#[survival is the only way: john-paul]

[survivalxofxthexfittest]

Who: Open

When: April 24th, late night

Where: Rosie's diner

The dark had become his solace. The quiet his peace. Solitude his sanctuary. Having largely been ignored since the takeover should have stung more, and if he was being honest it did, but he'd grown accustomed to being overlooked and forgotten long ago - the burdensome Rose a seemingly unsolvable problem that was easily discarded. He knew he was truly uneeded. He just needed to make sure all his ducks were in a row before he left them - regardless of how little they would notice he couldn't silence the love he held for each one.

It was in the still of Rosie's diner that he found refuge to plan his escape, ironic as it may be. His flashlight was propped up on the table like a lantern, it's light casting a wide net across the ceiling. The sporadic crunch of his snack and the scratch of his pen against paper the only sounds to break the silence of the night. Notes filled his frayed notebook - lists of items for Charlie and the newest member of the Rose family, letters explaining himself to those who mattered most, roads and routes no longer viable, names alongside cliff's notes statistics for each one. It was everything he needed to plan and couldn't afford to forget, some things already scratched out and done.

The soft sound of footsteps coming across the atrium did little to interrupt his tranquility, nor did the arrival of their owner. "Grab yourself a plate," he motioned toward the counter without so much as a glance their way. "There's more than enough to share," he added of his food, one of the many perks of being a general under Sada meant food, good food, whenever he wanted. "Don't worry. I won't snitch," he assured them going back to his notes.

[myriadxofxmuses]

Which lover are you?

Tagged by: @emmaxmeyer

Tagging: @townshaped , @savagecuhnt , @apurekindness , @reevezs , @lunarruled , @amongxthexcrowd (for any of your other babes), @huntrcssqueen , @ruinedsoulsrp , @abrvcadvbra , @lostxones , @waveofstars , @sweetsirenitas , @heartxshaped-bruises ,

John-Paul / Adam

The Composer

To you, love is something created. It is born and it is nurtured, and it is entirely intentional. What could be more beautiful than that? We possess the enigmatic power to create deep, impossible, meaningful bonds with other people. It is not something we should take for granted. We choose to care for each other. We inconvenience ourselves with the sheer enormity of the love we have for others. In your eyes, it is the deliberate nature of love that makes it so beautiful.

Ivy

The Poet

To you, love is unlimited. It is an endless currency of infinite shapes. It is in everything, the way people hold onto each other's arms when they laugh, the way they cry when saying goodbye. You wish to possess the power to express love in all its forms, but the complexity of it simply won't allow for that. One should always make their love known.

Oscar / Ethan

The Painter

Love is everywhere to you. It's in the shadows under people's eyes and the ghost of their laughter. You profess your love quietly and slowly, it trickles out of you in colourful streams. To you, love is a powerful, monumental thing that runs deep through every creature on earth. It is a force to be reckoned with.

Petronella / Emily

The Sculptor

To you, love is not a fixed concept. It is fluid and ever-changing, and we possess the ability to shape it around ourselves, and create rich lives filled with love of our own design. You revel in the breathtaking beauty of the concept of love. The way we shape its course in our conversations and our gifts, the things we do for one another and the thoughts we share.

[survivalxofxthexfittest]

Who: Open

When: Late hours of April 1st/early hours of April 2nd

Where: Rooftop

Not a thing had gone as expected. Not a thing. And it had all started out so well. But when he'd found out the only people he considered family kept things from him - Big things. Lied even. - he couldn't stifle the overwhelming feeling of betrayal that tightened his chest over the omission. No matter the fact that he understood and even agreed with their reasoning. Worst of all, it made him feel like a failure as a brother knowing Charlie felt like she had to hide her pregnancy from him. Or that she was even an iota similar to their mother.

Where had he gone so wrong?

The whole evening brought up a lot of shit he'd long thought forgotten and the building became more claustrophobic than ever. It was times like this that made him miss the freedom to leave the most. Right or wrong, John-Paul best processed things alone and with the world now conatined solely within the walls of the Wexley it was almost impossible for him to disappear anymore. The roof at least gave him enough space to breath a little.

He was glad when he found it unoccupied after leaving the Rose family meeting. He made his way across the rooftop to the banister, only swaying gently as he walked. He leaned on the railing with a sigh. He was going to be an uncle. A smile tugged at his lips and he took a drink. Maybe the night hadn't been all bad. Charlie had gotten knocked up by Roman though, so maybe it had all been shit.

JP had been lost in thought over what it all meant under the circumstances when the sound of the door shutting broke his focus. "Hate to break it to you, but the show's over," he said bitterly without even bothering to look back at who'd interuppted him.

[myriadxofxmuses]

Tagged by: @conscriptur

Tagging: @savagecuhnt , @reevezs , @innxcentfaces , @lostxones , @kit-just-kit , @emmaxmeyer , @amongxthexcrowd , @lunarruled , @townshaped , @renegadetulis , @ruinedsoulsrp , @huntrcssqueen , and YOU

once you're stripped clean, what's at your core?

Ethan

behind the mask

you aren’t slick about whatever you think you’re hiding. glass shatters in your midst, blood spills, children scream. like some of your friends, your personality of choice is entirely artificial. the difference between you and them is that you can get away with it. you’re unknown, perhaps even to yourself, and your goals are complex and unknown. anyone stupid enough to fall for you is setting themselves up to be frustrated and confused, owing to your being ultimately unknowable. i hope you can find an identity that makes you comfortable.

John-Paul

silent admission

in tarot, the fool is numbered 0 – the number of unlimited potential. as the protagonist, he is ever present and therefore needs no number as well as no introduction. the world revolves around you in ways that i can't begin to describe, though you'd shrug it off if i were to begin to explain. i need you to know that time is running out. if you want to get this done, you need to start now. sloth is your greatest enemy in this world, and you can only run so far from the opposition when you start with such a disadvantage. keep your head high, yeah? the kid you were is still in there somewhere. you need to show him that it was worth it.

Petronella

cauterizing rage

the house has burned around you, and you’re the only one left standing. is it gratifying to be the survivor? fear and anger are weapons in your capable hands, used only to serve your agenda of fighting back when deemed necessary. you're a powerful person, built from the ashes of your despair and your family's mistakes. with time, you'll bloom into someone softer, like the full blossoms that grow each spring and wither away with the leaves in fall. they won't disappear if you take your eyes off of them. you're enough.

[survivalxofxthexfittest]

Who: @pxtitxrosx

When: May 17, 2008

Where: Apt 301/on the road again.

The apartment was so fucking quiet. The world outside still in the throes of waking, even the birds barely making their usual racket. John-Paul was soaking up the calm, smoking a morning cigarette, loving the solitude, planning his day - a very long one that consisted mostly of work for Sada, day trip included. This wasn't his first rodeo picking up a package for her, and usually he would have already been on the road, but it was Charlie's birthday and JP couldn't think of a better gift for her thirteenth birthday than a little getaway. So he was bringing her along.

He took his last drag and put out his cigarette, waving the lingering smoke away as he got up to go wake up his sister. "Hey," he said softly, shaking her gently. "Wakey wakey. It's your birthday," he went on, rousing her from her slumber. "You're getting one of your gifts early so get ready and come to the kitchen," he told once he was sure she was aware enough to hear him, giving her an excited smile before turning to leave her room.

[survivalxofxthexfittest]

@thedevilworksharder

[myriadxofxmuses]

My boy needs some love and I have high muse for him fr. Any takers?

Cliff's notes bio:

John-Paul Rose, 36, lives in Manhattan, drug dealer/Uber driver, has an older brother and younger sister, homosexual (but his sexuality is not known to the world because he is closeted. Has had girlfriends in the past to help cover it up further, so could also now.) Has a fucked past and has never fully healed his traumas.

[survivalxofxthexfittest]

Who: @romanxdrake

When: April 7th

Where: Rosie's diner

The blow up between the Rose family - blood or otherwise - had been worse than he could have ever expected. He hadn't talked to either Charlie or Jeremiah since. Mal either. And the only reason he and Ash had words was because of the serendipitous meeting they'd had the next morning. Otherwise they too would not have spoken. John-Paul was still fucked up over his only friends, Sada included, keeping something so monumental from him, but he wasn't keepng his silence out of malice. He could, and would, enventually forgive them all, but he couldn't get past the feeling that they would all be better off without him.

His meds were damn near out which meant he was going to be harder and harder to control. His sleep was minimal, insomnia taking over each night and the lack of sleep caused his stomach to turn at the mere mention of food. He couldn't quiet his mind long enough to even try and forget the last six months of Hell he'd been through. He was doing his best, but he was falling apart. And his uncontrolled disorders weren't exactly ideal for a newborn to be around - no matter how badly he wanted to be the best uncle he could for Charlie's kid. Hell, he would have loved to have been one to Jeremiah's kid if he'd ever had one. But he knew things would only end badlt for him. Like always. He figured removing himself from the equation was the least he could do. But that didn't mean he didn't still care about their well being. Especially Charlotte's.

Lately his appearances in the diner had become more and more infrequent, but when he'd caught sight of Roman heading inside he followed. His eyes darted to his sister behin the counter and his heart broke even more. He felt like such an asshole for avoiding both her and Jer, but what had to be done had to be done. He averted his gaze before she caught sight of him and headed over to where Roman sat, taking the space across from him. He folded his hands in front of him on the table, nearly white knuckling his grip as he fought the urge to punch him right then and there - blaming him just as much as himself for the fall of the Rose family

"Get a good breakfast in?" he asked, truly uncaring whether or not Roman had acutally been fed or not.

[myriadxofxmuses]

I know I haven't been here as much as I would like and am slower than ever but I'm working on getting back into things. I've been working on drafts to get them ready to queue so have faith a little while longer. I appreciate all the patience.

But, I am also bringing in a couple new muses....

John-Paul Rose and Petronella Lovelace.

So feel free to hit me up about their info while I work on their bio and stat pages.

[survivalxofxthexfittest]

@pxtitxrosx / @knoxlovlth

hurt MY sibling and i WILL kill you

[survivalxofxthexfittest]

Who: @ashton-ryder

When : April 12th

Where: Ash's new home

Eleven days.

Six months of living Hell and it had only taken eleven days for his entire world to implode. Jeremiah was bitten. Charlie was knocked up. His best friends were held captive at the hands of the woman he called mother. And now he was left with no one but himself to rely on. Somehow an even scarier thought. He could count on less than one hand those who'd seen this side of him. However, the depth to which he could fall had always been his and his alone. No one had been blessed with the opportunity to see John-Paul truly at his worst.

Until now.

There was no need for him to hide the beast within anymore. No reason to fight back against the control it had always wanted. If he wanted to survive - if he could even call it that anymore - he no longer had a choice but to shut everything down and succumb to the numbness. He'd worked so fucking hard to keep his demons at bay and away from those he loved, but now....well, now, what difference would it make to keep playing nice? His anger had been quelled long enough and would now be set free. The monster everyone seem to believe he was would soon be unleashed upon the world within the Wexley. He just wished it had been under different circumstances with different people - his hurt never ending despite his acceptance of thier fates.

His grip on the tray of food shifted as he prepared himself to come face-to-face with Ashton. The one person, aside from Charlie, he always thought was the light at the end of the Rose's very long and dark tunnel. Especially Jeremiah's. The man who, until recently, he thought he could tell anything to. One of his most trusted confidantes. An outsider to the family whose own mother had been the one, true piece of normal he'd ever felt. The Ryders had given him hope by making him a part of such unconditional love.

It was just too bad he'd been wrong. About everything. This life was his normal. It always had been. If he had just accepted long ago that he was rotten to the core instead of trying to be the good person he wanted to be, then he could have avoided the shattering devastation his heart sustained when everyone's lies came to light and opened his eyes to the reality of who he really was.

Hector unlocked the door for John-Paul and stepped aside to let him through. The usual chaotic and bubbling energy that usually followed the middle Rose had become nothing more than a memory of his old self. The John-Paul that stood in front of Ashton was cold and unmoving - his presence alone seeming to suck the air from the room. The tension of his unpredictability that now followed him couldn't have been thicker. And while hurt could still be seen in his gaze, if one looked hard enough they could see the emptiness behind his eyes as it swallowed it, leaving behind a void filled with only empty darkness.

"Lunch," he said flatly as he made his way inside Ash's room cell to set the tray down on the bed. "Don't look too far into it, but I managed to get you a Milky Way," he told him, the unspoken apology loud and clear. "It's the only one you'll get so make sure to savor it," he added, the warning just as silent as his apology - John-Paul sorry for his past, but not his future nor what he would do from here on out.

[survivalxofxthexfittest]

ways your muse says i love you - all

From X

John-Paul and Ethan definitely say it through acts of service. It is very hard for either of them to express their feelings with words, love especially, so they prove it with actions. It might not always be grand gestures, but little things like remembering your coffee order and bringing you back one when they go for a drink run of their own. Or offering up dashing a favorite meal if they notice their person is a little off. Or showing their vulnerability by actually letting someone in - sharing any part of their past a dead giveaway here for both men.

Despite her aversion to most things affectionate, when Petronella loves someone, and is confident the feeling is reciprocated, she does not hold back. She tells them every chance she gets. She makes sure they are as happy and as safe and as loved as can be. Sometimes she can be a bit much, but she means well.

Oscar is, shocker, pretty traditional in his ways with women. He isn't shy about telling the one he loves how he feels, but anything more an acceptable amount of PDA is reserved for the bedroom. He is a gentleman. He is very caring and is a bit of a romantic at heart, so even though he doesn't have the most experience with long-term relationships, he definitely makes up for it with his sweetness in one.

Emily is very caring when she is in love. She shows it with a mix of words and actions and isn't afraid of falling hard and fast. She loves love, so she willingly runs with things - which she knows can come off a bit aggressive at times, so if she really really loves someone she does force herself to dial it back to avoid scaring them off.

Charles hasn't ever had anyone in his life other than his parents that he's loved, so he wouldn't know what to do if he ever found it. It would honestly be just like everything else in his life - no big deal and temporary. It will take a special person to make anything last with him.

Madison is a romantic at heart and loves the idea of finding love, but realistically she doubts she will ever find it. But she most definitely would shower her love with gifts and acts of service and would tell them frequently. And they'd live happily ever after. Like living in her own romantic comedy. It would be great, but she's not holding her breath.

[survivalxofxthexfittest]

@ashton-ryder

@insainted

— Jennifer Niven, All The Bright Places

[myriadxofxmuses]

@lostxones

John-Paul looked at himself in the mirror for what seemed like the thousandth time. His heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. His skin felt buzz from the excited energy coursing through his veins. He tugged and shifted his shirt as he tilted his head to see it from different angles. He messed with his hair to get it just right.

Needless to say he was nervous as fuck.

But it wasn't for what one might think. He'd known Mateo a few months now, thanks to the fateful Uber fare he'd accepted, and he felt at ease with him. And while he could admit he wouldn't mind being a little more than friends, he was fine with remaining that way. So it hadn't been his smoldering attraction to Mateo that bothered him. Or the fact that he was considered a plus one for the event. It was publicness of it all that had him on edge. John-Paul wasn't exactly as open about himself with others like he was with Mateo and no matter how irrationally it may have been, he was terrified of being found out.

He took one last hit of his joint before tossing it to the wind and handing over hisbkeys to the valet once he pulled up to the event space. Smelling of weed as he might have been from the smoke, he was willing to risk offending the other patrons. There was no way he would have made it through the entire evening without the helping hand to calm his anxiety.

His eyes scanned the room, spotting Mateo by the bar and heading over. "Hey stranger. Buy you a drink?" he greeted him playfully.