#[[still trying to come up w new randomness for threads i owed but

[sbwesttt]

[sebspocketsquare]

Wishing you were here... 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (chatroom)

A/N: Hey guys! Today is my birthday! In celebration of that, here’s the third installment. I hope you enjoy it, and please let me know what you think. Part 4 will still be posted on monday (:

Warnings: language, flirting, pet names, feels, nerves, i think thats it?

masterlist

“Kitten?”

The baritone of his voice leaves you speechless, unable to force a single syllable to leave your lips.

“You with me?”

He speaks again, emotion laced in the words and you find yourself able to speak a name.

“Sarge?”

He sighs into the phone, though it sounds more like a pleasurable release than not.

“It is you. I.. I was beginning to think you wouldn’t call.”

You’re silent for a few beats before you respond.

“You.. you said you needed to speak with me.”

Another loud exhale comes from his end, followed by rustling that could only be the sound of him rolling on his mattress, repositioning before he begins to talk.

“I do.. I.. I needed you to know how incredibly, sincerely sorry I am. I was so.. so angry when I found out I’d be gone an additional three months, and doll, I swear to you, I tried to get them to let me message you - even just once, but it just wasn’t possible.. I..”

He pauses, taking in a breath to restore what he’d lost during his rushed explanation.

“I was so afraid that you’d never forgive me.. or worse, that I’d come back and you’d be gone completely, with no way for me to contact you because I’d never even thought to ask you for your goddamn name.. sweetheart, I.. I thought about you every fuckin’ day, every damn moment. I-I never stopped..”

You’re still at a loss for words, staring blankly at your keyboard as you listen intently to him speak. There was no denying the guilt and regret each sentence carried, just as there was no denying the effect it had on the pattern of your heartbeat.

“Even though every day was hell, it made me realize somethin’.. somethin’ I knew I had to tell you as soon as I got back. Whether you felt the same or not.”

He stops again, as if he’s waiting for you to ask what his grand realization was.

 “W-what’s that?” You finally manage to whisper, picking at a random thread in the hem of your robe.

“I need to see you.. to meet you. I-I’ve wanted to, for a long while now, but I was always too nervous, too terrified that once you saw me, really saw me, that you wouldn’t want to speak to me ever again, but.. somewhere along the way, that wanting turned into needing.. You’ve had a piece of my heart for so long, I think it’s finally time we revealed the faces of our ghosts, don’t you?”

His voice shook with uncertainty as he spoke the last few words.

You know he’s just as scared by the idea of meeting you as you are of meeting him. The idea of finally revealing the identity behind the username.

“Kitten, please..”

He’s on the verge of begging, and the way the pet name rolls off his tongue has you on the cusp of giving in.

“I-I don’t know.. It’s so close to the holidays, I’m sure transportation would be expensive..”

Every excuse in the book is racing through your mind, lining up one right after the other at the back of your throat.

His next words throw you for a spin.

“Let me fly you out here. To New York. First class. If you don’t feel comfortable staying with me, I can get you a hotel room. Please. Let me do this for you… for us. I.. I think we owe it to ourselves, don’t you?”

He’s literally taken any and all logical reasons for you to not go right out of the equation, and though part of you wants to squeal with joy, another part of you remains uncertain. There are still seeds of doubt planted in your mind.

“All I need is your name and birthdate to book the ticket. You could come next week, I’m looking at flights right now.”

The fear in his voice has transformed into excitement, the sound of his mouse clicking repeatedly is barely audible in the background of the call. 

You decide to voice your number one concern.

“What if I’m not what you’re expecting?”

The clicking on his end ceases and his voice regains an aura of confidence.

“I just want to meet the girl who’s stolen my heart over the last year. All I’m expecting is for us to be as honest and open with each other as we’ve been from the start. Please?”

A few moments of silence seem to stretch on for hours, before you finally let out a shaky sigh into the phone.

“I-Okay.. I’ll come. I can talk to my boss tomorrow. I don’t think he’ll give me more than a week vacation, though.”

He lets out an audible sigh of relief, followed by the first laugh you’d ever heard him release.

“You have no idea how happy you’ve made me, kitten. Ecstatic.”

A smile brings a glow to your entire face, prompting you to chew your lower lip to keep it from getting much bigger.

“I just need your name.”

Providing him with the proper information so he can book your flight takes no more than ten minutes, but that’s when the next dilemma arises. 

He clears his throat before he speaks.

“Now.. like I said before, you’re more than welcome to stay with me.. I live in a three bedroom apartment and I have a guest room that’s very comfortable.. I can also book you a hotel if you’d prefer.”

A war wages within your head, but you sit in silence. Wanting to get your mind completely made up before you speak.

“I.. I can stay with you. I trust you.”

Another small breath leaves him, and you try not to imagine what the smile that surely graced his lips looks like.

“I promise I will give you as much or as little space as you like. This is all in your control, okay?”

You nod, before realizing he can only hear you, not see you. 

“Okay.”

x

The next five days go by in a blur, and before you know it, it’s the night before you’re supposed to leave for New York. To meet Sarge. 

You’re packing away the last few articles of clothing you want to take on your week long trip, when your phone starts to buzz from its place on your nightstand. Sarge, the caller ID reads.

You answer with a shaky laugh, “Hello?”

“How ya feelin’, kitten?” You know the real question he’s trying to ask, but he doesn’t want to be rude.

Have you gotten cold feet yet?

Slowly zipping your suitcase shut, you respond in a much calmer voice than before, “I’m okay. A little nervous, but I just finished packing.. How are you? Change your mind?” 

You decide to tease at the question for him.

“I’d never. I’ve never been so sure of something in my life.”

You wish you had his confidence.

“It’s going to be fine, you know. I’m going to meet you at the baggage claim as soon as your flight lands. We’ll grab food if you’re hungry and then head back to the apartment so you can relax. Like I said, you’re in control of how all of this plays out.”

You’re sitting on the edge of your bed, arm crossed over your middle as you chew the inside of your cheek.

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours, doll?”

The affection in his voice makes you crack a smile. 

“It’s just.. everything will be different after tomorrow.. won’t it?”

He hums softly before he speaks, “Only difference’ll be that I’ll finally be able to put a face to your voice, and you’ll be able to put a face to mine. Think of it like.. the next step. I’m not gonna try to seduce you right away or anythin’ like that, not gonna do anythin’ you aren’t comfortable with. I just.. want to finally be near you. To see you.”

You will his words to soothe your fears, to convince you that everything really would be okay. It worked well enough to allow you to breathe without trembling.

 “You want me to call you to wake you?”

You laugh softly, moving your suitcase from your bed to a spot beside your bedroom door. 

“If you’d like. I can tell you what I’m wearing so you’ll be able to pick me out of a crowd.”

“Please tell me it’s a chicken costume.” He laughs, which prompts you to join in.

“No, no. I’m afraid not.. Black sundress. Red shoes. My luggage is red, too.”

“You like black and red, huh?”

“My favorite combination of colors.”

x

Waking up at 3am to make a 6am flight proved to be a lot more difficult than you anticipated, but Sarge called you at the exact same time your alarm went off, offering to stay on speakerphone while you got ready to keep you awake. 

“I’ve got to take a shower, Sarge, can I call you back in ten?”

A low rumble comes from his end of the call, a sound somewhere between a hum and a growl. “Of course you can, kitten. I’ll be waitin’ for ya.”

Showering and getting changed took a bit more time than you anticipated, especially when you decided to apply a light amount of makeup as well. Before you even get a chance to call back, he’s calling you.

“You worried me for a minute, had to make sure you didn’t fall asleep or change your mind, y’know..”

You laugh quietly, putting your purse over your shoulder and grabbing your suitcase as you make your way to the front door of the apartment. “I’m actually about to walk out my door now. My cab is waiting downstairs.”

He’s quiet for a few seconds, then his voice comes out in an almost-whisper. “It’s really, finally happening, isn’t it?”

Another laugh leaves you as you exit your apartment and lock the door behind you. “I’ll let you know when I get on the plane.. and I’ll be in New York in less than 7 hours.”

“I’ll see you soon, kitten.”

x

The flight to New York just so happens to go right through a storm, making it the bumpiest most nerve wracking  journey you’d been on, ever. By the time you land, your flight is 45 minutes behind schedule and you’re not sure if you want to puke due to the turbulence or anxiety. 

You exit the plane on shaky legs, following the signs through the airport, to eventually get you to baggage claim. 

You’d been too distracted to even fish your phone out of your purse, until you finally reach the baggage area and see that your cargo had yet to be unloaded thanks to the weather. 

Instead of getting out the device that might only cause you more heart palpitations, you decide to take a slow look at the people lingering nearby. There’s an elderly lady, staring at the announcement board as if she can make it change with her mind. There are a few couples clinging to each other, faces buried in necks and chests, fatigue evident in their eyes. There are a few stray men and women, eyes glued to their phones, but nobody stands out to you.

You see your luggage finally coming down the revolving belt and quickly move forward to grab it, but one of the wheels gets caught under the track. 

Teetering on the edge of panic, you open your mouth to ask someone, anyone, for help, but a presence behind you and a helping hand over your own stops your voice and heart in their tracks.

“Here, kitten. Let me help you.”

He tugs the large bag from the corral with ease, setting it down beside him. 

You’re practically in a daze and can’t seem to raise your eyes to meet his, gaze glued to the beat up doc martens that adorn his feet. 

Once his hands are free, they both move to slowly skim up your arms, before one rests on the small of your back and the other cradles your chin, tilting your face up to look at him.

“Hey. It’s just me.”

His breath washes over your face this time, and you blink several times before your attention finally focuses on the sight before you.

He’s beautiful. More beautiful than you could’ve ever imagined.

He’s got pillowy pink lips, hair the color of warm chestnut, and eyes the color of the clearest, bluest parts of the ocean. His hair is long enough to tuck behind his ears with a bit of a curl in the end, and his beard has been tamed into a nice shave. He’s smiling, and you can tell he’s taking in each one of your features, just as you’re taking in his.

You can’t help but feel he looks familiar, but your trance is broken when someone bumps into you from behind, sending you stumbling against his chest. If it weren’t for his hand on your back, you might have toppled over.

His gaze finally leaves your face and he scans the crowd around you, noting how it was only getting busier. “C’mon, kitten. Let’s get out of here.”

Without another word, he grips the handle of your suitcase with one hand and leads you towards the exit with the other, applying gentle pressure to the center of your spine. 

The walk to his car is completely silent, as if you’re both too afraid to break it. 

Once you’re in his car and out of the airport parking lot, he looks at you for a brief moment. 

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” He asks with a soft smile. 

You let out a breathless laugh that you didn’t realize you’d been holding in, nodding. “Just a little, I.. I guess I never expected you to be.. so..”

He cocks his eyebrow when you pause, a tiny frown on his face, as if he’s expecting you to say something bad. Warmth floods his cheeks at your next words. 

“So pretty.”

You’re just as embarrassed as he is once the thought leaves your mouth and you drop your gaze to your lap, cursing yourself in your head for being so forward.

“Well..” He hesitantly moves his hand across the center console, placing his fingers over yours where they lie in your lap. “You’re very pretty, too.. for the record.”

He gives your hand a little squeeze, which you return, flashing him a small smile, too.

TAGS: (sorry if you dont like being tagged, its been so long since i’ve posted idk who to tag anymore lolol. @mindingmyownbusiness @plumfondler  @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @loricameback @tinaferraldo @geminimoonbeamx  @preserumsteverogers @moderapoppins @lowkeysebby @buckyshattergirl  @jayattemptstoruletheworld   @the-observant-fangirl @moondancewrites @moonbeambucky @trinityjadec  @stevieang  @bionic-buckyb @eyecandybarnes @propertyofpoeandbucky @promarvelfangirl @ballyhoobarnes @bucky-plums-barnes @cate-lynne @witchymarvelspacecase @imaginingbucky @theimpossibleg1rl @babygurl8840 @wonderlandmind4 @buckysthing @formulafun @curvybihufflepuff @fanficsformarvelkillme  @shadyskit

[spaedia]

PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO READ.

alrighty dudes, dudettes, and everything in between. this is the last post i intend to ever make on tumblr, so listen up. in regards to the bullshit “callout” posted the other day:

CALLOUT, I GUESS, FOR DEVIL AND CO, BUT MOSTLY DEVIL BC LET’S FACE IT, WITHOUT THE SCREENSHOTS YOU PROVIDED, YOUR ARGUMENT FOR WHY WART IS A BAD PERSON IS “HE DAMAGED MY EGO OWO”. YOU SAID THIS WASN’T YOUR PROBLEM? WELL I’M MAKING IT YOUR PROBLEM, ASSHAT.

so let’s start w/ the screenshots in question. i haven’t read the callout, so idk what was used, but considering i had upwards of 5 people come to me and ask me if i was okay, i can take a guess. let the record show that all of the messages i sent to dev and norgie regarding wart was in the midst of our breakup, which was messy enough as is. when wart and i first broke up, i had dev and co blocked bc of personal reasons. devil then decided to HUNT DOWN ONE OF MY BLOGS and follow me (after i assume staking it out, bc he’s known for stalking people). i confronted him, and he gave me some shtick about how he’ll “always care about me” and i’m “still his little sister”, blah blah blah other manipulative bullcrap. against my better judgement, i let him back in.

wart was my first boyfriend. i adored him with everything i had, so naturally, this breakup left me in a bad emotional state. devil and norgie took COMPLETE ADVANTAGE OF THIS, and when i told them what happened between wart and i, immediately began twisting it to make wart out to be the bad guy. it was norgie who originally suggested that i had been emotionally abused, and in my vulnerable state, i began to see things that way. 

not that it’s anyone’s business, but if you wanna know how the breakup went, it was something like this: wart’s mental state was deteriorating, i suggested maybe we take a break, immediately went back on that statement, wart broke things off the next morning. there was no emotional abuse, no threatening of suicide, no physical violence - it was a breakup. things didn’t work out. it happens. but of course, this didn’t fit dev and co’s narrative, so they needed to get me to admit things were much worse than they were. when i later came to my senses and realized this was all bullshit, devil and norgie then decided to GUILT TRIP ME by pointing out how they spent “two hours” on call with me while i cried. after i had just had my heart broken. no shit i was upset. newsflash: wart spent a lot longer with me on call while i was breaking down. hell, he broke up with me and still let me cry on his shoulder. and unlike dev and norgie, he never once acted like i owed him, because that’s what friends do. but hey, go on and talk about how wart’s the abusive one.

devil has spent years abusing my trust. every time i tell him i don’t want so speak with him, he comes back awhile later with some new apology and reasoning for his behavior. and like most toxic relationships, it was hard to let him ago, especially after losing the person i cared most about. he blatantly took advantage of my situation to fuel his vendetta. the only reason i told him anything was because he promised me he wouldn’t make a post unless wart “stepped out of line” (which, looking back, is a huge red flag: what gives him the right to police other people?). and had i not begun to confront him about all the bullshit he made me say, he probably would have held off. in fact, he told me that one of the “main reasons” he felt this “needed to come out” was because i was starting to defend wart. when i realized that dev was serious about making this callout, i told him i wanted no part of it. he asked me for screenshots of some of my and wart’s conversations, to which i gave him a hard no. did that stop him from using our personal messages in his sorry excuse for a callout? of course not. these are the type of people who don’t care about anyone except themselves, dev has made that perfectly clear. MY PRIVACY AND AN INNOCENT MAN’S WELL BEING MEANT NOTHING TO HIM. all he and his friends cared about was spurring along their vendetta. and honestly, if i was wart, i would have sued y’all for harassment and defamation of character ages ago.

with the matter of those messages out of the way, let’s move on to dev’s actual claims. this is where the defamation gets real, because he had the nerve to call wart a predator. seriously? what, because he dated someone a few years younger than him?

dev loves to throw the word pedo.phile around, despite the fact that he obviously doesn’t know what it means. pedo.philia “is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children”. i started puberty when i was twelve, and wart and i didn’t even meet until i was fifteen. so immediately, he doesn’t fit the bill for a pedo.phile. #sorrynotsorry.

but let’s work around that. let’s say, that because he was romantically attracted to me, that automatically makes him a pedo.phile. i’m going to remind everyone of something devil would love to leave buried: the fact that, when i was thirteen, and again at fourteen, devil tried to coerce me into writing smut with him, along with a sixteen year old girl. he used my trust of him to assure me that it would be fine. his excuse? “my (ex)girlfriend made me do it.” cause that’s a solid argument alright. so fine, label wart a pedo.phile. i sure hope dev’s planning on giving himself the same label, because what he did is a lot worse lmao.

i don’t have screenshots from dev and my conversations, i think he deleted that account, but here’s him w/ the other girl.

so yeah long story short: dev knew this girl was underage, still tried to smut with her. take my word that he tried with me, i guess. i don’t think he’s ever denied it.

now, admittedly, i didn’t need to bring this up, but according to devil it’s important that predators get called out, so...he brought this on himself.

now i’m going to tell y’all the story of how wart and i started dating, because it really puts a hole in this “predator” story. see, for wart to be a predator, he would have had to target me in some way (come to think of it, much like devil did to me). when wart and i got together, dev and i weren’t talking, and i never got around to telling him how this happened, only that it did. (if i did tell him, i forgot about it, and that makes it even worse bc he knows this already lmao.) 

it was may sixth. i was fifteen, wart was nineteen. we had been talking for awhile, and sometime in the past week or so, i had talked to my mom about liking this guy who was older than me. she told me about her own relationships with older guys when she was my age, and that so long as he didn’t try anything, she was fine with it. so on that spring day, i confessed my feelings to wart. and y’know the first thing he said to me? “wait a few years.” a logical statement, one i probably should have taken to heart, but i was a fool in love, so i didn’t. i spent the next hour or so convincing wart to go out with me, and he eventually pitied me enough (he’d admit to something along those lines not long after) to agree. neither of us expected this to become an actual relationship, but hey, a year and a half’s not a bad run.

to make a long story short: i asked wart out, not the other way around. i begged him to date me, not the other way around. and this wasn’t some secret relationship. my parents knew from the beginning, and gave it the okay.

i think i addressed everything in that lameass “callout”, but because dev’s The Worst, i know he’s going to pull at threads to try and get his “predator” accusations to stick. i’m going to post this, and devil will immediately reply “but wait!! he is a predator: you said you two slept together!!” and then post the message where i said exactly that, added some details to make it realistic, whatever, but then fail to post the message a few days later where i told him IT WAS A HALF-BAKED STORY.

see, after wart and i broke up, i heard rumors that he and i had been sleeping together when he was up here. i’m gonna shoot those rumors down right now. a) i’m asexual and sex repulsed. i wouldn’t sleep with someone if they paid me. devil and norgie know this, but they chose to ignore it in favor of a juicy story. b) the story i gave them was incredibly inconsistent. to the point where even devil pointed out my inconsistencies, but then conveniently forgot that ever happened, then, when i told him it was bullshit, TRIED TO INSIST IT WAS TRUE. as if he knows better than i do what happened lmao. c) wart and i were never alone for more than a few minutes. my bedroom walls aren’t exactly soundproof. my bed frame is metal, it squeaks whenever i sit on it. so yeah, obviously we got away with having sex. dumbass.

now, when i heard these rumors, i decided to roll with them. what did i have to lose, right? so yeah, i spiced it up, gave devil and norgie some random details to make it realistic, and told them not to tell anyone (which as far as i know, they haven’t, so thanks for not spreading rumors i guess). when devil brought it up to me during his rant about how this callout “needed to happen”, i pretty much laughed in his face and told him it never happened. and then he tried insisting it did and i rolled my eyes so hard i think i gave myself a headache. 

tl;dr: someone started rumors that wart and i slept together, i confirmed them for shits and giggles, but no, it never happened, for all the reasons stated above.

oh, and as for dev’s reason for this vendetta? he’s told wart that it was because he (wart) wrote a character that dev wanted to write. i’m still convinced it’s over a fragile ego. either way, Real Mature, dude.

NOW i think i covered anything. phew, that’s a doozy. as i said, this is the last post i intend to ever make on this hellsite, but i encourage everyone who sees this to reblog it so that we can clear a (mostly) innocent man’s name. did wart hurt me? yes. was it enough to warrant this abuse?? not in the slightest.

my discord is still on my blog if anyone wants it (unless you’re friends with devil, norgie, kirby, or anyone else involved in this. if that’s the case, i’ll see you in hell). as for my legacy on this hellsite, let it be known that i tried to fight the good fight. i hope it’s good enough.

el psy kongroo.