#{ 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐀 *// dilara kaplan }

[mcckies]

Fuck the talk about God’s house being for everyone - times were different here, and this was Valentina’s home still. She could tell she was grating on the woman’s nerves, and she didn’t care. If anything, it only made her feel more empowered. It was an ugly side to her, sure, and one that she didn’t unleash very often - in the last few years of living here, when Leandro and his children showed up, she made the conscious effort to be a little bit better, something that was a bit more of a role model as opposed to the straight up bitch she was before. 

But who was she kidding; it was only dormant, never truly gone.

“Condolences are just fine, thank you,” Valentina said, generosity dripping from her tone, the only thing to focus on instead of the woman’s words. Regardless of what she said, Valentina didn’t believe that if she didn’t walk in on her tugging at the curtains, she wouldn’t have let whatever was out there in. It was a very specific, very unique approach They had, one that had that delightful personal touch of hell with it. Still, after all these years, she saw Robbie, and had long since stopped seeing her family members after she began to wonder how they looked as they aged - their faces were faded with memory, and it’s not as if she had pictures with her to remind herself. Those remained on a phone that no longer worked, that was cracked from the accident anyway. “Are you done?” she asked, picking at the split ends in her hair while the woman complained. “Onto things that matter - someone hopefully gave you a rundown of how this place was? Or did you just not pay attention? Otherwise, I'll fill in the blanks.”

The longer Dilara listened to the girl speak, the more irritated she became. It was the same as talking to a child. A bratty, entitled, snob of a child, but she was far too grown to entertain and stoop down to her level. So while the girl went on and on complaining about something that could have easily happened to any one of them, and likely had to her too, Dilara couldn’t help but think back to the sound of her child’s voice. How sweet and innocent it had sounded, so close in tone to the evading sound of Emre’s, despite it coming from one of those things. It still left her curious to find out the source. Dee had a plethora of questions festering inside her mind. What did they look like? Was the smile as odd and sinister as others made it appear? And lastly, how powerful were they really? If they could so easily take over a person’s mind. 

She shivered, shaking herself back to the present interaction, and gave an exasperated sigh. “  Just because you feel entitled to a response does not mean that you’ll get one from me. I am not some little girl you can bully into compliance because you’ve been here ten years. Congratulations. Or would it be, my condolences, instead?  ” The entirety of this interaction was more draining than the town itself. Dilara had dealt with girls like this plenty of times in her lifetime. Growing up in the high society of New York meant she’d met plenty of versions of this girl. By Dilara’s age, it was more annoying than irritating. “  You deserve nothing as far as I’m concerned.  ”

[mcckies]

“Do you?” Valentina asked, stepping forward, brows raised expectantly. The curtains were hanging loose, no flutters or cracks through the fabric to allow Them to see inside. Some of the windows were still stained glass, and it was a shame they couldn’t keep the curtains open all the time to revel in their glory. 

“Yes, but you don’t live here,” Valentina said. Though the woman’s tone was no longer upset, matching her own, Valentina was not one to back down. “So I don’t know who you are, and I deserve to know the person that almost killed me, now do I?” The eye roll that escaped her was palpable, even in the dim light. “I don’t think God’s in any hurry for a meet and greet.” Least of all with anyone in Arcadia. She looked the woman up and down, gaze steely and judgemental - it was too late, and she was too tired to even attempt to cover up her distaste. Though, she didn’t have much of an excuse when she wasn’t any of those things. 

“I don’t think either of us will care much how I spoke to you if we end up dead,” she stated, plainly, then sat on the pew closest to where she was standing, resigning herself to essentially be on guard duty tonight. “I’ve been here for ten years and I was woken up by a stranger, so if anyone’s being disrespected here–” She gestured over to the woman with a passive aggressive smile.

She pressed their lips to keep from apologizing once more and nodded her head in response. Dilara understood. This was all a trick on her mind - Emre was nowhere near here. Thank God. Taking a couple of deep breaths before she allowed herself to respond, Dilara pried her eyes away from the window, “I got it, alright?” She’s just never experienced this before. It was so fucking real she could still feel the goosebumps running down her arms. Her heart still pounding in her ears as if the answer to all stood just beyond the front door. 

It was easy to see the girl was upset, but the harsh tone used forced Dee to snap her face towards her. “I don’t owe you a response, nor do you decide where I choose to find shelter. Last I checked this was a church. My business stays between me and the good Lord above.” While she could easily understand being scared of a stranger opening the door when monsters waited beyond, Dilara was not about to let some little girl speak to her in such a manner. Nobody deserved to be spoken down to for a lapse in consciousness. Especially when the world outside was as screwed as this. What was she going to do? Open the door and kick her out? 

“It wasn’t my intention to put anyone in harm's way, nor was I opening the door. There’s no reason for you to be disrespectful.” 

[mcckies]

Valentina didn’t even flinch at the scream the woman let out. More than anything, she was just annoyed at the potential emergency that could have created; there was no room for her to be sympathetic whatsoever. Being the product of a mother and father who were known to be somewhat ruthless in their chosen fields, she was raised with a similar mentality. It wasn’t anything callous, not on purpose - but in a place like this, selfish tendencies were encouraged.

“That’s what They do,” she said, tone even and serious. Moments ago she was in peaceful slumber, now wide awake and unsure if she trusted the woman enough to go back to sleep and believe she wouldn’t endanger the rest of them. “Children live here. Does that mean you’re okay with potentially letting them die because of your mistake?” Harsh, sure, but Valentina stayed alive and relatively safe for ten years for a good reason. Being kind and nice to everyone got people killed.

Valentina stood in the threshold of the doorway, arms crossed and keeping an eye on her. “Who are you?” she asked, stepping forward, into the dim light of the church. “You don’t live here.” Thank god, or I’d be dead already.

Startled so abruptly that Dilara let out a scream, she turned to find a young blonde beside her who hadn’t been there a moment prior. It took only a moment more for her to realize what was happening. What the voice outside the church’s window could have been. What she was just about to do. “I’m so sorry.” she whispered, still in shock at the familiarity in which the voice outside had addressed her. How effortless it’d been at captivating her mind at its weakest moment. “I’m so sorry.” Dilara found herself repeating, glancing back to the window she’s almost just opened then down at her hands. 

There was a sense of powerlessness spreading through her system and before she knew it, Dilara was shaking with silent tears. She did such a good job at holding herself together that Dee didn’t notice the tears streaming down her face or the shakiness in her breath. Didn’t notice or simply didn’t care as she worked through the last few moments and the voice still ringing in her head. Mommy he’d called to her, and she simply went. 

“I didn’t- I don’t, I’m sorry. I-” she couldn’t form proper words and shook her head instead. Reaching for the pews behind her and slid down into the seat. “He’s not here. It wasn’t him. He’s not here. He’s home safe. He’s home safe. He’s home safe.” she spoke at a whisper, barely audible. Dee wrapped her arms around herself, trying her hardest to pull herself together. She almost forgot about the woman beside her, had she not turned to glance at the window again. “It sounded so real.”

[mcckies]

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

Valentina had woken up in the middle of the night to the wooden creak of the pews. She didn’t sleep with her door shut anymore, not after the nightmares and dreams, too nervous about having an extra roadblock in the event that she felt the desire to run to Lea, or if she needed any help. It’s not like his children came up to see her at night or anything like that, so she didn’t have to worry much about people bothering her.

She didn’t even know about a stray coming into the church overnight - she had one door she was responsible for, the one that laid about ten feet from her bedroom, where her clothing dropoff boxes were. It didn't happen very often - people found comfort in liquor over gods in Arcadia, for reasons understandable. One was tangible, instantaneous. That one quiet boy a few months ago was the last she could remember, before the storm.

Her sleep schedule had been perfectly adjusted by year two, so she hardly noticed any latecomers once her sleep mask was on. The nightmares from before had disturbed her schedule, and she heard voices when she woke up in the middle of the night. Her room was fairly sound, so it had to come from elsewhere.

"Are you insane?" she spoke, not even bothering to quiet her voice like many would in a church. "You pull that back and you might be putting everyone else in here to death. Do you even live here, who the fuck are you?"

✶ 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ; outside of the church ✶ 𝐅𝐎𝐑 ; @mcckies

Stopping by the church was only meant to be a momentary thing after she finished having dinner at the diner. Dilara had wanted to find some peace before bed and so she willed herself to head there, sending Rosa back to their shared living space on her own with the promise of being there not too long after. She needed peace of mind and silence, and a safe space where she could communicate with whomever reigned above to please allow her the chance to see her children again. 

Somewhere in the middle of her prayers Dilara ended up crying herself to sleep. Her body sat slumped over one of the pews while she sat on the floor. The position had her body awkward and stiff with the only consequence moving forward being sore spots on random places. She raised her head from her arms, alarmed, when she heard voices calling out to her. Children's voices…

Dee turned every which way, before she placed the voice outside of a window. Automatically she glanced down at her watch, which thankfully still worked, noting that it was eight o’clock in the evening. “Shit.” she cursed, turning towards the doorway where she knew others to reside, before looking at the altar apologetically.

“Mommy?” the child called out, sounding so much like her Emre. 

“Baby?” she replied, swallowing despite knowing well it wasn’t possible. This couldn’t be him. There was no way.

“Mommy, I’m so cold.” Dilara pushed off the floor, scrunching her face as the pain overtook her joints, but she moved towards the covered window. Needing to look to make sure it wasn’t real. That he wasn’t out there. “Emre?” she called out, after his voice had gone silent, and moved a hand to catch the curtains.