#{ I just don't know what we're being taxed for stuff...is it helping pay their rent in some weird way? }

[voidsentprinces]

[lastoneout]

See I kinda get where this is coming from in some regards, but the inclusion of ADHD amongst the ways people are apparently "self-infantilizing" with the use of "therapy/social justice language" makes me hesitant to take anything else it's saying seriously.

It's kinda funny to see this author, at the end of the article, claim to care about disabled rights while repeating some absurdly ableist stereotypes and talking points? There is a long history of able-bodied neurotypical society infantilizing people with disabilities, and this article points that out, but STILL not only repeats that by implying that people with ADHD are idk, what? Lying? Making excuses for ourselves? Because babies have object permanence so surely we couldn't possibly actually struggle with something like that, but goes so far as to insinuate that said societal infantilization is OUR OWN FAULT somehow and/or we're weak for complaining about our symptoms.

ADHD is a disability. Literally, it is a medical condition that severely impairs one's ability to function from day to day up to the point of literally ruining lives. And one of the most common ADHD symptoms is memory problems. And it's not just "forgetting to text our friends back", though trust me that happens, it's forgetting to pay rent, forgetting to turn the stove off, losing very important things we need for work or school, not locking our door when we leave, fucking up our taxes, missing doctors appointments and medication refills, it is not "uwu I'm a child who can't remember stuff oops" it's "oh fuck the water got shut off because I forgot where I put my mail" and "I lost my job because I forgot which day my shift was for the tenth time".

And imo there's a pretty big difference between that and not having object permanence?? I mean I know people often describe ADHD memory problems as akin to a loss of object permanence but people with ADHD aren't babies. We understand that things exist when we can't see them in a way that infants don't, we just struggle to remember things if we can't see them. Like I know that my birth certificate exists, I just cannot fucking remember where it is right now. That's why it helps to take our cabinet doors off or make magnets for our fridges so we can SEE what we have to eat. Making more of our belongings visible is a legitimate way to manage our symptoms.

Tbh it's incredibly cruel to insinuate that people with ADHD are lazy or making excuses for themselves or literally stupider than a baby because of their medical condition. People with ADHD go our entire lives being told we're faking or we could remember things if we just tried harder and since we didn't we must not care and that we're lazy and stupid, there's no goddamn reason to repeat those ableist lies and pretend they're a hot take. A disabled person struggling with their medical condition is not inherently immature. Disabled people are not immature. We are adults. We have been BEGGING for YEARS to be treated like adults and it is NOT our fault that society continues to deny us that BASIC courtesy.

(And like again at the end of the article the author SAYS AS MUCH but like?? But they keep looping back around to claiming it's still our fault?? Like please explain to me how people with ADHD and disabled people giving into our own oppressors by *checks notes* talking about the very real and debilitating symptoms of our medical conditions?? This whole thing is coming so close to making a solid point but keeps switching its blame to things that are confusing at best and literally ableist at worst. I mean hell, they say being an adult is about being kind and taking care of yourself while using a common ADHD symptom as an example of a person not acting like an adult so like, are you also saying we can't be kind or take care of ourselves unless we overcome our disability?)

And that all brings us to the main problem with this article. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, so I could believe the author just included ADHD on a whim, or didn't mean to imply all of this, but that means they weren't thinking all that hard about what including ADHD actually MEANT or how it twisted their argument, and that makes me wonder how much they were thinking about anything else they wrote. You aboslutely need to consider what you're saying when it comes to topics like this, especially if you are later going to say you care about disability rights, and because this author didn't do that they ended up repeating a lot of ableist bullshit, intentionally or not.

As for the argument that this article really is too "simple" to get into detail about something as complex as disability and ableism, well, then it just shouldn't talk about ADHD at all. One of these things is not like the other, and if they aren't going to give it the care and consideration it deserves then they should leave these topics to the people who will.

This was an interesting article to read. I think it's a little simple but still fun to skim thru.

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty good day. There was a big stressful part of the beginning but the majority of the day was very good. There was even a special surprise. And yoga.

I slept super poorly last night. I couldn't fall asleep for forever because I felt sick and nauseous and bad. And then when I did fall asleep I woke up a few times again. Air conditioner turned off in the middle of the night and James rollover next to me and I woke up just horribly uncomfortable. He wouldn't turn the air conditioning back on that because he always takes care of me. And I was able to sleep until about 7.

James was awake and told me I could keep sleeping but I didn't really want to. I wanted to lay there so I just played on my phone for a while. And then I got up. I got cleaned up and dressed and I felt okay.

I hung in my hammock for a little bit and then James told me he made a waffle. And I was like okay. And I was confused because he had asked me what I wanted for breakfast last night and I said I was going to have the avocado scramble thing I made the other day. And then he remembered that after he made the waffle and felt very bad. But it was fine. He made the thing I wanted and he had the waffle for breakfast instead.

I got the best boyfriend.

We hung out for a while and then left to go to the bus. James walked me there. And then bus proceeded not to show up for almost a half an hour. I was very frustrated. Because it was supposed to be there at 9: 30 but it didn't come until almost 9:50. And we had been there since 920. So I was very stressed out and I hate being late!! I texted Tiffany and let her know and I was just very distressed.

I was about 15 minutes late in the end. Sucks. I'm going to try to get an earlier bus tomorrow. So even if it runs late I will hopefully have the same issue. Because seriously we were three blocks away from access art and our bus driver saw someone on the street that he knew and he park the bus and got off to go have a conversation with him. I was losing my mind.

But I got there and everyone was fine. We're just lesson planning so it wasn't like I was missing anything yet but I hate being late. We all kind of bullshitted and talked for a little bit and then the teacher from holistic Life Center came.

He was a really nice guy. He told really funny stories and he was young and covered in tattoos and wearing a Orioles yoga shirt. He mostly talked about mindfulness. A little bit of yoga. And we learned a lot about breathing exercises. I felt very Vindicated and validated about the types of breathing exercises I already do with the kids when they're upset or hurt. But I learned some really interesting ones today. Specifically that I breathe wrong and I'm trying to retrain myself but it's very hard. It was very enjoyable even though I hated sitting in the folding chairs for that long. My feet don't reach the ground and it's uncomfortable.

But we also played a couple mindfulness games at the end of that was cool. Stuff that we can use in the classroom and it's awesome. I'm really glad that we were able to do that.

We had a late lunch. Marcus went down the street and got me a spring roll. Was very good. And I worked on my lesson plan. Almost out. I think I'll probably end up finishing it tomorrow. And then I'll go back in and make sure it's all good. I also think I want to use a couple other visual things for the classroom. And maybe add some tutorial images of some kind. We have tomorrow and Friday to finish lesson plans. And even with my brain breaks where I sketched tattoo ideas I still got a lot done.

While I was taking a break on my lesson plan I was looking at eBay and I got a crazy good deal on a Furby buddy. Something that I've been trying to get for 2 months now there's a little plush versions of the Furbies. I don't absolutely love them but people use them to make the long Furbies. And I'd like to try my hand at that. And I got one for $5. Usually they go for $35 to $40. I am very excited. I think I'm going to use it slightly as part of my example for my quilt making lesson. I'm going to make its belly pattern based off of Victorian crazy quilts. I'm very excited.

At 3 we finished up. We all decided on which weeks we should be teaching our lessons and when. Was decided that my quilt project would go first which makes me slightly nervous but it's probably a good idea. Because it's community building project we're going to kind of have all the kids get out there art things right away before they jump into other projects and I think that will work out nicely.

And then me and fitsum went home. His driving kind of makes me nauseous. Lot of fast speed up and then stopping. But we had a nice conversation about capitalism and its downfalls. And talked about apartments because he's moving as well. We saw a couple meet cars that we pointed out and talked about. It was a good time.

He dropped me off and I made some food. Did a couple packing things. Made a pile of the furniture and getting rid of. And just kind of hung out. Me and James were going to have dinner together but I kind of just wanted to be by myself a little bit. My dad's going to come visit this weekend and he's going to take the bed. So really these are the last couple days I'm ever going to live alone if all goes according to plan. And it feels very strange. I've lived alone for a long time. But I am excited. Nervous but excited.

I was just kind of chilling. Even though it was too humid in here to call it chilling. Playing Animal Crossing and watching videos. And then I decided to go check the mail.

I was excited because I had a package. But then I saw that there was a letter in there as well from the Minneapolis Apartment project. Which means it's from the class action settlement. Which means it's a check. When we won the settlement last year they said that we would get all of our rent back. But of course it was going to go into appeals. So we would probably just get a portion of our rent back. And honestly getting any amount of money from living in those apartments would be fine. But I was so nervous about opening this check. So he opened my package first. And it was socks! very exciting. I was looking forward to those socks. They're black and they have little hearts on them.

But I couldn't put off opening the check any longer. And I did and if I did my math right I thought about nine months worth of rent back. And the checks that this might not be the only check. That I might get more? Like after all the lawyers and fees are paid if there's anything left over there going to send another check. That's wild. And like all of my money stress. The $40 me and James got scammed out of the other day. James his bike breaking. Moving. All of it. This kind of feels like a buffer. We don't have to worry about it now. Least for a while. And I'm making more money and if he gets this job he's going to be at making more money. And even if he doesn't get this job he's going to keep looking until he does get something good. Don't have to be so stressed out and nickel-and-diming ourselves all the time. it's exciting. It feels Like the universe is telling me everything's going to be okay. That means using my white privilege to help make the lives of my neighbors and Minneapolis better is being rewarded. And that sometimes being a good person and trying to help other people does pay off in the end. And sometimes in cash.

I kind of didn't know what to say when I open the check. So I called James and let him know. And then I called my dad. We talked about taxes and he's going to check with the tax lady to make sure that I have put enough aside next year. I don't want to have an issue. But yeah it's exciting. And it was good to hear dad. He sounds a lot better. And he's looking forward to coming on Sunday and I'm looking forward to having him here. We're going to patch holes but hopefully we'll also do something else. Maybe we'll eat some good food and maybe we'll go see something interesting. Unsure of what yet but I'll figure that out.

I called Jess next to let her know. And she was very excited for me. And then I went back to packing. I brought more stuff from the basement. I broke down all of my Furby boxes. I don't know why I'm keeping them but it feels weird to throw them away. So flat in the Middle East to put them in storage. And I use the box that I have been storing them in to put kitchen stuff in. Paper towels and Ziploc bags. That one bottle of alcohol I always have. And then I took a shower. I painted my toenails and I'm just watching videos and enjoying my night.

Back to lesson planning tomorrow. And then I think falafels with James. No matter what it's going to be a good day. I can feel it. Hope you all have a good night tonight. Be kind to each other. Go out of your way for someone else. Don't expect anything in return. Good night

[mental-health-advice]

i'm 12 and i'm already worrying taxes and rent and bills and stuff. my dad's disabled and my mom won't get a job, and i don't know what we're even living off of right now - and i've tried to make money off of my drawings but i can't draw for shit and i don't feel like any art college will ever accept me, even though college is like six years away. i don't even know if i'll be able to get into college. my dad says i gotta get a scholarship but i don't know how and it's just hhHHH 1/2

on top of that, i have anxiety and depression, so that’s fun, and despite me being diagnosed with both, my parents dont belive me. they always say that i’ll grow out of it like they did or that it doesn’t matter and i hate it. they don’t think that i’m a boy, they keep calling me a she, my mom won’t get a job, we can barely pay the bills, and i can’t even help. i’m just a huge burden on them. i can’t help them and i don’t know how to help them so it’s just kinda ooF 2/2 (tag as calvin please)

Hey there Calvin!,

Thanks for sending inyour ask to mental health advice. I am really happy that you came tous for help and I hope to give you as much support as I can. Iunderstand financial worries even with being so young. It is alsovery difficult to not have parents who support you as much as theyshould. I have dealt with these issues before so I am sure that I cangive you some advice that can help you!

I believe that it isnormal to think of these issues when you are at a young age. Ithought of these things as well, probably because I was in a similarsituation financially.  The finances of your parents are not yourworries to deal with. I know that it may stress you out and you feellike you are a burden because of it but you are not. There are waysthat your parents are paying that they may not be sharing with you  .They probably just don’t want to worry you about the finances.Since they are not working though, they are probably getting incomefrom unemployment and disability, but I don’t know their situation.Paying for taxes and bills is their worry though so you don’t needto worry about that.

With all of the stressabout paying for everything the thought of college and the futuredoes probably come up more often than not. Even if you are young itis common to think of what you want to do in the future. It isdifficult though when it causes you a lot of stress. I believe thatyou will get in! I didn’t think that I would get into college whenI was younger either. I didn’t think I would get a job, go toy college, or have any idea what I wanted to do (and I still am not100% sure.) It is perfectly okay to not be sure what you want to do.Now is the time to look into what you are interested in. Be sure tojoin clubs and do your best in your classes. Colleges do like whenyou show that you tried to do well in high school so I suggestputting yourself out there during high school.

Dealing with depressionand anxiety is very difficult and you will not necessarily grow outof it. It might really help you to go to therapy or see apsychiatrist if your parents are okay with these things. You canalways request to come onto live chat if you feel that you need totalk to someone.

I wish you luck!

Contents Page 

Live Chat 

-Rachel

“All of the starshave a reason”

[zevlors-tail]

Hi sweater I kind of need some clarification help regarding comfort characters. I really don't want to start something bad so please disregard if this is bad topic. We're close in age and I also enjoy mha characters, but I'm starting to get a little nervous about being attacked for "aged up characters" even though I'm not even into smut writings really. Should I just make my space 18+ to keep myself safe? I just don't want someone angry with me for liking anime characters despite their ages

Hey there! I’m gonna put this under a read more so that I don’t clog up the dash, because I do have a few things to say about it. But rest assured that it’s not a touchy subject for me, I’ll speak my mind on it freely, and there’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling. Also, no topic is a bad topic! Typically if something bothers me or if I don’t feel like I could handle a topic or situation, I would just say so. :) So no worries!

To jump right into it, I think it really depends on how you feel. And I know that might not sound very helpful, but that’s ultimately what it boils down to- especially if you’re not writing smut atm.

Personally, my blog is 18+ because I do write and reblog smut, but also because when I think about it, I really don’t want minors reading my normal stuff either. When I write for characters whether it’s smut or not, they’re always aged up for me. As a 24 y/o, I automatically go to a place in my mind where Deku is already a prohero, where Bakugou is a prohero, where they’re all either proheroes, or they’re in an AU that ages them up as well, because that’s what I can relate to and what I find attractive and fun. 

So to know that minors/people under 18 are reading my work and relating to it when I specifically write the characters aged up makes me uncomfortable, especially when it’s smut. And I can’t stop them from reading it if they so choose, and I understand that media can come across ten different ways to ten different people...so whereas I write them aged up, I may not have specified that in my work explicitly (often times I just use context clues to show they're over 18, like the fact that they can drink, or can drive, or are working for their own agency etc) , so there is a chance a minor could read it and just imagine themselves with the character who’s around their age and not mine.

But the bottom line for me is that I don’t want to be privy to the information that they’ve read my work or related to it (comfort fics mostly excluded because I write those for everyone and always stay away from writing smut in those so they can be accessible for everyone). I don’t want them to come into my ask box or follow my account, and that’s really why my blog has that 18+ rule attached to it. I don’t want minors talking to me about the things they want certain characters to do to them, about things they want to do to characters, because I am 24 years old, pay taxes, pay rent, and am a whole adult while these guys are not, and the age gap makes me wary and uncomfortable. That being said, I also have a SFW page to share SFW writing because I wanted to be inclusive. But even then I feel like I have to be careful, because I do have an impact on the minors who read my content and my posts.

But mostly these are just my personal feelings. Putting those aside...

I think making your blog 18+ can both hurt and help it. It helps because minors should know that space is clearly not for them, but it might also hurt the blog in the very same way. I noticed the first time I put up that warning in big red letters that said MDNI and other related things that I immediately had an influx of blank blogs and minors who purposefully followed me because of that very post. And I went through and blocked them, but it was annoying to do so because I was getting new followers every hour or so and that was a lot of blogs to block. So I guess what I’m trying to say here is be aware that this could happen when and if you do decide to make it an 18+ space.

Also, as far as nasty messages go, I’ve only ever gotten two asks related to this subject- one about what, exactly, MDNI and 18+ meant, and another from a self shipper that I just never answered bc it seemed weirdly worded and suspicious. I’ve never gotten any hate over it or mean/nasty messages, but I also don’t get a lot of interaction from my original followers and I’m really not that popular/big of a blog. I also don’t produce content on a regular basis anymore either, so that could be why. And I do want to point out that you could receive them either way- I’ve seen people attacked for aging up characters without an 18+ on their blog and with one as well. 

If anyone ever sends you nasty or even passive aggressive messages, my advice is to block them and move on, point blank. Unless you’re really good friends already, no one is worth your time and effort of explaining yourself or your comfort characters. You’re allowed to like them, allowed to express yourself how you want, allowed to feel comfort from them or attraction towards them or whatever it is you feel. They’re drawings. They’re meant to look attractive and aesthetically pleasing to the eye. If someone is angry with you or sending you hate over that, they’re probably out of touch with reality and have a few priorities mixed up. It’s one thing to get attached to your fav or enjoy the show/book/story, but it’s another thing completely to go out of your way and attack a person for something that doesn’t even affect you.

Alright, I’m rambling at this point, but you get the gist of it (I hope lol). There’s nothing wrong with aging up characters, there’s nothing wrong with liking your comfort characters, and there’s nothing wrong with writing for them. If you want to slap an 18+ on your blog if it makes you feel safer, then that’s alright too. And if not? That’s fine as well. <3

I hope this helps!