even thought there’s was a pointless Duggan/Slaughter vs Beverly Brothers match in the middle it wasn’t around long enough to offend. It set up a major angle and blew off another so they used their time excellently. RATING: 8/10

Dave Hall: Apart from the main event, I found this card really hard to watch, slow and plodding. The interviews were poor, the commentary was below average, and everything was entirely too predictable. I would not recommend this card to anyone unless they were wanting to do a background for WrestleMania VIII. RATING: 3/10