#[The Restless Tides of the Eastern Seaboard - Ao Guang]

[funnel-webbed-au]

A Quiet Calamity

Tag List: @skellebonez,

Riley's Notes: Knock knock bitch, it's angst o'clock. Nezha has to go talk to Ao Guang because he feels obligated to. He is NOT received the way he expected because this AU is supposed to have themes of trauma and recovery. Also, CW for referenced suicide as per Nezha's myth. Also note I am working on something else at the moment and this blog isn't high on my priorities right now.

He'd always known this would be the hardest part.

As Nezha made his way through the underwater, yet watertight city, he could feel a sinking sense of dread, a sense of fear that made his skin crawl... and that made the venom in his veins burn far worse than the restraints that had been used to subdue him. The Deity flinched as he caught glances of the distant descendants of the still-living children of Ao Guang, innumerable Dragons who each paused to look at him.

He could feel them staring, feel their judgement, feel their hatred for taking one of their ancestors from them. Nezha sighed, crossing his arms as he allowed the Fire-Tipped Spear to be taken by the Huan-Tian Ling Sash. The armillary sash clasped the spear firmly, wrapping itself around the blade in a blatant reminder of the blood that still couldn't be washed off, despite its invisibility.

Each step began to feel heavier, like someone was dragging him down, trying to stop him from going further. Still, he persisted, even though he could feel the fear of his younger self as he struggled to slow him down, even enough to stop.

No.

The only thing he had to fear was fear itself.

Nezha walked up the steps to the grand East Sea palace, even though each piece of cut material felt sticky, like his feet would be glued to them. Still, he marched on, until he was close enough to knock on the front gates of such an enormous building.

The deity hesitated, but soon enough, two knocks on the palace doors reach his ears, and now all he could do was wait.

The East Sea Dragon King opened the doors. His eyes widened for a moment, then narrowed, brow furrowing. This man had some nerve to be here, at his palace, after all of the blood on his hands and on his spear. One of the Dragon's sons had met his fate to this man long ago, but the Dragon's wrath faltered as he saw the tired bags under the Deity's eyes, and the way he carried himself. He behaved as if he was under duress, and as if he had been forced here.

He had no will of his own.

"What did they do to you...?" Ao Guang's voice brought Nezha pause. The Deity's eyes widened as the electricity in his veins died down, and with it, his tremors. Well. If there was any kindness, any love, to be found in this terrifying place, he wasn't letting that lie.

Nezha sighed. "Only the ones that love me would believe the answers I have for that question, and I can count them on one hand. Hong Hai'Er, Bai Xian, His Highness Erlang Shen, and Lady Lian Lanhua. Although Sun Wukong and Chang'E might be applicable, which would make six."

The East Sea Dragon King released a heavy breath.

"I will not press you for an answer you are unwilling to give... but you underestimate how many cartoonishly evil acts I have heard of, witnessed, and done..."

Nezha couldn't help but restrain a chuckle. Cartoonish evil? He'd been privy to that, privy to the worst of it. He'd been a victim of it. Sure, Ao Guang had his reasons, but nothing justified it. Nothing ever would.

"Like forcing a child to-" The Deity stopped and pulled away, the icy claws of dread sinking into his heart.

"...I... I should take my leave-"

Ao Guang grabbed his wrist.

When the shorter immortal turned to him, he realized that Ao Guang's brow had furrowed, expression and thoughts muddled.

"...No. This needs to be addressed.

I didn't have the right."

With those words, it felt like the world was closing in on him. Nezha could feel the stares, feel the judgement from across the city. His lungs felt like they were filling with fluid, filling with his own blood... just like that day. His vision swam as the steps shifted beneath his feet, all while the Dragon King remained steady on them.

Ao Guang caught the ancient Deity when his legs gave way beneath him. Some part of him just wished it would all stop, wished it would wait for him. But nothing and no one would wait for him...

He needed to rest.

~ ~ ~

Ao Guang carried the tiny Deity through the halls, arms firmly yet gently clasped around him. Where a 6'2 Deity had once stood and walked alongside him, a frightened, 4'6 child was now in his arms, trying so hard to trust one of the people who'd hurt him the most.

As the East Sea Dragon King sat down in his chambers, he let Nezha rest on his lap, running his claws through the little boy's hair. It was hard for him to miss the tremors from him that resulted from every touch, no matter how light, and it made Ao Guang's heart feel like it was made of lead.

"...do you promise...? Promise not to be a scary dragon...?"

Ao Guang retracted his claws, carefully adjusting to scratch behind Nezha's ears. Six hundred years ago, he wouldn't have known how important such a small gesture would be, but he'd come to appreciate a man he hadn't even liked before as a dear friend. It was only natural at this point.

Nezha released soft purrs, breaching the relative quiet of the room. For once, the scales felt familiar, soothing, and he couldn't help it. The tension in his body melted away entirely, as if he hadn't felt like he was choking on the steps mere hours before. As his heart slowed and his eyelids grew heavy, he finally felt the magics in his veins balance themselves. Finally, the volatility was quelled for a time, and Gods, had he missed this.

Ao Guang didn't move him, even after the little Deity fell asleep there.

Footnotes: FW!Nezha sometimes regresses as a trauma response and defense mechanism. It's the only way he can fully block out his traumatic memories for lengths of time. This is how I chose to integrate both his child and adult forms into this AU, as both depictions are important.