#[ the death of imagination in the subconscious of an adolescent] || drabbles

[backintothematrix-archive]

The cause, the kid, the course, the charm, and the curse!

I did threaten to write this. Here's Rex's trial and sentencing. It's under a read more because it's so damn long.

He was found fairly quickly by one of the members of the Assembly of Master Builders as he was trying to access his ship. The reports from Emmet and Lucy stated that Dangervest was not supposed to be a problem anymore. Why was here now? Oh well. This just created a new problem: what to do with such a destructive man.

The first thing the Assembly did was lock him in a makeshift prison, built by the best Builders be impenetrable and unbreakable. It was guarded 24/7 by the strongest figs they could find. There were some objections, of course; some arguments that they didn't do this to Lord Business. But Rex was a wild card, dangerous and unhinged. It was easy to silence the naysayers.

Rex could have called Emmet at any time during his incarceration. He didn't want to. He couldn't face him, not like this. He barely wanted to face him in the laundry room the day he came back. You couldn't expect Rex to want Emmet to see him under lock and key like this, curled up in a corner and waiting for... what? Final judgement?

That judgement came soon enough. He was soon taken by a Friends and Duplo guard to a rebuilt and very sparkly dog dome. His face fell when he saw the place, memories of the last time he met the Master Builders in that building hitting him like a crushing wave.

He was pushed to the center of the circular room and he could almost feel the Piece of Resistance on his back again. The gazes of the other Master Builders felt more cutting now, though. It was Abraham Lincoln who spoke first, his voice barely cutting through Rex's memories.

"Rex Dangervest. You stand accused of starting Ourmommageddeon and nearly destroying the world as we know it. How do you plea?"

Why bother with this fake courtroom posturing? Rex took a slow breath, finally digging himself out of his thoughts.

"Why don't you answer that, big guy? Ya clearly know the answer." His tone was defensive and defiant but there was an underlying fear mixed in. This reply earned a volley of offended whispers from the gathered Builders.

"Answer the question, Dangervest! How do you plea to the charges?" Rex couldn't be sure who shouted that, but it really didn't matter to him. This was all clearly a game. Someone up there was introduced to the courtroom dramas Finn and Bianca's mother occasionally snuck downstairs to watch.

"I'm not gonna plea anythin'. What are ya gonna do? Make me?" He kept his tone defiant as she scanned for familiar faces. Soon, his eyes fell on Benny. The one person last time who was willing to vouch for him. This time, though... He could tell the other was disappointed. Benny didn't even know who he really was and he looked so heartbreakingly disappointed in him.

"We can so make you, Dangervest." A different voice spoke, this one from someone he didn't recognize at all. Clearly, they were already letting Systarians in. Others chimed in with demands for Rex to make a plea.

"Fine. I'll play your little game. Guilty. You an' I both know I started it. Woulda finished it, too." He kept his tone flat, despite the feeling of guilt that threatened to choke him out from his throat. He was, to his credit, a good actor. More whispers from the Assembly. More heartbreak when he turned to look at Benny.

"Even the accused admits to his part in Ourmommageddeon. Is there more we need to do here?" Gandalf's voice made Rex's eye twitch. Did he always sound so damn pompous?

"Yes!" The voice of his former spaceman friend chimed in. "Shouldn't he give us his side?" The color found its way to Rex's face. Once again, Benny came to his defense. Even if the spaceman didn't know who he was.

"Intent means nothing here. He started Ourmommageddeon! That's a big deal!" Damn you, Abraham Lincoln.

"We gave President Business a second chance and he tried to Kragle us! How is that better than the Bin of Storaj?" Rex again couldn't place who said that. His focus was mainly on Benny and Gandalf.

"Because we say so, that's why!" Gandalf banged his staff against the floor, like that helped solidify his authority. The old man seemed unmoved.

"Aw, come on! Let him speak!" Benny pleaded, the voice of mercy in this kangaroo court.

"Alright, Dangervest. Speak on your behalf. "

Rex could feel everyone's eyes on him. He had their attention and took full advantage, painting the picture as vividly as he could. He held nothing back and, by the end, was shaking. He didn't like being outed like this, but there wasn't much of a choice here. Maybe the truth would grant him leniency. When his story was done, he was sent away with two different guards back to his cell, waiting for the punishment for his crimes.

The next week felt too long and too fast at the same time. He was present for every testimony, every nail in his coffin. Each person's side, depicting the ripple effects of Rex's rage induced actions made the Matrix he was dragged into feel more real. To him, it was all NPCs crying for justice, all of them imaginary pawns in a teenager's...tween's?... maybe both?... mental court of opinion. But the more the trial dragged on, the more he had to answer to his crimes, the more real it all felt. He felt weaker with each story of rebuilding after his shot against their gods. Not even this fact helped keep him from finally breaking down at the last day of testimony. He was glad Emmet wasn't there. He couldn't see Rex like this, looking so weak.

----------

He couldn't sleep so he attempted to connect to the Man Upstairs. Maybe if he did that, he could bend the verdict to his favor. He sat in his corner and closed his eyes, doing his best to clear his mind. It used to be so easy! Why couldn't he clear...

His mind. After what felt like a decade, it was empty enough that he could see into the other side of the veil between worlds. What he saw, though, was not what he expected.

He saw a woman's face. She had dark hair that was the length and style of his own, but with blue and pink highlights in the bangs like his former girlfriend. She didn't notice him as she checked her phone. "There. Never thought I'd be installing this again." She threw on some headphones and bounced her head to an unheard song. She soon started singing.

"Because the Hook brings you back! I ain't tellin' you no lie!"

Before he could register the song, he was pulled out of the vision by the guards. Who was that girl? She wasn't Finn or Bianca. Didn't matter. He had bigger things to think about.

He was soon at the dog dome one last time. Rex felt sick from worry, but he kept his composure. He scanned the stands where his former peers sat, trying to read his fate on their faces but couldn't.

"Rex Dangervest, we have heard testimony from the people of Syspocalypstar about what chaos your crimes have wrought. Are you expecting mercy from this court?" Gandalf seemed particularly melodramatic today.

Rex shrugged. "You can do whatever ya wanna. I'm not expectin' nothin'." He sounded as weak as he felt. Just get this over with.

"We have taken your tale into consideration, however we do need to make sure you really have learned your lesson. You are to help rebuild the Downstairs Realms to the way they were before untill such a day as this Assembly believes your debt to society has been paid. We will assign you to a new place every month. If you are to move away from your current residence, we must be informed. Is this understood, Rex Dangervest?" Abraham Lincoln read this sentence from an official looking scroll.

Rex felt a little relief. "Yeah. That works for me."

[werewolfdays]

drabble - Shackled

based off of a prompt from the @whumptober2019 prompt list, Jayde talks to Nadya about the most traumatic part of her past-

My hand automatically placed itself on Nadya’s thigh when I sat back down on the couch by the fireplace. I noticed Nadya’s gaze linger on the subtle scar wrapping around my wrist from the silver shackles that were placed on me when I was captured. She would do that sometimes. Take a special interest in one of the scars that she knew I gained from my years in captivity. But she never mentioned it. Even when I felt her curiosity towards it, she usually kept quiet. 

“You never ask.” 

She blinked up at me in confusion, “Ask what?”

“You know what I mean.” I said gently.

A moment of silence passed. Nadya stared down at my scar again, reaching out to brush her thumb over it. “I didn’t think it was something I should bring up.” 

“But you want to know.” I responded in understanding.

The warmth of her brown eyes settled back on me. “Not bad enough to put you through the pain of remembering.” 

I grabbed her hand to play with her fingers, “You can always ask me whatever you want, you know that.” A small crooked smile flashed across my face, “Plus, I heard somewhere that talking about things can sometimes maybe help.”

Nadya smiled briefly too, but then she went into quiet thought for a minute. I watched her contemplate exactly what question she wanted to ask with a mixture of dread and anticipation. I rarely talk about being held captive, figuring my scars were enough of an explanation. Nadya made me feel safe though. She is the only person that I haven’t given boundaries to on the subject. I didn’t feel the need to. Even with that amount of freedom I gave to her, she hasn’t abused it, which just made me love her more. 

“What…” Nadya hesitated like she didn’t believe me, “What was it like?”

My eyes wandered around the Den. What little guests there were didn’t seem to care about us or what we were talking about. Toby didn’t even glance in our direction from the bar. Not like I expected anyone to be listening anyway, but I suddenly felt exposed. I took a moment to focus on Nadya’s hand holding mine to ground me. Since I had just told her she could ask, I felt obligated to follow through, but it suddenly made me feel trapped. Then I realized Nadya would never force me to talk about this. If I said the word, she would drop it. No questions asked. No judgement. That reassurance gave me the final push I needed to speak. 

“Well, at first it wasn’t so bad if I’m being honest. I mean, I did watch my dad get murdered and I was beaten and taken away from my mom and my home.” Recalling the events was met with some resistance. As soon as my mom and I were taken, I was resigned to our fate. The only light of hope I had was the knowledge that Skye was safe. “But they waited until I was fully recovered. They politely asked questions about my experience as a werewolf and took basic tests. I guess I was a rare find, being a purebred adolescent werewolf. It almost felt like I was getting a physical at the doctor’s. But I was pissed. I didn’t give them shit if I could help it. All I wanted was to see my mom.”

“You were sixteen?” Nadya asked.

“Mhm,” I nodded, “One of them- maybe a scientist, I’m not sure- sat me down and tried to convince me that their work was good. That they were trying to advance medicine and improve the world. She spoke to me like I was a child, telling me that we could work together and that I could be a hero.” I scoffed, wishing that I had bashed that woman’s face in, “Obviously, I didn’t buy into her shit. I think that meeting was my last chance to cooperate, because things changed after that. They put me in a solitary confinement cell and took me out a few times a week to perform tests.” 

I heard Nadya’s heart rate begin to pick up, dreading the details as much as I did. 

“It started off pretty tame. They would take tons of samples, blood, saliva, that sort of thing. Then they wanted to watch me turn. I must’ve held back a shift for months just to spite them. Ironically, that’s where I learned a lot of my control. Each full moon was horrible. It felt like my blood was going to boil and my skull was going to burst, but I still held it back. So they tried to force a turn.” Nadya’s breath hitched at my emphasis of force, “They tried everything from electric shocks to adrenaline shots. Pretty sure that almost killed me a couple times... I’m not sure what did it though, I just knew that one day it became too much, so I let them have their win.” 

I started to worry that I was painting too horrific of a picture, but Nadya didn’t object. Maybe she felt like she needed to hear it. A voice in the back of my head told me to stop. She doesn’t need to know this. It’s hurting her as much as it did you. It told me. The look of pained determination on her face silently urged me to continue. She can handle it. I thought back. 

“They tested the limits of my durability, sometimes pushing me to the brink of death to monitor my healing. Also trying out silver, wolfsbane, and anything else that was mentioned in folklore to see how that affected me and my shifting or healing.” I only realized after I broke out that those were mostly weapons tests against my kind, but I didn’t mention that, “Sometimes they would drag me out of my cell and put me under and I would wake up back in my bed however long later with no idea of what they did to me. Just a new scar somewhere.” 

Broken memories came back to me. Somewhat detached. Like all of this happened to someone else. The rage and fear that had rooted itself so deep within me during those years wanted to manifest, but it was like I couldn’t muster it. I just felt cold. 

“After a while, all the days just… blended together. I couldn’t tell you if it was day or night, there was just these goddamn fluorescent lights on twenty-four seven. And that wasn’t even the most maddening part, because they only asked questions in the beginning. The rest of the time I was there, barely anyone spoke to me. No matter how much I cursed them out- how much I begged. Though, they were feeling nice one day and decided to let me know that my mom didn’t survive the experiments.” 

My jaw clenched bitterly, finally feeling the primal rage that I knew was inside me all the time. Sometimes lying dormant, patiently waiting for the right time to be unleashed. And just like that... it faded away to the cold again. 

“They all became blank faces with blank stares. That just made it seem even less real. Like I was screaming at faceless people in a nightmare. I didn’t even know how long I was in there until I got out.” 

Three years. I still remember how shocked I was when I picked up my first newspaper. Three years had somehow felt like a lifetime. Or more accurately, an endless black pit where time didn’t exist. 

“That place, it’s…” I stammered, unsure of how to go about describing it, “I wasn’t alive. And I wasn’t dead either. I was something in between, floating in someplace in between.” 

A stillness settled between us when I was finished. My heart was beating slowly, but each thump felt like a kick to the chest. I finally turned to see tears falling freely down Nadya’s cheeks. That in turn made me notice my own. My hand came up in time to catch a tear in its descent, and I pulled it back to stare at the moisture on the tip of my finger in bewilderment. I felt mostly nothing while recounting my horrors, yet my body still reacted. It knew what we should be feeling, but my subconscious was kind enough to spare me. Until now, that is. When I looked to Nadya again, she seemed to notice my internal struggle.

“Let’s get out of here.” She said, wiping her tears off on her sleeve and standing up. 

I got up to follow her, her hand fitting perfectly in mine as she pulled me along. Just focus on her. Nadya led me towards the fire pits outside. My breath immediately turned to mist in the freezing night air. The cold was actually a much needed slap to the face. I took a few deep breaths, letting go of Nadya’s hand to lean on the icy railing overlooking the lake that was illuminated by moonlight. She stood beside me and her hand came to rest on my back, moving in soothing circles to settle my mind. 

“You were looking a little pale.” Nadya said, keeping up the pace of her light massage, “Thought some fresh air might help.” 

An iron grip on the railing turned my knuckles white, but with each breath, my vice loosened. “Is, uh, is that what you were hoping to hear?” I chuckled in a poor attempt at humor.

I regretted it when Nadya’s hand stopped. Thankfully it only lasted a second because her arm went lower to wrap around my waist and lean into me. “Well, I was hoping that it wasn’t as bad as I imagined. Foolish, I know.” Her gaze fell, but only so she could run an index finger along my strained knuckles, “Especially since it ended up being worse.”

“It was years ago.” I said like it made it any better. Like time negated all of the trauma when it clearly didn’t. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself it did. 

“You’re right,” Nadya shifted to take my hand in both of hers, purposefully tracing the scar she was studying earlier, “But I still see it every day. All over you. And I heard it in your voice even before you told me. You know what else I see?” the way Nadya cradled my hand against her chest put me in some sort of trance as I hung onto every word she spoke. “I see just how strong you are. Jay, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I’ve always seen that.” 

“You think way too highly of me.” I told her with a bashful smile.

“It’s the truth.” She insisted. Her own playful smile lit up her beautiful face, “I want to be as strong as you when I grow up.” 

The laugh I released was such a welcome sensation, pulling me away from the lingering darkness, “You already are.” My arms wrapped around Nadya’s body and she nuzzled her head into my neck. The tip of her nose was already freezing and caused my body to flinch slightly at the shock of feeling it against my skin. “You’re so cold.”

“And you’re so warm.” Nadya remarked, slipping her hands under my shirt, which weren’t as cold as her nose, but still made me tense up until they warmed. 

“You guys like freezing your asses off?” I heard Toby say and turned to see him coming towards us with two steaming cups of what smelled like tea in his hands. 

“At least once a week so a new one can grow in.” Nadya joked, accepting the cup he handed to her. 

Toby shook his head at her in amusement and handed me the other one that was spiked with whiskey. I smelled it from ten feet away. He must’ve sensed that I needed it and I took it gratefully, saying my thanks with a purposeful nod. 

“Alright, well I don’t need to grow a new ass, so see you guys later.” Toby quipped and went to go back inside. He hesitated by the door and called, “Try not to stay out too long.”

“We’ll be inside in a few minutes.” I reassured him. He nodded in relief, seemingly satisfied that whatever I was going through wasn’t bad enough to freeze myself to death, and went back to the Den.  

I took a long sip of my tea, savoring all the flavors of the various herbs mixing with the alcohol. Letting the hot liquid fill my insides with a warm embrace to relax me. Nadya rested her head on my shoulder while she held her cup in her grasp like a hand warmer. I took in her scent for a few minutes too. It reminded me of the very tea she was drinking, mixed autumn spices that paired perfectly with the cold weather. The kind of scent that made you want to curl up by a fire in your favorite blanket. 

“You know, you’ll never have to go back to that place.” She said calmly, “I won’t let anyone take you back there. I promise.” 

My smile warmed me as much as she did. “I believe you.”