#[headcanon] Everything I've done everything I'll do today everything I'll ever do I do to protect this world

[lovesick-feelings]

can i req sun/moon yandere hcs?

Sorry this came very late darlings! A part of the reason is that i've been going through a lot in life and i haven't had much time to catch up but don't worry as i'll still be here for anything! (´⌣`ʃƪ)

Another reason was because of how indecisive i was for teamwork headcanons between the two. There was supposed to be more explaining how the two work together to watch over their dear but I decided to add it later in the future. I know it'll take another decade to write it out and I really don't wanna hold up this request more than I already have. ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

Note: This takes place before the Security Breach incident making Moon way less aggressive and sadistic to that Moon.

SUN

♡ *GASP* A NEW CO-WORKER!?! What wonderful news that is! He barely has any older friends (mostly cause adults find him creepy), so he finds the thought of having you around thrilling! When you show up, his visits start as occasional checkups, but soon they become more regular. You are such a caring and kind person to him and the children. He loves getting attention from you so much that every time you look at him, he feels like he's going to burst!

♡ His obsession grows so strong it goes against his intended programming to frequently focus on you. He knows he’s supposed to report problems like this, but he’s sure it can’t be so bad if he feels this happy around you! This has gotten him in trouble with staff and Moon multiple times, but he doesn't understand why. He’s doing his job of making someone happy and that’s his bestest friend in the world!

♡ Sun wants to do EVERYTHING with you. Despite protests, he doesn't want you to feel left out and all gloomy in the corner, so he’s bringing you along on all the things he considers fun! It’s scary when he suddenly scoops you up in his arms and skips at lightning speed across the daycare to where all the activities are. You’ll often find yourself surrounded by children playing games or making crafts. 

♡ Your happiness together is all he wants. When you laugh at the sock puppet he made of you, he feels all warm and fuzzy inside. He wants to make you laugh like that all the time! Anything you guys make is immediately stored and displayed proudly in his room. Now that he thinks about it, he should probably organize it better for the on-growing collection of your belongings and things that remind him of you.

“Wasn’t that so fun, Sunshine!?” 

“Yeah it was but I really gotta get back to work”

“Oh - oh wait! I got another game we can play together!!”

♡ Touchy-feely does not begin to describe how Sun behaves around you. Hand holding, cuddling, hugs, you name it, he wants to do it all. When Sun sees you, he just wants to squish you, and love you, and hold you in his arms forever and ever!! Even when you're busy, he can’t help the urge to pull you into a surprise hug. He would love to try kissing you someday but he gets bashful just thinking about it.

♡ Every time you come back to your desk he’s already got a gift waiting for you there. All four flavors of Fizzy-Fazz (He didn’t know which you wanted, so he got all of them) with a couple of chips and bars. A lot of the drawings with you and him together with hearts all over or the occasional origami around your work desk with sweet messages like “You’re my sunshine!” and “You look very pretty today!”. As cute as it is, it's gotten excessive to the point where you have to clean your desk on a basis.

♡ Like a kid, he’s relentless when getting you to pay attention to him. Unfortunately, this turns him into a huge distraction because, instead of getting your work done, Sunny boy is dancing around insisting you join him for more playtime. This transitions into interactions with co-workers. When someone comes to check on you, he’s already got your attention on something else while he shoos them off the daycare grounds.

♡ Nothing is worse than an unhappy darling. If Sun senses something is wrong, he will panic. Because he's built to recognize distress when he senses it, he's very understanding. So, when he feels you’re hiding something from him, he can’t help stressing over it. Now every minor gesture can be interpreted as a huge sign. You're not in the mood for hugs one morning and he looks at you as if you dropped-kicked a baby. God forbid he finds out he’s the reason you’re unhappy 💀

♡ He’ll try so hard to make it up to you but it only worsens as he realizes it’s becoming futile. He will cling to you more if he thinks you're mad at him. While trying to reassure you of his love, he sounds like he's just reassuring himself. He'll invent any excuse to keep you longer as well. He hates making a mess, but if it means you’ll stay longer, it doesn’t matter! He takes whatever desperate measures are needed, except for violence. The shame and guilt would outweigh whatever reason he had to lash out.

“Sunshine, please don’t go! No! No! NO! I CAN’T let you go!”

MOON

♡ Was it really necessary to have you around…? As grateful as he is to have a helper, he’s been doing fine alone. He’s mostly reclusive, only approaching when needed. It takes Sun’s endless gushing about you and a few approaches for him to warm up to you. When he realizes you are someone he can trust, he’ll make an effort to talk to you more while the children sleep. His biggest comforter becomes you, someone he can watch and protect. Your genuine care turns his curiosity into fascination.

♡ Moon could care less if he’s not supposed to cater to you. He already attends to a group of children so it shouldn't be a problem if he wants you as well. He keeps it discreet around you and other staff though. It’ll only cause trouble if he’s caught acting out. Lucky for him, he can be patient. If it means having you all to himself he has no problem going the extra mile into making you his compliant little star~

♡ Despite being a staff, Moon has a habit of urging you to sleep. Some days he’s more persistent than others. He can be pretty stubborn and, because of that, you often agree with him, so he can stop staring at you from across the room. If you’re really adamant about disobeying him, he has other ways of convincing you too~ Like placing Moondrops in your drink and waiting for them to melt before giving it to you.

♡  He always tells you this is for the best. He only wants what's best for you because your safety and health are his priority. Before you know it, he’ll have you tucked in the softest pillows and blankets. He’ll stroke your hair, whispering sweet nothings as you’re lulled to sleep. There's nothing more addicting than holding your still, peaceful form in his arms. Caressing your soft face while hearing your gentle breathing, he wishes it could last forever. Anyone trying to wake you up is signed up on his hit list. 

“Now now rest, Starlight~” 

“Moon I can’t I really have to finish-” 

“Shhhh… work has no place at bedtime~”

♡ It’s always a battle for him to choose whether he wants to hold you. His intrusive thoughts keep telling him to pick up and cradle you so he can see your cute reactions. On the other hand, he couldn’t risk anyone else seeing him being so clingy. He becomes the stiffest and most awkward bot for physical affection because he can't choose what to do! He is much more daring and demanding when you two are alone. You’ll spend hours locked down in his arms while he’s snuggling against the crook of your neck. Behave and he’ll leave a couple of pecks here and there too.

♡ Moon is deliberate when it comes to his gifts. You won’t receive them from him often, but when you do it's something he knows you needed or wanted. Like the time he saw you shivering, he handed you a daycare-themed sweater or hand-painted mug for all the pens and pencils you've collected. No matter how the gift is, it must be neatly presented to you. Even the energy bars he gets for you are wrapped in a cute blue bow. He prefers to hand you his gifts in person so that way he can see what you like and what he can improve on (also because he really loves the attention he gets from it).

♡ Moon is a sly one. As he prefers a more tranquil darling, he attempts to win you over though it would be easier to kidnap you. His way of doing so is making you more dependent on him. He takes his time studying you before making any moves. When he’s not stalking you he’s manipulating everything around you to his favor. If you’re a kind person he’ll draw you in by making himself look all alone because of those awful rumors of him being scary. If you’re more wary of him he’ll take his time gaining your trust, obeying your every word, and making you feel you’re the only one that can tame him until he can finally claim you as his own.

♡ Moon can be clingy but he never goes as far as to become suffocating. He’ll allow you to have space until he senses someone is trying to interfere. His possessiveness only drives him to stalk your co-workers as well. Everyone is considered an obstacle some more than others and is to be dealt with accordingly. Moon isn’t one for violence but he’s familiar with fear tactics that will surely leave your so-called friends to regret their decision.

♡ If he senses that he is at fault he’ll change himself to be softer but the same can't be said if he believes your co-workers had a hand in your change. He’s working behind the scenes causing “accidents” to happen. Your co-workers will drop like flies and you haven't a single clue why. He hasn't shown you this side because he knows you’ll only make it harder for the both of you. But let’s say you had suspicions. Moon would either downplay the whole thing or put you in "time out". Depends if he believes there's some way he can salvage the last bit of trust in him.

“Naughty Starlight, you are not allowed to leave timeout until I said otherwise~”

[nrdmssgs]

Hi hi! I was wondering if I could request a 141 reaction to reader asking them to dance out in the rain with them, civilian or a fellow soldier? I really loved the headcanon you did of falling asleep on their shoulder and I just need more fluff of them please

Masterlist

Oh how I love doing anything in the rain with SO!!!!!!!! I live for such requests, thank you so much!! I had the best time writing this.

TF 141 reacting on reader, asking them for a dance in the rain

Simon Ghost Riley

This was the most important day in his life, the happiest one. But Ghost still felt guilt stinging him time to time. What if you said, you wanted it to be quiet and private just to make him comfortable? What this didn't match your dreams, what if his whole life didn't meet your expectations? There were no guests, no intricate or pompous speeches, no tears or happy laughter - everything was down to earth, calm and fast. Simon didn't even get it right away, when everything was done. He just stood there before the clerk looking at your certificate.

"You sure, you don't want any gift to remember this day?" He took your hand so that he doesn't lose you on a crowded street.

"Oh, I have a gift, don't worry. And I'm planning to keep it for life." Your smile illuminated even this colorless autumn day.

Simon heard a large raindrop hit your shoulder. The next drop touched his cheek. This rain reminded a more summer one: it did not cover the city with a moisture gray veil, but merrily played with the rays of the sun, which appeared at the other end of the sky and refracted in lonely drops.

People around you fled, seeking shelter from the rain, and Ghost cursed softly. "Not only haven't I arranged a proper ceremony for you - now the day will be ruined by the rain..."

"How many times do I have to repeat, that it is primarily me, who didn't want any ceremonies?" You lift his hand and place a kiss on his knuckle.

"If you ever have second thoughts - let me know right away. I'll find a tailor, arrange a cake and the isle, and what else people do normally..."

"Mister Riley, this may come as a surprise, people do whatever they please." Your laughter immediately eases his soul. "Now please stop beating yourself for not being an incarnation of every teenage dream. I don't need it. What I need to remember this day forever is you, Simon. Just you."

"Just me is not enough..." This was meant to be inaudible, but you still heard him and stopped in your tracks.

"Please, never say that again. You are enough. Now, if you want to go above and beyond that badly today - dance with me. Right here, right now." Your request takes him by surprise. But it's you, and he swore to himself when you two signed the papers earlier, that you'd get whatever you ask for. Always.

He stands motionless for a while, never taking his eyes off you. And then he holds out his hand to you. His heart beats as fast as the day you met.

"May I have this dance, Mrs Riley?"

Kyle Gaz Garrick

"Kyle!" You would jump on the hospital bed right into his arms, if you were sure, it wouldn't hurt him.

Gaz smiled widely the very second, he heard your cry. "Hi, sweetie! I'm so glad, you made it here, I missed you so much!" His lively voice doesn't match his appearance: his body is covered with patches and stitches, and it almost screams 'let me rest and don't even think to go on another mission in next few months'. You frown at the sight of it and come closer, inspecting every centimeter of his skin.

He tracks your gaze and says lightheartedly, "Don't worry, sweets, in a week ill be as good as new."

"In a pair of weeks," corrects him nurse, who lead you into his room.

"In a pair of weeks, I'll be dead of boredom here..."

You profusely apologize to the nurse for Kyle and when she leaves, closing the door behind her, you turn back. "It's okay, I've got my job done, and I'll be here with you for as long as it takes." You are so relieved to finally see him in one piece, after you got that frightening call. You know, it's his job, his life, but you can't lose him, cant even imagine waking up, knowing, I will never see that myriad of different smiles of Kyle Garrick.

One of your favorites is that sneaky shit-eating grin, when he is about to win a bet or a game. It is so pure, so full of joy - it makes you believe for a short moment, there is no war out there, no hell, he will have to return to sooner or later. So for the next two weeks you come up with all kinds of games, only to see that smile on his face.

Even though it was Kyle who ended up in the hospital bed out of the two of you, he takes care of you as usual, not the other way around. So every time you lose a bet - he makes you eat a desert from his lunch, or wraps you in his shirt, so that you are cozy and warm. But in rare cases, when you win - you exploit it as much as you can. After your very first win you make him promise, that he will follow every instruction of his doctors, and in two weeks he will dance with you in the courtyard of the hospital.

Gaz keeps his word, and after two weeks you finally leave the hospital. It would be the perfect moment - if not for one "BUT": the street meets you with pouring rain.

"Sorry, sweetheart, looks like no dancing in the wild for you today. But if you are willing to wait for a few hours - I promise, well find a perfect ballroom somewhere in my flat." Kyle touches your shoulder and smiles reassuringly.

"Oh no, all your ballrooms require us to press ourselves as close to each other and not swing at all."

"And that was... pretty much the most significant part of my plan." Even when he is flirting with you that shamelessly - Kyle somehow keeps the softest eyes and sweetest smile.

You know him too well - Kyle can't refuse you. So when you hold out your hand to him, he shakes his head, leans the bags against the wall, and leads you out into the little garden in front of the hospital building. There he puts one arm around your waist and circles slowly with you, oblivious to the rain. He does not hide the admiration with which he watches your movements. When you get closer to each other - he covers every inch of your face with kisses, repeating "Losing to you was the best thing, my angel. Thank you for helping me out".

Captain John Price

On your first date, you looked nervous. Despite knowing him for years already, this evening felt different. You knew, at some point you'll have to explain, what's going on, but words kept failing you.

"You ok, love?" John noticed it. Of course, he would, since his eyes never left your face.

No.

"Yes! I mean, of course... Sorry, where were we?"

But he knows you too well, and you already feel his eyes scanning through a smile plastered on your face. So John takes your hand and starts asking questions. He doesn't pressure you, but just helps you to navigate through your anxiety, trying to specify, what causes it. So you finally give in and explain that even the most insignificant physical contacts are difficult for you. At the same time, you are incredibly glad that you two finally went on a date. To your relief, John reacts calmly, lets go of your hand and reassures you, that your wellbeing is much more important than social customs, demanding, that every good date must end with a kiss or a hug.

"I promise to not touch this topic, if you don't feel like sharing, but I must know, if anything... or anyone caused this or if it's just the way you are, which is absolutely ok." His voice is soft. It sounds so comforting, you feel safe enough to share your reasoning, which Price accepts right away.

Since then, he catches himself urging to touch you, but freezing, before his hand actually reaches your personal space. No matter how badly he wanted to comfort you and share his warmth - John remembered, he better come up with an alternative way to do that. So he made you warm with words, little presents, acts of service - anything, but touch.

One day, he was walking you home from another date when lightning flashed somewhere in the distance, illuminating the evening sky.

"Oh no, it's about to rain, John, come wait at my place."

"Don't worry, love, you don't scare a brit with a few raindrops. You need a good sleep before working week, so I'll get you home and be on my way to my place right after."

When you are saying goodbyes at your door, it starts raining. John turns away and heads right into a thick wall of raindrops, falling all around a canopy. "It's just water, it's not gonna harm him," you think to yourself. But something inside you asks, demands, pleads you to stop him. So you dart after Price and grab him in an awkward embrace from back.

"Love?" John turns his head. "I told you to not wo-"

You cut him off, shifting around and now pressing your cheek against his broad chest. It is unexpected, but so much awaited, John barely holds back a shiver, that runs down his body. You start quietly humming some vaguely familiar melody and gently rocking back and forth.

"Can I hug you back?" Even startled by your sudden act of affection, John still guards your border.

You nod, still pressing yourself so close to him, that raindrops can't wet his jacket from the front. Carefully and slowly, he locks you in an embrace, letting you continue slowly dancing with him. He doesn't care for the rain or late hour anymore - he only cares for you in his hands.

Johnny Soap Mactavish

"Seriously, another bloody traffic jam? " Soap presses his face against car window and groans. You've asked him for about a hundred times not to do that, but it is impossible to make Johnny cooperate, when he is unhappy.

Hes been venting to you about that gig for the last few months. You were pretty sure, it was because you owned a car, which was practically the only reasonable transport to reach such a secluded small town, where the concert took place. One must have witnessed Johnnys puppy eyes, when he asked you to ride there together with him, to understand, why you just couldn't say no. You invited the rest of the 141 to join you, but all of them, by a strange coincidence, remembered some urgent personal plans at the last moment.

So there you were, alone with a whining Sergeant in a car, stuck in a traffic jam, that was very likely to not let you make it in time even for the second half of the gig. And as if things weren't bad enough - it started raining.

"I'm sorry, Soap. I'm not sure, we will be there in time." You hated it that, you couldn't change the situation, because Johnny always did everything in his power to cheer you up, help you or just make you smile. You wanted to be as good friend as he was to you, but this traffic jam required a true magician in order to get sorted out in minutes. So you sigh deeply, tapping the steering wheel with your fingertips.

The idea hits you out of nowhere. You pull to the side, as soon as you reach a small, empty parking area in the woods.

Soap turns to you with a puzzled face. "Lass? Everything alright?"

Without answering him, you turn off the engine and pick up the phone. "Ah, you want to look for another route again?" suggests Johnny. "But we already tried it a hundred times - there are no alternatives ..."

"Calm down, MacTavish, I'm bringing you the concert."

"You mean, you're bringing me to the concert?" He tilts his head to the side in confusion.

"I said what I said, Johnny... Now, give me ju-u-u-ust one more minute.... Here, perfect!" With these words, you jump out of the car right into the rain and open the passenger door. "C'mon, MacTavish, we spent a few hours trying to get there, we might as well enjoy our very own concert."

With the first chords of the song, a radiant smile blooms on Johnny's face. He throws his head back and laughs out loud, covering his face with his hands. "Ya crazy, lassie, you know it?"

You pull him out of the car and take his both hands in yours. "Listen, I know, this is no way as fun as the real gig. But I dont want you to remember this day as 'that time, we killed a day in a car', ok?"

Johny moves closer, not stopping laughing and starts slow dancing with you despite a rather jolly and fast melody. "Oh fuck that concert. This right here is worth a month spent in a traffic jam. I wouldn't trade it for anything"

[strawberry-skies-xx]

13, 20, & 22 for the fic asks! fic i choose for 22, of course, that fucked up girl <3 and the mori dazai fic w the matcha tea....both fics have me by. CHOKEHOLD

*walks in 2 days late w iced coffee* that reblog spree on your blog is bc i couldn't find the og post btw and i had the (naive) hope you didn't reblog shit at the speed i did

13. Do you prefer writing multi-chapter fics or single-part fics? Do you prefer reading multi-chapter fics or single-part fics?

i prefer reading AND writing multi-chapter fics, bc its so much fun to explore stuff. however. The Horrors. i can dream about writing a multi-chapter fic all i want but it doesnt mean ill ever finish it (rest in piece my fleabag fyozai fic that's infamous on my bsd server bc i never shut up about it. also the fyozai betrayal AU fic. pensive emoji.)

20. Which fic have you put the most work into? Which fic have you put the least work into?

you make miette search through 84 published works for this...

the fic i'd say i've done the most research on is this one (mafia Dazai training Akutagawa) but the fic i've put the most work into being really good and me liking it has to be this one. its not BSD, but its a character study of a guy from another fandom and his interest in death and passive suicidality. i spent 3 days postponing every single other obligation other than food and just sat in bed writing this. 4th day i did nothing but chores and then i didnt write anything else for a week lol

least work is hard bc i have a philosophy that i can do whatever i want forever so i Will just write something in an hour and post it with no research, all pure self-indulgence. but i'll use a fic i should have done research on: this one. i really should've planned that out better. idk if anyone still follows me for httyd or has read that fic of mine but i do plan on rewriting it someday

22. Have you used any symbolism in [insert fic]? What does it represent?

OH boy.

so. fucked-up girl fic actually doesn't Have much real symbolism, only a couple remarks on my headcanons for various things.

today he had to eat an apple whole because he could not pick up a knife-

this one is easy, referencing dazai's suicidality and the fact he is trying. just a slight reference to him actively changing/being unable to do something, and also his issues with food.

He starts targeting.

Dazai is very, very still.

Atsushi backtracks so fast that he stumbles over his words, forgetting entirely Dazai’s contradictory explanations,

little things about dazai's manipulation in everything. boy can't admit shit. he's very roundabout with admitting anything close to himself (why i hc fyodor is so good for him, because they can trade those vague references back and forth and understand each other) and a trait i assign to him is saying vulnerable things in as few words as possible. he doesn't explain stuff.

Dazai’s body aches, and he turns, walks over to his desk, sits down. His clothes constrict.

gender issues but also, as mentioned in my comment on your fic, i hc dazai just hates his body. he has to shower with the lights off sometimes, can get dressed without looking at himself once. he very much dislikes perceiving the fact he has a body.

The ADA thinks that they’re dating. Him and Yosano. 

not symbolism or a hc but this was the premise of the entire fic. the agency thinking dazai and yosano were dating when really dazai just had severe gender envy

“Zai.”

little hc! yosano specifically uses this nickname for dazai when affectionate. atsushi and kunikida don't use any actual nicknames derived from his name; chuuya uses this nickname sometimes; ranpo uses this nickname somewhere between chuuya and yosano bc ranpo is putting in the least effort to get his attention lol

The conclusion is obvious. Dazai should explain that’s not what he means, but he can’t get his mouth to work to speak honestly. 

this whole conversation was the biggest indicator of dazai being unable to elaborate/saying things in as few words as possible. he's not a pathological liar, i just think sometimes it is physically painful to have to elaborate vulnerable things verbally for him. e.g. "it's because you're a woman" and yosano having to debate the fact dazai could be going after her, dazai Knowing what kind of conclusion she'd jump to immediately As a woman, and yet he just cannot explain it further because it is vulnerability. HENCE why i like him and fyodor, because fyodor can make those kinds of connections as quick as dazai can.

"Women are really pretty~”

not a hc or symbolism but. Boy why do you talk about women so much and yet date none of them. almost actively make yourself undesirable to them. Sir. My guy. i know what you are

“There’s a word for it?”

special lil hc i have. the mafia is very open and accepting because they simply have bigger priorities than who's kissing who. mori simply does not give a shit if his agents are consorting or if his lead agent goes from a girl to a guy. he won't provide monetary support and unless it's physically disabling he won't make exceptions to rules, but if he's told that someone's pronouns have changed or whatever he'll go "cool" and change the name/pronouns in all of the system, start using them, and be done with it. his only concern is performance and as far as he cares, sex and gender are irrelevant. (on that note, harrassment isn't tolerated because why are you harrassing them for being gay when you can harrass them for the multiple enemies they didn't kill last mission. cmon now.)

this also comes with the caveat that the kids raised in the mafia aren't really educated on it. they're taught normal class subjects, e.g. math, english, etc. and they're taught mafia protocol, and they're allowed to get their own reading material, but the mafia puts in as much effort to teach them about queer people as they do to teach them about heterosexual people. (they do get sex ed tho, which is basic as ever, and which dazai is a whole menace during)

and dazai, obviously, would not really be that interested in either to read about. being brought in so young, i think he was never really taught bias against queer people, so when he had the revelation that he liked chuuya he was just kinda. oh ok. and when he has the feelings about his body that he doesn't like it, he has much bigger priorities (namely the quickest way to die) than figuring out whatever the hell that is.

so it ends up that dazai just kinda is queer and has no idea what it is. he knows he hates his body and he knows he likes chuuya, probably has some surface level knowledge of gay/bi/lesbian/etc. but otherwise no, he's never sought out specifically to figure out the terms for what he's feeling. he actually really hates perceiving himself in any way lol

He still looks like himself,

this little bit: he hates perceiving himself in any way, but he still wants to be him. he doesn't want to change his name or his reputation or whatever else, he doesn't want to be a different person. he just wants to be a dazai that he likes.

It would look wrong be inconvenient for him, and take so much effort. Just… so much. So much that he can’t handle. Managing himself is hard regularly - adding on this, whatever it is, would be biting off more than he could chew. 

there's a river called de nile-

dazai is denying the fact he thinks being a woman would look wrong because of his years of being in a masculine body like he is, hence the calluses mention. but he also is right, that he wouldn't be able to upkeep it. he has to be in a better spot/it has to be something very slow and gradual for him to be able to keep it up long enough to maintain a desirable appearance. he's sorta using it as an excuse to not do it but also he just doesn't want to put in that much effort into it.

now for the matcha fic!

Very big hc and symbolism for this fic: Dazai's ability.

it is an ability nullifier, and i stand by the idea that abilities have some kind of effect on their user and are somewhat sentient. Atsushi's tiger, for one, is not only a transformation but the shape of the ability inside him, and Kyouka's Demon Snow is a whole being as the ability itself.

so for Dazai, he described it once as an "anti-ability." which. what the hell. whump beams him.

i have the hc that Dazai's ability makes him cold because most ability users can feel their ability hummign beneath their skin. most abilities are warm, alive, and it's like a constant low electric current or adrenaline rushing through them, as omnipresent as a heartbeat or breath. just a fact of being alive is that feeling. so then: when Dazai nullifies other people's ability, they can Feel the absence of it, they can feel very empty and very cold. when Dazai is the host of that nullification ability, it's just that electric warmth reversed. an icy cold, all the time, because NLH is a black hole as opposed to a sun. (all my metaphors relate NLH more to an icy lake, but that's the dichotomy)

i don't ascribe Dazai's emptiness entirely to NLH, but i do think it contributes and that he has a complex about the relationship between his own issues with emotion, empathy, and the fact NLH lives inside him.

and that cold gets much worse whenever Dazai actually does nullify an ability depending on how strong it is/how much is being used at the time, therefore the remark about him making a science on how bad it'll affect him, and that scene about him being overwhelmed by nullifying Chuuya's ability; he miscalculated, and was caught off guard by NLH activating so strongly, esp given his injuries and physical weakness already in that moment

and another little HC: Dazai's hinted to have been in an even worse place before Mori and abilities are said to be activated from trauma. so i like to hc Dazai's ability as activating from the result of being tortured with abilities, from a deep desire to stop the torture, also in some kind of lab setting. and from there, Dazai escaped, and Mori got this very damaged child.

so then, through the matcha fic, Dazai latches onto it because the warmth of the tea chases away the cold of NLH.

another thread through this fic: Mori and Dazai's relationship. i think Mori was trying to keep Dazai alive as an asset to the mafia, and that he never... regretted? bringing him in as much as wished Dazai had never shown up at his doorstep in the first place, because Mori sees the value of his skills way too much to regret using them. but Mori also knows kids aren't supposed to do what Dazai is doing. and he also sees the emptiness in Dazai and all his general issues. so it's this very messy tangle of like. Mori can't care for him like a father because, yknow, mafia boss and Mori himself also has manipulation and control issues, but also he's much fonder of him than most others, even Chuuya. no one else would have been able to get away with all the shenanigans Dazai inflicts on him (that kid bullies mori so hard. it's very comical). Mori is simultaneously training him and raising him in a life-or-death environment for them both and it's so messy.

“I’ll make us all some hot tea!” Atsushi raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “Are you sure you won’t… burn the Agency down, Dazai?”

little note here: i think dazai curates an image of incompetency specifically because of his competency in the mafia. obviously everyone there knows he's actually competent, but he hides just how competent he is. partially to get up to his own shenanigans hiding his mafia connections and whatever else, but also partially because he doesn't want to be known as something like the demon prodigy again.

when it's serious, they know he can hold his own (prison arc) but otherwise. he is faking so much incompetency.

“I’ll make a deal - if you manage to make matcha tea as well as I do, I can get you your own expensive set for the holidays~”

ok listen. listen. the slap that dazai gave atsushi lives rent free in my mind because of the moment of hesitation just before it. everyone villainizes dazai for slapping atsushi while entirely ignoring the brief hesitation just before it.

dazai was both trained (as an agent) and raised (as a teenager) by mori. and oda was not a very good dad either. he doesn't have the best role model, for one. but he's also very self-aware when he's older and i think he can separate "father" mori and "mafia boss" mori in his actions. he knows when mori was trying to raise him and he knows when mori was trying to train him.

now. now guess what dazai is to atsushi. a trainer. and dazai is still taking the place of someone older and more experienced teaching atsushi not only combat skills but also life skills/growing-up skills. and we all saw how dazai got with akutagawa; that was an environment conducive to that kind of treatment, where that was being encouraged.

now the agency doesn't condone physical violence and dazai knows that. and he is very clearly trying to be a good person like oda asked him to. so, with that moment of hesitation, he clearly did not want to slap atsushi. but someone else's post words this better: he got complacent at the agency, forgot mori's ruthlessness, and with the threat against atsushi and release of Q he remembered he couldn't be so complacent and began to slip back into the old mafia thinking as a way to survive.

and with atsushi breaking down and not listening to him, the agency threatened by mori and Q, a threat that made even dazai flinch, i hc he got overwhelmed, knew there was one method that got guaranteed results, knew the agency didn't condone it, but was overwhelmed enough that he just. lashed out in a way he knew guaranteed would work, and would get atsushi to listen to him.

so . very long rant just to say that i think dazai is fighting, a bit, to balance his experience of being trained-and-raised, with him training-and-raising atsushi, but he knows the difference clearly between the two and so he'll cherrypick actions like the deal mori made with the matcha tea.

deep breath. it's been like an hour and a half. jfc. anyway there's your answers hsfdbhsdf i have many many thoughts on dazai

ty for asking!

[defira85]

Thedas Tuesday

Just over a week to go! And I've done introductions for all 8 of my Rooks (if you fancy, you browse the tag here to see any you might have missed) so today I'm posting my predictions as to who might romance who. This is just a guess, I've been trying to avoid a lot of the early access stuff that went live in September, so I really don't have a huge grasp on the companions' personalities for the most part, and it's entirely possible I'll get wrenched in a completely different direction by the muse once I get into the game proper.

But for now, under the cut because it's long:

Vaaran: Qunari Grey Warden, warrior class. This is actually the easiest one to predict because Vaaran has been a Grey Warden since the siege of Amaranthine in 9:31 and is actively hearing her calling at the onset of Veilguard. Who better to woo the stoic warrior who has embraced her own death and is only lingering to ease her sister's guilt but the charming necromancer and master of death himself? How much will it hurt Emmrich to realise that for once he finds death to be a hindrance, a horror, an enemy ready to snatch his new love away? How much will it hurt Vaaran when she realises she wants to live, but it might be too late?

Kasaanda: Qunari Grey Warden, mage class. Bubbly and boisterous, excited to be alive and to experience everything life has to offer, who else would catch her eye but the equally bubbly Bellara?

Micaela: Human Mourn Watch, mage class. A member of the illustrious and mysterious Gottschalk family on her mother's side, the more common Ingellvar on her father's side. Cousin to the infamous Jo Hawke. As a Gottschalk, Micaela has been raised as a member of the Veiled Brotherhood, and has an intimate relationship with spirits, demons and blood magic. Of COURSE that means I'm going to throw her at Lucanis (and Spite) because they're going to annoy each other SO MUCH it'll be delicious

Hedrobella: Dwarf Lord of Fortune, warrior class. The infamous Captain Brand is a world-weary grump with a heart of gold hiding under many, many layers of scars and snark. She is going to find common ground with Neve, two snarky women fighting to do the right thing for the little guy and finding comfort in each other

Dhraoibhan: Elven Veil Jumper, warrior class. I think I want to go elf for elf, and head for Davrin. We've never had the opportunity to have a Dalish elf romance a Dalish elf before! It's exciting! And with my personal little headcanon that Dhraoibhan is a worshipper of the Forgotten Ones, I can write it as a little antagonistic, a little culture clash, which will be fun. The only problem, it's also warrior for warrior, and now that the party size has been cut down, that makes it difficult to justify having him in the party with them

Luciaane: Human Shadow Guard, mage class. TECHNICALLY SHE'S INQUISITION, NOT SHADOW GUARD. Again, I get why there's not an Inquisition faction as a player background, I do, but I want one. For many reasons that I went into in her backstory post, but also because it'll be hilarious having her romance Harding knowing that Luc, her father, was a member of the Inquisition and a member of Inquisitor Corinne Trevelyan's inner circle, and he'll do fucking anime murder sparkle eyes when he realises Harding is dating his baby girl

Nomi: Dwarf Antivan Crow, rogue class. She's gayer than San Francisco in the spring time, and she's devoutly religious and bound by how important duty is. So of course that means she's going to have a CRISIS over Taash, who has left the Qun and has no loyalties beyond coin and is just the most extraordinary (BIG) woman Nomi has ever seen

Which is all 7 companions accounted for! Which leaves...

Beren: Elf Shadow Dragon, rogue class. Look. We all know my brand. I'm going to go after an unromanceable, it's just going to happen. I'll write a 300k fic about an unromanceable character yet again, it's just what I do. Will it be Solas, now that he's unattainable? Perhaps. It might also be Elgar'nan. Maybe it's Manfred, because Elissa's canon romance is Justice the corpse, so why wouldn't I romance a skeleton in this game? Who knows. We'll see what happens and who my wretched soul latches on to in 2 weeks time....

And in 2 weeks time we'll know just how wrong I am and how badly I messed up these predictions!

[aprillikesthings]

eh fuck it one more episode :D

s4 ep6 Princess Scorpia

SCORPIA'S PARENTS and bb Scorpia and also that is a squishmallow if I ever saw one lolol

she sleeps in her uniform?!

oof, relatable

LOL I KNOW I JUST HEARD A WILHELM SCREAM

*rewinds it* I FUCKING DID!! LOLOL

I know this is Double Trouble and they are REALLY trying to start something

I mean actually that was you bb but okay

oh god Horde goes on this rant about how he has to be Victorious and Worthy when Horde Prime arrives and

Catra spent all this time clawing her way to the top (literally and figuratively) and I think it's MAYBE starting to sink in that she is not, in fact, anywhere near the top; and that Hordak is doing the exact same thing Catra's been doing--trying desperately to prove his worth to someone who doesn't give two shits about him

Either that or she's just (rightfully) a little scared of Horde Prime, and she hasn't even met him yet

Anyway Hordak is looking for Entrapta's recordings of her notes so he can work on his fancy weapon

Scorpia and Emily (the robot) do a cute little game and it reminds me so much of one me and Mal do ;_;

LOLOLOL

yeah I know I took this one just for my collection of "She-Ra's captions accidentally make it look like they're talking about sex"

sure bb you keep telling yourself that

Lonnie tries to point out to Scorpia that Catra doesn't give a shit about any of them and it's falling on closed ears

I keep meaning to point this out? But I just really like the way She-Ra looks from behind, with the huge hair and the cape and the wings of the tiara.

Also I know the whole point is that She-Ra is insanely strong even compared to Adora (who is plenty strong) but watching her do some of the physical shit she does without expending any visible effort is still o_O

Yeah Double Trouble's thing is working but also, why would Flutterina even BE on these missions? I have a feeling she (well, they; since that's actually Double Trouble) just kind of begged until they gave in?? But she's not actually helping at all?

Once again Bow is the only one here with any emotional intelligence

(But Adora's I'M FINE it's FINE is too relatable)

BUT Adora points out, Why is Glimmer okay being so friendly with Shadow Weaver "after everything she's done to us?"

Bow mediating their disagreement is making me edit a scene in my WIP lol (do you think Etheria has like, therapists the way we'd think of them? 🤔)

LOLLLLLL

Was digging around old stuff from a discord and found comments from a livestream from shortly after the show ended, and Nate headcanons that Scorpia took back the Fright Zone and her and Perfuma made it full of plant life again ;_;

Today in "things that are horrifying IRL that are played for laughs because it's a cartoon"

(like seriously how often has she been concussed when shit explodes)

Scorpia: "I'll bring the cocoa if you bring the tiny mugs" Entrapta:

me: do I ship this????? 🤔 (yes I know friends also say this)

Poor Emily. The recordings can't be removed without dismantling her.

;_;

Emily just like "NO do not send me to the mean lady who lied about Entrapta!!" by showing the video of Catra being shitty and blaming Entrapta

ANYWAY Scorpia gets the chip out of Emily herself--but damages it in the process. And Catra is pISSED

Ugh these scenes hurt to watch, I think it's just too close to shit I've heard people say to me

YEAH SCORPIA, FUCKING TELL HER

OH IT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD DOES IT, CATRA?? DOES IT???

--and so she lies to protect Scorpia

Catra is saying this and gdi that old vine of "why you lyin', stop fuckin' lyin'" popped into my head

ANYWAY Catra's little speech to Hordak is like....are you trying to convince him or yoU

but also it's wild to watch her go from like, weirdly desperate

to Mean Bitch again

SERIOUSLY THO are you talking to him or yourself????

mmmmmdon't like that

oh ho the chip thing Scorpia gave Catra was fake anyway

yay they leave to go find Entrapta

Oh man tho this is such a huge thing for Scorpia. She's prided herself on her and her family's loyalty to the Horde for SO LONG. I also love that she doesn't give some long speech to Catra about the whole thing--just that "you're a bad friend," and then fucking LEAVING

And that's the end of the episode :D

Also that's ep 32 out of 52. Twenty left!

[noxiatoxia]

your blog there for me through thick and thin nox. i've been following since i was So Young. i swear to god bro i've attempted like several times. and i keep coming back to your blog because your humor and ideas and acceptance and enthusiasm picks me up when like. literally everything but the dirt outside is decaying. i appreciate your existence here, at least, even though we barely talk, What you've done here is more than enough than a lot of people in my life, thank you dude

DUDE.....ANON I DUNNO WHO YOU ARE BUT I AM INCREDIBLY, INCREDIBLY HONORED BY YOUR WORDS, AND INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL YOU ARE STILL WITH US HERE TODAY. That takes a lot of courage and bravery, and I am so so happy and proud that you're pulling through.

Idk how long you've been following, thru my danganronpa phase or death note or even fuckin undertale, I'm so glad you're here, man. This blog means a lot to me, too-- it's why I never changed url or moved even once in my time since 2015. The memories I've made, good and bad alike, are irreplaceable to me, as are all the people I've met. Even the ones who fought with me or sent me death threats lmao, I've learned a lot from interacting with all sorts of people, and I still think about some of the asks I've received to this day, and the little things from my past that still pop up. I still remember when an anon told me they were inspired to name their dog Fondue after Rhythm Thief because I included the soundtrack in Chiaki Sim 2k16. I remember all the people who entrust me with art advice and otherwise. I remember when the creator of patchwork sans contacted me bc of an old drawing I made in 2015! I remember all the lengthy talks I've had with people sharing headcanons and ideas. Yes I've said and done stuff on here that I don't agree with anymore, but that's the whole point of living. You change, you mature, and slowly work your viewpoints out. Even then, I have a LOT to go, and I'll probably continue to do and say dumb shit, but at least I'll be learning from it.

So I'm glad you can find humor and comfort in my blog. If you want to ever DM me, I'd love to get to meet you. If not, I totally get that, I hope you have a good week!

[rarepairronpa]

Masterpost of rarepair playlists.

So, the results of the poll came in. The majority of people wanted a masterpost of my rarepair playlists. So, here it is!

Putting under read more because it turned out to be... a lot...

I am your god, a killer and a fraud!

An Imposter/Junko playlist.

Tracklist:

IDOLiZER by STYXVII

I am your god, a killer and a fraud I'm everything you want And everything you're not There's nothing here inside of me Cause I'm just here to be an effigy!

(...)

I feel disgusting when I think of you I hate my face cause I see you I am your god a killer and fraud I'm having problems the kind you cannot solve I'm just your pretty auxiliary And I let you take advantage of me.

I imagine this to simultaneously be about how Junko feels about the Imposter, and also how the Imposter feels about impersonating Junko; both directed at her & the other Remnants.

2. COPYCAT by Billie Eilish

Don't be cautious, don't be kind You committed, I'm your crime Push my button anytime You got your finger on the trigger But your trigger finger's mine.

Junko's POV of the relationship, very much so imo. A little bit more aggressive(?) than I think she'd feel on it, since it's more hmmm mutual? Like, she's encouraging the idolization & impersonation. For that reason, I think it fits Tsumugi/Junko more since that was more... one sided than this. And fun fact! This is actually on IDOLIZE ME, my Tsumugi/Junko playlist that will show up later.

3. This is My Heart by Vane

But, hey, don't you wanna get out of here?

I know that you want something more, my dear

On the count of three, I'll drop to my knees

You can call me by whatever you'd please

Your prince? Your princess? I don't care

Bite my neck and pull me close by the hair

I love the way you play with my heart

Will you promise not to rip it apart?

Ah, love or lust, well, who can say?

Mother Mary's dying either way.

From Junko's POV again. I feel like this song fits with most Junko ships, but especially Imposter/Junko for reasons I can't fully pin down/articulate. Also, nonbinary Junko hint!!

4. Two of a Kind by GHOST

You saw, the stars are melting away And it’s my place to say, Today, our lives will never be the same We were two of a kind

Something something how Imposter relates to Junko as they're both somewhat "changelings" in different ways something something.

5. Star of the Show by GHOST

Walk the rope or fall Adorn the vivid lights Declare the world is yours I find it hard not to laugh I should never be this high above the audience In all honesty, and I mean every word I’m not a freak I’m not an act I’m not a deity’s performance.

This is about the disconnect Imposter feels at preforming Junko when they feel mediocre to her. They aren't the god the Remnants want- that they want- and it's uncomfortable to pretend. But they keep pretending.

6. Remember My Name by Mitski

I gave too much of my heart tonight Can you come to where I'm staying And make some extra love? That I can save 'til tomorrow's show 'Cause I need somebody to remember my name After all that I can do for them is done I need someone to remember me.

Sooo this is going into headcanon realm but I like to think Junko was the first/only person to give Imposter a proper name/nickname. They're talking about needing someone to remember them, know them as who they actually are and not who they pretend, and Junko is that person to them.

7. Mary on a Cross by Ghost

You go down just like Holy Mary Mary on a, Mary on a cross Your beauty never ever scared me Mary on a, Mary on a cross

About how the Imposter sees Junko's death as something as a holy sin. Like, she's holy because of it & the people who took her down committed the Ultimate crime in their mind.

8. Metaphor by the Crane Wives

I've gotten good at leaning on metaphors I've gotten good at living on someone else's page I cut my teeth on second-hand sentiments You can't trust a single thing I say.

About how the both of them are "pretenders".

9. All Eyes On Me (Song Only) by Bo Burnham

Get your fuckin' hands up Get on out of your seat All eyes on me, all eyes on me Ay, fuckin' get your fuckin' hands up Get on out of your seat All eyes on me, all eyes on me, yeah Come on, heads down, pray for me Heads down now, pray for me I said get your fuckin' hands up Get on... All eyes on me, all eyes on me.

A song about how the Imposter emulates Junko, if that makes sense? This is them when they're cosplaying her, basically.

10. Where the Lonely Ones Roam by Digital Daggers

Say you have a little faith in me Just close your eyes and let me lead Follow me home Need to have a little trust in me Just close your eyes and let me lead Follow me home To where the lonely ones roam.

A Junko POV song. I put this on a lot of Ult. Despair playlists in general...

11. The President has a Sex Tape by K Flay

The president has a sex tape The medicine made you cry Hush don't worry 'cause I'm bringing a mask Yeah everybody's got a disguise.

A song about how the Imposter comes to resent the "elites" in despair. They're all corrupt, they're all garbage, and they're going to tear them all apart.

12. Beauty is Empty by Mars Argo (cover by Lullaby Layla and Keevin)

I see you staring in your mirror What will it take for you to see? Your pretty smile is a monster And your beauty is empty

A mix simultaneously about the Imposter impersonating Junko & their perspective on her. Their beauty, in imitating her, is empty.

13. A Good Song Never Dies by Saint Motel

Hope, the wonder drug, don't work no more, think it took too much Sweat, your equity Make the caffeine be your weaponry What, is the reason There never was one needed Fear, it's all around But it weighs too much to slow you down Now, is the time to act 'Cause the best defense is a timeless track No, you don't own me You don't even know me But when they play it, you can't help but sing along That's nothin' odd, that's nothin' wrong 'Cause a good song never dies.

(Imposter voice) JUNKO ENOSHIMA WILL NEVER DIE: THE TRACK. SHE WILL LIVE THROUGH ME. WE WILL BRING HER BACK. NO IM NOT IN DENIAL, YOURE IN DENIAL–

14. Under My Skin by Jukebox The Ghost

I can fit two people under my skin, yeah I can fit two people under my skin And I will prove it if you will listen You crawl up in there and join me within I can feel your heart beating under my skin And the beating of your heart is making me bleed from within And if we cut open your heart, pour it in a cup Do you think it'd be enough, do you think it'd be enough To fill my heart with music?

More on Imposter impersonating Junko.... they view them as the same.

15. God ish cover by Will Stetson

That's God-ish, baby, face it Yeah it's God-ish either way Like dying while you swear to God that you're healthy anyway That's super damn depressing Bet you're desperate for a raise How sad, how sad, Epigone born too late With your titles, and your art, your fancy story And your concerts and special songs, that stupid melody It's That-ish, darling, face it Yeah it's That-ish how you chase With your quoting, and how you boast, all your reviews How you're good with people, how you joke, all of your views That's God-ish, baby, face the facts Like that, like that It's got me going mad mad.

Both the Imposter at Junko and Junko at the Imposter. They're trying to be "that ish" and she's succeeding.

16. Frankenstein by Rina Sawayama

Oh, my God, this is so unbearable Make it stop, this is more than medical All I want is to feel beautiful inside and out You're the one who can save me from myself Destruction, 999, I need your help All I want is to feel beautiful Put me together one more time Love me forever, fix me right I could be your Frankenstein, Frankenstein Put me together, make me better Love me forever, hold me tight I could be your Frankenstein, Frankenstein

Mold me: the song. Make me in your image, Junko. (This is sure not to go wrong!)

17. From a Mountain in the Middle of the Cabins by Panic! At the Disco

Watch love get strangled by a kite's cold strings Fall comes early and summer leaves As a storm with the car keys Spark your heels up against the picket fence I built All your wishes they will sink like stones Slowly down a lonely well Go spin circles for me Wound relentlessly around the words we used to sling Oh, such torturous things Always chewing up the only ones I ever mean If you're goin', then go.

About how domestic Imposter and Junko were, but how trapped that made Junko feel. "If you want some domestic fantasy where we end happy, that's not what you'll get." And Imposter just... sighs. If you're going, then go.

18. Sick Muse by Metric

You better watch out cupid, stuck me with a sickness Pull your little arrows out, let me live my life The one I better lead, all the blondes are fantasies And we looked at them 11 ways You said, "Look at me", I looked away You wrote the song I wanna play I'll write you harmony in C Everybody, everybody just wanna fall in love Everybody, everybody just wanna play the lead Everybody, everybody just wanna fall in love Everybody, everybody just wanna play the lead Play the lead, play the lead

From Imposters POV. On some level they are aware this love is "sick" and that they aren't seeing Junko clearly (you said "look at me," I looked away) and that the whole thing is built on deception. But they truly cannot let go of this kinship they feel with her.

19. Cop Car by Mitski

I am cruel, I am gentle, I can make you laugh I am cruel, I am gentle, I can make you laugh I've loved many boys, I've loved many girls I don't think about the past it's always there anyway Don't think about the past, always there anyway And I will never die, I will never die, I will never die I will never die, I will never die, I will never die I will never die, I will never die I've preemptively blocked all the exits I've preemptively blocked all the exits So I will burn in this movie theater.

Junko Enoshima's POV 100%. Or alternatively Imposter trying to emulate Junko's POV (especially fits with that bit about pretending "you were mine").

20. Partner in Crime by Madilyn Mei

Here's the reigns Take ahold of me Please don't let me go You do the talking Sew up my mouth if I can't keep it closed There's a dog barking right around the block And a big ol' whistle blow Run for it I'll keep them occupied 'Cause I love you, I love you so Left me hanging at the station But you'll be back for me soon I'm 'bout to die Yet the only thing I find I'm worried about is you Something tells me you aren't coming Guess that I'm truly doomed I'm 'bout to die Yet the only thing I find I'm worried about is you I'm 'bout to die Yet the thing on my mind seems to nearly be nothing but you

I overhear your brain when it's close to mine Oh, I know that we're not the same My heart's on the line I'm just a pawn in your game Not your partner in crime.

Imposter's POV of what they know deep down: they're replaceable to Junko.

21. Delicious by Ayesha Erotica

That girl She's so delicious, yeah, the girl's got style She loves all the attention, yeah, she's servin' with a smile They came from hell to see her, so you know she's something right That girl She's so delicious, baby, come and take a bite

Junko is alluring: the song. Not much to say on this one.

22. I don't smoke by mitski

I don't smoke Except for when I'm missing you To remember your mouth, how it tasted true And I don't smoke Except for after I've held you, baby Being with you Makes the flame burn good So if you need to be mean Be mean to me I can take it and put it inside of me If your hands need to break More than trinkets in your room You can lean on my arm As you break my heart

A standard on any Junko ship playlist, really.

23. Hello Kitty by Jazmin Bean

I can teach you how to be just like me Crying all night, sleeping 'til three I can teach you how to be just like me, just listen carefully I can teach you how to be just like me (aha), cute as hello kitty

Alternating between Junko & Imposter. It's Imposter when the song talks about "Kitty" being their favorite friend and Junko during the chorus.

24. Shame by Mitski

It feels so good, it feels so good And right outside the door, nobody knows They're right outside the door and they don't know How it feels so good, it feels so good

I basically put this on almost every Ult. Despair playlist. It's very fitting.

25. Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother

It takes a dedicated hand To put it through the wall You gotta wanna break the heart Of all those pretty porcelain dolls You gotta wanna be the drummer in the band You gotta wanna be a battering ram You gotta see the artistry In tearing the place apart with me, baby

Junko's POV.

26. cult leader by KiNG MALA

I'm a cult leader, mind reader, heart eater Fear feeder, say I'm your favorite preacher If I wasn't a narcissist, I wouldn't like me either I'm a cult leader, best believe that she's a keeper Grim reaper lookin' for my cheerleaders If it's between love and money, I'd rather have neither

Junko's POV again.

27. Rebels by Call Me Karizma

Raise some hell before we ghost Break the rules, a broken nose You know us We're soldiers Rips and holes in baggy clothes Drippy hard from head to toes We won't budge For no one Rebels.

Imposter justifying their terrorist activity by claiming they're "rebels". The world is burning and they love it- because after everything they've been through, that's what they're owed.

28. Don't you want to become a cult leader? By BRAINDAAMAGE

Don't you want devoted followers? Who leave their families for you? Give their money to you? Give their bodies to you? Give up their lives for you? Consider you God, and will kill for you? Don't you want to become a cult leader? Since the death of God there has been a vacancy open You can fill that void, here's how.

I imagine this is like... imaginary Junko speaking to Imposter post-her death. Like. Don't you want to be me? Don't you want what I had? Don't you want to be a cult leader?

29. Black Wave by K Flay

Black wave coming will it hit I can taste the fear yeah it's written on my lips Sipping on a cold one waiting for the rinse Woke up with an omen tatted on my wrist Black wave coming will it drop I can see the fear yeah it's written on the wall Who you gonna trust when the killer is the cop Fire in my bloodstream, water in my lungs

About Imposter slowly being taken to Junko's side. After all the injustice they've seen... what do they believe in the end?

30. She Doesn't Sleep by Anthony Amorim

She doesn't sleep Not a wink, 'cause she knows what she needs And you'll be incorporated if she likes what she sees, what she sees She's counting the matches before she sets fire to the sheets She doesn't sleep Do you hear her? She's whispering secrets you'll never tell 'Cause she'll turn your days into a living hell There's no escaping if you give her the chance Can you feel her? Do you fear her? All she wants is for you to be near her There's no cause for alarm, she means you no harm if You do just what she says.

Imposter's POV on Junko.

31. Dear Arkansas Daughter by Lady Lamb

You with the dark curls, you with the watercolor eyes You who bares all your teeth in every smile

Imposter introspecting on their relationship/their POV of Junko.

32. My Alcoholic Friends by The Dresden Dolls

Should I choose a noble occupation? If I did I'd only show up late and sick And they would stare at me with hatred Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends My alcoholic friends The party never ends My alcoholic friends

The Imposter introspecting on their group on a whole.

33. Bitter Choco Decoration cover by Rachie

Surely here on out, From now until the end Hell will always follow me, even when I'm dead Ah, that’s why I’m begging Here, now and again Please, I wanna’ feel like i did back as a kid Not a single piece of clothing to cover what I did

Masking: the song. Deep down they know Junko has only extended their hell of impersonating people, all to further her own ends, and they hate that fact. They want to be "them" but they have no idea who that is anymore when they're not with her.

34. Villainous Thing by Shayfer James

And you'll find no ever after here It's clear that isn't what you came for And I'll be your puckish puppeteer On this delightful little detour And you'll find no ever after here It's clear that isn't what you came for And I'll be your puppet-puppeteer On this, on, on this Oh dear, let me see those smokey eyes 'Cause you're a villainous thing And we can't have you living a lie Oh dear, let's remove those pretty clothes 'Cause you're a villainous thing, oh And I don't think anyone knows

Junko justifying that they were like this deep down. They were like her, see? So she did nothing wrong in "corrupting" them, since the rot was there from the start. All she did was bring it to the surface.

35. Identity cover by Will Stetson

Trust and kindness, so seductive Programm made of sin But when everything is said and done The real culprit there was love Our identity love Is how you dream it It's an identity Our identity love Go and weep You're the cause of all the grief.

Imposters identity is intertwined with Junko. But that isn't a good thing, not by a long shot. She's the cause of their despair in the end.

And thats it! I realized halfway through this first playlist that I Cannot do this for every playlist. So. I'm sorry, but the rest of them don't have an indepth tracklist. That is literally just... so much work that I Cannot keep up. So, here's the rest of the playlists:

red wine supernova:

A Himiko/Junko playlist.

This one is unfinished as of now/very limited. Started because I thought red wine supernova fit them and I had just read something about them, so they were on my mind.

IDOLIZE ME.

A Tsumugi/Junko playlist.

A LOT of overlap with my Imposter/Junko playlist, for... obvious reasons, I think. Kinda feel like this one is mediocre in comparison. Think I nailed Imposter/Junko but this playlist pn the other hand could use some workshopping?

nanamiki madoka magica au playlist (no title yet)

Uhhh. So technically a nanamiki playlist, but one for a very specific AU about them. One that you can read here. Another really, really incomplete one. Listen at your own discretion, I suppose? I'm also only putting these types of playlists that tye into my fanfic if the story is focused on romance. So, like, I do technically have more rarepair ship playlists, they're just not focused on the ship?

cigarette duet

A Nagito/Hajime/Mikan playlist

Another mix that is technically for a story I wrote. Which you can read here. If you don't want to read, well, basically it's post canon OT3 with past Junkan & past smoking between the trio at different points.

liar~ (name subject to change)

A Celestia/Kaede playlist.

Yeah, I had to make something for my girls. A general playlist, but somewhat self-referential to my Celestia/Kaede story.

Me and Ms. Wolf

A Mikan/Junko playlist.

Uhh... this is semi-general but ties a lot into my fic of the same name. That, I, uh. Haven't posted a lot of.

YOU MAKE ME SO SICK.

An Akane/Junko playlist.

A part of my Ult. Despair/Junko playlists. Akane my beloved <3 warning for implied eating disorders.

you're my dog - you're my beast

A Gundham/Junko playlist.

Animal metaphors. Animal metaphors everywhere.

call me a chef, because I'll make your blood boil

A Teruteru/Junko playlist.

So. Um. I don't really.... like Teruteru.... but I kept coming across songs that made me think of despair!Teruteru & Junko. And kept having thoughts about them. So, I made a playlist. It's tough because I do think Teruteru had potential as a character, but they literally introduced him trying to SA Sonia. So. Well. There goes any chances of me liking him. I generally tend to think that the writers just... massively butchered his character. Nowadays I tend to blame the writers more than the character, but uhhh. Yeah. Probably the only time I'm going to make a Teruteru playlist, lol.

dancing with our hands tied

An Imposter/Mikan/Ryota playlist.

Ostensibly a playlist about my Imposter story, unknown birthday. But. General enough it works for general Imposter/Mikan/Ryota vibes. It's also massively unfinished, though, so... listen at your own discretion.

my heavy hearted friend (finally I've become a happy girl)

A Junko/Chihiro & Alter Ego/Junko mix.

A fair amount of overlap between this & my Enonami mix (which will show up later). A general mix, not for a story.

what use is a puzzle already solved? (the worst thing you could be is irrelevant)

A Kyouko/Junko playlist.

Wooooo toxic yuri ftw. I love the title because it's. Exactly what I feel about the two of them. Also! One of the playlists I think I did pretty good on. Especially because there's a lot of unique songs on it.

Widowmaker

A Junko/Mikan / Ryouko/Mikan playlist. (With Yasuke also dating Ryouko/Junko and Mikan being on good terms with him, so maybe technically Ryouko/Mikan/Yasuke, but he's really a light presence on the actual playlist.)

For my fanfic Widowmaker. Time traveling Mikan going back to DR0 to save Ryouko/Junko and her alone. She's is... a bit morally grey, lol. Yasuke and her are on good terms, too. United in their goals to save Junko from herself.

your gold dust eyes and your love so free

A Mikan/Kazuichi playlist.

Unfinished, but less so than others on this list. I want to eventually write a Mikan/Kazuichi fanfic, but I haven't so far :(

christmas kids

A dark!Chiaki/Hajime playlist.

Made for my dark!Hinanami story. If you like Chiaki with extreme abandonment issues, this one's for you, folks!

townie

A Mahiru/Mikan(/Junko) playlist.

Made for my fanfic of the same name. Endgame Mahiru/Mikan but there's also Junko/Mikan and Mahiru/Junko in this.

the sugar turned bitter

A Mikan/Ryouko playlist.

As the description says: "Ryouko/Mikan in an AU where Mikan was Yasuke's assistant in DR0, fell in love with Ryouko then, only for that to be the perfect foundation for Junko to manipulate her into despair once she remembered." Which I have actually written about here.

Washing Machine Heart

A Sato/Mikan playlist.

Description taken from my Sato/Mikan story but tends to be a general playlist about the two. Sato/Mikan my beloved...

meltdown (my perfect world)

A Ryota/Junko playlist set in my DR:IF story.

Set in this story! Woof are they a mess. So much Olivia Rodrigo.

lower your eyes, my love and spite look quite alike

A doomed toxic Yuri Chiaki/Mikan playlist.

I like it..... sometimes..... when girls are The Worst <3

she's got you bound, a girl so cute that you madden now!

A Kazuichi/Junko playlist.

I love you kazujunko<3

...well, better than the alternative.

A Mikan/Chiaki/Junko playlist.

Set vaguely in this universe. Sometimes you want wholesome polycules, and sometimes you want just the worst, messy polycules in existence. Duality.

you belong to the industry, baby

A Sayaka/Junko playlist.

Toxic Yuri alert! Perfect title for this ship to me. These two are sooo messy, in my head the dynamic is like. Junko being cloying and fake with glee & Sayaka reciprocating on the outside but SEETHING on the inside like, this girl is SOOOO fake what the fuck does she want from me. And then they kiss. And she'd extra like. Well okay what the fuck does she want from this.

we'll just let them drown

A Mikan/Junko playlist from Junko's POV.

This is basically just a lose collection of songs I think Junko would feel about Mikan in the event she actually cared about her.

that's all that i've wanted for longer than you could possibly know

A Junko/Mikan playlist primarily from Mikan's POV.

Listen. Gonna be honest. I have a lotttt of Junkan playlists. Most of my Mikan playlists in general have Junkan in them. I have a soft spot for Junkan, is what I'm saying.

you can't save me.

A Junko/Mikan Madoka Magica AU playlist.

I .... have a lot of madoka magica aus, okay? You can read this one here. I actually did mention this in my Junkan post, so you might have already seen it.

I'll take your apathy

A Junko/Komaru playlist.

JUNKOMARU MY GIRLS..... I looove them. So much <3

that's alright, that's okay, you barely wrote them anyway!

A Tsumugi/Kokichi playlist (could be interpreted platonic or romantic).

Narrative foils my beloved.... wolf in sheep clothing... vs sheep in wolves clothing...

you don't know me

A non despair!Junko/Yasuke/Mikan playlist.

Ostensibly for my non despair Junko/Yasuke/Mikan fic. Mainly Junko POV and about her.

you thought you saw light but it was forest fires

A Kaede/Tsumugi playlist.

Made this when I was writing for Kaemugi week last year. Or was it this year? Not sure. Time is fake, anyway.

I could have been anyone

A Junko/Mikan playlist.

Specifically about Mikan getting over Junko. So, you know, if that's not the flavor of Junkan you want right now...

what a waste of a lovely night!

A Mikan/Nagito playlist.

Made for my fic series, all we're looking for is love. A little short/incomplete, but still cohesive enough.

I am close enough to lose

A Hajime/Nagito/Mikan/Chiaki playlist.

WOOO OT4 PLAYLIST... my favorite beloved OT4...

back-back-backstabber!

A Ryota/Junko playlist.

Made for what I've been writing about Ryota/Junko in this fic, albeit unposted as of now.

if you find it hard to swallow, I can loosen up your collar

A despair!Chiaki/Nagito playlist.

Made for this work, but works pretty well as a general despair Komanami playlist imo?

this sadness will fossilize

A Mukuro/Mikan playlist.

Can be listened to as a general playlist, but also was made for my Mukuro/Mikan story of the same name.

scary love

A Chiaki/Nagito playlist.

Vastly incomplete. I love Komanami but I had a hard time on this one. Sorry, Komanami.

collapsing stars

An despair!Natsumi/Izuru(/Junko) playlist.

For my despair!Natsumi story! Mainly focused on the Izuru/Natsumi but has a lil bit of Natsumi/Junko in there?

you've had to greet me with goodbye

A despair!Chiaki/Sonia playlist.

Made for my despair Sonia/Chiaki story! Ohhh they are so tragic and messed up. Chiaki is really, really unhealthy with her abandonment issues & need to test her partners commitment. Junko really messed her upppp.

did you outlive your use?

A Izuru/Mikan playlist.

WOOOO WOOOO WOOOO KAMUMIKI WOOOO WOOOO.

I fell in love with a war (nobody told me it ended)

A Chiaki/Mikan positive playlist.

Also has past Junkan but not the good kind. Nanamiki save me.... save me nanamiki....

but I'm still in love with judas, baby

A DR1 mastermind!Mikan/Ryouko playlist.

Girls who are sooooo unhealthy <3 playlist for my DR1 mastermind!Mikan story.

I'm a voluntary victim

A Chiaki/Junko playlist.

I LOVE THIS ONE..... ENONAMI FOREVER....

[what happened to us?]

A Izayoi/Seiko/Ruruka playlist.

DOOMED OT3.... THE DOOOOMED OT3..... unfortunately not anywhere near finished.

who is the lamb and who is the knife?

A Ryouko/Yasuke playlist.

A Ryouko and Yasuke playlist! With some Junko vibes. I love you danganronpa zero. (Spoilers for that, obvs.)

looking down from above, I'm intrigued by their love

A mastermind!Kaede/Kokichi playlist.

They are being evil together <3 ostensibly about my mastermind!oumaede story.

with the same damn hunger

A Miu/Mikan playlist.

I believe in Miu/Mikan toxic yuri!! My girls are a wreck and they are making it everyone else's problem!!!

oh look at you, strawberry blonde!

A Junko/Mikan playlist.

Another Junkan playlist... because I love my girls.

all the good girls go to hell

A Hajime/Natsumi/Mikan playlist.

Set in this story. I am a big believer of Natsumi/Mikan having AMAZING potential. I have the right to make up super rarepairs for my girls who have never interacted before in their life, no, daresay, I have a DUTY.

say you love me or I'll kill you!

A Mikan/Junko playlist where Mikan realizes Junko is cheating on her with Yasuke.

For this story. Junko, your plans have severely backfired. Toxic Yuri style.

highlight of my lowlife

A Kaede/Kokichi playlist.

I love oumaede!!!! Purple liars go brrr.

if you can cry real tears then, you're gonna cry them all for me

An Izuru/Junko playlist.

A little unfinished, still building this one up some. But you KNOW I love Junko/Izuru. I eat up Junko ships like they're crack cocaine and I'm an addict. Or something, I don't know.

ghost

A Junko/Mikan playlist.

A fan made playlist for this story - for once not my own story! I was just so enthralled with ghost!Junko in this story, she's sooo interesting.

like a cheshire cat i think you are just a grin

A non despair!Junko/Mikan playlist.

Made for this story of mine! Non despair Junkan good....

i am not a vessel for your good intents

A Junko/Makoto playlist.

A playlist for Naejunko! Sort of varying in themes since it was kinda meant to encapsulate my naejunko collection.

a reason to smile from six feet underground

A Nagito/Junko playlist.

Also hints at Chiaki/Nagito, since "high school sweetheart" komanami is my favorite vibe. Uh, big warning for abuse in this one though. That's true for almost all the Junko ship playlists, but extra applicable here.

love you in a panic

A Mikan/Nagito playlist.

Extremely proud of this one. So many great komamiki songs... if I could animate I'd do so many animatics with this playlist. Hints of past Junko/Mikan and Junko/Nagito if I remember right? I love you Komamiki.... actually funnily enough Komamiki was the first ship I was extremely passionate about.

i tried to do handstands for you, but everytime i fell for you

A Hajime/Mikan playlist.

And this is... about as far back as my Spotify allows. I know I have more playlists than this, but uh, not letting me access them, so I guess this is it? Gonna try to play with it later and see if I can access them on the computer, if I can I will add any extra ones in a reblog. In addition...

Crossover ship playlists:

Now, these are 100% for crossover I've written. There's only three of them- and after this, I'll get into the platonic relationship playlists I've made (can't remember how many of those there are).

so cold

A port mafia!Mikan/Osamu Dazai (Bungou Stray Dogs) playlist.

Uhhhh. For my bsd crossover with port mafia mikan. You know that post that's like, you all are freaks, everyone sucks here, but it works for you and it's hilarious so keep doing it, just don't involve anyone else? It's that. Chuuya is the one who very much wants to Not Be Involved and yet he's pulled into it, poor sap. Mikan/Dazai is toxic4toxic but it oddly works for them and honestly, them dating anyone else would be a disaster of epic proportion in this. They match each other's freak. Mikan "I let people call me dog/pig and oink/bark for them and even ask strangers if they want me to" Tsumiki and Osamu "I call the people I love dogs to degrade them" Dazai should have never met but now that they have, it's hilarious, keep it up. At least Chuuya is somewhat spared from the dog treatment this time? (None of these people actually have a dog.) This is truly the worst anyone's ever done it, you're all messes. Chuuya wants nothing to do with you freaks (me when I lie).

hand in bruised hand

A Mikan/Izuku Midoriya (Boku No Hero Academia) playlist.

So, uh. This one's a bit more complicated. I got attached to Mikan and Izuku in my big BNHA/DR crossover work, but, uh. They would NOT be healthy there, no siree. So, instead... I made a spin off series all about them. That's what the playlist is about; that spin off series. And, unlike in my main crossover where Junko kinda ruined their relationship, and unlike my BSD's crossover where Mikan and Dazai are being freak4freak and making each other worse (in a fun way), I do genuinely think Izuku/Mikan in these series is just... genuinely good for each other. That's half of the tragedy of my main crossover between the two; they could have genuinely been really good for each other if it wasn't for Junko. There are realities where they are happy together and that's part of why it hurts.

freaks

A Izuku/Mikan hero class civil warfare playlist.

A playlist specifically for my hero class civil warfare AU in my Izumiki collection. Very unfinished as of now. Funnily enough, the art for it is mine! (My art blog is @aesthetically-jaded ).

Platonic relationships:

Only really two of these- one familiar and one you could... interpret as ship if you really wanted to but wasn't intended?

misunderstood's an understatement at best

A Hiyoko & Mikan playlist.

I've talked about this before, but I adore thinking about Hiyoko and Mikan's relationship. It's so messy and complicated, I just want to shake the girls and have them resolve the conflict. Hiyoko (imo) cares about Mikan underneath her projection, self hate, and victim blaming, but she's also 100% her bully. Mikan doesn't owe her forgiveness for that, especially in a non despair setting. But what makes this already messy dynamic messier is Mikan killing Hiyoko in the simulation. Mikan shouldn't have done that either and Hiyoko doesn't owe her forgiveness either. So you're left with two deeply messed up people who cared about each other, yes, but also deeply hurt each other in ways neither of them might not be able to forgive. What do you do with that? It's facinating to explore.

I'd be fine with people interpreting this as a ship mix, even though it was intended to be platonic. Imo, Hiyoko and Mikan are so interesting and complicated both as characters and in their relationship with each other- it was definitely an abusive dynamic but I do believe that a) there was care there and b) people can learn from their mistakes and become less abusive if they put in the work. So while it's a very dysfunctional relationship, I can see a world where they both heal and their dynamic becomes healthier. Not going to attack someone for being a fan of that idea, either, so listen to it whichever way you want. I cannot be throwing stones in my glass Junko ship house.

the two of us are hung from the same twisted rope

A Mukuro & Junko playlist.

This one I am not comfortable with shipping, though, for obvious reasons I feel. This is a purely familiar playlist about our favorite despair sisters.

Bonus:

This one's a bonus because it's not... technically a ship playlist? But it could be considered one.

what does despair mean to you?

A Junko/Ultimate Despair playlist.

Originally made for this story, but tbh works as a general Ult. Despair playlist. And it is heavy on the Junko/Ultimate Despair relationships to the point that... yeah, you could consider it a shipping playlist, lol. I also just really like this one, even if it is ungodly long.

And that's it, at least for now. Gosh, this is going to be a pain to tag, aha.

[griseldabanks]

1, 3, 7, 8, 11, 13-16, and 24-29 for the fic-writer's ask game, please?

the last sentence you wrote

"I have a feeling you're going to learn more about me than you ever wanted to know."

3. how you feel about your current WIP

I've got a lot of WIPs right now, but the one I kind of consider my "main" one right now is a chapter (or maybe two?) for my Captain America fic Take Me Beyond. I have to confess I'm a little self-conscious about it right now, because it's full of romantic fluff, and goes in a direction I've never really written before, so I'm kind of terrified of how it will turn out and how it will be received. So it's probably a good thing that for now it remains locked away from the world, and only I know what I scribble in the secret watches of the night :P

7. your preferred writing fonts

Already answered this one - Times New Roman, because it's the default and I can't be bothered. Though...actually, I'm writing my main WIP on Google Docs, and the default there is Arial, and I keep it that way.

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

You know, I think I'd go for a sequel to my Captain America fic "Honey, I've Been There." I actually had some thoughts of where I would take that AU before Take Me In fell into my lap and completely took over my life. "Honey, I've Been There" was all about Bucky's relationship with Steve's daughter, Juliet, so I was thinking of doing another fic focusing on Bucky's relationship with Steve's son, Jimmy. It would be a bit later, when Jimmy is a teenager and starts getting in trouble at school, and Bucky has to be the first one to give him a talking-to because his parents are off doing superhero stuff. That idea is still floating around in my head, though admittedly having written more than 350k words about Steve with a different son has kind of taken the wind out of that idea's sails.

11. a WIP you’d like to finish someday

You know what? I'd really like to get back to working on the Jak & Daxter novelization I was working on before Captain America barged into my life and completely derailed everything I was working on in 2016. I managed to write eight chapters (plus a prologue) of that novelization before I set it aside, and while the way I was approaching it was probably too game-y and I'd need to start over from scratch anyway because my writing is so much improved, it's still such a good story. I've been slowly replaying the games recently, and remembering all the things I wanted to do with that novelization. The way I wanted to flesh out the characters and relationships, the headcanons I wanted to insert because my ideas are better than theirs. One of these days I'll get back to it. One of these days.

13. a fandom you’re thinking about writing for

Actually, just today I was thinking about writing something for the anime Buddy Daddies. I'm watching it for the third time (first time in the dub), and it's just...it's so good. I want more of such great characters. And the fandom needs more content for them that does not ship Kazuki and Rei :/ And I also long for a crossover with Captain America, so if I ever figure out a good way to do that, you can bet you'll see some!

14. where do you get your inspiration?

Wow, such a broad question. I guess sometimes it's just an interesting concept that unfolds into an actual story, like "What if Sherlock is blinded and has to do his deductions without being able to see?" But I guess most of the time, the inspiration for the stories I write come from the stories I read. If you were to put up a list of all the fics I've read against my faves list, you could probably draw lines connecting the ideas I got from which fics inspired them.

15. favorite weather for writing

I was thinking about it, and I actually don't think the weather really influences my writing one way or another. That might be partly because a lot of my writing gets done in the evening, when it's too dark to see the weather anyway. Necessity and a lack of time has meant that I can't worry about writing things in the wrong season, either. If it's August and I'm melting but the next scene I need to write requires the characters to snuggle up under a blanket in front of a fire, too bad!

16. favorite place to write

Pretty much the only place I write is on my computer at my desk.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

If we are to dip our buckets into the well of creativity, we must first fill the well - by reading, watching, reading, playing, reading, talking, and reading. I'm also trying to learn the value of rest. Yes, it's important to cultivate a discipline of regular writing, but it's also important to not push yourself to the breaking point.

25. besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

Reading, if you couldn't guess. Playing video games (particularly ones with good stories). I dabble a little bit in video editing, and I've recently felt the urge to get back into cross-stitch. I sewed a couple of cross-stitch designs when I was a teenager, and it was a lot of fun (and not as daunting as other kinds of sewing, lol).

26. are you able to write with other people around?

It's actually kind of hard for me to do that ^^' It was like that for me with school, too; in college, I was never the kind of person who thrived with study parties or going to coffee shops to study. It's the same with writing; I need a minimum of distractions. Also, if other people are around, with a few exceptions, I feel like I'm going to be rude if I have my earbuds in and then they try to talk to me. So the only way I can write around other people is if there's that unspoken understanding that we're going to introvert together.

27. your favorite part of the writing process

I love it when I've thought through a scene and know what I need to write, and then I finally get a chance to sit down and find out how it's going to come out on the paper. It might not come out exactly the way I daydreamed it to myself while falling asleep, but that's the fun part!

28. your least favorite part of the writing process

Honestly? Research. Sometimes you can go down fascinating rabbit trails that suck you in, and sometimes "research" actually just means "rewatching/rereading the source material you already love to look for a detail," and that's always fun. Maybe I've just been burned by all the dull and hard-to-understand legal jargon I've had to look up for a certain project of mine, but a lot of times when I realize I need to research something to figure out how a scene is going to work, I just get this sinking feeling and it's really hard to motivate myself to do it. Feels too much like school. Please just download the information to my brain so I can get on with writing the story that we actually care about.

29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

UUUUUGHGHGHG, SOOOOOOOO HAAAAAAAAAARD DX I never know what to call anything, so with a very few exceptions, my titles will generally end up either some generic word, or a line from a song that feels appropriate.

Fic Writer Ask Game

[sunflowershouto]

if they hurt your feelings - headcanon (iwaizumi, oikawa)

𝐚/𝐧: here's some headcanons! lemme know if you want a part 2 with different/more characters cause these were super fun -leo

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: hurt/comfort, angst to fluff, no warnings other than the boys accidentally being buttfaces

my haikyuu masterlist

𝐈𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐌𝐈

✰ Iwa is a fairly blunt person who doesn't mince words.

✰ That's not to say that he doesn't have a filter, but if he thinks something needs to be said, then he's going to say it.

✰ You were discussing plans for what to do after highschool, and Hajime said something that implied that he thought you were being naive.

✰ "You need to be more realistic about your plans for the future. Not everything is a fairy tale like you think it is."

✰ You understood his point, but the way that he said it was undeniably hurtful, and you reacted negatively almost immediately.

✰ You've always been worried that he sees you as being immature, and this really struck a nerve. After all, Iwa has always been calm and collected when it comes to making plans, he always seems to have it together.

✰ All of those little insecurities start to bubble up, and before you know it, there's a lump in your throat and your eyes are watering.

✰ The second you start to reply, and he hears the way your voice breaks, Hajime realizes that he's screwed up.

✰ "I-I know I'm not as good at this stuff as you are, Haji, but I'm not- I'm not an idiot. I just wanted to be optimistic."

✰ Hearing you say that breaks his heart a little bit.

✰ "Hey, hey, don't cry," he mumbles, and brings up a hand to the side of your face. He feels absolutely awful—all he wants to do is help you and make sure you're prepared, and instead he's made you feel like he doesn't trust your judgement. "I didn't mean that, not the way that I said it."

✰ He's stroking your cheek and trying to stay calm, but he's sort of panicking on the inside, because he can tell that there's something deeper that he's struck on and he doesn't know how to approach it.

✰ "I know how hard you're trying, baby. I know you're taking your future seriously, and I don't think badly of you for being optimistic. I'm sorry, I just want things to go well for you."

✰ He's just as straightforward about comforting you as he is about everything else, and that really helps.

✰ When he sees that your eyes are still watering, he pulls you to his chest and holds you tight. He presses his lips to your forehead and holds you there for a moment.

✰ You're starting to feel better as he addresses some of the root of the problem, and you sink further into his hold. Iwa always gives the best hugs, and it's hard not to feel better when he's holding you so lovingly.

✰ "I'm so sorry if I've ever made you feel like I don't believe in you," he murmurs. You can tell in his voice that guilt is eating him alive.

✰ The two of you stand there like that, with Hajime holding you and whispering reassurances, and just trying to fix any damage he might have just done.

✰ In the aftermath of it happening, he'd be a little extra sweet, take you on a nice date and just try to make up for it, and give you more reminders of how amazing he thinks you are.

✰ He's extra affectionate that evening too, and holds you close as you both fall asleep, as if he's still trying to apologize in his own way.

✰ Long term though, I see him wanting to have another discussion about why you might have those insecurities, because the idea of you thinking that he sees you as anything less that brilliant kills him a little inside.

✰ He loves you so much, and going forward he's much more careful of how he says things, and you guys have a much healthier, much more communicative relationship.

𝐎𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀

✰ As much as we all love him, it's no secret that Tooru can be a little bit of a dick sometimes, even to people he cares about, and even when he doesn't mean to.

✰ He's really good at reading people on the court, but sometimes misses things when it comes to other people's emotions, especially subtle things.

✰ It's not that he doesn't care, but Oikawa is a hard worker who gets really caught up in his own routines and goals, which means he doesn't always stop and think about someone else's perspective.

✰ It happens over something that he sees as small, but something much more meaningful to you.

✰ You'd stayed up late preparing food last night, knowing that Tooru had an interview with a professional team the next day. You put a lot of effort into preparing a meal for him, wanting to give him a little extra motivation and support, even if you couldn't be there with him in person.

✰ It was a lot of cooking, but more than that, it was something that you had poured a lot of love into, and you were really proud to give it to him the next morning.

✰ "Sweetheart, I made you a bento last night to take with you; it's got all your favorites in it!"

✰ Tooru is shuffling around the apartment, finding his coat, keys, wallet, making sure he has everything he needs with him. He's preoccupied, and doesn't really stop to process what you've said.

✰ "That's okay, babe. I'm gonna eat out today," he calls as he gets to the front door. "I'll be home for dinner, love~!"

✰ And just like that, you hear the door shut, and Tooru is gone.

✰ You try not to feel too defeated, but the longer you stare at the tupperware on the counter and replay Oikawa's careless response in your head, the more frustrated you become.

✰ You'd stayed up all night just to make a stupid meal for him, and he didn't even say 'thank you' or 'sorry' for turning it down. Hell, you'd barely even gotten a goodbye out of him.

✰ You headed to work and tried to carry on with your day, trying to tell yourself not to overreact or be selfish. After all, it was a big day for him, and you were worrying about a stupid lunchbox.

✰ Trying to get over what had happened, you send Tooru a text at around lunchtime.

✰ hi love, how's it going so far?

✰ He didn't open it right away, but you assumed he was just busy, and didn't think anything of it.

✰ You finished your shift, and when you checked your phone. . . Nothing.

✰ Tooru was busy, yes, but he normally always found time to text you back. In fact, it was usually him blowing up your phone while you were at work.

✰ You just sighed and headed back to the apartment and decided to wait for him.

✰ By the time he got back, his dinner was cold and you had already eaten, and were now sitting on the sofa, watching reruns on TV.

✰ "There's my girl!" he chirps like nothing's the matter, and stops dead in his tracks when you cast him a cold stare over your shoulder before looking back at the TV.

✰ "Oh..." He sets his things down on the table and rubs the back of his neck, unsure of what to do. "I did something, didn't I?"

✰ "You think so?" you mutter, though you can't help but feel like you're reacting a bit too harshly. But even when the anger subsides, the hurt is still leftover, simmering.

✰ He slowly sits down next to you, and pokes your cheek, knowing full well that you're not in the mood. "C'mon," he chides, his voice light and playful even though he's clearly worried. "Are you gonna keep pouting or are you gonna tell me what's the matter?"

✰ You resist for a moment, but melt as he continues to stare at you. Finally, you groan and turn to face him. "This morning, Tooru. I spent hours last night making you that lunch, and you didn't even care. You barely said goodbye, and you didn't tell me you'd be home late tonight, either."

✰ "Ah... Crap."

✰ He's quiet for a minute, and you're not sure what he's thinking, and then you realize that he looks like he's about to cry. He starts apologizing profusely, and pulls you into a hug so tight that you think your lungs might have deflated.

✰ "I promise I'll eat everything you cook for the next million billion years! And I'll say goodbye to you every morning for the rest of forever!"

✰ You can't help but smile now. "Tooru, I don't think we'll be alive that lon-"

✰ "Don't say that! The rest of forever! Goodbye kisses!"

✰ Oikawa is nothing if not theatrical, but the emotion is genuine, and you're reminded why you love him so much.

✰ The rest of the night he might as well be glued to you because he literally does not leave your side. You're loading the dishwasher and he's hanging off of you like a giant whiny koala and kissing all over your face.

✰ And you know what, you love it :,)

[jamiewintons]

I had to ask for the fluff prompts: “Have you seen my hoodie?” “Noo.” “You’re wearing it, aren’t you?” for Jamie (poor Jamie, he keep getting his clothes stolen 😂)

From this prompt list.

Warnings: One s*xual reference.

Today was the day that you were finally moving in, and Jamie was excited. He couldn't stop himself from smiling as he got ready to go over to your place and help you pack your things up. He'd showered, gotten dressed, and was almost prepared to walk out the door, but there was one more thing he needed, as it was a rather cold day outside.

His favourite red hoodie was nowhere to be found. He'd checked everywhere around the house, but it just seemed to have disappeared without a trace. Jamie thought back to the last time he remembered seeing it, and…

Ah, that explained it.

It seemed that Jamie's favourite hoodie happened to be your favourite as well. Ever since the first time he'd given it to you to wear when you'd forgotten to bring a jumper of your own, you'd been mildly obsessed with it. Oftentimes you'd be wearing it when you were at his place, and conveniently "forget" you had it when you left. Honestly Jamie didn't mind if you wanted to keep it, he just didn't quite understand your fascination with it.

Knowing that he wasn't going to find his hoodie anywhere in his own house, Jamie grabbed a different jacket, along with his phone so he could call you before he left. He opened his phone and called your number, patiently waiting for you to pick up.

It only took a few rings before he heard your tired voice on the other end. "Morning Jamie," you said, clearly trying to fight off a yawn.

"Good morning, love, I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, I've been awake for a while. I just had a bit of trouble getting to sleep last night, I guess I was just too excited." Jamie's smile widened when you said that, because he'd felt the exact same way. It had been a struggle to shut his brain off and drift off to sleep.

"Well, do you want me to come over now? The sooner we get everything sorted the sooner we can relax." To be fair, it probably wouldn't take that long, since a lot of your stuff was already at Jamie's place anyway.

"Sounds good. I'll see you soon, then?"

"Wait, before you go, have you seen my hoodie?" Jamie asked, pretending like he didn't already know the answer to his question.

You were silent for a few moments until you spoke up again, giving a rather unconvincing, "Nooo…."

"You're wearing it, aren't you?"

"…Yes."

"Why don't you just keep it? It looks better on you anyway." Jamie had offered it to you many times, but you always refused, only to steal it again at the next given opportunity.

"That's not how this works, Jamie. If you let me keep this, I'll just have to steal another item of your clothing… and if things continue like that, you'll end up with no clothes to wear at all." You hummed in thought momentarily. "Actually, that doesn't sound so bad…"

You didn't need to see Jamie with your own eyes to know that he was blushing, by the way he stammered over his words as if he'd forgotten what he was going to say. You weren't able to help yourself from giggling at how easy it was to fluster Jamie. He was just too cute.

"Don't worry, Jamie, I'd never do something so cruel," you told him, wishing that you could see the expression on his face. "Come on, let's get this over and done with. I'm sick of not living with you."

Jamie's smile returned. Once again, he felt the exact same way.

Requests for fics/drabbles, headcanons, and character preferences are currently OPEN!

[beauleifu]

HII YES IVE BEEN DEAD? IM SORRY-

I’m still like… consuming your writing like a mad man tho. I’ll get notifications of you being called my tumblr crush and I immediately get side tracked from whatever I was doing 🙏😭

OH YES BUT THE RECENT UPDATE?? stopitwiththecliffhangersistg- BUT YESSSS blue man >:3 I love that weird little creepy guy, he’s so funky. Also I’m not any less concerned about Y/N, they still need therapy 😮

ANYWAYS HOW HAS LIFE BEEN!! YOURE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE!! <33 also happy early holidays :))

YAAAAASSSSS BABE TELL ME ALL ABOUT EVERYTHING I MISSED YOU!!! Good to hear from you i literally have to apologize as well for not reaching out but HEY, it happens, life gets in the way, so dont ever worry because people reconvene even after years of being apart and still acting like besties.

ANYWAYS

THANK YTOUSDFGDSLIG i write that shit FOR PPL LIKE YOU PERSONALLY SO

and cliffhangers, i literally cannot write a story without at LEAST two or three cliffhangers I MEAN IT WORKS RIGHT, ITS EFFECTIVE SO WHY NOT

planning to update soon dont you worry ;)

and i've been doing great! school is officially DONE and I'll be reopening oneshot/headcanon asks tomorrow night (during teh day i'll be cleaning, i had a huge party today). and HAPPY EARLY CHRISTMAS!

im so scared

i havent finished any presents but i been SO BUSY HOLY-

[agape-bakery]

As the faint music plays from the speakers, hardly being heard by the eager customers wanting to buy or to be bought gifts, and couples walking around outside with roses and teddy bears, meanwhile you sit at the table with a sour look.

"My, does someone not have a Valentines today?" Solomon points out as Simeon and Luke quickly look up from their homemade chocolates.

"MC!? With no Valentines?!" Luke exclaimed, his eyes wide like he heard something unimaginable.

"I'd be more surprised if they don't have one, considering that there are several people who would do anything to have that title." Simeon chuckles and you grumble, "The Brothers are hiding something and they won't tell me.."

"Surely, they're planning a surprise, right?" Solomon asks and you shrug, "I've been asking Asmo and Beel but even they don't want to answer."

"They're always up to no good if they're working together, I'm a little curious to see what will happen this time." "Don't joke about it, Simeon! What if they're trying to hide something ominous?" Luke turns to you with lighthearted determination in his eyes, "Don't worry, MC! If anything bad happens, I'll protect you!"

You chuckle and pat his head, "Thank you, Luke."

"You've been getting mysterious gifts from 'secret admirers' from what I heard. And I'm curious too, actually..." Solomon tilts his head with a knowing smile, and you turn to him with confusion and a lingering sense of suspicion, "About what?"

"About who your Valentine will be this year."

Well, MC? Who will you pick?

♡---♡---♡---♡

Hello, everyone!! Welcome to my first ever mini-event, Love is in the Air! Not only to celebrate Valentine's Day but also my birthday month, so I wanted to make this special!

I want to explain that this event will have two (2) parts. The first is Hugs that will go on for the first half of the month (February 1-14), and the second half is Chocolates! (February 14-28)

Hugs will include:

Your writing Requests about Hugs, Kisses, and other requests you may have about Valentine's Day!

Q&A, ask me about anything you like!

Some headcanons about what the brothers are doing before and during this event!

Chocolates will include:

Drawing Requests! I will (messily and badly) draw your requests :D

Mini matchups for you! (Will be explained more after Hugs is done!)

A few short stories about our favorite brothers 👀

The headers above will indicate which part I am working on (mostly) and that's about it for now! I understand many things are messy with this event so if you have any questions or feedback, please feel free to tell me.

The requests will still be open after this event is over however I'll close and open it again often so I won't take years trying to write everything :P

With that, have a Happy Valentine's Day, and I hope you enjoy this event!! <3

[musicallisto]

lololol, i'm going through all of our bridgerton au stuff to make a timeline-esque spreadsheet that has realistic timestamps and compilations of what we've mentioned thus far so i can avoid redundancy in the future (my abilities to write entire novels and series in detailed spreadsheets is unmatched and unstoppable. you didn't ask for this but my desire to make Spreadsheets cannot be sated), and just,,,,,,,, comparing our writing styles is the most endearing thing,,,,,, you are Eloquent and Without Mistakes and the Wittiest Person in The Group Chat and i am the opposite - rambling profusely and creating so many side moments that complicate the story further while riddling my headcanons with So. Many. Typos,,,,,,,,, and honestly, the typos are killing me,,,,,, 😭😭😭 when i write, i will go back and revise parts of a sentence ~to add depth and understanding~ but then forget to double check that it actually makes sense as a whole and i just—

😔✌️

you're stuck with me and i'm only half apologizing for it.

SHUT UPPPPPPPPPP I literally think the same about you. every time I read your headcanons I'm like, "olive is out there writing fully-fledged novels with organic, regency-typical dialogue, and so far I've used 3 distinct words." azjfbejjfqbjfbu no one is doing it like us <3333

but omg I read your latest ~installment~ before bed last night and !!!!!!!!!!!! OLIVE!!!! how could you do this to me??? I need the next episode YESTERDAY. the cliffhanger!!!!!!! i'll literally never get enough of this AU, everything you write is <3333 my words can't accurately capture how *emotional* it made me. I'm just!!!! a hopeless romantic!!!! and I would sell my soul to live in a universe written by you!!!!!! the garden scene at lady danbury's AJBFZJBZFUA i was HOLDING MY BREATH !!!!!!!! unparalleled. wow. never the same totally unique completely not ever been done before unafraid to reference or not reference!!!!!!! I'm just continuously blown away by how accurately you read me? everything you write sounds real, sounds like something I'd say/do/ a situation I'd find myself in, lol. never have I been analyzed that way. you even remembered Pluto!!!!!!!!! (my cat, who does happen to be black <3)

I'll try to write my own follow up between today and tomorrow, because I have a *lot* of ideas for your character arc lmao. hope you like them, and hope you continue to destroy me with your brilliance and eloquence. 💜

[icecoldwilliams]

//In honor of Nina's birthday today, I wanna talk about our lovely assassin. And since this is my first time making a post dedicated to a headcanon, we're talking about a big one. Tbh it's more of a theory I've been meaning to address for awhile.

𝐻𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃: The Wedding Fiasco was a set up/accident.

Controversial, I'm aware. This is gonna get a lil long, so sit back and keep reading below the cut for my reasoning behind this.💜

Ever since Tekken 4, it can be argued that Nina has been trying to avoid her dear little sister with a pesky habit for constantly tailing her. She only called her in Tekken 5 when she decided she needed to remember, but the second most of her memories came back she settled their rivalry and moved on. Spending years avoiding her sister again afterwards, to the point of even going completely underground. Even when she reemerges to help Jin with the war, she still very clearly wants nothing to do with Anna.

So why the hell - after spending years avoiding Anna, and the second Anna finally gives up and retires - would Nina just suddenly turn around and purposefully do something she absolutely knows would hurt and upset Anna so badly that she'd be relentlessly back on her tail again?

For a long time I've had the thought that maybe this was an accident of some kind - and if you've seen in my threads, I do write Nina as if she believes it was. My belief being maybe she signed the contract knowing she was going after multiple mafia & GCorp related targets - it is specified she killed targets, plural, she didn't solely target Anna's fiancé -, knowing one of them was getting married to someone, and she didn't realize who that someone was until after the job was already done. As it is stated Anna only caught sight of her sister when she was already fleeing the scene. ━ And side note, we’ve seen how Nina torments Anna before. Wouldn’t she at least stay long enough to see her sisters reaction or taunt her if this was on purpose? 

And for a long time that's all I've thought about the issue, but recently I was telling someone on here about it, and one of the first things they said after I told them the story was something along the lines of "Sounds like they were set up." Which idk why the idea never occurred to me before, but it actually makes perfect sense to me. Anna had just retired, Nina returned underground, it could be argued they were both finally out of the fight. If someone didn't want them out of the conflict going on, or still wanted to use them and their skills for whatever reason, what better way to drag them back in than spark the fire that got them into the tournaments in the first place, and make them hate each other even more..? Even if it's one sided? Easily could be nothing, but Anna's little tidbit in T7 even mentions after this incident "Anna, fueled by rage, decided to return to the fight once more."

Now clearly the answer of who that person is is Harada lol. But canonically in game wise, I do have a hunch... but barely anything to back it, so for now that is where the headcanon/theory ends 💜 (but like.. pay me and I'll point fingers lol jk) and I do have a a hunch Steve might play a role in fixing everything. But I’ve talked too much.😊 Maybe another time if people really want me too.

Anyway, come on Tekken 8 prove me right. 💜

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!

[keiscait]

Hello!! Could I get a haikyuu living room matchup? 🥺💞

I'm 5'5 and have short, green hair, I use any pronouns, preferably they/them though and I'm bisexual! Though I'd prefer male for this matchup! I've been told I can look pretty intimidating, but I'm actually very anxious and touchstarved :') I'm only cold towards people I don't like, but I'm very protective of people I care about! after getting comfortable with someone, I'll be quite touchy since my love language is touch. I can be pretty stubborn and quite well at arguments, so I'll always stand my ground! By zodiac I'm a Sun Taurus, Moon Sagittarius and have an Aquarius rising.

In a partner I'm looking for someone who I can have fun with, joke around, but someone who knows how to be serious when it's needed. Someone who's patient, and pretty emotionally open. I'd like to be able to cuddle with them, and I have sudden bursts where I need reassurance or touch.

I'm resending mine, since reading the latest post I've taken off a portion of my last request! I hope I got everything right this time! -🌿

Hello and welcome, my darling! I’m so sorry for the crazy delay, I hope you’re still here with us. Thank you so much for being so considerate and resending your request to fit with the rules. I won’t make you wait any longer then! Let’s get right to the living room! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

Here in the living room, we’re joined by..

(Runner up: Sugawara Koushi)

Oikawa is one of the biggest people-pleasers ever. He’s persistent on tearing down others’ walls, and does so quite skillfully that it’s become second nature to him. While it’s expected of him to be deceptive, he keeps up his sincerity and takes great care with everything he does. 

- OIKAWA IS A FRICKING DISNEY PRINCE 

- ok i just had to get that out of my system

- anyway

- He’d totally get on your nerves at first coz that’s what he’s good at

- kidding again

- I think the fact that you’re cold and intimidating is actually what draws him to you

- Perhaps at first it’ll be for his own selfish reasons, such as wanting to prove to himself that he can get along with anyone, but eventually he’ll be in too deep

- He will succeed at winning you over, so you start opening up to him bit by bit, so he’s like fuck yea. im a god. mission accomplished 😌

- But just when he thinks it’s over, suddenly he finds himself wondering where you are, what you’re doing, why he isn’t with you righT THIS MOMENT

- Then he catches himself and he’s like “Hahahaha, pull yourself together, Tooru 😅”

- But one day, maybe when he’s really stressed out, he stomps out to get some air, and there you are! Looking as radiant as ever! Oh how comforting your presence is and wow did you change your hair he never noticed how it frames your face so wel-- shit.

- He grows quieter than usual as he realizes how taken he is with you

- He considers distancing himself from you because of his pride, but realizes that it’s useless because he just c a n n o t stay away

- SLICK AS HELL WITH HIS CONFESSION. CHANGE MY MIND

- Although this doesn’t change the fact that he was so nervous to admit it

- He is so so so so affectionate, and this will be consistent no matter how much you poke fun at him

- He embraces your stubbornness and how good you are at arguing. He’s used to Iwaizumi, who is similar, and I would go as far as saying he adores this dynamic

- Showers you with praise and affection, and makes sure you don’t ever doubt his feelings for you

- He tries to put a little extra effort into this, and at first glance, it may seem like it’s just coz that’s how he really is, but it’s also because he knows he has a lot of touchy fans who may try to get in the way of your relationship, so this is how he makes it up to you

- Does not hesitate to show you off too. I headcanon that he has a perfectly curated Instagram feed, and takes the most aesthetic couple photos (thanks as well to Takeru who you help babysit sometimes)

- ALWAYS picks you up and drops you off for dates. Non-negotiable for him

- HANDSYYYYY

~

It’s been 3 hours.

He’s been serving, spiking, tossing for 3 whole hours.

This was how he blew off steam - repetitively trying to prove to himself that it wasn’t because he’s incompetent. 

I didn’t lead my team into defeat, he tries to swallow. I didn’t fail them. These thoughts plagued him loudly, completely drowning out whatever sounds surrounded him at the moment.

Volleyballs littered the court; a billowing clap echoing through the gym from the impact of each spike. This has become a routine he has with himself when suffering a loss - he channels his restlessness into practice until he has no other but to rest. Anyway, he’s used to picking himself back up every time, realizing that some things are beyond his control, but he knows he has to let himself ride this wave of uneasiness. And what a mighty wave it was today.

He toppled over out of exhaustion. He sat on the floor of the empty gym, head bowing down, trying to catch his breath from overexertion. With palms faced up, nearly purple from all the friction, he didn’t even notice how numb they’ve gotten. He had to admit he was being a little cruel with himself today.

“Finally had enough?”

He was jolted out of his wallowing by the familiar consolation of your voice. His head whipped to look over his shoulder, and there you stood - the very subject of his affection. Somehow, even with concern pooling from your eyes, fondness still curved over your lips. Just the sight of you made the ringing in his ears stop, and he was now wrapped in a warm silence - like the heat from a fireplace after hours in a blizzard. 

You walked over to where he sat, finding a spot on the floor across him. You reached out and held his hands in yours.

“Go easy on yourself,” you pleaded as you studied his callouses, “I don’t like seeing you like this.”

He sighed as you started to trace shapes on his palms. “I don’t know how else to quiet my thoughts, dearest,” he tried to explain, “this is what I’ve always done to make myself feel better.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “And how’s that working out for ya, Mr. Hotshot?” Your tone was playful, clearly referring to the sorry state of his hands. Even your teasing brought some slight comfort to him, like it was a reminder that everything else in his life remains the same. 

“You know, you and I are a team, right?”

He blinked at your words. His mouth was slightly parted, about to question the intent behind them, but right then, it hit him.

He was no longer alone. Years spent trying to be an icon, an image, an idea for others to project themselves on; a person who was worth looking up to, who was worthy of being put on a pedestal - these were the things he had always worked towards, carrying this weight on his shoulders by himself. But these were the same things that got him to where he is now: soaked with sweat, barely able to catch his breath, hands swelling from a numbing pain.

Now, it was different. He no longer felt the need to prove himself constantly. The fear of not being enough no longer lingers, and nothing worries him in the middle of the night when he lets his own walls down. He now knows that when his hands are grasping for relief, they don’t have to be numbed by electrifying pain. You’ll be right there, as you are now - soothing circles into his skin, quieting the voices that plague him even when there’s no one in the stands.

~

I hope you liked that, dear! Please don’t hesitate to sit and have a chat with me any day.

Thanks for stopping by! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ