#[ this is something i never really talk about BUT WHAT I'M SHARING HAPPENS TO BE SUPER PERSONAL ]

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

These are great ideas! I'd love to reflect/expand on them a bit.

It's not particularly glamorous work but I think a lot about my various community clean up programs over the years. It started as a prison abolition and community-sanitation project. See, where I grew up, "cleaning up trash outside" was a conviction sentence. In CA, a huge deal of essential services are performed by un-/under-paid detained people with no rights or safety protections. This meant that you would drive down the highway on the school field trip bus and see literal chain gangs being overseen by prison staff. It was upsetting to say the least.

Several people in the community decided to branch out in their more specific advocacy for prison abolition and seek to disrupt the ability of the state to force detainees to provide these services. There were a lot of ways they did this, depending on the service, but for this, they went the route of "at least we can make this a "prison job" with nothing to actually do". The hope was it would discourage continued reliance on these people in more dangerous clean up locations like highway on ramps so at least they could be less likely to be injured. I was young, as were the organizers, and i'm really not sure how meaningful we actually were in that, but nonetheless the clean ups were a HUGE success.

Something we noticed is that when the environment is more welcoming and comfortable, people are more likely to spend time in it TOGETHER in community with each other. This ALONE would have been worth it to us because it helped us recruit and empower new volunteers for future clean ups, it helped us direct people to aid resources and orgs we worked with, and it eased interpersonal tensions in the community for everyone to be in regular contact with each other. So ever since, my goals for community work have been as follows:

1) physically bring people together in shared space for An Activity

For me, this is usually a community clean up project, a meal, managing a community garden, or kids' programming. I find that when people are sharing space with purpose it can make it easier for everyone to give each other that unconditional regard that's essential to sharing space with love and respect

2) always be the first one to get your hands in the work

If you organized it, then you better be the first one getting your hands dirty before a single one of your guests. Facilitation is all about smoothing over barriers that may prevent others from acting on their own power. You are not there to teach, to do on behalf of, or to lead. You are simply there to perform the work, and in order to facilitate that performance, you have arranged and ensured the presence of others willing to do the same. If you boss people around, they will get annoyed and stop coming. If people feel overly confused and uncertain, the work won't get done and folks will stop coming. So do the work. Talk to others about why you're doing what you're doing as its happening so they can learn if they want, and be willing to answer questions or offer suggestions without pressing the issue.

3) always make sure people feel that you are excited to have them there, even if they only come for the photo ops, if they only come once a year, or if they only come to hang with their friends, the work is the point but the work goes beyond the tasks being performed. Never alienate a potential ally for their current level of readiness to act because this readiness is inherently changeable based on timing and circumstance.

Some of my gardest working volunteers over the years have been people who basically just showed up, ate the food, and listened to us talk for YEARS before actually doing anything.

But they LISTENED. If I had made them feel unwelcome because they weren't participating in the ways I wanted at the pace I wanted, they would never have spent the time with us to hear what we had to say. Facilitation means that the door never closes, no matter how long someone drags their feet about getting started, because you have to assume that they wouldn't still be gearing up if they weren't eventually going to get around to it.

So what am I doing right now?

The land we live on uses trees as plot markers. We've been starting up conversations with our neighbors to the tune of "hey, could we add some fruit trees to the line? You would of course be welcome to the fryit same as us!"

I'm using my garden as a pilot test bed for neighborhood hurricane resilience landscaping. We live in wetlands and flood horribly during hurricanes, which historically has devastated the neighborhood. We've been introducing storm gardens and restoring the creek with the goal of reducing the severity of storm and flood damage. Ideally as more neighbors agree to work with us, we'll be able to reduce the risk of the neighborhood pretty substantially!

Food fridges are a huge benefit to communities, especially those whose food pantries choose to or are required to means test their applicants. Food fridges are hugely effective at reducing childhood food insecurity, and at reducing the medical risks of food instability in a region. The nearest food fridge program to us is a 4hr round trip drive though. Longterm, we hope to have a community garden and multiple locations willing to host a "fridge" with food from that garden, but for now we're on the scale of a neighborhood.

I'm starting a mending and tailoring business! I've got some lovely little business cards with a website and QR code, and they're gonna go up all over town in the new year. People can call and ask for help repairing favorite or essential clothing items, and can make full new purchases from recycled fabric garments, etc. I used to do a stitch and bitch in person and for a hot minute I tried to do one virtually, but I think I might do something similar again here! Give people a Q&A space to come learn about sewing or mending or other aspects of the work while I deal with my orders.

The neighborhood trashcan is a classic. I've had one plenty of times and its always worth it. People are usually happy to throw trash where it goes! Assuming it HAS anywhere to go. So I buy those enclosed park bins from restaurant supply places online and park them on the sidewalk with a little sign that says to use it. Practically overnight the area gets prettier and cleaner.

I've stopped using pesticides, and while I can't control what my neighbors do, I can talk to them about what I'm doing and why. As my garden establishes and really comes together, I expect to get people asking after it. That's always an opening for me to share HOW my results are so good - functional planting blueprints based on forest layering, reducing the introduction of harmful materials and chemicals, increasing local bio-diversity through intentional planting and cultivation of volunteer seedlings, supporting the plants via inter-species and intra-genus environmental function planning, etc. I have a lovely, healthy looking "lawn" in the dead of winter while theirs are drowning in fozen mud sludge because I worked WITH my environment instead of against it, and if they like my results, well I would be delighted to show them how I did it. Historically, this has been pretty effective for me in getting people on board.

My local craigslist free section is a glorious place. I can find people giving away decades old stores of craft supplies, recycled wooden shipping pallets and fire wood, chickens for the flock or for butchering, furniture or clothes, practically anything you like as long as you can come haul it. Right now, I just make a day of things, rent a little uhaul truck, and snag what I want, but eventually I want to have my own little pull behind hauling trailer so I don't even have to do that.

Did you know that you can buy clothes from the thrift store, alter and repair them, and then give them BACK to the thrift store? Now, granted, your work DOES need to actually be able to sell back to gen.pop., so depending on skill and what you're doing, this may not be a good plan lol. But I like being able to give a lot of plus size clothes to the thrift shop since I know they cycle faster, and it's pretty easy to take damaged or slightly marred straight size clothes and upsize them. Once when I was in high school I briefly had a deal with the local thrift shop that any donation clothes they received that could not be put on the shelves, I could have as long as I turned at least some of them into new garments they COULD sell. Got me a steady supply of recycled fabric I didn't have to pay for, got them an atypical garment supply source they could use to round out their stock. Another option for this is finding someone who sells fabric scrap by weight. There's a few shops I use that will send you 10lbs of fabric scrap for the cost of shipping, and that's a great way of getting inexpensive fabric stores for whatever I like.

Anyway, best of luck to anyone figuring out what they have room to do or room to facilitate in their lives. I believe in yall

How to begin a sustainable way of life

This is a draft of something I've been writing for a couple months. It is mainly focused on the culture of the USA. Feel free to repost or otherwise share, with or without credit.

Do not tell people what to do—help them do it! 

Give the gift of relief from being forced to engage in society’s unsustainable ways of life. 

“People need to eat more plant-based foods.” ->Talk about your favorite recipes, give others recipes, cook for them, and grow vegetables and plants in your garden and give them away as gifts. 

“People need to repair their clothes.” -> Offer to repair others’ clothes, and teach people how to repair their clothes. 

“People need to buy less clothes.” -> Give them old clothes that you don’t want, help them repair their clothes

“People need to buy less plastic stuff.” -> Learn to make things that can serve the same purpose, such as baskets, and give them as gifts. Let people borrow things you own so they don’t have to buy their own. 

“People need to stop using leafblowers and other gas-guzzling machinery.” -> Offer to rake the leaves. You can use them as compost in your own garden. 

“People need to be more educated about nature.”-> Learn about nature yourself. Tell people about nature. Be open about your love of creatures such as snakes, spiders, and frogs. Do not show awareness that this could be strange. You are not obligated to quiet down your enthusiasm for creepy crawlies to demonstrate awareness that it is weird. Point out at every opportunity how these animals are beneficial. 

“People need to use cars less.” -> Offer rides to others whenever you must go somewhere. Whenever you are about to go to the store, ask your neighbor or your friend who lives along the way, “Is there anything you need from the store?” 

You cannot control others’ behaviors, but you can free them from being controlled. 

If you think to yourself, “But this would be so difficult to do!” ask yourself WHY? Why does your society coerce you into less sustainable ways of living, forcing you to consume excessively? After thinking about this, consider that it is less simple and easy than you thought to make more sustainable choices, so why would you judge others for not doing it? 

Do not act alone—act with others! 

Environmentally friendly behaviors that can be done alone, without collaborating with or consulting another person, are the least powerful of all. Whenever an “environmentally friendly” behavior is suggested, figure out “How can I give this as a gift?” or “How can I make this possible on the level of a whole community?” 

“Personal choices” do not work because every single person has to make them individually. If you are focused on making your own personal choice, you are not focused on others. If you are not focused on others, you are not helping them. If nobody is helping each other, most people won’t be able to make the “personal choice.”

You inherently share an ecosystem with your neighbors  

            Start with your neighbors, the people physically close to you. You live on the same patch of land, containing roots from the same plants and trees. You can speak to them face to face without traveling, which means you can easily bring them physical things without using resources to travel. 

            Always talk to your neighbors and be friendly with them. Offer them favors unprompted and tell them about how your garden is doing. Do not be afraid to be annoying—a slightly annoying neighbor who is helpful, kind, and can be relied upon for a variety of favors or in times of need is a necessary and inevitable part of a good community. If you make the effort to be present in somebody’s life, they will have to put up with you on some occasions, but that is just life. We cannot rely on each other if we do not put up with each other. 

Simply spending time with someone influences them for good 

Every hour you spend outside with your neighbor is an hour your neighbor doesn’t spend watching Fox News. Every hour you spend talking with someone and interacting with them in the real world, eating real food and enjoying your real surroundings, is an hour you don’t spend only hearing a curated picture of what reality is like from social media. 

            Isolation makes it easy for people to become indoctrinated into extremist beliefs. When someone spends more time alone, watching TV, Youtube, or scrolling social media, than they do with others, their concept of what other people are like and what the world is like comes more from social media than real life. TV and online media are meant to influence you in a specific way. Simply restricting the access these influences have to yourself and others is helpful. 

A garden is the source of many gifts 

If you grow a garden, you can give your neighbors and friends the gift of food, plants, and crafted objects. This is one of the foundational ways to form community. When you give food, you provide support to others. When you give plants, you are encouraging and teaching about gardening. It is even better when you give recipes cooked from things you grew, or items crafted from things you grew. You can also give the gift of knowledge of how to grow these plants, cook these recipes, or craft these objects. 

More on gift-giving

            Some people are uncomfortable with receiving items or services as gifts. They want to feel like they are giving something back, instead of having obligation to return the favor hanging over them. 

            It can help to ask a simple favor that can be easily fulfilled. People generally like the feeling of helping someone else. 

When you give someone a gift, it can help to say something like “Oh, I have too many of this thing to take care of/store/eat myself! Do you think you could take some?” This makes your neighbor feel like they are helping you. 

When allowing others to borrow items, you might not get them back. Don’t worry about that. It just means the item found a place where it was needed the most. You can ask about the item if you think it might have been forgotten, and this can create an opportunity for a second meeting. But don’t press. 

If the person you give to insists upon some form of payment, this is a good opportunity to negotiate a trade. 

Ask to be given compostable or recyclable things 

Ask your neighbor to save compostable scraps, biodegradable cardboard and paper products, and any other items that might be put to use. Use them in your own compost pile. Or, start a compost pile at the edge of the yard where you both can add to it. Remember that “wet” compost like vegetable and fruit bits needs to be mixed with twice as much of “dry” and “woody” compost like cardboard, leaves, small twigs, paper and wood bits. 

Use the front yard for gardening

Overcome the cultural norm that the front yard is only decorative. Use the front yard for gardening so you can be seen by others enjoying your garden, and others can witness the demonstration of the possibilities of land. In the front yard, anything you do intentionally with your land can be witnessed. It also makes you a visible presence in your community. 

Grow staple foods 

Don’t just grow vegetables that cannot be the core component of a meal themselves. Grow potatoes, dry beans, black eyed peas and other nourishing, calorie-dense foods. Grow the ingredients of meals. You could even build a garden around a recipe.

Invite neighbors and friends over to eat food made from things you grew 

Be sure to send them home with leftovers.  

Grow plants for baskets 

Containers are one of the fundamental human needs. If we had more containers, we wouldn’t need plastic so much. You can learn to make baskets, and to grow plants that provide the raw materials for baskets. 

If someone rakes their leaves, ask to have the leaves  

If you see someone putting leaves in bags, don’t be afraid to ask if you can have the leaves. More likely than not they will be happy to agree. 

Collaborate with neighbors to plant things in the no-man’s-land of the property line 

In the border land between your neighbor’s yard and your yard, it is almost always just mowed grass because no one can plant anything without it affecting their neighbor. But these border lands add up to a lot of space. It would be much better if you talked to your neighbor about what would be nice to plant there, and together created a plan for that space. 

Give others the freedom to wander 

Make it clear that you will not get mad if the neighbor’s kids play in your yard or run across it. Invite the neighbors onto your land as much as possible. Tell them they are allowed to spend time in a favored spot whenever they would like.  

The power of the hand-made sign 

If there is a yard sale, you always know about it because of the hand-drawn signs placed around. Therefore, a cookout or unwanted item exchange can be announced the same way. In rural areas I have seen hand-made signs that say: FIREWOOD or WE BUY GOATS or EGGS. This is one of the few technologies of community that remain in the USA. If someone who looks to buy and sell can put up a hand-made sign, why shouldn’t you?  

Religious people or people with strong political opinions like to put signs everywhere. If they have the confidence and courage to do so, why shouldn’t you? 

So if there is a message you would like everyone to see, use the simple power of the hand-made sign. Proclaim “BEE FRIENDLY ZONE!” above your pollinator garden with all the confidence of a religious fundamentalist billboard. Announce to the world, “VEGETABLES FREE TO ALL—JUST ASK!” “WE TAKE LEAVES—NO PESTICIDES.” Instead of YARD SALE, or perhaps in conjunction with YARD SALE, you can write, PLANT EXCHANGE or SEED SWAP or CLOTHING SWAP. Who can stop you? 

Someone has to do it for society to change  

Some of these ideas might be eccentric, strange, or even socially unacceptable, but there is no way to change what is normal except to move against it. Someone has to be weird. It might as well be you. 

[thebestsetter]

-> Part 1

-> Pairings: Otoya x reader (romantic) , Karasu x reader (platonic)

-> Synopsis: Otoya regrets being a cheater. But how will he tell you that, when he can't even get near you?

-> A/N: I finally, FINALLY finished this. Locked in, guys. Please, someone congratulate me. I need sleep. Not proofread, sorry.

For the first time in a while, Otoya doesn't know what to do.

He's never been insecure about the choices he makes. Actually, scratch that: he's the most uncaring and reckless guy ever, and he just wants to enjoy life to the fullest without really caring for his actions and what they can bring upon him in the future.

God, how he wishes he wasn't like that.

Because right now, all he wants to do is study for 10 years or something, build a time machine, go back to the past and beat his past self up. Like, hard. Until younger him has a bloody nose and a black eye.

Maybe this little "fight" could make past Otoya think twice before cheating on the first girl he got in a serious relationship with. Maybe he wouldn't be known as a womanizer. Maybe he could've had a chance with you then.

Maybe if he did that, he wouldn't be in Karasu's bedroom right now, scattering his brain for the past 2 hours for a way to make you forgive him.

"Don't you have any prophecies for me this time?" Otoya mindlessly asked, tearing tiny pieces of Karasu's math homeword, crumpling them and throwing them at his friend

"What do ya mean? I'm not an oracle" Karasu answered, just wanting this all to be over with (he couldn't handle Otoya going on about you anymore)

"You might as well be" Otoya sighed, grabbing another piece of paper and crumpling it "You've cursed me before. Can't you bless me this once?"

"Well, the things I say ain't gonna change the past. Nothing's going to. What you can do is fix the future"

"Wow. You're actually like a prophet or something." Otoya rolled his eyes, aiming at the top of his friend's hair "I've never thought about that! Wow! You're incredible, prophet Karasu!" He mocked him, muttering a small "Yes!" when the pieces of paper perfectly landed on Tabito's hair

"Haha. Very funny" Karasu glared at his friend, shaking his head to get rid of the paper. Then, he sighed "No, but seriously. Ya need to fix this. I am not going to be your love guru anymore"

"Love guru? You're not even doing anything to help me!" Otoya scoffed, then sighed as he realized he tore all the homework "And if you're so 'tired of me' like you said, just help me solve this situation! Help me find a way to talk to her, cause I'm seriously going insane!"

"I can see that" Karasu smirked, crossing his arms. Then just as soon as he smirked, he stopped. His serious face making it seem like the smirk was it was never even there "Have you tried talking to her, already?"

"Of course I did!" Otoya rolled his eyes, getting up from Karasu's gaming chair and beggining to pace around the room "But I can't! She doesn't let me" He sighed, finally sitting on the floor, right in front of Tabito "She doesn't let me get into her house. And her parents probably know about what's happening too, cause they won't let me in. When she has to go out, she checks if I'm there, and only when she's sure I'm not does she get out. At school, everytime she sees me, she walks the other way. She doesn't sit next to me in any classes, and the only classes we share together are history and advanced chemistry, which we share with you so you know she doesn't even look my way" he crossed his arms, pouting and looking to the side, as if he was ashamed of what he was about to say "It also doesn't help that I've cheated on or flirted with almost all of her girl friends. So they hate me, and won't let me get close to her cause they say I would 'Hurt her' or something"

"Well, would you?" Karasu arched a brow "Hurt and cheat on her, I mean"

"What?" Otoya looked at him incredously, frown deepening as if Karasu said he hated his mom or something "Of course not! I like her dude. Like, like-like her. A lot more than the other girls I got into a relationship with. She's nicer, prettier, smarter, funnier, more caring, more-"

"Alright, alright, I get it" Karasu smirked again "You're head over heels. Well, loverboy, why don't you try talking to her again tomorrow during chemistry? If it doesn't work out, we can try to find another way, 'right?"

"Sure" Otoya sighed, getting up "I don't think it's gonna work, but it's worth the shot"

"Now, let's go eat something to take your mind out of this for a while. My mom prepared cookies" Karasu also got up, patting Otoya's back and putting his arm around his shoulders

"Sure, all this thinking made me hungry anyways" he then looked at the ground, like he was lost in thought. He then suddenly lifted his head, and Karasu could almost see a light bulb lighting up rjght above it "Hey, you think if I made (Name) cookies, it would be easier for her to forgive me?"

"Bro, shut up"

The advanced chemistry class would start in 5 minutes, and you were nowhere to be found.

Otoya was actually nervous, though he seemed laid-back with his arms behind his head and his feet on the table.

"What if she moved classes just to be further from me?" Otoya asked Karasu, his seat partner, while nervously looking at the door "What if she moved schools?"

"Dude, stop" Karasu rolled his eyes "She's probably just running late. You more than anyone know how she's a little clumsy and likes to sleep in"

"Yeah" Otoya smiled a little "I always thought it was cute when I went to her house and she was still sleeping"

"Don't even start rambling about 'how cute she is' again. I'll actually kill myself if you do"

Just as Karasu said that, the girl Otoya was waiting for entered the classroom, looking distraught and breathing heavily. 'She probably ran all the way here' Eita thought, which made his smile stretch up a little

In a sudden moviment, Otoya removed his feet from the table, not wanting to look like a "delinquent" in front of you. He slid his hands through his hair, smelled his breath, making sure it was at least bearable, and removed some cookie crumbs from his uniform.

Just as he was about to get up and approach you, the teacher entered the classroom, shouting about some activity in page 34.

"Shit" Otoya muttered, putting his head in his hands

"It's okay, man. There's always the end of the class" Karasu patted Eita's shoulder

"Yeah. I guess you're right" Otoya sighed, grabbing his book just as the teacher asked

He couldn't care less for the class, honestly. The 1 hour period looked like it took a century to end. The clock on top of the board looked like it was staring at him, seemingly laughing and slowing tine down.

He moved his knees up and down, axiety radiating off of him in waves.

'What the heck is happening to me?' He asked himself, doodling a girl that strangely lookes like you on the side of the paper. When he realized what he did, he quickly erased it, face heating up 'I've never acted like this! Just what is she doing to me? And how to win her back...'

"Otoya" Karasu snapped him out of his thoughts, pointing to the white board. They sat near the back of the classroom, so Otoya had to squint his eyes to read what was written on the board.

There, in the chemistry teacher's ugly hand writing, he read:

CHEMISTRY PROJECT

1 WEEK TO FINISH IT

60% OF THE GRADE

"So, as I was saying" the teacher started "This is a project about Lavoisier's laws. And before you ask, it is not individual. It's gonna be in duos..."

"We should do it together" Karasu muttered as the whole class began whispering "Unless you wanna do it with her"

"As if she would let me" Otoya muttered back "But I'd like to. I'll try to talk to her"

"...and I choose the duos. No switching partners, either" the teacher ended, and the bastard looked like he was holding back a smirk

A roar of disappointed whispers could be heard from the class, including from Karasu, but Otoya was not sad in the slightest.

This was perfect. If the teacher put you both together, you couldn't complain. You couldn't switch partners. He's just gonna need a bit of luck on his side.

"I'm gonna start saying the duos now" the teacher said, grabbing a paper "Yuko and Hitoka"

He began praying. Begging for you to be his partner.

"Yumeko and Tobio"

'C'mon' he thought 'C'mon, c'mon, c'mon"

His leg was shaking. He was sweating.

"Kyoko and Tanaka"

This was it. You two were gonna be together, and you'd finally realize how he regrets his past actions.

Finally, a little bit of luck on his life. Finally, a little push. He was the world's luckiest man. He was literally the world's...

"(Name) and Karasu"

Unluckiest man.

"Ouch. I'm sorry, dude" Karasu said, with a frown.

"...what are you sorry for?" Otoya answered, snapping out of his daydream "It isn't your fault, don't worry about it. I'll just have to accept it. I'll never get her."

"Don't say that." Karasu's frown got deeper "We're gonna work something out. I promise"

Otoya sighed, and then smiled a little

"Thank you, bro. I don't even know how to pay you back for what you're doing"

"I know" Karasu said, his typical smirk appearing on his face again "A couple hundreds on my bank account would be nice"

"Dude." Otoya deadpanned, but laughed a little

On the other side of the classroom, you were relieved and panicked at the same time

Sure, you were hoping you wouldn't be partnered up with Otoya, so you were relieved. But get partnered up with his best friend? That wasn't really ideal.

Karasu was a good person, had helped you more than once and was a chemistry genius, so you were sure the project would go by smoothly and you'd get a good grade.

Still, you couldn't help but be a little bit nervous. You tried to tell yourself that it was because of the whole grade thing, but you knew it wasn't.

You heart knew. You were scared Otoya would do something. And you were even more afraid, because you knew that, if he did something, you'd most likely forgive him.

And that thought frightened you.

Whatever. You just had to put on your big girl's pants and do it.

It was easier said than done, though, when Karasu walked up to you, wanting your phone number to discuss project stuff, and Otoya trailed behind him, trying hard to talk to you and grab your attention.

It was easier said than done when, the moment you gave Karasu your number, Otoya frowned a little, clearly trying not to seem affected by it, but not enjoying it one bit.

Man this, was gonna be hard.

"Make yourself at home" Karasu said, turning on the lights of his room.

You made it clear you felt comfortable doing the work in his room, since most books and chemistry stuff were already here and you didn't want to be a burden. Still, he insisted on leaving the door open, though, just to make sure, which honestly made you more relieved.

He seemed nicer than Otoya. Taller. A little buffer, too.

So why couldn't you have fallen for him? Why did your heart earn for a cheater?

"Thank you" you answered, trying to shake your thoughts away. You were here to do the chemistry project, not to think about boys.

It was hard maintaining that philosophy when everywhere you looked, you could see photos of him and Otoya. When you saw Otoya's jacket lying around, knowing he was there before. When you saw his stupid plastic shuriken, which she he used to try to impress you one time but ended up throwing it at the old lady who lived in the house right beside your's face.

"Let's start the project, shall we?" Karasu said, smiling nervously. He noticed you were looking at Otoya's things, and he didn't want to make you uncomfortable, so he tried to take your mind off of it. The last thing he needed was you thinking that he and Otoya had planned to do something while you were here. You were for sure going to hate Eita even more"

"S-sure" you flinched, hating how you stuttered and how squicky you voice came out "I mean, sure. Let's start"

Safe to say, the project went by just fine. You finished it in no time, and in 2 hours, you were both just sitting on his floor, eating blue cookies his mother made and gossiping about some school girl who apparently hooked up with a teacher.

"Man, you're cool" Karasu smiled at you, and suddenly had an idea. He mentally apologized to both you and Otoya, but this was the only way to help his friend "No wonder Otoya talks about you all of the time"

He then faked a surprised reaction, even covering his mouth with his hand and muttering "Oops"

"He... talks about me?" You repeated, trying to make sense of what he said

"All of the time" Karasu said "He talks about how nice, pretty and funny you are. I honestly can't take it anymore"

An uncomfortable silence settled in the room, and just as he was about to take what he said back, you muttered

"You're not..." you hesitated "You're not lying, are you?"

"What? No, I'm not" He said "He really likes you, you know. He even stopped going out with every girl he sees. He changed. For you"

You doubted it. Your brain told you to doubt his words, to just ignore what he said. He was probably just helping his friend, who wanted to get laid or something. Your brain told you that.

But your heart was foolish. It was dumb. And so, you couldn't help but feel flattered to hear that. You wanted to believe him.

"Excuse me" you said, suddenly getting up "I need to go to the bathroom." You needed to clear your thoughts

"Oh, sure" Karasu answered, pointing at a door that was right beside you "Right there. My room's a suite" you nodded, and began walking away "I'm sorry if I said something wrong"

"You're fine" and with that, you entered the bathroom

Karasu thought that was it. That he completely ruined his friend's chances with you, and you'd both hate him forever.

Keyword: thought. Otoya would never stop surprising him.

That's why, when Otoya entered his room running, Karasu couldn't help but let out a strained yelp

"What are you doing here?" Karasu growled, looking at his friend

"She's not here, right?" Otoya asked, looking around the room "Please tell me she's not here"

You were not dumb. Neither were you deaf. You were listening. Karasu knew you were listening.

"No." Karasu answered "No, she's not"

Now, Otoya's fate rested on his hands. He couldn't screw this up. He needed to talk about you, say what he truly thought.

Honestly, it wasn't really hard. He seemed to love talking about you

"I think I'm giving up, Tabito" Karasu knew Otoya was being serious when he called him by his first name

"Giving up on what, exactly?" Karasu said. He knew what it was, of course. It was you who needed to know it, too.

"On my dream to be a dinosaur nanny" Otoya glared at him "Of course I'm talking about (Name)!"

"But I thought you liked her?" Karasu crossed his arms, getting closer to the bathroom so you could hear the conversation easier

"I do!" Otoya shouted, and Karasu could hear your quiet gasp on the other side of the door, he just hoped Otoya couldn't hear it too "God, I like her so much. I want nothing more than to hold her hand, go on idiotic picnics with her, go skating together, gaze at the stars by her side again" Otoya passed his hand through his hair, frustrated "Do you have any idea how down bad I am? I'm listening nonstop to our shared playlist and all. I just want to at least talk to her, man!"

"And why don't you tell her that?" Karasu said, knocking quietly on the door of the bathroom. He hoped you got the memo

"Because she won't talk to me?" Otoya said in a suspecting voice "Dude, you know that. You're acting strange"

"I don't think you should worry about telling her that anymore" Karasu heard the door unlocking. He smirked, then stepped aside. "I think she already heard it"

"How do you..." Otoya started, but stopped when the door opened and he saw you "Oh."

"...hi" you muttered, averting his gaze

He was sure he was burning up, reder than a tomato, and his brain screamed for him to go dig a hole and bury himself. But he knew he couldn't.

He was gonna fix this. Right now.

"(Name)" he said, looking right at you "We need to talk"

"I'm gonna give you privacity" Karasu said, exiting the room

For a while, you both just stared at each other, uncomfortable. The tension in the room could be sliced with a knife, and you both seemed to forget how to speak.

"I'm sorry" you broke the silence, looking down "I should've given you a chance to explain yourself. It was immature of me and..."

"You're sorry?" Otoya asked, dumbfounded "No, no. You don't get to be sorry. I'm sorry." He said, getting closer "This is my fault. I shouldn't have cheated on other girls. And I couldn't hate myself more for it. You have every right to be mad at me" he hesitantly grabbed your hands, and you let him "But just know I've changed. I've changed because I like you. Really, really like you. You heard me saying it. It hurts me to see you ignoring me. It physically pains me to see you glare at me or walk the other way when you see me. It makes me hate myself. It makes me wish I could just go back in the past and beat past me up" you giggled a little, and he finally smiled softly "But a wise friend once said that we can't change the past. Nothing can. What we can do is fix the future. And, frankly, (Name), when I look into my future" he gently grabbed your chin, making you look at him "the only thing I can clearly see is you in it."

"Eita" You were sure you were tearing up at this point. Chemistry project long forgotten "I like you, too." You smiled, cupping his cheek "I've liked ever since I first saw you. I'll always like you. But I was scared. Scared that you'd break my heart. Scared that you'd hurt me" you sniffled "Everyone said I made a great choice by letting you go. But if it's the right choice, why does it feel so wrong?"

"(Name)" Otoya muttered "I love you"

"I love you too, Eita" you smiled, leaning in

When your lips were about to touch, you leaned back a little

"Promise not to hurt me?"

He looked at your eyes, and this time you knew exactly what he was thinking. His mind was full with his love for you

"Only a fool would hurt a girl like you"

You then closed the distance, ignoring Karasu's cheers and how the kiss tasted like salty tears.

Nothing mattered anymore. Only you two.

This relationship was going to work. Otoya would do everything in his power to make sure of it.

[hard-core-super-star]

i'll be home for christmas [K.Bishop]

pairing: top!kate bishop x bottom!reader

summary: even though you wake up alone on christmas day, kate finds a way to make it up to you the only way she knows how.

warnings: SMUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT -> kate is technically the top but also very needy; very brief daddy kink; vibrator use; some grinding; fingering {R receiving}; lots of praise; went crazy with the dirty talk, my bad; slight overstimulation; AFTERCARE; NOT proofread 😅

wordcount: 2.4k

a/n: would it really be a rubix fic if it wasn’t posted far later than originally planned? the answer is, sadly, no. christmas time always reminds me of kate so of course, i had to write a little something before the year ended. this fic does technically take place on christmas but shhh, i’m only…five days late 😭 anyway, I already have my first fic of the new year planned out and i can’t wait to share it with you all. i don’t want to get too sappy here but, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for all the support this year. you have no idea how much it means to me. anyway, hope you enjoy <3

* * * * * * *

As much as you loved Kate's unrelenting devotion to her job, you absolutely hated how consistently she had to leave you. Especially during the holidays.

Sure, it wasn't the end of the world, you could survive a few weeks without the archer, but it didn't mean it wasn't difficult. Although maybe that was your fault for watching so many silly romcoms. In your defense, Yelena had never seen most of them, and you couldn't pass up the opportunity to watch her completely berate the stupid men in said movies.

Spending time with the Russian was entertaining, especially when she took you to the Rockefeller Center just to tell you how dumb your girlfriend was when they fought there, but it wasn't what you were craving. The freezing days and loud streets only served to make you miss Kate more than you thought possible. It wasn't even about the holiday, not really, it was simply about how much you hated being without her.

You understood why she preferred being away for most of December, though. Christmas and the weeks leading up to it hasn't been the same since her mom went to jail. What happened wasn't her fault, but that didn't stop her from feeling guilty. As difficult as it was, all you could do was let her work through things on her own. It wasn't your place to tell her how to feel about the situation.

That being said, it still sucked to wake up alone on Christmas morning. Kate was supposed to fly in before the 25th, but the mission got complicated, and she had to stay a few extra days. She'd gone silent after letting you know she'd have to stay a few extra days so you had no way of knowing when she'd be back.

So, even though it felt incredibly depressing, you made your peace with spending the day by yourself, lounging around in your girlfriend's clothes, eating junk food and watching silly movies.

It wasn't until the sun had started to set on what had been a pretty lonely day that you heard the sound of the front door opening.

In an instant, you jumped up quicker than Lucky, barely concealing your excitement as you rushed to the front door.

Standing there, looking exhausted yet handsome as ever, was your favorite archer.

"Kate!" You run right into her, causing her to drop her bags in order to wrap her arms around you. "You're back!"

The sound of her warm chuckle fills your ears as she picks you up. "I couldn't leave my favorite girl without her present."

You wrap your legs around her waist, even though she's more than capable of using her strength to carry you. "I thought it was the other way around."

"Oh, I'm not your present, baby," she says. "I got you something."

Her words shouldn't be surprising, considering how much she loves spoiling you and yet you find yourself gasping. "When did you even have time for that?"

Your reaction is exactly what she's looking for and you feel her smile against your skin as she presses a string of kisses to your temple. "A lady never tells."

"You're such a dork," you mutter, leaning forward to bury your face in her neck. It's mainly to hide your embarrassment, even after all this time you haven't gotten used to receiving so many gifts from her. It's also an excuse to be close to her. There's no denying how needy you are for her affection.

"I'm your dork, though."

Despite her words, nothing about her attitude screams dork right now. Sure, she's always a little dorky, but there's a particular fire in her gaze that you instantly recognize. One that makes your stomach fill with butterflies.

Without a word, Kate carries you to your shared bedroom, her hands roaming up and down your back and sending sparks of excitement wherever she touches. Her intentions are more than clear, but you pretend not to notice, instead indulging in the warmth of her embrace.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked what your present is, princess," she teases before sinking down onto the bed with you in her lap. "Do you not want to know?"

"I'm kind of busy," you reply with a teasing tone of your own.

The archer huffs, but before she can complain too much, you're attaching yourself to her skin. Her huff turns into a groan as you attack her neck with kisses and soft bites.

One of her hands drifts up to tangle in your hair, holding you against her while you continue your ministrations. "Someone's a little eager for some time with me, huh?" 

You know she's simply being a tease because she can, but she's just as desperate to be with you. Maybe even more, considering the way her hips can't seem to stay still. You can't lie, though, you love watching her slip into a more dominant personal, even if you both know she's way needier than you most days.

You're fine with pretending for the night. It'll be your Christmas gift for her.

"You've been gone for weeks, can you blame me?" You ask, a pout pulling at your lips.

The second she feels you pout against her neck, she tightens her grip on your hair and pulls your head back. You barely manage to suppress a whimper at the feeling. "No, I can't. I've left my good girl needy for far too long, haven't I?"

Even though you secretly crave her dominance, you can't stop yourself from pushing her buttons a little bit. It's far too fun.

"Are you gonna make it up to me..." You trail off with a rapidly growing smirk. "Daddy?"

"Fuck," she groans, her grip tightening on you for a few seconds. "You're the worst, y'know that?"

You shrug. "I thought I was your good girl."

"Good girls are patient, baby," she reminds you as her hands make their way to your waist once more. She gives you a teasing squeeze, her hips subtly grinding up against you. "And that's not you, is it?"

"You're one to talk," you reply with a scoff. "I can feel you trying to hump me."

The noise she makes this time is closer to a whine than anything else. There's something about the push and pull you have going on that drives you absolutely wild. As much as you want her to simply drop you onto the mattress and rail you until you're sobbing, you love this side of her. The one that so desperately wants to please you in any way you want.

"Oh, shut up. Just let me be in control...pretty please?"

Teasing her is tempting, but you're far too needy by now to keep the nonchalant act up.

"You're always in control..." You trail off, going right back to peppering kisses across her jaw. "...Daddy."

"That's what I like to hear, princess...do you want your present now?"

All you do is nod and before you know it, you're wrapped up in one of Kate's "brilliant" ideas. And wrapped up is a very literal way to put it.

 The real present, you quickly find out, is the set of purple lingerie now hugging your body. Her present, though, is tying you up with matching rope, pretending like the knots she makes are cute little ribbons. To top everything off, she pulls out your favorite vibrator, wordlessly turning it on and slipping it under the waistband of your new, lacy panties.

"You look so pretty like this, angel," Kate says, her eyes practically shining with glee as she watches you squirm for her. "My pretty little princess all tied up and perfect for me."

"Kate," you moan, your back arching almost subconsciously.

If she notices your slip, she doesn't comment on it. Instead, she reaches a hand out to soothe your squirming thighs. "Shhh, let me enjoy the view, baby. Just stay right there for me."

You watch with wide eyes as she takes her phone out, a breathtaking smirk on her face while she circles the bed, taking picture after picture of your vulnerable form. Knowing her phone is incredibly secure and fortified does little to quell the warmth that spreads along your face.

You know that's exactly why she does it. Because even though you'd never admit it, you love being on display for her. Showing her just how good you can be for her.

She takes her time, though. Watching as your hips buck more and more, as your legs shake with the effort of keeping yourself in place so the vibrator doesn't move away from your clit. As sweet as she is, she loves getting you like this.

"Katie, please," you whine once you can't take it anymore. As good as the vibrator feels, you need her. Need to feel her skin against yours and hear her voice in your ear as she makes you fall apart for her.

"I know, baby, it just feels so good, doesn't it?" Her words are soft but no less teasing. "You don't have to hold back, let me make you feel good."

She drops her phone before climbing onto the bed and crawling her way up to you. Her fingers trace a teasing path up your thighs before landing on the wet crotch of your panties.

"Such a messy girl," she mutters, more to herself than anything. "So wet for me."

You nod mindlessly, shifting your hips toward her. She takes the hint and presses her palm against the vibrator, making sure it's pressed right against your clit.

The sudden pressure makes you gasp and there's no way to stop your orgasm from crashing into you. If you had any thoughts left, you would feel embarrassed. Unfortunately, there's nothing but pleasure in both your body and mind, even as you cum far too quickly for your liking.

Kate doesn't seem to mind, though, considering the way her eyes eagerly drink up the sight of you. "Fuck, look at you, such a good girl for Daddy."

Her casual use of the title makes you gasp. Your walls clench desperately around pure air as she draws out more pleasure from you.

Even though a part of you wants to ask for a break, your body has other ideas. It's like you have no control over yourself or the way you keep bucking up into Kate's hand.

"Dirty girl." The archer chuckles as she leans down to press kisses to your neck. "I guess you're needier than I thought."

"Shut up-" You gasp, squirming underneath her in a shitty attempt to get closer to her.

Her hand sneaks inside your underwear just to turn the vibrator off and leave you shaking. "What was that? Is someone being a bit of a brat?"

The only response you can form is a whine. "Kate."

"Try again," she murmurs against your skin, her soft kisses turning into sharp nips.

Your squirming does little to quell the desperate flames your girlfriend has ignitied inside you. "Please, Daddy. I need more."

"Mmm, good girl. You sound so pretty when you beg for me."

She's technically going easy on you, but you can't tell if it's because you're needy or because she's needy. Either way, it doesn't seem to matter and, thankfully, the result is the same.

The result being her hand removing the vibrator and replacing it with her fingers.

Her touch is so soft it borders on teasing as she rubs slow circles on your swollen clit. You don't need much of a buildup after the strength of your last orgasm, but that doesn't seem to matter to her.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," she says, seemingly unaware of her torture. "How much I thought about you like this. Underneath me, making the prettiest noises for me."

"Don't tease."

Your slightly bratty tone seems to fly over her head. Or maybe she's just too excited to get her hands on you to really pay attention to your distate for her antics.

"I'm not," she replies. "I'm just taking my time."

You open your mouth to argue with her but she beats you to the punch by plunging two fingers into your tight heat. Your gasp gets buried by her loud groan and the sound has you clenching far too hard on her digits.

She feels it too because she drops the slightly infuriating, albeit extremely attractive, act and focuses her efforts on the thrust of her fingers. Her movements speed up, but she makes sure to stay close to you, peppering kisses on whatever part of your face she can reach.

The duality in her movements, the push and pull between her sweet side and her dominant side, has you plummeting toward the edge faster than you can even process.

Kate knows, she always seems to know, and she works you through the overwhelming sensations. Her pace doesn't let up, though, pushing you closer and closer to your release in the way only she can.

"Come on, baby, I can feel you clenching around me. Don't hold back, princess, cum for me."

Her words seem to be exactly the shove you need and before you know it, you're knee-deep in your second orgasm of the night. The pleasure quickly becomes overwhelming, though, and you trash around slightly, wanting to soak in the aftermath wiithout any extra stimulation.

For all her teasing and impatience, the archer is right there when she notices how sensitive you become.

"Shhh, hey, breathe for me, you're okay, princess. Everything's okay."

Her fingers make quick work of the rope tying you down and before you know it, your positions are flipped. She lifts you into her arms, carefully placing you on top of her and allowing you time to ground yourself, even as you still tremble with the aftershocks of so much pleasure.

It takes a little while for the ringing in your ears to fade, and even longer for your limbs to stop feeling like jelly, but Kate doesn't seem to mind. She simply holds you close, her arms wrapped snuggly around your waist.

"Kate," you mumble as you shift until your head is comfortably resting on her shoulder.

"Hey you, welcome back," she says, her voice like a warm caress. "How're you feeling?"

"Mmmm, sleepy."

"Yeah, I can tell." She chuckles. "Does this mean you liked your gift?"

"I loved it," you correct her. "And I love you."

"I love you more, y/n."

This time, you don't have the strength to correct her. Instead, you simply soak up the feeling of being in her arms again. 

[plumeria1]

A morning with Vi

Note : English is not my language. I can't believe my Jinx x Reader has passed 100 likes thank you so much 🥹

Pairing : Vi x fem reader

Warning : None

Summary : Vi and You have a morning talk.

Modern!au Vander and the others are alive (Vi was in jail for another reason, honestly I didn't think of anything)

The day Vi got out of prison, her sister Powder came to see her, and Vi was delighted to see her brilliant little sister in perfect health. She had grown so much. Vi was proud, soon Powder would be heading to university to pursue an engineering program.

Vi held Powder in her arms for a long moment, but when she stepped back, she saw you. She was so surprised, you, her best friend since childhood, were there. You had confessed your feelings to each other one month before her arrest, you had promised to wait for her and you kept your promise.

That night, she didn't leave your side for a second; it was a long moment full of tenderness, your hands exploring each other's bodies all night long.

You spent a long time admiring her tattoos, running your hand over them and and kissing her freckles.

You didn't let go of each other, spending the whole night cuddling and talking about everything and nothing. She had told you everything that had happened in prison.

Since that day, she had moved into the small apartment you shared with Powder, and you never left each other's side.

1 year later :

After another passionate night, you had once again pushed the blanket to the foot of the bed. You lay in Vi's arms, her head resting on your chest as she always did, one of her legs was draped between yours and her fingers traced lazy patterns on your arm.

Vi lifted her head from your shoulder and looked at you with a tender smile. You look at her curiously.

-Why are you smiling ?

-Because I realized something.

-Oh really? And what is it ?

-Well, every time we make love, you always push the blanket to the foot of the bed.

You laughed, knowing it was true.

-It's because of you, you're too warm. And you do things like that too.

-Really?

-Yes, you always put your head on my chest and stay there for some minutes without saying a word. I want to know why.

Vi sighed, closing her eyes, as if debating wether to answer.

-It reassures me. When I was in prison I was alone, so when I rest my head on you I listen to your heartbeat. It reminds me that you are here and it makes me feel better.

You placed your hand on her head, gently running your fingers through her hair.

-I thought you were going to say something silly, but actually, it's a very romantic way to say "I love you."

-I also do it because your breasts are soft and comfortable.

Your mouth fell open in mock outrage before both of you burst into laughter. Vi loved that sound more than anything.

-You know, when we make love, you do something that I love.

-Mm?

-It's when you scratch my back with your nails, it stings a bit but it means you like what I'm doing so it worth it.

-How could I not like it when you do that with your mouth?

-What do you mean by that ? She pretended not to understand.

-You know, when you-

A knock at the bedroom door cut you off. You sighed, starting to get up but Vi held you back.

-Don't go, let her knock.

From the outside of the door, Powder voice called out.

-Vi, open up, there's a package for you. You need to sign.

Vi groaned dramatically, reaching for her clothes scattered on the floor. She opened the door and turn you back with a little smile.

-Go back to sleep, I'll be right back.

You winked at her with a playful smile.

-I'll keep your spot warm.

She closes the door and you get back into bed, taking her place, and now, deprived of your girlfriend's warmth, you pull the warm blanket over yourself. As you fall asleep, you think about how lucky you were to have her in your life.

Thank for your reading 😉 I hope you liked it

[arcane-vagabond]

Hey again...

So I've kind of already mentioned it, but figured it was time to make an actual post.

A lot of you already know that I've been a participant in fandom for over a decade now, starting out in the original Hunger Games fandom and then quickly working my way to SuperWhoLock and a couple of others over the years. I took a step back from fandom because of different things going on in my life, and it wasn't really until Summer 2023 that I decided to get involved again. This time around, though, I had stories that I wanted to share and used writing fanfic as a way to navigate and cope with how crazy my day to day had become. Writing became my way to escape the uncertainty that had come with losing my job and keeping me sane while I hunted for a new one.

I could never have imagined how a silly, little U.S. military propaganda movie would change my life in such interesting ways.

I've been writing since I was old enough to tell stories, ideas floating in and out of my head faster than the speed of light, and even though my friends told me all the time how much they loved the ideas and my actual writing, I had convinced myself that I'm not a good writer. I held onto that belief for years until a story concerning a blond aviator as a an outlaw in the old west consumed me to the point where I thought I would go crazy if I didn't start to write it. So I did, and then I got the crazy idea to start posting it - just wanting to see if other people would like it too. To my absolute shock and awe, they did! A lot of people actually did! So I kept writing, and I quickly added new stories too which people seemed to enjoy. I made so many new friends, and people really did seem to enjoy my writing which made me so, so happy.

Stories have always been so special to me, and coming up with new ones and sharing them with others has always been a passion of mine. I love talking about them with other people, talking over theories and characters til I'm blue in the face. What's going to happen? Why? How will this affect the other characters? All things I love discussing, but...fandom doesn't like to do that anymore. All it is anymore is an endless sea of likes, which are...okay, but why are people refusing to talk to me? Are they bored? Are they shy? Was that last chapter too lackluster? Should I have added more action? Romance? Surely not because people are demanding more? More scenarios, more smut, more words, more, more more. Maybe I should step away for a day or two, just to give myself a break? Okay, yeah, that should be fine. Okay, what about a week? I have some stuff going on at this new job that I need to deal with. Okay, now people aren't even sending requests in. Now even fewer people are commenting or sending messages in. Why? Did I do something? Was I away too long? Surely people know that I'm a person behind this screen. Oh, now most of my friends are leaving the site...Now I haven't talked to anyone in weeks.

So...what's the point? Seems like people aren't even reading what I'm putting out these days, so why continue writing for a silent audience?

This is all to say these are some of the thoughts that have been going through my head lately, and I've decided that it's not healthy. Demanding attention from people unwilling to give it is not serving me anymore, and neither are the jealous and hateful people who hide behind the anonymous feature. People who have screamed at me since I started because they've been jealous of the attention I've gotten in the past, trying to get me to quit the entire time. Well, you win. You get your wish, congratulations. I hope you feel happy with the number of people who read your fics because surely they'll come read yours now that I'm not posting anything. Hating on me and my work was never going to make you a better writer or person.

As for me, I'll probably still make posts from time to time if I don't go back to my old blog again. I've decided to dedicate time to writing my actual novel that's been in the works for 12+ years now, and I have a renewed excitement for it now that I know my writing is worth reading. Thanks, strangers on the internet! And who knows, maybe TG3 will prompt me to write fanfic again one day.

For now, my stories will stay posted, but that may change as I decide more on what I'm doing, so please don't be surprised if one day they're actually gone. I've already cleared out my inbox, so...sorry if I didn't manage to get to your request.

I'd like to thank @sorchathered @pinguhub and @attapullman for the late night calls and vent sessions. @goldenseresinretriever and @fanficfandomlove for being constant rocks and sources of inspiration for my fics. And @roosterforme for being a solid head to rely upon and gab with. You guys rock, and I hope you'll stick with me for the journey that lies ahead.

Until next time.

Liz~

[lunaatthezoo]

WIP whatever (lol what day even is it): Sin & Salvation

Az is this cat let's be honest

Once in the car, Elain began directing Az towards her workplace.

Azriel didn't know whether or not he should bring up the whole window incident from the previous night. They were both apparently pretending like it never happened.

They didn't talk other than Elain providing directions, but the silence was again comfortable. Relaxed.

Azriel pulled up in front of the nursery and Elain unlatched her seatbelt.

“Have a great day at work, sweetie,” Az quipped in a joking voice.

Elain huffed a laugh and opened her door. “Thanks for the ride. I'm done at 4.”

“I remember,” Az answered. “I'll be around.”

Elain grinned at him and shut her door, floating over to the shop. He watched her walk in and then drove down the block a bit to begin his vigil.

Three hours passed and Azriel’s book finished. The villain monologued long enough that the hero was able to do something sneaky and save the day.

He started a new book. He nibbled on some trail mix and sipped at a water bottle.

He watched the street like a hawk. All was calm and quiet.

He thought about Elain. It had been less than 24 hours and he had already seen her cry twice, jerked off to visions of her, flirted with her shamelessly, and shared intimate details of his heart with her.

What the fuck was he doing.

He stared at the entrance to the nursery. Only about a dozen people had come and gone from the shop, but he had watched them all carefully, memorizing their clothes and builds. Making sure they all left eventually.

His stomach growled and he looked at his watch. 1:30. He hadn't brought anything for lunch so he decided to venture out of his car to find something to eat.

He pulled out his phone first to find a series of messages from Cassian that were sent throughout the morning.

Cass: oh god she's so scary

Cass: But also really hot. What the fuck did Feyre's parents do to produce three hot as fuck daughters?

Cass: She just yelled at me in public.

Cass: Her boss thinks I'm a stalker now.

Cass: I think she might want to fuck me?

Cass: I accidentally flirted with her.

Cass: I can't tell if I want to throw her off a bridge or marry her.

Cass: oh god help

Az chuckled.

Az: You still alive? Do you need a marriage license or an alibi? I have people for both.

He slid his phone into his pocket and stepped out of his car before waiting for a response.

[viperbunnies]

It's officially New years for me here! I am not the best at words, but I'm thankful for the support that I've received for the short amount of time that I've started posting art more often.

What started off as me wanting to just Archive some art I'm proud of snowballed to so many memories that I'll look back fondly to, so many silly ideas that breached containment that I remember seeing people do (Like the draw your oc reacting to their fave card that me and addie just talked about as a joke, and the Shroompocalypse that was just meant to be an Jade stealing people's yume joke)

I'm glad that I met so many amazing people and discovered new artists on this site! With that said I want to drop a few words of thanks to some of the amazing people that I've met here <3

Firstly, thank you to @oya-oya-okay being my first ever follower and mutual! If it weren't for you sharing my art I wouldn't be able to meet so many of my moots, your words of encouragement means a lot to me (and to other people that you also support!) I wish you well in life!

Thank you to @natsukishinomiyaswife ! If it weren't for you reaching out to me back then I probably would've continued lurking. You're a dear friend to me and I enjoy our random talks! May it be about life, or our own interests 💕 I hope the new year treats you kindly.

Thank you to @justm3di0cr3 ! For giving me so many ideas (some I've yet to finish...) and for listening to me whatever the topic maybe. I'm thankful that I met you! You're such a considerate person, always checking in on me whenever I feel down. If something's bugging you, I'm always all ears!

Thank you to @scint1llat3 , your overwhelming support has helped me so much. It's always fun seeing your currynoodles, and just your art in general. But it's just as fun just reading your thoughts! Your comments/tags are always so fun to read 😭 I hope you never get tired doing what you love! Labyu lodicakes (/p) kain ka ng madaming pansit sa new years for long life

Thank you to @jovieinramshackle ! I remember feeling so scared due to some inevitable changes, but seeing your general words of encouragement during that time helped me so much. Wishing you the best on your journey as well!

Thank you to @fell-e ! Your keysmashes and memes are so fun to see 😭 Genuinely need to know how you make them so quickly. Thank you as well for being my earliest supporters, I probably would've been burnt out so quickly if you didn't show genuine interest in my arts.

Thank you to @part-sadist ! For the laughs that you give me from your silly sketches, and for acknowledging some of my ideas. You've contributed so much ideas to my to do list as well, to the point that I don't think I'm gonna run out of any drawing prompts any time soon (They just need to give me the time already...)

Thank you to @taruruchi ! for being one of my earliest supporters, it's just so nice to see someone with similar interests as me! I still have so many Oz and Taru interactions that I want to make, so I hope you look forward to them hehe.

Thank you to @jadelover69 (i miss your old name /j) Thank you as well for your overwhelming support! I love seeing the things you rb on my tl, may it be twst or different fandoms you're interested in. They help lighten up my mood whenever I need it!

Thank you to @the-travelling-witch ! We haven't been mutuals for long, but you've always been so supportive of me! Thank you for showing genuine interests in my ocs! And for sharing me rambles about yours as well! If you ever get any new ideas, I'd love to hear them :> (Probably not asap due to Timezones and schedules, but of course I'll get to you soon!)

Thank you to my friend (alias Melone) If you see this I hope you know that I'm thankful that you pushed me to draw more. You'll always be my no. 1 hypeman, and I wish we can spend more time together soon. 2024 really is cursed-- our annual meetup didn't happen 😔 I hope we can meet soon! I still need to give you my gifts from your birthday.

If I could add everyone I've met here I genuinely would 😭 I love all of my moots/supporters /p.

Honestly I feel like I'm more cynical qnd negative irl... due to many reasons, but perhaps it's due to the people that I've met here that I'e had such a positive influence, which I'm honestly so thankful for. It's helped a lot with my personal struggles.

If you've made it this far, I hope you know that life gets better. A struggle today, doesn't determine the wind's path tomorrow. Wishing you all Happy new years! I hope that this coming year will be kind to us as all ^^

[altschmerzes]

🌹- can you give us some Frank's shenanigans from drive the wedge please? 🥺I'm sorry I'm a bit obsessed with this fic of yours

aaaabsolutely and dont be sorry, im also obsessed and i appreciate nothing more than being given excuses to talk about it and share clips XD the thing is 20k now if you can believe that

this is from chapter 1, some of his very earliest shenanigans and some of the mildest. but it does uh. set the stage. we also get some of river being a brat at the worst possible opportunity for him to do so

“So, have you worked out who I am yet?” There’s an air of smugness around the question. River glares Frank and thinks about how satisfying it would be to watch him keel over dead of a fucking aneurysm right now, right in three… two… one… Ah. Fuck. Guess not, then.

“Sure have,” River says, his words clipped and dripping with loathing that he doesn’t make even the slightest effort to hold back. “You’re a fucking psycho.”

Frank doesn’t react, not obviously. He doesn’t say anything and his face doesn’t change, he just keeps that faintly smug look, leaning back in his chair and watching River with hard eyes. The silence starts to grow heavy after several long seconds and it continues to grow heavier as it drags on after that. It’s a threatening kind of silence, which feels insane to think, except that this whole situation is insane, so maybe that’s relative.

It must have been at least a full minute that passes without a single word from either of the other men in the room when River starts to really regret what he’d said. Maybe it was a bad idea, he thinks with that voice from before echoing in his head again, to antagonize the people who were holding him prisoner. But nothing happens. Nothing happens except that Patrice stands unmovingly by and Frank stares with those unflinching eyes and River doesn’t feel any better for it.

“I’ll let that one slide, since you’ve had a very big day and are probably dealing with a lot of shock and some pretty massive changes in your life,” is what he eventually says. His voice is calm but there is no give to it. “But make no mistake, River, this is your one and only free pass. It won’t happen again. The next time you mouth off to me, you will pay for it, just like any of my sons would.”

Nausea takes River’s gut in a fist and twists. He regrets the psycho jab for a different reason now than just the violence consequence it has been made so clear to him that he has narrowly avoided in response to it. No, it had cost him something — River can never go back and be the first the acknowledge what he has known since looking at those postcards to be true. This is his father. This man, who had looped a plastic-coated steel cord around his neck and tightened it until it bit into his skin, is his father, and River had wanted to be the first one to say it, to take that one tiny, meaningless piece of power. And now Frank has taken it instead, because River decided to shoot off his mouth.

[dawnthefluffyduck]

Sunday doodles

[sherlock-is-ace]

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[unladielike]

( some ooc introspection underneath the cut that you aren’t required to read. i just had a lot of thoughts about myself lately, and while it’s a personal recounting with a happy ending, it does contain mentions of mental health issues, autistic suffering, suicidal thoughts, and escapism, so i would suggest not reading it if you’re sensitive to that sorta stuff: )

Looking back, I think the reason I never really enjoyed sharing details about my personal life was because as an autistic woman, I felt inept. Honestly, compared to my highschool years where I had peaked and excelled, I remember I just... struggled as soon as I entered college, to the point where I eventually had to drop out, if only because the coursework was way too difficult for me and I couldn’t keep up with it.

To me, it really was as though everyone else seemed to have no issues, moving on with their lives and graduating, while I was stuck in one place... failing to be productive. Why, at one point, I even fell into a state of depression, that even thinking about my future or being asked about what I planned to do with the rest of my life gave me intense anxiety. Seriously, every time my older sister asked about my plans, it would subsequently trigger me... that was how avoidant I was when it came to myself.

To that end, I did not like to talk about how I was essentially an unemployed shut-in who only went out to walk my dog, and how everyday, I struggled to hold onto a reason to stay alive upon thinking of myself as a disgrace; in fact, unlike certain people, trauma-dumping is not something I particularly enjoy, so for the longest period of time, roleplay was my form of escapism.

It’s why when I found myself in a friend group, I only ever talked about roleplay-centric stuff around them. Whereas they were eventually burned out from tumblr roleplay, I kept hyperfixating over ships/muses and infodumping on that one specific niche fandom rather than branching out into newer ones. Meanwhile, they would occasionally bring up real life stuff and air out their personal grievances with the people in their lives, which is something I could never bring myself to do, because I didn’t want to be known like that... therefore, I never wanted to talk about anything else besides my special interests.

Either way, due to how alone I was, I ended up becoming very traumatized when they stopped replying to me, both IC and OOC. Of course, I know now it was unhealthy to latch onto roleplay partners the way I did, but in my defence, I was mentally... very fragile, to the point where the RPC was my only refuge from real life back then. Honestly, now that I think about it, this avoidance of reality was probably why The Caligula Effect is a series that still strongly resonates with me to this day and has a very special place inside my heart.

Regardless, it took me being dropped by this friend group for me to finally decide I no longer want to spend all my free time, devoting myself to tumblr roleplay... that somewhere along the way, I ended up getting a job, after years of remaining stagnant. Of course, there are times where I still bemoan having to work, but all in all, I think I’m better off for it, especially since nowadays, I don’t even think about wanting to kill myself. Heck, I’m actually thriving at my job, which is something I never expected.

...At the same time, though, the lack of communication and ableism I experienced from the RPC made me less willing to open up and make new friends, because I’ve already been hurt way too many times and as a result, lack the desire to talk to many people.

[snekdood]

i worry a lot about some transfems and its not me trying to be like "im better than you" or some shit its bc some of them remind me of me when i was a kid and new into being considered a girl/woman and being really naive thinking people would treat me better than they would- like i knew people were gonna be shitty but i wasnt prepared for the sheer amount of dehumanization and being reduced to just a sex object... idk... I just want some of you out there to be careful...

[libraford]

It is possible to interact with people whom share opposing views and no this is not about pineapple on pizza. In fact, it is imperative that you learn how to be civil with some people who you may find difficult to agree with.

At work, Youngin would often tell me that the guy that trained him (Ginger) was a misogynist. I had never met Ginger, and I had very little to say on this matter. But I would ask Youngin some questions about him because I like to know the other seasonal workers a little. I ask about Ginger- first words from Youngin's mouth 'he's a misogynist.'

I asked him why he thought that. (There are many misogynists at this location, as someone that is woman-shaped I see it often, I am comparing notes.)

"We were on our way to a location and a driver was going really slowly. When he got around her he said 'fucking women drivers.' Like he was going out of his way to prove that the driver was a woman."

The last month or so, Youngin worked exclusively with me because I knew that it was a matter of time before he said something that pissed off one of the guys. He was not going to get along with people here, it just wasn't happening.

When he left, everyone wanted to know what he was like to work with. And I finally got to have a conversation with Ginger.

"I'd like to ask you something a little strange- he said that on his first day there was an issue with a driver going slowly. Can you tell me about that?"

"Oh yeah! She was going super slow and when I got around her I said 'yup- little old lady driving.' And he was like 'what's that supposed to mean?' And I just kind of dropped it, but I hear he was saying I was a misogynist over it?"

So I give Youngin some grace because he's young, he's got a social bubble that's very liberal, he has not met very many people that weren't part of that kind of scene. But he often talked about how every person here has said something that pissed him off and he seemed really surprised that I (woman-shaped queer liberal) would be okay working with all these sexist homophobes.

And I give grace to Ginger because he had no reason to think that his words would be interpreted like that. What he was saying was normal to him. This is... somewhat the culture of landscaping jobs. And its not even close to the worst thing I've heard out of these dudes mouths. (Literally had one of the dudes comment that he would like to 'motorboat' one of the pedestrians.)

It was weird for Youngin to carry that with him for the whole two months that he worked here, over a very... small comment.

Every single person I've worked with here has said something that has given me pause and I tuck it away to rant about later and then I let it go. If it gets out of hand, I talk to one of the bosses about it. I know how to contact HR. I came into this place knowing that I was going to disagree politically with most of the people that I work with because I'm coming in to a culture that is fundamentally different from my own.

If I am being frank, I find the overt bigotry somewhat better than the corporate bullshit of 'we value your contributions, but won't be granting your accommodations request out of fairness to other workers' or the glass cliff or literally being fired for my sexual orientation but phrased with 'oh you just weren't a good fit for the culture here.' I at least know what I'm getting into when I come to work. I know what not to talk about. Last time I thought I was safe to talk about something queer with my boss she blindsided me with some transphobic garbage.

Its admirable to stick up for the marginalized people in your life, but part of changing minds is knowing the time and the place to comment. I think I've changed more minds at this warehouse by being a visibly out lesbian at work than I have by making carefully crafted speeches.

That is fine. It is fine to disagree. Sometimes you have to work with racists, homophobes, and assholes. That is part of being an adult. You talk about things like... sports or TV or weather or some cool bug you saw. Finding common ground with people who are different from you in many ways is an important part of socialization and it sucks to think you have anything in common with a jackass but look- you're spending 7-ish hours with these people and at some point some of them are going to say stupid shit. You are going to say stupid shit also. I have said my fair share of stupid shit. Deal with the fact that you're all stupid shits.

And for fuck's sake, wear your hardhat.

[set-wingedwarrior]

.

[snapbackslide]

bye ofc right after i posted that the twitter clikkies saw it and tyler did too 😭😭😭

bro qrted with a doctor emoji i'm deaaaad

guess which song lmao 😭

[infiniteglitterfall]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)