#[tbh i might slowly transition to script based writing like i used to do in film... but i wanna give the characters justice]

[mariipun]

Adventures of Wally & The Gang (plus their Caretaker)

Keep A Level Head

Warnings: None. Humor. Just more silly antics. Inspired by the anime “ Aggretsuko”.  

Word Count: 834

Brief Description: The Welcome Home cast is alive, living alongside humans. You have been contracted as their Caretaker. Our dear Caretaker has been running around all day, working hard. On top of your daily administrative work, you also have to babysit tend to the colorful ensemble of actors, plus all the other studio employees, who can’t seem to do things on their own.

[Not sure if this constitutes a WH!Muppet AU scenario?? Not sure how to tag it haha] 

“Care! Hey, hey! Care--?! Hey! Caretaker! Heeeeeeeeeey!” Julie wails, following behind as you try to ignore her and focus on the task at hand.

No matter how many times you try to address the blonde, she pulls you away from what needs to be done, to what she wants to do. It’s become a bit of an irritating habit, although you’re convinced it’s her hobby, to distract you from your job so you can entertain her grabs for attention.

“Not now Julie, I have a lot of work to do, but I promise I’ll do whatever it is you’re wanting once I’ve got more time—”

“No, I need you now. The new dress I had ordered still hasn’t arrived and I—”

You drone out her increasing insistence, beginning to pick up the pace as you swerved through the crowd of studio employees and other puppets. Unfortunately, the moment the others sight you, the choir of:

“Hey Care—”

“--need you here—”

“Can you fix—”

“Get me some—”

You stop in your tracks, feeling Julie bump into you from behind. With your binder tucked close to your chest, your hands tighten around it. The overwhelming demands from the maintenance team, stagehands, cameramen, and puppets made you fume. It was obvious from your face how feelings of annoyance had now turned into full-blown anger. You tried steadying your breath, feeling the heat prickle at your cheeks, and reminding yourself to remain professional, you need this job, it pays the bills… it pays the bills…it pays the bills….

“Hold on!” You boom, causing the voices to settle. You stand your ground, steeling yourself as you take a breath. “I am extremely busy right now—” You strain, each word slow, with brows furrowed and jaw tight. “Sooo-- I’d appreciate it if you all stop pestering me for a moment, because if I hear one more per—”

“Hey, Care?” Barnaby interjects, poking his head out of the restroom door.

Your mouth shuts, head snapping around to look at him. “What?!”

“I clogged the toilet,” Barnaby responds monotonously, thumb pointing toward inside the restroom, as water slowly began trickling its way outside.

The grip around your binder tightens even more to the point you felt like you could have ripped it in half. Your eyes narrow into a glare, tight lips twitching up into a menacing grin.

“So uh… could you fix it?” Barnaby probes, moving away from the slow leak of water pooling around his feet.

“Please excuse me for a moment…” You seethe, quickly and silently moving your way toward one of the audio control rooms, knowing the padded walls would shield your outbursts. Upon arrival, you slammed the binder down onto the script stand, causing it to wobble and tilt over.

That was the last straw.

You bring your arms up, flailing them around as you release your rage. “What the actual [redacted]?! I just need to do one [redacted] thing! One thing! But nooooooo--! I can’t catch a [redacted] break around here! And why the [redacted] would Barnaby clog the toilet?! PUPPETS DON’T EVEN NEED TO USE THE [redacted] TOILET?!”

You heaved, palming your forehead for a second before sliding your hand over your eyes. You took a few deep breaths to soothe yourself until you heard an audible click and the sound designer over the two-way speaker.

“You, uh, okay in there?”

You drop your hand down to your mouth, eyes darting open to see not only the sound designer but a few of the puppets and two other employees who followed you to your location, staring at you from behind the glass.

You stared back.

Julie had arched a brow, crossing her arms over her chest in disapproval.

Wally’s half-lidded, unwavering, eyes peered at you. “Those are some naughty words there...” He commented, his voice crackling a bit through the speaker. Though, reading his expression you could tell he was a bit amused.

“Yes dear, you really should watch your language.” Poppy chimes, as everyone else in the sound room nods in agreement.

Standing there for a moment longer, you finally gave up. Picking up your binder and setting the script stand back up in place, you walk through the door into the sound room, staying silent as Barnaby stepped toward you with a plunger in hand.

“I found this if it’ll help with the toilet—”

You didn’t say anything as you walked past him, only extending a hand, and swiping the plunger from his grasp. You moved on through the exit.

[BONUS]

Barnaby and Wally both stood outside the restroom door, peering in and watching as you muttered curses under your breath and violently plunged the toilet to unclog whatever ungodly thing Barnaby stuffed in there.

Wally: “So, uh, Barnaby?”

Barnaby: “Yeah lil’ buddy?”

Wally: “What did you put in there?”

Barnaby: “Just a bunch of leftover doughnuts from the spread table.”

Wally: “…Why?”

Barnaby, shrugging: “Wanted to see what would happen…”

[For scientific inquiry]