#[shakes fist at bobo and meredith for ruining my life]

[thevioletcaptain]

So hey, remember that time when we found out that Dean had made Cas a mixtape?

Because I sure do!

Now, I’m not saying that I’ve thought about this moment every damn day for the past six months, but I’m not not saying that either >_>

Anyway. 

I’m sure someone has already pointed out that Led Zeppelin, while being Dean’s favorite band, have also been repeatedly used within Supernatural canon as an example of what you play for someone if you’re interested in them.

Countless hunters tried to win Jo’s attention with “side one of Zeppelin IV.”

When they first met, John’s knowledge of Zeppelin lyrics impressed the otherwise disinterested Mary.

Nick the siren used Led Zeppelin trivia to make Dean like him.

In short: Led Zeppelin is shorthand for seduction.

There’s a good reason for that, too. You’d be hard pressed to find more than a handful of Led Zeppelin songs that aren’t sexual or romantic... or blatantly about Lord of the Rings, but that’s another topic altogether.

"I put a lot of work into my lyrics. Not all my stuff is meant to be scrutinized, though. Things like "Black Dog" are blatant let's-do-it-in-the-bath-type things, but they make their point just the same. People listen."

- Robert Plant in an interview with Cameron Crowe for Rolling Stone back in 1975 (this article also has a little bit about how Jimmy Page lived in a house originally owned by Aleister Crowley, which tickles me for obvious reasons)

I fucking love Zepp. I’m that asshole with the complete collection on vinyl and CD for good measure. So, with that in mind, under the cut is a list of all of their songs sorted into their respective topics.

Why am I doing this? 

Because Dean carefully selected thirteen of these songs. He picked out his absolute favorites, and he spent hours--because that’s how long mixtapes take--planning and putting this tape together. 

He did all of this to make a tape for a guy who has not shown a single speck of interest in music in years, who listens to talk radio in his stolen car, who most definitely did not ask him for some recommendations.

Dean made a mixtape using the show’s shorthand for seduction, and he gave it to the guy he recently described as devastatingly handsome. 

The guy whose sex life he’s always been weirdly hyper-focused on. 

The guy whose absence he reacts to with a level of desperation that is entirely overblown in comparison to Sam’s.

The guy who managed to meet every set of eyes in the room but Dean’s when he said “I love you” as he lay dying.

Dean made Cas a goddamn mixtape, and I want to figure out just how suggestive that mixtape must have been.

Songs about sex/lust

Bring It On Home - The gist of this one? “I know you’re sleeping around, so I’m gonna do you extra good to make sure you don’t ditch me”

Candy Store Rock - Most of this song is utterly filthy. There’s a lot of thinly veiled oral sex metaphors involving honey.

Whole Lotta Love - Look, Robert Plant wants to give you “every inch” of his love. There’s not a lot of subtlety here.

The Lemon Song - There’s no two ways about this: the lemon is his dick

Custard Pie - Take a wild guess what “custard pie” is referring to. Go on. Guess. G u e s s.

For Your Life - Mostly about a friend with a drug addiction, but it also contains references to that often-repeated “lemon” metaphor, so it’s goin�� in the sex pile.

The Wanton Song - The line “Took my seed from my shaking frame“ says it all, really.

You Shook Me - About being “shook” all night long. Again, the metaphor is paper thin here.

We're Gonna Groove - All about getting some of that all-night-lovin’

Hots On For Nowhere - Half about feeling hopelessness encroaching with growing old, half about using sex as self medication.

Hot Dog - about missing a lost love and hoping to hook up with her again.

Carouselambra - Though it also has nerd elements (as most Zeppelin songs do), this is about having almost sleeping with someone, but being denied.

How Many More Times - Who can say “a gun is a phallic metaphor”?

Houses Of The Holy - Despite all the talk about sowing seeds in someone’s garden, this song is not about flowers, friends. It’s about sex.

Rock And Roll - Guess what? Rock and roll is a metaphor. For sex. Shocking.

Royal Orleans - About that one time when John Paul Jones had a one night stand with a drag queen who accidentally set the hotel room on fire by getting into bed with a lit joint. So, sex. Again. (And irresponsible smoking choices, apparently.)

South Bound Saurez - About sex. Hot sex, specifically.

The Crunge - To me, this has always seemed to be about a girlfriend suggesting they have a threesome with another man. YMMV, but at any rate it’s definitely about sex.

Trampled Underfoot - This is a song that uses car parts as fairly explicit sex metaphors.

Traveling Riverside Blues - Again, this is purely about sex. It is also one of Dean’s canonically stated favourite songs, so it’s definitely on the tape. Good times.

Wearing And Tearing - This one is basically Zeppelin’s answer to “sexual healing.”

Misty Mountain Hop - Aside from the obvious LOTR reference, this one is about a love-in that got busted by the cops. It’s got some of this band’s more low-key sexual lyrics, but they’re there all the same.

Songs about love/romance

Baby Come on Home - About missing a lost lover, and being desperate for her to come back.

Babe, I’m Gonna Leave You - This one is about Plant having to leave a woman who made him happy because of the life he leads. [stares into the camera]

Achilles Last Stand - Ostensibly about Plant’s travels through Morocco, Greece, and Spain, and inspired by the poetry of William Blake, the story told in the lyrics is super wistful and romantic.

Black Country Woman - Subtitled “Never Ending Doubting Woman Blues,” this one is about a woman who says she loves him but doesn’t stick around, and how much that hurts.

Hey, Hey What Can I Do - All about the frustration of being in love with someone who won’t commit.

Friends - Written after Plant had what he describes as a “massive argument” with a friend, this song is about needing love.

Heartbreaker - Literally what it says on the tin: about being heartbroken.

Good Times, Bad Times - About having bad luck in past relationships, but being determined to make a new one last.

Going To California - Apparently this song was originally about an earthquake, but as they wrote the lyrics it turned into a song about searching for love.

I Can't Quit You Baby - This is about loving someone despite knowing they are bad for you.

I'm Gonna Crawl - About loving someone so much that he’d crawl to be with her.

In The Evening - About how love makes pain bearable.

In The Light - About being there for the person you love, and “sharing the load” they bear.

Over The Hills And Far Away - Though this is Hobbit-influenced, but it’s about wanting the woman he’s with to know that his past loves don’t matter anymore.

Out On The Tiles - About wanting nothing but the company of the person he loves.

No Quarter - About moving toward a dreamed-of future with someone, despite the odds stacked against them.

Kashmir - Trying to return to a place of truth and knowledge, and wanting to take someone he loves there with him.

Ozone Baby - A cynical song about a “true love” that has kept him waiting

Ramble On - Another LOTR reference song, but again the reference is secondary to the main subject, which is looking for a lover. Also, one of Dean’s canonically stated favorite songs, so it’s definitely on the tape.

Tea For One - About the loneliness of a life on the road, and wishing he could be back with a woman he left behind.

Ten Years Gone - A wistful song about losing touch with a past lover.

Thank You - About Plant’s love for his wife, and how she inspires him.

That's The Way - Supposedly about the environment (I side-eye that explanation pretty hard) this is one Zepp song that has honestly always sounded like a super sad queer love song to me. The lyrics seem to be from the point of view of a young boy whose mother has told him he’s not allowed to play with the boy next door anymore because of what people are saying about them, and how upset he is about this. Like… this is a very sad and gay song, okay. Environment? Pfft. Maybe the young queer environment.

The Rain Song - About finding the kind of love that he never expected to find.

The Rover - A wanderer missing someone he left behind.

Walter's Walk - About heartbreak over a failed relationship.

What Is And What Should Never Be - About a love affair.

Your Time Is Gonna Come - Being hurt by an unfaithful lover.

Communication Breakdown - About wanting to tell someone you love them but they just don’t get it.

D'yer Mak'er - Essentially, the lyrics here are begging a lover to stay.

Dancing Days - Summer loving (having a blast!)

Darlene - Darlene is paying attention to everyone but him, and he wants her. Badly.

Dazed And Confused - That feeling of being so in love that it’s like being under a spell.

Fool In The Rain - A story about a man who think’s he’s been stood up by a woman he cares about, but it turns out it was just a misunderstanding about where they should meet.

Four Sticks - About the agony of hiding your true feelings for someone. [more weak laughter]

Since I've Been Loving You - About being afraid that the person you love doesn’t love you back.

Tangerine - Ah, the sweetness of new love!

Celebration Day - This is about happiness and New York City, according to Plant, but it also seems to be about a woman hoping for a future with someone. 

All My Love - Contrary to popular belief, this isn’t a “love song” in the strictest sense. It’s actually a tribute to Robert Plant’s son, who passed away while the band was on tour in 1977. That said, lyrically it does contain a lot of distinctly romantic-sounding lines, and is a common “love song dedication” on the tacky radio shows I sometimes listen to.

Songs about random other topics (or nerdy shit)

Night Flight - Written about a man who dodges a military draft.

Nobody's Fault But Mine - What it says on the tin: taking responsibility for mistakes.

Boogie With Stu - This song is just improvised nonsense that borrows lyrics from an old Richie Valens song. There’s not a lot of depth to this one. 

Bron-y-aur Stomp - About Robert Plant’s dog, Strider (yep, that’s another sneak attack LOTR reference)

Gallows Pole - A song about a man who is trying to convince the hangman to delay his death as he waits for his friends and family to rescue him. 

Immigrant Song - This was written after the band had been to Iceland, and is mostly about explorers and vikings. 

In My Time Of Dying - About the fear of wasting a life, and hoping that he’ll leave something good in the world when he dies.

Livin' Lovin' Maid (she's just a woman) - Apparently about a particularly obnoxious groupie that followed the band around in their early days.

Poor Tom - This is a story song about a man who kills his wife after she cheats on him.

Sick Again - Basically about feeling pity for groupies. Kind of a gross song, tbh. As much as I love this band’s music, the misogyny gets pretty bad in a few songs. 

Stairway To Heaven - Plant says this song is about “a woman getting everything she wanted without giving anything back.”

The Battle Of Evermore - About the endless battle between good and evil.

The Ocean - About music, fans, and a little bit about Robert Plant’s daughter.

The Song Remains The Same - About the universal nature of music.

When The Levee Breaks - This is a cover of an old Memphis Minnie McCoy song.

St. Tristan's Sword - Instrumental.

Down By The Seaside - Instrumental. 

Bron-yr-Aur - Instrumental.

Moby Dick - Instrumental.

Black Mountain Side - Instrumental.

Bonzo’s Montreux - Instrumental.

So. With all of that laid out... there are 61 songs about sex/love/romance, and 21 about other topics. 

Two songs that we can safely assume are on the mixtape are Ramble On (love) and Traveling Riverside Blues (sex), as they are Dean’s named favorite songs.

This leaves eleven spaces open. Sure, it’s possible that all eleven of those songs come from the “other topics” list, but honestly... six of those songs are instrumental, and therefore probably not on the favorites list of a guy who loves singing along, and about half of the remaining songs in that group are generally considered Zepp’s less impressive work.

Statistically speaking, Dean’s Top 13 Zepp Traxx are far more likely to be a sexy, romantic bunch, and this is the gift he insisted Cas keep.

All in all, this has been a largely pointless exercise. I already knew that there were far more Zepp songs with sexual or romantic lyrics than not. But it’s nice to have those numbers there.