#^ he’s been feeling sooooo shit about adults lately. Doesn’t anyone care at all.

[inkats]

Today sucked this is cute

[heartofsnark]

I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship (Misty/Fem!V/Jackie) Smut

Notes: Sooooo, this isn't really canon to my V's like story, as far as like her actual series goes (which you should look at if you want plot with your porn ayyy) but more of a fun what if, that I was possessed to write at 8am and am now publishing at 2:40 am cause I've lost control of my life and wanna see these three fuck. 

Warnings: Vaginal sex, cunnilingus, creampies, unprotected sex (fucking wrap it before you tap it, fucking hell Jackie) blowjobs, oral sex, licking cum out of a vagina, just porn, so much porn.

Summary: V has a problem, many problems, but we're focusing on the one for today. Her, Jackie, and Misty are friends; really good friends. Completely platonic and chill friends. They're her best friends in fact, the closest friends she's ever had. So, why does she want to fuck them so bad? 

*Also, the V in this is my own, she is a cis woman and also deaf. 

V has a problem, multiple problems if she’s being honest, but one in particular has been overwhelming her as of late. She doesn’t do romantic love, she’s told herself time and time again. A misguided crush as a child and a ‘what could have been’ when she was a slightly older child. Times when she thought she was in love or could have ended up there, but her hopes were dashed with cruel words or chance. And every other encounter since has been either platonic or just sex. You can be V’s friend or you can fuck her; no room for romance or muddy waters in the merc’s heart. 

At least that’s what she says. 

At least that’s what she thought. 

Then she met Jackie and Misty. The Heywood boy who took her in. His sweetheart of a girlfriend. Her feelings are platonic, she tells herself. Friends, practically family, a platonic sort of love she’s so rarely found. And that’s more than enough, her feelings and desires don’t go  beyond that, she tells herself. 

She watches Jackie workout at times, meant to spot him.  His muscle corded arms strained as he lifts weights, veins prominent and sweat tracing patterns down his skin. Freckled face flushed with exertion and V’s mouth dry at the thought of tasting the salt of his skin. 

But, they’re friends. 

V will catch herself staring at Misty from time to time when she visits the older woman’s Esoterica shop, getting tarot card readings and helping sort any new inventory that’s come in. Never missing the way Misty’s skirt rides up her thighs, showing a peek of soft thighs wrapped in fishnet stockings. 

But they’re friends. 

It's purely platonic when Jackie ruffles her hair, a big warm hand the size of her head, a grin wider than a canyon and sun glinting off his gold cyberware. The butterflies in her stomach and the flush on her face mean nothing more, they’re friends. 

And it's strictly platonic when she and Misty bleach their hair together, legs practically entangled when they wait on the couch together. The way V’s breath catches at the press of skin and the sound of Misty laughing is just…  They’re friends, really, just friends. 

They’re just friends, her mind screams when she’s sharing a bed with Jackie, pressed close to his warm body and inhaling the smell of his cologne. His large arms wrapped around her and thoughts flickering to if he’d let his hands move lover. 

Just friends, she tries to beat into her own head, when she’s reminded of Misty’s hands gently holding her bruised chin after a bad gig. Close enough V could nearly kiss her black painted lips, what would it feel like having dark lipstick smeared across her neck? 

They’re just friends, but sometimes she wishes they weren’t; she tells herself in shame after a night spent thinking of them in Jackie’s bed, him out on a date with Misty. V’s hand wet with her own slick after hours imagining she was pressed between them, the smell of her sweat sticking to his sheets. 

Moving out will help, she decides. A little more space, a few more boundaries will keep those lines from blurring so easily. Her friends, just friends, are there to help her move in and set up her new megabuilding apartment. 

Once everything is settled in, V orders them all takeout for dinner, the least she can do. The trio sits on the floor around her table, the holoprojector showing advertisements above their head. The curved built-in sofa is behind them, but its too far from the table to comfortably eat, plus it doesn’t afford the comfort of being closer to each other. Misty and Jackie sitting, nearly on top of each other across the table from V.  Trying not to stare at the way his fingers toy with Misty’s sweater. 

“Can’t believe you’re actually moving out, chica,” Jackie comments after swallowing down a mouthful of dumplings. She swears she hears a hint of melancholy in his voice, but maybe it’s wishful thinking. 

“Can’t mooch off of you and Mama Welles forever,” she signs and talks, comfortable talking when it's just them. The words flow easier, her throat less raw and blocked off. 

“For the billionth time, you ain’t no fuckin’ mooch, V.” 

“So you say.” V rolls her eyes and takes a drink of Nicola. 

“Personally, I’m happy about it,” Misty states and that soda suddenly feels like cement in V’s throat. One of her worst fears potentially realized, that Misty or Jackie see her as an interloper, an intrusion on their relationship. That Misty is sick of some random woman sleeping in her boyfriend’s bed.

“Why’s that?” Jackie asks, half of an eggroll in his mouth.

“‘Cause now I don’t have to sneak around Mama Welles to see V, too.” 

“Oh,” V swallows hard, feeling the air return to her lungs, “that’s right, I’ll never understand that whole thing. ”  

Misty is one of the sweetest people in the world and V’s always considered Jackie’s mom just as nice, but for some reason the two can’t seem to see eye to eye. Mama Welles hung up on Jackie getting back with one of his ex’s. 

“She’ll come around eventually, Ma just takes a while to warm up to people.” 

“Me, not people, just me. Pretty sure, she’d jump for joy if you and V were dating,” 

V chokes on her noodles, heat flushing up to her hairline at the thought. Not helping, Misty, not helping. Misty laughs at her, V trying to recompose herself. 

“Why would you say that?” 

“Uh, ‘cause it’s true!~ She adores you, V. Not that I can blame her.” 

“Pfft,” V rolls her eyes, scoffing, “trust me, she’d turn on me in a heartbeat if I tried to steal away her precious baby boy.”  

V teases Jackie, reaching across the table to squeeze at his cheek, he smacks away her hand, grinning and a flush of red across his cheeks. 

“Fuck off!” 

“True, she is so protective of her precious, Jaquito~” Misty joins in, giggling and scratching her nails along his chin. 

“I didn’t sign up to be harassed today,” he pretends to complain. 

“No sign up necessary, my harassment comes free and unsolicited~,” V reaches for an eggroll and accidentally knocks an open can of cola into Jackie’s lap, “shit!” 

“Ah, fuck,” Jackie flinches a bit as cold soda hits his crotch. 

“Sorry, sorry,” V blurts out, grabbing up napkins and starting to reach over the table to dry him. 

“I, uh, got it! It’s fine!” Jackie quickly stops her and she realizes she was a fraction of an inch away from trying to rub his dick dry. 

“Uh, right, sorry, I, sorry.” V falls back on her but, trying to pretend she isn’t embarrassed by the instinct. 

“Its okay, V,” Jackie insists, trying to dry his pants, “what’s a wet sticky dick between friends?”

“Jackie!” V yells at his innuendo, the audacity of this man, meanwhile Misty is giggling behind her hand.

“It shouldn’t stain,” Misty says when she stops giggling, rubbing Jackie’s shoulder, “I think you left some clothes at my place, you can change there, so you don’t have to wear wet pants all the way back to Heywood.”

And that’s right, they’ll be leaving at some point. She’ll be having her first night alone in her apartment, just her…  She taps her fingers against the floor, staring at a seam on her couch. She’s an adult, she reminds herself, she can handle being alone. 

“Yeah, we’ll go ahead and get out of your hair, V.” 

“Yeah, yeah, appreciate the help,” she hopes her signing and voice don’t give away her discomfort. Then there’s a gentle hand over her own, neatly painted black fingernails on her skin, warm and smooth skin compared to V’s more calloused flesh. Misty having shifted closer to the side of the table, so she could reach V. 

“Unless, you don’t want us to go?” 

“Uhh,” what kind of adult can’t be alone in her own apartment, V admonishes herself, “I-” 

“You still have trouble sleeping alone, right?” Jackie asks, raising an eyebrow, eyes concerned. 

“I mean… I don’t expect anyone to coddle me, I-” 

“It's not coddling, V, we care about you. Adjusting is hard and if us sleeping here tonight helps, we’re happy to do it.” 

“You know we’d do anything for you, chica.” 

“Uh, okay then, I can sleep on the couch and you two can have the bed-” 

“Pffft,” Jackie scoffs, “don’t be stupid,  we’ve been sharing a bed half that size for the past three months, V. The last thing I expect is for you to sleep on the couch.” 

“Okay, if you’re both cool with it.” 

And that’s how she ends up in her new bed with her two friends. Misty wearing a set of V’s sleep clothes, the shorts and shirt riding up slightly on the older woman just a few inches taller than the merc. Jackie stripped down to just his boxer briefs and V is accustomed to that she reminds herself, her partner in crime, sleeping in his underwear next to her more times than she can count. But, lately everything feels...muddier. 

V faces the wall, on her side, Misty and Jackie cuddling behind her. They nearly pulled her between them, but she stopped them, insisting she sleep fine so long as there’s just someone near her. And that’s true, the warmth and knowledge that she’s not alone helps plenty, but more so she’s just not sure she would have survived the night pressed between them. Even like this… she struggles to sleep, feeling their bodies radiating warmth behind her.  She stares at the wall and tries to name stars, her go to trick for sleeping. 

Then there’s shifting movement behind her, the feeling of the bed shifting a bit, and Misty’s foot slightly nudging V’s ankle. The little merc twists around onto her other side to see what’s going on, if Misty or Jackie need something and her breath catches in her throat. 

Misty is pressed tight to Jackie’s chest, the couple spooning with her back to his front. His face is pressed into her neck, V can’t hear his face nor read his lip, but she can see them moving against Misty’s skin. Jackie’s large hands are toying with Misty’s body,  one hand down between her thighs and the other pushing her shirt up to grope her breast. Misty’s eyes are shut, head arched back just slightly, mouth slightly open as her boyfriend teases her. 

V can’t help but stare, face a sharp shade of crimson, at the sight of the shirt being pushed up to reveal the underside of Misty’s breast, the muscles in Jackie’s forearm tightening as he fingers her.  Its a lot to take in, the sight, the feelings; the knowledge that they’d do this just inches from V. Desire and heat build in her center, her cunt getting wet at watching her friends fool around, finding herself imagining what it’d be like to have Jackie’s thick calloused fingers pushing inside of her or how soft Misty’s breast would feel in her hand. Then Jackie pushes the shirt all the way up above Misty’s chest, plump breasts and stiffening nipples on full display. 

V shouldn’t be seeing this; shame and humiliation mix with her arousal. 

Friends. They’re friends, damn it!

The speed at which V turns away from the sight, sends her half into the wall; knee and hands hitting it. She can feel Misty and Jackie shooting up behind her, mattress shifting, V tries to burrow down into her pillow hoping the two will somehow be convinced she just moved in her sleep. But the hand rubbing over her shoulder tells her that’s not the case. She forces herself to sit up and face her friends, just friends… 

Misty and Jackie are sitting up more in the bed, Misty’s clothes back in place. Their faces are both flushed, Jackie isn’t making eye contact with V.  Misty hands V her hearing aid case, a gentle unspoken request for her to put them in so it’s easier to talk. And V doesn’t want to talk about it, doesn’t want to deal with this, doesn’t want to ruin this. But she can’t deny the soft look in Misty’s emerald green eyes, sliding her hearing aids in. 

“Sorry, chica…” Jackie awkwardly apologizes the second V can hear.

“Okay…night... ” Is all V can manage, hoping this will be the end of it, hoping she doesn’t have to confront everything swelling up inside of her. V reaches up to take out her hearing aids, intent on just quickly pulling them out and rolling back over, to pretend this never happened. 

Misty’s hand reaches her face first, cupping V’s chin and forcing the merc to make eye contact. Though her eyes do drift back and forth between Misty’s lips and eyes. The closeness makes it all the  more tempting to just kiss her… 

But Misty beats her to it, nothing but tender press of their lips together. And V never in a million years believed of the three that Misty would be the one to break first.  Yet here they are, a soft kiss that lasts all of a moment before Misty starts to pull away, a quick peck meant to test the waters, but V chases after it, capturing the older woman’s lips again.  Her kiss is a far cry from Misty’s, hungrier, deeper and anything but chaste as she pushes her tongue into the blonde’s mouth. 

“Shit,” Jackie curses, voice low and hungry as he watches his girlfriend and best friend makeout. V smiles into the kiss, finally breaking away. 

“We’re a pair of  Catholic school girl uniforms away from acting out Jackie’s favorite BD, aren’t we?” V can’t help but tease remembering a few… select pieces from her friends collection. 

“Hey!” 

V falls back against the bed laughing, that sort of tension and fear melting away. Misty and Jackie laugh too; the sound music to V’s ears, the merc suddenly thankful she kept the hearing aids in.  They kissed and the world didn’t end. There’s no irreparable damage and if they wanted maybe they could all leave it there, a weird exchange that ended in laughter. Nothing has to change. One kiss between friends, no big deal. 

Then Misty is climbing over her, moving to be on the other side of V, pressing against that side as Jackie moves in closer; placing her between them. 

“Hello, can I he-” she starts to tease, then Jackie’s lips are on hers. His large warm hand on her chin, keeping her in place as he pushes his tongue into her mouth. She works to meet his movement, to give as good as she gets, kissing him back with the same passing. A moan leaving the back of her throat and dying on Jackie’s tongue when he shifts the angle to kiss her deeper. She grabs his bicep, feeling his muscles to anchor herself. 

And, okay, it’s two kisses now. What’s two kisses between friends?

Jackie pulls away, pressing his forehead against hers, rubbing his thumb over her chin. 

“Been wanting to do that for a while, mija,” he admits tenderly. 

And that’s it, it's all too far gone and she’s done caring. 

“Need you, both of you,” V finally says it, puts the words out into the world and prepares herself for what comes next. 

Then Jackie pulls her shirt off over her head, leaving V’s breasts exposed, her nipple piercings glinting in the lowlight of the room.  Delicate fingers push past the waistband of V’s shorts, Misty finding and stroking V’s clit as Jackie dips his head to suck at the merc’s breast. She whimpers at the treatment, overwhelmed and squirming as the couple plays with her body. Slick coats Misty’s fingers and V’s thighs, the merc’s cunt clenching with every rub of her clit. Jackie’s tongue teases and licks at her piercing, he sucks at her breast, feeling her nipple stiffen on his tongue. Misty’s fingers slip lower, pushing inside of V. Its all too much, V’s pleasure building higher and higher inside of her. Jackie gives a little nip, not a true bite just the slight pressure of his teeth on her breast just as Misty adds a third finger. And it snaps, V crying out as she cums on Misty’s hand, 

Jackie pulls off of V’s breast and Misty pulls slick coated fingers out of her cunt, the merc panting. 

“Didn’t realize you were that sensitive, V,” Jackie teases, breath hot on her ear. 

“Shut up.” 

“It’s cute,” Misty assures her, kissing softly across V’s cheek and neck. 

“So, cute,” Jackie says, but his voice with that edge of condescension before he bites her neck. She whines but responds by rubbing a hand over his cock, grinning when he jumps. 

“Yeah, let's see how well you handle it,” she taunts, pushing him back flat against the bed as she straddles him. 

His hard cock rubs against her, her shorts and his boxers the only thing between them. She kisses across his chest. Tracing her tongue along his tattoos and freckles, sliding her hand between them to palm his dick, feeling the warmth of it through the fabric. She trails her kisses down, watching his head dip back against the pillow, cursing under his breath as she makes her way lower and lower down his torso and stomach. She pulls her mouth away when it hits fabric, as much as she’d love to settle between his legs and tease him through his boxers, She’s not about to forget about Misty. 

V pulls away to press closer to Jackie’s side, looking up to see Misty, staring at them, enraptured. The merc stretches over Jackie’s lap to catch the back of Misty’s head, tangling her fingers in the short layers of hair, bringing the older woman in for another kiss. She uses this to gently pull and encourage Misty over closer, until they’re both pressed tight against one side of Jackie’s legs, making out just above his erection. They break apart, with V giving a soft bite to Misty’s lower lip before hooking her fingers into the bottom of Misty’s shirt pulling it off over her head. She can’t help but get another eyeful of Misty’s chest, before turning her attention back to Jackie, intent on showing why having two people play with you tends to make a person more sensitive. 

V slips her fingers into the top of Jackie’s boxer briefs, starting to pull them down, Misty helping her as Jackie raises his hips for them. The girls quickly getting the boxers off; V swallows hard at the sight of his dick. He’s big, something she always figured considering he’s nearly a giant towering over both Misty and V.  Its flushed red at the head, thick with prominent veins, and leaking precum on his lower stomach. Misty and V get their tongues on him, making Jackie curse aloud. V lapping the head of his cock to taste his precum, teasing her tongue piercing along the flushed sensitive skin. Misty, tracing the underside, licking along the veins and shaft of his cock. 

V pulls away for a moment as Misty licks up Jackie’s cock. The merc watches as Misty takes the length of Jackie’s dick into mouth, inch after inch pushing past her kiss-swollen lips. V takes to licking the places where Misty’s mouth can reach, the part of his cock she can’t force down her throat without risk of gagging, V’s tongue chases after Misty’s mouth as she pulls up, tasting Misty’s spit on his cock, until she’s pulling off his dick with a pop. Before V can follow suit, taking her turn to feel his dick in her throat, he stops them. Large thick fingers tangling in bleached hair. 

“Stop, fuck, fuck, gonna-fuck,” he groans out, nearly choking on his words. 

“Aww, feeling sensitive?” V teases, biting at his thigh. 

“Not helping, V.” 

“I don’t think she was trying to help, Jackie,” Misty jokes, sharing a sly smile with V as they watch Jackie try to keep from blowing his load right there. Jackie reaches down and squeezes Misty’s ass, making her yelp at the sudden attention. 

“Wanna feel you, carina,” he tells Misty, teasing her cunt through her shorts.  

V helps Misty pull off her shorts, leaving her completely naked. The young merc can see the slick sticking to the inside of Misty’s inner thighs and all she wants to do is lap it up. But Jackie is already manhandling Misty, helping her move to straddle his lap, with her back towards him and facing V; reverse cowgirl style.  Misty puts her hands back on Jackie’s chest, leaning her weight back on him as he holds her hips, his fingers squeezing the soft plush flesh. 

Slowly, Jackie pulls Misty down on his cock, making her moan out as he fills her. He bounces Misty on his cock, fucking up into her. V watches agape, not sure where she wants to focus, from where the two meet, his cock pumping into Misty’s tight cunt. Or to Misty as a whole, the woman put on full display for V to watch as her breasts bounce with every thrust and she cries out with every slap of flesh hitting flesh. 

She settles for doing much more than just watching, V dipping her head between their thighs and licking where Jackie and Misty connect. Its a sloppy mess, trying to keep up with Jackie’s pace as he pound into Misty. V laps and licks at his cock where she can, tasting Misty’s slick on him, kissing where Misty’s cunt takes in Jackie’s cock. She sucks and teases Misty’s clit, her own cunt clenching at the way the added pleasure makes Misty scream out. V’s mouth and tongue are everywhere they can be, desperate and sloppy in her rush to taste the couple, to add to their pleasure. 

Misty grabs the back of V’s hair when she cums, pinning the merc in one spot as she screams out her release. V’s left to drool and keep her tongue out as Misty’s cunt and Jackie’s cock rub against her. She tastes the rush of Misty’s slick first, gushing and twitching as her pussy is overwhelmed.  Then V tastes the bitter salt of Jackie’s cum, him cursing as he fills Misty and then keeps cumming, thick white spilling out and dripping back down his cock. The couple still, both panting heavily and Misty relaxing, letting V’s hair go as the young merc continues to lick up the mess. Misty collapses, practically boneless laying on Jackie’s chest. 

Jackie gets his hands under her thighs and starts to bring them back, Misty whimpering as he’s able to hold her legs up, nearly bringing her knees to her chest. The shift in position causes his cock to slip out of her, his cum now spilling freely from Misty’s cunt, a wet messy show for V. 

“Clean her up for me, V?” He asks it as casually as he’d ask V to lend her car. And V is just as happy to oblige. 

V buries her tongue inside of Misty, moaning softly when Misty squeals at the feeling. Its a mess of Jackie’s cum and Misty’s, mingling on V’s tongue as she licks it up like she’s starved for it. Misty is a sensitive mess, being eaten out so soon after being fucked to pieces, but V doesn’t hold back; rubbing a thumb over the woman’s swollen clit while she laps up every drop of Jackie’s cum. There’s a shake in Misty’s thighs, instinct telling her to clench them shut, to trap V between her legs, but Jackie keeps her spread wide; only able to whimper and whine as the mess is licked up as her twitching wet clit is teased alongside every stroke of V’s tongue. 

With each lick V tastes less and less of Jackie’s mess, cleaning up the creampie he’d left inside of Misty. And she doesn’t know what it is that sends Misty over the edge, one too many rubs of V’s thumb over her clit or particularly deep lick, V desperate to truly swallow down every drop of seed. But something does and Misty’s sent into a second orgasm, trembling and gushing against V’s tongue, screaming out as the pleasure consumes her.  The merc slows down gently,steadily  easing Misty through the aftershocks, until she’s done trembling.  

Jackie lets go of Misty’s legs, letting her body relax as she gently moves to lay against his side. His cock is still half hard and there’s an itch inside of V that hasn’t quite been scratched, still wet and twitching between her thighs, the crotch of her thin shorts sticky with slick. But she doesn’t want to push it, she thinks as she goes to lay down on his other side. But, he has different ideas it seems, an idea catching in his mind as V’s in the midst of moving, on her hands and knees about to drop down onto the mattress. Despite his size he moves fast, grabbing at V’s hips and making her freeze, on his knees behind her as he pulls her ass back against his cock. She whines at the friction, as he grinds against her, quickly getting his cock fully hard again. Misty laying against the pillows next to them, satiated and content to watch the V and Jackie chase another orgasm. 

And he yanks her shorts down as far as he can without changing the position, exposing her slick needy cunt. 

“Fuck,” the low hungry curse sends a chill along V’s spine, the head of his cock leaving wet across her ass, before he rubs it over her sex. 

There's a part of her that thinks they shouldn’t, that this is the step too far, a line that can’t be uncrossed; as if she hadn’t just had her face buried in Misty’s pussy. But, she needs this and by the tight hold Jackie has on her hips, he does too. A line that needs to be crossed even if it can’t be undone. An experience that has to be had, just to know what it’s like. 

Then he’s sinking into her, pulling her back onto his cock, filling her. V’s eyes roll back, a silent cry on her tongue as she’s stretched and stuffed. Too much, too much; but exactly what she needs. Despite his size, he fills her easily, her body too needy to resist the push of him into her. He doesn’t give her time to adjust, not that she needs or truly wants it. They’re both at their limit, just needing this, to know what it’s like to be connected this way; to feel his cock pounding into her, to feel her cunt clenching around him. 

She lets him set the pace, too overwhelmed to do anything, whimpering as he brutally fucks her; pulling her back against him as he thrusts forward. Both too far gone and desperate for this to be softer. The skin slapping together, sound ringing out through the apartment, a wet squelch everytime he sinks inside of her. Jackie uses her like a toy, like a human sized fleshlight to chase his own end with. And she knows she means more than that, in the moment it feels good to just be used, to be manhandled and fucked apart, to be a pillow princess taking his dick however he sees fit to give it. Each thrust sending her spiraling deeper and deeper into her pleasure, fucked stupid and mindless, unable to think of anything but how it feels to be fucked by him. 

And that pleasure overwhelms quicker than she expects, bubbling over and orgasm hitting her before she even truly realized she was close. Mind going completely blank and throat raw as she screams out, cumming on his cock, toes clenching. And he fucks her through it, draws it out until he’s cursing under his breath and spilling inside of her. His second load, a little lighter than the creampie he left Misty with, but still thick and too much for V’s cunt to hold; the mess leaking down her thighs as she comes down from her high. 

She whimpers when he pulls out, suddenly empty and more of his cum spilling from inside of her. Jackie collapses, in the middle of the bed, between Misty and V, sweaty and panting. V can’t help but laugh, throwing her shorts completely off, as Misty curls up close to his side. Jackie wraps an arm around Misty’s  hip. His other hand skims V’s back as she leans over them to take her hearing aids out, putting them on the side table, then she’s pulled down to lay against his chest. V nuzzles in, looking at Misty’s face across the expanse of Jackie’s chest, V being held just as tightly to his side. Misty’s hand is on his chest and V reaches up, intertwining their fingers, earning her a soft serene smile from the older woman. 

And there’s a lot that’ll need to be talked about. So many questions as to what this all means; what does V even want this to mean? A one time thing they don’t talk about, don’t deal with. A friendship ruiner, the start of something… new.  So many possibilities and each one brings with it a different sort of anxiety. But for now, she’s content to sleep curled up under the sheets with her friends. 

[rxgerthatt]

we’re both monsters, and that’s okay

Summary - Bucky is a broken man, and you’re a broken woman. What happens when worlds collide?

Warnings - SMUT/violence/adult themes 

A/N – hi sooooo, I’m working on something big for Steve but I wanted to get something out because I’m having the dreaded writers block and it’s annoying. I really have no idea where this came from, and honestly I’m not sure it makes sense but fuck it, it’s late – if you like it lemme know darlings.

Bucky Barnes is smitten the moment he lays eyes on you.

The firecracker of a dame, with a whip for a tongue and the strength of ten super soldiers. Slight exaggeration, but the point is – you’re strong as fuck.

Seriously, he watched you pull off a man’s arm with your bare hands in Moscow – creamed his pants at the sight. Gore splattered across your face in garish red, coated your hands and you sucked your fucking index finger into your mouth – released it with a pop.

You’re really fucking morbid.

“hmm – don’t get blood like this in the states.” You smirk.

You’re also insane.

Bucky stutters, watches the way your hips sway as you slink away from him and he thinks about those sinful legs wrapped around his –

“Hurry up Barnes – Kimmel’s on at ten.”

Damn – you’ll be the death of him.

He travels to Venice with you – romantic right?

Two enhanced humans running from their problems, trying to find the pieces that were taken – trying to remember the pieces that weren’t. It’s like some tragic love story, spun together and bound by flames and cindered rope.

You remind him of fire – uncontrollable, breathtaking. Don’t get too close or you’ll burn because you’re untameable, one of those new world modern chicks who hate commitment and snort white powder from vials on the weekend.

You’re more dangerous though.

Venice is other worldly. You and Bucky sit on a bridge and watch the sun descend over brightly coloured buildings. It burns tangerine orange and this violent blood red, soft clouds blushing pink with the last of the suns attention. Cornflower blue sky pulled apart from the sea revealing a fleshy wound.

Gondola’s pass beneath your feet, charred and midnight black as they slosh through the water – couples kiss and laugh and Bucky wonders what it’s like to be so completely in love you’re blinded.

“Do you ever wish you died? Y’know, when you fell off the train?” you ask him, and it’s totally out of the blue because you’re sucking on salted caramel gelato over sea foam green water and that question is entirely inappropriate.

“No,” he answers with a smug grin. “Wouldn’t get to be sittin’ here with you if I did.”

Oh it’s smooth, and he feels kind of proud. That is, until you roll your eyes and chuckle. “You trying to get laid?”

Bucky chokes on a chocolate chip, it’s wedged in his throat like a stone and your bluntness turns him fifty shades of vermillion. God, he needs to stop hanging around Steve so much – he’s lost his touch.

“It’s okay if you are you know,” you look straight ahead. “I’ll suck your dick if you want, I don’t mind.”

“Jesus Christ doll, you’re something else.” Bucky laughs – a deep belly laugh, and for the first time in a while he feels normal.

You’re the only one that makes him feel normal.

And that’s the weirdest part of the whole damn thing.

***

Bucky sees it for the first time in Naples.

Word of an underground trafficking ring associated with Hydra shook loose and Steve wanted you both to check it out – drugs, weapons – the works.

It’s not end-of-the-world type shit, but the dude that runs it is bad news.

Giovanni De Luca, the man with Naples under his thumb - your ex-handler from your time in Hydra. And suddenly the mission becomes a lot more personal than simple recon and a fire burns deep in your loin.

There’s children. Six shivering corpses tethered together by metal chains - glossy marble eyes, painted with grime and so unnaturally thin.

They were being smuggled.

It hits you like a freight train, knocks the wind from your lungs and you remember the day you were taken – screaming, crying for your parents. But they were dead, painted the wall of your small home in gaudy scarlet and bone. And with them died any possibility of you having a normal life.

They would do the same to these children. They would make them into killing machines – turn them into monsters.

They would turn them into you.

“Y/N, we should call backup.” Bucky warns you. He can see it simmering under your skin, begging to be unleashed and he knows you can’t control it. It’s a reflex, it’s you – uncontrollable, impulsive.

“There’s no time.”

“Darlin’ there’s fifteen of them and -”

“And we will crush every single one of them,” you growl, eyes set alight like a matchstick – tar black pupil licked by the flames of your iris and Bucky is almost scared of you.

You kill all fifteen with ease.

You pop Giovanni’s eyes from his sockets, they spill from his skull glossy red and roll across the floor in a river of gore. The last thing he sees is you. The last thing he feels is excruciating death as it swallows him whole, the dust from his skull powders your fingers.

Bucky can’t stop you. You maim and break and kill and you never even bat those pretty eyelashes – possessed.

It bursts through you – unhinged, deadly – this monstrous being that isn’t really you but it is. It’s the ‘you’ they created. The assassin with no remorse and the devil in her belly. It’s a tragedy, breaking apart in front of his eyes like petals being ripped from a blooming flower and scorched by death so suddenly.

You rip a man’s head clean off his shoulders; the loud tearing of flesh and the crack of bone is the symphony to match your turmoil – the melody that plays and you’re dancing in the centre, coated in blood and muscle with the smell of thick iron in the air – Bucky tastes it on his tongue.

Bucky can’t stop you. He won’t stop you. There’s some deep, shadowed part of him that understands the need to kill, the want to kill those who harm you and it’s all either of them know. He dances the same dance, sings the same symphony and it’s beautifully macabre but it’s them.

And that’s okay.

***

Bucky has nightmares. Lurid red rivers, mountains of bones and it’s all people he’s murdered – their faces printed into his mind in thick ink, forever.

He throws himself from hell one night, sweat slicked and screaming into the black void of night as if anyone’s listening - as though he were looking for the old him.

Bucky grips his hair in his fists, pulls and tugs and he wants to reach into his skull and rip his brain from the top of his spine – smash it until it’s nothing more than matter and blood, because that would be so much less painful than having to see their faces every night.

“James?”

His head whips to the doorway, your silhouette illuminated by the Italian moon and he almost thinks you’re an apparition, a silver skin, as you glide across the floor towards him.

Bucky throws his legs over the side of the bed, pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes and watches the vivid colours dance across the darkness of his eyelids.

“Sorry if I woke you up,” Bucky says, voice choked and broken by despair. “You should go back to sleep.”

You’re in front of him now, kneeling on the floor. Your hands pull his own away from his face because you’re one of the few people who have the strength to do so and he looks at you then.

“I see it all too,” you say softly, a whisper into the night.

Your hand is like a balm to his burning skin as it skims up his arm, fingers grazing the ugly scar at the base of his shoulder, and you’re the only woman that hasn’t been frightened by it – you’re the only woman that’s stayed.

“Do you know what makes it worse, is that I remember who I was before,” Bucky opens up. “I wasn’t always a monster, and I suppose that makes it harder.”

You run both your hands across the wide expanse of mousy skin on his bare chest, your grip more urgent as those small yet powerful hands grip his muscular thighs.

“We’re both monsters James,” you look up at him through those long wispy lashes. “And that’s okay.”

James – no one’s called him that since his mother – and somehow he likes the sound of it on your tongue. You stir something inside him that he thought would never wake up again – caress it with those unusually soft hands and it purrs at you.

And it’s dangerous and dark, and he should probably push you away, but he doesn’t stop you when you reach for his pants and pull them down.

He doesn’t stop you when you lick up his shaft, and tease his balls with a barely-there touch he didn’t think you were capable of. Bucky doesn’t stop you because he wants it – he wants you.

You push his chest down until he crashes against the mattress, primal groan ripping from his throat as you take him deeper into your mouth. It’s wet and hot and everything he ever imagined it would be to have your mouth wrapped around him – bliss.

You swirl your tongue around the tip and look up at him with big, doe eyes and he almost applauds you at how easy you make yourself seem so innocent. And maybe in another lifetime you were, maybe if it were a hundred years earlier, he’d be the dominant one.

“Fuck, baby,” he drawls out, vibranium hand shooting down to lock in your thick hair as you run your teeth up his shaft and no woman’s ever done that to him before. And you do this thing were you twist your head and Bucky swears he sees stars on the ceiling.

He sees heaven and Valhalla and a place he doesn’t deserve, but he knows you don’t deserve it too and he’s not alone.

You moan around him, take him deep into the back of your throat with ease, spit and come are coating your cheeks in transparent ribbons but he knows you don’t care and when he shoots into your mouth you take it all. It’s thick and sticky and leaves behind a burn as it pools in your own stomach with a heavy weight – fat and filling.

You release him with a pop, climb up his body like a monkey and the night air passes over his spit slicked dick and makes him shiver. There’s something about it that’s oddly normal – strangely romantic.  

Bucky reaches his hand out towards your face, runs a calloused thumb across your sharp cheekbone and your lips part slightly at the gentle gesture.

“Gotta admit doll,” Bucky chuckles, humour bouncing around in those stormy eyes. “Was scared you were gonna bite it off.”

“There’s still time yet James.”

And doesn’t he know it.

***

“I’m obsessed with you,” you tell him in Tuscany – bathed in the golden rays of the sun, caressed by the tongues of grass you lay in and you look celestial – as though the gods made you themselves and sent you down as a gift to the earth.

“Obsessed?” Bucky quirks, that Brooklyn glint of mischievousness dots those beautiful blue eyes and he turns to you then.

“Yes,” you reply. “I don’t know what it feels like – to love I mean.”

Bucky pushes himself up on his elbow, drags a cool metal finger up your arm and your nerves dance beneath your skin.

“Well in that case – I’m obsessed with you too.”

And you smile.

***

He makes love to you in Positano.

It was beautiful. Patchwork buildings climbed the Cliffside in all colours – mustard, beige, coral. Scattered along the rock as though it were natural. It was the treasure of the Amalfi Coast – a diamond wedged between lands.

There’s a hotel room. It’s all Old Italian decor – fresh white walls, arched openings, oak curved doors and tile flooring in a burnt copper. An old renaissance style balcony overlooks a deep azure ocean that blends with the sky like paint on canvas, and it’s the purest Bucky has ever seen.

And he feels out of place in between the flimsy opaque drapes and the twisting bougainvillea, which wraps itself delicately around the wrought iron fence in all the colours of a bright summer’s eve.

He feels out of place everywhere.

“There’s this super dope pizza place down the street.” You break through his thoughts with that sultry voice – stop his heart when he sees you.

You’re wearing this pretty dress – buttoned up the front, cotton pink – and Bucky’s tongue catches in his throat like glue at the sight. Because you look at home among the magenta and fuchsia flowers that decorate the lattice with your silky hair and your smooth skin.

And you’re so fucking pretty it stings. Burns deep inside him and presses its weight against his head and he’s dizzy with you.

You smirk at him knowingly, drop the pizza box on the table.

“Like my dress?”

He throws you against the wall

Pushes your back into eggshell painted brick and claims your mouth in a hot searing kiss. It’s more passionate than usual and it takes them both by surprise, because they were both so used to the needy, nasty kisses – stolen in dark places to chase away the shadows.

Bucky’s hands run up your thighs, draw softly over the smooth skin until he reaches your waist – pink pooling over his arms and he lifts you, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist.

When he drops you onto the bed he wastes no time crawling between your legs, tangling his hands into your hair and you moan into his mouth – smile at his lack of patience. You grip his shoulders; feel the muscles quiver beneath your strong hands – the way he opens up to you.

The way he begs you to love him because he can’t do it without you – he would drown.

He travels down, pulls open the front of your dress and you gasp as a button flies off – cracks against the wall.

“James! That was the only pretty thing I own.”

“You’re pretty.” He replies, sucking a nipple into his mouth and you arch your back into him as his fingers crawl down your bare stomach. “You’re really fucking pretty baby.”

It makes you blush. It’s so unfamiliar to you – the compliments, the longing, the way he holds you. It’s foreign and unorthodox but you yearn for it all the same, you need it. And so does Bucky.

He slips his fingers past your folds, his metal hand coming to grip your breast and you hiss at the icy touch – at the way his fingers delve into your wetness and you pull his face down to yours once more, sink your tongue into his mouth and bury it in the warmth of him.

You want to feel more of him, you need to. You want him to fill all your senses; you want to be breathless with him.

His tongue rubs against yours as he fingers your cunt, slides in and out and you’re almost embarrassed at the whines he’s pulling from you. His vibranium hand comes up to cup your cheek as you spill your pleasure onto his hand, something snaps inside your gut and your legs quake.

“I need you,” you breathe to him, warmth brushing across his cheeks. “I need you inside me.”

You push his trousers past his hips, sink your nails into the firm muscle of his ass and he bites your neck – hard. You bleed on his lips as he buries himself into you, your blood smeared across his cheek like war paint and it’s fucking erotic and you love it.

You’re like a dream beneath him and he leans back to watch his cock slide into your velvet pussy, his nerves buzz and he tastes metal on his tongue, he tastes you on his tongue – raw, bare.

“Fuckin’ Christ,” he slams both hands beside your head, thrusts his cock into you as he chases after pleasure, after all he’s been longing for. And you clench around him, whine as you come all over his cock – blood streaking down over your breasts from the opening in your neck.  

You drag your tongue up his ear when he comes and it’s so fucking hot that he thinks it makes him orgasm twice. And you kiss him when he collapses on top of you, suck his bottom lip into your mouth and gnaw on it until he bleeds – grips your hip with titan force.

You chuckle, hum in delight as you lick his blood from his lips. “You taste nice.”

“God, you’re so fuckin’ crazy.” Bucky laughs, breathless.

“Normal women won’t satiate you soldier.” You throw your legs over his waist, plant firm hands on his chest and he loves the way your eyes glisten in the light of dusk – it’s captivating, all encompassing.

“Plus, you bit me first. I was just returning the favour.”

Jesus Christ he loves you.

***

You drag him up a clock tower in Florence.

People gasp and pull faces as you both scale the building but you don’t care – you drag his ass all the way up to the top to watch the stars over the city because you’re impulsive as fuc and he’s infatuated with you.

Bucky’s fingerprints are peeled off by the time you reach the bell, replaced by a raw stinging.  It’s old gold and rusted in parts but it’s beautiful. The sky is dark indigo, fiery lights smeared across the ebony blanket of an Italian night.  

“You made me come all the way up here to watch the stars?” Bucky pants, drops down beside you and watches the stars spill across your face as you scowl.

“You’re no fun,” you pout, bottom lip pillowed. “I betcha Tony would’ve done it for me.”

Bucky scoffs, sees green and he knows it covers him like a filtered light because you give him a smug smile before pecking his cheek.

Space is stretched before them, a promise of life even in the dark, and Bucky steals a glance at you and sees home. He sees the only woman that could ever full understand him, the only woman that can look at the darkness in him and bathe it in light.

“I love you y’know,” Bucky takes your face into his hands, sees the flash of shock in your eyes – scattered among the stars that sparkle crystal in your irises.

But it settles, and you smile when he pecks you. “I haven’t ever loved someone as much as I love you, and I don’t think I ever will again.” He turns back to look at the sky.

“Does it scare you?” your hand clasps the back of his neck. “If I say I love you too.”

“hey – we’re both monsters right?” he smiles.

“But we’ll get there someday.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #220

“as long as god in heaven dwell, your soul, your soul shall scream in hell.”

Would people consider you more immature or mature? It depends on the context. Emotionally, I think I'm considerably mature. As far as eligibility to be a proper adult goes, yeah. No. Would people consider you more funny or serious? I personally don't think I'm very funny, but I'm not super serious, either. Are you currently in love with someone? Who is this person? So... I'm quietly pondering over whether or not I'm just biromantic, not bisexual. I genuinely think I'm in love with my girlfriend, I do, but we have so, so little actually sexual experience that I don't know if "bisexual" fits me. I totally adore her romantically, I know that, but maybe sexually, I'm not into her? I don't know. It's hard for me to say because when I picture doing certain "things," I can't really tell what I feel. I don't take that as an "I'm not into it" though, considering I've wound up liking things with a guy I didn't think I would with anyone, something I only discovered by doing it. This whole situation was driving me insane a few days ago to the point I felt sick, but I've calmed myself out of it to where I've accepted I just have to wait and learn, being long-distance. I'm still entirely invested in us and am going to be honest learning about myself. I haven't actually talked to Sara about it and don't want to unless I come to learn this hunch has credibility. Which room in your house are you in? What color are the walls? My bedroom; light puke green, Why God. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Who got you interested in it? I don't really know about my "absolute favorite." It depends on my mood, really. I think maybe watching my favorite YouTubers tops the list, something Jason actually started with PewDiePie; or RPing, which I got into myself thanks to Meerkat Manor. Would the people you know say you have a nice singing voice? Barely anyone ever hears me sing, so idk. I personally feel my voice suits only few songs. Would you say most of your friends are older/younger than you? Ummm, good question. All but two are very close in age range, but most of my friends/closer acquaintances are kinda split around either side. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? Nope. Are you listening to music right now? If so, who’s singing the song? Yeah, I'm listening to Khemmis' cover of "A Conversation With Death." It's the intro song to that new game Man of Medan and is so badass. All the comments are like "came here from so-and-so's LP because this is epic" and same. What is your dream career? What inspired you to pursue this career? Probably meerkat biologist if I could handle the heat and was okay with moving, or paleontologist if I wasn't opposed to heavy travel. I love meerkats and dinosaurs v v much. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? No. What would you say is your favorite holiday? Why did you choose this? Halloween bc spooks and costumes and candy. Does it feel odd being around your friend’s parents? Why or why not? If I'm alone with them and don't know them very well, sure? What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Is there one in your city? Sonic, probably. And no, but in our neighboring city. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Is there one in your city? Olive Garden. See above. Do you ever take pictures with family members around the holidays? Mom pretty much forces it, lol... Have you ever thought you were adopted because of opposing interests? Y'ALL not kidding I legit asked my fucking mom if I was adopted in elementary school bc I thought she hated me one day versus my little sister lmfao. I went through a phase of feeling like she couldn't be "this mean" to her legitimate child. Are you more interested in indoor activities or outdoor things? Hm, that depends on the activities available. Most outdoor things are more fun, though. When is the next time you’ll see someone you’re crushing on? We were just talking a couple days ago about our next visit, actually. If I can financially, I'm probably coming up to see her for her birthday again, as that's when I have a decent break from school. Speaking of which, how many people are you crushing on right now? Lol I mean it's been just shy of two years, a "crush" doesn't cut it. Have you ever played Super Mario Bros. for Nintendo DS? Was it fun? No, actually. I didn't grow up playing Mario games. What exactly is your favorite gaming system? Do you have this system? The PS2. It had a giant graphical leap, contains SOOOOO many goodies, and you can still play PS1 games on it. How often do you talk on the phone? Who do you talk with the most? Very very rarely, pretty much only ever with my mom or dad. I hate talking on the phone. Do you normally do what other people around you want you to do? Depends. What does your trick-or-treat bag or pail look like? I don't have one anymore, but it used to be an orange, plastic jack-o-lantern. How old will you turn on your next birthday? 24... wow. What are your plans to celebrate? Probably just go out to dinner with family. What floor do you live on? I only have one floor. Do you have a balcony? No. What is your favorite fall drink, if you had to pick just one? None. Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? I've never watched it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? I'm pretty sure I was in my entire school career... Damn dude, proud. Were you a straight A student in math? HA hell no. I could get a C sometimes. Were you abused or do you know anyone who was abused? I wasn't, but I know people. Are you a Democrat or Republican, or neither? Neither. Independent. Who would take care of you if you needed surgery? My mom and dad, as far as bills go. Do you think you have an accent? Not really. Sometimes you can hear it, though. Have you been told you have an accent? Only when I was younger. I had a SERIOUS one. My family in NY couldn't even understand me sometimes, lmao. Where do you live (country or state)? North Carolina. If you could start a church, what would it be like? I wouldn't. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? Nah. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? Get a goddamn stable job. Do you know what your purpose in life is? Spreading the love and respect of animals and conservation. If you live in an apartment, what is the maintenance man’s name? N/A What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? Hypothetically, if I had/wanted kids, I'd enjoy carving pumpkins with them, obviously taking them trick-or-treating, autumnal crafts would be fun together, and watching Halloween/scary films appropriate to their age would be a nice experience. I'd decorate the house with them. Oh, a hayride would be cool together, I love those. AND DON'T FORGET JUMPING INTO LEAF PILES! I have a lot of ideas for someone who doesn't want to be a mom. Have you ever seen a fox? Yeah. At least one alive, a handful as roadkill. What color are the squirrels where you live? Brown. What do the trees look like where you live? Pine trees. Pine trees. What was the best vacation you’ve been on so far? Disney World as a kid. What is the best class trip you’ve been on? I really enjoyed the trip to Beaufort to an island of wild horses. The water was rough that day, and goddamn... watching the ocean in its aggression was unbelievable. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? UM, DID ANY KID NOT????? Do you find museums boring or interesting? Very interesting! Gimme a science museum and I'm SOLD. What are three issues you are passionate about? GAY RIGHTS, wildlife and nature conservation, women's rights and the pro-choice argument. What are three countries you have no desire to visit? North Korea, Iraq, and... uh... idk. I guess the Middle East in general. That shit's rough. Do you like your country’s flag? Sure? Stars r dope? Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? NO. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Oh. My. God. When I was on three Klonopin a day (I'm now on just one and don't even take it every day), I literally could not function. There was one day in particular (I was on three very briefly bc of this) where I just slept until evening. I physically could not stay awake. I remember I was in the middle of watching a Game Grumps' Mario playthrough, and I'd only last like, ten minutes before I HAD to lie back down, and I'd fall back asleep in like, a minute. That was one of the most awful days ever, I was miserable. Do you like bath bombs? Sure, they're pretty. Who is your favorite neighbor? I don't actually know any. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? He's not very small, I think he's at about a million and a half subs, but Timmy Timato is so fucking iconic. He is an Actual Mood. I have no interest in what he actually posts; I just watch for him. As well, Johnny Paranormal is cool; he's a fuckin awesome guy and is chill and relaxing to watch. I don't watch him religiously, though. Rarely, actually. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? HAVE U HEARD OF????? THE MARKIPLIER GUY??????? What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? I think it was the Pussycat Dolls, fuck off, don't say shit 2 me "Buttons" is still dope. Do you like Disney movies? Blocked & reported if you don't. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Man idk, I enjoy a lot. I enjoyed The Avengers, and Logan REALLY tugged at my heart. Do you have any credit card debt? I don't have a credit card. Have you ever been really late for work because you slept past your alarm? No. What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Swimming. What’s the longest you’ve worked without a day off? Probably like... two days, lmao. It's not like I have a lot of experience. Have you ever been scammed? I don't think so. Where were you the last time you kissed someone? The airport. How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well? It's fine. Do you struggle with acne? No, not anymore. Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? RP is definitely the "strangest." Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Are you the clubbing type? Definitely not. Never been, not interested. Bar goer? No. I don't trust strangers + alcohol, and I'd be really scared of being hit on. Song you can’t stand? I don't think there's a song I've heard that I hate more than "Welcome To The Machine" by Pink Floyd. Well, correction, "Friday" by Rebecca Black. That autotuned to all fuck voice is just... major ew. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? Jason is. Well, if he looks the same as last time I saw him, which was in 2017. Juan doesn't look half bad. Aaron's cute. What is unattractive about them? Jason: fucking communication skills. Juan: his reckless streak. Aaron: nothing that I know of, he's a sweetie and on a great path. Your hottest ex’s name starts with the letter what? J. Pick two highlighter colors: Yellow, Pink, Blue, Purple, Orange. Pink and orange. Has anyone ever written on you? Who hasn't been written on by friends with markers as a kid? Have you ever dated a fat person? Yes. Have you ever dated someone with a fine ass body? I mean this with total respect and love towards her: Sara's body is genuinely sexy. Her figure is amazing. Have you ever had any article of clothing tailored? What for? Yeah, for prom, as well as my sister's wedding. Do you welcome people back when they say they have returned? Yes. What are two foods you think taste good with whipped cream? I fucking hate whipped cream. How long would it take you to walk to the nearest fire hydrant? I've never paid attention, actually... Do you own anything that has the words or picture of ‘mustache’? Well my Mark tribute tat has the Iconic pink mustache on it, and the texting screen background on my phone is also a pink mustache collage-y thing lmao. When you see a feather on the ground, do you ever pick it up? Yeah, sometimes. If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? On a burger. How would you feel marrying the man you love who has already a son? I don't love a man, and I wouldn't marry anyone with a kid. Have you ever played Roller Coaster Tycoon? What did you think of it? No, but I had SeaWorld Tycoon or whatever it was called. I loved that game. When you are chopping onions, does it really affect your eyes personally? I've never cut an onion myself, but when I'm in the proximity of someone doing it, I feel mild irritation. How long can you hold your breath for? Is there anyone who is better? Idk, I don't feel like testing it. When was the last time you had a pet goldfish? What was its name? I couldn't even try to guess. Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. Do you enjoy mayonnaise with French fries? Why or why not? Um that sounds disgusting. Did your last significant other have a huge temper? Actually, he warned me that he can and he was nervous about me ever seeing it. I, thank Christ, never witnessed it, though. I would've broken the fuck down, I can't handle angry men. What was the topic discussed in the last meeting you attended? I don't know the last time I went to a "meeting." Honestly, when’s the last time you genuinely liked someone? Now. Are you Team Jacob, Team Edward, or you just don’t care? I've never been into Twilight, but I find Jacob way more attractive. Do you like it when questions are long and make you think? Yes. Have you ever had love at first sight happen to you? No. Do you think Avatar is really all that great? I'm assuming you mean the movie and not TLA? I never saw the full thing, but I would love it. Love or trust? Trust, I think. You can't love someone in a healthy fashion if you don't trust them. What do you think about sexting? Not about that personally. That'd be so awkward. Have you ever done it? Those days where RP mating scenes on YouTube were over private message, timeskipping wasn't a thing... oh boy. It WAS uncomfortable. Would you ever swim with dolphins? Yeah! Have you ever believed a stereotype? Probably at some point. Have you ever tried marijuana? No, though tbh I probably would (but not through smoking it) for anxiety and panic attacks if it was legal in my state. Is there any reason you should be in jail right now? Can you go to jail for illegally downloading, or it is just a fine? Idk. Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? I mean, it was decent. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Latin. That shit was so hard. Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? Yes, for panic attacks. What’s something that’s much more difficult than a lot of people realize? Heartbreak. Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Yes, but Mom played a larger role. Did any of the classes you took in high school count towards uni credit? No. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair. Do you plan outfits? "Not unless it’s a special occasion." <<< Are your parents strict? No. Would you go sky diving? Probably not. I'm afraid of heights, and I'd be really scared the parachute wouldn't deploy. Who sits behind you in your math class? Quite honestly, a bitch. She always has shit to say under her breath. Do you have good vision? No, it's awful. When was the last time you watched a show for people younger than you? Last I was with Sara. We're watching Avatar: The Last Airbender together. Have you ever snuck someone into your house before? No. Is there something your significant other does that bothers you completely? She's competitive and admits to it. A lot, particularly in writing, is a "mine needs to be better" thing. When was the last time you kissed someone on the cheek? When I saw my niece and nephew at my nephew's birthday party. How many best friends do you have? One. Did you ever get bullied as a child or were you the bully? Neither. Would you rather eat grape or strawberry jelly or jam? GRAPE. I hate strawberry jam/jelly. Do your parents ever send you to do their grocery shopping for them? No. Do you know anyone who has a speech impediment? I don't think I do personally. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was like... 11-12 or so, maybe? Possibly younger? Have you ever had a significant other who hit you? Fuck no. Do you own any exercise machines? No. Do you still leave/receive voicemails? If I need to, sure. School leaves me voicemails sometimes if I miss a call. Do you live in your hometown? No. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? Not very festive, but I mean, I enjoy 'em. Did you/Will you attend college? I'm back in college now!! You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? Sad. Listening to music fitting my mood helps me feel related to and not alone. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? YouTube recommendations. Do you watch the news? No. What hooks you to a television show? The most important thing is A GOOD PLOT!!! It needs to be really interesting to me, bc I do NOT get into shows easily. As for funny shows, they need to be fuuuuunny. I don't think I could ever get "hooked" on a show again, though. I just don't watch TV. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Yes. On the morphine occasion, it didn't do jackshit. I don't think they gave me nearly enough. Is there anyone that makes your skin crawl? The #1 thing that most fits the definition of "skin crawling" to me is seeing a fetus move from outside the stomach, especially the further the mother is along. It's fucking alien-esque and actually makes me scream and panic. Are people more likely to tell you to tone it down or to speak up? It can be either. Do you have a dining room in your house? No. Do you know the alphabet in any other languages? Very close to all of German's. I blank and aren't sure on a couple. How many people have you had sex with? One. Have you ever been surfing? No.