#{ There Goes the Neighborhood | Dash Commentary }

[horrcrwood]

Tag List + Dump

General Tags

{ Who Cares if it Bleeds Beyond the Screen? | OOC }

{ All You Are is a Masquerade | IC }

{ The New Kids on the Chopping Block | Promos }

{ The Only Place it Pays to Be a Hack! | Self-Promos }

{ All Psychos Crave More Shocking Scenes | Asks }

{ How's This for An Establishing Shot? | Open Starters }

{ Saving You a Seat; Where the Dead Don't Die! | Closed Starters }

{ Hip to Be Scared | Memes }

{ Amidst Their Sins; The Game Begins | Askbox Games and Dashboard Memes }

{ Death by Design | Artwork }

{ Your Number's Up | Starter Calls }

{ It's Everything You Know; It's Everything You Fear | Headcanons }

{ There Goes the Neighborhood | Dash Commentary }

{ Lol u died XD | Crack }

{ Fine Melodic Sensibilities | Playlist }

Muse Tags

Carrie 👻

Dorian 🌃

Jason 💀

Scary Godmother 🎃

[starlightandspirits]

welp, fun while it lasted-

[mr-and-mrs-shortman-blog]

“I swear, someone better give me a good reason not to give Mr. High-and-Mighty Pataki a fresh black eye. Or strangle him.”

“Stella, we’re all angry at him, but you can’t assault someone for something like that, you could go to jail for that.”

“Watch me, Shortman, I’m not afraid to go to court.”

[randombeau]

Letter From A Thief

It feels like this year was just stolen from us. Stating the obvious, this has been a really shitty year for a myriad of reasons. This pandemic has stolen concerts, movies, and even going out to a restaurant. It’s made even an introvert like myself go out of his mind. One of the only things saving my sanity has been a handful of albums and tracks released this year that I can listen to while riding a bike or talking a walk around the neighborhood as I continue to wait for the world to come back. It’s been a long time since I’ve been back to this blog and I have to say I’m kinda pissed that I can’t add all the music videos to the list like the past, but that really keeps with the theme of disappointments in 2020. I’m gonna try not to go into these tracks with too much depth like I have in the past, but I’m not promising anything. Just remember this isn’t the best tracks of the year. It’s just the ones I enjoyed the most. Well, I’ve wasted enough time this year so let’s get to this list.

*Here’s a iTunes playlist link for those drinking the Apple Kool-Aid:

https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/top-20-songs-of-2020/pl.u-oZylaMlTAYYJz

20.     Genocidal Humanoidz - System of a Down

           It’s been 15 freaking years since SOAD released new music and damn it was too long. The group has been rumored for years to be making a new album only to dash the hopes of fans, but 2020 finally saw the band release two new tracks. Always being very political, the increased tensions and fighting between Armenia and the Republic of Artsakh have brought the group out of hiding to drop a pair of bangers. All proceeds raised from the tracks have gone straight to humanitarian needs for displaced families of the war. The lead single, Protect the Land, was the main piece of work that address the bands emotions and feelings on the current situation, but they attached the previously written Genocidal Humanoidz to bring a little more heat and boy do they bring it. Both tracks are worthy of the band they come from, but Genocidal Humanoidz just gets the blood pumping like it’s the early 2000’s again.

https://youtu.be/_74nVpLVn9Q

19.     Oh My My - Blue October

           Blue October? Aren’t they just a one-hit wonder? Well kinda, as they only pushed into the mainstream stratosphere with their self-destructive anthem “Hate Me” in 2006. There have been a few gems here and there, but nothing that would really catch most people’s ears. However, this new release just has a bouncy infectious beat that draws you in. Just one of those tracks that makes a long car ride feel not that long. In a year that was filled with very little to feel good about this was a nice little bright spot.

https://youtu.be/IRzvkWVWmA0

18.     6 Feet Away - Chromeo

           So many bands tried to write songs that captured the feelings and political implications surrounding this pandemic, but nothing worked as well as the funky beats and soothing vocals of David "Dave 1" Macklovitch and Patrick "P-Thugg" Gemayel as they weave a tail of love, attraction, and social responsibility. There are so many clever lyrics that are laced through this jam it’s impressive how easy it’s also to just bob your head to the beat.

https://youtu.be/CPTCrqyf6os

17.     I Want More - KALEO

           While this track was dropped before the pandemic was in full swing it encapsulates a feeling that a lot of people are experiencing because of it. The singer expresses this longing for emotional connection he is missing, but it’s not nearly as depressing as it sounds. The bluesy track manages to portray a sense of hopefulness that even though this connection is currently missing you feel that he will find it and somehow things will be alright. I think that’s a sentiment everyone wants to share in.

https://youtu.be/iKd4diJRkPo

16.     Cyr - Smashing Pumpkins

           The Smashing Pumpkins, basically Billy Corgan at this point, have not been at the top of their game in a long time and while the album doesn’t offer a lot of praise, this track harkens back to the Cure/Depeche Mode sounds of the Smashing Pumpkins past. Easy listening synth lines drive the track forward and while the conclusion it pushes towards isn’t exciting the journey to get there is enjoyable.

https://youtu.be/2AN_GRWlU7k

15.     Red Skies (feat. Dr. Disrespect) - J + 1

           I know, let me explain. First, I’ll admit I’ve been stuck inside for most of this year working from home and I’ve been watching a little too much YouTube and Twitch streams, but dammit is Dr. Disrespect entertaining to watch. This Magnum P.I. mustache, Mel Gibson Lethal Weapon mullet sporting dude just has that je ne sais quoi. That being said, this little track feels like it was plucked right out of the 1980’s or at least from the soundtrack of that cool ass Ryan Gosling film ‘Drive’. The melodic synths that push the song through its sub 3-minute play time just vibe so well that when the guitar comes in the bridge it’s like you’re taking a neon trip to another time. I just love it, sorry not sorry.

https://youtu.be/CakgCPl3mlE

14.     Ohms - Deftones

           Need me some Deftones, simple as that. Chino and company have delivered an album filled the aggressiveness of a 16-year-old. I’ll admit I didn’t gel with the whole album as much as previous entries, but this title track is a joy to listen to. The speedy guitar riffs and how the track itself just continues to pick up steam as it blazes toward the end is worth the price of entry in itself.

https://youtu.be/KUDbj0oeAj0

13.     Phobia - Nothing But Thieves

           It’s a known story that on Nirvana’s breakout album, ‘Nevermind’, the band was having a hard time recording the track ‘Lithium’ because Dave Grohl kept speeding the song up to a breakneck pace so they brought in a click track for him to stay on the correct pace. As Dave tells it, having to play to a click track is like having the human part of you just ripped out. In this track, it sounds like the band takes that click track and throws it out the fucking window around the 1:45 mark because this song builds and builds toward a manic conclusion that finishes with an orgasmic ending and if that’s not a human feeling I don’t know what is. In the words of 20-year-old, this track is a fucking banger.

https://youtu.be/vQThlhgiysw

12.     The Adults are Talking - The Strokes

           Honestly, this entire Strokes album could fill this list. This was my favorite album of the year and I could sit and listen to the whole thing front to back without skipping a track. That doesn’t happen a whole lot. This upbeat opener just sets the stage for an album that feels fresh and peppy. That’s saying something because most of the tracks are hitting around the 5-minute mark yet it never feels like it. The chorus is catchy, the verses are esoteric, and the track goes through several different instrumental shifts that it never gets boring or bogged down. Also, a highlight is Julian’s falsetto, which is actually really great. This track just paved the way for an album that I’d be listening to a lot.

https://youtu.be/ewOPQZZn4SY

11.     Caution - The Killers

           I’ve been listening to The Killers since 2004 when a friend gave me a copy of their debut album. Been a fan since then and while a lot of what they’ve released in the 2010’s has been a lot of hit or miss, there is always a few catchy gems in each album. This is certainly one of them. The track does lean on some of those Springsteen feelings that the band has become known for, but there’s no denying that The Killers can make some great heartland rock songs. Essentially, that’s what this song is falling back on. Brandon Flowers sings charismatically about how this woman protagonist isn’t going to follow the safe path traveled and she’s gonna throw caution to the wind and follow her dreams. It’s a track with an uplifting story and it’s got some great searing guitar riffs. I’m a simple man, I don’t need much.

https://youtu.be/WrpBgN_iUnA

10.     JU$T (feat. Pharrell Williams & Zack de la Rocha) - Run The Jewels

           It is amazing how smooth this track is because it dropped just as all the BLM and racial injustice issues started really gaining traction this last year like they wrote it the day it dropped. A song with a lyrical commentary on the unjust economic system in our county really hits home at the point in time that it was needed come out. Not only does this track have something to say, it also delivers its message in a slick way. El-P and Killer Mike breath fire, as they usually do, but the addition of Zack de la Rocha of Rage Against the Machine fame is really the cherry on top. The last time RTJ collaborated with Zack was for the amazing ‘Close Your Eyes (And Count to F**k)’, which was an amazing social commentary on the senseless violence between cops and minorities. This new track hits home just as hard.

https://youtu.be/32hUIGnMpOY

9.     Must Stop (feat. Sarah Barthel of Phantogram)

           Give me a duet between a male and female singer, lyrics about their lack of self-worth, and constantly being emotionally hurt and you’ve got a hit ballad. Alright, I’ve just broken down this track to its most basic elements and if you didn’t know I could have easily been talking about ‘Somebody I Used to Know’ by Goyte. Still, it’s an contagious track that has been stuck in my head since it dropped in October.

https://youtu.be/wNeyh_pfd8Q

8.     Think About Things - Daði Freyr

           This is the second Icelandic group to end up on my top song list this year and I blame social media for this one. This song was so catchy and the TikTok videos surrounding it made me laugh that it just ear-wormed its way into my head. The beat is so catchy and the background vocals are these heavenly voices that it’s hard not to tap your foot in beat with it. Also, one point of interest is the music video feels like it took the awkwardness right out of Napoleon Dynamite. That’s not a bad thing.

https://youtu.be/VFZNvj-HfBU

7.     Save Your Tears - The Weeknd

           I’m just gonna start by saying The Weeknd got freaking shafted at the Grammys this year. This is my favorite album he’s put out since I downloaded the ‘House of Balloons’ mix tape in 2011 and the best direction change for an artist in the last decade. The introduction of the 80’s synths and groovy basslines are so contagious that the internet roar from the lack of any acknowledgement from the academy was completely justified in my eyes. This track in particular features a shimmering melody as Abel bears his relationship failings. The opening bassline is more addictive than the cocaine Abel sung about on ‘Can’t Feel My Face’. It’s simply a well-made and beautiful piece of pop music. And if you ask why ‘Blinding Lights’ isn’t on my list it’s because it dropped as a single in 2019 and it’s already on that list.

https://youtu.be/XXYlFuWEuKI

6.     Lost in Yesterday - Tame Impala

           Some songs make my top lists for reasons that don’t necessarily have anything to do with how the song is constructed. While this track from Tame Impala is certainly catchy it makes it so far up my list for another reason. Kevin Parker echoes the nostalgia of old memories and how even the bad ones turn into good ones after enough time goes by. This track dragged up memories of driving 50+ miles in the wrong direction with my best friend as we made our way to Havasu. That was a shitty experience that turned into one of the fondest memories I have of a friend that’s no longer around to make more of those memories with. The song asks, “Does it help to get lost in yesterday” and I can answer this one very clearly. Yes, yes it does.

https://youtu.be/utCjuKDXQsE

5.     At the Door - The Strokes

           This is the most stripped back The Strokes have ever been. They tried something in this vain back with ‘Call Me Back’ on their album Angles, but not to this result. Typically, the vocals are layered behind a wall of guitars, bass, and distortion, but here Julian’s vocals are laid bare and it rightfully calls more attention to the emotions of the song. Emotions are what you really must hold onto in a Strokes song because like the previous entry, these lyrics are shrouded in metaphors. It certainly doesn’t take away from the track because the feeling of dread and being unable to escape comes across clearly as the heavy synths propel you forward. When the bridge finally comes in with its angelic vocals and 70’s induced sound waves it’s just a pleasure to listen to.

https://youtu.be/9CAz_vvsK9M

4.     No Time to Die - Billie Eilish

           Trying to follow singers Adele and Sam Smith can’t be an easy task, but especially following them in singing the opening number to the next Bond film. Thinking of singers that could fill those shoes I struggle to understand how the pop sensation Billie Eilish came to be the one producers turned to, but damn does it work. The melody is quintessential Bond. The horns, the background strings, and orchestral flourishes are all tried and true parts of a Bond song, but Eilish surprisingly works well in those confines and even reaches beyond her normal range in the backend of the track to show us she’s more than the whisper quiet singer we typically hear. There is still a lot here that is classic Eilish and it does change the normal Bond track from these high soaring ballads into something I’d say is more noir and moodier. I think the best description would be to call this a PB and chocolate accident. I didn’t think they’d go together, but they really do.

https://youtu.be/BboMpayJomw

3.     Dragonball Durag - Thundercat

This song is like being soulfully harmonized by a R&B group in front of a fire, but the fire is coming from a dumpster. There is some amazing basslines coming out of this track and Thundercat marriages them perfectly to some truly funny lines that had me chuckling while I grooved along with the song. The vocal delivery is perfect and it brought back memories of my #2 song of 2016, Childish Gambino’s ‘Redbone’. I can certainly use more of these groovy tracks in my life.

https://youtu.be/ormQQG2UhtQ

2.     Ode to the Mets - The Strokes

Like I said way back over there, The Strokes album could have filled my entire list, but this ending track takes the number 2 spot on this year’s list. The closing ballad goes through a roller coaster of melodic changes while keeping the tonal feeling of disappointment towards something or someone remains constant. Others have tried to decipher exactly what is being said and it’s always different. I think it’s up to the listener to determine and it’s different for everyone. We’ve all got someone or something we love, but continues to come up short. I think the best thing about this track is how it’s able to build a sense of urgency, but still end up in a quiet place but the end. Sort of like the ending of The Graduate. Yeah, this song is the end of The Graduate. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

https://youtu.be/BjC0KUxiMhc

1.     Run - Joji

There is a pitch perfect clarity to Joji that he never displayed before. Let’s be clear here, this is not a classically trained singer. This is a former crass YouTuber that has somehow belted out the most beautiful ballad this year for me. This really came out of the proverbial left field and actually shocked me. While previous works have relied on R&B and keyboard hooks, this track features an electric guitar that is woven through the track, but as the bridge comes the guitar flies into an amazing solo performance and builds and builds with a wail as Joji comes in for the finish with “I know you’ve not in love”. This is a dark morose track that fills the room with a vague sadness and the soaring guitar finish is just the high this low needs. I absolutely loved it.

https://youtu.be/P2YYk-oZFyI

[noelmu]

MONTH IN REVIEW 1/1/18 - 2/3/18

Last year about this time, I pledged that I was going to do a better job of keeping this Tumblr updated, while admitting (humblebragging?) that I’d become too busy to the write little weekly essays in this space that I’d penned previously. But as 2017 wore on, I started getting too busy on the weekends even to do a links roundup, with minimal commentary. So as the new year began, I considered abandoning this Tumblr altogether.

But my business cards have this web address on it, and for the few potential employers who might someday come here to see a comprehensive roundup of my work, I should keep making an effort to collect what I’ve done. I may only do it once a month, but I intend to keep it going.

So here’s everything I’ve written this year so far, including two fairly comprehensive looks at what i saw at the Sundance Film Festival. Please read! There are some good movies coming out soon, and (based on the assignments I’ve already been getting) another productive year head.,

The A.V. Club Lady Bird will likely get a lot of Oscar love… but how about in the editing category?

The Los Angeles Times  Movie Review: Supernatural thriller Devil’s Gate lurches from jolt to jolt Movie Review: Milo Ventimiglia's in good company in the diverting melodrama Madtown Movie Review: Horror remake Inside maintains chills Movie Review: Pulpy Acts Of Violence uses a dash of Bruce Willis and a pinch of Mike Epps to get the job done Movie Review: Horror icons Robert Englund and Lin Shaye can't save 'The Midnight Man Movie Review: A wicked premise and unhinged Nicolas Cage release submerged parental horrors in Mom And Dad Movie Review: Horror movie Living Among Us regrettably marks one of John Heard's last roles Movie Review: Vintage cheesiness of Wastelander not worth the slog New In Home Entertainment: It tapped into Stephen King's special brand of horror New In Home Entertainment: Blade Runner 2049 demands a lot from audiences, but the rewards are rich New In Home Entertainment: Last Flag Flying isn't typical Richard Linklater fare New In Home Entertainment: Only The Brave is old-fashioned — in a good way

The New York Times 12 Shows We’ll Be Talking About in February

Rolling Stone How David Letterman Just Reinvented the TV Talk Show – Again 50 Most Anticipated Movies of 2018 (I wrote about a dozen of these) 30 Most Anticipated TV Shows of 2018 (I wrote about a half-dozen of these)

The Verge Amazon’s Electric Dreams is more optimistic about the future than Black Mirror

Vulture TV Review: The Good Place Season 2 Episode 9: Boom, Roasted TV Review: The Good Place Season 2 Episode 10: There Goes The Neighborhood TV Review: The Good Place Season 2 Episode 11: Exit Through The Gift Shop TV Review: The Good Place Season 2 Episode 12: The People’s Court TV Review: The Good Place Season 2 Episode 13: Hot Diggity Dog! Why Did The Good Place Hide So Many Wizard of Oz References in Last Week’s Episode? Our 7 Biggest Questions After The Good Place Season Finale

The Week How the biggest movies of Sundance 2018 went small What the best movies of Sundance 2018 had in common

[docholligay]

November Schedule for naughty children

Greetings, Followers Of The Holligay! This is your friendly neighborhood Jet Wolf, coming to you LIVE from Stumptown. Why me and not Doc? In recent conversation, we uncovered certain duties that we each hate but which the other loves (or at least doesn't mind). Me, I detest making my monthly schedule. Holligay, however, hates posting about It. One quick change of tasks later, and here I am with a schedule I didn't have to make, and a lot of awesome shit to tell you about next month!

Let's start by saying if you haven't become Doc's patron yet, you should. You know all that ass-kicking writing she does? THERE'S MORE ON THE PATREON. More than that, you know you're supporting an indy creator putting out the kind of quality content the world needs. I KNOW YOU TUMBLR THIS IS YOUR KIND OF GAY SHIT

Plug done, let's talk about NOVEMBER, because holy shit.

We kick off on Friday, 3 November with Bad Lesbian Advice (Patreon exclusive), Doc's monthly chat where, on top of us just talking about whatever the fuck, you can send her questions of all stripes to be answered live. And this month, it's with special guest lesbians, Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW SHE'S GOING TO PULL THIS OFF BUT I KNOW I AM NOT MISSING THIS SHIT

Here on the main blog, Sunday, 5 November kicks off a new monthly feature, Holligay Hates Everything! For a taste of what you can expect, check out Doc's absolutely hysterical liveblog of the penultimate NGE episode. The final vote on the subject is yet to come, but the finalists are Crystal episode 7, Crystal episode 30, Sailor Moon dub episode 86, and the first episode of Evangelion. Whichever of these wins, it'll be fucking glorious.

Wednesday, 8 November, we'll see a sponsored liveblog, another new addition to the schedule. Doc's first will be coming in just a few days, and if you've been following her Utena liveblogs, you already have a taste of the feast ahead. (And if there's something you'd like to sponsor for a Holligay liveblog, check the Patreon! There may be a spot you can claim, you lucky bastard.)

Speaking of Utena liveblogs, Holligay's adventures at Rose Dick High continue on Friday and Saturday, 10 and 11 November. I can't say much to them personally since I'm unable to follow along for spoilers, BUT I AM INTENSELY JEALOUS OF THOSE OF YOU WHO CAN READ THESE. I see enough flurry of blocked activity on my dash to know I'm missing out, so fuck each and every one of you.

Also on Saturday, 11 November, @anonnatsfan​ will be sponsoring a livestream of The Game for all patrons (Patreon exclusive). This is an often overlooked psychological thriller that Holligay's never seen, which should be a grand fucking time. I AM EXCITED.

A busy weekend continues with a livestream of a to-be-determined classic Sailor Moon musical, open to all patrons (Patreon exclusive). It's arguable that the myus are where Doc's heart truly knows peace, and these streams are among my favourites. From the gay vampire disco to Mamonaise, we always have a hilarious, amazing time. Mark the date: Sunday, 12 November!

Monday, 13 November, we'll have another TBD sponsored liveblog. MAYBE YOURS?? Head over to the Patreon and see if there are any spots left! RUN YOU FOOLS

One liveblog definitely in-progress is Madoka, that kooky, fun-loving, anime! OH KYUBEI YOU SCAMP. We're up to Episode 4, but you can get it as well as the three previous episodes as an exclusive for being Holligay's patron. She has MUCH to say, and so this one will be happening Tuesday and Wednesday, 14-15 November. (Patreon exclusive)

Not going to fuck with you here, Doc's gaming streams are some of my favourite shit on earth. She's currently playing Bioshock Infinite, and it has every single installment has been a fucking GOLDMINE. From her absolutely incredible insight into the time period, her delight at the alternate history, her engagement with the world and the gameplay (she screamed last installment, kids, LEGIT SCREAMED AND IT WAS THE GREATEST THING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE), and her running commentary with "Liz", you are sincerely missing out if you aren't part of these. Bioshock continues next month, on Thursday, 16 November. (Patreon exclusive)

Jesus wept, another sponsored liveblog? Friday, 17 November, and if you hurry, it could be yours!

Tuesday, 21 November we have Holligay's monthly cooking livestream. These chats are so low-key and enjoyable, where we just hang out, watch Doc cook, ask questions, shoot the shit, and generally just have a great time. Often includes previews of whatever Tracer shit she's bought recently! (Patreon exclusive)

And then after that my ass is up in Montana for Thanksgiving, so you're on your own.

Also in all this, we have writing (both fiction and non-) that goes up nowhere but Patreon, another installment of the How To Be A Useful Lesbian video series, the Haruviews which are SCREAMINGLY hilarious in-character reviews of the finest shitty food by Haruka Tenoh (this month: HOT POCKETS), Witten Wednesdays, and assorted other good gay shit you can't get anywhere else.

SHE WORKS HARD DOES MY LESBIAN AND YOU WANT TO HELP MAKE HER WORK HARDER

All coming to you in November!

[pastpatientlywaitingforimagines]

The Universe (Lin x Reader) Soulmate AU Platonic

WC: 4185 (I don’t think I’ve ever written a one shot this long before)

A/N: I’m basing this off of a fic I read a little bit ago that had this same AU. I thought the idea was great so I wrote my own fic with it. For clarification, Writing will always be italicized, and Lin’s will always be bolded. I’m really proud of this one!

When Lin turned 20, he received a notebook in the mail. It was red and spiral bound, looking pristine as notebooks of the same kind did when you first bought them. This notebook wasn't for the countless lectures left in Lin's college career. Instead, it gave him a form of communication with his soulmate. The pages were blank, meaning Lin had turned 20 first. There was no way of knowing who was on the other side until they were in possession of their own notebook.

Lin sat down with his nicest pen and wrote the first entry.

Dear Soulmate,

Looks like I'm the first to turn 20, though I can't wait to make your acquaintance. I don't know how this works, since I’ve never had a soulmate notebook before. Then again, neither have you so how are either of us to know what is the right or wrong way to do this? I guess I'll start by just telling you about myself.

My family is Puerto Rican, and consists of my sister, my parents, and myself. I've lived in the same neighborhood my whole life, and I love it so much I'm writing a musical about it. I guess I should mention that I write musicals. I also make mixtapes. When you finally see this, I’ll make you a mixtape if you want. I assume you like music, otherwise we wouldn’t be soulmates. Or would we? I don’t know how this works. Have I said that?

I can’t wait to learn more about you!

Siempre,

Lin

Lin knew the rules. You weren’t allowed to say your address, your phone number, or anything that would allow the other person to find you by looking you up. The only thing you were allowed to say was your first name, trusting The Universe would bring you together when the time was right. It always happened eventually. If you disobeyed the rules, the government would confiscate your notebook and burn it. Then you would never find your soulmate, so most people tried to avoid breaking the rules.

Every night, Lin would write an entry describing his day to his soulmate. After two years of entries ranging in length from a paragraph to a page, he finally got a response.

The note was in pencil, scribbled onto the page in unique handwriting, the handwriting of Lin's Soulmate.

Dear Lin.

I'd apologize for being 2 years behind, but I didn't control when I was born so tough luck. Thanks so much for the daily updates, I spent all afternoon reading them. Do you ever sleep? Seems like you're a workaholic, but maybe I'm just making assumptions. I don’t know how this works either, so I guess I’ll just tell you about myself.

My favorite color is green, I have a cat that’s so fat I can barely pick him up, I eat peanut butter like it’s my job. That would be a really cool job, I’m not gonna lie. It would pay for all the peanut butter I eat. My for real job is as a barista at a local coffeeshop, but I don’t like coffee. I really like Christmas an abnormal amount, but my family isn’t religious. I just like the commercial happiness of it. Gift giving is my jam. I’m currently in college and I have a fridge in my room but it’s always empty. Whether it’s because I eat all my food as soon as I buy it or because I don’t buy food that goes in the fridge, the world will never know. I’m sure we’ll get to know more about each other through this notebook, but I think this is good enough for now.

Best,

(Y/N)

Lin was ecstatic. After two years of watching his friends communicate with who was destined to be the love of their life, Lin had finally communicated with his own. He wrote two whole pages of response that night, waiting for a reply.

Unfortunately, his reply didn't come until the morning. A simple Sorry I fell asleep graced the page. Lin watched in awe as letters appeared on the page next to the apology.

I stand by what I said before. You’re definitely a workaholic. I don’t really like writing, if I’m going to be completely honest. I’m going to draw you a picture of my facial expression instead. On an alien.

Lin laughed out loud as he watched the doodle appear, covering half of the page.

That was weird, sorry.

Lin scribbled his reply in a margin, where it would be out of the way of anything his soulmate was about to write.

It wasn’t weird, I promise.

What are you doing today Soulmate? You haven’t told me yet.

I have meetings this morning about my musical, they’re finally staging it!

WOW THAT’S SO COOL! WORLD, MY SOULMATE IS AMAZING!

You do realize we’re the only ones who see this? Lin added a winky-face drawing, hoping his teasing manner wouldn’t be lost in translation.

You’re my soulmate. You’re supposed to be “my whole world” or some crap like that. The only thing I know about this is what I’ve heard from my parents. They’re stupidly in love. I just don’t get how you can just be ok with falling in love with someone because The Universe says so. And who’s saying that it’s not just the government controlling this? They monitor everything to make sure we don’t mess with The Universe but what if they just randomly paired us together and we have nothing in common?

Well, I’ve learned a bit about Soulmates as I was waiting two years for you to show up. (Sorry I’m a baby appeared in the margin next to where Lin was writing) Even if we were randomly paired, have you ever heard about a Soulmate pair that hasn’t worked out? And everyone ends up meeting their soulmates, without fail. There’s no way the government could facilitate that. There’s too many people and humans are very unpredictable. But if you’re so worried about not knowing if we’re right for each other, let’s just take this slow.

You know what really pisses me off?

What?

Please don’t hate me.

I won’t.

I hate the people who jump right into relationships with their soulmates. I have a friend who turned 20 four months ago and she and her soulmate have already planned their wedding. I’m invited, so are you.

Well I guess I need to find a tie. And I promise I’ll wait five months to plan our wedding. Lin paused for comedic effect. Just kidding, like I said, we can take it slow. We can wait until we meet in person, we could wait until after that even. Don’t worry, we have a lifetime together.

You say that like it’s a good thing, wait until you really get to know me. Lin could tell from (Y/N)’s joking manner that the serious conversation was over and they were all good.

They continued to write to each other every day, but unlike many people they both knew who wrote like pen-pals, Lin and (Y/N) wrote as if they were having a conversation over an instant messenger. The only exception to this would be late at night, when Lin was working on writing music. (Y/N) would usually be asleep (she did that a lot) so Lin would combat any writer’s block he had by writing about anything and everything for her to read in the morning.

Senioritis is hitting me hard this morning Lin scribbled on a fresh page, writing the date in large numbers at the top.

Same Lin laughed at (Y/N)’s response, glancing at the time on his phone and knowing she probably just woke up so her brain wasn’t functioning well yet.

When’s graduation, Grandpa?

26 days, not that I’m counting

I hope we don’t meet before then. I don’t think I’ll be able to sit through another graduation, not even my own. (Y/N) was the youngest of 7 children, all of whom had graduated both high school and college and in some cases, Grad school. She had definitely been to her fair share of graduations.

I don’t know what you’re talking about, Pomp and Circumstance is my favorite song!

You’ve given me too many mixtapes to claim that Pomp and Freaking Circumstance is your favorite song. Lin was about to write a reply when he noticed the time.

Gotta go, gonna be late.

Run Forrest, Run!

Lin heeded her advice, grabbing his backpack and dashing out of his dorm room. When he got to class he slid into his seat just as the professor was about to begin the lecture. Lin pulled out a pen, then unzipped his backpack. The only thing there was a piece of sheet music. Lin remembered taking his notebook for notes out at home, where it was probably sitting on his desk. The only thing Lin had with him at this moment in time was his Soulmate notebook on the table in front of him. Sighing, Lin clicked his pen.

Don’t hate me.

Too bad, I already do. What’s up?

I left my lecture notebook in my room. This is all I have with me.

What class are you in? The good one?

Nope.

Ugh. How long is this class?

An hour and a half.

I’m going to take a nap. Good luck!

Enjoy your nap. I’ll be here suffering.

Don’t try to guilt me into staying

I’m not, just stating the facts.

Ok fine. I’ll stay and keep you company. You better take good notes though. I’m quizzing you after.

Lin had to stifle a laugh as he scrambled to catch up on the notes. As he wrote about the history of theater, (Y/N) would circle things he wrote with her pencil (always pencil for her, always pen for Lin) and add her own commentary. Sometimes she’d make jokes or puns, sometimes she’d draw a doodle. Sometimes she’d make up her own facts that were obviously untrue but much more entertaining than the monotonous lecturer in the front of the room.

Thanks for the help Lin scribbled in the margin as the professor wrapped up class.

Whatever helps my dear soulmate succeed in life

Heading to lunch now. I’ll talk to you later!

Smell ya later :)

You’re weird

It’s true though. When we finally meet, which constitutes as later, I will smell you.

I’m holding you to that. Lin closed his notebook and went to meet a friend for lunch, as planned.

“How are things with the soulmate going?” Chris asked as Lin sat down with his sandwich.

“She’s amazing. Witty, funny, takes a lot of naps.”

“So the opposite of you?” Chris asked with a grin.

“Nah man, like I said, she’s great,” Lin retorted.

“Are you in love with her yet?” Chris asked. Lin thought about it. He and (Y/N) had been communicating for almost a year now, but he wouldn't say he was in love with her. Sure he cared a lot about her, but it was never romantic love feelings. Lin festered over Chris’ question until he had time to write to (Y/N) later that afternoon.

Are we in love?

What answer do you want to hear?

Chris asked me if we were in love and I didn’t know what to tell him.

Because I said I didn’t want to rush into things or because you don’t think we’re in love but it’s abnormal for soulmates who have been in contact with each other for this long?

Get out of my head

If I’m going to be completely honest, I don’t think I’m in love with you. I love you, I know way more about you than any normal human being should, and I can’t wait to meet you because you are hands down my best friend, but I don’t think we’re in love. Like calling you my boyfriend would be weird because you’re just my Lin. You’re just my strange best friend. :)

Lin was relieved. He shouldn’t have worried so much about it, since he and (Y/N) were soulmates, obviously she’d feel the same way.

I’m glad we’re on the same page.

Do you think it’ll stay this way? Or will we one day realize that we’re pining for each other?

I would be ok with this being it. But I wonder if that’ll change once we meet in person.

I guess we’ll find out. Why don’t they write manuals about these things?

You may have not gotten a manual, but you got a Lin-Manuel ;)

Shut up you dork.

You love me

I do

The topic didn’t come up again until a few months later, a week before (Y/N)’s 21st birthday.

Can I tell you something?

I was just about to take a nap but sure go ahead, I’m awake now.

I met a girl today.

I met a girl today too. She’s my lab partner for the next two labs and she’s really annoying.

No I mean like a girl girl.

There are lots of girls, Lin. Be more specific please.

She asked me on a date.

Was she cute?

… yes

Did you say yes????

… yes

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY LINNY IS GROWING UP

Wait you’re not mad?

How can I be? Some people date before they get their notebook. And you and I are weird since it’s been a year and a half without either of us drawing pictures of sexual fantasies of each other (my friend does that with her SM…. she showed me… it was gross.) I’m not surprised you found a girl attractive.

You’re not jealous?

Nope. Why did she ask you out though? Younger lady? You’re almost 24.

Don’t remind me how old I am. Her soulmate died in a car accident three years ago.

Oof. That’s rough. Please don’t die on me. I don’t think I would survive without a friend who is obligated to like me :)

I’ll try not to

When’s your date?

Next week, we’re going out for coffee.

LIN HOW AWKWARD WOULD IT BE IF YOU ENDED UP GOING ON A DATE TO MY COFFEE SHOP???????

With you yelling like that, it would be very awkward. I hope we don’t meet for the next two years.

How could you say such a thing?! I’m the one person who makes you “feel complete”, you said so yourself. You want to meet me as much as I want to meet you.

You don’t want to meet me, you said it like six times last week.

That’s because you were being a butt.

You’re always a butt

So are you, that’s why we’re soulmates

Touche

I gotta go to work now. Let me know if mystery girl texts you ;)

Her name’s Vanessa

That’s pretty! How does she feel about you having a soulmate?

She wanted to know if I was cheating on you by saying yes. I explained our situation and she went with it I guess.

Cool Beans

Don’t you have to go to work?

Yeah but my boss won’t fire me. I’m the only employee who doesn’t abuse the free coffee employee discount. Without me, he’d be bankrupt by now.

I’m glad you have such good job security

I won’t keep this job forever. Have I mentioned I hate coffee? I don’t wanna come home smelling like it every day, but I do.

Go to work, we’ll talk later

Love you loser

Love you too weirdo

Lin was up late working once again when the clock struck midnight, signifying (Y/N)’s birthday. Lin stopped what he was doing, turned to a fresh page, wrote the date at the top (and drew some balloons for good effect), then carefully penned the lyrics to Happy Birthday.

Happy Friendaversary Lin :)

Happy birthday, (Y/N). How does it feel being old now?

I’ll never be as old as you, so I don’t feel too old. Plus I wasn’t born until like 7PM, I’m technically still in my 20th sun rotation

Only you would call your age a “sun rotation”

That’s what it is, right?

Yes but it’s weird

I’m weird, you’re weird, we’re soulmates. How many times do we have to go over this Lin?

Many more times, since your weirdness always amazes me.

Cute. How did your date go?

It was fantastic. Vanessa is so smart and beautiful.

Lin and Vanessa sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G

Are you sure you’re turning 21 and not 12?

Of course!

Lin didn’t even notice the next few years passing by, with ‘Heights’ opening and his constant conversations with (Y/N).

How are things with Vanessa?

Fantastic, as always.

Good. If she hurts you, Imma find you and beat her up for you.

Wow, thanks

Anything for my soulmate, bro

Do you ever think we’re going to meet?

Wow, getting to the deep questions early today

I’m serious (Y/N). How many soulmates have taken over seven years to meet?

… none

Lin sighed. Vanessa, who had just finished washing the dishes in their shared apartment, came over to him and started rubbing his tense shoulders.

“What’s the matter, love?”

“I’m just talking with (Y/N) and we realized that we may never meet.”

“Soulmates always meet. The Universe has it all figured out,” Vanessa reassured him.

“But we’re not normal. It defies everything in The Universe that I’m in love with you and not her, yet here we are.” Vanessa was silent.

“Are you worried that I’ll leave you if I meet her?” Lin asked.

“Yes and no. I’m not worried if you continue your friendship with how things are now. I wouldn’t have stayed with you this long if I thought you were secretly in love with each other. But I am worried that once you meet a switch will flip and you’ll fall for her in an instant.”

Lin felt guilt wash over him, even though the scenario was just theoretical. He held Vanessa tight in his arms that night, his soulmate notebook abandoned on the counter.

When he returned to it the following morning, there was a list of messages from (Y/N)

Where’d you go?

Fine, ignore me, that’s ok

What if we never meet, Lin?

What if we go our whole lives with this messed up pen-pal relationship?

None of my friends use their books anymore Lin. They’ve all found someone. They’re all married with 2.5 kids. I get invited to weddings and baby showers and school fundraisers and every time I bring my stupid notebook along because it makes me feel like you’re there with me. Half the time I end up leaving early because I’m too encompassed by our notes to pay attention. I hate that we’re so far apart.

Lin didn’t realize he was holding his breath as he read (Y/N)’s note, absorbed in the shape of the words. Lin was so familiar with her handwriting that he could tell her hand was shaking as she wrote.

I still don’t want a relationship with you though. I don’t want a relationship with anyone, and that’s the problem. You’re so happy with Vanessa, I can tell. And I can’t picture myself kissing you or marrying you or having your babies. All I want is to take on the world with you as my best friend instead of just some words in a notebook.

Goodnight Lin

I love you.

Lin scribbled back a lengthy message, reassuring her that he loved her too and that The Universe had a plan for them. (Y/N) replied with a string of curse words about The Universe. Eventually she calmed down and things went back to normal.

You asked Vanessa to marry you.

The words came out of nowhere. Lin had been working on a new song so he had penned a quick hello to his soulmate. His pen stopped where he placed it on the page. He didn’t know how to respond to (Y/N)’s statement.

Cat got your pen Lin? I know you better than anyone in the world. We’ve told each other things that we’ve never told anyone else because we understand each other. I know you’re thinking about it, don’t even try to lie.

How did you know?

You were really nervous last night, I could tell. You said you were going out to dinner with her tonight, so I figured that was it.

Just one question

WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME??

I was worried you’d think I was rushing things

You’ve known her almost as long as you’ve known me. I wouldn’t call that rushing.

I wanted to wait until we met so I could invite you.

So I could give the best toast and outdo your best man? I think you made the smart choice in getting married before you meet me.

You’re impossible

When haven’t I been?

Never :)

You’ll never guess what happened to me today.

What?

I met this kid, he’s like 8 years old, and he had a soulmate notebook.

They starting them younger now?

No, I guess he just met his soulmate before he turned 20. The next day he got his notebook in the mail and his soulmate did too. Right now they just draw pictures of cars and potatoes to each other for fun, but why do eight year old boys get to have their soulmate 12 years early, while I have to wait eight years for mine?

Or The Universe screwed up again, like it did for us. It’s overcompensating. That’s why you met that kid.

Wow you’re so insightful. Marry me?

Ha Ha, very funny. Now you’re really not invited to my wedding.

Good, I’d probably get really wasted anyways.

Who says I’m not getting really wasted too?

That’s why we’re soulmates!

Even through all the wedding preparations, Lin always made time to write to (Y/N). He used his soulmate notebook to take notes about cakes, tuxes, and floral arrangements. (Y/N) would give him her input, which he would use to determine his own opinion.

I swear, if I have to eat another piece of cake I’m going to throw up.

Not on the notebook please! Remember that time I spilled juice and the stain ended up on your page too? I don’t wanna see what happens with vomit.

I’ll try to hit my shoes instead

By the way, it’s a good thing I’m not invited to your wedding.

Why?

Because I got invited to a wedding the same day. One of my guy friends’ wife has to work that day, so he’s bringing me as his plus one. He said I could get wasted if I wanted, since I wouldn’t know anyone there. Seemed like too good of an opportunity to pass up.

I’m glad you’ll have something to entertain yourself so I don’t end up with another essay about why Cheddar cheese is better than American cheese.

You enjoyed that essay, don’t lie. But I will write you a speech that you have to read on my behalf at your reception. Promise?

I promise.

The day of Lin’s wedding, he awoke to a 2 page speech from (Y/N). Lin gave it a once over, deeming it appropriate for the occasion.

Break a leg loser <3

Thanks weirdo. Don’t get alcohol poisoning <3

Lin and Vanessa’s wedding was everything he dreamed it would be. The only thing missing was (Y/N), further crushing Lin’s hopes of ever meeting her. The Universe couldn’t even be kind enough to let her be at his wedding? Lin tried to keep those thoughts aside as he enjoyed his day, but the time finally came for him to read (Y/N)’s speech.

“Hi everyone. In case you didn’t know, Vanessa isn’t actually my soulmate. Her soulmate tragically passed away, and I still haven’t met mine. (Y/N) has written a very lengthy speech for me to read on her behalf, and if I don’t she will know and probably murder me in my sleep if we ever meet. So here goes,” Lin took a breath and was about to start reading when he heard a “Wait!!” come from one of the back tables. He looked up, noticing a girl around his age walking towards him, bumping into chairs, tables, and people, apologizing to everything she accidentally hit. She was wearing a blue dress, and in her hands she was tightly clutching a tattered, thick, notebook.

“Since I’m here I think I can read the speech myself,” she said as she approached where Lin was standing, giving him a giant grin. He somehow found himself by her side and enveloped her in a hug.

“I thought you would never show up,” he said.

“Funny how The Universe can work things out. Now can I read my speech?” She asked, a twinkle in her eye that Lin recognized only from pictures of himself. Lin nodded, gazing at her in awe as she began.

“Lin is by far the strangest human being I have ever known. And that’s why I love him….”

[tinymixtapes]

Live Blog: “Weird Al” Yankovic

"Weird Al" Yankovic The Apollo Theater; New York City, NY [03-23-2018] by Frank Falisi on 05-07-2018 When I stepped out into the flashbulb facade of Harlem’s Apollo Theatre from the darkness of 125th, I had two things on my mind: Weird Al and a silver Discman. You know how some school buses had a pocket-flap on the back on the seats, so you could squash after-school stuff in there? Like chilly batter in a hot waffler, snug and transforming. It went everywhere with me; I would feel a buzz in my backpack and go to check my Discman, me paranoid, the phantom sing. My parents gave me the Discman for my 10th birthday, or maybe my 12th. This’ll show him how music’s the good good stuff, they said. Or: This’ll shut him up for a while. Maybe both ages, probably both reasons. Any hopes for new quiet were dashed because the Discman had speakers on it. There was an upside-down triangle of a button square in the center and when you slid it to the right, the Discman played through headphones, like most Discmans, but when you slid it to the left, you could listen to Greatest Hits Vol. 1 by Weird Al Yankovic as loud as you and the Discman pleased. I still didn’t know that music was the good good stuff. Some days I still struggle to know that. But at 10 or 12 or 27, Weird Al presented not just an alternative sound, but a world screwed to a degree I could comprehend, or at least laugh along with. I had no language for approaching the radical disco’d horizon of “Bad” or “Beat It,” and I knew no coil of body that could welcome Madonna’s smoke future-fuck. I knew parents who fought (never terminally, ever-casually) with each other/ for their children. I knew being taken to arcades and shopping malls by mom or dad at various times to distract us from the fighting. Sometimes we went to arcades and shopping malls when no one was fighting. We drove around neighborhoods that weren’t ours looking at how big the houses were; in certain winters we ogled the same houses’ light displays, and my dad would tap the wheel. One year, someone stole the light-up snowman from in front of our town house. How do you stand that stab of useless suburban hate without laughing? It’s time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys/ It’s time to let the bedbugs bite. Here was dancing with laughing, serious attention to pop art’s penchant for transforming us while discarding all the noxious toxicities that sometimes showed up in art. From the suburbs, Yankovic offered a weird world that was no stranger than the one I goldfish’d around in in backyards most days: Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA/ buy some sensible shoes and a Chevrolet/ and party ‘til you’re broke and they drive you away, it’s OK/ you can dare to be stupid. I had seen Weird Al play live before. It was my first experience with live music ever once, a school bus flap-space where your heart jumps up out your eyes and won’t stop. I had never been to the Apollo before. My fingers were suitably spacey-feeling as they flitted along the spackled walls. Up in the rafters, out of our grubby reach, were true sweet ghosts. The Apollo is a sharp, shiny gem that still sounds like James Brown even if you’ll have to walk past lots of Buffalo Wild Wings to get into it these days. Emo Phillips, looking and sounding like someone had stuffed an animated goose into a chest in the 80s and was just folding it back into daily life, was wrapping up 20 warbled, warped minutes as me and a whole Idaho of people took our seats. Yankovic opened the set sitting on a stool playing “Dare to Be Stupid,” not as the Devo pastiche that used to bleat out of my Discman, but as a 4/4 roadhouse blues number and we, rapping our buffalo saucy fingers into claps, said “weird.” Because since the career re-focusing Running With Scissors (bought at Barnes & Noble with my mom’s 10%-off coupon after church on Sunday) a Weird Al show was replete with every cranny of oddityness. There’s lots of costume changes for Yankovic and the band, lots of video clips surprising everyone how ingrained Yankovic is in popular culture, lots of people in the Hawaiian shirts all their fathers brought back from their honeymoons; some slime creature from outer space would be forgiven for thinking it a weekly gathering of some benign and askance religious sect. But this, billed as the Ridiculously Self-Indulgent Ill-Advised Vanity Tour, was askance yet again. Yankovic and his longtime bandmates Jon “Bermuda” Schwartz, Steve Jay, Jim West, and Rubén Valtierra promised, “None of the songs you really want to hear, all of the songs you usually skip over, obscure original tunes.” Was the band exhausted at the prospect of touring a production, disheartened at not touring at all? Was it all more deconstructive jestering? Listening to Al deadpan, Burn your candle at both ends/ punch a gift horse in the mouth/ mashed potatoes can be your friend over professionally white blues riffing brought to mind something like Dylan’s reformed live cuts, but was it participatory or commentary? Next was “Close But No Cigar,” a plastic-Cake pastiche, then “Generic Blues.” “BB King once said this was one of his top-10 favorite blues songs,” Yankovic cooed cooed, smiling. “Maybe he was joking, but I’m gonna assume he wasn’t.” Jokes and reality sit in the same seat in the weird, a name we give to what we can’t regard or disregard. Yankovic and the the band laughed into “Mr. Popeil,” a cocktail of B-52’s and late-night late-stage consumerism: I need a handy appliance/ that’ll scramble an egg while it’s still inside its shell!/ (Operators are standing by/ How does that make you feel?). I’m rocking at the top of the Apollo asking, “How does that make you feel, Mark Fisher?” “When we say something is weird, what kind of feeling are we pointing to?” Fisher motions towards his book, The Weird and the Eerie, still keenly aware of how good the band on the stage at the Apollo sounds, switching gears and modes like plastic mechanicals, rude and sharp. Something like “Nature Trail to Hell,” probably, an imagined theme to an unmade movie that doesn’t let you ignore how your favorite horrors will feel serialized to eternity, IN 3D! Something like “Craiglist,” a full-on Doors rave-up that’s a better Doors song than most Doors songs, positing that the weird sale has triumphed over the sale of the weird. Yankovic swoops between Jim Morrison and Fred Schnieder, all the while pointing out the tragic hilarity of suburb-y capitalism and Saturday-morning faux prosperity and online market madness, and the weird feels fierce, mobilized. Fisher goes on, because we’re both a little wounded by “Dog Eat Dog,” impersonatory Talking Heads that flattens Byrne’s soul-seeking zen coldness into the boil-you-alive-every-day-of-your-life corporate eternity. Fisher: “I want to argue that the weird is a particular kind of perturbation. It involves a sensation of wrongness: a weird entity or object is so strange that it makes us feel that it should not exist, or at least it should not exist here.” (Like Weird Al shows at the Apollo, maybe; like suburban dad in Buffalo Wild Wings in Harlem, perhaps.) “Yet if the object is here, then the categories which we have up until now used to make sense of our world cannot be valid. The weird thing is not wrong, after all: it is our conceptions that must be adequate.” Listening to Yankovic perform these originals (not straight parodies, they simply mimic formal elements of other artists), this wrongness is especially evident. “My Own Eyes” is Foo Fighters but pushed to the side, where it isn’t grand or cool to be a rock star, just another excuse to belt the mundane; “Your Horoscope For Today” is my favorite song ever probably, a ska dagger that seems like an astrology-takedown until you realize it’s target is both blind optimism and hopelessness. You will never find true happiness/ What you gonna do, cry about it?/ The stars predict tomorrow you’ll wake up/ Do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep. “UHF” is a song 40 dimensions before Netflix or streaming services or Spotify going public, but its compass warns against all the despondency of tech taking over: Don’t you know that we control the horizontal?/ We control the vertical, too: we gonna make a couch potato out of you. Yankovic’s plastic pastiche transforms that which we love and that which we can’t bear to confront into a new universe, listenable and wobbly, hilarious and damning. His narrators are unstable (“I Remember Larry) pig-headed optimists (“Jackson Park Express”), egomaniacal (“Young, Dumb, and Ugly”), and romantic (“You Don’t Love Me Anymore”). Yankovic’s weirdness chucks warm human hope up into systems made by people that aren’t made for people. He sketches this relationship by making us recoil from the familiar, leaning in toward an alien. Fisher, again, forever: “The form that is perhaps most appropriate to the weird is montage — the conjoining of two or more things which do not belong together.” This is not to say that weirdness should and can only be distressing. Fisher continues: “The sense of wrongness associated with the weird — the conviction that this does not belong — is often a sign that we are in the presence of the new. The weird here is a signal that the concepts and frameworks which we have previously employed are now obsolete.” There’s no more time for crying over spilled milk/ Now it’s time for crying in your beer. How to dare? How to be stupid? You switch to speakers so everyone can hear it. You play “Albuquerque,” a 12-minute odyssey through the weird and the wired, a mobilization of personal weirdness into protective hope: And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an existential quandary full of loathing and self-doubt and wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence, at least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up old universe of ours there’s still a little place called Albuquerque.We laugh but what does it mean? What does it mean when Yankovic ends the regular set with a medley of all the hit parodies he said he wouldn’t play tonight, scrambled past the point of recognition, just like “Dare to Be Stupid”? Here “Eat It” is like Clapton unplugged, sapped and dragging and leading into a limp-soft jazz “Lost on Jeopardy,” a schmaltz-for-wind-chimes “Amish Paradise.” Should we recoil from the whistle-pop of “Smells Like Nirvana” — will all the sounds of our youth end decayed like this? The flamenco fart of “White and Nerdy” euthanizes toughness, while “I Love Rocky Road” sounds like we’re all just wasting our waists and place in a forever-parlor of half-off consumerism and fame-worship and misplaced e-rage. “Like a Surgeon” is a yacht-y ballad now and what? These parodies were built on the premise that they sounded familiar and used that position to suggest new realities, but now, here at the end, even that form falls away. It’s a joke and a jab; nothing is above rehearing, no perspective is sacred with plastic consciousness. If you close your eyes, the weirdness peals back the place where the thing used to be and you can see the frame of the familiar around a brilliant light leading someplace else. Then the encores, more jestering. Yankovic makes his guitar-playing debut on a deadly straight take on “Cinnamon Girl,” holding off until that famous one-note solo and then making every serious-rock-star-guitar-man face in the book. He thanks everyone again, thanks his killer band, looks up and out at the Apollo’s cavern again, and gives us “Yoda,” no jokes, just a reverend take on an irreverent classic. Does it undermine the whole evening, all the work done to undermine expectations and constrictions? It does not. We sing and dance, we think about how we didn’t know our Discmans with speakers were weird, how we didn’t know what our parents were doing but still work to love them, how we didn’t know that laughing together was always our best way towards the bright portal of better days. We, weird, walk away a little transformed and a little more open to transformation. The future’s up to you, so what you gonna do?/ Dare to be stupid. http://j.mp/2IojpJd