#[sorry if anything doesn't make sense. i'm very tired my sleep schedule is fucked up and i have a major headache ❤]

[eohachu]

Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game.

Ali tagged me, thanks. I guess 😘 @lanzhansmiles​

A’ight so I’m simply taking this as an opportunity to show off my frankly impeccable taste 😌 *coughs into the crook of my elbow with my mask on and from a safe distance* More under the cut, godspeed!

I’m tagging uhh I really don’t want to expose anyone but uh. @morifinwes​ @ttaechwita​ @sunshine304​ @treemaidengeek​ @flamingwell​ no pressure tho!!

Since 2006

Janina Fautz: Die Wilden Kerle, anyone?? Tbh i had a crush on quite a lot of the characters/actors but in hindsight Janina was and is the most influential one. Also probably my first ever girl crush (again, in hindsight bc it took me until 3 years ago to finally find out i’m queer lol)

Eva-Maria May: Yeah well I’m not gonna talk about where I know her from let’s say it was an incredibly bad soap opera my mom used to watch. She was one of the reasons why I went Yeah I Have Always Been Into Girls. I was pretty obsessed with her to the point where mini me secretly printed out a photo of her to look at lmaooo the signs have always been there and it’s truly amazing how I had been missing them for years

Amy Adams: Her as Amelia Earhart in Night at the Museum was also definitely a huge Thing to young me. Again, I had been completely oblivious about this crush for years

David Luiz: HAH! This is the point where we do NOT get into my football/soccer crushes bc this list would get WAYYY too long hahaha. I had to cut loads of people from my list for this post bc I develop a new celebrity crush every 5 minutes basically but yeah. David Luiz was definitely my biggest football/soccer crush out of..... everyone else

M*rvel

I don’t have a lot to say about any of them since I’m not into m*rvel anymore TFATWS makes me want to stick the tip of my toe back into m*rvel waters but otherwise NO THANKS

Sebastian Stan was, if my judgement of my archive is right, the longest highkey celebrity crush I’ve ever had. Mostly because I love Bucky a lot and he was so amazing in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I must’ve had a crush on him for as long as I had been in the m*rvel fandom

Recent Past

some celeb crushes from last year that were all more or less short-lived tbh

Ester Expósito: As it often goes I didn’t find her spectacular in the beginning but as Élite went on I started to develop a huge crush on her. I still find her pretty hot but I’m not invested in Élite so yeah..... I have no object permanence

Mina El Hammani: Got to know her through Élite, too. She’s so incredibly beautiful. Had a hard time choosing a photo of her bc I’d stare at every single one for ages. Wow.

Danger Days!Gerard Way: Hah! The ones of you who’ve been following me for longer might remember my posts about wanting to dye my hair neon red. Well, him’s the reason and also clinical depression. Ended up with natural red/ginger bc my hair is too thin for bleaching lel. ANYWAY

Maxence Danet Fauvel: Pretty short-lived crush from my Skam days

Ramy Moharam Fouad: So Ramy has a brother, Tamino-Amir Moharam Fouad, who makes INCREDIBLE music. Ramy made some of his music videos (directed them? not sure), that’s how he came to my attention. Idk man he’s just so incredibly beautiful.... gives me a hint of genvy, too......

Janelle Monáe: Became a fan when Make Me Feel came out, listened to the entire album for days and eventually inevitably crushed on her

Lera Abova: Saw her in ANИА and fell in love. I screamed to my friends for weeks about how she was the most beautiful human being I’d ever seen etc etc. Eventually my crush went away mostly, but I still think she’s stunning

Keiynan Lonsdale: Keiynan said FUCK gender and I said 😍😍😍 and that’s all you need to know.

Current

*deep breath* alright let’s gooo

Bright (Wachirawit Chivaaree): Crushed on him for as long as I watched 2gether/Still 2gether lmao. I still like him a lot and sometimes lose my mind over him but I’m not exceptionally Thirsty™

Tul (Pakorn Thanasrivanitchai) and Max (Nattapol Diloknawarit): If you search either of them on tumblr you will have to scroll for a long, long time to find seperate photos of them. However, I’m not patient enough so here we are. Re: Tul, actually I want to copy/paste what Ali said bc DAMN a man who is confident about his masculinity and sexuality really is kinda hot. Same goes for Max tbh. Also Max’ lips look so soft I [redacted]

Lukas von Horbatschewsky: Also known as Lukas Alexander. He did an amazing job in Druck and he’s just a person I admire in general. As one of the few out trans actors in Germany, he had a main role as a trans boy in Druck and also co-wrote Druck’s seasons 5 and 6. He’s just a huge role model to me and, apart from that, Big Crush Material (h i s  e y e s)

Li Wei: Someone suggested him as Hua Cheng for the TGCF live action and my life hasn’t been the same since. While I’m open for whoever will get that role in the end, I could look at his face for hours and not get bored. Major Genvy, too.

Li BoWen and Liu HaiKuan: I will have to deal with these two in one paragraph bc LanLan bc they have the exact same effect on me which is. that they’re not 100% my type but I WILL go absolutely feral about them at regular intervals, if you know what I mean

Song JiYang: ohh honey. oh honey.......... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have a natural affinity for aquarius ppl and this one lives in my heart rent free. I’d even make him soup if he’d ask.

Wang YiBo: WELL HOLY SHIT. listen. LISTEN! the hype around him is 100% justified imo he really is That Bitch and I love him so so much for it. Fucking ICON

Honorary Mentions: Gender Envy

Here’s to the People I Thought I Had A Crush On But Not Quite until I learned the word Gender Envy:

Zhu YiLong: Man, this is the person who’s mainly responsible for me finding out AT ALL about not being entirely cis. The POWER he holds!!! His performance as Ye Zun in Guardian was like a breakthrough point for me which. certain people witnessed in real time hahaha oh I love this fandom!!

Zhu ZanJin: HIM. AAAH!! He’s literally so beautiful and whenever I see him I just go ZANZAN!! in my head and in the tags bc. well. hIM.

Xiao Zhan With Long Hair: Look, Xiao Zhan is always amazing but BLESS the person who made these manips. I can finally rest.

Wang YiBo: uhh what’s he doing here again?? Tbh YiBo is one of the few, if not the only person that gives me Major Gender Envy that I would also [redacted] if they asked. Do I want to be him or be with him? The answer is Yes.

I skipped the fictional characters bc I tend not to crush on them 👉👈 Instead I will just directly crush on the actors/actresses lol!

Thank you for bearing with me. As a prize, you can choose between a ladder supported forehead kiss, or a bowl of homemade soup. ❤

[aimeeee]

Under the moonlight

Pairing : Ashoka Tano x Woman reader

Word Count : 1419

Plot : First kiss with Ashoka, under the moonlight

Warnings : slight mention of nightmare, hyperventilation, nothing else it's just pure love, i'm so bad at this

-----------------------------------

As I woke up from a nightmare, I checked the time. 3 a.m, I slept two hours. Well at least it's one more since last night. Half an hour later I realized I couldn't fall back asleep, I left my bed, put on an heavy robe and shoes and made my way towards the roof of the Temple.

The hallways were totally empty at this hour but I still put on my hood and was very carefull not to make any noise. Last thing I wanted was for my master to wake up and gave me a lecture about sneaking out the night before an important mission.

As I finally made my way towards the roof, the wind wasn't that strong, it was even quite enjoyable, and the moon was shining. I got closer to an edge before laying down.

"I'm so exhausted" I whispered, as if I don't wanted anyone else to hear. But the only thing that could hear me was the moon. No one is here. Once again I will wipe my tears away, one again I will be on my own. Tomorow, another important and long mission is schedule, but you just came back from one that lasted two weeks. I could almost feel my eyebags. When was the last time I slept for more than 4 hours ? I couldn't remember. Nightmares always waking me up and it was impossible to fall back asleep no matter how tired I was.

Tears started to escape my eyes.

It felt like all of the emotions I tried to ignore for months decided to come back all at once. I was so tired, frustrated, irritable and sad. But emotions weren't the only thing I ignored. Feelings too. I had feelings for my best friend Ashoka Tano for so long, but as a Jedi, I couldn't tell her and even if I could, she doesn't love me like I do.

My tears were now streams as I started to heavily sob. Instead of laying, I sat down. I started to hyperventilate and couldn't focus on anything else than my breathing. I couldn't breath and started to really panic. That's when I sensed her, Ashoka was here, she was on her way to the roof. I tried to wipe my tears but I couldn't stop crying. My breathing still not cooperating, I was lost, not knowing what to do.

As I desperatly tried to find my breath, I felt two arms wrapping around my whole self. "Ashoka ?" I murmured. "Shh it's okay, it's me, focus on your breathing. I'm here now" While whispering sweet praises, she rubbed my back and I was finally able to breathe normally. "Thanks.."

She sat down next to me, her hand on my thigh. "What happened ? Why are you here at 4 in the morning ?" "I could ask you the same question" I said while turning my head towards her. She was beautiful. Her blue eyes shining under the moonlight. She lightly smiled. "Well I asked first." I loudly exhaled. "Where can I start." "You could start by explaining why you're on the roof of the temple at 4 a.m." "Oh right. I couldn't sleep." She stayed silent, expecting me to elaborate. "I couldn't sleep because of the mission tomorow. Well the mission we're supposed to head at in 4 hours."

She frowned, "I don't think I ever saw you worrying about a mission before." "Well, let's say that the mission is the type you can't fucked up at all and with the amount of sleep I've got lately, I don't think I'll be able to hold my lightsaber without cutting my leg off." I laughed but her eyes where filled with worry. "Hey it's okay I'm joking." "How much did you sleep tonight ?" "About two hours." "And the night before ?" I lowered my voice, a bit ashamed, "One, I slept one hour last night." "Why can't you sleep ?"

She took my hand in hers, slowly rubbing it. I took a deep breath and avoided her gaze. "Well I guess you could say that the nightmares aren't really helping, I have too much on my mind, too much missions, too much everything." Tears made there way back to my eyes, I quickly wiped them away, "Sorry".

Her hands cupped my face and she pulled me closer, slowly brushing my check with her thumb, wiping away an invisible tear, "You don't have to apologise for crying with me, we're way past this. I should be the one apologizing for not understanding earlier you were exhausted and not okay." I could feel her breath on my lips. Her nose almost touching mine.

"Ashoka why are you here." I murmured. "I couldn't sleep." I slowly pulled away, looking at her. "Why ? Is something wrong ?" My hand finding her thigh. "I think... I think I felt you through the Force ?" I frowned a bit "What ? How ? Since when ?" She chuckled "One question at a time love" I shivered hearing that nickname, she never used it before. "I was training till 2:30 a.m when I decided to head back. By the time I was ready to sleep, I couldn't. All my senses were alerted, like something was going on. I focused on my thoughts and all I could see was you. But you weren't okay. Actually, I understood it was you an hour later. That's when I decided to look for you. Since you weren't in your room I thought you could be here. So yeah, that's why I'm here."

"So what you're saying is that, you felt I wasn't okay through the Force and decided to head for the roof of the temple hoping I was there ? Why ?" She laughed "You resumed the situation pretty well and I care for you [name]. I really do." I closed my eyes. Her hands still cupping my face. We were so close, I was almost sat on her lap.

Now or never. There will not be any better time. I took a deep breath, resting my forehead on hers. "Actually, Ashoka, there's another reason why I couldn't sleep." I felt her tensed up, but she didn't said anything. It was so hard to speak. "I know it is not right. I know it's against everything we've ever been taught. And I don't wanna lose you but..." I stopped to breath, tightening my hand on her thigh. "But I think I love you." Her whole body was tensed up, she stopped caressing my cheek. "I know you don't, I know. But in case things took a bad turn tomorow I really wanted you to know" I opened my eyes, looking at her, she looked lost. "Because you're the greatest thing that ever happened to me Ashoka and I don't know what I'll do without you." She looked down, her hands slowly falling from my face. I quickly pulled away my hand, leaving her space. We stayed silent for minutes. I whispered "Please say something", tears menacing to run down the cheeks she was slowly rubbing minutes earlier.

She looked up at me, with a tiny smile on her face "I love you too." It felt like a weight was lifted from my chest but I couldn't believe it. "What ?" She smiled, putting her hands behind my neck and pulling me closer "I love you [name], I loved you since Anakin and Obi-Wan introduced ourselves to eachother, I loved you since I first layed my eyes on you but I was too blind to understand what I was feeling. Blind and scared." I smiled of pure joy and relief, tears of joy peacking through my eyes. She looked down on my lips before looking up at me again "Can I ?" I nodded, of course she could, I was hers. She slowly approached, but I couldn't wait one more second, I put a hand behind her neck and kissed her. First it was soft, almost shy. We didn't really know what to do. But the second time, it was pure passion. She pulled me onto her lap, her hands around my waist and mines behind her neck.

I could stay like this forever. Deeply kissing the love of my life, under the moonlight.

---------------------------------------

I'm not that proud of this one sorry lol. I hope you liked it. Take care ! <3