#[🎀] — beloved. kat.

[conductoriya]

LAST STOP! YOU BETTER GET OFF!

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. :* MUTUALS:

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© CHOSOSCAMGIRL ! — do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

[superm4ks]

F1isms aside how are you doing? sounds like it’s been a rough half year, hope you’re hanging in there

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀 tysm for asking🩷

I mean our fund raiser nearly hit its goal but tbh like it’s so crazy to me that so many people already wanna help us so like even irl I have family and friends who I thought wud come thru and didn’t. Like my aunt literally just called us this week offering COTA tickets and I was like . Can’t u just help pay a few medical bills. Can’t u send my mom some rent money because yk shes about to lose the house and she can’t get a job and we’re gonna be homeless lmfao. And my aunt was actually super offended that I was offended lmfao and now I feel like I shud have told her yes and then made another giveaway for those fucking tickets because fuck her. but whtvr. I think for some reason I just didn’t expect to feel so alone. Yk other people struggling wid their own shit but like. Me and Mrs kat have my mom, who’s can barely afford to feed us and keep us off the streets. Mrs kat parents came out all the way from Marseille to have Xmas wid us and it was nice ((I thought)) and now they refuse her calls and say they will send HER money but only her, under the condition that she dumps me because I’m holding her back wid all my baggage and my chronic pain and fucked up shoulder and addiction. And I’m black so I’m not right for her anyway 😐 I served these people food in my moms house lmfao.

Mrs kat got dreams of her own here tho she wants to finish her studies and pay off student loans like .. and she wants to be wid me. So her parents like cut her off completely and they stopped sending money a long time ago.

This shit is really fucked up and complex Im just trying to tell u , yeah. It’s been fucking rough. 😣😣😣 I do have a ‘job’ now which is something, I do errands for this like INSANE woman who’s prolly gonna get me arrested but she’s paying me weekly and that’s all that matters. My mom says I need to find something wid a contract immediately and that’s why I need the fundraiser money so we don’t completely become homeless while I search for safer options. I also need to go back to rehab and physio asap because I feel like I’m losing my mind and my benefits only afford medical physio from a shitty fucking clinic like once a month and it’s always full. I’m in pain all the time rn. I got duped into this extremely expensive surgery I’m STILL paying for and now it’s like they don’t care that I still need physio to actually getter better.

My cats are ok 🥹 Chica rejected some medicine for some stomach issues she had and had to back to the vet ((more bills 😭)) and it was scary but she’s back super stable and almost 100%. Calypso is SUPER pregnant, due prolly next month and we want her to have the babes wid us because it’s her first litter and she’s an anxious diva but that’s sm WORK and we’re kinda like NOW??? Ok. But she seems safer wid us, comfortable, and gonna be a real good momma. Chica has been incredible wid her too. They really be taking care of each other.

So yh if u still got some spare change u wanna throw our way my p.aypals is: kt.s.mays@gmail.com . U will also register for my bdays ((august 5th)) first anual ‘supermaks gives back’ where I pick a few of u thru p.aypal to send back my much beloved max merch as a thank u . I know this is dumb but idk what else to do. Idk how that’s gonna work either but I’m excited we’ll figure it out. Y’all been here for me twice now . Makes me wanna cry when I think of it too much.

I appreciate all yalls help wid all my heart. Just knowing there’s strangers out there who still want to c us fight to c another day and do better, bro that’s more meaningful to me than words can say.

I am hanging in there. Thanks to u

God bless u 🤍

[hanazou]

GASPS HUA Your theme, I'm in love. I'm just gonna be here adoring the shade of purple you chose ahsjsk

🔮 : STOPP you're always too nice pls youre making me blushh

[mtnkat3]

Where My Heart Will Take Me (Theme from "Enterprise") [TV Version] by Russell Watson, New York Trek Orchestra & Jeremy Lubbock. https://www.shazam.com/track/11120181/where-my-heart-will-take-me-theme-from-enterprise-tv-version

I've been thinking about you . . . . .

I miss you . . . . .

G'night my beloved Bears . Angels . . . . .

I pray everything is alright..

Lip chew.

Yours . . . . .

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. ✝️☸⚓🙇‍♀️🙏🤲🌂🔗🌟🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🕯🧭💫🎁🎀😴💋

M.12.26.2022 12.12am est.

*lingerie from Google.

[mtnkat3]

Time For Me To Come Home (feat. Dorothy Shackleford) - Blake Shelton

https://www.shazam.com/track/68186795/time-for-me-to-come-home-feat-dorothy-shackleford

Hallmark Christmas movies love using this song! Preformed by several different artists. It really touches my heart.

I wish I could get a good picture of the night sky... the stars are out & twinkling bright & beautiful tonight.

I love you . . . . .

Merry Christmas my beloved Bears Angels . . . . .

Yours . . . . .

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix.✝️☸⚓🙏🙇‍♀️🤲🌂🔗💓🌟🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🕯🧭🎅🎄🎁🎀💫💋

Su.12.25.2022 12.11am est.

[mtnkat3]

12.20am opps! I guess I fell asleep my loves..... blushing shyly. Probably ~45 minutes. You . . . . . wanna play with...smack my butt...? Giggling softly. That's a fun one.. dang tumblr for tags & blocking posts! I loved that one! Dang it. Pout. Well my sexy maverick Bears . Angels . . . . . I'm sure you're asleep..... now I'm gonna take my meds & go too.. & dream of you . . . . .& having fun with you.....hhmm... smack. Giggling softly. I so wanna be laying in your . . . . . arms to sleep. Warm & cozy...loved & wanted. Sigh. Ok my loves.....sleep well & sweetest of dreams.. I know mine will be being about you . . . . . G'night my beloved Bears . Angels . . . . . I love you . . . . . I am always, Yours . . . . . ~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. ✝️🌺🐾🐯☸⚓🤓🤭🙇‍♀️🙏🤲🌂🔗⛓🧰🦉🐢🌱🌳🌲🧶🧵⌚⚡🌟🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎅🎄🎁🎀💓💋🕯🧭🛌😴W.12.21.2022 12.58am est.

[mtnkat3]

11.46pm.

G'night my beloved Bears . Angels . . . . .

I pray you have the sweetest of dreams

& get a good nights rest.

I am concerned about you always . . . . .

I hope you.....had a good day today. That life treated you well..

That I have perhaps made you smile..... & you . . . . . are happy with.. me.

I hope so anyways.

I miss you though . . . . .

I hope you can feel & know that....

I just.. I want to be experiencing your voices... eyes...bodys... to be able to read the queues..... I just..

I love you . . . . .

& I want to get this right.

Bowing my head.

Yes, I will be thinking about you as I get ready & go to bed.....& maybe naughty..... that is when I can feel like I'm doing right & you . . . . . Whimpering softly. Oh..f*ck...my Bears . . . . . Yes. I will be! & all about you!!!!!

Blushing grin. Time to get my butt to bed. Giggling softly.

I want you . . . . .

I crave you . . . . .

I love & adore you . . . . .

Mark my mind my sexy maverick Bears . . . . . & you will inevitably be marking my body as you have my soul too . . . . .

Rushing to get to bed!

I am!

Yours . . . . .

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. ✝️🌺🐾🐯☸⚓🙏🙇‍♀️🤲⛓🧰🌂🔗⌚⚡🌟🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🕯🧭🎅🎄🎁🎀💓🛌😴😏😘😌💋

M.12.19.2022 12.11am est.

[mtnkat3]

3.16pm. Well my loves.....here is my very basic Christmas. I didn't bring out my "nice" dishes or anything. Just too tired. But at least I can sit down now & eat. Since I clean as I cook. I won't have to do too much. Thank God. And thank You Lord for this food & for Creating me! I am one very pooped kat! I miss you my loves..... my beloved Bears . Angels..... so very much!!!!! I am! Yours . . . . . Always, ~TkP. ✝️☸⚓🙇‍♀️🙏🤲🌂🔗🌟🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🕯🧭💫👼🎅🎄🎁🎀💋🤗😘

[mtnkat3]

Merry Christmas!!!!!

My beloved precious maverick yummy Bears . Angels ! ! ! ! !

G'night & sweetest of dreams my loves.....

I am Always .

Yours . . . . .

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. ✝️☸⚓🙏🙇‍♀️🤲🌂🔗🌟🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🕯🧭🎅🎄🎁🎀💫🥰💋😴

Su.12.25.2022 12.40am est.

[mtnkat3]

4.34pm. Deep breaths. Back at the house my loves..... just too dang cold & not being cuddled close to you.....

for me to endure being out in crowds.

& knowing scrooge..I couldn't take it. I was just like let's go back to the house, [h] jogging pants will wait til after Christmas to find.

Giggling softly. Interesting "Christmas" gif search!

Me. I love watching people enjoy fun & all the food I & others make. Then I make sure all cleaned up then take a nap. Usually until the next group comes to the house! Lol! It least that's what growing up was like. I lived in grandparents back pocket so we were usually the place everybody came to.

Now.. well..

But that's about to change! Yippee!!!!!!!!!😁😂🥰

I want to spend every moment with you . . . . . they are all special & unique & important when we will be together & loving!!!!!

Right now I'm so cold & just wanna not be layered up because our home is warm & cozy & safe & full of life & laughter & quiet & peaceful when we want it to be.. how we want it to be.....

I complexly love & adore you . . . . .

& ..blushing shyly... I think you do feel it . . . . . Hhmmm.....

So wanna crawl into your laps & wrap myself around you right now .....

Sleepy tired kat. Blushing grin. Kinda like hibernation kat. Giggling.

I love you . . . . .

And I am here.....

Until.....God rips the locks off!!!!!

Please let that be in January Lord? Please?????

No more special days missed from my beloved Bears Angels!!!!!

No more Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, father's/mother's days, valentine's, july 4ths, vacations... anniversaries..... without you.....

Please let us make up for all the years not together Lord? Please?????

I have missed you . . . . .

For an eternity.

Now.....

It is time.

& I am.

Yours . . . . .

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix.✝️☸⚓🙏🙇‍♀️🤲🌂🔗🌟🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🧭🕯🎄🎁🎀🎅💓💫💋

Sa.12.24.2022 4.56pm est.

[mtnkat3]

G'night my beloved Bears . Angels . . . . .

Sweetest of dreams.

I miss you . . . . .

I hope that you've had a good day.....

I crave you .. love you .. adore you . . . . .

Yours . . . . .

Chewing lips.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. ✝️🌺🐾🐯☸⚓🙇‍♀️🙏🤲🌂🔗🦉🐢🐐🐛🌳🧶🧵⌚⚡🌟🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️🌡❄☃️🌬🎅🎄🎁🎀🕯🧭💋

Sa.12.24.2022 2.26am est.

[mtnkat3]

1.36pm

Guide me Father. Please.

So I might break loose the chains binding me. The ones bent on my destruction. The ones the adversary is using to keep me down beneath a boot heel. My neck & soul being crushed by the weight of vindictive, malice hate bent on destroying my soul.

Dear Lord, in Your Wisdom, Guidance, Grace, Mercy.. strengthen my ability to Persevere & see Your Light shining.

In Your Wisdom You brought me this close to my soul's precious beloved perfect for me mates.. my priceless treasured Gift of my Bears . Angels . . . . .

Please show me Your Light to make it the rest of the way over the bridge.

The way is treacherous though. With h making it so I'm spending money so that there will be little but some of the settlement left when all is done. It is the evil demon within him trying this. I am being careful though. I am sacrificing my health & happiness to do this right. To do this righteously & Guided by You Lord.

I know I need must step out in my Faith though.

And in that I need Your Hand Lord.

I believe that I am ready.

But I know there are hidden crevices waiting me.. waiting for me to misstep & fall to my death. Both my spiritual life & my physical life.

I know my loves.....are standing & waiting. So patiently for me. It humbles me. And galvanizes me.

So I ask Lord..

What is the proper way for me to both move out & still be able to get my belongings without h burning them all in his destructive vengeful rage.

He is even trying to say the reason he didn't succeed in beating me up last night was because he wasn't wearing shoes so had no traction! Evil. Bully. Coward. H cannot admit that I am not weak, & he isn't He-man. More like an overweight, out of work supervillain. That allegedly works from home.

Deep breath.

So Lord. I am going to write a document that I will then email to my atty. So that once they are back can say yay or nay to.

I don't know if this having my cake & eating it too.

But I will never walk away from a fight. I will make sure the fight is properly resolved. No anger left before bedtime. I do not wish to ever deal again with ill feelings festering & spreading infection & malcontent with destruction.

I believe in ending things with as clean a slate as possible. Even with a handshake if possible.

All I know is that I am listening closely. I need Guidance.. signs.. Lord. To step ever so carefully.

So then I may jump off the cliffside as I come across the bridge tunnel & walk into my beloved Bears Angels arms.....

No place I'd rather be than in your . . . . .arms.

To be the best me. The best woman, friend, ..... for us to have the best life together.

I pray Lord. Guide my steps. Amen.

I believe wholeheartedly. Therefore I work, listen & wait.

~True love never dies & true love always waits.~

Your humbled bowed listening carefully closely quietly daughter.

Your complex quirky warrior queen daughter.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix.✝️☸⚓ 🤓👩‍🏫👩‍🎓🕵️‍♀️👩‍🌾🥶🧣🧤🥾🏔🌂🔗⛓🧰📋🗓⚙⚒🛠⚖🔐🌝🗽🏗🧱🏰⚔🛡🥧🥮🥨🥓🍳🥩🍯🍼☕🍫🍭🌰🍎🍑🍒🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌲🧶🧵⌚⚡🌟🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎅❄🌡☃️🎄🎁🎀💫💋🕯🧭🕯🧭🕯🧭🕯🧭🕯🧭

Fr.12.23.2022 2.25pm est.

Today is friends popping in day! Lol! Ah!🙄🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[mtnkat3]

11.36am.

Very frustrated my loves.....

I emailed my atty, as only way seem willing to talk to me now. And demanding more money. Gr. Then get an automated response that office is closed until 1.5.2023! Must be nice! I've never had a job with more than one day off!

Then was on the phone with my mom for an hour. Really sucks that she's the one I am able to talk to about whole situation with h. Unfortunate but is what it is.

Now I need to get to finding my way out. I have until 1.5.23 to be ready I guess. So maybe get more packing done while I wait for people to get back to it so I can find a trailer.

Sigh. Just why... why things happening the way they are.

Five years ago there was an abundance of trailers, the economy was good, & I could get the things I need to move.

Now, we're nearly in a recession, no trailers anywhere, & prices are sky high.

Heck, 5 years ago I could get a 1500sq ft house for $1,000mth rent!

Argh! I hate h.

So. I need advice.

Move out & pay h to not destroy my belongings until I can move them?

Do I have a better alternative?

I don't know.

So I am praying.

I hope & pray you . . . . . are having a good day.

The sun is shining. I am alive.

I love you . . . . .

I am blessed beyond measure.

That is what I am thankful for.

Blushing shyly bowing my head.

I am.

Yours . . . . .

I believe therefore I work & wait.

I trust in God.

I trust you . . . . .

~True love never dies & true love always waits.~

I will make it out.

This I vow.

God. Help me make the right steps, decisions, to make it out & rebuild my life. I pray to be worthy & deserving of the Blessings You bestow upon me.

I pray to be worthy of the priceless treasured Gift of my soul's mates..... my beloved Bears . Angels . . . . .

God I am in Your Hands.

Help me... please?????

Bowed humbly.

In Your Name Jesus. Amen.

Your humbled bowed listening carefully quietly closely daughter.

Your complex quirky warrior queen daughter.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. ✝️☸⚓🙇‍♀️🙏🤲🧠☔🌤🌂🔗⛓🧰📋🗓💸⚒🛠🧣🥾🍋🥤☕🥨🥓🍳🥩🏔⚙⚖🔐💡🗽🏗🧱🏰⚔🛡🦅🕊🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌳🌲🧶🧵🌡❄☃️🎅🎄🎁🎀💫🥧🥮🍯🍼☕🍫🍭🍌🌰🍎🍑🍒⌚⚡🌟🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🧭🕯

Fr.12.23.2022 12.16pm est.

Interruptions central! Ah!

[mtnkat3]

8.49am.

Good morning my loves..... my beloved Bears Angels . . . . .

Well I hope you . . . . . got some sleep!

Ugh. It was 43° at about 3am when I finally fell asleep. It was very windy, the power flickered, I was aching from my body. The fight just made usual worse. When I woke at 8.24a from twilight sleep.. yawn.. still half asleep. It was 18°!!! So when I was watching weather bug app last night I watched that swath of blue sweep across the country. But it might could've reached down here. But it was a psyche! Lol! Kinda pout though. I haven't had a white Christmas since I was a wee lil girl. I think it makes people think about Christmas magic. I certainly do. But right now... I just wanna crawl back into bed & snuggle close to your big earm bodys & feel all warm & cozy &.no more aches & pains & I wanna giggle in your ears & tickle beards & kiss chests & shoe how happy I am to be alive in loved by you . . . . .!!!!!

So. Now I gotta go feed the cat & such & work on getting my butt outta this hellhole. I am not living here, this is stagnant. Like a pond that needs to be seriously cleaned out of algae & such to breathe life back into it! I need that too!cause I am tired of feeling unloved, unwanted, devalued & like an old lady using a cane! Rather wack h up side the head with one or a cast iron frying pan! Giggling hysterically!

Ok! Up I go!

I love & adore you!!!!! You big beasts yummy maverick Bears Angels!!!!!

Yummy hugs & kisses!!!!!

I am!

Yours . . . . .

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. 🥶✝️☸⚓🙏🙇‍♀️🤲🌂🔗⛓🧰🧣🥾🦉🐐🐢🐛🌳🌲🧶🧵🌝⌚⚡🌟🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎅🎄🎁🎀💫🕯🧭💓💋

Fr.12.23.2022 9.06am est. Gifs. 9.15a

[mtnkat3]

This how you . . . . . feel?

Blushing sheepishly.

I pray....

My gosh, I so need. Maybe then my soul will calm down & stop tripping. Sigh.

I so pray so.... that you . . . . . Want to love... me.

You . . . . . Own my keys.

Even when...

Embarrassed.. scared.. kat.

But.

I trust you . . . . .

I love you . . . . .

I am.

Yours . . . . .

G'night & sweet dreams.

My beloved Bears . Angels . . . . .

Bowed.

About to go to bed.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. ✝️🌺🐾🐯☸

🤓👩👩‍🏫👩‍🎓🌥⚓🙇‍♀️🙏🤲🌂🔗

🧣🥾🏔🍋🥤🥨🥓🍳🥩

⛓🧰📋🗓⚙⚒🛠🔐⚖🗽🏗🧱🏰🛡⚔🦅🕊

🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌳🌲🧶🧵

🥧🥮🍯🍼☕🍫🍭🌰🍎🍑🍒

⌚⚡🌟🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾

🎅🎄🎁🎀💫🛌💤💋

🕯🧭🕯🧭🕯🧭🕯🧭🕯🧭

Th.12.22.2022 12.25am est.

[mtnkat3]

8.33am 8.52am

Good morning my loves..... I pray you..... are well & slept ok. Even when pieces are missing... I'm thinking about you . . . . . I miss you . . . . .

I'm really tired, like always. Cold & ache. Body, from physical labors, so good & bad. My soul's confused & aching, which I feel is a bad thing. Because I don't know how to feel right now. What's bothering you . . . . . But is it all my fault? Did God Create me so weird that even you..... my soul's mates.....my beloved Bears . Angels..... are having issues with loving ... wanting to.. me?blushing beet red bowing head chewing lips. See I have to say that's not true though. Because God encourages. Wants me to feel His Love thru you..... the adversary is the one that cackles at destruction, insecurities, making me feel like a freak. I AM WHO GOD CREATED ME TO BE. I love you . . . . . I will protect you . . . . . I will always want to see you happy . . . . . I will always want you . . . . . Heart, mind, body & soul. To love, adore, be devoted to, give all of myself to you . . . . .

But I also know that true love sacrifices. And if you . . . . . don't want me... then I must accept that fact. If someone else makes your . . . . . souls soar more than mine.. aching sob. Bowed.

I don't know... because I'm outta the loop. Yeah sometimes I might have a bratty moment. But mostly I'm feelin like a cranky pants, grumbling, growling Tijgeress cause I'm outta the dang loop! I want in the loop!!!!! Please!?!?!?!?!? Pout. There's my second.

I know .. ya'll are gonna push me to grow & learn like I never have before. I get that. Welcome it. But when I can't see all the pieces..... it really plays on my psyche & really makes me wanna ROAR!!!

I don't wanna be the cause of your..... hurt.. angst. strive.. . I wanna be the woman you . . . . . come to to rest from such. To find solace in. To know my soul wants to hold yours.....close & soothe all those aches & hurts..

I am trying.. striving.. working my butt to you . . . . . Every single moment of my days.

So I pray God Guides you . . . . .

To Guide & teach me.

Yes God Guides & Teaches me. But as a woman, I believe I'm to submit to my mates.....

I know you..... know what I mean.

I'm stopping here because I am full of trepidation right now

& I gotta get ready for my counseling appt @ 11am today.

Please?????

I need to know how you . . . . .are feeling.

I love you . I miss you . I crave you . . . . . .

I am & always have been..

Yours . . . . .

I believe & will never stop.

~True love never dies & true love always waits.~

Lord, Your confused, scared, frustrated, insecure but loving & listening closely carefully quietly daughter.

Your complex quirky warrior queen daughter.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. ✝️🌺🐾🐯☸⚓🤓😔😖🙇‍♀️🙏🤲☔🌂🔗⛓🧰🧣🥾🦉🐐🐢🐛🌱🌳🌲🧶🧵🏰⌚🚀⚡🌟🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎄🎁🎀🧭🧭🧭🧭🧭🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯

W.12.21.2022 9.25am est. Gifs 9.35a