#[ yes. the first line of this self para is basically the summary aslfjk ]

[fmdhyejuarchive]

summary: “have you ever considered what you’ll do if you never end up debuting?” date: sometime early 2012 location: bc entertainment training room word count: 617 words ooc note: fmdtask007 // trainee moment; hyeju hears that she's debuting 

"have you ever considered what you'll do if you never end up debuting?"

hyeju finishes taking a sip from the water bottle in her hand before looking at her fellow trainee. the question takes her by surprise, and she takes a seat on the floor, leaning her head against the wall. she's been living the same repetitive life for over three years now, and it's only now come to her that she's never even considered where this trainee life would take her.

did she want to debut? maybe. did she have to? not really. but then what would she do if she didn't get to debut? forever wait for her chance? what if it never comes? what if one day, they decide they want nothing to do with her anymore? what will happen to her then? a simple question thrown out by some junior high girl had a million questions popping into her head.

she had never considered it. hyeju couldn't even explain why she was here. because she passed her audition? that would explain the first couple of months, sure, but it definitely doesn't explain why she decided to stay. realistically, she likes the fact that she has a place to stay, that she has food to eat and something to do with her days when she's back from school. but does she like all this? all the dancing, the singing and twenty other things they have her learning? the answer isn't no, but it's definitely not a yes either.

sometimes she thinks back to her life back home. she thinks about what would have happened if she decided to stay. perhaps there would have been no harm in staying ━ it's not like her parents cared about her anyway. but then, she knows she wouldn't have been able to stand it. the dinner parties, the balls, the stupid getaways that they tried to disguise as family vacations. more than anything, she couldn't bare to stand in the same house that hyesung had suffered in.

so then what would she do if she never made a debut lineup? how long did she think that she could survive living this trainee life? she realizes how late her answer is, but she can't seem to come up with one, simple answer to it. right now, it's probably "i don't know", but that's not the answer that she wants to give. hyeju takes this question as an opportunity to think about it all.

maybe she'll go back home. her parents wouldn't bat an eye ━ she'd be surprised if they even realized she'd been gone all these years. they're good at pretending. they'll probably make up some story about having sent hyeju to her aunt in america, how she went to study for high school, and then they would go back to ignoring her, pretending like nothing had ever happened for three years.

but hyeju also knows that she doesn't want to go back. she's about ready to answer the younger female's question. something along the lines of 'i'll probably pack up my bags, go look for another job and hope that i can make monthly rent anywhere'. that's when one of the company directors walks in. on instinct, the two of them stand up and bow. when hyeju's back is straightened, he's standing right in front of her.

"min hyeju, right? congrats. you're debuting."

the other trainee is as surprised as she is, a loud gasp leaving her lips. hyeju's not sure if she should be offended or not, but that's not her main concern at the moment. she takes another sip of her water bottle before looking right over at the other girl.

"guess i'll never know."