#[they're always reaching out to each other put never touching. never truly holding and securing each other to the person]

[kkkindered]

Onyx/Antares for @astra-stellaris

MOODBOARD MEME.

Read the tags. I worked hard on them lol

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

White Lies (Pt. 19 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 1.8 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

<- Previous part (18)

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{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

{John Wick Masterlist}

×

Keep You Warm

Smiling at Liam's little giggles, you keep hiding your face behind a pillow before pulling it away. The silly play has Liam laughing for minutes now, lying on his belly, holding his head up. You and Keanu are on your bed, with the baby in between the two of you.

“Where's the baby?” You ask, pillow covering your face. “There he is!” Pushing it away, you let him see your face again, and another giggle warms your heart. Liam is always happier when you and Keanu are together.

He turns his head away, to Keanu, before laying his head down. “He's tired.”

“God, I am tired.” Whining a little, you turn to lay on your back, looking at the ceiling. “I didn't get any sleep tonight.”

“Why?”

“Thinking a lot.” You decide to tell him, and you're sure it's quite obvious what you've been thinking about.

“You need to rest, beautiful.” Reaching out his hand, Keanu touches your cheek, and you don't push him away anymore. Or flinch. Or feel uncomfortable. You're slowly growing closer again, and it's happening through the last few weeks.

“I know but now...” Pushing yourself up, you sigh. “Laura wants to go shopping so I must accompany her.” Despite having no trouble looking after Liam 24/7, Keanu is still working less than usual, always from home, making sure you have time for yourself. “Will you be alright with Liam?”

“Sure. Go and buy something nice for you.”

“I don't need anything, Ke.” Getting off the bed, you blow Liam a kiss when he turns to look at you. “I'm still using your credit card so I'll only buy stuff I need.” Your job is still secure, thanks to your very awkward relationship with Keanu Reeves, but your doctors still haven't allowed you to go back. The headaches still happen, and some migraines have you basically knocked down in bed all day, in the dark, hoping it'll pass soon. So for now, Keanu is paying for everything you need.

“I'm telling you to buy something. See it as a gift.”

You can't help but smile as you make your way to the bathroom. “I won't spend your money for no reason.”

“And that's why I enjoy going to the mall with you.” He complains, and you can feel the eye roll. You know what he means. Keanu always manages to convince you to buy anything he sees you admiring for too long.

“I'll buy ice cream, maybe. Or a burger. God, it's been so long since I ate fast food.” The diet is still being followed, but today you'll drop it for a few hours.

“Don't go too crazy.” He warns as you peek your head into the bedroom, toothbrush in hand. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Shrugging your shoulders, you giggle. Keanu won't let you do anything the doctors say would be bad. He's still quite overprotective, and you find it very cute... But there's no way you'll let him know that.

Half an hour later you're off, kissing Liam's cheek and waving at Keanu as you get inside the cab. Hanging out with Laura, when she's shopping specifically, takes hours. So you not only get the ice cream and the burger, but you also have dinner at a restaurant at the mall.

You get back home too late, after ten, so you shower and feed Liam before rocking him to sleep. He's already sleeping in his bedroom and the only bad part is that you have to walk all the way there when he wakes up during the night. But other than that, he's adapting pretty well. After making sure he's on deep sleep, you leave him, carrying the baby monitor with you downstairs where you watch some TV. Laura said something that had you thinking.

She and Keanu have developed a friendship thanks to you, and whenever he doesn't know what to do when you're involved, he calls Laura. And she said he called her someday last week, asking if he was moving too slow or too fast with you. You don't think it's fast at all, he pretty much fell into the same thing he did when you first got here. Allowing you to set the pace, never pushing it, always putting you first.

You find it sweet that he calls her for help, since Laura knows you very well, from before and after the accident. She always tells you though, when he calls and tries her best to put you both on the right path. The one that leads to what you had before. Being together, only this time it would be real.

Taking a deep breath, you can't take the cold anymore, so you turn the TV off and head upstairs, tiptoeing. Rubbing both your arms, you shiver as you walk through the hell. A sudden clicking noise startles you, and your eyes immediately move to Keanu's bedroom, finding him by the door. “Hey.”

“Is everything alright?” Always worried.

“Yes. I was watching TV.” Shyly, you make your way over him, standing before the man. You'll never get used to how tall he is, and you can never ignore how much you like being so smaller compared to him. “But it's really cold.” You manage to say, nervously giggling because you shouldn't think these things. Not anymore. And not until whatever this is, gets a name. “Look.” In a quick motion, meaning to annoy him a little, you sneak both your hands under his shirt, touching his abdomen. Keanu flinches a little, a low chuckle leaving his lips.

But then you realize what you just did, how you have your hands against his body. Blushing and looking down, you clear your throat. “Sorry.” You whisper, starting to take your hands off Keanu when he grabs both your wrists, forcing you to stop.

“Wait until your hands are warm.” His voice is so low you have to pay attention to bring sense to his words.

You really shouldn't... But you can feel the heat irradiating from his skin, and you're so damn close it feels like you're a magnet, being pulled towards him.

And so you move, stepping forward, hands sliding from his abdomen all the way to his back, your fingertips taking in the sensation of touching his skin again. Then you're hugging him, head on his chest as his strong arms hold you close, tightly against his body as if he's scared you could run away at any moment.

You should, but you won't. Being this close to Keanu is inebriating, like an addiction, and you've been self-restraining for far too long. You need his touch, his body. Him.

Eyes closed, you stand on your toes, moving so your face is close to his. When his lips brush on yours, it feels like fireworks start exploding on your stomach, and you know you won't be able to step back now. And when he softly starts pulling you inside, you have no choice but to follow him.

But when he moves away a little, to close the door, you snap, falling back to reality. “I can't, Ke... I can't.” You mutter, holding his arm as he comes to stand before you again. “I thought we were married back then, and we're not so... I just can't until...” Until what? Would Keanu make it real? A real marriage, give you his surname. So you'd be truly his, and he'd be yours?

“We don't have to.” He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand. “Just stay here. Let me keep you warm.”

His voice has power over you, so you nod, letting him guide you to the bed, where you climb on after putting the baby monitor on the nightstand. But your eyes are searching for his lips in the dark, longing to at least look at them, as the memories of the many kisses come back, from the first, next to his new bike, to the very last, in Liam's birth.

“Ke...” You whisper, pleading.

“What?” He remains seated, as you sit on your legs, the darkness hiding your heated cheeks.

“Kiss me.” You beg, feeling some tears filling your eyes. You love Keanu, and it hurts to keep this distance. “Like before. Just... Just kiss me as if none of this mess ever happened. As if we belong to each other.”

Keanu doesn't wait for you to say anything else, he just moves, big hands delicately pulling your legs until they're laying over his. Then, his lips come crashing down on yours, and by the fast pace, the need and heat, you can tell he was suffering too, longing for this moment.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you part your lips a little more, allowing him to deepen the kiss. You forgot how amazing he tastes, and you know now that you won't be able to go through long periods without kissing him. It's like a matter of life and death. Like a bare necessity.

When you pull away to breathe, Keanu lies down and you do the same, facing each other. His arms don't let you go, keeping you as close as possible. “We do belong to each other.” He says, softly rubbing the small of your back. “At least I do, (Y/N), you have my whole heart, it's yours.”

“I love you, Ke. You know I do and everything I want is to leave the past behind. I forgive you.” Grabbing a fist full of the soft fabric of his shirt, you feel some tears rolling down. “I forgive you.”

“Be my wife, (Y/N).” He bursts out, and it makes you look into his eyes. “I love you, (Y/N). I want what we had to be real.”

“Yes.” You mutter, more tears rolling down. “I want to be your wife, Ke.” Kissing him again, you only stop when Liam's soft cries reach your ears.

“Someone's hungry,” Keanu says, already getting off the bed. “I'll bring him here.”

“Alright.” Moving into a seated position, you smile to yourself.

This isn't how you thought the night would end, but it's far better than anything you could've imagined.

It doesn't take long until Keanu is back, giving you Liam as you pull down your shirt and bra. You can't help but smile at how respectfully Keanu averts his eyes. Liam quickly starts sucking, eyes shutting close. “Ke, I... I will tell Liam about Daniel, but... You know you're his father, right?” You decide to say it because it's true. Daniel couldn't be here, and Keanu has been taking care of both you and Liam since the beginning. And you know he'll keep doing so. “I want you to be his father. I know he's not yours, but–”

“I love him as if he's my own.” He cuts you off, moving closer and caressing Liam's cheek. “And I'll take care of both of you, for the rest of my life.”

Smiling, you pull him close, kissing him once again.

For the first time since this mess began, you feel at ease. Truly happy. And Laura was right. It's far better to let things go and chose what makes your heart happy. And you're glad you had it in you to finally step and make this decision.

×

@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina @playboygeniusphilanthropist @partypoison00 @mariafetamina @fortheloveoffanfic @trin303 @june-harris

[yandere-society]

(ex)fuckboy maknae line hcs trying to convince the reader they're willing to settle down for her but the reader keeps refusing, not believing them.

admin / author: @an-ambivalent

Warning: This post contains yandere themes, abusive relationships, and the characters display other behaviours that can be triggering or uncomfortable to read. This is not for the light-hearted so read at your own risk. I do not believe any of the mentioned members would display any sort of this behaviour in real life and I do not condone this behaviour either. This work is purely fictional. 

A/N: hello, I sort of used your prompt as a loose guideline. I tried to stick to what you asked for but some scenarios differ slightly from specific details of the request just because I think its good to have this scenario lead to various endings through different choices. Nonetheless, I hope you like it! 

Jimin

It began with pleas. 

“[Name] please, just listen to me,” Jimin begged, and he forcefully cornered you to the quieter side of the bar. He calculatedly situated you in between his body, and the wall to make sure you would not be able to get away. 

He hovered over you threateningly, and it was a position you had long forgotten. However, just like unclean wounds that heal on the surface but deteriorate once they get exposed to the right stimulus once more, Jimin had returned in your life as the infection that would worsen the damage. The scars he left behind had not healed and now, would never heal because he was ready to inject the sick in you once again. 

His touch lacked warmth and felt utterly icy – it was like sleeping with someone with hypothermia – he was going to steal your warmth for himself and then leave you shivering with his own coldness. 

The long forgotten memory of his hurt had remained ingrained in your muscle memory. This was because you instinctively flinched as he grabbed your face with both of his hands firmly, and made you look up into his eyes. 

Pathetic and utter desperation clinging onto the last remains of his sanity was strangely lustrous in his eyes. 

“Baby, you haven’t been replying to my messages… That’s… You know I don’t like that,” He started, and as he spoke, his voice gradually lowered and his eyes narrowed into a glare. Momentarily, he ended up applying a bit more pressure on your face, and you visibly winced. Immediately,  Jimin eased the amount of force he was applying on your face that could have potentially injured you. 

“I, I’m a better person now so I’ll look over that this once. But I-I’m here because I’m ready to settle down with you now. I’m a changed man now I-I swear! I won’t exploit your trust ever again and I’m ready to commit myself. So, you’ll give me another chance won’t you [Name]?” He stammered, and although he was not gripping your face like a tyrant anymore, there was a dangerous glint of the devil etched in his eyes. 

You shook your head. 

“Doesn’t matter what promises you make now Jimin, it doesn’t change the toxicity and hurt you left me with. I– I can’t trust you, not after you cheated on me–” 

“I only did that because I loved you too much! Because I was scared that you were so good for me 

and that I was going to lose you!” He proclaimed, and in response, you scoffed. Fear forgotten, and with a new burning fire in your heart, you shoved Jimin off you. 

“Go take that bullshit to someone else who’s stupid enough to believe you!” You snapped, and turned to walk away. However, Jimin grabbed you by the arm, and roughly pulled you back to him. With his warm breath fanning your ear – it was the warmth that he had started to seep off you without your realisation until this very moment when the cold shivers prickled your skin – his whispered threats killed the newfound determination you thought you had discovered within. 

“I warned you I would only overlook you ignoring me that once. Do it again, or disobey me again, and I’ll upload your private little recorded videos from when we used to be together online.”

(Taehyung and Jungkook under the cut!)

Taehyung

The air in the atmosphere was tense, and the fact that Taehyung’ was close to reaching his breaking point, was evident in the way his irises were empty of emotions. 

What was supposed to be a night of fun, something that would help you destress from all of the other ongoing stress in your life, had turned out to be the opposite; the situation was dire, and its’ twisted plot had just manifested the distress you wanted to get rid off in the first place. 

“You thought I was just a fling?” He asked, and the way he spoke it was posed like a usual question, but you knew better. Beneath his seemingly calm state, there was a volcanic fury on the edge of bursting. The lack of emotion in his voice – a rare phenomena for Taehyung, made you gulp in nervousness. And this nervousness only manifested when you abruptly became aware of the fact that you were having this conversation while you were bare. 

Feeling conscious about the physical aspect of your nakedness was never a problem with Taehyung. With his guaranteed experience that came hand-in-hand with his reputation of being a playboy, it never left any room for dissatisfaction. But much more than that, unlike with anyone else you had ever been with, he always took his time to appreciate – almost worship each aspect of your body. The concept of insecurity was nothing but a fleeting dream in the moments you were involved intimately with him. However, that was not the case right now. So, you could not help but pull the sheets around you closer to yourself, hoping they would provide you with some sort of comforting security. 

“I– You can’t blame me for that can you? With your reputation, how am I supposed to think of this as anything else other than a fling?!” You responded, and the unintentional accusatory tone in your voice, caused Taehyung’s fingers to twitch in anticipation. 

He really hoped you wouldn’t test his self-control again because he could only hold himself back for so long. 

“I told you I loved you, and you said it back.” 

“I– I thought it was an on the spur of the moment kind of thing,” You admitted sheepishly, and then all Taehyung started to see in that moment was red. 

However, before he did something that would have worsened the situation for you or even himself, it was fortunate presently that you were willingly and had decided to speak just in the nick of time. 

“I’m not opposed to becoming serious but I– honestly, I still have my doubts so if you’re willing to prove your loyalty and give me the time I need then we can try,” You offered honestly. Although, your suggestion was not his optimum response, it was better than what you said to Jimin in another alternative universe. 

So, knowing that the situation could be better, but also could be worse, Taehyung decided this was okay… For now. In due time, once he proved himself to you, you were going to give him all of you, and nothing less. 

He gave a smile that was strained ever so slightly. 

“Sure, I’ll wait for you and do whatever it takes to gain your trust. I hope you willingly put the same effort that I do too.”

Jungkook

“You don’t really think you can leave without my permission, do you? Tell me you aren’t that stupid [Name],” Jungkook said, sighing. Then, he rubbed his temples as if to say that dealing with your shenanigans again was a headaching chore to deal with. 

You bit your lip and shifted your gaze to the ground. The small packed bag you held in your hands that consisted of your necessities, was close to slipping out of your grip because your arms were trembling. Whether this was due to sorrow, fear, or both – you did not know. 

“I, I don’t want to be with you anymore Jungkook. I can’t be with you! No matter how much I try to move on from what happened, I just, I can’t deal with it, it’s not healthy for me. You’re not healthy for me. P-Please just let me leave,” You pleaded, and the amount of unease you felt while pleading this, made you feel queasy. 

Jungkook raised an eyebrow and scrutinized you with a  judgemental stare, before he scoffed at you. 

“How many times have we done this now? This is the third time you’ve brought it up. I told you I’m sorry for sleeping with others behind your back, and I promise I won’t do it again. What else do you want me to do?! I can’t go back in time and change the past. Get over it already,” He snapped, and you winced at the harsh loudness of his voice. 

“Why are you so awful–” You started, but Jungkook cut you off. 

“Why are you always nagging me about this? Did you ever stop to think that I slept with others out of my respect for your wishes?! You were the one who wanted to wait for your first time, so I respected your wishes and gave you the time until you were ready and fulfilled my own needs with someone else. And it meant nothing! Each time I slept with someone else it was always you I imagined, and after you became ready to sleep with me, I became ready to settle down with  you,” Jungkook stated, and to him, what he said made perfect sense. He could not understand why you kept on bringing this up and not understand it by now. 

And he was right in the way that you truly did not understand the logic behind his absurd reasoning. If anything, his logic left you feeling completely flabbergasted. The fact that he did not see anything wrong with his actions, and simply apologised for the sake of apologising and did not mean a word of it, repulsed you so much that you lost your touch with reality and were unable to grasp it. 

Seeing the frozen look on your face prompted a sigh out of Jungkook, as he walked towards you. He grabbed your bag out of your hands with one hand, and one of your now free hands with his other. 

He guided you back into your shared abode, reminding himself to arrange something that would prevent your attempts of escape permanently. 

“It’s late at night, let’s sleep on this and talk about it tomorrow,” He said. 

Jungkook decided he either had to lock you up so you could not  get access to your belongings or any money to escape in the first place. Or he would need to induce memory loss to make you forget about the whole sleeping thing so you would stop bringing it up and live together with him in peace. 

—-

I sort of associated fuck boy thing = cheating in this ;;

I sort of wrote and edited this (both) while being half-asleep so that may have contributed to some of the poorer writing ;_; I hope you enjoyed reading it nonetheless! 

[shadedrose01]

64?

Author Note: Happy Pride Month everybody!!Know that no matter your gender or sexuality identity, you are welcomed and loved ❤🌈🌈🌈❤

I hope you all enjoy!

Note/Warning: I've never written a trans character before, and this deals with negative self thoughts and dysphoria (a dead name is also used, but is crossed out). If there's anything I've gotten wrong, or if the way I wrote it is insensitive and/or incorrect, please please please let me know and I will try to fix it/delete it. 💞

Also sorry that its bad aosmskka

--

He let's out a slow, shaky breath, staring at his knuckles which are slowly turning white from his tight grasp on the marble counter of the vanity in his bathroom. He glances up once, catching a quick glimpse of stormy grays, surrounded by dark purple circles, of long, too long blond locks, of a face too rounded, too clean, and his face instictually scrunches, his gaze dropping as his eyes burn, more rivers slipping down his cheeks as his mind screams at him, 'wrong, wrong, wrong-'

He squeezes his eyes shut, more liquid escaping as his body, curved and top heavy and wrong, heaves in a silent sob. He cant keep doing this, he knows. Cant keep living this lie, cant keep pretending. Knows that why he texted that morning, why his boyfriend was in the living room right now, waiting for him to come back out, probably getting worried at how long he was taking-

But goddamn it, he was scared. He was scared shitless. Not because he thought Peter would hurt him, no no no, he would never hurt him. But because he didnt know if he'd stay once he knew.

And Peter... God, Peter means so much to him. Peter, who stayed with him through every up and down, who held him close after he cried for hours and hours when his mom died, who he's sat with and laughed for hours, until his stomach aches and happy tears will rolling down his face, who's been with him- well, he thinks he's a her; even the thought causing his stomach to churn and another sob to shutter through him- for almost 2 years now, having started dating in 9th grade when they were both new and baby faced and young, so so young and naive, and-

And Harley- not Hailey, no, no, no- didnt know if he could lose him. Didnt know if he could handle it if Peter looked at him in cold, hard disgust and walked out, never looking back. But it's a very real possibility. He knows some people cant handle transgender people (he's trans, it's still a revelation for him even after all these years of hating himself and wondering why, even after figuring out what trans meant a few months ago, even after realizing he was that last month, it was still weird, still new to him), much less date them.

And from what he knew, Peter was straight. And Harley wasn't a girl. He was almost sure that Peter wouldn't stay, because why would he? He wanted a girl, thought he was dating a girl, but Harley wasn't a girl and-

He shakes his head, opens his eyes and wipes his tears away, taking a deep breath. No more time for second thoughts, he just- he just has to go out there, say it, and- and see what happens. He swallows down his fear, straightens his back, and unlocks the door, walking out.

He makes his way back to the living room, where his boyfriend ('for now' his mind tells him, 'he'll leave, he will') is still lounging on the couch, sprawled out and relaxed, scrolling on his phone without a care in the world, unknowing of the secret, no, the revelation that was about to  dropped, that was about to ruin their night and relationship. He glances up when Harley walks back in, and gives him a warm, familiar grin, his coffee eyes sparkling and shining with the same abundant amount of love as he always has when staring at Hailey and it causes his chest to squeeze, his heart to hammer worse, his hands to clench. Because thats who he thinks he is, thats the facade of the human Peter knows and loves, hidden under lumps and curves, unknowing of the true him lurking underneath.

"Hey baby, is everything okay?" He tilts his head, and his smile dims a little, his irises swirling with a worry, a concern now that Harley doesn't deserve, Peter doesn't deserve this, doesn't- he can't do this, he can't- "You were in the bathroom for a while." Harley swallows, and stays silent as he sits down, back ramrod straight and head down, focusing on his hands sitting in his lap, squeezing and unsqueezing over and over in his nerves, his fear. At least, they were, until another hand reaches over and plants itself on top of them, causing Harley to flinch slightly. "Hailey, what's wrong?" Peter sounds scared, now, scared and confused and Harley's heart aches but he needs to do this, he needs to.

"I have to tell you something." He finally finds the strength to whisper, his voice high, too high, and squeaky, a current of self hatred pumping through his veins as he longs for it to be deep, to be normal, to be him. "And it's- something big, and I get it if you want to break up with me afterwards, or hate me, I get it, I do, trust me-"

"Hailey," he squeezes Harley’s hands with his own, trying to be reassuring but his words, the name- not his name, that’s not his name- makes Harley flinch again, and his face scrunch up as tears burn at his eyes, making his view of their beige carpet floor blurry. "You're scaring me, princess, talk to me. What's going on?"

"I'm not a princess!" He blurts, then, loud and irrational, Peter reeling back in surprise, his eyes wide when Harley jerks back up to stare at him just as his tears start to fall.

Peter pauses, clearly trying to think of the best way to go about this, before he leans forward, face focused, serious and voice cautious, as if Harley was fragile, dainty, breakable. "Okay. If you didn't like the nickname, you could've just told me, Hails."

"No! That's not-" Harley rubs at his face, rough and harsh, scrubbing away his tear and rubbing his face raw as he croaks out, all of the fight rushing out of him. "...I'm not Hailey, Peter."

He hears a scoff from beside him, but its gentle, more bewildered than anything else. "Yes you are, I've seen your birth certificate, I've met your parents-"

"I'm a man, Peter." He forces out, finally, finally, the words slipping through his teeth like air, soft, low, barely a whisper, but its enough, enough to shut Peter up completely, enough to make Harleys eyes and heart squeeze as he continues, "I'm not Hailey, because I'm not a girl. I'm a man. I'm- I'm transgender, Peter."

His chest convulses in a sob as soon as the words escape him, and a multitude of emotions rush over him, but he can't tell what they are, can't distinguish if they're  panic, fear, concern, or if they're relief, joy, a weight off of his shoulders. Maybe its a mix of both, swirling and making his stomach churn as they sit in silence, the rock forming in Harley's stomach getting bigger and bigger, heavier and heavier the longer Peter doesnt say anything, doesn't move, doesn't breath or blink or anything. He squeezes his eyes shut again, turning away again, shoulders tense and heart aching. He can't bare to look at what he knows will be disgust and anger on the love of his life's face. He can't. "I'm sorry. I- I know this isn't what-" He hiccups, tears still rushing down his face and trembling his chest, his breathing ragged. "What you signed up for. I under- understand if you can't deal with it, if you- you want to- to-" He breaks off into sob, harder and heavier, leaning forward and curling into himself more, just as Peter finally, finally responds.

"No, no no wait, no, that's not-" A hand brushes at his arm, and Harley jolts again, but Peter doesn't pull away, grabbing onto his forearm gently, softly, his hold loose enough for Harley to break if he truly wanted to. "I would never, baby. Never."

Harley freezes, blinking his eyes back open and glancing up at Peter, who's looking back at him with- with honesty, with compassion, and care, and love, but- but that doesn't make sense, he- "You don't- don't mind?" He murmurs shakily, searching Peter gaze for any hint of a lie, but he can't find any, can't find any hostility, or hatred, or anger at all. Only understanding, and truth.

"Of course I don’t, Haile- uh, I dont-" He stumbles and fumbles for a second, and Harley can't help the small chuckles that bubble in his chest before he corrects, "Harley." Peter nods, looks contemplative. "Harley. It suits you." Harley can feel himself beam at that, a smile twitching at his lips and his eyes crinkling. "Of course I don't care, Harley." Peter, his boyfriend, his soulmate, he loves him God he loves him, repeats, looking straight into Harleys eyes and past his physicality, into his heart and soul, into his being. "Man, woman, both, neither, I don't mind. Whatever makes you happy."

He can feel more tears pooling in his eyes, but for a completely different reason this time, his chest warming and swelling with adoration, with love and security and comfort, but he just, he has to make sure- "Are- are you sure?"

Peter softens, and reaches a hand over to cup Harley's cheek, and he leans into it immediately, seeking his touch. "Of course. I don't love you for your body, Hai- Harley. I love you for your heart, and wit. For your stubbornness, to put your foot down for what you love, for your patience, to be able to deal with me every damn day," They both chuckle then, light and airy, but real. "For your temper, to tell me off whenever I need it, for your confidence, and the way you can command a room just by walking in. But, in general..." He curls a strand of Harley's hair behind his ear, still too long and straight and not him, but its less noticeable now, when the other man is staring at him with the biggest, sappiest love eyes in the world. "I love you for you. You. I love you." He presses gently into the dimple on Harleys cheek for each you, and he can't hold back the tears anymore, the waterworks bubbling over and running down his cheeks like waterfalls as he sobs and rushes forward to crumple into Peter's arms, who are open and waiting for him, and cradle him as soon as he arrives, pulling him closer to his chest.

"Thank you, thank you." Harley repeats, over and over, his cheeks aching from his smile and his chest bursting with his joy, and happiness and hope and excitement and love, overflowing with it, causing it to compass him completely as he switches his words, to emphasize and mimic the way he feels. "I love you, I love you, I love you so much."

And Peter just holds him close, one hand rubbing up and down his back, the other running through his hair as he presses a kiss to the side of his head, and murmurs "Of course, always. I love you too."

Once his tears finally stop, Harley slowly dozes off in his boyfriends arms. Once he wakes, they'll discuss where Harleys pronouns and where wants to go next, they'll start to plan his transition, buy him binders and book hair appointments and do all of the things Harley longed to do for years. Harley will slowly, but surely, become himself, all with Peter at his side. But for now, he slowly eases into sleep, feeling joyous, comforted, loved and accepted.

[dapper-ships-herself]

@dokiqx @raudrfox2

The answer changes a bit depending on the s/i, so I'm gonna start with more general and like personal and then go into my s/is.

Dazai and I both, let's say wrestle with certain feelings about life and the world around us. When it feels like you're adrift and very little matters, it helps a great deal to have someone to ground you, and that's Dazai and I for each other. When the world is cruel, we can reach out our hands and feel the warmth, and through that feel safe and real. Neither of us are used to letting ourselves be fully vulnerable to the people around us, we're always masking something, maybe not for entirely the same reasons, but we are. Our relationship is when we both let those walls fall bit by bit, letting go of fear and trepidation. He never even thought he could feel real love before, both of us had thought we weren't worthy of it.

And Dazai is a genius, he's amazing and confident in his abilities, he can see straight through pretty much anyone, so I think why would he even want me, I'm so boring and predictable, I'm not a fan of taking risks and putting myself out there. But Dazai sees all my good qualities, he appreciates my strong empathy and my compassion, he sees how even though I struggle with my own worth I put so much worth into the lives around me, and I have a fun way of thinking about a lot of things, I'm creative bright even when I think I'm not. I become like a fresh, sunny spring day for his soul. And Dazai, his hands are so stained and his mind so jaded, even as he works to redeem himself and be on the side that saves people, he thinks there's too much darkness to ever truly be washed away. But I know that even though he's done a lot of bad, what matters most is what he's doing now; he's trying so hard to be good, to move away from the darkness that only acted as a negative feedback loop for him, that was never good for a boy with a mind like his. He is actively trying to be a good man, and I remind him of that. Neither of us are ever going to be perfect, but that's fine when we're together through our flaws. And through it all, we help each other see the beautiful things to live for.

Okay, now let's go into some specifics for the s/is.

ADA! Gillian has been through some pretty deep trauma with the loss of her little sister when they were kids, and at the time she thought she'd never ever recover from that and stay in the emotionless darkness forever, but with the help of Fukuzawa and Ranpo and the other agency members, she was able to heal. Despite the guilt and trauma that still sticks to her, how easy it would be to write the world off as simply cruel and uncaring, that's not her style. She loves the world, she loves the people in it, she knows that there's darkness but that only means that the rest of them should try their hardest to spread as much love and compassion as they can to balance that out. To Dazai, her unwavering light is strange but so calming. She's so strong in her determination to protect her family and everyone and everything that needs saving, it really touches something in him. She teaches him that it's okay, that they deserve to laugh and love and live, and she helps show him how to actively view the world for it's good parts. Even if someday it's hard, some days she's sad and can't forget the past, some days she tries very hard to push away the anger that festers in her at the unfairness that abounds, she still tries and now they can stand by each other's sides and try together. And he also knows what it's like to suffer and lose the one person who's most important, and he helps her confront the guilt that still clings to her, in fact that's something mutual. And she also, even though she accepts and appreciates her ability for how it lets her help people, it's also an ability that takes away a person's free will and can cause a lot of destruction, and she is afraid of the inherent evilness of it, and though Dazai respects how she's made the concious choice to only use it to help people, he sees her fear and helps her accept it.

Mafia! Gillian and Dazai probably have the most complicated relationship of all. Neither really wanted friends or saw the use of them, but they became each other's first real friend after he joins the mafia. They connect and resonate in a much stronger and more natural way than either were really prepared for; and then they were part of the quartet with Ango and Oda too, and she loved them all. She could be quoted as saying the three of them were probably the only things keeping her sane in the Port Mafia. And then she went away on a mission for a few weeks, no contact with her friends, and suddenly that little slice of joy she had was shattered, Oda was killed, Ango had been a double agent the whole time, and Dazai had abandoned her without so much as a good bye, much less and explanation. It sent her to a dark place for a while. She wanted to hate Dazai, and she certainly felt bitter, but she couldn't bring herself to hate him; how could she, really. She disliked being in the Port Mafia, but not only does she feel she'd have no where else to go, that if she left she'd be leaving her father, Ougai, aka the only person who's ever seen to genuinely want her around and stay that way, but her ability is literally to control darkness and too much light literally causes her pain and discomfort, it's clear to her that she was born to forever stay in the world of darkness and never be able to stand in the light. When she and Dazai eventually meet again four years after he left the mafia, there's a lot of complicated feelings too work through. She's bitter and angry and can't understand why he'd leave her like that if their friendship really meant anything; Dazai thought it was the right move at the time, he justified it to himself by reasoning that he knew she felt chained to the mafia and he had to leave quickly and cleanly in order to successfully rid himself of his dark past, he couldn't risk waiting for her to come back from her mission and having to convince her. But, really, he was afraid. After all, he's convinced that everything he desires will slip through his fingers the moment he obtains it. If he tried to hold on to the happiness she brought him and selfishly took her with him, he'd only bring her ruin some other way, and he wasn't deserving of her. He genuinely does regret it though, and it's not easy for him to admit that he was wrong but he knows that this is one instance where he was so terribly wrong. They have to work through these feelings in order to get anywhere, and she also has to realize that she does have the capability to step into the light, which she does partially with Dazai's help. There's a lot of fighting through the bullshit to finally be together.

Jekyll! Gillian takes the stuff mentioned earlier about always masking some part of ourselves to the extreme. Her ability, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, literally manifests her jaded view of the world into a physical creature of chaos, aka Hyde. And she rejects Hyde hardcore, that's why she's so unstable, destructive, and difficult to control, as well as hates her in return. She puts on the sugariest of sweet faces to try and mask this darkness, but Dazai is able to see it. He recognizes her mask easily, because he's basically doing the exact same thing. Eventually, after a lot of plot haha, they're able to help each other let go of their facades a bit and better accept themselves for who they are. They find this kinship in each other that honestly makes it easier for them to let go of their guards at least a little bit. They both hold a lot of jaded darkness with themselves, and they've both done some pretty terrible things and dirtied their hands, him in the mafia and her in the Order of the Clocktower, and they were both able to break away from that to try and become better people, and that's really nice for them to be able to relate to each other.

Circus! Gillian is, true to the name of her troupe the Circus of the Disillusioned, disillusioned about much of the world. It's dirty and cruel and not on your side. But, the circus always promoted family, the whole reason Voltaire formed the troupe was to attempt to not lay there and accept their wretched fate, that they as humans should try and create at least small pockets of a world more right and colorful. And this ideal stays with her. So yeah, they're both not huge fans of the world, but she has a more innate desire to change that, and she believes it's the duty of humans to fight through and not back away from the world through means like suicide (does that make sense? Trying to word it properly). So she actually is pretty, hm, disgusted is too strong of a word to use, she clashes a lot with Dazai's suicidal jokes. And she's too tsundere and jaded herself to outright be all flowery ~I will help you~, but that sort of discussion is a theme between them early on. Their abilities are foils for each other as well, Dazai is an ability nullifier, she's an ability amplifier, and that sort of reflects their views too.

Guild! Gillian at first seems to have the most innocent view of the world, after all she's rich and spoiled by her father, Francis. And she acts rather carefree too, like someone who's always been secure and never known difficulty. But she has known pain, and there's more than a naive rich girl beneath the surface. She's cunning and knows how to read people, she's been trained in the art of business since she was a child and had it drilled into her that you must never roll over for the world. She's also been taught that she's the daughter of the great Fitzgerald, which means she's meant for greatness too, and she hides it from her father but that's left her with a desperation to prove herself and live up to a great big shadow. But she's genuinely kind too, she loves the world for it's flaws and wants to support the people in it. So yeah, they're ways of thinking clash a bit, but at the same time they work perfectly in other aspects. At first, it's more like he's interested in her for the sort of contradictions she poses, but he starts to genuinely respect her and admire how she chooses to see kindness and work for it, how she takes things in to her own hands to make the world she sees in her mind real. And she respects him for his intellect and eventually for his resolve once she learns of his past. And respect is pretty much the bud that will bloom into love.

There's a lot of fighting to find the light in the dark and acceptance of ourselves.

I hope this was all coherent and not to rambly ha.

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

Love Is Alive Jim Mason x Reader 2/?

A/N: Hell I actually suprised myself on how this chapter turned out! Let me know what you guys think I would definitely love feedback fram ya all!

When I was a little girl, Miss Alexander would always tell me to not be afraid to fall in love one day when I grow up. Sounds weird, huh? But no. That's what I thought at first, but I was wrong. Those words have stuck to me for as long as I can remember. To fall in love. Hmm, sounds like every little girl's dream, huh? To meet her prince, and to ride off into the sunset on a white horse. Yeah, while most little girls would dream about that, mine was different. But it's been years since Miss Alexander said those words to me. But I still take these words to heart. Those words have got me to where I am now. And let me tell you, it may not be what you think. It could be, but who knows?

I didn't realize how much it could affect my life until I truly set out for reality.

Flashback…

"One day, when you meet a boy that you like, take the chance. If he's the right one for you, and if you're the right one for him, don't let that chance slip away. There are only so many boys in the world, but only one that is perfect for you. There is a boy out there perfect for everyone. But one of the keys to having a good life, is a good relationship." Said Miss Alexander.

I raised my eyebrows. So, this was coming from a lady who isn't married. Hmm, interesting.

Miss Alexander continued in a soft voice. "So, Y/N. Just don't be afraid to fall in love."

I continued to stare at my reflection in the mirror. Millions of questions ran through my head. Who was this girl? Who is this girl that I'm staring at? This isn't me. I don't recognize myself anymore. Why am I suddenly feeling all these feelings wash over me? Who am I now? Why is my heart still thumping with an intensity? What was going on? What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling like this? Why am I suddenly feeling… like I have fallen in love?

I shook my head granted some years had passed since I had Jim Mason but it seemed as if out of nowhere all these feelings rushed up out of nowhere. It had barely been 24 hours since our encounter at The Stage On Broadway and here I was feeling like a giddy teenager.

I stared at my face in the mirror. I could still feel the heat on my cheeks. And I could see it too. It was a rosy shade of pink - a shade that meant only one thing.

Even I couldn't answer my own questions. I had theories, but I just can't accept them...

When people start feeling like this, it's a sign that they're falling in love. But no. I am not falling in love. I can't. I just can't…

'Don't be afraid to fall in love'

The words never left my thoughts. Never. I am not sure if Miss Alexander had her own personal meaning to it when she explained it to me 10 years ago. I just couldn't understand what the words meant. 'Don't be afraid...' Afraid? Afraid of what? Afraid of other people knowing? Afraid that someone will get hurt? I always told myself that falling in love is the last thing you wanna do. But now, I just can't listen to myself anymore.

I think, for the most part, I have fallen in love. But I just can't tell people yet. Things like this are made to be shared when you are 100% about it. I knew I was 100% sure of my feelings, but I just didn't have the guts to spill it out.

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing, I didn't recognize the number but had this gut feeling I needed to answer. “Hello?” I then heard his warm familiar voice on the other end. “Hi Y/N I wanted to let you know it was good seeing you last night you looked great.” I felt my face run flush, how had Jim managed to get my number? “Thanks, it was good to see you too.” I replied sheepishly. “I umm wanted to ask you….” Jim hesitated for a moment to form his thoughts “If you would like to meet for coffee maybe?” Wait Jim Mason was asking me out on a date? “Sure I would love to.” I responded a lot calmer than what I actually felt. “Meet me at the east side coffee shop say 7pm?” “See you then” after a few more brief words we hung up, I couldn't help the almost ridiculous smile that graced my features it felt so surreal.

I never knew love could feel this way. But what do I know, this is the first time ever that I have fallen for someone. And it just so happens to be Jim Mason. But after replaying the words over and over in my mind, it was easier to accept than ever before.

You love him, Y/N. You know you do.

NO. I tried to get rid of those thoughts because I knew it was right. I just didn't know how to run away from them. I was thinking about how stupid I was for thinking that I was in love with him, but then I knew I wasn't stupid because I do love him, but I don't know what to do...I don't know if I can do anything...

I don't want to love him.

I want to love him.

I can't love him.

I do love him...

'Don't be afraid to fall in love'

I am not afraid, but should I be?

I'm not afraid of falling in love, but I am afraid of giving my heart away, and getting hurt. But what use will that do?

*****************************************

Jim and I sat across from one another in the cozy warmth of the coffee shop. I wanted to speak up but my mind was running a million miles a minute. I felt him reach for my hand, somehow I felt so secure... his touch so warm so gentle.

“Y/N, I-I like you. I like you a lot.  You're such a sweet person, and such a good friend." He inhaled deeply. "S-So what I'm trying to say is..." Jim trailed off, struggling to find words.

I looked at him, nervously, hoping that what I thought was about to happen, was really and truly happening.

He sighed to himself and looked at me. "I'm falling for you.

I stared at him, as millions of thoughts and emotions ran through me. I felt my heart pound, making my ear drums shake. My mouth felt so dry, and my fingers were trembling. I began to get all uptight and self conscious. Did Jim Mason just say what I thought he said?

The insides of my body were twisting and turning. I was a nervous wreck.

"I hope this doesn't put a hold on our friendship." He said after a moment of silence, then he sighed and looked at me. "But Y/N, I really am falling for you."

I love you

When those 3 words finally came out, it was as if 20 pounds were lifted off my shoulders. After all that time, I finally said it. After all these years Jim Mason finally knew I do in fact love him.

He continued to look into my eyes. And before I knew it, the space between our faces was getting smaller. Jim was leaning into me, his face was coming closer to mine by millimeters. I felt my breathing come to a stop, but I didn't back away. I knew what was happening, but I didn't close my eyes. I stared into his blue eyes as he became closer to me. As each second went by, our faces became nearer and nearer to each other, our noses, our lips...

He was about to kiss me.

“Jim..." I whispered weakly, but I could feel the eagerness rise up within me.

Our lips were coming closer…

He bent down, his lips against her cheek, brushing it lightly—and still that light touch sent shivers through her nerves, shivers that made her whole body tremble. "If you want me to stop, tell me now," he whispered. When she still said nothing, he brushed his mouth against the hollow of her temple. "Or now." He traced the line of her cheekbone. "Or now." His lips were against hers.

"Or—"

But she had reached up and pulled him down to her, and the rest of his words were lost against her mouth. He kissed her gently, carefully, but it wasn’t gentleness she wanted, not now, not after all this time, and she knotted her fists in his shirt, pulling him harder against her.

When he finally kisses my mouth again, everything goes oddly quiet, like the moment of silence between lightning and thunder. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. Four Mississippi. Five Mississippi.

Bang.

We kiss again. The next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It steals my breath and gives it back. It shows me that every other kiss I’ve had in my life has been wrong.

I’ve had a taste and realize I’ll never have enough. He’s everywhere up my back and over my arms and suddenly he’s kissing me harder, deeper, with a fervent urgent need I’ve never known before.

Chapter 1...

Credit to owner of gif

@michael-langdon-appreciation