#[auggreed angst]

[askblog-cvesocs]

General…

me yapping to ajax about auggreed angst:

(i swear at first i meant to summarize it but obviously my brain cannot summarize for shit.)

auggreed angst:

auggie starts hanging out with cage, and before they started to hang out with each other, reed started to distance himself from auggie (unknowingly. he like, didn’t want to, ya know), and he distanced himself so much that he felt bad talking to auggie, so he kinda stopped talking to him altogether. and then one time when cage and auggie talk about reed (like the fact that he’s visibly sad more often and they both know why), they both wanna help him, but cage doesn’t wanna like, go tell him or talk to him directly, so they both ask vee to help reed make new friends because he needs new friends (and vee tries. but she actually gets distracted doing handshakes and stuff with reed instead of talking to him about it, so she doesn’t talk about it yet), and then later, auggie goes to reed’s house to talk to reed. reed answers the door, and, to auggie, he looks really pissed, but really, reed is scared to talk to him. auggie tries to talk to him ask him what’s wrong and how they can fix it, whatever the problem is. reed answers auggie’s questions passive aggressively(?) (i think?) and he’s not really answering. he’s being vague and avoiding the questions, and auggie tells him that he wants him to just, be straight up about it, and reed accidentally yells at him (raises his voice at him, but to auggie it felt like he was yelling), “auggie, not everyone can communicate as well as you, not everyone can be straight forward with you! i can’t be straightforward with you right now. i.. i don’t know how! i don’t know what’s wrong.. i’m sorry but i just can’t tell you. i don’t know. i can’t always be straight up about it. it doesn’t always work that way. please just, i can’t. i’m sorry but i can’t.”

(what i didn’t send to ajax yet): — that hurt auggie. he doesn’t know why, (neither do i), but it really hurt. after auggie leaves, reed mentally beats himself up about the whole thing. — about him distancing himself from auggie. about him not talking to auggie nearly as much anymore. about feeling like shit because he’s worried that auggie is gonna end up hating him or disliking him. about his realization that auggie, right now, is basically his everything. about the fact that he’s lonely without auggie. about the fact that he hung out with auggie so much that now he feels like auggie is sick of him because of it. about the fact that auggie is now hanging out with cage, and cage and reed ended up distancing, so he’s worried that what happened with him and cage will happen with him and auggie too. — reed is scared that auggie is gonna start to become distant as well after this. he knows that he, himself, is becoming distant, but if auggie becomes distant too, he’s scared that their friendship, relationship, might end. it might be over. he’s worried that they’ll end up becoming strangers after a while, like he and cage seemed to. he’s worried that auggie might leave him for good. that he might give up on trying to talk to him. — reed tells himself that he should talk to him, that he should try to fix it, but for some reason he can’t bring himself to do it.

reed thought of their conversation as an argument with auggie. auggie saw it as just a really stern conversation that was serious. — auggie went to cage after this, and he told him about how it went. (he didn’t really go into specifics about what they said to each other, but he did tell him word for word what reed had said to him).

— (by the way, what i said reed said isn’t like fully accurate or set in stone. i might rewrite what he actually said) —

when auggie went to cage to talk about it, cage told him that he should try and give reed some time to figure out what he needs to figure out. cage told auggie,

wooo!! cage monologue! (i think it’s a monologue?) (he means this all lightheartedly too. i wrote only dialogue because it’s easier for me.) — (this is very sentimental. after writing it all and rereading it, i’m like tearing up.)

“even though reed is distancing himself from you, i know that deep down, reed feels like total shit about it. even though he may seem upset with you, he’s probably not. i’m.. sure that he’s in a battle with himself right now. i.. i know how it feels. but, don’t give up on him, auggie. don’t stop trying to talk to him or figure it out. it might take him some time, so.. give him that time. if you really want to figure things out with him, he’s gonna need some time, so.. let him have it. i made the mistake of.. of giving up on him. of giving up on trying. i just.. i felt like i couldn’t make things better with us anymore, so i didn’t try. and.. now look at us. i’m sure he sees me as a total stranger now. ..but he truly cherishes you, auggie. i know that he does. he’s.. probably scared right now that.. that what happened with us, is gonna happen with you guys. so.. don’t give up on him. be.. be gentle. let him know that you haven’t stopped caring. subtly. maybe talking to him directly about it isn’t a good approach, at least not for him. but maybe just.. simply smiling at him when you pass by each other will work. if he doesn’t say anything to you, just smile at him. give him a wave or something. just, some kind of acknowledgment that.. that he exists. i.. i made that mistake. i made it seem like i really stopped caring. i think i stopped acknowledging him. and.. and he gave up on me too.. we never went back. we never tried again.. to.. to be friends. and, i do want to try again with him, be his friend again.. but.. at this point, i feel like i really can’t. but.. but you guys can. you guys can work through it. i know you can. i know you can, auggie. you’re.. you’re understanding. you’re patient. you’ll give him time, if that’s what he needs. i know you will. because you’re like that. you’re.. you’re stubborn. you won’t just give up. and if you did, well i truly doubt that you ever would. but.. you’re a keeper, auggie. he doesn’t want to lose you, and i know it. i don’t ever wanna lose you either. you’re an amazing person. …and i really appreciate you. you’ve helped me. especially that.. that time with ethan. i.. i really, truly, cannot thank you enough, for being there for me. and i’ll be there for you as well. i want to be there for you when you need it. you deserve to be cared for. to be cared about. you deserve to have the same support that you give to others. …ya know, i feel like you probably don’t care about yourself as much you care about others. well, specifically the people close to you. but, you should care about yourself. i don’t know if you do already, but, i really hope you do take care of yourself. treat yourself well. you really deserve it.”

halfway through this, auggie started tearing up. happy tears. grateful tears.

uhmm… aannnddd… i take a bow. thank you for reading. this is about all i got right now.

but..

auggreed angst!!!! (i love them so much. it breaks my heart)

and cage and auggie fluff. <33

(i’m so glad that i finally have something good to post. finallyyy some story time. yippie sauce)

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[askblog-cvesocs]

General…

auggreed angst is in season

reed would be listening to this and lying in bed, staring at his ceiling, and spinning his lil fidget ring while thinking about auggie.

context? coming later because i need to eat breakfast

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