#[ thIS GOT REALLY FUCKING LONG AND I AM NOT SORRY IN THE SLIGHTEST please read it omg it's actually important

[johnslittlespoon]

okay listen feral bikerider gale/past catching up to him/etc etc etc anon here and can I just say. thank you. I’m not overly interested in the actual violence or gang-shit or whatever. when I first read about the bikerider au all I could think about was sons of anarchy (idk if you’ve watched it, but I watched three seasons with my dad and it’s all just. gang conflict after gang conflict after gang conflict with some romance sprinkled on top and that’s not. really my thing) and I was not into it. at all. then your yapping (affectionate) converted me. hearing that it won’t be all weapon smuggling and, idk, drugs or smth is actually so reassuring lol

and!!! obviously it’s your fic/au, I’m definitely not here to try to influence you in any way whatsoever!!! I’m super excited to read it no matter what because your writing is just. lovely. I check in pretty much every morning like I’m reading the papers lmao

doing something semi-stupid in your past feels like kind of on brand for everyone, even though it might not be illegal for most. and maybe it wasn’t illegal for Gale, either, bro I am not a very good writer, I’ll leave the plotting to someone else.

but I’ll always love the idea of Gale being a little feral. or a lot feral. like John getting hurt in a bikerider au tickles my brain the same way John punching a German guard in canon centric fics does. Nevermind the guard, I just need the fallout. the angsty fallout.

John and Gale coming back home, and Gale sitting him down in the bathroom to very, very carefully patch him up (and, listen, the other guys probably just roughed him up a little. he probably got away with minor bruises and some scrapes), and Gale being insanely worried that he has scared John. John on the other hand is worried for Gale, because what if it happens again? What if the police finds out? John being worried that he somehow messed up.

and, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t mind reading feral gale beating the shit out of people. It’s just not something I want to read a full fic of.

finally, because I just need to add this, too: Gale’s knuckles being split and bleeding and John so very carefully cleaning them up, pressing gentle kisses to the cuts when he has to scrape the dried blood up to get it properly clean. Gale not being sure what he did to deserve John, being so sweet and gentle and caring.

okay, over and out 🫡 sorry for not being that clear in the other ask, I blame. idk, sleep deprivation. and sorry for making this so long, idk what I’m on about half the time and my meds are doing shit to my brain. I love your blog and your writing just. makes my fucking days. I’d wait forever for the next chapter of dog coded Bucky ❤️

YIPPIEE more leaving!bikeriders au >:) hii i meant to get back to this SO long ago, feels like good timing now with the bikeriders theatre day approaching! i'm assuming you're the anon from this post <3

i have THOUGHTS. aka this got lengthy oops, shocker. a bit of plotting and then like 2k words of drabble below the cut lmfaoo

the proper drabble will be further down, but first of all, very big agree!! and relieved i'm not the only one who feels this way omg. i haven't watched SOA for this reason specifically– i just don't have much interest in the conflict/violence–heavy plot stuff (which is ironic considering i'm excited for the bikeriders movie, but i think it's pretty clear that's because of the lovely cast lol since i don't care for bikes/cars in the slightest oops). HONOURED that my yapping converted you tho LOL i swear if something is character focussed, it can make 99% of topics at least somewhat appealing!

and please don't worry omg i don't feel influenced/pressured etc, i loveee bouncing ideas and brainrot back and forth for my aus, it's sm fun and i love trying to incorporate things other people like/suggest when i can!! <3 but omg i will weep thank you so much wtf?? :'))

for sure; even the most stoic/'put together' characters surely have done some not very bright things in their lives. i'm toying with a couple backstories for gale to establish what might catch up to him or cause conflict, but i'm gonna wait to decide until i see the movie because i have a feeling i'll get some good inspo from benny's story!

honestly it's the part i'll have to put the most effort into really thinking out in terms of plot to make it flow naturally, because all the relationship focussed things kinda write themselves as i brainrot. but i'm 99% sure i'm gonna write the fic from john's pov because it'll keep a lot of gale a mystery to the readers as well, and therefore save me from having to flesh out certain things until necessary lmfaoo

and yeah!! it's not always the events themselves that hit the hardest– it's the fact that the character could be feral enough for them to happen in the first place, and it's the outcome/fallout that's most fun to write/read (to me).

feral gale is so fun to explore in general because of how different it is to most of what we're shown of him in mota, so it's like a challenge to keep him feeling in character while also picking out the little parts of him that could be pushed to be that way. and of course the classic whump of the one person gale cares about and tries so hard to protect getting hurt because of him? endless angst possibilities.

i dig what you said, about john 'just' being roughed up a little, because i think with whatever backstory i end up forming, it's not like the 'bad guys' are gonna be some mastermind criminals extorting gale for something life or death lol. it's probably gonna be a bunch of rough and tumble biker men with some long lasting beef between their clubs, hitting gale where they know it'll hurt the worst: a loved one.

i bet you anything (depending on how plotting goes LOL) that they don't actually even intend to mess john up to the extent they do; i bet john runs his mouth and makes some sorta escape attempt because as terrified as he is, all he can think about is how gale's gonna obviously track him down and he's more worried about what the guys are planning to do to gale when he shows up. in his naive mind, if he can get out and get to a phone or something, he can stop everything.

ofc the escape attempt is futile because it's one gangly college kid vs a couple of grown ass men, and john gets banged up in the process, seeing as being tackled to the ground with your wrists bound behind your back doesn't leave you with anything to protect your face from concrete with, and maybe then he gets a solid fist to the face to scare him out of pulling anymore shit (it sure works).

and just the act of taking john/putting him danger alone would have gale ready to wring these men out by their necks, but when he shows up and sees his baby bleeding? and he can't tell how bad he's hurt, from where he's lurking around the corner scoping out the situation? he'd see red and be pretty dang close to saying fuck it and going in there without a plan, but the fear of john getting hurt in the process would stop him, and he doesn't feel like going down for murder.

somehow he picks off the guys one by one with a generous amount of flying fists and y'know, maybe a bit of knife–work if necessary, idk, future plotting lol, and tells them they're good as dead if they pull anything like this again. that the club will be keeping an eye out for them, that they're a buncha cowards, and they can come talk to him face to face like men, next time. you get it.

and then finally, obligatory wound care ofc <3 easily top three tropes ever ugh. gale gets john the fuck out of there and to the safety of his truck, methodical and vigilant, and only then does his guarded expression drop, and his hands are shaking just as hard as john's are when he cups john's face in his hands to look him over. john gives him a shell–shocked "'m fine, gale" and hates how guilty gale looks, because there's not even the tiniest part of john that blames gale for any of it; john knew what he was getting into (to an extent) with gale.

but regardless, gale's shaken up, terrified by how much worse things could've gone and how much danger john could've been in, but also terrified of how deeply he feels for john; probably some backstory there about gale seeing someone he loved get hurt, or almost get hurt, swearing he'd never bring someone into his life again because of it, etc, and then in waltzes stubborn, loud–mouthed john egan.

but selfishly (or what he feels is selfish), gale's also terrified that this might be the final nail in the coffin for john. he knows he's not the easiest to be with (even though john thinks the exact same thing about himself lol silly boys) and he knows john's more patient than he deserves, and could find someone his own age with a normal life in a heartbeat with his sweet disposition and charming pretty boy looks. and he knows john's well within his rights to walk away from their relationship now, to be scared of the future, to decide it's too much, and part of gale would be relieved to not have to worry, even if he'd miss john like he's lost half of himself.

it's real quiet when they're back home and john's sitting on the bathroom counter, gale between his legs, patching up his face so so gently, as if each brush of a cotton swab is an apology. both of them have lots to say but neither know how to say it; john hates knowing gale's probably shouldering all the blame and he doesn't know how to reassure him in a way that'll get through to him, but he can't handle the silence. probably makes a weak joke about how "y'shoulda seen the other guy" and doesn't even get a smile out of gale.

ends up wrapping his legs around gale's hips to pull him closer but just gets a huffed out, frustrated "john" as gale swats his ankles away, and it's not that john's trying to make light of what happened, he just doesn't know how to talk about something like that, regardless of how good he and gale have gotten at communicating.

john probably gets a bit frustrated, because gale’s already so protective over him as is, which he likes, but now gale’s treating him like glass, like he’s scared to hurt him further just by touching him, and john does not like that. it feels like progress undone, like he's back at the beginning of their relationship when gale wouldn't let him in or open up to him or trust that he was capable of making his own decisions.

so when gale's done bandaging him up with practiced, meticulous hands, john doesn't give gale time to react, just slides off the counter and snatches the little first aid kit from his hands and says "okay, your turn." and it's obvious gale wants to protest, but john catches him so off guard that he stunned into silence, lets john guide him until he's leaning against the counter.

john's hands still tremble when he takes gale's hands in his, and he tries to steady them because he doesn't want gale to see how freaked out he is, but he diligently cleans away the blood around his knuckles, feeling gale's eyes on him the whole time but not looking away from his task, scared he'll shatter the moment if he does.

if he were to look up though, he'd see gale's watching him in complete awe, struck by the fiercest wave of adoration, drawing a blank while he tries to search for what he could've possibly done in this life or another to have someone like john come (crashing, stumbling, tornado–ing) into his life.

and if we wanna make it extra yowch–y and sappy and feelings heavy: as john's brushing his lips over the cuts, dusting featherlight kisses across his knuckles, john's throat goes tight and he feels his own overwhelming rush of emotions and his heart thumps and he blurts out: "i love you."

it's the first time one of them says it. and it’s a disguised i love you even so. i love you despite. i love you anyway. i love you because. months worth of reassurances wrapped into three words, and even with what john's just gone through, he's still scared when it slips out, looks up at gale with wide, searching eyes, trying to gauge whether he's overstepped or said the wrong thing.

gale's just trying to catch his breath, feeling like the wind's been knocked out of him by the admission. half of him wants to shake his head, gently push john's hands away, tell him "no you don't, hun." a tiny part of him wants to be cruel about it, to laugh the honesty off and ensure john will walk out that door far, far away from the mess that gale is, and not turn back, safe from harm.

but the other half of him, the half that holds his heart, evidently, has him cupping john's open, sincere face in his hands, looking down into bright, fearful, hopeful blue eyes, and murmuring "i love you more."

and john blushes as hard as he did the first time they'd kissed, as hard as he did the first time he was laid out in gale's bed, as if he and gale haven't said a million things much more fluster–inducing since they met. gets all shy, pouts, looks down and mumbles "that's not fair," and that finally gets the first smile out of gale all day, maybe even a breath of a laugh.

they love each other your honour </333

this got way out of hand but what else is newwww i'm so weak for these two. so so weak. i keep saying it but MAN i'm so excited to write this fic this summer omg :')

and DON'T BE SORRY!! it's so chill omg, you were perfectly clear (but i'm glad you elaborated and gave me an excuse to yap about them some more hehehe) and never apologize for long messages, i loveee reading the brainrot and hearing ur thoughts and getting to brainrot back. and thank you AGAIN sobs 😭💗 that makes MY days and ur way too kind fml. i hope the wait hasn't been too long LOL on the chapters AND a response to this ask!! tysm again mwah

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Lost & Found - Chapter Eight.

Thank you so much to everyone for your readership, it means the world to me :) And now here we have it at last, Emma's story in full. Grab a drink, maybe a snack, too. It's a long read!

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven

Words - 4,623

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, Minors DNI. Recounts of kidnap, child trafficking, physical/verbal/sexual abuse in the coming chapters.

“Fuck,” he whispered, not immediately knowing how the hell to handle it. Try and talk her down and risk her getting further triggered in her catatonic state, thus heightening the likelihood he’d have his head blown off, or risk the same by wrestling the gun from her. “Emma, Emma it’s me, Guero. You’re alright, you had another dream again. He isn’t here, I promise you. He’s nowhere near you, you’re safe. I really, really need you to hear me and lower the gun.” 

He stayed still as a statue, going for option A, figuring any sudden move could prompt the deadly result of her finger squeezing upon the trigger, and his brains splattering across the bedroom wall. Much to his understandable relief, her eyes focused, Emma blinking rapidly, gasping suddenly. 

“Shit!” she whispered, lowering the gun and turning the safety on, placing it on the floor with a soft clunk. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what... I... shit!”  

He breathed a sigh of relief, the tightness his insides had coiled into all relaxing, yet his face remained set. “Come on.” He stood, reaching for her hand, leading her from the bedroom into the lounge. “Sit.”  

Her heart somersaulted with nerves as she took a seat on the couch, drawing her knees up and pulling the t shirt she had on over them, making herself small, reading his emotions. He was not happy. Not in the slightest. He went to go pull on a pair of sweats before joining her, placing a bottle of tequila and two glasses upon the coffee table. Pouring out two large measures, he sunk his quickly, his jaw tightening.  

“I’ve been real patient with you over what it is that causes these episodes, Emma. What just happened kinda changes that, though.” 

Her eyes flitted to him, curling up tighter, beginning to tremble. “You’re mad, and I’m so sorry. Please, please don’t be mad.” 

Picking up the glass he’d poured for her, he thrust it in her direction. “Drink that and calm down.” She did as instructed, uncoiling herself, knocking it back in one gulp, setting the glass upon the table again.  

He refiled it, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m mad at you, but that’s all that’ll happen. I’m not gonna slug you, and I won’t shout. I’m not about to do whatever the fuck it was that Rocco did to you. PTSD, trauma or whatever, you just gotta understand that sometimes people get mad, but that’s all that’ll happen. And I am, because you pointed a fucking loaded gun at me, and you won’t tell me whatever the fuck it is that’s dark within you causing this.  

He paused there, softening his tone. “So yeah, you’re gonna sit here and drink as much of that tequila as you need to until you damned tell me what’s up. I’m trying to help you, Emma, I ain’t trying to get shot. I can’t help you until you help yourself. You say I’m your safe person, so trust me enough to tell me.” 

He panicked for a second that his mildly, yet firmly delivered outburst was too much, watching her carefully. She slid to the edge of the couch, reaching for the tequila and sinking it in one gulp, pouring herself another from the bottle.  

She’d crossed a line, even though she hadn’t meant to and she knew, she knew now it was time to tell him what she’d fled from. He’d be the first person ever outside of her situation to hear what had happened to her. Her bravery in giving herself the push to kiss him now had to extend further, filling all the gaps in her story to him.  

Turning to him, she blinked rapidly, swallowing hard. “It’s going to take me a while to explain it all.”  

His shrug was soft, holding his hands up expressively. “We got all night, blue eyes.”  

With the tequila poured down her throat, another splashed into the glass, Guero’s too after he sank his, she took a deep breath. “When I was ten years old, my family and I went on vacation to New York. I remember how busy it was, how the streets were so full of people. My dad carried me on his shoulders a lot of the time just so I could see above everyone, my mom carrying my little brother. One afternoon, though, Dylan wanted to go up on his shoulders, so I walked with mom instead, and we went down to where you queue up to go over to Liberty Island. 

“It was rammed with tourists, I remember. Dylan had started to fuss, screaming that he needed to go take a pee, so my mom was trying to sort him and dad was at a merchandise stand, so I went with her to go find a restroom. It was in the crush of people that suddenly, a guy grabbed me. I tried to scream for her, but he put a rag over my face with something on it. I remember picking out the pink baseball jacket she was wearing and thinking if I could just fight him off and get away, I didn’t have to run far to get back to her. Then I saw that jacket multiply, my vision going treble, and I don’t remember anything after that until I woke up again.  

“I was at this house, this fucking beautiful, palatial home, all Italian marble and huge renaissance style paintings, high ceilings and columns. It was decadent without being gaudy. This is where the first of one of my many blank spaces in memory comes in, I think there’ve been a few times over the years I blanked things off in order to deal with what happened to me, because I don’t remember clearly what was said to me, or how I responded other than being told that I lived there now. Like, I can’t remember exactly how it was explained, but I remember it was Rocco who did.  

“I remember being upset in the days that followed and crying for my mom and dad. He told me that they wanted me to have a nicer life, and that they’d given me to him for that to happen. “Just look around, kid. Ain’t this a nice place?” That’s one thing I do remember clearly. He kept me down in a basement bedroom, though, locked me in there every night. He was nice to me to begin with. He’d give me little jobs to do and reward me with candy if I did them well.  

“I now know what he was doing. That was the start of him conditioning me, rewarding good behaviour, and in those first few weeks, I was always faultless and tried hard. I thought I had to, to earn the better life my parents apparently wanted for me, even though I missed them terribly and really wanted to go home. I was heartbroken, thinking they didn’t want me any longer. 

“I know what I was now, me being there within his home specifically. I was the blueprint, the test subject, to see how easily it could be done, a child snatched, destined for a life of servitude, or worse. No other kids came into the house, but as time went on, I learned that I was the first of many children taken by the mafia and sold. But anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. 

“It was just me and him for the first few days. His wife had been away with her girlfriends on a trip someplace when I first got there, but when she found out what he’d done, she went wild. I remember that, because despite how intimidating he was, Marie always fought her corner. 

“I remember her screaming at him, something along the lines of me being the kid off the news who went missing, that there was a manhunt going on and her demanding to know why he was behind taking me. I have a vague recollection of him slapping her and shouting, and it being so jarring, because he’d been nice to me and it was such a difference in demeanour.  

“It was shocking, seeing him hit her, this nice lady who he was supposed to love. It really confused me, and I remember wondering if I really was there because my parents wanted me to be, or if what she’d said was right and people were looking for me. I needed answers, I was scared and confused, and on that first night she was home, Marie gave them to me. 

“She snuck down to my room and sat on my bed. She told me that she really wanted to look after me, but that her husband could be not so nice sometimes, and it was easier to do what he said. She was so kind and caring, she made me feel like I had somebody on my side. That night was the first time I saw it, the fear in her eyes, and I knew that one day I’d probably be that frightened of him, too.”  

She paused then, her eyes misting as she remembered back to that night... 

“I can’t get you back to your parents, but maybe I can be your mommy?” She held out her little finger, Emma linking hers through it, the coolness of her diamonds pressing against her little hand, Marie’s eyes full of earnest warmth. “Pinky swear, Emsy. We can’t tell nobody though; Rocco can’t know, or I’ll be in just as much trouble as you.”  

“Emsy. She always called me that, and it sounded so lovely in her broad, New Jersey accent. Her voice was shrill and loud sometimes, but she was so kind and soft. I don’t know why she ended up with him. She went to Wellesley; she had a decent education and could have been anything. She worked in fashion before she got married, was a buyer for Bloomingdales and then later Donna Karan. She travelled all over the world, a real highflyer.  

“Anybody could tell she was well-educated; she always spoke so properly. She was smart, she was a real catch. Marrying him to be a housewife, though? I always wondered why she’d do that, make herself small when she was so much better than him. It wasn’t until I was older that I began to see how much he’d worked the same kind of manipulation upon her, too. She was terrified of him.  

“But anyway, because of that for most of the time she’d just tell me to do as I was told, and in front of him she’d be indifferent towards me. She’d tell me to be a good girl and do my chores, act like a robot. That’s how he liked us to be, totally compliant. Then late at night, when he was out doing whatever illicit business he had, she’d sneak to come and see me and be soft and warm again.  

“She’d bring me up to her bedroom and we’d watch television together if she knew he wasn’t coming home. We’d eat chips in our matching pyjamas, and she’d cuddle me tight and blow raspberries on my tummy to make me laugh, telling me she loved me all the world and always would.  

“It was about six months after I arrived that he tried to take me from the house, and Marie put her foot down hard,” she continued, remembering it, the screaming match, Marie shielding her. It replayed vividly in her mind’s eye as she recalled it... 

“You won’t take her, you won’t!” she screamed, pushing Emma behind her. “If you won’t let her go back to her parents then I am not letting you sell her, Rocco! No. She stays here with us, with me! This is a child, these are children you’re snatching from their families, and for what? What? We have enough money! You don’t need to traffic kids, mother of god, it’s beyond a sin! God strike you in shame for what you’re doing!”  

“Of course, he beat her for it. Badly,” she continued to explain, remembering how Marie had slumped to the floor, her face bleeding, her own screams filling the vast welcome hall in horror as he’d laid kicks to her body. “He left soon after, and I remember fetching a washcloth and trying to help her, she was bleeding so heavily. She was more worried about me. We both sat on the marble floor crying, with her saying she’d pack our things and we’d escape while he was out.  

“She tried, but since I didn’t have a passport, we had to try and get across the country via greyhound, and his guys found us at the station and dragged us back. He said if she ever tried again, he’d kill us both. It was no idle threat, either. He’s made people disappear for less.”  

“He got her pregnant with their first child just after that, making it impossible for her to escape him. He had her watched everywhere she went. Marie was just as much of a prisoner within that house as I was. After she gave birth to Joey, she couldn’t focus on looking after me quite as much. It wasn’t like she ignored me, but it became tough for her. I took on the extra load of work around the house to help her since she had her hands full with the baby, but if I ever slipped, god, he’d make me regret it.  

“When I was little, it was just spankings, but the bigger I got, the worse my punishments became. I’d get full on, bloodied beatings. He fractured my cheekbone when I was thirteen. I didn’t go to hospital, instead I saw a mafia doctor. He had no choice when my face swelled up to the size of a grapefruit. 

“He continued to become worse, too, with what he expected of me. After Marie gave birth to their second child, she came down with post-natal depression really badly, and she wouldn’t let him anywhere near her sexually. That’s when he turned his eye to me. I was fourteen.”  

If he hadn’t felt his anger bubbling steadily enough as it was throughout her explanation, that revelation in particular made a flame of rage flare within Guero. He stayed where he was, but his hand moved firstly to pick up the tequila and sink it, reaching tentatively into her space, Emma grasping his fingers tightly as she began to sniff. “He said if I was good for him in bed, then he’d reward me, so I was, and he did. He bought me this Chanel rosary style necklace, one that Marie had and I always admired. Like gifts made my lack of real consent all okay. I felt sick when I wore it. 

“I hated it, what he inflicted upon me. Every single time I had him on top of me, I’d run to throw up after and scrub myself down in the shower. He made me feel so unclean. I felt like I was betraying Marie, too, having sex with her husband. Of course, after so long without my family by that point, she truly was mom to me. It messed my head up, the implications of that. If she was mom, then by default wasn’t he dad? And yeah. ‘Dad’ was routinely raping me. 

“It broke her heart when I told her what he’d been doing. I waited until about eight months after it had begun, when she was better, because I knew she wouldn’t be able to handle it with how depressed she was after Alessia was born. I remember sitting on her bed with her, and she hugged me so hard, told me over and over how sorry she was. I hated it, hated how upset it made her, and I hated that in the end, I didn’t protest it, him coming down to my room to have sex with me a couple of times a week. If I didn’t fight it, he was nicer to me.  

“He started to become more lenient about my freedom when I got to seventeen. All those years I’d been hidden away from anyone other than the family - and by that I mean the crime family - I’d never left the house, I guess because of him knowing I might be recognised. Once I was older, I not only looked different, but he could explain my presence in the home.  

“He told people I was the live-in nanny and nobody ever questioned it. He also told people that I was going to college out there too, despite me never actually finishing my education formally. Everything I know and learned came from Marie, she gave me little classes when he was out, so that I wouldn’t fall behind on learning everything a child needs to know, spelling, English, math, health, all of that.  

“She might have been a trophy wife who loved shopping and luxury on the surface, but like I said, she was smart. She encouraged me to read and read, every book I could, keep on learning. They had a huge library I used to like to go sit in, and I was allowed more time there the older I grew. Oh, god, if I ever spoke with anything even resembling a Jersey twang to my accent, too, she’d correct me. She always said it was important I keep the way I spoke, the only identity he couldn’t take away from me. “You must retain your individuality, Emsy.” That’s what she always said to me. 

“But yeah, the older I got, the more freedom I was allowed. It still wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing. I could leave the house, I’d go with Marie to pick up the kids from school or take Alessia to dance class and Joey to little league, especially when Marie got pregnant with Mikey, their third child.  

“It crossed my mind so much, to just take a car and make a run for it, fill up with as much gas as I could afford and drive out of there, but he’d find me. I mean, I can’t even drive but still, I’d have tried. Automatics don’t look tough to learn. It would have been my only option since I don’t have a passport. On paper, I don’t exist as an adult under my real identity, being a missing person.  

“He always warned me against doing anything stupid, though. “I got eyes everywhere, kid. You’d be gone an hour before I dragged you back and made you sorry, I promise you. Remember when you and Marie tried before? It’d be worse for you than it was then, if I don’t decide to make you disappear for it. Don’t even think about going to the cops either, police are on my payroll.” He was right, of course. It’s how he gets away with it. He spends millions in bribe money to keep everything he wants within his grasp. 

“I might’ve had a modicum of freedom, but it was always at the end of a very long, invisible leash. With that little bit of freedom though came the requirements to earn it. He began coming down on me heavily if things weren’t exactly to his liking, and his punishments got worse. He’d beaten me, kicked me, punched me, throttled me and even pushed me down the stairs a few times in the past. One of the worst was when I actually had the courage to stand up to him, when he started yelling at me about the floor not being spotless.  

“I told him it would be if he simply removed his shoes, because he’d tracked the dirt in and that I’d clean it as soon as I’d finished cooking. I was sitting waiting for the pasta to cook, and he kicked me in the sternum out of my chair, straddled my chest and pushed a gun into my mouth. “You ever smart mouth me again, and I’ll blow your fucking head off!” I remember him snarling at me. I didn’t think it could get much worse, but then he began burning me with knives.  

“He’d heat them up while holding me down by my neck in the kitchen, then make me pull up my top and press the metal against my sides and lower back. I look hideous under my clothes because of them all. It hurt, it hurt so fucking badly, and I’d beg and plead with him not to do it, just to hit me instead. He enjoyed it, though. He gets off on it, other people’s pain and fear.  

“So, July just gone I turned twenty-nine, and Marie and I had secret cake like we always did. I could barely believe I’d been there that long, nineteen years. Nineteen years of clandestine birthdays, little gifts sneaked to me at Christmas, anything she could do to make it better for me. She always used to say that she felt tremendous guilt that she couldn’t stop him doing what he was doing to other kids, but at least she could make my life a bit more comfortable. Until something happened that she couldn't. 

“Two months after that, he got me pregnant. I wanted to keep it, figuring it would be my only chance to be a mother since he was never going to let me go. He marched me to a clinic, though, and made me have a termination.” Her long explanation halted, sinking a tequila, chewing her thumb as her grip tightened on Guero’s hand. “It was horrible. They couldn’t give me a medical abortion as it was about two weeks too far along, so I had to go through the hell of the alternative.  

“I’ve never felt more alone than I did lying on that fucking examination bed, having my baby ripped from me. I hated him more than ever for putting me through that, and that’s when I knew I had to find a way to escape him. I had to be smart about it, find a way to vanish without a trace, and the perfect chance presented itself a few months after that. Down in the basement of the house, he keeps a huge, hidden vault below the floor. It’s where he’d have your money taken from, save leaving it at any of his businesses, since he’s under federal scrutiny.  

“I’m the one who used to count it all up and get it put into the crate, ready for his guys to collect and then drive to the port in New York and load it onto the container. I knew that was my chance, so one day when they’d come to collect, I told them that I’d hurt my back and couldn’t carry the crate up as usual, made them go down into the basement to get it.  

The night before, I’d hidden my backpack out in the bushes that bordered the drive, and also adjusted the CCTV cameras so they were all just out of shot of where the van would park. I planned well, because it was my only chance, and I couldn’t fuck it up. Mother Mary, how I couldn’t fuck it up. Rocco was out, of course, and Marie had gone to the market, so it was just me in the house. As soon as they’d gone in, I scooted around to the van out of the path of what I knew the camera reach was since I’d moved them, grabbed my rucksack and hid away in the back.” 

“I felt so much guilt for leaving Marie without an explanation, but she couldn’t have come with me, us and the three kids in there, we’d have never survived. I’m surprised I had enough oxygen to last the journey, to be honest. Plus, it would have been harder not to be noticed, five people fleeing opposed to just one. 

“When the van got to the port, I snuck out and hid before they could see me, and watched which container they carried the crate to before running down there and getting inside. I knew I’d end up in California, but I didn’t really have a plan beyond that, probably because part of me didn’t think I’d ever be able to pull it off.  

“For the entire journey, I had nineteen years of trauma playing out in my head, lying in there in the pitch black. It really fucked with my head, not to see daylight for so long, and just have it all replaying, everything I’d been through. It’s why I was so bent out of shape, it all just collided in me, and I finally processed everything that had happened, felt it all, everything I’d stuffed down in order to survive his abuse. After twenty-three days at sea, the ship ported, the container got looted, and then there you were. My safe person, at last.” 

She hadn’t looked at him once in her entire explanation, Emma picking up the tequila and taking a big gulp, wincing slightly. When she turned to him, she saw his face wet with tear trails, Guero moving to seat himself close to her, his hand cupping her face as he rested his forehead to hers.  

Any anger he felt at her holding a gun to his head had faded long ago, the unpleasant twisting within his guts at what he’d heard forcing it out like an exorcised spirit. It wasn’t about him. It never would be. God, she was so strong, so brave to have survived this. It was little wonder she’d fallen apart while within the container, nineteen years of the trauma stemming from captivity finally washing over her, like the waves beneath the vessel that had spirited her away to freedom.  

“I don’t fucking know what the fuck to say.” He truly didn’t either. Everything he’d just heard had shocked him right to his bones. What in the hell could he say, after hearing of her being a kidnap victim, only saved from being trafficked by Marie Lombardi, a prisoner within the tight hold of an iron fist for most of her life? “I’m so, so fucking sorry that happened to you. I don’t know what else to say, other than I wanna go empty my gun in his fucking skull.” 

He’d taken her life from her, all those years she should have been focusing on school, college, making friends, having boyfriends, everything normal for a child, and then a young woman to enjoy. Worst of all, he’d taken her baby from her, before it was even a baby at all. No wonder she was the way she was. 

To say his heart broke for her would have been an understatement.  

“You don’t have to say anything else,” she whispered, nuzzling his cheek softly as he pulled her onto her lap, his strong arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace. “Just sitting and listening to it all was enough.” She sighed, tucking her head beneath his chin as he lay back on the couch, taking her with him. “I’m so glad you found me.” 

He stroked her hair, kissing her forehead. “I’m so glad I found you, too.” Sharing silence, it suddenly hit him, why she’d reacted with such horror at the very thought of placing a bird into a cage. 

Caged was exactly how she’d lived for the past two decades. 

He took a breath, his brow creasing as he let the fury he’d felt bubbling within him boil up, his slow exhale gravelled on a soft growl. “King of the mafia or not, I’d shoot him in the fucking face before he ever came near you again.” 

She believed he would, too.  

[bamgyw]

i’m so sorry for this rant in advance😭. for a little backstory i’m 20 and i’ve been with my boyfriend since i was 15. he is pretty much perfect. he is supportive of my passions, he is understanding, he is sweet, and we have sooo much in common. lately ive been feeling extra lost and down due to (most likely) going off of anti depressants that i have also been on for 5 years. i feel very confused about who i am and also have been disassociating which is something ive never experienced before. ugh im so sorry this is getting so deep😭. i really do love him but im just so confused on if i’m IN love with him anymore. i mean we try to be intimate but the past few years due to body changes and stuff it’s really hard for me to find pleasure in it. when i read fictional things i definitely enjoy that (thanks father rey🫡) but it’s so hard when it’s actually real life. in the past i’ve also become like infatuated or had “crushes” on other people during our relationship but obviously of course never acted EVER on these feelings. when i would look things up people would say these things are normal so i would try not to dwell on it. but right now there is nobody that i have feelings for (at least that’s real or someone i know) yet i still feel distant from my boyfriend. our lives are so intertwined in literally every aspect and we have so many memories together. i can’t possibly imagine my life without him and it scares me thinking of a future where he isn’t the one that i’m with. life would be so different than what it has been and he is my best friend as well. the thought of us not being together devastates me. even with all of these things i can’t help but imagine my life sometimes if i were to be with other people or just be single and move some where across the world and live all of these unrealistic dreams that i have. sometimes i feel like i’m settling. not because he isn’t good enough but because it’s the exact opposite. he is too good and deserves all the love in the world. i want to be in love with him so badly. i just don’t know if i am anymore. like are these fleeting feelings that will go away or is this just my mental illness speaking?? i don’t know anything anymore. all that i know if that I actually just don’t know anything at all anymore. everything hurts so much. being an infp on top of this makes it so much worse😩. i’m not even expecting you to know an answer to this of course but i haven’t even told anyone in my life the way i’ve been feeling. i’m scared that if i say it out loud things will change. i just hurt so much every single day and this has been going on for over a month now. somehow it feels like an eternity though. thank you for taking the time to even read or respond to this😭❤️

well first off, breathe and take this virtual kiss on your forehead. mwah. this is painfully complex, which makes it very human, too. and that is good. it means we're alive and functioning. i promise that all this hurt won't last forever. it never does. we got this !!

i'm sorry for taking so long to reply to you :(, i wanted my thoughts to be somewhat meditated so i could make sense and be as helpful as humanly possible.

also, please don't apologise. you all keep apologising when you think you're bothering me or annoying me or sending asks too long WHICH IS NEVER TRUE so yeah, there's none of that in reyville. we're all really cool no matter what.

and if only the act of sharing this has been useful in the slightest, even just for the relief value of venting, then it was more than worth it and i'm really glad you did !!

first thing is the going off meds. antidepressants are bitch. i don't know which ones you were taking specifically, but usually what they do is numb you out instead of taking away your pain, right? they don't make you feel less shitty, just limit your ability to feel at all. which is fucked up, because the day you stop taking them all the pain comes to you at once. and you don't know what to do with yourself and you feel miserable and you don't even know why.

so. i'm no one and i know nothing. still. i am your friend from the internet, which is a sacred bestie bond, so i'm gonna try to be as honest as i possibly can.

but ultimately you're the person who knows yourself the best (you're literally you), so the wisest and most valuable opinion is always your own, which is fucking scary because freedom is a prison. but you're cool and i trust you, so.

so (and again, i'm not a psychiatrist i'm a rando on the internet), i think you're right when you say that going off the meds might be a reason why you're in so much pain. you need to be patient and allow your brain some time to balance the chemicals and get used to working on its own.

but beyond that, you're feeling shitty and lost, which absolutely fucking sucks. your pain is here and widespread and tangible and so we need to cope with that now !!

when you talk about that inability to feel pleasure, again, mental illness is literally crippling. so you shouldn't press yourself about not being able to enjoy getting intimate with your boyfriend. just take your time and get comfortable with yourself first.

and don't get the concepts of love and attraction confused !! you struggling a little to get turned on does absolutely not mean that you love him any less. asexual people exist, and they date and get married !!

love comes in so many different ways, even within one person. so don't be scared because things aren't as they used to. even if you were feeling great emotionally, things like this happen all the time and it's alright !! your libido might not always be on the high, and so what? and with all that's going on inside your head, it's understandable that you can't enjoy getting intimate.

i feel like i can't advise you to tell your boyfriend about this because i don't really know him and i don't know how he would react. but you do know him !! so if you trust him and you think it's safe, in time and whenever you're comfortable, talk to him. your mental health is your right and duty, but this involves him as well, so maybe he deserves to know. (and he definitely will be able to help you. more than me, at least).

the precise point of it being not real is that there is no risk, nothing to lose. you're allowed to be at your most open and comfortable. that's why fic writing is often brought up in conversations about feminist sexual liberation, because in real life there are little to none safe spaces for girls. so they, we (assuming that you share this experience) wouldn't get a chance to explore our sexuality were it not for fiction. (i rambled i'm sorry).

still, i don't think your libido is entirely broken? you mentioned only getting turned on by fiction, but that's literally so common. if it weren't, the idol industry would totally crumble.

it's pretty simple, in fiction there's no danger to the relationship, no actual commitment and no threat of failure. it's not real, it has no effect in your life. so all those worries that clog up your brain in real life and that paralyse you—do i still love him, do i love him like he deserves, what would i do without him— those ugly but very necessary parts of a relationship are just gone.

that's the beauty of literature of any genre, it's a chance to try and fail without real consequences. an exploration.

but it can also be a great source of dissatisfaction, when real life feels dull and not enough. there's a beauty to that dullness too, though sometimes it is a little harder to see. that's where the deep bond with your boyfriend comes to play.

there's the line (this is stupid, sorry, it just reminded me of it) in the intro to the new ariana grande album. "how can i tell if i'm in the right relationship? aren't you really supposed to know that shit? feel it in your bones and own that shit?"

you mentioned he's your best friend, and i think that's so cherishable. personally, i value having someone to share life with so much, (i'm terrified of being alone, and now i'm supposed to insert some lame joke to make it goofy) but i also understand that great fear of not being satisfied in that kind of traditional, unbreakable concept of relationship.

i think fear of commitment is so much deeper than people usually make it out to be. he's perfect, but is he perfect for me? no one is ever gonna make me feel this safe and loved, but also, why does it feel like it's not enough? it fucking sucks.

but there's so many external things that can be triggering all those thoughts. things neither you nor your boyfriend can control.

there's the antidepressants. there's the fact that you've been with your boyfriend since you were fifteen?? that's so fucking young, you were babies !! you don't know how to live a life without your boyfriend because you practically never have. there's the combination of everything that just results in that anxiety storm which might also be causing you to wanna run away and live a completely different life !!

whatever you do, just remember that there's no such thing as a bad choice. you have a right to be curious and want to explore other ways of life, and you also have a right to look for stability with your boyfriend. they're both scary, and there's a lot of pondering to do. but i believe in you !!

your boyfriend is so important, and he deserves all the best. but the best is almost never pretending that everything's going fine so that he doesn't get upset. loving him like he deserves might mean talking to him earnestly about everything you're feeling, or even a sincere break up.

and please don't take this as me encouraging you to break up with him. only you know if that's the right choice. i just want you to walk without guilt into whatever path you think it's the right one.

as you think about all this, love yourself a lot. that'll make everything easier. (cliché but true) you need integrity and a lot of self-respect to make the best possible decisions, for you and for everyone you love.

please try to not get anxious. to keep your head a little cold and your heart calm. if not, your fears will turn into these irrational bloodthirsty monsters and every decision will feel like it's life or death. it's not, it's gonna be okay.

talk to yourself as you would talk to dear friend, be supportive of yourself. sometimes it even helps to put yourself in a third person pov and think about your problems as if they were happening to a character !! (again, the holy power of story).

and don't hesitate to send in as many asks as you need and talk to me about anything !!

i hope i didn't make too many stupid points during this long ass speech, and i hope i didn't tell you too many things you already knew. i really want you to feel better, and i trust that you will.

be strong !! a hundred thousand kisses.

[ohraicodoll]

Hi Babes!

I hope everything is going great with your new business and with yourself overall!! ♥️

I wanted to tell you that your Joel X Feral Reader series has a literal CHOKEHOLD ON MEE 😆

The way you write Joel, Ellie, Reader, and all of the other characters is SUCH a breath of fresh air.

I read A LOT of Joel fanfiction. (am i allowed to say that? 😭😆)

But your writing hooked me from the very beginning of the series, to the point where if I fic that resembles the way you write even the slightest, it prompts me to reread your entire series. 🤦🏽‍♀️💋

The slowburn, the fact that they don’t label what they are but they both know DAMN well it’s something other than fuck buddies, and the character development is just UGHHH 🤭

I know it may sound redundant or repetitive but it really is just that. Sometimes I’ll reread your stories multiple times to really capture the emotion or the characterization in your writing. Your world building and the development of each character along with them having their own personal world—literally wouldn’t choose anything over your writing and storytelling.

All this to say, your writing has really captured me. And whether you continue writing on here for the next couple years or stop completely, I want you to know that your writing has a special place in my heart. (and my brain because i cant stop making head cannons of feral reader and joel 😫)

Sorry for the rant!!!

Stay safe babes and PLEASE SHOW MORE OF UR ART ITS SO 😫💋

-💋💋💋xoxo

Oh my gosh I’m crying 😭 you’re so incredibly sweet and I’m just so thankful people like my stories and my writing 🖤 I felt for a long time like my stuff just wasn’t good since it just hardly got feedback and everything so hearing everyone’s responses have been so soothing to me!

So my last day at my day job was this Monday so I am officially a full time artist/creative director! I’m so stressed 😂🥹 But I got to hire 12 local artists for our new business yesterday and today we ripped up carpet and are scraping glue. Its so odd and nice to have more of my own schedule but there’s so much work to do. I’m hoping soon I’ll be able to balance it so I can have time to myself and can actually write and draw!

Soon I hope! I miss doing both and it’s how I recharge 🖤 Thank you all for being patient with me and know I haven’t abandoned any of my stuff, it’s just in hibernation!

[thevampsworld96]

I was A Fool To You My Darling

Hey, everyone. I hope you are all doing well today. I hope you had a great day and enjoyed the weather. Here is another fic thar I have been working for a few weeks. I was happy with it, so I had to rewrite it a few times in order to actually feel happy and proud of my writing. I hope you enjoy this. I enjoyed writing it.

It is a bit of a long one, so please take your time to read it. I am happy with it.

Warning some cursing and mentioning sex

There may be some spelling mistakes and also some grammar too but overall, I just hope you all enjoy it, and I am open to any questions. Thank you, and take care. Happy reading.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Things just were not going the way he wanted recently. Everything he does has been going wrong no matter how hard he tried. Brad was always relaxed the most charming and caring and always the most person ever but today just wasn't his day as he was frustrated and had Hatred towards the whole world but what was the actual reason behind it all? That was a mystery.

For the past couple of days, your cosy calm flat was flooded with panic. You decided to keep your distance as you and Brad have arguing over the slightest thing.

You hated arguing with him it wasn't your intention to start a row with him it upset you deeply so you decided to keep your distance from him giving some space but during that time you just wanted to be there for him and him only.

You weren't really the type of person to hold grudges against the people who you care about the most life was just too short foe that. Forgive and forgive was what you truly believed in but Brad had different ideas.

The amount time you have tried to move on from all the pointless arguments but you were to see hoe stressed he really was just by one look you would know he isn't in the most brightest of moods you saw the anger in his eyes and he needed was just some time to himself and fix the issues between the pair of you.

It was a calm Saturday. You were happy but felt very isolated. Brad was in the in-house studio /office working away. Usually, on weekends, you would spend it together, but Brad was and let him get on with whatever he was doing. You decided once to give him the space that he really needed you giving each other the cold shoulder even though you wanted to let all the anger go as they were pointless.

Going back to the studio working on tour set lists, you thought to yourself that maybe there was a problem, but then again, how would you know that. You always asked yourself why was throwing his anger on you all you wanted is for him to come and open up to you about all his problems and then together solve it as the tram that you once were.

Meanwhile you spent hours making some food which was dinner of course. You set the table for the pair of you and then made your way to the office you knocked, and then you went inside.

"I ain't hungry," He replied back to you. You really wanted to tell him that you made his favourite meal having Hugh hopes it would brighten up his mood and the of course the atmosphere in the flat.

He then got up from the chair and made his way to the kitchen grabbed a clean glass and poured himself a glass of gin and that was enough to inform you that it was another long day busy in the studio but on a Saturday really.

"Brad," you called out as he began to walk back to the office studio.

"I'm really not in the mood to talk right now, I'm sorry got a lot to do so leave me the fuck alone please"

He snapped while slamming the door behind him.

It did upset you in a way that you didn't really talk to him for that it was only a short request notning more. You weren't going to let this pass but then you realised you were now use to eating alone but you were concerned as he wasn't eating at all accasionally he would have a glass of gin and that was all.

After a few moments, he came out again but only to wash the glass. He was silent, mind glued to work, not really paying attention to you. As he was about to go back, you stopped him.

"Don't even think about moving get back here now"

You snapped at him while standing up from your chair.

Brad then turned and gave you a glare in between stunned and turbulated, but part of him found your outbursts appealing in some way it was at least in his mind.

You slammed the glass on the dining table with frustration and anger. You just couldn't take his moods anymore.

"I have had up to here with you coming home angry at god knows what and eaveeytime it is always thrown at me like seriously what the fuck is going on with Bradley everyday its the same thing, tell me what's going on"

You say to him.

"What are you now, my fucking therapist? You know notning alright notning new there as usual"

He shouted back at you.

"I never said that, did I? How am I supposed to know what's going on in that head of yours I'm not a fucking mind reader am I? Seriously get your fucking attached you bustard"

You ended up shouting across the room.

"How many times do I have to say it? To get inside to that thick head of yours or do I have to say In a language that you would understand I don't want to talk about it for fuck sake can you just get off my back why keep on insisting on something fucking hell"

He then smashed the glass onto the floor, shattering glass everywhere, which meant another clean-up job for you.

You were done, though screaming at each other you had more to say to him. The things have been building up inside of you once again, and this time, you couldn't hold it in any longer.

"That's your issue, not mine. Look, I understand you need your own space alright, and I totally understand why you don't talk to me, but love pushing the ones that care about won't help you solve your problems"

You then lowered your tone a bit and spoke to him calmly with tears nearly flooding your eyes.

"Listsn to me, just hear me out. It isn't my fault that the others disagreed with your ideas, or a certain lyric didn't go with a verse or you lost something like the instrument or whatever it isn't my fault so please don't take your anger out on me I'm sick and tired of being people's punch bag"

Your voice broken in to a whisper as you looked into his eyes, which was surrounded with guilt rushing through every inch of his body. But you were not done. You had more to say to him.

"You know what really hurts the most, I'm up most of the night thinking what the fuck have to piss you off? Cause I don't remember if I have dome something then all I got to say is I'm sorry and I mean that"

He stood there silent, thinking about the words that he had spoken. He didn't really know what to say to you, only knowing what you said was the right all of it. He had no right to take his anger out on you why he did, so he didn't even know himself, but it was too little too late.

You had nothing else left to say to him as all he did is just stand there in complete silence. That is when you let out a deep sigh feeling of Hopeless. After you picked up your food, which was half eaten and you walked past him, you were not in the mood anyway, so you were going to come back to it later.

In your head, you had a bunch of emotions rushing through your head. You weren't to be angry or upset or all the above you just didn't know anymore. He kept pushing you away, focusing on his job not so much on your relationship, but his job was the centre of the problem. Communication isn't really your strongest skill, but you always tell yourself that good communication is the key to a good relationship.

It really didn't matter who the relationship was, whether it was your family, or friends, or lover. Communication was needed in every relationship.

You carried on holding back your tears, and you really tried to keep all your emotions in, but they would always find a way out.

You then noticed the mess on the floor. You grabbed a room and started to clean the broken glass that was on the floor.

His plate of food was left on the table it was going cold but you couldn't care less.

As you were cleaning, you felt his eyes following you, and once again, you couldn't really care less as you didn't make any eye contact with him. Even though you wanted to make eye contact with him but you were worried if you started crying in front of him.

After a good 10 minutes, he walked towards you, gently taking away the broom from your hand, letting it fall somewhere in the kitchen.

He gently grabbed your hands and helped you from the floor as you were bending down to clean the broken glass that was scattered on the floor.

He then placed one of his hands on your face, gently turning it towards his direction.

You wanted to deny whatever he had the desire to do, but from the moment his soft hands touched your face, it was hard as you loved the way he touched you.

Your body craved his touch, his hands he pulled you close towards his chest. Your lips were inches away from each other until they eventually touched in to sweet, shy kiss.

He took both of your hands in his and he was silence but you were able to read his body language as his silence signaled you asking for more even though you didn't want to but your brain had other different plans which you didn't listen.

As much as you hated, you have been longing his touch for many days. Your body wanted him more than anything.

A smile was hidden in his face as you signed with passion, lust, and pleasure. You felt so relaxed being back in his grace again.

Once he knew you were relaxed, it gave him the opportunity to fully take advantage of that.

He started by cupping your face in his hands as you went deeper and deeper into the kiss. He pulled you even closer towards his body, not leaving any gaps between your bodies as he gently but sweetly suckdd on your soft lips along with his long gently sliding in fighting your playfully.

Moments after, he pulled away groaning. He then took you by guiding you out of the kitchen to the shared bedroom, which was dark, but you didn't need the light.

"This doesn't change anything. What happened? I'm still pissed off with you"

You whispered as you went back to kissing him again. You pulled close this time, grabbing the collar of his shirt, and you dragged him towards you. He then gently pushed you onto the bed he then joined in his body hovering over yours, kissing every inch of your body that he found available.

"I know you're pissed with me, my love. I know, but please let me make it up to you. "

He repeated as his lips travelled down to your collarbone, leaving sweet kisses along your neck. Your moans were melodies to his ears.

Shortly after he instantly pulled away unbuttoning his shirt throwing it to the other side of the room. You then felt the urge to do the same you removed the top you had on he joined to rip off your bra off of your body again tossing it somewhere in the room.

"You have no idea how much I fucking need you right now my darling"

He said.

He meant every word he needed you more than anything. He needed you under his constantly moaning his begging for more, you both began to thrust in to each other you moaning was all he needed to hear it brought pleasure as you carried on moaning and screaming his name. You breathed heavily.

You were left speechless. No words could describe the amount of pleasure that you received from him. Talking during swx wasn't needed, but it was a different way of communicating between the two of you.

It always made go weal and dripping inside, feeling the wetness within you.

"Babe, you need to go. Please go faster"

It got you weak and dripping wet inside. You moan.

You had gripped his hips while the other hand held tightly on the sheets of now messy bed, but you couldn't care less.

Without saying another word, he smiled and obeyed your command. While he gripped on to the wooden headboard, which formed a huge amount of sounds as it slammed on the walls aggressively.

"Oh fuck me, do you have any idea how great your making feel right now baby girl" He said while he leaned and bit down on your still warm lips.

You smiled at him as you clenched around his body once again. He could tell by looming at you that you were very close and that was when he encountered you.

"Come on, my darling baby, let all your feelings go show me how good making you feel right now. I need to see my love"

He said to you. His words were hypnotising you couldn't deny it and so you as your entire body trembled under his you moaned his name over and over again in a loop but he couldn't complain as he loved it loved it he hearing it coming out of your lips.

You felt his curm filling in to you, and that was your moans have gotten louder. He made you feel so good inside and out. You didn't even want it to end. You missed it dearly, and you received what you have been logging for.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Dayligjt had come shining through the windows of your shared bedroom. Brad was the first person to wake up. He then removed the sleep from his eyes and then turned towards you as he noticed you still fast asleep. You laid down naked next to him deep asleep, bedsheets not covering your body.

He just laid there next to you as you breathed very slowly he gently removed the small strands of hair that covered your face. Your mouth was slightly parted, which made him smile sweetly at you.

He was greatful that he was blessed with the image that was next to him that smile then slowly dropped in a matter of seconds as the memories of the last few weeks replayed in his mind again haunting his fantasy he wanted to forget them as every thought constantly loomed around his mind.

He then made a promise to himself, and that was to make it up to you, a fresh new start not making that mistake again.

While staring at you it made him realise how much of a dick he was, he realised his mistakes that he made he treated you like a bloody punch but you were way more than that you were his life the love of life.

You the who knew him too well, the one he understood him, the one who would always comfort in a moment where there were only rumours.

You were his angel, someone who he worshipped the ground you walked on he definitely had to make it up to you without a second thought, not apologise but to make it up to you.

Still removing some of your baby hairs, which was a mess, but he didn't care, you were always so perfect to him. He then placed his hands on your soft gentle cheeks with his thumbs gently drew imaginary circles calmly bringing you out of your sleep he smiled with a sadness as you started to you yawn leaning in to his sweet soft loving touch.

"I'm a fool to hurt you, my love I'm so sorry I was a fool and I promise from this day on I treat you like the princess you are. I promise my love"

He thought to himself.

"Hmmm," you moaned, not really wanting to wake up well, not just yet, but it wasn't the right time you wanted to sleep some more.

Brad then looked and smiled at you then leaned in to kiss you on yiur forehead, his lips remained there for a few moments.

"Good morning, my sweetheart," He gently whispered. His hands then glided down your back, then pulled you into his body. You remained silent for one reason and that was your brain was still in sleep mode and you were not fully awake yet and another thing you bearly know what to say but he already had the words to say to you.

"There's my gorgeous angel, listen to me, my darling. I'm sorry, alright, I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you. i promise it won't happen again. I promise I'm sorry"

You heard every word loud and clear, while you opened your eyes fully but slowly got used to the light, which came shining in brightening up your room. You then looked at his face, which had notbing but guilt and regret in his twinkling eyes due to the sadness and shame he felt as he hurt you

"Hey baby, it's ok," you whispered

Even though you said it was OK but it's really wasn't but what else could you do you already that you were walking on eggshells with this relationship the amount of time yoh thought about ended it but you always held on to hope thinking it would get better.

"Don't say it's OK because it isn't my darling. I shouldn't of treated you that what idiot takes his anger out on his girlfriend I could of handled the situation better my love but my anger got the better of me it control of me that is not OK in my book"

He had explained but he carried on speaking.

"I shouted at you and said some horrible things to you most importantly my love I hurt you and I will hate myself forever knowing that I did this to you"

He took your hand. In his, he kissed them a few times, which made you blush, but he wasn't dome.

"I want to make a promise to you my darling thar from this day on I promise that I will make it up to you but I only ask for one simple thing do you forgive for the way I have treated you that is all I ask for"

You listened to every word he had said to you, and something told you he truly meant it. It definitely came from his heart. You were sure of that.

You sighed deeply and closed your eyes, unsure what to say back to him. You definitely believed him, but there was one part of you that thought something else.

"I love you so much, more than anything in this fucking world the thought of losing you would kill me and because of me for letting this happen and getting this far I won't ever forgive myself no way in hell"

Now it was your turn to say something to him.

"Oh my love, you're not going to lose me, Brad, but you need to realise what you have been doing to me for weeks has been draining me mentally and physically. I think you forgot that we are a team your problems are my problem. We talk about it, and we help each other out no matter whether we are a team. alwags remember that. I hated being pushed away it hurts it really does"

Brad stood in the position soaking in all you had said to him. He nodded to all you said, now understanding the mistake and regret he had made.

"I know, I know, but like I said to you before, it will not happen again, and I mean it," he said while he left a short kiss on your lips.

"I am aware now that action speaks louder than words, I truly believed that even if I had to spend all my life making it up to you I would that without a fail and I would do it each and every day without a fail you have my word"

You nodded, giving him another promising smile

All the things he just said, you know he meant it, you never doubted. You saw how much he hurt and made promises that he would make it up to you.

You trusted everything that was said and always hoped for everything to go back to normality between the pair of you, from this day on hold on to the words you said.

"Now I just want you promise me something Brad" you said.

"Sure tell me" he said.

"Promie me you won't push me away ever again," you say to him.

You placed your hand on his cheek, your other hand was linked with his not wanting to let go.

He nodded agreeing to all the things you said to him not moving his eyes which was linked with yours.

He smiled at you which made you smile too seeing the light hit his face again after many days of anger and frustration

"I promise you and I know I have already said this but I want you to know how serious I am. I promise you once again with all that I have, I will not and shall not push you away or throw my anger on you, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart"

He leaned in once more pecking your lips this time for a few seconds longer.

"I love you with part of me. I want you to always remember that, " He said to you.

"I know, baby, I love you too," you calmly whispered. You leaned in to kiss his lips.

He pulled you close towards his direction. He had the urge to kiss you once again as last night just wasn't really enough for him. He needed it even more than ever. He pushed the sheets on so he was to position himself and of course you had the the same idea so then you did the same, as your lips brushed across his slowly touching and then your intimate parts touched once more making the pair of you moan in each other pleasure.

The pair of you didn't want to stop as you missed being in this moment. His tongue slided in which then started a war with yours fighting for dominance he truly wanted and needed more than ever now.

You hummed a tune while drawing imaginary patterns on his back gripping on to his skim as he thrusts in to you.you moan constantly as you spreading your legs giving entrance he then carried on gently thrusting in to you.

"You have no idea how good your making me feel my lovely" he said while sucking on your neck and leave love bites along your neck or any place he found free while the lower part of bodies were cringed together.

You fell back, allowing him more space as he carried on kissing every spot he moved to your shoulders, then back to your chest, then back to the neck again. Your legs then wrapped around his body, and he went in deeper.

"Oh god yes I need you go faster" you ordered him, while your nails dug in to his back which honestly didn't bother him he loved it.

His hands then made his way to your lower back, you started to moan even more loudly as you felt him even more deeper than he already was inside you, he kept thrusting admiring how your eyes were closed, head back in the pleasure that he was giving you.

As you were about to call his name, he instantly shut you off, moving up to your lips as he gave you a sloppy kiss.

"Now my love, you know what to do. Just like you used to let it go come on, I know you can do it"

He persuaded you. You in way speeded up his movements more than it already was.

"Oh fuck" you shouted while arching your back as you exploded in the moments of pure love and pleasure. He then came moments after you not really eager to stop or slow down his speed, as he rided you both out of your highs. Which rided the two of you out of your pleasure.

You are now gasping for air, while he couldn't stop smiling at you, which was his after sex impression you loved seeing that it made you so good inside. You realised that you were still weary, you had it shown all over your face that you knew Brad loved seeing you like this it was his most favourite image of you one where would never get tired of seeing.

Hey" he says to you while smiling.

"Hello" you say back smiling also at him.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you" while panting heavily, and the oxygen got back into his and your lungs. He wasn't fussed that he said these words before all he wanted was for you to know that and trust him each time that he said it to you. Of course, you believed him he meant it every word.

"I know you do my kove and I love you baby more than anything in this world"

You both smiled at each other now that the past had been forgotten...

[hotxcheeto]

heyy, here after reading 'bathroom activities'!! I loved it and I would love to read the opposite,,, like ellie getting jealous, not because of the same thing but you know... also reader teasing ellie about it + smut please (fem reader ofc, please make it long cause I love long fics 🙏🏻)

━ 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, smut, afab reader, fingering ( f! receiving ), kissing, slight joking, slight dom kink, jealousy, flirting, make out session, teasing, very dirty remarks, pet names, top!ellie, bottom!reader

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I hope you enjoy!! Ty you sm for the rq! ily very much and I'm glad you liked bathroom activities I know I enjoyed writing it haha!

REBLOGS ARE EXTREMELY APPRECIATED

Ellie was mature, most of the time.

But not when she was jealous.

She continuously huffed like a toddler with her arms crossed and a similar pout on her face. Like now, staring at you who was happily chatting up the man who ran the shop counter. Smiling at you and giving you tips for things around the house that you had brought up in conversation while he took your items.

You came for a few things bringing goods you'd collected on runs as payment and somehow she'd gotten stuck standing there for twenty minutes as the guy tried his shitty attempts at flirting on you.

The lines going right over your head and barely glancing to Ellie thinking you were just talking to a friend not someone she wanted to bury alive.

"No, and Ellie's always complaining about the leaky sink in her bathroom yet we still have yet to figure it out." You giggled, turning to finally meet your girlfriends annoyed stare silently begging you to leave to go back home already. Having been dragged from there in the first place.

"Y/n.." She very quietly said hoping not to seem rude as you've scolded her before today for her childish begs to leave. It wasn't that she didn't want to be around those people or that she didn't like them, Ellie just wasn't an extrovert and prefered her time spent being with just you.

And you understood that about her, it's something that she loved most about you. That despite your motherly words to tell her to not make it so obvious and rude sounding, you'd leave just a few minutes after. Bringing her home to recharge her social battery, or that's how Joel worded it.

She liked it being just you and her. Not with what the fuck's his name not even glancing at her when you gave her your short reply.

"Alright."

It was with a sweet smile and a soft voice. Turning back to your acquaintance who immediately interrupted your goodbye.

"We should really hang out sometime." You stared at him and nodded even though you had no intention of doing so. Moving your hand just the slightest over to hold Ellie's, squeezing her limb and giving her a reassuring thumb rub on the back.

"Yeah. Everyone's going down to the bar tomorrow you should come." It was friendly, nothing even a bit suggestive in your mind but he seemed disappointed by this. Opening his mouth to talk again when Ellie leaned in and rested her hand on your belly, running along it to grab the bag he gave you.

Trying to silently give him a hint without upsetting you.

But you noticed, you always did, giving her a quick side eye before kissing her cheek.

"It was nice seeing you again Tyler."

Tyler, that's what the fuckers name was.

"Wait, are you guys, like, a thing?"

To Ellie is sounded like disgust or disapproval and she wasn't sure what you were thinking, only that you began pushing her towards the door with half your strength, smiling at Tyler.

"Yeah. What'd you think?" He watched almost dumbfounded by her words while you continued walking her to the door. "I–" "I'll see you later Tyler!"

Somehow you successfully got her back onto the street, grabbing her hand as you walked back to your home in a comfortable yet slightly tense silence.

Ellie deciding that her shed was far too lonely for the next few stormy nights and followed you back to your large home surely built for a family. Yet it was all yours.

"He wanted to fuck you." She said walking up the stairs in front of you, quite frustrated while unlocking and pushing open the door. "Ellie."

You groaned and kicked the door shut locking it up behind you and turning back to her with an uninterested stare. Almost like a 'really?'

"I'm serious!" She proclaimed with her hands out and eyes slightly wide. "Ellie, he was being flirty, and I wasn't interested. I've got something much better." You gave her a grin but she still wasn't sold, watching as you stepped close and swung your arms around her neck, faces just a few inches apart.

"What's wrong?" You then asked seriously, breaking her from her very upsetting thoughts of killing Tyler. Gaze snapping back to yours.

"I hate him." You snorted and stood up on your tippy toes to kiss her cheek, smooshing her face in the process. "I love you though." You muttered against her skin, pulling away and moving to walk off into your living room when she gripped your wrist and spun you face first into her chest.

"Ellie!" She laughed, grabbing you tight around the waist. "He totally wanted you." You pulled your face from her chest and looked up at her. "Really?" You questioned her blankly, wanting her jealousy to only subside but then you met her eyes that were blown up and full of want.

"I'm all yours Ells." "I might need to remind you." She said quietly while you gave her a cheeky glance, walking backwards towards the couch that faced away from you both. "Really?" "Yeah, you sure liked talking to him." "Well maybe I thought he was a good friend." "And maybe I think you need to be taken care of."

You giggled, running around the couch and away from her, Ellie right behind you grabbing you up from around your waist. Hearing your laughter echoing throughout the room.

"It's not my fault your jealous!" "Jealous? M'not jealous." She brushed off cornering you and getting you sit back on the couch and look up at her with your knees pulled up to your chest.

"Mm, you're looking a little jealous there Ells."

Her gaze made you feel so small, like a predator overlooking its prey, but her smile made yours stay. Bashfully keeping her stare while blinking at her innocently.

"Especially when he asked me to hang ou– ah!" She grabbed you by your ankles and pulled you forward, spreading your legs to lean down and kiss you. Gripping your face with one and the other resting on your thigh surely tight enough to leave marks to remind you of this moment for a few days to come.

"And then when he asked if we were together..." You whispered against her lips, her hand slipping down to your neck while your fingertips touched her cheeks keeping her there.

"...you should've seen your face."

Her breath was hot as it picked up and her grip got possessive, the hand around your neck just lightly squeezing. Ellie pushing her body towards your while meeting your lips once again hearing a little whine come from your mouth letting out small breaths once she pulled away again.

Your doe eyed gaze staring into her own, Ellie finding the small pout on your lips rather adorable. Running her thumb across them before her hand snaked down to the bottom of your shirt, twirling it around, staring right into your eyes.

"Mind taking this off for me?"

Without another word you reached down gliding over the back of her hand to take off the top. Pulling it over your head with ease and setting it beside you on the cushion with your pink bra now exposed to her.

All the while keeping your head tilted up at her, knowing how much she loved to see your face.

Ellie moving to kiss your forehead, and then your lips and down to your jaw. Reaching behind you to unclip your bra, lightly pulling it down your arms letting her nails tickle your soft skin kissing over your collarbone in the process.

"I bet he thought about doing this." She said, tone running right between your legs but her stance made you unable to squeeze your legs together to get rid of the ache that had began to drive you crazy.

"Ellie..." "I bet he wished he got to touch you."

Ellie loved it, she did. Because she got to interact with you whenever she pleased, she got to cuddle and talk to you every single day, and it made her feel like a kid on Christmas morning, or how she imagined that they'd feel.

She tossed your bra aside to pair with your shirt her hands then falling to the button of your jeans. Not needing to ask permission by the way you stared at her and moved your hips towards her hands. Ripping the pants from your legs and throwing them aside.

Ellie then fell beside you on the couch. Guiding you into her lap and right on top of her thigh with her hands set on your hips, smiling at your bright stare waiting for her direction.

"But your so pretty, I get it. Who wouldn't want to touch you?"

Her hand came up, resting on your chin to lightly place the pad of her thumb on your lips before pushing her thumb right into your mouth forcing your mouth around it.

"Huh?" Something came out of your throat but was incomprehensible making Ellie laugh a bit. Tilting her head at you, silently teasing you.

Sucking the digit keeping your eyes on her own the entirety of the time; your much smaller hands grabbed her arm while your tongue swirled around her.

Her thigh suddenly jerking up causing a muffled moan to pass from your lips, thumb popping back out to smear your spit onto your lips before fully pulling away.

"What do you want?"

You were catching your breath as she asked that, lips plump and pretty when she pulled you in for another kiss.

"You gotta tell me babe."

"I want you to fuck me."

"Oh yeah?"

You nodded a bit flustered with your face hot especially once she began to move you, shifted your body, her hands again guiding you along to a new position.

Keeping your back against her chest and your legs spread nice and wide for her sat up on her knees, aching cunt still covered by your panties that now had wet spot right in the middle.

And it was all for her.

Ellie's middle finger then just barely glides over it before her head appeared beside yours, kissing your bare shoulder then the side of your neck.

"Jesus." Your breath hitched in your throat as the raspy whisper that became beside your face. Fighting the urge to jerk your hips up towards her touch, wishing she'd just give you an ounce more.

Just a drop.

"Please Ellie." You mumbled, lips pushed out and begging eyes when you turned to her. "Please touch me, please..." Your begs were to cute and she knew that fucker wished he could hear them, she knew and she fucking loved it.

"Take 'em off." You hurriedly pushed up to pull your panties down, and drop them to the floor, a little string of slick coming with them. Ellie's little grin and teasing chuckles resting against your skin and ringing in your ears.

Face going hot even though it wasn't visible. You felt so small under her watchful eye and little remarks. You felt so fucking good though.

"Mm, there you go. Just like that." Her fingers soon arrived right at your slit, her middle and ring finger beginning to rub little circles over your clit. "oh.." you whispered, legs moving farther apart without a thought wanting more without saying a word.

"Ellie..." Her fingers began moving just a big faster, her other hand coming to your thigh, pulling you apart as far as you could manage. Little whispers and whimpers spilling from your lips and cutting through the quiet air.

"Please more...." You sounded on the verge of tears when you spoke, but she knew that you couldn't get enough as her fingers slipped inside of you. A much louder noise making her grin like a cartoon character, kissing your cheek proudly.

"Oh fuck..." "Do you think he's still thinking about you?" You didn't say anything back, Ellie moving faster, her other few fingers on the hand that rested against your thigh began to creep its way towards your clit. "Do you think he's wondering what you're doing right now?" "I dunno–" You managed to mutter out.

Staring right at her fingers while the toyed with you. Pushing against the little bud while quickly pushing in and out of your hole creating a wet sound that swallowed up the room.

"How's that feel?" "Goo–Good. Please faster..." And so she went, thrusting in again and again pressing right up against your special spot making your teeth clench and legs shake. A tingly feeling spreading throughout your lower half. "Ellie..."

She never slowed though, creating a skin on skin noise while pumping her hand. Pushing against your foot with just a bit of force to get you to jump.

"You feel so fucking good.." She whispered to you, watching every little reaction you had to her as your head lolled to the side. Your whines and cries like music and it was her favorite song.

But it wasn't Ryans or Lukes or whatever his fucking name was.

She didn't care anymore, the little green monster had finally been defeated and all she could see was you.

Fucking you.

Adding another finger just to get a reaction out of you and continuing her fast pace that o your mind. Hazy and foggy while staring down at her playing with you, making you feel good.

"Oh my God, m'gonna cum El–" "Cum babe, cum on my fingers."

Your mouth was wide, choking over your words and sentences leaving nothing but a jumbled mess to fall out. Body jerking and spasming as you clenched around her long fingers, your head falling far back as her name fell from your lips like a prayer in a horror movie.

Groans coming from your throat, squeezing her wrists.

"Oh fuck–" You yelled, Ellie tracking your every movement with a lovesick smile on her face, making sure you slowly came down. The feeling of her rubbing and touching you slowly helping you ride out your orgasm.

Until it was too much. Pulling her hands away from between your legs, laying all your weight against her, arms moving around your waist to hold you tight.

"Ellie..." She let you bury your face in her neck as you closed up your legs allowing her to hold you close. "I need to make you jealous more often." You then muttered, playing with the collar of her shirt.

"I'm not done." Her mind drifted back to Matt, or was it Kyle?

"Not yet."

"I love you Ellie."

"Yeah, I love you too. Now get on your hands and knees for me, babe."

"Okay."

A/n: I was so drained the past few days

[getsojaded]

you don’t go to parties ii | calum hood

trigger warning — alcohol / substance abuse, please please read at your own risk

a/n: i’m back and better than ever (not rly). it took me a minute to ease back into writing so i hope this is somewhat tolerable. love u guys and hope u all enjoy

—

“i’m sorry i had to call you. i’m well aware you quite literally want nothing to do with us anymore,”

“no no, don’t say that. you guys have did nothing wrong.” she responds, taking a sip from the caramel latte in front of her.

seated in the hearty cafe filled with hard studying students and baristas, there were michael and y/n, sitting in a little booth across from each other.

y/n wasn’t exactly sure why he’d contacted her in the first place. well, obviously she knew why — she just wasn’t sure why they would be talking about him.

but she respected him. and she respected the band members as well. and if there was anything she could do to be of help, she would be there.

and that’s what led them to this more-serious-than-she-thought conversation with michael.

“lemme rephrase, i know you don’t want anything to do with cal anymore,” he begins, earning a chuckle and the slightest nod from her in response. “but i felt that i really needed to tell you this.”

she gestures him to continue, and michael takes a deep breath. “cal… is not cal. i know what you saw, and we all saw it too, but this… is to another extent. it’s getting out of hand and we just,” he sighs. “we don’t really know what to do anymore and we’d really appreciate it if you could help us in some sort of way.”

y/n looks at him worriedly as she puts her drink down. “what do you mean… out of hand?” she asks, just for some clarification (although she’s got a hunch of what he’s talking about.)

“the man’s been drunk almost everyday since you left. there’s been multiple occasions where he’d hosted his own functions but he’s so plastered to the point where we have to stay behind and clean up because he’s too drunk to do it himself. in no way have i called you over to blame this on you, because it’s not your fault. the guys and i, and even our fucking girlfriends, have tried so hard to do everything we can to get him help, but it’s practically no use.”

a brief moment of silence.

“i wouldn’t have contacted you if i knew we didn’t need your help, but fuck y/n. i’m fucking stumped. i have no idea what to do anymore.”

y/n straightens her back, sitting up straight as she tries to process this newly given information to the best of her ability. and it’s fucking hard.

she’s well aware she left for a good reason — there’s no doubt about that. however, she’s never truly stopped caring about calum, and she’s not sure if she ever will. and the moment those words came out of michael’s mouth, she felt scared. scared for him.

she can’t help but feel that the slightest bit of her is at fault — had she not left, maybe calum wouldn’t be as bad as he is now.

but had she stayed, nothing would’ve changed.

“w-what would you like me to do?” she softly asks, looking up at michael’s green eyes filled with frustration and hurt. “as much as i’d like to be, i feel that i won’t be of much help,” y/n admits.

“y/n, i think you’re our last hope,” he responds. “if you could just, maybe talk to him, and knock some sense into him… fuck, i don’t know.” michael abruptly finishes sentence and gets up from the table. “i’m sorry i asked you to meet up, ignore everything that i just said.” and with that, he rushes out of the cafe, with y/n trailing right behind him.

“hey!” y/n lightly grabs his wrist, stopping him from walking any further. “i’ll try and help. i know you’re frustrated. i know all of you guys are. and if me talking to him will take any sort of weight off your shoulders, i’m willing to do it. i want to help.”

michael can’t help but engulf y/n into a hug and the tears he’s been holding in for so long finally start to fall out. “thank you, y/n.” he pulls away, wiping his eyes. “i am just so fucking frustrated. not only are his doings affecting him, it’s affecting everybody around us now. we need to fix it.”

y/n understandably nods, rubbing michael’s back as she walks him to his car.

“i’ll take you back to my place. luke and ash should be there right now too, and we can all talk.”

“no cal, huh?”

“he’s probably already tipsy right now.” michael tells her, causing y/n to look at her watch. 10:59 am.

“jesus christ,” she manages to say, getting into the passengers seat of michael’s car.

—

“missed you, big guy,” y/n smiles as luke walks over her to embrace her in a big hug. “my favourite! it’s always lovely seeing you.”

“can we grab you anything to drink?” ashton asks, making his way towards the kitchen. “actually, don’t answer that. i know you like coke.”

“old habits die hard,” y/n responds, giggling as ashton passes her the can. “i just don’t add henny in it as much anymore.”

“i don’t understand how you did that so fucking often. you were literally more of a heavyweight than luke.” michael reminisces on their group’s younger years, remembering how fucking much y/n drank had to drink before she started feeling the slightest bit buzzed.

“times have definitely changed. don’t think i can drink one without yakking on the floor now,” she responds, the three men she once knew as reckless boys, bursting into a fit of laughter.

“we’ve gotta see you go crazy at least one more time. maybe you and i can run that shotgun contest we had back!” luke exclaims, winking at her, y/n wincing in response. “the thought of that sounds terrible to me. didn’t i beat you too?”

“yeah, that’s why i want a rematch. because i know you’ll lose this time!!”

leaned against the kitchen island, the 3 men and y/n totally forgot why she was even in michael’s house in the first place. so here they were, giggling and catching up, just like how it was before.

well, just a little bit like how it was before. it truly wasn’t before if calum wasn’t there.

they all convinced y/n to take at least one shot before she left today, michael staying sober for the sole reason of driving her home. except, one shot turned into six, and she was now sprawled out on the couch, pointing and laughing at michael’s chandelier.

“why the fuck is it so big?” she asks extremely confused, luke hunched over and clutching his stomach from laughing at everything y/n’s done.

“how are you only six in?” ashton asks in so in slight shock, taking a swig from his beer.

“six plus sixty-three is sixty-nineeee,” she sang, the group looking at her in awe, confusion, and in humour simultaneously.

“alright, i think that’s enough for tonight, y/n bear,” michael gets up from the love seat, assisting y/n in helping her up from the couch and walking with her to the front door. “i’ll take her home now, see you guys later,”

“bye guys!! love you! see you tomorrow!” she exclaims, blowing each boy a kiss.

“tomorrow?” michael hears ashton ask as he closes the front door, chuckling.

“i’m soo tired.” y/n whispers, closing her eyes the second she gets into the passenger seat of michael’s car.

she’s just about to knock out but before that, she vaguely hears michael’s voice with a little bit of anger laced in it, calling out:

“what the fuck are you mad at me for?”

—

as michael’s about to back out of the driveway with an unsober y/n in his passenger seat, his car headlights make eye contact with calum’s car headlights, the brown eyed boy immediately noticing the girl beside michael.

coming to an abrupt stop in the middle of the gate, calum hops out of his car, making his way towards michael’s window. “what is she doing.. there?”

despite the collected look he tried to put on within a matter of seconds, michael knew calum all too well. and he could see right through his facade; he was upset.

“i just ran into her earlier today and invited her to catch up. what are you doing here?” michael fibs ever so slightly.

“just wanted to talk to you and the guys for a sec, but instead you should cut the bullshit. are you guys talking about me? setting up some stupid fucking intervention? last time i checked, this doesn’t involve you, mike. it also doesn’t fucking involve her. she’s the one that left, so she doesn’t need to deal with this anymore. not like she wanted to in the first place.”

michael’s taken aback by calum’s sudden words, feeling angrier and angrier with each sentence that comes out of his mouth. “what the fuck are you so mad at me for? i didn’t say shit! all i said was that we met and caught up,” he raises his voice. “you know, i know she didn’t deal to the same extent of what we’re seeing from you, but she still saw it. she still saw something. and she knows about your habits; she might be out of the picture now, but she’s not stupid. news flash — she fucking cares about you! she always did! it’s not like she left because she didn’t, she left you because she thought that you didn’t care about her. yet here she is, organizing plans to come see us so we can help you.”

calum’s seeing red at the thought of his friends interfering with his life. “did i fucking ask for that? no!”

luke and ashton walk outside to meet the argument, concerned with the raised voices and accentuated curse words. “yo, is everything okay here?”

“just peachy.” michael coldly says to calum, before speeding off, leaving the three other boys standing in the middle of the driveway.

“i thought you guys were my friends,” calum slurs, pointing at luke and ashton. “my fucking brothers. and this is what i have to see? you secretly meeting up with my ex girlfriend behind my back? what’s she gonna do? huh? tell me i’m throwing my life away then leave again? what’s the point of that?”

the harsh tone that leaves calum’s mouth not only takes aback luke and and ashton, but the man himself. even through his clouded judgement, fuzzy memory and slow movements, even calum is well aware of his anger.

“if you just give us a chance to explain —“ ashton slowly responds, reaching for calum’s hand before he smacks it away.

“i don’t want your explanation, just leave me the fuck alone.”

—

part 3 incoming don’t worry

[drewstarkeylover21]

Play Along pt. 2 (Rafe Cameron)

Summary: "Cheers to fucking up shitty ex-boyfriends and my new humble knight in shining armor, Rafe Cameron.”

A/N: omg hi guys I am so sorry i’ve been gone for some time, when i tell you it has been a ROUGH month LMFAO. Anyway I missed writing about fictional Rafe and I also missed giving you guys things to read so here is part 2 of Play Along! 

Warnings: drinking/alcohol related content, swearing, shitty ex-boyfriends (slight mention of verbal and physical abuse), fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff 

PART 1 HERE

MASTERLIST HERE

Hand in hand, a slightly inebriated Rafe and you stumbled into the bar across the street. You sighed in relief as the cool air conditioning met your dewy skin, rolling your eyes at Kayla and Bianca’s suggestive winks at your intertwined fingers. 

“I’ll go ahead and get us started on some drinks, why don’t you lot go ahead and find a table?” Rafe suggested, offering your friends a soft smile.

“Okay, yeah, sounds good,” you nodded in response, dropping your head to hide the blush spreading across your face as he squeezed your hand gently before releasing his grasp. 

“Kayla and I are set on drinks, but Y/n/n could use a tequila shot!” Bianca called, the three of you giggling as you watched Rafe’s retreating figure salute her before approaching the bar. 

“God, what a guy,” Kayla gushed, motioning to an empty table as you made your way behind her, sliding into the hard wooden chair. “He punched Aiden in the face-something I’ve been wanting to do since the first day he made you cry- he buys us drinks, AND he’s easy on the eyes? Dare I say he might be a perfect new boyfriend?” 

“Oh please,” you muttered, running your hands across your face and sighing. “He’s amazing, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t think he’s into me like that. I figure he just felt bad about what happened at that last bar and decided to tag along to save me from any further humiliation. I mean, can you believe me? I told him to pretend to be my boyfriend. My motherfucking boyfriend!!! Who in their right mind comes up with that shit? He must think I’ve got a couple screws loose.” 

“Y/n, hey, no, no, don’t think that about yourself,” Bianca cooed, taking your face into her hands tenderly. “You are an absolute gem. You did what any sensible person would do to get out of a scary situation. It’s not crazy, you were just surviving. And any guy would be lucky to have you, screws loose and all. I think you just need an extra push. Something to really get your foot in the door. Besides, you don’t need to try very hard, the boy is obviously smitten with you.”

You shook your head at this, laughing slightly. 

“Would it help to know that he’s been giving you the googly eyes all night? I saw the way he was looking at you while we were walking over here. For Christ’s sake, he’s literally staring at you right now!” Kayla exclaimed, gesturing over at the boy who had garnered your attention the whole night. 

From across the bar, Rafe was patiently waiting for your drinks to come out, his eyes having never left your figure the minute he dropped your hand and left. The reasonable part of his brain would have chalked it up to a sense of protection, one in which he was on high alert to make sure Aiden didn’t come back and try to pull another grimy move, but deep down, Rafe knew that there was more to his newfound infatuation than the idea of fending off your ex-boyfriend. You were the most interesting thing he could have chosen to look at. There was a reason you had caught his eye so early on in the night, and the second you had laughed at his stupid joke, Rafe was absolutely done for. 

Rafe’s gaze softened as he registered your appearance, the way your mouth upturned at your energetic friends, the dim lighting from the bar pulling a sliver of color from your long hair, the slightest glimmer of sweat reflecting off of your temple. He watched as you blushed at something Kayla had said to you, shaking your head before turning to look at him. Rafe gave you a sheepish wave, feeling embarrassed for having been caught staring at you. He felt like there was a magnetic current pulling him to you; drawing his attention. He couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. Grinning as you waved back shyly, he gestured you over with his hands. 

He watched excitedly as you made your way to him, doing his best to keep his composure. 

“Hello, m’lady,” Rafe greeted with a tip of his head and a jesterly bow. “Care to help me carry these drinks back to our table?”

“It’d be my honor good sir,” you replied, giving a curtsy back, giggling at the rapport between the two of you.

You grasped your glass, naturally falling into step with Rafe. Turning the corner to your booth, a small gasp left your lips, as you found it to be completely empty of any trace of your friends. You looked at Rafe quizzically as he shrugged in confusion. 

Whipping out your phone, your eyes fell on 2 new texts in your shared group-chat with the girls. 

Bibi Baby: Decided to go home. Too much sexual tension in the air. We love you, call us if you need anything. GET YOURS SIS <3 </i>

Every Kiss Begins with KAY <3</b>: I’m telling you. NEW BOYFRIEND! Can’t do anything with us around though. Stay safe, we love you. 

Looking back up at Rafe, you rolled your eyes jokingly, waving your phone around in the air. 

“Looks like we have been abandoned,” you sighed dramatically, “The girls decided to go home. I didn’t realize how late it was getting. If you’re tired or anything, we can just finish off these drinks and I’ll order us both Ubers.”

“NO!” Rafe exclaimed quickly. 

You jumped at his outburst, raising your eyebrow at him with skepticism.

“Sorry, I just uh, well I mean, I don’t want you to go,” he admitted with a stutter, batting his long brown eyelashes at you. “I’m not in any rush if you aren’t.”

“I guess your company isn’t too half bad,” you winked at him. “Plus, I owe you for everything that happened at that last bar,” you concluded, sliding into the booth.

“Like I said earlier Y/n, he deserved everything that came to him. You’re pretty special. I would do anything you asked me to do,” Rafe said as he mirrored your movements on the opposite side of the table. 

You blushed again, ignoring the way your heart felt like it was growing 3 times it size in your chest. Raising your glass up to toast his, you cheered, “Well in that case, cheers to fucking up shitty ex-boyfriends and my new humble knight in shining armor, Rafe Cameron.” 

“Cheers!” Rafe roared, clinking your drinks together as the two of you tipped your heads back, downing your liquor quickly before shoving limes in between your lips to rid yourself of the burning sensation. The two of you shuddered at the taste of the cheap tequila, laughing at each other’s obvious reactions to the alcohol. 

The two of you laughed some more and talked some more, basking in each other’s presence like there was no tomorrow. The happy glow that you were radiating could have rivaled the glow of the sun. You’d never felt more connected to a single individual in your life, which is how you’d found yourself stumbling out of the bar and strolling along the quiet streets. Hand in hand with Rafe, the two of you enjoyed the warm night weather and its quiet ambience in a comfortable silence, each other’s presence more than enough to keep you both satisfied. 

Suddenly, you felt your body come to a halt as Rafe had abruptly stopped moving alongside you, your intertwined fingers straining against his as he gently tugged you backwards. 

“Dance with me,” Rafe said boldly. 

“What the fuck?” you gasped. “Right here?!”

Rafe said nothing, and instead, carefully grasped your wrist and pulled you into the middle of the empty road. 

“Right here baby,” he grinned mischievously, pulling your body flush to his. Snaking his arm around your waist, his large hand found purchase on the small of your back where your skin sat exposed in between your clothing.

“Rafe, what are you doing?” you asked shyly, your face dangerously close to his golden one, blue orbs piercing through your own eyes. 

“I’m trying to dance with a beautiful girl that’s had me wrapped around her finger all night,” he said innocently, his fingers trailing up your bare arms slowly, guiding your hands up to wrap around his neck. His movements were slow but intentional, leaving a fiery sensation everywhere his skin touched yours. 

Your heart was undoubtedly pounding in your chest at his casual compliment, the warmth of your skin growing dangerously hot as you flushed underneath his intense longing gaze. 

“Me?” you whispered in awe. “Can’t imagine that dragging someone like you into a messy personal situation would be grounds for catching your interest.”

You felt your body begin to rock back and forth as Rafe gently swayed your intertwined figures side to side in a slow motion, his eyebrows furrowing with question. 

“Someone like me?” he asked softly. 

“Yeah, someone like you. Someone far too good for me. Someone who didn’t deserve to get involved and still did, who has a heart bigger than anybody I’ve met in a long time, who doesn’t need the burden of my past relationship looming over them like a cloud. Someone like you.” you concluded with a sigh, allowing your admission to ring in the thick air surrounding you, fears and truths swirling and intermingling in the current of your dancing bodies. 

Rafe’s hands fell from the small of your back and found solace on your face, the metal of his rings providing a contrasting feeling of cold on your warm cheeks. Tenderly outstretching his fingers, Rafe brushed your loose hair behind your ear, gingerly stroking your face as if you were a porcelain doll, too delicate to be handled in any other way.  

“Are you fucking kidding me Y/n?” he breathed as he stopped swaying, your movements halting. “You’re far too good for me. If theres a “someone” that I want to be like, it’s you. Someone who’s kind enough to put others before herself, even after her own shit ex verbally assaulted her. Someone who always wants the people around her to be happy. Someone who deserves to be taken care of, who should have somebody looking after her heart that’s just as big. Someone who should only settle for somebody who deserves her. I know that we just met and maybe I’m speaking selfishly when I say that I feel like I could be the one to get you to settle in the end, but I know in my heart that would spend a hundred years showing you that I deserve you, if you’ll let me.”

Warm air pricked at your skin, blowing over your cheeks that you didn’t realize were wet. Blinking, leftover tears trickled down your face as you moved to wipe them away sheepishly. 

“Sorry,” you chuckled quietly as you continued to dab at your cheeks. “I don’t know why I’m crying. That was just - fuck, sorry,” you choked out. “That was the goddamn kindest and most sincere thing anybody has ever told me.”

Rafe smiled at your actions and angled his head down, his face growing closer to yours. Slowly but softly, his lips met your skin, kissing away your fallen tears. 

Pulling away, he mumbled into your skin. “Don’t cry, Y/n.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as he continued to leave small pecks across various parts of your cheeks, your body overcome with elation and a newfound sense of calmness. 

You were hyperaware of his touch on your body. You could feel him everywhere. His lips on your skin, his thumbs resting on your temples, his palms pulsing against your cheeks. Rafe Cameron had utterly consumed you. 

“Y/n,” he murmured in a raspy voice, his lips balancing dangerously on the small corner of your lips. 

Your breath hitched in your throat as you struggled to form a coherent sentence against the immense feeling overtaking you. “I know Rafe,” you sputtered. “Me too.” 

Rafe wasted no time. In the mere millisecond between those two words that escaped you, his mouth crashed onto yours. His soft lips moved firmly against yours, the sense of urgency and need devouring the two of you. 

His hands had moved to your hair and so did yours, your fingers fisting the tufts at the crown of his head. Rafe groaned at the slight tug, which caused you to moan into his open mouth. 

Heart racing and pounding, you worked hard to try and consume him back. To feel him in every open inch of your body, to absorb his warmth and radiate it back. You were floating, swirling, coming apart at his very touch. You clutched him to your body tighter, afraid that the feeling of his heavy body was the only thing keeping you tethered to the ground. 

After a few moments, you could feel your breathing steadying and your awareness returning as you came back down to Earth. 

Pulling away slowly, you did nothing to release the tight grip you had on his body, only moving to rest your forehead against Rafe’s.

“Can I tell you something?” Rafe whispered, his chest heaving.  

“Anything,” you breathed, your eyes still half fluttered shut in a trance as you basked in in the afterglow of your kiss. 

“I knew you were the girl of my dreams the minute you stepped foot in that bar. I’ve been staring at your lips for half the night. Kissing you was a million times better than anything I could have dreamed it to be.” 

:

taglist: @hopebaker @notdisneychannel @eatmoretacos15 @onmykneesforrafe @angelofcigs 

[tender-rosiey]

i don't know if you do this kinda thing, but -

can i have headcanons of the agency reacting to a reader (gn please) who gives platonic cheek/forehead kisses to the agency members when they thank them/want to cheer them up if someone is upset or stressed?

if you don't want to do all of the agency, can you do the headcanons for Atsushi, Dazai, Ranpo, and Yosano?

also i love your writing style! i check your page just about every day to see what you post next. i especially love your atsushi ones, he's a huge comfort character for me and the way you write him makes me super duper happy!! i really hope you are doing well and i appreciate you a lot! 💕

(sorry for the long message, and thank you for reading this even if you don't end up doing it!)

❥ BSD characters getting platonic forehead/cheek kisses from reader

Includes Dazai, Ranpo, Atsushi and Yosano

ᴀ/ɴ: ahem, i am a sucker for forehead kisses and honestly this is just feeding into that adulation for it, and i am glad you like my work and i hope this is up to your liking as well 💘 it’s an honor to hear that you like the way I write pls 💕💕💕

OSAMU DAZAI:

s h o o k

Like s h o o k e t h s hook

“Y/N why did you give me a kiss (°▽°)？”

And today’s news flash everyone is that dazai osamu is not used to affection in the slightest

Which is why i portray him when as your lover as someone who wants affection due to not receiving it so he craves it, ya know?

So as I was saying, the proof for that when atsushi gave him a bouquet of flowers as a token of his gratitude for everything dazai did for him, the brunette damn nearly died

Now back to the headcanon

He would not be used to it the first few times cause it caught him off guard but slowly adapted

And turned into his flirty self and took advantage of it

Also now, he tries to help you twice the amount of help he already did to you to get even more kisses

I feel like dazai finds forehead kisses really comforting cause like you know how they are a sign of trust and basically a different breed of affection of their own? (Did you notice that I am fangirling/rambling, oh to be forehead kissed by dazai)

As a result, the first time you gave him a forehead kiss to comfort him, he was taken back

How and why would someone be so gentle and loving towards him?

Mind you, y’all are not lovers since the dear requester wanted it platonic and yes this is me ruining your imagination of him like this

But yeah, I feel like he would also slowly develop a habit of giving you a kiss back, as in for example a token of his gratitude

I mean come on, you are being a sweetheart and being so caring towards him, he has to do something in return, right?

Even though he gets the love because he already helped you

SO

He will kiss the back of your hand like the roguish gentleman he is

And/or kiss the top of your head when you are stressed 🥺

He might even see you as his younger sibling at some point, after you have proven you are trust worthy and okay to be allowed to pass through his first wall

“Good morning, y/n!” followed by a kiss on the top of your head

And I feel it would become a casual thing between you two

And everyone is like ‘they are not dating???’

But yeah you are not

Also if anyone ever talks crap about what you guys do as in “Why are they kissing while not being in a relationship?”

Dazai will have a word them

A word that will probably make them think 13 times before they talk

Also he was so shocked when you kissed his forehead when he seemed (to you) that he is stressed

He is still trying to this day how the fuck did you figure it out

Though he appreciated it a lot and you held a much bigger place in his heart than before <3

EDOGAWA RANPO:

GOT SO HAPPY

LIKE SO SO HAPPY

Internally before letting it out though

He was like “oh? Y/N, why was that?”

Not that he is complaining of course

Affection is sometimes equal to praise

You wanna congratulate someone? Give em a big bear hug, unless they are uncomfortable cause we respect personal space here

But Ranpo is o v e r the damn moon

Because

✨😩🤌PRAISE 😩🤌✨

Anyhow, he now gets pouty if he doesn’t get a greeting with a little kiss on the cheek

“Um, y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“Didn’t you forget something?”

“No, why?”

“Didn’t you forget SOMETHING?”

“…?”

“Never mind…ugh.”

Dang okay salt man

Sort of like dazai he would like the affection but would show it openly, because while dazai just craves that kind of love and acceptance

I think ranpo just likes to be assured and reminded of how truly helpful and important he is

Hence why I feel like he help you but not excessively so the compliments or like pecks are genuine or more like mean more, I don’t think he takes affection lightly and doesn’t dismiss it causally

I feel like he treasured every good thing said and done to him

So yeah, he beams and just becomes really happy for the rest of the way after getting a peck from you on the cheek

He also brags about you like “Y/N IS KH BEST FRIEND WHO I APPRECIATE VERY MUCH AND— DAZAI YOU ARE TOUCHING THEM TOO MUCH! it’s my turn, back off.”

Yosano just cackles and giggles whenever she sees the scene unfold in front her

And he tries to shush her but no avail

How unfortunate

“Y/N I heard Ranpo mumbling in his sleep about wanting to be praised more by yo—“

“TACOS.”

“Tacos?”

“Tacos.”

“Or maybe waffles.”

His mood does a full 180 most of the time whenever you comfort him by kissing his forehead and patting his head, it just hits different he guesses

It feels like motherly love

He isn’t complaining though

Like not at all

He is just gonna milk it for it’s worth, but in his own way

AKIKO YOSANO:

Speaking of yosano

She is here with us

YAYYYY

She is, like everyone, caught off guard by it at first

But quickly gets used to it

And it just becomes a thing between the of you and everyone is used to it but they sorta just get a bi panic because woah the hottest people on the blog, imagine getting a cheek/forehead kiss from them

They overreact though since you give everyone your cheek kisses™ just yosano gets a bit more cause yeah, yosano privileges

She enjoys it but out of everyone, I think she won’t do that much to get it a lot like the mentor and his subordinate 🚶‍♀️

She just appreciates what she gets from you and returns it

Keep in mind I am not caught up to the manga so what I am gonna say is something from my own interpretation

I feel like yosano is carrying a burden that only she knows about and doesn’t how to quite let it go just yet

So when you notice that your dearest friend is looking quite gloomy today, you take a seat beside her and hug her

You whispered that she didn’t have to tell you anything if she didn’t want to and just kissed her cheek before rubbing her arm

She just smiled gently and leaned her head on your shoulder and literally fell asleep after some time

Everyone took photos cause why not

You saved it in your favorites and so did she

Ranpo does sometimes huff and acts jealous whenever you guys exchange cheek kisses

And he tries to guilt you into indulging him as well

Spoiler: you don’t

And yosano cackles pt.2

Like that cute gif up there

If anyone dares to bad mouth your relationship, you best believe that he will get…rehabilitated in the nicest way possible

At least the nicest yosano way possible

Which isn’t ever very nice I gotta tell ya guys, it isn’t exactly kid friendly either

But I gotta tell you that she flexes SO hard when he she gets a kiss on the cheek from you

Girlie really made it turn into a competition in the agency

Even kunikida joins in but like VERY VERY VERYYYYYYYYYY subtly

Bruh I just feel most of the people in the agench just need a hug

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA:

IS THAT A WALKING TOMATO?

It has a tail??—

oh wait no

That’s atsushi

Ah

FIRST TIME

So, him being the sweetheart he is always willing to help you

Hence that one time he managed to actually help you before someone else came to the rescue

He got a thank you and a kiss on the cheek woah

A moment to process and then he would start freaking out “O-O-OH UM UH YOUR WELCOME!”

I don’t see him getting used to it at all, maybe just to start looking forward to it and/or expecting it

Like he is always still flustered by it

Let’s say that it’s been approximately 8 months since y’all have met

He will still red and get shy about it

Though he feels like he needs to repay you for the comfort you provide him with your kisses because genuine and pure affection is top tier

So don’t be surprised when you find a cupcake and small trinkets on your desk

I think Atsushi would love to give people he cares about little trinkets

Like they are not expensive just thought about, such as a flower he found, maybe this little keychain of the sun that he got for you because it reminded him of you

Unconsciously he would try to help 10x times even more (which I have no idea how exactly will he manage to help more than he does)

He is probably touched starved and wanting of appreciation and acceptance due to his past experiences and that’s why I feel like he would try to do anything that would end up with you thanking him with a kiss on the forehead or the cheek

Of course, forehead kisses are great but I feel Atsushi would love cheek kisses because they are really pure ya know?

They are simple and quick but manage to convey everything at once

I sometimes kiss my friends on the cheek (which a lot find weird) but I just feel like it shows that I appreciate them

So yeah

Cheek kisses supremacy in this section 🔫

Atsushi has a lot of sad boy hours kudos to him being the main character ig

But anyways, he has a lot of times where he is conflicted and just doesn’t know where’s the start and where’s the end

So having you by his side and reassuring him with your affection, grounds him

He always thanks you for helping him sort out his problem or cheer up

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15 @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk

copyright © 2020 tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[crushedbyhyperbole]

Rockets of Love - Chapter Four

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Plus Size Reader

Chapter Summary:   The speed-dating continues and in your emails with Bucky things escalate. You get to see a picture of him for the first time and he is HOT! You meet someone you instantly regret and wish you'd kept your mouth shut.

Words: 2.3k

Note:  The flirting with Bucky continues shamelessly - I'm not sorry in the slightest. I hope you enjoy ❤

There will be the occasional image and gif in the story from this point on. I've had a lot of them saved on my pc (for personal use *coughs*) for so long I've got no hope of remembering where they came from but where I have source information I will credit it.

Warnings:   alcohol consumption, sexism, fat shaming, derogatory language & behaviours, language/profanity, shameless flirting

***18+ Content - this whole fic is written for adults regardless of sexual content - minors do not interact***

Rockets of Love Masterlist

The next five dates weren’t any better in terms of a connection.  They were all too much like fuckboys, looking for a model to stick their dicks into.  One even seemed to mock you with his smug smirking as you talked, like the idea of bedding you as a pity fuck was a highly comedic idea.

“I mean, you could come home with me tonight and we’ll take it from there.”  His Lasse fair attitude was irritating.  “I’d make an exception for a good cause.”

Shit like that really made you feel stupid for even trying things like dating and socialising.  You hated this aspect of interacting with people but you plastered on some fake confidence and told him how it is.

“Listen, Joel,” you read his name badge with distain.  “You’re not my type.  I’m looking for someone I can hold an intellectual discussion with, not a one-night-stand.  I was hoping to let you down gently but since you came right out and said you want to smash, you pretty much forced my hand.  Sorry, mate.  That’s a no from me.”

“Fuck you!  Frigid bitch.”  He got up before the time limit was up and left the table.

You laughed on the outside but on the inside you were pissed off.  You could never win with guys like that.  If you fucked them you were a slut.  If not, you were frigid, bitch, cunt, or worse.  They’d call you fat, pig, ugly, and a plethora of other names and insults designed to bring you down.  Sure, you weren’t thin or super attractive but you weren’t the biggest and you weren’t all that ugly either.  People thought that people like you had no right to have standards, well fuck them in the ass, they were idiots.

You pulled out your phone to another email from Bucky.

Hey,

Look, I’m sorry if I went too far.  It’s just so easy to get carried away when I’ve had a few drinks.

I really enjoy talking to you and playing with you and I never want that to stop, so you just tell me when I’ve been an asshole and I’ll let that be the line in the sand.  Okay?

Bucky X

Slightly confused you looked back to see if there was anything in your last email to make him think he’d upset you.  You realised that you hadn’t replied to him when you’d replied to Nat.  Quickly you tapped out an answer.

Bucky…

You’ve never managed to offend me yet so you’re good.  I didn’t have time to reply in my haste to neck as much wine as possible between dates.  How else am I going to get through this catastrophe?

I’ll certainly tell you when you’re an asshole, and IF you go too far.  I quite like this loose-lipped side of you, but please stop apologising… You sound like me FFS.

Just wait until I tell you about this latest asshat.  Basically he invited me for a one-night-stand pity fuck.  I turned him down on the grounds of his waning intellect haha!

This is the last time I let anyone drag me to one of these things even if I’m only here in a supporting role.

See you in a few,

MD X

One more date before the next bathroom/smoke break and the guy was actually alright.  Bit mousy in the looks department but he was smart and funny and nerd just like you.  You talked shop, him being a programmer for a smartphone company and you being a high-level tech support agent.  He seemed impressed with your skills and even went so far as to ask you for another date there and then.  You would have liked to, but his breath was pretty smelly and you just couldn’t cope with it.

“Sure.”  You smiled at him when he asked for your number.  “You’ll get my details from the dating coordinator when we both tick yes on our sheets.”  You smiled and ticked yes where he could see and he did the same.  You felt terrible crossing it out after he left and ticking “no” instead, but you weren’t going to have a conversation about oral hygiene with a grown man, and certainly weren’t going to be kissing him.

During your next break you checked your phone to find one email from Bucky.

Babe,

If I were there I’m sure I’d be begging you to take me home too.  A one-night-stand seems a little short sighted but I’d take what I could get.  Pity fuck?  Was he that pathetic to ask you to fuck him out of pity?  Jesus.  I suppose his balls were big enough to ask lol

I love that you’ll call me out on my bullshit lol.  You’re fucking awesome.  Though… You do realise now you’ve told me that you’ll let me know IF I overstep the mark that you’re going to get so fed up of my loose-lipped bullshit you’re going to have to block me like some crazy stalker.  Maybe get a restraining order.

Does “see you in a few” mean you’ll come play with me later?  Or does it mean I’ll actually get to see you?  Shit, you know we’ve never even seen each other.  Hold up.  I’ll send you a picture in a bit.

Bucky X

Oh shit!

Now that Bucky was talking about pictures, you started to get nervous.   And he was calling you ‘babe’ now, which felt weird and nice at the same time.

You replied.

Buckinator…

The pity was for me… but I’d rather let my gash heal over than fuck a piece of shit fuckboy like him.  My cobwebs will remain in place until someone I actually like can convince me otherwise.

It means I’ll play later.  You don’t need to send a picture.  I’m sure as hell not sending one lol.

MD X

Just as you sent your reply, another email from him came through… with an attachment.

So this is me…

Bucky X

Holy shit Bucky was hot!  You were caught between a grin and a look of awe, whatever the hell kind of expression that was going to make on your face.

You could hear everyone being called back to their tables so you quickly, and very honestly, made your reply.

Fuck me!  You’re a hottie.  What the hell dude?  Your GF is one lucky lady.

MD X  *drooling*

He’d never spoken of a girlfriend before but that didn’t mean he didn’t have one.  There was only one way to find out; by prompting him on it.  You pressed send as another email came in from Bucky.  At this rate you were going to have a date waiting at your table when you returned.

Babe,

seriously?  Why the hell do you need a pity fuck?  You’re fucking amazing.  I also just spat good whiskey all over myself.  Thanks for the intense imagery… again.

If your ‘gash’ is ever in danger of healing over I offer my services.  And I apologise that the guys you’re meeting with tonight are a bunch of pricks.  We can’t all be charming and chivalrous 😉

It would be lovely to see you, to put a face to the voice, but it’s not necessary.  I know you’re a private person and I’d never pressure you.

Looking forward to later.

Bucky XXX

You rushed to your table and read at the same time.  He was really laying the charm on.  Could it be the whiskey he’d been drinking?  You couldn’t recall him ever being drunk when you’d gamed, but then neither had you been.  Maybe the wine had loosened you up and he was responding to your cues?

God only knows.  You thought.  But you couldn’t lie, you were enjoying this new twist to your interactions with him.  It was exciting, giving you a pleasant tingle low in your abdomen that you hadn’t felt for a long time.

Back at your table and Becca threw you a questioning look, glancing down at your phone and back to your face.  Her raised eyebrows said ‘what the hell are you doing?’

You shrugged and played innocent.

Date sixteen was another one of those guys who were just after a one-night-stand.  This one wasn’t even a little bit reserved about it.

“I’m here to get laid.”  Tim said.  “Honestly, you’re pretty enough.  I’d fuck you.”

“Well thanks for that, Cyrano de Bergerac.”  You sighed, exasperated.  “I’ll pass.”

“What do you want me to say?”  He folded his arms across his chest.  “At least I was up front about it.”

“True that.”  You took a massive gulp of wine.  Your buzz was wearing off way too quickly.  “Maybe a little less of the ‘you’re my bare minimum criteria for sex, come to my cave’ type of shit, would work better.”  You put on a voice for your parody, not bothering to look at him, you fiddled with your glass.

“Honesty is the best policy.”  He snorted.

“Honesty isn’t always kind, though is it?”  You were about done here.  Exhausted with putting on airs for these people, trying to be polite, and nice.

“Are you always so cynical?”

“This is me on a low cynicism day.”  You finished your wine and attracted a waiter for more.  You might as well just ask them to leave the bottle at this point.

“See, I like that you’re a little darker than you first seemed.”  Tim smiled at you, flashing you a set of over-white teeth.  “A woman with a black sense of humour is more attractive than some pretty thing that looks good on your arm.  That’s the kind of woman I’d want to spend my time with.”  He looked at you coyly, as if you weren’t going to see through that fake bullshit after what he’d said already.

“How’s that working out for you, Tim?”  You swigged your wine again, less and less interested in what he had to say.

“Not too well until about twenty seconds ago.”  He levelled a look at you that said ‘bedroom eyes’, and you actually snorted, almost spitting wine in his face.

“Really?”  You rolled your eyes.  “I bet your pick-up lines are priceless.”

When Tim moved on to Den’s table you really hoped he didn’t ply her with bullshit.  If he was honest with her she’d probably fuck him and not care about it being just a one time thing, but if he plied her with compliments and made her feel good then she’d be in it for relationship goals and would be mortified when he didn’t call back after the first hook-up.

You checked your phone for emails from Bucky (let’s not beat about the bush, his was the only name that you wanted to see in your notifications) while you waited for Becca to be done with your next date.

Stop!  You’re making me blush.  There’s no girlfriend, no wife, no significant other.  Wait!  Was ‘fuck me!’ an offer or a demand?

Mr Hottie X

You laughed out loud as Becca was forced to stop talking to your next date.  She was smiling and simpering, and everything.

This guy must be nice.  You thought.

WRONG!

With the seventeenth date, you discovered that not all men were happy about girl gamers, contrary to popular belief.  Your experience had been that men online thought of girl gamers much like unicorns – a rare mythological creature scarcely seen and, rarer still, experienced first-hand.

“Games are sports, and female gamers are like female sportspersons.”   A fitness freak called Tony said.  “They’re substandard and devalue the game.”

“Seriously?”  You didn’t know what to say to him.  Sexist wanker.

“Yeah.”  He was firm.  “There’s no female sportsperson better than any male sportsman.”

“So you’re saying that no woman in the world can beat any man in the world at any game?  Even online games?”  You scoffed.  “That’s ridiculous.  I play well enough to kick plenty of guys in the ass.”

“What game do you play?”  He scowled.

“Orion Protocol.”  You said without thinking.

“Hmm?”  Tony huffed.  “I play that.  What’s your gamer tag?”

“MoonDragon.”  You said reactively as your temper flared.

There was no way this shithead was going to tell you that he was better than you at that damn game.  You knew you were good.  You were in one of the best clans in the whole damn game and were good enough for Bucky to call you one of their ‘big guns’.

“Fuck off!”  He laughed.  “You’re [AVG]MoonDragon?  Not a chance in hell!”

Shitshitshitshitshit!  Damn wine.  Damn pride.

Adrenaline surged, sending your heart into overdrive and your chest tingling with the first stages of panic.  Your regret was instant.

Your face was beet red, even under the make-up, you could feel the burn prickling your skin but you remained silent.

Breathe.  Breathe.  Your frown matched his.

“MoodDragon is definitely a guy.  I’ve played with him.  The style is unmistakeable, no girl can do what he does.”

“What’s your tag then?”  Pride and frustration mixed together to form a writhing mess of emotion in your chest and gut.

“I’m [HDR]Taskmaster.”  He was all smug and cocky.  “Though I play on an alternate account too.”

“[HDR]?  Never heard of them.”  Alternate account?  That was why you didn’t know the name.

“Haven’t heard of HYDRA?”  Tony laughed at you mockingly.  “We’re one of the oldest clans in Orion Protocol.  We’ve been around since the beginning.  Arch nemesis of The Avengers, in fact.”  His eyes were twinkling with glee.  “You should know if you’re in the Avengers.”

“What’s your alt, then?”  You pushed.

The buzzer went off for the five minute date timer and Tony stood.

“I’ll see you around, loser.”  He moved to the next table and refused to look your way again.

[whiteqnn]

Pairing: Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader

Summary: Sean invites one of his good friends - Y/N - to play with him and the group. She has a lot of fun with them, but at the same time is too oblivious, too nice, and too pure to notice that one particular Among Us player has taken a liking to her the moment he heard her voice...

Notes: Hello everyone! This is the very first time I’m publishing something bigger in here, I’m honestly still figuring out how Tumblr works, even though I’ve had this account for quite some time now 😅. That being said, please don’t expect anything super impressive. I tried my best though just so you know. 🥺

A/N- It didn’t turn out as I expected, but I really hope at least some of you find it enjoyable :(

Y/C/N - your channel name

part 2

part 3 

part 4 

part 5 

PURE [1]

“Did you guys find anybody?” Felix asked, as the number of players still showed just 7 of them. They could just start now, but the game would be way more fun with a full lobby. 

“Yeah, Lily’s joining. I just texted her the code, so she should be here at any moment.” Sykkuno replied after receiving a text message from the said girl. “Oh, and Corpse also said he’d be joining soon.” 

“Great. Anyone else?”

 “I think Jack was also bringing someone, right?” Dave asked.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I have one coming, she’ll join us in a few” the asked man replied at the same moment Lily’s character appeared in the lobby. 

“Who you’re bringing Jack?” 

“Y/N” he said, causing Felix to gasp in shock and yell into his mic:

“How the fuck did you manage to convince her? I’ve been bugging her about this game for the past week and she always had some excuse!” 

“What can I say, my charm is irresistible” Jack replied nonchalantly, causing everyone in the lobby to laugh at his fake deep voice.

The number of participants changed to 9, as a little black astronaut with horns on his helmet appeared in the lobby. 

“Corpse, you’re here!” Rae’s character ran up to the man, circling him excitedly. 

“Hey man!”

“What’s up, Corpse?”

“Hello everyone” his deep voice sounded out “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“All good man, we’re still waiting for one person.” Felix reassured him “Sean, why is she not here yet? Are you sure you’ve sent her the right code?”

“Of course I am!” he all but shouted at Felix “And about that, she just texted me to give her a few more minutes and that we should start without her.”

“We can just wait, right?” Lily offered, earning a few hums of approval from the others.

“I think it might take a little longer than a few minutes, she has some problems with her microphone.”

“Who are you guys talking about?” Corpse asked, completely unaware of who Jack was referring to.

“Wait, Jack, you mean Y/N from Y/C/N?” Sykkuno asked suddenly, only then realizing why this name sounded familiar

“Yeah, the one and only” Jack replied, a smile evident in his voice.

“Oh my god, I love her videos!” Rae exclaimed at that “She’s so funny and sweet!”

“Yeah! Her new video is so freaking cute, I wish she’d upload more often.” Poki agreed. 

“Right?” Jack said, clearly very proud of his friend. “But don’t let that sweet demeanor fool you guys cause she’s one of the best players I’ve encountered in this game.”

“That’s true, she’s a secret big brain genius” Toast confirmed, making Pewdiepie gasp once again. 

“wHAT??YOU TWO PLAYED WITH HER?!” Felix’s offended voice boomed through everyone’s headphones “HOW DARE YOU. HOW COULD YOU NOT INVITE ME?!” 

“That’s for not inviting me to your latest Cringe episode!” Jack was quick to respond, making others in the lobby laugh at their mini fight. 

“Oh, so that’s where I recognized her from!” Sykkuno nearly shouted when he finally put two and two together. “I can’t wait to meet her, she seems like a really nice person.”

“She is! When she got impostor for the first time she refused to kill me” Toast explained, earning himself a couple of Aww’s from his friends. “So we just ran around the emergency button until I called the meeting and voted her off.”

“Yeah, only to be her first victim in the next game.” Jack all but giggled, clearly very amused at the memory of Y/N going into a full berserk mode. No one except for him and Toast knew how good she really was at this game... 

“She’s basically the wolf in sheep’s skin” Felix concluded with a chuckle “Very soft wolf, however.”

“She’s like the complete opposite of Corpse, both in voice and personality” Jack suddenly said, making Felix laugh wholeheartedly at something only two of them understood at the moment. 

“I don’t know how should I take that” Corpse admitted with a chuckle. He remained silent for most of the conversation since he didn’t really know who the guys were talking about. But he would lie if he said he wasn’t intrigued by this girl at least in the slightest. Although he heard about her channel, he hasn’t seen any of her videos, so he didn’t really know what to expect. But hearing what gamers like Sean and Felix said about her, he knew he’s not gonna be disappointed once the girl joins them in the game. 

“Imagine Corpse and Y/N talking.” Felix said suddenly with a seemingly very amused voice.

“Imagine Corpse and Y/N both being Impostors” Toast said, which resulted in many of them shouting over each other at how crazy that would be. 

“Alright, now that you mention this I start fearing the moment two of them meet” Jack confessed with loud laughter following the sentence. Corpse chuckled deeply under his breath, at the same time glancing at the questions his audience was asking him in his stream. He could hardly read any, as there were quite a lot of people asking, so all he saw was just a bunch of comments moving at the speed of light in his chat. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he was slightly nervous, seeing the growing number of people watching his stream. It was still a rather new thing to him, and he feared he'd say something inappropriate, or just make a complete idiot out of himself. 

"At least no one can see me..." he mumbled under his breath after muting his microphone. 

"Oh! Y/N just texted me! She's joining the call right now!" 

"Fuck yeah!" Felix shouted excitedly "Just so you know Jack, I won't forget that you two played without me."

"Uh-oh. Is that a threat? Are you threatening me now?" 

"It's a warning" Felix replied, receiving a series of gasps from other players. "If I get impostor, you're the first one on my list."

"Okay, everyone heard that! You know who to vote off when I'm dead!" 

"It's so cool to play with someone new, I wonder if she's as good as you guys depict her" Sykkuno spoke up, but before anyone could answer his question, a new character popped up in the lobby.

*** 

"Hi everyone! I’m sorry I left you just like that, but this stream would be completely useless without me being able to answer your questions. Fortunately it wasn’t anything serious, I just had to readjust my mic and go through the settings to find what was wrong. Took some time, but here I am now!” Y/N chirped into her microphone, smiling apologetically at her webcam. At the moments like this, she really appreciated how supportive her audience was. No one was hating on her when she had to get off the stream for a couple of minutes, and everyone was just so understanding that it made her heart melt. Perhaps her audience wasn’t very big, but it felt almost like a second family to her. 

“Anyway, as you already know from my twitter, today I’ll be playing Among Us with my friends and their friends! I can’t wait if I’m being honest, last time I played this game was so much fun, and there was only a few of us.” she admitted with a genuine smile on her face. “Let’s just text Sean now so we can get into the lobby...”

Y/N: Ready to play with you guys ^^

Jackaboy: Great! You got that mic fixed already? 

Y/N: Yes, everything is fine. I’m sorry you had to wait so long.

Jackaboy: It’s all good kiddo, no worries. I’ll call you and send you the code in a sec. 

Y/N: Perfect, thank you Sean :)

Jackaboy: Btw, everyone can’t wait to meet you ;-)Y/N stared at the screen for a moment, only now, seconds before joining the group, realizing how nervous she felt. From Sean’s tweets she saw earlier, she figured that the lobby was right now full of many famous streamers, those she wouldn’t even compare herself to. It’s not that she thought of herself very low, but... being among such youtube celebrities like them made her panic a little bit. She didn’t want to look like a complete fool amongst them. 

Playing or recording with Sean and Felix was something else because she knew those guys for years (and yet still sometimes found herself thinking how lucky she got to be able to call them her friends). She felt good in their company, not worrying about choosing the right words. But amongst the rest of the players, she knew only Toast and talked with Rae maybe once in her life... 

What if the rest won’t like her? 

Y/N cleared her throat, realizing that she was still staring at her phone like hypnotized and her audience was already asking her what’s going on. She quickly typed in the code Sean had texted her and readjusted her headphones, before joining the discord chat.

“THERE SHE IS” screamed Sean, making her grin from ear to ear, hearing how excited he was “Little wonderchild!”

“I think you meant little TRAITOR” Felix corrected him with a scoff. A silence settled in the lobby as everyone was waiting for Y/N to speak up.

“Um... hello everyone..” she said softly, almost inaudibly, a sudden wave of shyness taking over her. “I’m Y/N” 

“Oh, you were right about that Corpse thing!” replied another, also very soft and very sweet voice, and Y/N saw the image of someone named Lily pop up. “It’s like the exact opposite!” 

“See? Told ya. Everyone, meet Y/N/N, the little angel from Y/C/N.” 

“Hey Y/N!”

“Hi there!”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“H-Hi, so great to meet you, Y/N!” a very friendly sounding voice said, and a little lime astronaut with the name Sykkuno above it started running around her. “Can’t wait to play with you!”

“That’s so nice, thank you” she replied with a wide smile on her face, moving around his character as well. “I can’t wait to play with you too, actually with all you guys. It’s so great to be here with you.”

“Jack I swear she’s the cutest little thing I’ve ever heard. Where the hell did you find her?!” Poki all but yelled at the man, making Y/N giggle to herself and in-process loosen up a little bit. They all seemed like someone she’d happily be friends with. 

“Or rather, where do you get one?” someone else commented, making them all burst into laughter, Y/N included. 

“Guys, what did I say about that sweet demeanor...” Jack said after calming down from his fit “Don’t put your guard down just because she sounds like that!”

“Wait- what did you tell them about me?” Y/N asked confused, the tone of her voice making him laugh even more “Jack!”

“Don’t worry, only the good stuff” a very deep, low voice spoke up, leaving her taken aback for a moment. Her eyes widened slightly and she glanced at the name of that person, reading out CORPSE. Now that’s something she didn’t expect... 

“Corpse, mind your manners! You didn’t even introduce yourself!” 

“Oh, shit- yeah, sorry. Um, I’m Corpse, it’s very nice to meet you Y/N” he replied right after, making her lip corners curl up into a smile. 

“Nice to meet you too Corpse, you have a really pleasant voice.” she spoke sweetly, completely unaware of the chaos that was taking place in her stream chat. She didn’t even think of it the way her audience did, she just simply spoke up her mind, and being an incredibly nice person - turned it into a compliment.

“Oh- wow. I mean, thank you so much. I love your voice too, it’s really sweet” he replied, nervously chuckling at the end, before muting his mic. It was, however, enough for Felix and Sean to start teasing him, as the two immediately screamed:

“SIIIMP!!!”

“It’s the voice Felix, I told you he’d fall into her trap!” 

“Wait- he was just being nice, guys! Stop making fun of him” Y/N immediately defended the man, trying to speak up over the hysterical laughter of the other players. 

“Oh my god, but what if they both get impostors and they both pull the voice cards on us?!” Rae managed to yell through all the noise, making Y/N even more confused.

“Wait, what? What do you mean? I don’t understand.” 

“Don’t worry Y/N, that’s how I feel all the time around them.” Sykkuno seemed to be the only one who heard her question, as the rest continued their gabbing without giving her as much as a glance. 

“Alright, let’s start the game maybe. I might have a few old scores to settle” Toast cleared his throat theatrically, his astronaut coming face to face with Y/N’s. 

“Oh, you mean me? I thought I already apologized!” she replied frantically. “You gave me no choice Toast, I didn’t even want to kill you in the first place...”

“BUT YOU DID. IN THE VERY FIRST ROUND” 

“I’m sorry!” 

“Alright, enough! Toast, just don’t kill her right away, okay? Let her run around the map, fearing for her life for a moment.” Y/N gasped upon hearing Jack’s words, clearly sensing the smirk behind his voice. 

“Wha- Jack?! Since when are you against me?!” 

“Don’t worry Y/N, I won’t let them hurt you. You haven’t played with us yet, I’ll protect you.” 

“Oh, thank you so much Sykkuno! I’ll protect you too!” 

“Great. Another one simping...” was Felix’s last words, before the game began. 

Y/N sighed in relief upon seeing the word crewmate forming on her screen, but at the same time feared Toast’s inevitable revenge. She thought they'd already buried the hatchet, but it seemed that he was desperate to make her pay for the last time they played together. 

“Aw, Sykkuno was serious” she mumbled with a smile, when his lime astronaut started circling her white one, so she would follow him. “Okay, let’s do some tasks.”

They both made their way towards the medbay, Sykkuno patiently waiting nearby as she did the scan, then Y/N waiting for him to do the same. The moment his little character stepped towards her, a meeting was called by none other than Felix.

“What happened?” Rae asked.

“I called the meeting because I’m afraid of Jack” he responded, causing everyone to laugh. “Seriously though! Dude’s been following me around the whole time.”

“I was just making sure nobody kills you.”

“Yeah don’t go all Sykkuno on me!” Felix screamed, making the call erupt into even more laughter. 

“Alright, are we skipping?” 

“Yeah.”

“Guys, my life is in danger!” Felix wouldn’t give up. “Come on, show some support! Y/N? You played with him, you know his techniques!” 

“Sorry Felix” Y/N giggled, clicking the skip button. 

When the next round began, Sykkuno was quick to join Y/N on her way towards admin, where they both found Poki doing the upload. They did the card swipe and left her there, when the lights suddenly went off.

“Uh-oh. Let’s head the opposite direction, Sykkuno” the girl murmured, dancing around his character and heading towards Comms instead of going to Electrical. It was the easiest way to die, after all. 

Once they entered the room and waited for someone to fix the lights, Y/N could see another figure appear in the same location. She couldn’t recognize whose character it was, but upon seeing the horns on the helmet she smiled to herself.

“Hey there, Corpse” she said, walking up to the black astronaut, who was standing still in the same place as if he was just watching her and Sykkuno run around Comms instead of doing their tasks. 

They stood like that for a couple of seconds until Corpse turned around and ran away, and that’s when the first body was reported. 

“Oh no, Jack!” 

“Poor guy. He’s gonna haunt us now.”

“Where’s the body?” 

“Navigation” replied Rae, who was the one to find Sean’s green astronauts’ body “Didn’t see anyone around, but I’m pretty sure someone just vented right in front of my eyes...”

“Any suspicions?” Toast asked.

“Um, not really sure, it was the exact same moment the lights went off. I was doing tasks with Jack and then he just died. I only saw the vent close, nothing or no one else.”

“Okay, where are you guys right now?” 

“I’m in admin with Dave, we only passed Poki when we got there.” Lily’s voice sounded out, quickly being joined by Poki’s explanation.

“Yeah, I was finishing the upload when you guys came in, Y/N and Sykkuno saw it”

“Did you see her?” Toast asked, addressing his question towards the white and lime astronauts. 

“Yes, we were doing the card swipe before going to Comms. Corpse joined us for a moment and then left.”

“Yeah, I was on my way to fix the lights when I stumbled upon them in Comms, the body was reported the exact moment I left.”

“Can someone confirm this? I mean, did someone see you besides the two of them?” Toast continued his questioning. 

“I think I only saw Felix in Medbay.”

“Hmm, so no one really knows where you were this whole time. You could easily lure Jack into Navigation and kill him there. Is that what you did, Corpse?”

“Woah, that’s some serious accusation” Corpse replied in his usual, low and calm voice. “Where were you Toast? You seem the only one who still doesn’t have an alibi”

“Neither does Felix.” Y/N spoke innocently, and the mentioned man quickly started his explanation.

“Okay, I was with Jack at the beginning but he clearly can’t confirm this since someone snapped his fucking neck. We’ve split up in O2 after doing our tasks and then he must’ve gone with Rae. I just wandered around the map, escaping from the death.”

“Hmm, so not only were you one of the last people to see him alive, but you also admit to not doing your tasks” Y/N said, trying her best to keep her voice steady and stop herself from laughing. She was sure Sykkuno was doing the same thing, they both refused to do any tasks after the lights went off, after all.

“Yeah, but does that already makes me an Imposter? I’m just scared for my life, that’s all.”

“Y/N has some good logic, but I’m not really sure it’s Pewds. I mean, I saw him in Medbay and he really seemed to be just jogging around.” Corpse said, his voice almost immediately doing its magic, as people more or less willingly agreed to skip this round as well. 

“I think it’s Felix. I mean, I haven’t played with him yet, but I have this feeling that he’s just acting.” Y/N said to her chat after muting herself. She went towards Weapons to do another task, seeing Sykkuno’s little character follow her once again, but the doors were suddenly locked and his lime astronaut remained in Cafeteria. “Oh no, Sykkuno” she sighed with a pout on her face, deciding against waiting for him and risking getting her neck snapped. She finished her task in Weapons and moved towards another location, when suddenly Corpse appeared in front of her, coming right out of nowhere. 

“Oh- Corpse, you scared me to death” Y/N breathed a laugh, watching as his character stood still for a couple of seconds, before circling around her white astronaut. Y/N nodded her head with a smile, even though he couldn’t see her, and followed him in Shields, where they found Poki’s dead body. 

“The body is in Shields” Y/N replied right after reporting the body, only to gasp in shock when she realized more than one person was killed. Red crosses decorated not only Poki’s name but were also visible next to Dave and Lily. 

“What the hell?!” Felix all but yelled into his mic, obviously shocked just like everyone else who was still alive. 

“Now that’s... a lot of bodies” Sykkuno mumbled under his breath. 

“Alright, who’s in Shields? Y/N, you said you found the body there, which one?”

“Poki’s, Corpse was there with me” her reply was followed by his short and low hum. 

“Sykkuno, where are you? I didn’t see you anywhere since the last round.” Felix asked, clearly accusing the lime astronaut of being a murderer. 

“I was... doing the wires in electrical, Toast was there for a moment as well.”

“Yeah but I was only searching for the body, so I saw you maybe for a second” Toast replied, building even more suspicions around Sykkuno.

“But- guys, you know I wouldn’t kill two people in one round, let alone four of them.”

“No one says you did that, I only mentioned that you were nowhere to be seen. You could’ve been sabotaging the map for the other Impostor” Felix said nonchalantly.

“Guys, I-”

“It’s him! It must be him!” Rae shouted through her mic. 

“Sykkuno is 100% innocent, I can vouch for him” Y/N’s voice sounded out in everyone’s headphones “We were together since the start of the game and he didn’t kill me, even though he had quite a number of chances to do so.”

“Weren’t you with Corpse this time?” Felix asked suspiciously.

“I was! But at the beginning, I was with Sykkuno, until someone locked him in Cafeteria. That’s when we split up.”

“And you haven’t seen him ever since?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Then I can assure you it was only a matter of time before he’d stab you in the back” Toast concluded, making Sykkuno gasp in confusion.

“Wha- No, I would never do that! Y/N is our guest, I was just making sure she was okay!”

“Sykkuno, simping won’t save your life right now” 

“Wha- I- Guys!” he tried to stutter out some logical explanation “Y/N, don’t believe them!”

“I don’t, I know you’re innocent! C’mon guys, he wouldn’t do it!” 

“Yeah yeah, let’s kick him out. Corpse, who are you voting?” Toast asked, and Y/N could see the I voted sign next to his character. 

“I kinda feel like Felix tries to shift the blame onto Sykkuno. He didn’t even tell his location, and was already throwing accusations on someone else.” Corpse replied after a moment, making the smile widen on Y/N’s face. Someone was finally on her side! 

“That’s because he can’t even explain himself!” Felix exclaimed, voting as well. 

“Besides, I’m pretty sure if it wasn’t for whoever locked that door, Y/N would be dead as well!” 

“No, I told you I-!”

“Guys, we have ten seconds to vote. Rae?” 

“I think it’s him as well. He was acting suspiciously since we started this round. I vote Sykkuno”

“But..!” 

“No, Sykkuno...” Y/N whispered with a pout on her lips, when she saw the number of people who voted for her lime friend. 

Sykkuno was ejected. 

“Alright, I’m pretty sure it’s Felix. I saw Rae multiple times and she didn’t kill me, Toast also doesn’t act very Impostor like, but maybe that’s just one of his strategies... Corpse is with me again, I don’t think that’s him, I mean, he followed me around last round, but still didn’t do anything, and even vouched for me and Sykkuno when we were both clearly chilling in comms. It can’t be him... right?” 

 Dead body reported.

 “I just saw Corpse kill Toast, then vent!” Rae’s voice blared through Y/N’s headphones, as she looked in shock at the red cross next to Toast’s name. If not him, then..?

“What?” the accused man asked calmly “That’s a self-report, she’s trying to frame me. You guys can’t possibly believe her.”

“I believe her. I saw you enter the Electrical with Toast, then he’s suddenly dead” Felix said. 

“That’s because she vented in there and killed him.”

“No! I swear, Y/N/N you have to believe me!” she directed her words towards the girl who remained silent during their discussion, processing her accusations over and over in her head. “I was fixing the wires, Toast was doing another task, and then boom! I see Corpse snapping his neck!”

“How could you see that if the lights were off?” Y/N suddenly asked, making Rae cut her own sentence off “No one went to fix them, they were off the entire round.”

Silence. 

“It’s Rae, it must be her” Corpse couldn’t help but laugh wholeheartedly at how small was the mistake which completely blew Rae’s cover. “We’re voting Rae, right Y/N?”

“No! Guys, I mean, let me explain, I-!”

Rae was ejected. 

“Now that was something I didn’t expect. I would’ve never thought it was her, I even suspected that Sykkuno might really have been the other Impostor, but now... It’s just me, Corpse, and Felix. I’m clear, clearly, so it must be one of them. And since Corpse protected me for the past few rounds, there’s no other option than...”

Her eyes suddenly widened when the realization hit her, and she quickly turned around to speed towards the emergency button. Fortunately, no one was around to stop her from calling the meeting.

“Felix.” Y/N started, trying to contain her excitement and sound seriously “Where were you when Sean was killed?”

Neither Corpse of Felix said a word, as it was probably the last question they expected her to ask. Felix cleared his throat, however, and finally replied:

“Y/N, that was literally the beginning of a game. How am I supposed to remember what I did then?”

“Well” she said nonchalantly “I, for example, clearly remember the things you said even when we were in the lobby.”

“What are you implying?” 

“Wasn’t it you, who told everyone that Sean was your number one if you get Impostor?” she asked with a wicked smile on her face. Felix was dumbfounded, he obviously didn’t expect her to pull that card on him, hell, he didn’t even know how she knew about it since she wasn’t even in the call at the time. 

“FELIX” Corpse suddenly broke the silence, simultaneously breaking the said man from his train of thoughts. 

“Okay, first of all- YOU WEREN’T EVEN IN THE CALL WHEN I SAID THAT” he yelled through his mic, making both Y/N and Corpse laugh, as it only confirmed their suspicions. 

“See? You only proved my point.” 

“Oh, fuck’s sake- I was just joking okay?!” he tried to defend himself, but hearing how he couldn’t even contain his own laughter anymore, it was clear he already accepted the defeat. “It wasn’t serious, god damn it!” 

“You know what to do, Y/N” Corpse’s voice asked through her headphones, and surely, she knew exactly what to do.

“C’mon Y/N, that’s not fair! At least let me explain myself!” 

“Bye Felix” she said in an overly dramatic tone before Corpse voted as well. 

Soon enough, the sign VICTORY could be seen on her screen, which made her squeak and joy. This game was really fun, even though she was so scared of being killed first. 

“I knew it! I knew you would figure out it’s him! That son of a bitch who murdered me!” Jack basically yelled out, clearly very happy about the result. 

“Y/N, seriously now, how did you know I’ve said that?” Felix asked without even hiding his surprised tone.

“Let’s just say I might’ve stolen some of your viewers, Felix” she admitted, winking at her webcam, a new wave of comments landing on her chat. “Thanks guys!” 

“Okay, that is rude and not fair!” 

“It helped me win, so I’ve got nothing else to say” Y/N grinned from ear to ear, before muting herself for a moment to finally answer some of the questions from her chat, while the rest took a quick break to eat something or go to the bathroom.

She was halfway through telling the story of how she met Sean when she noticed she got a message from a private discord chat. 

CORPSE: That was really impressive :)

Y/N smiled to herself upon seeing his text and quickly typed out the answer. 

Y/N: Thanks!! I wouldn’t have done that without you though, you stood up for me and Sykkuno and all

Y/N: Also, thanks for protecting me from being murdered ^^

CORPSE: No problem, I knew you were innocent right away. 

CORPSE: Anyway, good game, Sean was right saying that you’re one of the best players

She couldn’t help the blush that arose on her cheeks, it was very sweet of him to say that, even though she didn’t actually do much except for exposing Felix. 

Y/N: I wasn’t an Impostor though, so you didn’t really see much :)

She watched the three dots beside his name, that signaled he was still texting. The chat was completely forgotten, but people seemed to quickly notice that small, shy smile on her lips, and the pink tint decoring her cheeks.

CORPSE: Okay, now I’m intrigued... 

Y/N: Maybe we’ll both be Impostors one day ^^

CORPSE: Can’t wait for that to happen.

Soon enough, they returned to the lobby to begin another game. Y/N glanced at her chat for a second, and the moment she returned her eyes to the game, her jaw basically dropped. 

IMPOSTOR was written in bold letters in the middle of the red screen, right above her name.

Corpse’s little character was standing beside her. 

[shespeaksinsongs]

🐇 Draco and y/n are the prince and princess of enemy kingdoms. Could you please do something like Draco being jealous and finally confessing to y/n?

I'm sorry, I'm not good at summaries ✌🏼🥲

join my fairy tale celebration! <3

It's okay, I think I got what you meant! Hope you like this!! It's a little long and I realize I haven't been putting cuts and it's probably really annoying for everyone who has to scroll, so sorry about that!! This was not proof-read!

Her lips were on his, but it wasn't because she wanted them to be. She needed them to be. This was the one way their kingdoms wouldn't fight.

Draco's fists balled up as he watched Cormac practically devour the princess, not having the slightest amount of gentleness at all, whatsoever.

"Do we," Y/N said in between each sloppy kiss Duke Cormac gave her, "have to do this in front of everyone?"

Cormac rolled his eyes as if she was being a nuisance. "How else will they know you're mine?"

"They'd know she's yours if you stopped treating her like a fucking object and looked her in the eyes when she talked." A silky voice said from behind Y/N - one she recognized too quickly for her taste.

Y/N turned around and quickly looked at the Prince that stood before her up and down. "Prince Draco." She said softly, curtseying.

"Princess." Draco offered, bowing down and kissing her hand.

Their kingdoms had been at warfare for the past few years. As a result, Draco and Y/N never had shared interests until they'd met just a few months prior to this interaction.

"Cormac." Draco said coldly, nodding his head as Cormac rolled his eyes again.

"Princess, I think it's in your best interest to come with me so we can discuss... business." Draco said, narrowing his eyes at Cormac.

Y/N really would have rather been in her own kingdom, working on her speech, but since she had to choose between the two, she chose the one who didn't kiss like his tongue was made of rubber.

As the prince led the princess away, he began asking questions. "Why him?"

"What do you mean?" Y/N asked absentmindedly, thinking about how quick he saved her from such an uncomfortable moment.

"Why did you choose him?" Draco reiterated his question, his eyes fixed on Y/N's.

Y/N shrugged slightly, her hand holding onto Draco's extended arm. "I didn't." She said, sighing. "It's in our kingdom's best interest to do business with his. This is just one way I could think of to ensure they don't leave us and become your ally." Y/N said, looking up momentarily to see the look on the blond's face.

He smirked and stuffed down a laugh. "Am I your enemy, Princess?"

Y/N smiled but didn't let it show too much when she put on a smug look. "Hm, I believe so."

Draco and Y/N walked through the halls of the big castle before Draco finally spoke what had been on his (and Y/N's mind). "Y/N, why don't you just surrender?" He asked, stopping in his place and turning to speak to the princess.

Y/N's face twisted as she began to think of what to say first. "Surrender? After all my kingdom has been through-"

"I'm not talking about your kingdom, Princess." Draco said. "Surrender to me." He elaborated, looking down at Y/N anxiously.

Y/N looked at her shoes as thoughts reeled in her mind. "I don't know, I guess I've just never thought of you like that before."

"Before?" Draco questioned, quirking a brow.

"Well, now..." Y/N said as Draco carefully backed her onto a wall.

"Now?" Draco went on, trailing his words to tease her.

"Now I'm beginning to see you a little different." She spoke softly before his lips were on hers, providing the relief both of them were seeking that night.

[taestefully-in-luv]

The Island | KTH (Fourteen)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 11.2k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption.

Notes: This chapter took forever for me to write but then suddenly I wrote it very quickly hahaha. Please look forward to the last arc of the story. Enjoy the chapter:) Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon @mawwnsterr @siredsong @happyhrsme @storms-and-stars-blog @mingi-banana @soeur-de-ame

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous---Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“A long, sweet night.”

“A long, sweet night.”

“A long, sweet night.” You decide to repeat out loud. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Well, you know what it could mean. But there’s no way, right? You hold your phone close to your face, your features lit up with the dim blue light. Your eyes squint as you read over his text again and again.

You start to feel the crushing weight of his text, his words causing an undeniable pain in your chest. Your heart beginning to become chipped away piece by piece, each letter of his words cutting at it.

“Now you fight.”

Your mother’s words echo in your mind, her words making you grip your phone tightly in your hand. She’s right. If you don’t fight then you’re running away aren’t you? This is the point. This is the point she is talking about, this is the point where if you do nothing you are now a coward.

“You did the work honey.”

Yes, you did. Growth is forever but you’ve come a long way. You think you have done enough. You are enough. You have done so much and you deserve this, you deserve a happy ending. An ending you have worked for.

You sit at your dining room table, your phone in hand still. You finally click it off and set it down onto the wooden table, it lands with a thump but you don’t even flinch. There isn’t currently anything you can say to him. You have no response. You know that was the end of the conversation. But you know this isn’t the end. It can’t be. It won’t be.

You stand from the table and drag your feet towards the living room and head towards the couch. It’s cold when you plop down onto it, the cushion doing nothing to make you feel comforted. A long, sweet night, huh? Well, you don’t want this sweet night to end.

~~~~~~

“y/n you’ve apologized like 8 times already,” Marcus chuckles, “You don’t have to say sorry anymore.”

“I know, I know.” You bring the croissant to your mouth and take a generous bite. “I really didn’t mean to run out on you though.”

It’s early the next morning, you are treating Marcus to breakfast as a way to apologize for running out on him the night before. He’s kind and understanding as usual.

“So you ever really going to explain?” Marcus murmurs as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Explain?” You peak over the croissant, your eyes finding his. “Explain what?”

“Come on.” He sets the coffee mug down, “Him. Tell me about the guy who…you know, has your heart or whatever.” Marcus looks down at his hands that are firmly gripping the mug, his cheeks turning a nice, soft pink.

“Oh.” You say, “That.”

Your eyes lower until they are set on the floor, you notice little things like the cracks in the tile. You finally bring the croissant back to the plate on the table, it’s half eaten state taunting you.

“Well,” your eyes find Marcus, “That’s a long story.” You admit softly.

“You gave me a very brief explanation the night I asked you out,” Marcus blinks at you, “But I don’t really understand the…depth…I guess you could say.”

“I kind of told you about the island…” That’s where you decide to start, “But I barely got into my trip to Korea.”

“Right.”

“Well, things didn’t go as smoothly as I had wanted.”

“Are you in love y/n?” Marcus turns redder than a ripe tomato. “You don’t have to an—”

“Yes.” You tell him bluntly. “I am.”

Marcus looks taken aback for a moment, his expression slightly surprised until it’s softening.

“I see. Well, it’s not like I didn’t know. But you two aren’t even talking right?”

“Right.” You admit, your breathing picking up just the slightest. “Barely, anyway.”

“He’s an idiot.” Marcus lets the words spill out between his lips.

“Why is that?”

“I just…I wouldn’t ever let…I would never let you go.” Marcus’s blush deepens as he avoids your eyes now. You can’t help but let a small somewhat pitiful smile paint itself on your lips.

“Well…” you bite down on your bottom lip, “It isn’t that easy.”

“Why not?” Marcus shakes his head. “If he really loved you—”

“Sorry Marcus.” You cut in. “But I think you are overstepping a little bit…”

Marcus scrunches his brows together.

“How so?”

“You don’t know the full story or his perspective.” You tell him, your eyes going back to the floor. “I’m not perfect in this.”

“You are perf—”

“No.” you say sternly, your hard eyes going back to his. “I’m not.”

You push the plate forward on the table, the sound of it gliding against the wood making you shiver.

“You just don’t…you don’t know what I put him through…” you say bitterly, “It wasn’t kind of me, I wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t the best, I wasn’t a lot of things. But I have accepted that and moved forward with that.” You tell him honestly.

“Shouldn’t he try harder…if he loves you?” Marcus raises his voice just the slightest, “If.”

“I don’t know how he feels anymore.” You feel yourself grow tired from this conversation, “But it doesn’t change things.”

“Sorry y/n.” Marcus looks down at his hands again. “I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have brought this up—”

“I talked to him last night.” You blurt out. “I want to see him. I want to try.”

“But why?” Marcus is growing tired as well. It’s clear he isn’t seeing things the way you do.

“Because he’s my soulmate.”

~~~~~~~

You lay on your stomach, the soft feeling of your bed making you feel so warm. Your phone is in your hands as you struggle to press the ‘call’ button. It shouldn’t be such a big deal, it’s just Yuna yet you are having a hard time.

“Come on y/n.” you whisper to yourself. “Come on.”

You nibble on your lips, waiting for your fingers to find the courage to press the god damn button. It shouldn’t be this hard, no. If it’s meant to be it should be easy.

You press the ‘call’ button and wait not so patiently as it rings and rings on speaker. She’s taking too long, you think. Then finally—

“y/n!!!” Yuna exclaims loudly, her voice booming throughout your small room. “What’s up girl!”

“Yuna…” you hesitate to say her name, “Your birthday…two weeks…”

“Yes?” She tilts her head to the side through the camera. “It is?”

“Is that offer still on the table?” you gulp. “For my flight.”

“Huh? You mean to fly you out here for my b-day?”

“Yeah…” You gulp again, “If it’s okay—”

“Wait!” Yuna yells out with an excited smile, “Jiwoo, get over here!!!!”

“Jiwoo is with you too?” You can’t help the small smile. “You should have said something.”

“Jiwoo! y/n wants to come for my birthday!”

“What???” Jiwoo’s voice is heard, “Eh?”

“y/n..” Yuna points the camera at her mouth, her lips curving into a wide smile. “You really want to come here?”

You nod your head eagerly, a timid expression on your face.

“I do. I want to see you and celebrate you, of course…but I also…” your words get quieter and quieter as you speak.

“You want to see him, don’t you?” Yuna asks softly, “I’m rooting for you.”

“Me too!” Jiwoo says with her fist in the air, “You got this!”

“Guys.” You whine cutely, “Thanks.”

You chat with your friends for a little while longer, you tell them all about Taehyung’s song and his words to you through text.

“It’s definitely not the end girl.” Yuna pouts, “You guys still have so much more to give…”

“It sounds like your mom really came through too…” Jiwoo points out, “She makes a good point.”

“Yeah,” you agree easily, “I just have to figure out where Taehyung stands in all of this.” You look down at the duvet that covers your bed. “I’m going to really put myself out there but there is a chance I will be rejected.” You tell them with a softness in your voice. “He is moving forward and that could really mean without me.”

“I hate to admit it but I think you are right.” Jiwoo murmurs, “He’s really put a lot of effort to move past everything.”

“I know.” You bite down on your lip, just hard enough that you feel something. “I know.”

“But don’t lose you momentum girl!” Yuna cheers you on, “He’s going to lose his mind when he sees you.”

“You think so?” You laugh lightly. “I think I might be the one who loses my mind.”

You swing your legs in the air back and forth until you lay them down on your bed. You nibble on your lips again as you think about it, seeing him. “Yeah. I’m going to lose it.” You laugh again.

“He hasn’t RSVP’d to my party yet…I’ll ask him about it this week when we all go out.” Yuna tells you with a tiny smile on her lips. “I won’t say anything about you coming.”

“Thanks…I’ll tell him myself.”

You finally bid farewell to your friends, clicking the end button on your screen and setting your phone down on your cozy bed. You’re really doing this. This is really happening. Does he really believe you two were just ships in the night? Was your time together really just the equivalent of a long, sweet night?

You roll off your bed and head towards your desk, you pull out your rolling chair and take a seat. Your desk is covered in papers from work, your journal, small decorations, a pile of glittery gel pens and a half drank Starbucks drink. It’s kind of a mess. You decide to clean up a bit and then take your journal and a purple glitter pen and start writing.

“Time and timing is everything in this universe. Everything pans out the way it’s meant to…I do believe that. I have to believe that. I have to have that kind of faith. But I can’t just stand by and let the universe do all the work, can I? I should put some level of effort too…right? Is time in my hands?”

You stop writing, the pen staying still, bleeding its purple ink into your paper. Is time in your hands? You bring the pen to your lips and chew on the end, your teeth digging into the plastic.

“Is it?” you repeat out loud.

~~~~~

Wow, you haven’t felt this nervous in a while. Your nerves are absolute killers right now. They are shaking you to your death and throwing you over a cliff, they are slapping you in the face repeatedly, they are making you feel so completely helpless.

Your hand trembles furiously as you hold your stupid phone, your whole body is vibrating in terror. You fly out in the morning and you haven’t told Taehyung that you are going to Korea yet. He has no idea that you two will be breathing the same air soon. You try your hardest to take a few deep breaths but you fall short, your breathing quick and sharp instead.

The boys promised not to say anything and you’re counting on it. Jimin is on the verge of tears from his excitement, he’s been waiting for you to visit for the past year. Jungkook is anticipating your arrival as well, his bunny grin imprinted in your mind when you told them you for sure were going. The rest of the guys cheered and sent you a million texts about how happy they are. Everyone knows about your upcoming arrival…everyone but him.

After staring at his message thread for what seems like an eternity you finally decide to chicken out. You click your phone off and throw it on your sofa, it slides against the cushions and somehow falls between the cracks. But you don’t care. You’re happy your phone is out of sight.

You decide to take a walk in the city, the evening air is brisk and the sky is glowing in pinks and purples. You tug your jean jacket closer together as you walk through a cool breeze, it feels nice actually. Like you can breathe again. Your phone is still lost between your couch cushions and you couldn’t feel happier about it.

You decide to stroll around until you find yourself at Cozy Coffee, the shop making you feel welcomed and at home. You head to the counter and order a latte, the warm drink making you melt into some slightly pathetic puddle. Only pathetic because at the end of the day you know you are just avoiding what you must do. But somehow you approve. You just want to enjoy this evening before your trip to Korea. You have no idea what this trip might hold. You have no idea of the experiences you will encounter. You just really have no idea.

You sip on your latte in the corner of the shop, your mind starting to ease as you down your drink. Are you really prepared for this? Are you ready to face him? To be honest, you haven’t even thought about what you might say…you just know the first step is seeing him. Face to face.

You finally head back to your apartment, the sky now lit up by the illuminating moon, guiding you on your path. You feel relaxed again, the moon giving you peaceful energy. You know this feeling is only temporary so you try to embrace it.

Your apartment is chilly inside, the air matching the air from outside. You head towards the thermostat and turn it up a few degrees. You rub your arms in attempt to warm yourself as you head towards you sofa, you look at it with disdain as you remember your phone hiding in its cushions.

You take a deep breath and lift one of the cushions up and search for the damned thing. Your hand finds it and you throw it on the other side of the sofa as you place the cushion back in its place. You finally take a seat and reach for your phone, you take another deep breath as you click it on, seeing you have a missed called from Jimin and also your mother.

You decide to call your mom first, you video chat her right away, waiting for her to answer.

“Hi sweetie.” Your moms voice comes through your phones speaker. “I tried calling a little while ago.”

“Sorry…” you mumble lamely. “What’s up?”

“I know you leave for your trip tomorrow and just wanted to see how you were doing.”

Your mouth opens a little…like you are going to speak but really it’s just from the pleasant surprise you are feeling from your mothers words. The past couple of weeks you two have been chatting more and more.

“I feel…” you feel your body tense, you try to take a deep breath but it feels mostly impossible. “Mom.” Your bottom lip begins to tremble, “I’m scared.”

“Things like this are scary honey.” She breathes out, her eyes soft and on you. “But you aren’t living life unless you are taking leaps of faith.”

“There is a strong chance he won’t want me.” You tell her, your breaths shaky. “Can I handle that?”

“Honey…” Your mom closes her eyes for a second before they’re back on you. “You can handle anything. I believe that. I know in the past…it might not have seemed that way but you’ve grown so much. You are so strong y/n. And I know you want to make things work…” she pauses as you try to calm your breathing, you are trying not to cry. “But…” your mother continues, “But you are complete on your own too. And you will find some epic love or whatever no matter with who. You deserve it so therefore you will have it.”

“He’s my love, mom.” You finally feel your eyes wet with tears. “He’s been my biggest supporter this whole journey and he doesn’t even know it.”

“Well y/n.” your mom exhales through her nose as she smiles for you, “It sounds like you have an important mission for this trip. I hope you really convey your feelings and most importantly…I hope you listen as well. Really listen. Listen to his thoughts and feelings too and be considerate.” She softly advises you. “Communication really is key.”

“I know…” you sniffle.

“Did you know…” your mother hesitates to continue, she exhales a long breath before setting her lips in a firm line. “Your father and I were close to divorcing around the time you were born.”

“Wait what?” you blink at the screen, feeling caught off guard.

Your mother slowly nods her head and closes her eyes.

“We just…didn’t feel like we were on the same page anymore. I didn’t know what he was thinking anymore and he had no idea what was going on in my mind either.”

You pull your brows together as you listen intently, your mom’s words making you feel a little anxious.

“We just didn’t click anymore, it felt like. We were struggling financially at the time and you were…an unexpected surprise. It truthfully further strained our marriage…” she tells you honestly. “But we loved you so much. It was the only thing holding us together.”

“How did you work things out?” you ask quietly.

“We talked. Really talked. I remember we went out on the patio after we put you girls to sleep and we just finally looked at one another and knew we had to have…you know, an important discussion.” She takes a moment to breathe evenly. “I finally let it all out…I told him about how lonely I had been feeling, I told him how I missed him…he was working a lot you know…I told him I just wasn’t happy anymore.”

You feel your heart ache a bit at her words, you never knew this about your parents.

“He ended up crying…nodding his head over and over and telling me he knows how I feel. Because he was feeling it too. The disconnect was hurting the both of us.”

“I had no idea…” you admit, still sniffling. “You and dad always seemed so…okay, all the time.”

“We didn’t want you girls to ever worry. Your father and I have shared bumps in the road but we found a way to cope. We expressed ourselves honestly, the vulnerability creating a closeness I cannot even begin to describe.”

“So you are saying…me and Taehyung—”

“You need to share everything…really everything. This is how you truly move forward.”

“Thanks for sharing that stuff about you and dad…”

“I want to help any way I can honey.” She smiles a smile you rarely see on her, it brings you automatic comfort. “Get some rest and let me know when you land. Goodnight.”

You agree and say your goodbyes to your mom as you both hang up. You sit on your couch still sniffling as you think deeply about what your mother shared with you.

After a few minutes you decide to clean your face with your sleeve and call Jimin back. The ringing only goes on for a second or two before he’s picking up.

“He isn’t going.” Jimin huffs on the video chat. “Said he isn’t in the mood to party.”

“Huh?” you blink at Jimin a few times before you’re realizing. “Oh.”

“You need to tell him you’re coming then maybe he will change his mind…”

“Yeah y/n!” You hear Jungkook yell over the phone, “tell him already! It’s killing me keeping this from him.”

“Well, first of all, hi guys.” You wave at the camera. “Second…” you chew on your lips. A horrible habit of yours, you know. “I will tell him when I get there.” You mumble.

“Oh my god, are you fucking kidding?” You hear Jungkook groan. “Just do it now.”

“Chill!” Jimin scolds Jungkook, “But he’s kind of got a point y/n…”

“Trust me…just let me tell him when I get there. Also, Jimin.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re sure it’s fine that I stay with you?” you look into his eyes through the camera and you see his thick lips curve into a wonderful grin.

“Of course my bff.”

“I want to stay over here too…” Jungkook grumbles, he finally shows himself on screen. “We can all have like a …slumber party or whatever.” His eyes slide to the side as he grows red with embarrassment.

“A slumber party?” Jimin begins to tease, “What are you, a 12 year old girl?”

“I happen to like the slumber party idea.” You nod your head approvingly.

“Seriously though y/n.” Jungkook’s eyes find yours. “Tell him you’re coming.”

“I will, I will.” You wave him off, “I’ll send a text before I fall asleep or something. Happy?”

“Yeah, a bit.” He smirks at you. “Right, Jimin?”

“Yeah.” Jimin grins again, “I’m really hoping for the best, girl.”

“Me too guys…me too.”

~

You double check to make sure you’ve packed everything for your week long trip, you then triple check just to be sure. You feel anxious again but somehow you feel okay at the same time. You think the talk you had with your mom kind of helped you.

You had no idea she and your father shared such “bumps in the road” as she had mentioned. Is talking it out really such a magical solution? Will you and Taehyung really be able to share everything…like everything, everything?

You take one huge deep breath as you pull your phone out…you find Taehyung’s name and begin writing your text.

y/n 9:04pm

I’ll be in korea for Yuna’s birthday. Will I see you there?

You quickly click your phone off and toss it to your bed and squeal. Yes, squeal. You finally did it. Now you wait for a response.

~

It’s 6 am and you are sitting on your flight waiting for takeoff, you stare at your screen as you see the fact that Taehyung read your message several hours ago. He left you on read. You could honestly throw up. You’re anxious all over again.

~~~~~~~

“You belong here!” Jimin is squeezing you so hard it’s almost crushing your very bones. “Just move here already.” He whines into your neck as he continues to embrace you. “Please.”

“My turn…” Jungkook huffs, “I said my turn!”

“Patience, brat.” Jimin teases as he leans away from you, his hands still on your arms. “So how was your flight?”

“You’re really going to try to have a whole conversation with her before I get to hug her? Really dude?” Jungkook shoves Jimin to the side before his arms wrap around you. You return his hug with your own arms circling his tiny waist.

“You missed me, Jungkook?” you inhale his scent, he smells of fresh laundry.

“Whatever.” He grumbles with a toothy grin. “So,” he pulls away from you and gestures you to come inside Jimin’s place. “How was the flight?”

“Long as hell. I’m glad to finally be here.” You walk through, setting your luggage in his walkway. “And I am so damn hungry.”

“Well, we can definitely order some food.” Jimin cheeses, “How does that sound?”

“Sounds perfect.” You take your shoes off and walk further into Jimin’s home. “Smells good in here.” You comment nonchalantly.

“I lit some candles before you got here.” Jimin scratches the back of his neck, “Wasn’t sure if you would like the scent so I blew them out.”

“No, no. I like it.” You find your way into his living room, his black leather sofas taking up much of the space. You find a spot near the window and take a seat.

“So, did you even tell Taehyung? We saw him earlier today and he didn’t say anything so I am assuming you didn’t tell him.” Jungkook says with a serious tone.

“Actually I did.” You pick at your nails, but raise your head as to not look bothered.

“Wait…really? He didn’t say anything?” Jimin questions with the tilt of his head.

“He left me on read.” You say as plainly as possible. “Guess he doesn’t want to see me.”

“He…he left you on…” Jungkook looks over at Jimin, their eyes meeting with curiosity. “But he….?”

“Yup.” You go back to picking at your nails, trying your best once again to look unbothered.

“Well!” Jimin claps his hands together, “What should we eat?”

A few hours pass, night time quickly approaching. You, Jimin and Jungkook wait for Yuna and Jiwoo to arrive at Jimin’s place. You three drinking soju, giggling while resting on the sofas when you hear knocking on Jimin’s front door.

Jimin hurries to answer when you hear the voices of your two friends echoing lightly throughout the place. Yuna appears first, she rushes to your spot on the couch, jumping on you and quickly embracing you. You can’t help but laugh out loud, inhaling her sweet, sweet scent as you two hug one another. Jiwoo joins you both by sitting next to you and wrapping her arms around you.

“H-Hi Jiwoo.” Jungkook quickly stands up when Jimin is coming to his side and nudging his shoulder.

“And Yuna.” He reminds him with his teasing voice.

“Right.” Jungkook clears his throat. “And Yuna. Hi.”

“Hey.” Jiwoo replies cooly, “You guys started drinking without us?”

“You guys took too long!” You slur happily. “We only have had a little, little.” You show her how little with your pointer finger and thumb.

“Sure Miss Drunkie.” Jiwoo laughs, “Yuna I think you can let her breathe now.”

“One more minute!” Yuna rubs her face on your shoulder as she continues to hug you. “Missed my y/n!”

“Yuna!” you giggle. “You have 5 more seconds!”

“Fine.” Yuna pouts dramatically, pulling off you. She sits on your other side and smiles up at you. Her hair is still a pale pink and her eyeshadow is a glittery art work. You look over at Jiwoo with her jet black hair, it’s gotten even longer.

“It’s good to see you guys.” You chirp, “And oh my god, two more days until your birthday!” you point at Yuna excitedly.

“I can’t believe your dad is letting you have your birthday party at the Mondrian.” Jimin takes a seat on the other sofa with Jungkook. “That place is so nice.”

“I’m spoiled.” Yuna sings, “So spoiled!”

“At least she admits it.” Jiwoo deadpans.

You start giggling some more, reaching for another shot of soju. You down it back and smack your lips in satisfaction.

“Yummy!” you sway into Yuna and Jiwoo. “You guys want to play a game?”

“Like what?” Jungkook asks. “I think Hobi said he wants to swing by.”

“Oh! Yay.” You chirp happily, “Can the rest of the guys not make it?”

“We’re meeting with everyone tomorrow Miss impatient.” Jimin takes his own shot of soju.

“But I want to see everyone now.” You jut your lip out. “Jungkook!” you stand up and stumble to where he’s seated. “Call em and tell em to come here. Now.” You plop down next to him. “Pretty please.” You lean into his shoulder and smile for him. Jungkook turns nice and rosy before he’s lightly pushing you away.

“You have to wait y/n.” he reminds you, avoiding your intense gaze.

“Jungkookie.” You whine, “I said pretty please.”

“Wow, she is drunk.” Jiwoo chuckles, “I love it.”

“Same.” Jimin’s eyes turn to crescents as he grins. “She is so…free.” He says quieter, “She’s changed so much.”

“Jungkookie!” You lean into his space again, your big eyes blinking up at him over and over until he’s groaning.

“Fine!” he throws his hands up, “Who should we call first?”

You end up calling the rest of the guys and chatting for a while, your drunken state only worsening. But it’s nothing but a good time. Jimin ends up tucking you in his kind size bed, he brushes the hair out of your face and watches you fondly as you snore in your sleep. He’s so proud of you. Jungkook walks into the bedroom as well and he shares a knowing look with Jimin and Jimin’s smile fades into a frown.

“Want to have a beer on the patio?” Jungkook nods towards outside the room.

“Sure.” Jimin takes one last look at you before he’s leaving you to sleep. Jimin and Jungkook walk past the sofa where Yuna and Jiwoo are knocked out, cuddling each other for warmth. They make their way outside and take their seats on the patios chairs.

“So.” Jungkook pinches his brows together, “He didn’t say anything to us.”

“I know.” Jimin’s frown only deepens. “He’s probably taking his time to process her arrival, you know?”

“Is it that simple?” Jungkook brows pull together even further. “He’s doing so well and maybe he…”

“He just needs time Jungkook. I know him.”

“I know him too Jimin and he acted like she didn’t reach out to him? That’s not…I don’t know, concerning to you?”

Jimin stares straight ahead, bringing his beer to his lips. He takes a few gulps before facing Jungkook.

“Yeah.” He admits. “It is.”

~

The next morning is horrific, the hangover you have is probably literally killing you. Your head is absolutely pounding and your body feels weak. But you have to admit the sheets in this bed feel amazing so you are tempted to stay here forever—or at least until this killer hangover disappears.

“y/n. It’s like 2pm.” You hear Jungkook’s voice hammer in your ears. “Get up!”

“Nooooooo.” You groggily whine, pulling the sheets up over your head. “Want to stay here forever.”

“Brought you some water girl.” Jimin’s angelic voice is heard, he’s gently pulling the sheets down and exposing your tired as hell face.

“Drink it slowly.” He sweetly advises, “And here’s some pain killers.” He hands you two pills and you eye him up before taking them gratefully.

“Thanks…” you murmur. “Holy hell, soju is no joke.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook laughs. “But you hung in there!”

“Where are Yuna and Jiwoo?” you pop the pills in your mouth and drink back some water. The refreshing beverage already making you feel a little more alive.

“They left hours ago!” Jungkook continues to laugh, “You slept through it.”

“Damn.” You grumble, “Wait!” you suddenly raise your head up. “Aren’t the guys getting here at 3 today?”

“Yes.” Jimin smiles, “So maybe you want to shower….and get ready.”

“O-Okay.” You agree, you pull the sheets back off your body and rise from the bed, the room starts to slightly spin and you whine. “I am not drinking this much ever again!”

“You say that now. But Yuna’s party is open bar so.” Jungkook winks.

You gag just at the thought of drinking more alcohol. You drag your feet towards Jimin’s bathroom and your hand reaches for the shower knob and you turn it on, letting the water warm up.

“Okay, I’ll get ready! You two shoo.”

The shower is exactly what you needed, the warm water making you feel relaxed and comfortable. You’re grateful that Jimin is letting you stay at his place for a whole week…you really wish you saw them more often. You really wish you lived here sometimes.

You admittedly love it here…you enjoy your life back home too, don’t get it wrong but something about this place that feels so fitting.

“Almost done in there?” You hear Jimin softly knock on the bathroom door. “Jin says they’re on the way.”

“Be right out!” you call back out. “Almost done.”

You take a look in the mirror and you think to yourself about how nicely you clean up. You got some ripped jeans and a black long sleeve shirt, some light make up and two clips in your hair. You look cute as hell actually.

“Okay. Time to see my friends.” You give yourself an awkward thumbs up in the mirror before you’re chuckling. “Should I practice my Korean on them?” you ask out loud. Then you nod your head and give yourself another thumbs up before you step out of the bathroom, walk through Jimin’s room and enter the living room.

“About time lady!” Jungkook snickers, “What the hell were you doing in there?”

“You shouldn’t ask a girl that!” Jimin swats Jungkook’s arm. “Feeling better y/n?”

“Loads!” you walk towards them and find a place on the couch. “Are they almost here?”

Suddenly, there’s excessive knocking on the front door. You three whip your heads in the direction and you jump up in delight. You race Jungkook to the door and swing it open and as soon as you do so many arms are reaching out to hold you.

“y/n!!!!” Hobi is the first to wrap his arms around you so tightly, he sways your bodies back and forth. “I missed you so much.” He finally lets go when Jin is automatically pulling you into his chest.

“Your favorite one is here now.” He jokes as he squeezes your smaller body.

“Uh have you guys ever stayed up all night on the phone sharing writing tips for hours? I don’t think so.” You hear Namjoon say teasingly. “Come here you.” He’s dragging your arm until your body is being engulfed by his. “About time you visited.”

“Hey, we don’t have any say on y/n’s timing to come here. What matters is that she is here now.” Yoongi stands to the side, waiting for his turn. “But I would like a hug too.” He smiles that gummy smile and you giggle. You leave Namjoon to give Yoongi a tight embrace, he rocks your bodies back and forth before he’s letting go altogether.

“Good to see you y/n.” he says.

“You too. All of you.” You look at the boys, “You have no idea how much I missed you guys. Talking through the phone just isn’t enough, is it?”

“You could always move here.” Hobi offers with a teasing smile. “But you know that already.”

“She does know that!” Jungkook yells over the chatter. “But she’s a scaredy cat.”

“Hey.” You pout towards Jungkook. “Am not.”

“Then move here.” Jimin gives you his best sly smile, “You can live with me.”

“As tempting as that sounds,” you giggle, walking into the kitchen with the guys following behind you.

“Ah y/n, I think your phone is ringing.” Jin points towards the device on the counter. “Should I answer it?”

You raise your brows and head to the counter to see who is calling. Marcus.

“Oh hold on, let me take this.” You announce to everyone before answering your phone,

“Hello?”

“Hey. Just wanted to check in on you.” You hear Marcus’s raspy voice on the other end. “How is it?”

“Good, good. The flight was good. I’ve just been hanging with everyone. Actually I’m with everyone now…can we talk later?” you mumble into the phone.

“Oh.” Marcus chuckles, “Sure. Call me later?”

“Yeah.” He hears the smile in your voice. “I’ll call you later.” And then you’re quickly hanging up, bringing the phone back to the counter. It’s oddly quiet in the house.

“What?” You ask with big eyes, blinking at everyone. They all give you a curious look before you scoff.

“He’s just a friend.” You say sternly. “So stop whatever ideas your guys are all getting in your silly little heads.”

“Just friends….” Namjoon nods his head slowly. “Right.”

“I’m serious.”

“She’s ‘serious’ mhm.” Jungkook nods his head mockingly. “Right.”

“I am!” you groan, “Seriously.”

“She said they’re just friends, guys.” Yoongi puts a hand on your shoulder, “Right?”

“Right.”

“Right.” Jin nods his head quickly.

“Right.” Hobi gives you a thumbs up before he’s giving you one of his signature grins.

“Well,” Jimin comes up to you and reaches for your hand and squeezing it, “y/n is here guys. Let’s make the most of this week. Tomorrow is Friday, aka Yuna’s extravagant birthday ball and we have a lot of catching up to do.”

~~~~~~~

You lay in bed after a long day of hanging with your friends, your phone up to your face as you stare at the screen that mocks you. He read your message and just…never replied. You are trying your best to feel okay but now that you lay alone you start to feel the loneliness creep up. Does he not want to see you? Is he afraid to see you?

You exit your message threads and go to your photos…you find the selfies from your date and you stare and stare at the screen. He’s so strikingly handsome. You feel your chest tighten as you continue to gaze at the photos, you feel your heart squeeze in your chest. Suddenly there is knocking on the bedroom door and Jimin is walking in…you’re quick to click your phone off and pretend you just weren’t staring at the man you love.

“Hey.” Jimin greets you softly. “You still awake?”

“Yeah…” you turn over to face him, you scoot over and pat the spot next to you and he takes the invitation to slide in the sheets.

“How are you doing?” Jimin asks suddenly, his tone is warm and comforting and you almost burst into tears at his question but instead you clear your throat and nod your head a few times.

“Good.” you lie.

“y/n…” Jimin breathes out slowly, “Really. How are you?” his eyes are full of fucking pity and it’s driving you to feel like a god damn burden.

“I said I’m good.” But your voice cracks, and he’s already pulling you into his chest.

“y/n…” he holds you tight as you try to even out your breathing. “I talked to him today.”

“He’s…” you hiccup, “He’s going to come. I know it.” You say into Jimin’s chest. “I know it. Even if he doesn’t reply to me, he’s going to go to the party.”

“…He…said he isn’t going.” Jimin tells you regretfully. “He seemed pretty serious.”

“No.” you sniffle now, “He’s going.” You feel your eyes sting as you try to blink back growing tears. “He’s going.” You repeat pathetically.

“Okay, okay.” Jimin begins rubbing your back. “Okay.”

“I just need a chance Jimin.” You hiccup again, “A chance to show him that I…” your breathing picks up even more, your sharp breaths concerning Jimin.

“Just relax…” He continues to rub your back, “I’m here.”

“Jimin…” your voice cracks again but this time because of a quiet sob that finally breaks through. “I miss him so much.” You cry.

“I know girl.” His soft voice making you feel comforted. “I’m holding onto hope too.” He tells you, his tender tone only making you cry harder.

“Fuck…” you sob into his chest. “I miss him so fucking much.”

You eventually fall asleep in Jimin’s arms after you spent some time crying it out. Jimin has a hard time knocking out, his mind too busy with thoughts of you and Taehyung.

~

“You look absolutely gorgeous.” Jimin has stars in his eyes as he looks at you, “Right, Jungkook?” he hits Jungkook’s arm and Jungkook awkwardly clears his throat.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Thanks guys.” You tug on the material over your stomach and frown. “Are you sure though? This dress looks fine on me?”

“Absolutely. Gorgeous.” Jimin repeats. “Stunning.”

“He’s right.” Jungkook shrugs. “You do look nice. Or whatever.”

“Fine, I guess I will have to believe you two. You also look nice.” You gesture towards the two men in suits. “This is about to be super fancy isn’t it?” you pinch your brows together as you chuckle. “Yuna really went all out.” You look up at the building. The Mondrian is a beautiful hotel, very luxurious. You three step through the rotating doors and enter the main building.

“She can go all out when she’s got daddy’s money.” Jungkook big doe eyes look around him, he’s in awe of the hotel, that much is clear.

“Should we find the conference room and find the bar and you know, start drinking?” your eyes scan around, noticing all the people dressed up walking to the elevators. “She said it’s on the 3rd floor right?”

“What happened to no more drinking?” Jungkook nudges your shoulder. “But hell yeah, let’s go.”

“I second that.” Jimin links arms with you and Jungkook, leading the way towards the elevators.

You three find the conference room and your eyes grow twice their size. This room is huge, many tables set up, people dancing to loud music, the bar is poppin with lines of people waiting for a free drink, it’s beyond what you imagined.

“y/n!!!” You hear the high pitched voice of no other than Yuna. She looks so beautiful it actually feels blinding. Her deep green gown, her pale pink hair, her subtle yet gorgeous make up. She looks like a fairy princess. Jiwoo follows closely behind, a bold, blue dress with her hair pinned up. She looks like a model out of a magazine.

“You look amazing.” Yuna points at you, her eyes full of genuine surprise. “Like, what the heck?” she looks you up and down, her hands motioning towards your body.

“This dress is so…” She blinks at you repeatedly, “Do a turn for me!”

You giggle, feeling a bit shy but you do a little twirl. Yuna pretends to faint.

“AND IT’S BACKLESS?! You’re killing me!” she yells out dramatically. “Jiwoo are you seeing this?!” “You do look so pretty.” Jiwoo chuckles. “Yuna, can you ever compliment someone more normally?”

“You like the way I compliment.” Yuna raises her head up. “You know it’s true.”

“You literally pretended to have a heart attack when you saw me tonight.” Jiwoo deadpans, “who does that?”

“Girls who recognize real beauty.” Yuna states matter of fact. “And girl, you are beautiful.”

“Shush.” Jiwoo’s cheeks begin to heat up, you can’t help but giggle at the interaction.

“You both look lovely.” You tell them sincerely. “And happy birthday Yuna.” You lean in for a hug, its tight and quick and you’re pulling away much faster than Yuna’s liking,

“Thanks girl.” She smiles for you. “You really do look so nice y/n…are you hoping to see T—”

“Yuna.” Jiwoo warns, “Let’s get a drink?”

“Yeah, let’s do that.” You say, “Where did Jimin and Jungkook go?” you finally notice they’re absence.

“Probably to their table. With the rest of the guys.” Yuna tells you while she starts leading you girls towards the open bar. “Shots?” She smirks towards you two. “It’s my birthday so you can’t say no.”

“Fine. But you’re trying to kill me.” You laugh, “I’m going easy tonight.”

“One shot.” Yuna pouts cutely, “But you!” She points at Jiwoo. “You have to take two with me.”

“Fine by me.” Jiwoo shrugs. We both know between the two of us, it’s me who’s taking care of you and your drunk ass tonight.”

“Counting on it.” Yuna blows Jiwoo a kiss.

“Ugh, let’s do this.”

You girls wait for the shots, taking them quickly once they’re in your hands. The burn is exactly what you needed to loosen up. You’re nervous tonight. You’re anticipating Taehyung’s arrival. Yes, he never replied to you. Yes, he told Jimin he wasn’t coming. But you feel it in your bones…he’s coming tonight. He wants to see you as bad as you want to see him. At least that’s what you are hoping for.

“You’re too good of a dancer Hobi, I can’t keep up with you!” you whine loud enough for him to hear you over the music.

“You’re doing great!” he tells you, his hands on your waist. “Just move to the music girl!”

“Easier said than done.” You laugh loudly, “Hey, what time is it?”

“Hm..” Hobi lifts his left wrist to look at his watch. “Almost 12.” He tells you.

It’s almost 12? And he’s still not here? No, you know he’s coming. He has to. He will. You feel your chest close in on you, and your heart thumping wildly. You know you’re going to see him tonight. You know it. You excuse yourself and head towards the doors of the conference room. You walk past Jimin who suddenly frowns as he realizes you’re heading out the doors, he tries calling out for you but you ignore him. He doesn’t think Taehyung is going to show up.

But you know.

You stand in the hallway in front of the elevators for who knows how long, you shift from one foot to the other as you wait anxiously. The party is still going hard, but you’ve tuned it all out. The only thing you hear is Taehyung’s deep voice. It plays in your mind, him saying something as simple as your name. You wish you were hearing it for real. You hear the ding of the arriving elevator and go rigid.

The sharp intake of breath your weak body just sucked in has you feeling tense. You knew you were going to see him…you knew this was going to happen but here you are, trying so hard to even out your breathing as you await his arrival. No amount of journaling could calm you, relax you, give you a sense of peace. No amount of alcohol could make you feel looser.

“Jimin just told me…” Yuna catches up to you, out of breath. “y/n…” your name leaves her mouth with pity, “I don’t think he’s going to come.”

“He will.” You say, standing your ground outside the elevator. “He will.”

“At least wait inside…” She gestures towards the conference room, where the party is. “It looks lonely waiting out here.”

Your eyes fall to the tiled floor, the shiny cream colored squares showing a vague reflection of yourself. Maybe it is lonely.

“Okay…” You turn around to face Yuna, a tired smile working itself on your lips. “Let’s dance?”

“Yeah.” She offers a drunk smile.

Then you hear the elevator doors opening, you whip your head in the direction of the doors but inside is only unrecognizable faces.

“Let’s go.” You tell her, trying your best not to feel so disappointed.

You both walk into the room again, the music blaring and the sight of sweaty bodies grinding against one another.

“I need a drink.” You take a deep breath before heading towards the bar. You find yourself downing shot after shot.

“Hey, slow down.” Jungkook’s voice cuts in through the booming music. “Don’t want you to like, throw up.”

“Hey Jungkook…?” You hand him your drink, getting it away from you. “You’re always straight up…”

“Don’t do this.” Jungkook warns you softly, “Not now.”

“Is Taehyung—”

“Is Taehyung…what?” A new voice cuts in, a voice you know all too well. It’s deep, deeper than the fucking ocean. It’s smooth, its charming, You feel your breath get caught in your throat as your ears process the voice they heard. You struggle for a moment, but you finally tilt your head to the side and your eyes narrow at the tall figure.

“Am I what?” he repeats.

Finally, a small gasp leaves your lips as your eyes widen in genuine shock. You knew he would come tonight yet somehow you are as surprised as Jungkook next to you. You don’t notice but Jungkook nods his head towards Taehyung and walks away, leaving you two.

“T-Taehyung…?” you blink over and over, not believing your eyes. “What are you—”

“I’m here to see you.” He tells you bluntly. “And my god woman, you are a sight for sore eyes.” He all but whispers, his expression stiff as he eyes you.

“Taehyung.” You release the shakiest breath as you repeat his name.

“Hi y/n.”

You straighten yourself, trying to show off the fact that you aren’t totally drunk. You look all around the slightly spinning room and search for faces you know. Finally, your eyes lock with Jimin’s. He looks worried but he quickly tries to smile for you. You look panicked to say the least. The room is crowded, loud, hot and sweaty. But all of that fades away when the scent of Taehyung fills your nostrils. You take a second to notice he has stepped forward until he is right in front of you.

“y/n.” he says your name as a command. Your frantic eyes find his and you feel the whole room freeze.

Taehyung studies you, his focused eyes scanning every inch of your body. You watch as he lifts a hand and reaches behind you. Then suddenly you are feeling light fingertips tracing your down your spine. His fingers barely skid across your exposed skin and you slowly close your eyes at the contact. Your breathing slowing as well.

Taehyung’s fingers glide back up your back, his touch so light like he almost wasn’t even touching you. His serious expression beginning to soften as he brings his hand back to his own body.

“This dress is like the one you wore on the island.”

“You like it.” You whisper.

“Yes.” He admits, you two gaze into one another’s eyes until he finally looks off to the side.

“Should we talk?” he asks you, “Or are you too drunk?”

“No, no.” you shake your head, “Let’s talk.”

Taehyung looks you over one last time before nodding his head and turning around to head towards the exit. You gulp as you watch his broad back…you hurry to follow him.

Taehyung glances behind him and he exhales a long breath when he sees you rushing after him, he looks forward again until he’s reaching the elevators.

“Come on.” He gestures towards the open elevators.

You walk quickly, reaching him and the elevator before you’re going inside. He follows you in.

“Taehyung—”

“Wait until we are downstairs.” He cuts you off softly.

“Okay…”

The ride is silent. But your mind is as loud as shrieking ghosts, ghosts that want to haunt and traumatize you. You finally hear the ding, signaling your arrival to the first floor.

“Come on.” He tells you, his voice booming throughout the small space. “Follow me.”

You do as he says, you follow him. Truthfully, you would follow him anywhere. Even to the ends of the Earth.

“Yes, hi.” Taehyung begins speaking to the front desk lady. “I want a room, please.”

Wait, a room? You’d follow him anywhere but a room?

“Taehyung—”

“It’s just so we have privacy.” He assures you, not even looking in your direction.

“It’s expensive…” you slur. “We can just talk outside.”

“It’s fine.” He hands the lady his card, “Which floor?”

“6th floor.” She informs him with a bright smile.

Your eyes find your shoes, somehow they’re more fascinating than anything else suddenly. Then you feel the warmth of Taehyung’s hand wrapping itself around yours, his fingers struggling to intertwine with your own. But then you finally receive the hint and allow him to hold your hand.

“You’re drunk, y/n.” he says, voice laced in disappointment, “I’m sorry for making you wait.” He leads you back to the elevators. You two walk inside and he let’s go of your hand, he runs his fingers through his smooth hair and sighs out in defeat.

“You should just get some sleep.”

“I want to talk.” You slur again, “I have…I have so much to say.”

“We’ll see.” His low voice rumbles. “We’ll see.”

The ride up to the 6th floor is long, but you finally make it out of that small space and stumble towards your room.

Taehyung unlocks the door and you make your way inside…the view is amazing. The city is quite the sight.

“Take your shoes off, I’m sure your feet hurt.” Taehyung loosens up his tie.

“They do.” You admit in a whine.

Taehyung takes a seat on the edge of the made bed and watches you with intense eyes as you get comfortable.

“C’mere.” He pats the spot next to him.

Suddenly you become very shy. You haven’t felt this kind of tension in so long. His eyes boring into every inch of your skin, his eyes trailing along your body and making you feel exposed. Making you feel naked.

“Okay.” You nod your head slowly, “I can do that.” You take your time walking to him, sitting next to him on the bed.

“What is it you want to tell me?” Taehyung gets straight to the point.

“Uh….umm…”

“Words y/n.” he closes his eyes for a brief second, then his sight is back on you. “Why did you want to see me?”

“Taehyung.” Saying his name feels so…exhilarating. You’ve avoided it for so long but now you can say it and it feels like freedom and it tastes so, so sweet on your tongue.

“I don’t know where to start.” You admit. “I didn’t rehearse…”

For the first time tonight Taehyung’s face splits into a small smile as he quietly chuckles.

“Rehearse?”

“Yeah…I didn’t practice what to say.” You slur cutely.

“Just let the words flow naturally.” His eyes light up in slight amusement. “What is it you want to tell me?”

“I miss you.” You blurt out, your hand immediately going to cover your mouth as if you said curse words.

“You miss me?” he repeats your words, “Is that so?”

You slowly lower your hand that covers your mouth and nod your head.

“Yes.” You close your eyes and tilt your head back. “This past year…”

“What about it?”

“This past year I…”

“You?” Taehyung raises a curious brow, “You what?”

“I think I’ve become better.” You slur out your words, “I’m better now.”

“Yeah?” Taehyung asks, his voice low. “I’m happy for you.”

“Taehyung.” You lower your head and open your eyes. They stare straight ahead. “Can we make this work?” your words jumble together as you try to speak. Those last shots sneaking up on you.

“I’ve decided that this conversation is going to have to wait.” Taehyung stands from the bed, “I’m going to get you some water.”

You watch as he walks towards a counter and pours you a glass of water, he comes back and places the cup in your hands. “Drink.” He says softly. “Please.”

“O-Okay.” You bring the cup to your lips, your eyes never leaving his as you gulp back some of the liquid.

“Good girl.” He whispers. “Now, I want you to get some sleep.”

“Are you sleeping with me?” you hiccup.

“No.” he tells you with a tender voice, “But I will stay here until you fall asleep, how about that?”

“Okay….”

Taehyung watches you carefully as you lay down on the bed, your head falling onto the fluffy pillow and your eyes closing almost immediately. He softly groans when you begin snoring only minutes later…his eyes never leaving you.

You’re going to be in Korea? For Yuna’s birthday? Taehyung reads your text like he’s on repeat. He is feeling an array of emotions, he feels good things, bad things, things in the middle. But the bad things…aren’t even very bad. It’s just anxiety…and doubt. Maybe it is that bad.

Taehyung decides not to reply not until he’s talked to his therapist, he wants to thoroughly discuss this over and come to a smart decision. But his heart is fucking fluttering at the thought of seeing you. He really misses you. But are either of you ready to face the other?

The next day Taehyung gets to the old man’s office, waiting patiently outside the door until he gets the signal he can go in. Where does he start? Does he just show the text to his therapist? Does he talk about something else first before nonchalantly bringing you up and this text that is haunting him?

“y/n texted me.” He decides to be straight forward, as usual.

“Ah, really?” the old man peeks at Taehyung through his glasses that rest lowly on his nose. “What did she say?”

“She’s coming here. She asked if she will see me.”

“And will you see her?”

“I…I don’t know.” Taehyung admits between a long breath, “I really don’t know.”

The old man nods his head in quiet understanding, he jots down some notes on his notebook with his pen.

“Taehyung.” The man stops writing his notes to get a look at Taehyung, “What do you want from her? If anything at all.”

“I just want her to live a good life.”

“That’s not what I asked. I asked what you want from her?”

“I don’t know anymore.” He tells the old man, his voice low.

“It’s okay not to know. You don’t have to see her if you aren’t ready, you know?”

“I don’t?” Taehyung asks, but then his lips curve upward like he realizes how silly his question is. “I know.” He nods his head, “But it’s not like I don’t want to see her. I do.”

“Then—”

“But I don’t know how to prepare for that. I don’t know how to face her. What will we even talk about? Why does she want to see me? Is she just being polite because we share the same friends? That she knows she’s bound to run into me? Or is it because she does want to see me? But why? Why?” Taehyung begins to ramble. “Can we coexist? Is this just about coexisting? Is that about us? Her and I? Is this about what we can maybe be? But how do either of us know we are ready for that?”

“Ah, that.” The old man sighs out, taking his glasses off. “I know it may seem like cliché words…but you will just know.”

“You’re right. Those are cliché words.” Taehyung says with a straight face.

“But they are a classic for a reason, you know?” The old man points out with a chuckle. “You will feel it. You will feel it in every fiber of your being of what the right thing to do is. You will feel it. Your bones will tell you. Your heart will tell you. You will realize how simple and easy it is to just know.”

“But I don’t know?”

“Because maybe it isn’t time for you yet to be aware. But the time will come.”

“I think for now…I need time to think. I didn’t have enough time to prepare for this.” Taehyung says honestly. “This is too sudden.”

“You have every right to feel that way.”

“But how does she feel?” Taehyung becomes worried, his soft expression becoming more and more serious.

“We’re here to focus on you.” The old man reminds him gently. “In the end, I believe you will do what you think is best. You will do what you think is right. And coming to those type of conclusions takes time.”

Taehyung sits down in a chair across from the bed, gazing at you as you sleep. He thought seeing you would give him the answers he needs but he’s still lost. It took a lot for him to show up here…it took a lot for him to gather the courage to face you. He thought for sure once he saw you he would know everything. He would feel what to do. But seeing you here only confuses him further. What does he want? What is he ready for? Does he even know you anymore?

Finally, Taehyung stands up from the chair and walks to your side of the bed. He reaches his hand to gently stroke your cheek before he’s leaving the room. Leaving you. He sends a text to Jimin letting him know your room number and that you’re fast asleep. Then he is heading back home.

~~~~

“A movie night?” you tilt your head to the side, “I don’t know…can we just—”

“It’ll be a good way for everyone to unwind from last night’s partying!” Jimin whines, “Please! I promise you can choose the first movie.” He offers with a sweet smile.

“Jimin I don’t know…if I’m up for this after last night…”

“Oh? Didn’t I tell you?” the corner of Jimin’s mouth curves upwards. “He said he was going to come tonight.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, said he wanted to hang with everyone. Guess that includes you.” Jimin points out knowingly. “You said you guys didn’t really get to talk so maybe…”

“I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“But you said you were going to give it your all right? This is an opportunity.”

“Oh…” you start pulling at the ends of your hair, “That’s true.”

“So movie night?”

“Movie night.”

You and Jimin clean up his place as you wait for everyone’s arrival. Hobi and Yoongi show up first, then Namjoon and finally Jungkook and Jin. Taehyung still hasn’t shown up and you guys are about to play your first movie. You wonder if he is really coming.

“He’s coming, I just talked to him on the way here.” Jungkook assures you. “Relax.”

“I am relaxed.” You lie, “You relax.”

“He went last night…that’s a good sign, right?”

“I don’t know.” You admit honestly. “We didn’t get to talk.”

Suddenly, you hear the front door unlocking and opening up. You guess he has a key. You freeze on the sofa, you can hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears. He’s here.

“Hey guys.” You hear his deep voice rumble. “I’m here.” He announces but you keep your eyes on the TV. You feel his footsteps get closer and closer, the pitter patter against the wooden floors making you so anxious.

Then you see his figure in your peripherals, he’s standing on the side of the couch, facing you.

“Hi y/n.”

You gulp, your eyes still on the TV when you remind yourself you’re a brave girl. You slowly turn your head to face him, your wide eyes finding his face. His hair is shorter than you remember, still a bit wavy and still dark. He looks so handsome, so mature. He’s got on some comfortable looking pants and a printed button up, his hands in his pockets as he looks down at you.

“Hi.” You squeak.

“Can I sit next to you?” he asks, his low voice barely heard by the others. “If it’s okay…”

“Yeah!” you rush to scoot over, making room for him. “Sit, sit.”

Taehyung gives you a wide boxy grin and nods his head quickly, he takes a seat next to you, his shoulder bumping yours. Fuck, you feel like you’re in middle school. His shoulder is like, fucking heaven or some shit.

“What movie did you guys decide on?”

“I don’t know, something random.” You tell him nervously. “It just started. You haven’t missed much.”

“I don’t think I’ll be paying much attention to the movie anyway.” Taehyung whispers, his warm breath fanning your cheek from how close he is.

“Oh?” you gulp. “Jimin says it’s good though.”

“I’m not really here for the movies, you know?” He leans into you a little bit and you feel a harsh, harsh blush creep up on your heated cheeks. His fingers find your knee and he taps against your jeans. “Can we talk outside?”

“The—The movie….” You whisper, pointing at the screen. “Let’s just watch the movie for now.”

Shit, you haven’t felt this nervous under his gaze in his long. His eyes study you as you watch the film. You can feel his intense gaze. You can feel how he just stares at you from time to time.

You aren’t sure why you are chickening out…maybe because you’re embarrassed about being drunk last night. How you asked if you guys could work on it, but he said he wanted to save this talk for later. It’s just making you more and more nervous.

“This movie is boring.” Jin yawns. “Let’s pause and order some food? Also let’s go to the store and get some beer?”

“Dude yes!” Hobi agrees, “I’ll go. Who wants to come with me?”

“I’ll go with you.” Namjoon raises his hand.

“You’re right I need your muscles to help me.”

“I’ll order the food!” Jimin offers but Jungkook is quick to volunteer as well, something about not trusting Jimin to get all the good meats.

“Sounds good.” Yoongi brings out his phone and starts playing on it.

Taehyung glances over at you and nods towards the patio.

“Shall we?” he begins standing up, he faces you and extends his hand out for you to take. You hesitate but you take it. The warmth of his hand sending tingles all throughout your body, you wonder if he feels it too.

He leads you out to the patio and you both take a seat across from one another. You nervously shake your knee up and down and Taehyung can’t help but chuckle.

“Will you calm down?” He insists, “You’re the one who wanted to talk, remember?”

“I know.” You find his beautiful, brown eyes. “I do.”

“Then talk.” He gestures for you to go on.

“Taehyung.”

“Yes?”

“How has your year been?” this is where you decide to start.

“Hard. Good. Worth it.” He leans back in the chair, “I struggled some days more than others but mostly…really good.”

“Do you think you could…be honest with me? Be open with me?” you nibble on your lips, your knee continues to shake.

“How so?”

“Can you tell me all about your year, what you went through, how you felt. Your feelings in general. Could you do that? With me?”

Taehyung blinks at you in surprise for a few seconds before he is closing his eyes altogether. He leans even further back in his chair and takes a deep breath.

“You want to know me again?” he whispers out. “You want to know me?”

“Yes. And I want you to know me in return.” Your shaking knee finally comes to a stop as you drag your chair closer to his. “I want to…really talk. About everything. I want to understand you. I want…”

“I understand.” Taehyung nods his head before opening his eyes again, they find yours and you’re intimated by his gaze. He observes you for a while, his serious expression making you nervous again.

“What do you want from me?” He asks bluntly. “What is your ultimate goal here?”

“You.” You reply just as straight forward. “I want you.”

“I don’t know.” He says quickly, you feel your heart squeeze in your chest. He doesn’t know?

“I think…” he sighs out, “I don’t think it’s that simple.” And what the old man said is starting to make sense. This is a moment where Taehyung feels it. He feels what the right thing to do is.

“I don’t think we can jump into something like romance, y/n.”

You brows pinch together as you listen to him speak, but you relax your features and nod in understanding,

“Do you want to be friends with me, Taehyung?”

“I think that’s a place we can start.”

[roniscloud]

psh - love affair

park sunghoon [f. 8516 words] love affair

so when i’m gonna know what to feel inside, baby?

maybe it’s just all in my head, so

don’t overthink, this is love

maybe it’s just a crush

baby, is this your love affair, your love affair?

synopsis: what happens when two childhood best friends make a deal to help each other’s reputations? an unforeseen circumstance prompts sunghoon to approach you, intriguing not just you but practically every other student at your college. you believe your reunion with him can only end in one of two ways: you resort back to being friends and go on with your lives, or you use each other and once you’re both done, you fall out and never talk again. how will you two navigate your companionship? is it just the nostalgia coming up? a revival of feelings? a new crush? could it possibly be actual love?

genre + tropes : fluff. comedy. the slightest angst. childhoodbestfriends!au. enemiestolovers!au. college!au. fakedating!au. 

warnings: fem reader. a little swearing. slightly suggestive themes, sorta. a few cliches. mentions of underage drinking. the american collegiate school calendar. does them geeking out over fantasy/sci-fi sagas need a warning? unknown mutual pining. they’re so helplessly clueless of their feelings. also appearances of the rest of enha plus txt.

i. prologue

if someone told you that you would reconnect with your childhood best friend—let alone date him, you would’ve laughed in their face and told them to fuck off. park sunghoon is bad news. well, at least to you he is. one of the infamous campus playboys, you can spot him around the quad flirting with a different girl practically every day. 

but to you, he couldn’t have been anymore unlike the sunghoon you grew up with. you grew up with the sunghoon who couldn’t stand being around others, mind always focused on his own interests. you knew him as the little shy boy who would hide behind his mom whenever new people came around. the first person he opened up to was you. you can blame your mom for that. you can vaguely remember her words, something along the lines of mrs. park and i have been friends for longer than you have been alive. when we found out we were both expecting, we knew you two were destined to be besties. 

she was right. everyone thought you were two peas in a pod. wherever one of you went, the other followed. always stuck together, like true partners in crime. your close bond stuck for years. if anyone needed you, you’d most likely be found in the seats of sunghoon’s ice skating practices and competitions, cheering him on and being obnoxiously loud. likewise, he always attended your showcases, spending hours complimenting your artwork.

but then the villain of everyone’s lifetime eventually appeared. puberty. 

alas, your friendship did what anyone could predict of a couple of preteens entering high school. the usual “no matter what we’re gonna stick together!” leading to “sorry for blowing you off, got really busy,” to the imminent “what happened to us? we used to be so close,” and eventually the end of it all. senior year, the two of you attempted to leave on a good note. by that, you mean your parents made both of you apply to the same colleges to have a chance at sticking together. well, it worked, you got into the same university. funny how the universe does things.

back to present day, you’re now in your second year at hybe university. let’s just say, sunghoon isn’t the only one who went through a personality change. sunghoon traded his late night practices on the ice to one-night stands at frat parties. you, on the other hand, traded your once outgoing and fun-loving persona for a more… cold grunge meets artsy introvert. overall, let’s just say you both have reputations for not being the most approachable people. well at least you still have one thing in common.

ii. the cafe

the busy campus cafe was roaring with study groups filling every table. the aroma of fresh coffee and tea being brewed filling the air, creating a warm atmosphere—contrast to the cold winter weather just outside the walls. the college students scattered around, just like their minds scattered as they prepare for finals. not immune to the dreaded time of year, a group of four boys enter, immediately grabbing the attention of those already nestled inside.

a quick roll call of the four known by the student body as en-4, a combination of the dance crew name enhypen and the notorious f4. lee heeseung—the campus heartthrob, captain of the dance crew, center of the basketball team, and an unknown hopeless romantic. park jongseong, although everyone calls him jay—the resident bad boy and party animal, but those close to him know that he’s actually the responsible one. sim jaeyun, otherwise referred to as jake—the friendly and flirty frat boy who you can catch playing soccer in the quad almost every day. finally, park sunghoon—the handsome heartbreaker. he doesn’t need more of an introduction.

the four of them make their way to the counter, placing their orders. of course jake doesn’t miss his chance to sound extra sweet and send a quick wink to the barista, getting elbowed by heeseung in the process. after getting their drinks, they look around to see almost no where to sit. not a single table to fit all of them was available. 

in one of the tucked away areas, sunghoon spots an empty seat at a smaller table. the only catch was there was someone sitting across from it, hunched forward over her laptop. he can’t see much of her figure but he immediately recognizes her features. it’s you. well, a more mature and grown up you, but he couldn’t forget that face for the life of him.

sunghoon’s feet drag himself across the crowded room, catching the attention from the neighboring groups he passed but sneaking away quiet enough to not alarm his own friends. the three are too caught up arguing about what to do. sunghoon can hear the faint voice of jay suggesting going somewhere else while the other two shoot him down as he walks further away. he makes his way all the way up to your side. you look up, scanning him, confused but unamused. “this seat taken?” the first words he said in a year and half to you. still not not giving him any emotion, you hesitantly shake your head once, immediately bringing your focus back to your essay.

ignoring him only works for so long, his gaze not leaving the top of your head. you can feel his stare piercing into you, finally meeting his eyes. “what’s your deal?” the irritation and bluntness in your tone is all too evident.

he shrugs and answers nonchalantly, “nothing, just go along with it.” his answer is hushed, almost as if he’s a bit embarrassed.

“what are you trying to pull here, park?”

“can i not just sit here and peacefully drink my latte? am i that disturbing to you?”

“considering that the second you started walking in this direction, everyone had their eyes on us, then yes, you are that disturbing.”

“they’re not looking at us.” he pauses before continuing with his rant, “they’re looking at you.”

“and why the hell do you think that is?”

“they’re all trying to figure out what could possibly be so interesting about you that i would choose this seat.” he says it like it’s the most obvious answer.

you scoff and turn to see the lingering stares of the others in the cafe. “well, if it isn’t the god park sunghoon being as humble as ever, gracing me with his presence and having mercy on a peasant like me.” the sarcasm dripping off your tongue like venom.

he smiles warmly at your animosity and chuckles. “i’ve always loved your sense of humor.”

“funny cause i’ve always despised yours. i’m gonna ask one more time. what do you want, park?”

he only shrugs. hesitating before responding again, “i like it here. i like talking to you. it’s familiar… comfortable.” he sees your expression change subtly. it’s only for a second before you regain the prior look. he tries to read you. he caught you off guard and his pride brings a smirk to his face. 

by now, he finally tunes back into the situation around him and can feel his phone going off in his jean pocket. he pulls out the phone to see dozens of notifications, quickly stealing a glance back up at you to see that you’re already back to typing away on the previously forgotten assignment. he laughs as he sees the boys blowing up their group chat asking what he was doing. he looks up, finding the three sitting at a cramped booth with shock and confusion written all over them.

“enjoying the attention?” your turn to break the silence. when he turns back to you, you continue, “you’re no stranger to it but you’ve always loved it.” he gives you a slow nod, turning the question back to you. you answer him, “you know that it’s not my forte.”

“and why is that? scared people will get to know the real you?”

“oh please, like you aren’t afraid of me exposing all the dirt i have on you. imagine the buzz i could create with all of your old baby pics.”

he jolts up from his relaxed position, eyebrows raised, and completely on edge, “you wouldn’t dare.”

you lean forward in your seat, elbow resting on the table, cheek resting in your palm, and chuckle, “try me.” the words leaving your mouth quickly and a smile immediately replacing it.

“you’re finally smiling at me. good to know you still have emotions.” he gets you to laugh again. you spend the next 20 minutes catching up. looks like you two kept more in common than you thought. things run smoothly between the two of you, some of your old memories and inside jokes being brought up. “why didn’t this happen sooner?”

“what, us talking? i mean, you and i stopped running in the same crowd and school got the best of us. i will admit, though, freshman year sucked without you.”

he sighs when he hears your admission. “how about this? a proposition. i’m sure you’re aware that i don’t have the best reputation.”

you cut him off, “you can say that again.”

“haha, very funny,” he throws in another sarcastic comment. “you know you’re not exactly the most approachable either. hate to be the one to break it to you but you’re pretty intimidating.” he notices the expression on your face turned into one of annoyance at his last statement, “don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true.”

you dismiss the slight jab, telling him to continue. what you don’t expect is the next four words to come out of his mouth. “go out with me.” he sees your face drop, “oh come on, stop looking at me like that.”

“so i see, a little bit of time without me and you go insane.”

“look, i don’t mean actually date me, i mean… pretend to.”

again, you stare at him like he grew another head. “you want me to fake-date you? what are we, in a k-drama now? sorry hoon, you’re attractive but i would’ve preferred hwang in-youp or song kang.”

now he’s a bit annoyed, answering cockily, “i am so much better looking than them.”

“you wish.”

his jaw drops for a few seconds and then he chuckles. “i’m serious, think about it. we go out and spend time with each other like old times. i don’t look like i’m so incapable of being in a committed relationship and you don’t look like such a loner. no offense.”

“offense taken… but i see your point.”

“see, look at you using that smart brain of yours. this would be no strings attached. just two friends helping each other out while simultaneously deceiving everyone else. i know how much you love tricking others.”

you sit quietly, weighing the pros and cons in your head. “deal.”

iii. bro code

a few days later, sunghoon sits in his shared apartment with the boys, slumped on the couch as they eat dinner. “why are you guys so against it? i thought you wanted to see me in a relationship and now that i’m in one, you guys don’t approve. make it make sense. i should be free to date whoever i want.”

“yeah dude,” pausing to take a bite of his burger, “we get that.” jay answers, seeing how defensive his friend is getting.

jake interejects, “we respect your choices, but like… her? of all the girls that are falling at your feet, you chose her? the one that has no interest in you at all? i know you’re powerful but i don’t get how you managed to pull that off.”

“i feel like you could’ve consulted us about it first. bro code, man.” heeseung says as he shrugs his shoulders and sips on his soda.

“that’s kinda why i like her, because she isn’t all over me like the others. she’s cute and fun to hang out with. just give her a chance. honestly, what’s the worst that could happen? we go out and it doesn’t work. no harm in trying….”

that seems to do the trick as the boys lay off from the topic, going back to their own dinners and watching the latest episode of the penthouse.

later that night, sunghoon leaves their dorm to meet up with you. you agreed earlier that if you needed to meet up and talk that you’d go to the art department. perks of being an art major allows you a studio to spend your time in, secluded from the outside world. in this case, you and sunghoon don’t have to worry about nosy roommates.

when he arrives, he makes sure to take the back entrance like you mentioned. he makes his way through the deserted halls, glancing at each room he passes, and taking note of the various pieces framed along the corridor walls. he gets to the end of the building, finding a studio decorated with your name on the door. he silently enters. you don’t notice him at first with your back against the entrance and the music playing too loud through your airpods, focused on molding the clay on the pottery wheel. he grabs an empty stool, propping it beside you and taking a seat. he takes off one of your airpods, putting it in his own ear.

you finally turn your head towards him, “how long ago did you get here?”

“just now. how long were you waiting?”

you sit up, facing his direction. “i had a couple of classes today and came here to finish some stuff, been here for… what time is it?”

“um… almost 11.”

“then like four hours.”

“you’ve been working on that for four hours? what even is it, and when did you start doing pottery?” he points at the unfinished ceramic.

“not just that. i had some paintings that i needed to finish for my portfolio and those are in a separate room to dry. this,” you refer to the clay, “is just something i’m working on for fun. i got into it cause one of my profs suggested i try another medium.”

he nods along while you explain. “you can keep working on it while we talk.”

you hum in confirmation and turn back to the wheel, rewetting your wands. “so how do we make this believable? seems like people already know. word spreads quick when it comes to you.”

“we just need to act like a couple. so hanging out, going on dates, posting each other here and there, and being affectionate.”

“wow you finally found an excuse to kiss me,” you laugh as you joke with him, him following suit. “sounds reasonable, not much different from how we were as kids, just now we have to call them dates.”

“shouldn’t cause too many problems. just don’t fall in love with me, babe.”

you smile at the new nickname, “likewise, hoon.” you continue throwing the clay, molding it to your desired shape. you hyperfocus on the sculpture, tuning out the boy sitting next to you as he watches—he catches on that you still have the habit of pouting whenever you work on your art. you hunch forward, letting some of your hair fall in front of your face. too caught up, you don’t notice that sunghoon left his seat to stand behind you. he takes your locks and ties it into a messy ponytail. you snap out of your tunnel vision to ask, “why do you just have a hair tie handy?”

“i always had to carry some around for you because you always lost them. i never grew out of it, i guess.” he grins warmly, “do you remember how many times you had complained when you would get paint in your hair and i would have to clean it up for you?”

“how could i forget?” the night ends with more laughs and reminiscing on your childhood. time really does fly faster than you think.

iv. rated pg

the bell rings as you and sunghoon enter the convenience store. you two are discussing the movie you two just watched as you walk through the aisles. 

you split up agreeing to meet back at the register. you make your way to the drinks in the back while sunghoon goes to get snacks. you grab an iced jasmine tea for yourself and an iced vanilla latte for hoon. sunghoon yells over the stands as he browses, “hey, what should i caption for my insta post?”

you respond loudly, “i don’t know, something related to movies.”

sunghoon looks at the picture on his phone: a photo of you two snuggled up in the theater, most of your face hidden in his hoodie. he types in quickly “rated pg for park’s girl <3”, hits post, and goes back to browsing. he goes to grab bento boxes, honey butter chips, candy jellies, and practically everything his eyes landed on. 

when you make it to the cashier, you see sunghoon with his arms full. “you good there, park?”

a muffled “yup” is heard behind all the food.

you look around, walking away when you find what you needed. going closer to him, “why didn’t you just grab a basket?” you start to take some things from his arms, lightening his load. 

“i… uh… didn’t think of it.” he pauses in between, an embarrassed expression adorning his face. you giggle as you take everything to be rung up, missing how his ears turned red. you catch the worker’s name on his tag, jungwon. before you can take out your wallet to pay, sunghoon’s already entering his card into the machine. you whip your head around, ready to tell him off. “nope, do not look at me like that.” you roll your eyes at him as you grab the bag with what you just bought. 

“oh come on… you can’t seriously be mad at me.” no response from you. “really? the silent treatment?” he scoffs jokingly when you cross your arms against your chest. he comes closer to bend down and wrap his arms around your waist. “it’s snacks. it’s not that big of a deal.”

you release yourself from his grasp and walk out of the store, still faking being mad. you mumble, “whatever,” under your beath but still loud enough for him to hear.

he bids jungwon a quick “have a nice night”, not missing him calling the two of you a cute couple. sunghoon meets up with you outside, already sitting on the curb of the parking lot. 

v. pretty boy

the start of a new semester. en-4 are sitting out on the grass of the quad. surrounding them are various groups of students, typical for the buzzing campus on a crisp spring day.

“you need to cook the noodles first. end of discussion.” jake says sternly. he and heeseung are in a heated argument over the proper order of cooking ramen.

heeseung defends himself, “you are so wrong. you make the broth first to build the flavor.”

jay brings his attention up from his phone, “neither of you should be allowed anywhere near a kitchen.”

out of nowhere, a loud car horn is heard, drawing the attention of every student in the area. sunghoon looks up to find you leaning against the passenger door of your car and yelling, “hey, pretty boy! get in.” he chuckles at both the label and how bossy you sound, turning to his friends to grab his things. the three of them are stunned at him.

jake breaks first, “wait, what?”

heeseung lets go of his argument with the australian, “dude, are you seriously leaving?”

sunghoon only nods as he walks away, not letting them ask any more questions. he notices all the watching eyes and decides why not put on a show? he shouts out to you, “thought i was picking you up later, babe.” he makes sure to emphasize the nickname as his infamous smirk tells you exactly what his intentions are.

“lecture ended early, love. prof had some emergency. thought why not surprise you…” you wrap your arms around his shoulders as he reaches you and let him lay a quick peck on your cheek. “now come on, i’m taking you out on a date so either hop in or lose your chance. your choice but i don’t have that much patience so hurry up.”

“yes, ma’am,” he leans in closer and guides his hands lower from your waist. “but i’m driving,” he says as he sneakily takes your keys from your back pocket, 

“you sly fox.” he laughs at the new nickname as he opens the door, letting you sit down before closing it. he makes his way around the hood, noting that all attention is still on you two. he meets eyes with his friends again, the three looking much like the faces he saw in the cafe almost six weeks ago. as he buckles in and starts the car, you rest your hand on top of his on the gear shift. he raises his eyebrows and gives you a charming smile. “by the way, why’s your friend looking at me like that?”

he looks back up to face the boys, “which one?”

“jay. since we started doing this, he keeps looking at me weird—like weirder than the others.”

he tilts his head to the side when he realizes that jay is indeed looking in your direction, but his eyes are focused solely on you. “jay is… how should i put this? you know what i’ll tell you later. for now, tell me where to?”

vi. jukebox

the hazy red glow of the neon lights and checkered tiled floors welcomed you as you led sunghoon into the local diner. this place was a staple in your childhood, your go-to hangout spot with the aforementioned boy when you were still in your youth. 

“i will say, this is a nice surprise.”

you look up to sunghoon as he sits across from you in the vinyl booth seat, “i knew you would love it.” you laugh with each other as you get situated, seeing a young but tall—why is he so tall? he looks like he’s only a teenager—server coming towards your table.

“hey, i’m niki and i’ll be taking care of you guys today,” the giant says cheerfully. “anything i can start you guys with?”

sunghoon looks up at the boy to take your order swiftly, “two strawberry milkshakes, please.” you watch as niki nods and walks back to the counter.

“well, well, well, park… you remembered?” you question teasingly with a cocked eyebrow.

“you’ve always had a sweet tooth. no wonder you loved me so much,” his turn to turn up the typical park sunghoon charm.

you scrunch your face in annoyance, “you should become a comedian.”

“i will never get tired of your sarcasm. it really just… keeps me going.” his way of joking back. “stay here. i’ll be right back,” he says quickly as he looks behind you and gets out of his seat.

you wait patiently for him, assuming he’s just going to the restroom. unbeknownst to you, sunghoon is making his way to the jukebox on the other side of the restaurant. he flips through the song list, finally finding the one he wants. he quickly puts in the coins and sets it in the queue. as he turns to go back to you, he sees an engraving on the side. he runs his fingers along it as he inspects the writing. property of sunghoon and y/n. he thinks back to your last day of eighth grade when you two etched the label onto the wood. he joyfully walks back to your table, ready to let you know about the memory. he sits next to you now, resting his arm behind you and around your back,

“what took you so long, park?”

right as he’s about to explain, niki comes to your table, “two strawberry milkshakes. anything else i can get you two?”

you turn your head quickly to the boy sitting next to you, seeing his eyes are already focused on yours. “um… no, i, uh, think we’re good.” you stumble and stutter a bit. you watch him as he nods his head and walks away. regaining your composure, you ask sunghoon again, “so what did take you so long?”

once again, he gets interrupted. the sound of “purpose” by justin bieber playing over the speakers makes him stop. he gives you a second to register the song, “that’s why.”

you tilt your head down and look at him quizzically, “really? this is why?” you reach to your drink, sipping on the straw as you wait for his answer.

he mirrors your movement, nodding his head in confirmation. he too drinks from the tall glass, contrary to your use of a straw, he opts to drink straight from the rim. he pulls the milkshake away, leaving some on his upper lip.

you burst into quiet laughter, turning your gaze away to not spit out your own shake.

sunghoon furrows his eyebrows in confusion, “what’s so funny?”

you turn back to him, “you got a little something there, park.” you wipe away the liquid from his face with your thumb, popping into your own mouth to clean it up.”there, all good now.”

sunghoon freezes in his spot, trying to comprehend what just happened. it’s quick but he feels something. trying to shake off the foreign feeling, he turns to face forward again. he feels you lean into him, head resting on his chest. a small grin appears on his face, humming along to the justin bieber tune still playing.

“i missed hearing you sing.”

sunghoon looks down at the crown of your head, “really? you used to always tease me about it, though.”

you shake your head with a light laugh, “i never meant it. whenever you sang, it always calmed me. i used to think… if you didn’t pursue skating, you could’ve been a singer.”

“and then what? i would bring you around on tour everywhere and sneak you in backstage?”

“that could’ve been fun.” you now laugh louder than before, him along with you.

there it is again. sunghoon’s not sure what it is, trying to suppress the odd emotion. he sits there, cuddling up to you in the booth, finishing the strawberry milkshakes, just hoping you can’t hear the way his heart starts to beat faster.

sitting at the bar, snacking on fries, and trying to not be seen by you two are heeseung, jay, and jake. they ask themselves would they really be considered sunghoon’s friends if they didn’t follow them and stake out their date.

vii. nerds

sunghoon picked you up from the art department today. he showed up about ten minutes too early, and he got permission from your instructor to monitor your class from the back. he waited outside the door while you cleaned up, earning a few prying looks from your peers as they exited. as you drove back to his place, you agreed to have a movie marathon. 

opening the door to his dorm, you say “we are watching star wars. luke, leia, and han solo are a way better trio than three child magicians.”

sunghoon defends his choice, “first of all, they’re wizards. second, i’m offended. harry, ron, and hermione use magic with their wands. all star wars has is weird weapons and robots.”

“they’re literally in space and excuse you, but does something called—oh, i don’t know—the force ring any bells? they’re jedis, duh.” you rolls your eyes, making your annoyance clear.

sunghoon stops in the hall, “harry potter has spells and potions.”

“star wars has chewbacca.” you stand next to him with your arms crossed.

definitively and matter-of-factly, sunghoon says, “quidditch.”

“you can’t seriously believe quidditch is praiseworthy?” you look at him crazily.

“you two are such nerds.”

you both freeze, turning to see the rest of en-4 sitting in the living room. in the midst of your argument, you both failed to notice the others were home. you realize that jay was the one to stop you two. you also realize it’s the dreaded time for the best friends to finally meet the “girlfriend”. sunghoon seems to realize it as well, reaching to intertwine your hands to both sell the act to his roomates and to calm you down.

he leads you into the living room, meeting eyes with the boys. “so… guys, this is y/n, my girlfriend.”

“it’s so nice to finally meet you! i’m jake. sunghoon here has been holding out on us. i mean, come on, it’s been like two months and he still hasn’t introduced you to us.” the australian continues on with his energetic and positive ramble, asking you questions about your relationship.

heeseung butts in to tell jake to slow down. “i’m heeseung. jake’s right though, you two started dating before winter break and we’re barely meeting you now. sunghoon is always hanging out with you and telling us everything about it. honestly, all i can tell you is to run while you still can.” the others all laugh at his antics.

sunghoon scoffs, “hey, i’m not that bad.”

you excuse yourself to get a drink from the kitchen. you can hear jake spitting out more questions like rapid fire to sunghoon as you walk away. you reach into the fridge, fishing out a water bottle.

behind you, jay enters quietly. “you two are cute together.”

you flinch at his voice, “geez, dude. almost gave me a heart attack.”

he chuckles under his breath and leans against the counter, “sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. i met sunghoon at freshman orientation and we immediately became friends, but i’ve never seen him like this.”

“really hoping you mean that in a good way.”

“don’t worry, it is. you know… he only has a soft spot for you. the three of us are his best friends but he only ever smiles like that with you.” he sways his head back and forth as he rambles, taking a pause between his words. “stay with him. it’ll be good for everyone.”

you smile at his approval, “you wanna know something? he actually said you would be the hardest to win over. he said something about you being super protective over your friends… yet, at the same time you trust their judgement. he told me that when he and i got together, he wasn’t scared to tell you but more worried as to if you would like me.”

he smiles with you now, “that all he said about me?” he asks while raising his eyebrows in curiosity.

“he also mentioned that you’re a good cook.”

viii. proud

a professor of yours is holding their annual spring showcase for contemporary art. every year, a handful of students are chosen to join and display their art amongst other renowned artists. you happen to be one of the few, a top contender chosen for your abilities.

you’ve invited your friends, including en-4 to come by the studio and see your work—albeit a bit nervous for their reactions. you stand on watch by your section, greeting the patrons and waiting for the boys to arrive.

thankfully, they show up within the first hour of the gallery opening. they each show up looking professional and chic, sporting all-black fits—most likely at the hands of jay. sunghoon immediately finding you and leading the way for the rest. you welcome them in, explaining your collection, the concentration being “vulnerability.” the works are a mix of several mediums, majority being oil paint, each displaying a closeup of various people. the paintings show their bare faces, imperfections and blemishes with nothing to hide.

the night continues with more and more passing by, complimenting your collection. by the time the exhibition ends, you and sunghoon are the only ones left in the studio. he’s stayed in the same spot, eyeing one piece incredibly closely. throughout the entire showcase, he had kept going back to the one canvas. you join his side, linking your arm with his. “this one is my favorite,” you hear him say.

you look up to meet his eyes, “why this one?”

“because…  it’s you.” you takes your arm out and moves to stand behind you, now wrapping himself around you and resting his chin in the crook of your neck. he holds your hands in his, “i am so proud of you. times like this, i am proud to call you my best friend.” he turns his head, kissing you once on your jaw, and then pulling slightly back to kiss you again on the cheek.

you turn around, hugging him closer with your arms around his shoulders, “thank you.” you hold each other for a few minutes. when you pull away, you lock eyes. you feel your heart beating against your chest and your breathing getting faster. you snap back to reality when you feel sunghoon’s lips on yours. you’re not sure why you tangle your fingers in his hair and kiss him back or why he grabs onto your waist while backing you into the wall. he continues placing pecks on the corner of you lips, creating a trail down to your neck. when you let out a sigh and say his name, he stops. there he stands, a few feet in front of you, awkward and unsure of what to do next.

he breaks the silence, “it’s late. i should drive you back home.” he watches as you slowly nod your head. the drive back to your apartment was dead silent. you tried to occupy yourself by looking out the window.

when he drops you off, he bids you a quick goodnight. “um… text me when you get back home.” sunghoon just looks forward, muttering “ok” before leaving.

in the elevator, you look at your reflection on the metal doors. you make your way inside your place and take a seat on your bed. your mind is too busy reliving the moments with sunghoon before. you try to comprehend what you should do but find yourself too tired, instead falling asleep and missing his text.

ix. spring break

it’s currently the middle of april and the boys have made you an honorary member of en-4. you and sunghoon have been pretending to be a couple and successfully tricking everyone for the last four months.

everyone has the week off for spring break. jay, being the generous guy he is, rented out a cabin in the mountains for the now five members of your friend group. you all rode in one car on the way up, and you totally didn’t fall asleep in the middle seat while cuddling into sunghoon’s side. 

you all decide to settle into your rooms once you arrive. “so there are four rooms, two downstairs and two upstairs.” jay pauses, looking towards you and sunghoon, “i assume that you’ll be fine sharing one.”

you immediately answer, “yeah, for sure.” you look to see sunghoon avoiding your gaze, sensing knowing looks from the others. sunghoon and you already guessed that they would make the two of you share a room and truthfully, neither of you minded. growing up together meant a lot of sleepovers and sharing beds so this was no problem.

he continues on, “great, you guys can take the master bedroom on the second floor cause it has the most space. i’ll take the room next to you, heeseung and jake can take the two down here.”

everyone agrees and sets off to their assigned rooms. you and sunghoon drop your bags onto the mattress, starting to unpack. the interior is spacious, the tall glass sliding doors allow lots of natural light to come in. the room itself is cozy, king size bed with matching bedside tables, and a big fluffy area rug. you’re too distracted to notice that sunghoon has gone outside to the balcony. he leans against the railing, taking in the scenic views and the breeze, basking in the setting rust-colored sun. when you finally realize that he’s not next to you anymore, you silently make you way onto the balcony, wrapping your arms around sunghoon from behind.

he tenses up at the sudden contact, relaxing when he realizes it’s you. there it is again, his heart is acting up like at the diner. he’s noticed it more often—the way that whenever he sees you, his heart beats differently. this weird feeling in his chest, this warmth that only shows up around you. he gets lost in his thoughts, envisioning what could become of your situation.

“what’s got you so lost?”

your voice snaps him back to reality. he turns around to face you, “uh… nothing, just thinking.”

just when you want to question him further and talk about what happened at the showcase, a knock is heard on the door. sunghoon walks away, going to open the door. both of you can feel the awkward tension when he leaves his spot. 

“hey, we’re kinda hungry so we’re gonna order some food and watch a movie downstairs,” jake informs you two when the door opens. “feel free to come down and join whenever.”

“yeah, we’ll be down in a bit,” sunghoon tells him as heeseung nods before leaving you two alone again. you both finish getting settled before heading downstairs. you gather around the couch as ponyo plays on the tv and you reach for a tray of sushi. 

the night continues, the moon sitting high amongst the stars. after the movie, dinner, and some drinking games, everyone retires to their respective rooms. you plop yourself onto the bed, tired after the day’s activities. you hear sunghoon getting something from his bag along with the rustling of some plastic. you crane your head up to see him approaching you. he sits on the edge of the bed, now with fluffy headbands and face masks in hand.

you scoot back a bit, “nope. no way you are getting me to do that.”

he laughs lightly at your antics, “oh come on… let me take care of you, at least just for tonight. please.” he gives you a pleading look with pursed lips, dragging out the “please” to show how desperate he is. 

that was the deciding point that led to a spa night. you both changed into comfier clothes, you borrowed one of his hoodies and sweatpants. sunghoon got settled in closer to you and you reached for his wrist to grab one of the elastic bands. you adjusted your position to sit on your knees, reaching up to tie his hair back. he, on the other hand, took one of the headbands to bring your hair back and away from your face. 

by the time midnight rolled around, you two were snuggled under the comforter with face masks, surrounded by junk food, and on the fourth episode of some random netflix show. as the night continues, a wave of sleep starts to overtake both of you. you help each other take off the masks and clean up, getting distracted every few minutes because one of you would start messing around. the boys had stopped by to say goodnight, catching you two in the middle of a mild pillow fight. after sending them off, you fall asleep in each other’s arms, basking in the warmth of your shared embrace. heeseung had snuck in at one point and stole a few quick pictures to tease you two with.

the dawn breaking through the sheer curtains causes you to stir in bed. you turn to see the alarm clock on the nightstand say 6:02. untangling yourself from sunghoon’s grasp, you sneak outside. you climb up to sit on the rooftop, feeling the cool chill of the dewy morning. the time alone gives you a sense of serenity.

meanwhile, sunghoon moves under the covers, confused why he can’t feel you. his eyes open and he doesn’t find a trace of you in the room. worried, he gets up and quietly searches the house, making sure to not wake the others. he goes into the backyard, seeing a shadow on the ground with an unusual shape. he looks up to find you perched on the roof, facing the opposite direction. he eventually climbs up to sit next to you. he hesitates before getting closer and putting his arm around you. you sigh as you lean into him. there you both stay, watching the sun come over the horizon in a comfortable silence.

x. disaster averted

the following week, you all return to campus. needless to say, the break was well used—the days at the cabin mostly being spent at the lake or around the campfire. another day spent hanging out at en-4’s dorm after classes. sunghoon went out to pick up food for everyone. you are in his room, trying to cram for an upcoming test and failing miserably because the other three are all playing fifa way too loud.

while the boys are playing, the doorbell rings. jay gets up to check who it is, seeing a young girl and immediately recognizing her. he lets in yeji, sunghoon’s little sister. she casually joins the boys around the tv, catching up on whatever has been happening in their lives. sunghoon arrives back home within twenty minutes. 

“i’m back with the food,” he shouts out loud enough for everyone to hear including you behind his closed bedroom door. he places the plastic bags on the table, looking up to see another face. “yeji? what are you doing here?”

she gets up to greet her brother, giving him a hug, “it’s my spring break and i wanted to stop by.” sunghoon then realizes that his family doesn’t know about him becoming friends with you again or about your current situation. he drags her into the kitchen hurriedly, “ok so here’s the thing… you remember y/n?”

“of course! she’s like my big sister.”

his breath gets caught in his throat for a second, “yeah, don’t call her that. anyways, her and i are friends again,” he sees yeji’s eyes widen with excitement and continues with his explanation before she can cut him off, “and she’s my girlfriend.”

“what?!”

sunghoon panics and covers her mouth with his palm, “fake girlfriend!” he rushes out the whisper. “the guys don’t know that our relationship isn’t real and i’d like to keep it that way. they don’t even know that we were friends beforehand. yeji, i’m begging you to go along with it. please do this for me.” he clasps his hands together in front of him with a pleading expression.

the young girl crosses her arms in front of her and pretends to think about it, “hmm… fine.”

sunghoon blurts out a chant of “thank you’s” not knowing that his sister only agreed cause she always thought that you and sunghoon would’ve been a good couple. he tells her to help the others set the table while he goes to you. he quickly explains what’s happening and you’re just excited that you get to see yeji again. you both leave his room and you make your own way to the living room, spotting the other girl and exchanging glances.

yeji stops what she’s doing to turn and face you, “who’s this?”

you answer back casually, “y/n. i’m a friend of the boys, and you are?”

“yeji, sunghoon’s younger sister.” she says it proudly, bringing a grin to the aforementioned boy.

“oh, you’re yeji? hoon was right… you are pretty.”

she tilts her head and cocks an eyebrow, questioning you “why would he tell you about me?”

jake chimes in like it’s second nature, “i mean, why wouldn’t he tell his girlfriend about his sister?” he states like it’s so obvious. “they’ve been together since december.”

“girlfriend?” she takes a step back in false shock, “since december? why didn’t i know about this?” 

“what? i don’t seem like your brother’s type?”

“it’s not that. i’m just surprised he managed to get and keep a girlfriend. you’re like, way out of his league and he’s a loser.” one thing to know about yeji is that as much as she loves him, she will never miss a chance to tease her brother. 

with a scoff, you finally hear sunghoon join in beside you, “not gonna lie, that one hurt a little.”

“i’m so telling mom,” she says with a mischievous smirk.

you laugh at sunghoon’s shocked face and smile at the younger park, “i like you, i think we’ll get along just fine.”

“i like you, too.” she looks at sunghoon, “keep her.”

everyone laughs at the interaction as they settle in to eat. sunghoon sits to your right while yeji sits on your left, wondering how his two favorite girls learned to be such good actresses.

xi. returning the favor

fast forward another month, the end of the semester means the dreaded finals week again. sunghoon has been, for lack of a better word, slacking on some of his classes and is now juggling to prepare for exams and revisions. couple that with yeji telling his mom about your “relationship” and her nonstop questions, all of this stress has been piled on. this all amounting to him getting sick. 

now, sunghoon being sunghoon means that he pushed everyone away and hasn’t told you about his condition. luckily for him, you’ve been cooped up in your studio trying to finish your portfolio and also prepare for your exams. unluckily for him, the boys have gotten worried and heeseung called you. 

which brings us to the present, sunghoon stuck in bed with a fever, congestion, and neglected notes. a knock on his door does nothing to help his headache but seeing your face meekly peek in makes him relax. “what are you doing here?” he asks hoarsely.

“did you really think i wouldn’t find out?”

he avoids your glare, “i didn’t want you to worry.”

“honestly i’m not upset that you’re sick, but that i had to hear it from your roommates.” you come closer to him, clearing out the scattered papers and textbooks from atop his bed. you sit on the edge, taking out some medicine and cooling packs that you picked up from the convenience store.

“you really don’t have to do this,” he twiddles his fingers in embarrassment.

you tie back his hair and place one of the packs on his forehead, “you’ve always been the one taking care of me, so i might as well return the favor.” 

you busy yourself with getting the cough medicine ready and sunghoon takes an actual look at you. he notices that you’re wearing his old skating jacket, the same one he gave you at your high school graduation. he makes more room under the covers, allowing you to come closer and lay next to him. he drapes one arm over you and holds onto the end of the jacket sleeve, “i can’t believe you kept this.”

“we stopped hanging out and we weren’t in each other’s lives for a year and a half after being together basically since birth,” you pause, a little saddened thinking back. “this was the last thing i ever got from you. it’s all i had left.”

he brings you closer, neither of you caring if you got sick. “well… now you have me again. for good.”

xii. the party

the end of the school year has finally arrived. some seniors from the txt frat are hosting a big party to celebrate. of course, en-4 was invited—mostly thanks to heeseung being close with them. although you have made more friends and now have a more active social life, parties are still not your thing. 

yet, much to your dismay, being friends with designated party people means that you’re getting bombarded with pleas to go regardless. sunghoon took the lead on convincing you, “please, i promise that it’ll be fun.” the boys join in, their voices overlapping. sunghoon practically tackles you onto your couch while pouting and furrowing his eyebrows in desperation.

“stop looking at me like that. i can’t think properly when you do that.”

right on cue, the boys start to tease you. jay clears his throat and jake makes kissing noises, meanwhile heeseung starts singing y/n and sunghoon sitting in a tree… while you just glare at them.

“if i say i’ll go, will you all leave me alone?” 

they all shout “yes” in unison. which is how you ended up at the crowded frat house. although they had begged you to come, they practically abandon you and sunghoon when you get there. jake had yelled back to you that his friend sunoo from his econ class called them over for beer pong.

you and sunghoon find a big bean bag in the corner and stay there for a bit. he offers to get you both some drinks and leaves to the kitchen. you’re not sure how long he’s gone but you eventually get uncomfortable. you start wandering the house for some space to get some air. you find an empty room and make your way into the connected bathroom to wash your face. you take some deep breaths, then realizing that you didn’t tell sunghoon. as you’re about to step out, he enters the room.

“i figured you would want some space.”

“how’d you know where i was?”

he comes up closer to you, “in the sea of people, in this mess, in this frenzy… i will always find you. no matter what happens or who comes into my life, i always find my way back to you.”

“what the hell is that even supposed to mean, park?”

“i mean…” he stops to compose himself, “oh for fucks sake, i’m tired of this being pretend. i’m tired of being allowed to call you my girlfriend in public but not treat you like it in private. when i kissed you at the showcase, i had wanted to do that for so long, and i’ve been wanting to do even more.”

“sunghoon, look-”

“wait, i’m not done. what i’m trying to say is that i want you to be my girlfriend, for real this time—not as a joke, not as a trick. i want us to be together as an actual couple because i like you, a lot more than you could believe-”

you cut him off this time, kissing him like he did all those weeks ago. you kissed him in the way that you weren’t sure what words to say other than, “i would love to be your girlfriend.”

sunghoon shines with the biggest smile, picking you up and spinning around. when he lets you down, he incessantly leaves pecks all over your face. he holds you close, “now, how about we go enjoy the party?”

you nod and lead him hand in hand towards the door. you turn the nob, only to have the three remaining members of your friend group fall at your feet. heeseung landing on top, shouting out, “i fucking knew it!”

[sundaysundaes]

Whispers

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Smut, Fluff | 5k | Idol AU

Summary: Donghyuck has been busy promoting his new album and no matter how much he misses you, he can’t see you in person due to his schedules. Desperate for your touch, he begins to call you late at night.

Warnings: Phone sex, masturbation (male and female), dirty talk (but is it still called ‘dirty talk’ if Donghyuck is just being honest and saying whatever that comes to his mind?), no plot with a lot of dialogues

The vibration of your iPhone wakes you up from your dream. Being thrown back so suddenly to reality makes you feel slightly lightheaded but it’s all worth it the second you see his name written on your screen. Rubbing your eyes away from sleep, you answer his call, “Hyuck?”

“Hey, Noona.” The airiness of his honeyed voice sounds familiar and pleasant in your ears that it instantly paints a smile on your face. “Did I wake you?”

You refrain yourself from yawning. “Yeah, I fell asleep reading.” Narrowing your eyes irritatedly at the brightness of the fluorescent light hanging on your ceiling, you decide to switch it off and uses the dim glow of the bedside lamp instead.

“What time is it?” He gasps when he notices the time on his screen. “Three AM?! Shit, I didn’t realize it was this late. Sorry.” 

“It’s fine, I shouldn’t be sleeping anyway. I still have to work on my papers, so it’s actually good that you woke me up.” You nuzzle close to the pillow, holding your phone to your ear with one hand, blinking sleepily. “Did you just get back from schedule?”

“Yeah.” He sighs wearily. “I’m dead tired right now. I wish I could just take a day off, you know? I mean, performing is fun, but promoting a new album can be so hectic. I’ve only been sleeping for, like, two hours per day since last week.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” You bring the teddy bear he’d given you on your birthday close to your chest, pretending like you were embracing him. “I wish you could take some days off, too.”

“Yeah?” Somehow, he sounds like he’s smiling. “Then do what?”

“I don’t know, play games, I guess? Or just lie around in bed, doing nothing.”

“I’d rather be doing something, actually.” He chuckles softly, a hint of teasing in his voice. “Or someone.” 

“Gross,” you retort but you can feel your lips curving upwards. “It’s okay if you want to rest, Hyuck. You don’t have to force yourself to call me every day. Your health should be your number one priority.”

“What, you don’t want me to call you?”

You freeze. “Of course I want you to call me. I just—”

“I thought you’d be excited to hear my voice.”

The sudden bitterness in his tone makes you sit up from the bed, eyebrows adjoined in confusion. “What—Hyuck—”

“You know what?” He exhales loudly. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have called. It’s late anyway.“

“Can you please just listen—”

“I’m tired. Let’s just talk tomorrow.”

“But—”

“I’m hanging up.”

“Hyuck—” But you’re only answered by silence when the line gets disconnected. You stare at your phone, eyes wide in disbelief. 

What the hell just happened?

Upset and vexed, you dial his number. You wait with your jaw clenched until he picks up on the fourth ring. “Can’t you listen to me for one second?!” Not sure if it’s because of the drowsiness or exhaustion, but you find yourself shouting even before he says anything. “Of course, I want you to call me, you idiot! It’s the only thing I’ve been waiting all day. Every day, Hyuck, I wait for your call every day. I keep catching myself checking on my phone every ten minutes, waiting for your texts, wanting to call you. I miss you, of course, I miss you—you’re—” You turn stiff when you hear him cackling from the other side of the phone. “Are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry.” His laughter is contagious but you put up your best effort not to get infected. “You’re so cute when you get all riled up. Isn’t it obvious that I was just joking?”

“Right. I’m hanging up.” 

“Wait, Noona—” You listen to him with your eyes throwing ice daggers to the wall. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, I promise.” There’s a small pause where you’re too irritated to talk and he’s too unsure to start but he tries. “So, like… you miss me?”

“Not right now.”

“Aaw, come on, I was just messing around.” You can imagine him puckering his lips, batting his eyelashes for forgiveness. “Please, tell me. Tell me how much you miss me.”

You throw yourself back to the bed, huffing. “I don’t think I want to.”

“You get cuter when you’re angry, you know that?” He sighs to the air. “Aaah… I miss you. I miss you so much, Noona, you don’t even know. Probably more than you miss me.”

I don’t think that’s possible. “Of course,” you reply, holding back a smile from breaking on your face. “Since I only miss you a little bit.”

“A little bit?”

“A tiny, tiny bit. On second thought, maybe I don’t miss you at all.”

“Is that so?” You can tell he’s exhausted by the way he lets out his chuckle, but it doesn’t mean it’s less sincere. “It really has been a while since we last saw each other, hasn’t it?”

You nod to yourself. “Four months.”

“You keep count, huh?” His teasing tone makes you flushed. “Love me that much, do you?”

“Around four months,” you correct him, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible when the truth is, you can practically hear your heart hammering against your ribcages. “Or maybe three? Five? I don’t know.”

“Why are you so cute? Seriously, how can you be this cute?” Donghyuck sits on the edge of his bed, lips forming so widely that it nearly splits his face in half. When his chuckles have receded, his eyes begin to soften. “I love you, Noona. You know that, right?”

People might be thinking about how lucky you are to have a member of one of the most prestigious boybands in the world confessing his love for you at 3 AM, but honestly? You’re just so grateful for the fact that Lee Donghyuck, a boy who stole your heart nearly a decade ago when you were too young to even understand the word love, finally realized that your entire relationship with him was deeper than a mere friendship. It took years for both of you to finally gain enough bravery to act out your feelings, especially when he managed to shine brighter than you could ever imagine being. You were afraid of it—afraid that you would be burnt by his fame, afraid that he would discard you for he had everything and you only had him. But Donghyuck didn’t want anything. He only wanted you.

You love him. You’ve been loving him for as long as you can remember so hearing him say the words, no matter how often he has mentioned it already, still sparks fire through your veins. You’ll never admit that out loud, though.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot these days,” he sheepishly adds. 

“More than you think about yourself?” You snort. “I’m shocked.”

“Eeyyy, I’m serious.” The sound of your giggle makes him sigh, longing to hear it in person. “I wish I could be with you right now. I thought about you a lot during today’s photoshoot too.” He lies down on the bed, running a hand through his hair. “I thought about our last date. About that red dress you wore. Man, you looked so cute in that dress.”

You half-buried your face in the pillow, heat blossoming on your cheeks. “Now this is the topic I like to talk about.”

Donghyuck scrunches up his nose. “Aren’t you gonna say I looked nice too that day?”

Even the slightest thought of him—any version of him, whether it was him dressing handsomely on a date or him waking up in the morning with a bird’s nest on his head—never fails to send butterflies swirling in your stomach, but again, you’ll never admit that out loud. “Meh,” you jeer, even adding a shrug when you know he won’t be able to see. “Could’ve dressed better. I mean, ripped jeans? Really?”

“Yah, yah, yah. You said I looked good wearing those jeans!”

“We were going to a fancy restaurant and I wore a semi-formal dress, Hyuck. They just didn’t match my outfit. They didn’t match anyone’s outfit there, really.”

“Really? You’re gonna say that? Even after you spent the whole night stealing glances at me with drool on your face?”

You wish you could say he was lying, but you indeed spent the entire night drooling at him over the sight of his black leather jacket and the way his jeans just wrapped his thighs so perfectly. “I have lost interest in this topic.” It’s for the best before you combust into flames. “Where are you right now?”

“Back at the dorm.” He softly yawns. “In my room.”

“Alone?”

“Yep, since Johnny-hyung is filming out of town.” When you stay quiet, unsure of what to say, Donghyuck grins mischievously. “Why, do you wanna sneak in? I think I can afford to lose some sleep tonight, if you know what I mean.”

Flustered, you retort, “After Johnny caught us cuddling last time? No way.”

“Yeah, about that,” Donghyuck says a little awkwardly, “After you went home he said to me that he heard the whole thing—”

“What do you mean the whole thing?” The horror in your face and your voice is clear.

“I meant, the whole thing. Us having sex and stuff.”

You could practically feel the exact moment when your soul is leaving your body, but Donghyuck continues as if he’s simply talking about getting caught cheating during a test. “But it’s okay, he’s cool. He’s got my back.”

“Oh my God.” You nearly faint. “I will never show my face in front of your roommate, ever again.”

“Yeah, about that—“

“Are you fucking kidding me, Hyuck—”

“Jaehyun-hyung heard us too.”

“What?!”

“And he told Mark-hyung about it later on, and that’s the reason why I had this bump on my head for three days.” Donghyuck pouts, rubbing the back of his head, lean fingers carding through soft brown locks. “He hit me with a book, lecturing me about bringing you to the dorm as if he never did that himself.”

Not trying to overreact about it, but you’re suffocating by this point. “Why are you so chill about this?!”

“They heard us having sex, not murdering the innocents.” He rolls his eyes but seems amused at your reaction. “To be honest, I hear a lot of stuff happening in our dorm that I’m sure you don’t wanna know. Like, a lot a lot. Way worse than what I did with you.”

“And does Taeyong know about this?”

“Taeyong-hyung needs his beauty sleep so we agreed not to tell him stuff.”

“I feel sorry for him.”

“I just feel sorry he’s not part of our antics.” Donghyuck shrugs, kicking off his shoes and socks before he leans against the headboard. “How about you? Are you alone?”

“Yeah.” You heavily sigh, still feeling quite dizzy after hearing the truth he just blurted out. “My roommate’s gone for the weekend.”

“Oh…” He taps his fingers against his stomach, a weird feeling swirling inside his chest as a thought begins to form. “That’s… great…”

Donghyuck’s tongue lays heavy in his mouth, suddenly loses the ability to form a simple conversation as his mind begins to focus entirely on something else. It all started that one night when he pretended to be asleep, when in fact, he was listening to his roommate, Johnny, speaking to his girlfriend in hushed whispers. The way the older man was chuckling to his phone was suspicious, and the more he tried to listen intently, the more he realized that Johnny wasn’t conversing. He was giving orders with a voice thick with seduction. The sensual words Johnny used made Donghyuck’s ears turn scarlet, and he buried his face deeper behind his blanket. Since then, the curiosity within him has been rising more and more, nearly suffocating him sometimes when he desperately yearned for your touch but his schedule never let him take a goddamn break.

Not knowing the dirty thoughts that flit across his mind, you carry on your conversation like usual. “I guess, but it does get lonely sometimes when she’s not around. I actually like having a roommate.” The sandalwood aroma from your diffuser, combined with his velvety voice, comforts you and you’re finally able to relax. “Have you been eating well? I’ve been craving for strawberry—” 

“What are you wearing?”

“—pancakes—what?”

“I…” Donghyuck heaves out a heavy breath, biting the corner of his lip, unsure yet not ready to give up on his desire. “I just… I was wondering—Are you wearing pajamas?”

“Umm…” The way he asks about it sends heat rising to your cheeks. He doesn’t sound as innocent as the words he uses. You look down, fingers curling at the hemline of your clothes. “I’m wearing one of your shirts, actually.”

Donghyuck throws his head back, eyes tightly shut as he curses silently into the air, his phone pressed against his chest. The sight of you wearing his oversized shirt has been one of his most recurring fantasies and not being able to see you, but knowing that you are wearing his shirt, kills him. 

“Hyuck?”

Donghyuck brings his phone back to his ear. “Sorry, there was a… Mark.” He mentally slaps himself on the head. 

“There was a Mark?”

“I mean, Mark-hyung was here—but he just left so—" 

“Are you drunk again?”

“No!” Donghyuck rubs his temple. This is not going well, he shouts in his mind. “Why—” He winces when he hears his voice crack. Clearing his throat, he tries again. “Why are you wearing my shirt?”

Because it smells like you and it helps me sleep better. “Just because,” you quietly mumble, eyes locked to the ceiling. “Why are you asking me this exactly?”

“Just because,” he mimics. His breathing sounds more prominent as if he’s in the same room, only a few inches away from your ear. It’s the reason why you enjoy talking to him this way instead of taking video calls. You can focus solely on his honeyed voice, almost like a lullaby to your ears. “Can you tell me…” he continues, laced with both hesitation and anticipation, “What else you're wearing?”

“Umm…” You take a deep breath, trying to keep yourself composed. “I don’t think I want to say.”

“Please, Noona.” The sudden desperation in his plead startles you as if he’s losing control of himself, little by little. He seems to notice that too because when he speaks again, it’s steadier, almost formal. “I just… I want to know. If that’s okay.”

“Well…” You curl your toes. “Aside from your shirt, I’m…” Just say it, for God’s sake. He’s your boyfriend. He’s seen you naked. “I’m only wearing my panties.”

There’s a pause that makes your heart thump. “Not, uhh…” Donghyuck wets his lip. “Not even a bra?”

You fiddle with your fingers. “N-no.”

“Fuck.”

You nearly drop your phone. The guttural groan he just emitted from the back of his throat catches you off guard. “Hyuck..?”

“Noona, there’s—” Donghyuck sits up straight, nails nearly sinking to his jean-clad thigh. “There’s something I want to try.” There’s a sense of urgency mixed with minimum self-control. “I-if you don’t mind…”

You know where this is going. “What is it?”

“Just—Just follow my lead, okay?”

You shakily nod your head. When he calls out your name again, you remember that you have to say it in words. “Okay.”

“Can you…” Donghyuck’s heart is beating out of control.  His mind desperately tries to answer how the fuck do I start this?! “Can you, umm, lie down on the bed for me?”

You can tell he’s nervous and it’s both reassuring and endearing to know that he’s never done this with anyone else before and probably not mentally ready to do it with you, but tries to go all the way because he knows both of you need to find a way to release all of these pent-up emotions. 

You follow his order. “I’m…” You take a deep breath so your voice won’t tremble too much. “I’m lying on my bed.”

Donghyuck always takes a few seconds before answering, as if he’s battling inside his head as he tries to sort out his thoughts. “Is your light turned on?”

“Yes.”

“Turn it off.”

You switch off the button on your bedside lamp. “Okay, it’s off.”

“Okay, mine too.” Then all you can hear is his slightly ragged breathing. “It’s… a bit awkward, isn’t it?” He chuckles nervously, followed by an inaudible, “Fuck, why am I so nervous,” as he’s straying away from the phone. 

A smile paints your lips. “You’re adorable.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” 

When silence strikes, Donghyuck scratches his cheek. “Do you… want to know what I’m wearing?”

You gulp. “S-sure.”

“Well…” Donghyuck takes a look at himself. “I’m wearing a denim jacket, a white shirt, a pair of jeans—I just got back from a photoshoot so—”

So he must look good. “Take them off.”

He’s probably as startled as you are when you hear the words tumbling down your mouth. But even if he is as embarrassed as you are, he doesn’t make it as obvious. “Sure.” A rustling sound can be heard, and you let your imagination wander. You can tell he’s taking off his jacket and soon, his shirt will follow. Donghyuck would always take his shirt off by grabbing the fabric from the back and yank it over his head, instead of crossing his arms at his waist. There’s something masculine about it, but you tend to get more distracted at the way his muscles would contract in his lean stomach. His silver necklace would dangle around his neck, and he’d smirk whenever he caught you staring at him for a second too long. 

“My shirt’s off,” he quietly states, snapping you out of your reverie. “Now take yours off—wait! Wait. Leave it on. I want to imagine you wearing my shirt. Just take off your panties.”

“I’m—” It’s so damn hard to focus when you feel so ashamed just by hearing his instructions. “Okay…” Your fingers are quivering when they slide down your stomach, thumb hooking around the hem before you pull your lingerie down to the middle of your thighs.

“Lie down,” he whispers, “Prop a pillow behind your back. Are you comfortable?”

“Y-yeah, just…” You sigh, head going dizzy. “Embarrassed.”

The airy laughter that flows from his mouth is too innocent to be heard in this kind of situation. “So cute. Me too, actually. I’ve never done this before.” When his chuckles have receded, the nervousness grows vivid in his voice once again. “Do you, umm... Do you want to stop?”

You’re supposed to say yes, or at least a bit conflicted about it, so it shocks you when you immediately answer, “No,” without hesitation.

“Thank God.” Donghyuck sighs, smiling softly against the phone. “‘Cause I wouldn’t know what to do if you said yes.” He unbuckles his belt with one hand, taking it off as his heartbeat soars through the roof. “Then, umm… can you spread your legs? As wide as you can.”

You feel so exposed even when no one is looking. Following his guidance, you question, “What about you? What are you doing?”

“I’m…” Donghyuck swallows hard, looking down at the way his hand is pressing against his semi-hardness. “I’m rubbing myself over my pants.”

Fuck, you mentally groan. “Why aren’t you touching yourself directly?”

“Cause I want to wait for you.” He has his eyes closed, hand slipping under the hemline of his jeans, stroking himself over his boxer. “I want to picture you rubbing your fingers on your clit. I want to hear you moan my name when you do.”

Oh my God. “Then guide me,” you plead. There’s something so irresistibly sexy about him touching himself while picturing you pleasuring yourself with your fingers. “Tell me what to do, Hyuck.”

He runs his tongue over his lower lip. The excitement of being able to act as a puppeteer, tugging on your strings, sends all blood rushing south. “Can you push your shirt up? Don’t take it off, just—” He exhales, taking a moment to collect himself after a certain obscene thought of you touching yourself entered his mind. “Just make sure it’s not in the way.”

“Okay.” You grip the hemline of your shirt, pulling it up until it pools above your chest. “Now, what?” 

“I want you to touch your breasts.” You’re more aroused by his breathy voice and lustful tone than embarrassed at this point. “Imagine me, Noona,” Donghyuck whispers, and he sounds so close, as if he’s lying down next to you. “Imagine me with my hands on you, caressing your breasts. Can you do that?”

You squeeze your breast, mumbling out a weak, “Yes…” The memory of Donghyuck, embracing you from behind, his naked chest pressed against your spine, hot mouth lazily pressing wet kisses against your nape suddenly comes alive in your mind. You still remember how sexy he sounded moaning out your name as he rocked his hips forward, his fingers exploring around your chest, rubbing and pinching at a certain spot to make you press closer to him in desperation for more of his touch. 

“Suck on your fingers, make them wet, then bring them back down.” Donghyuck’s hips are bucking against his hand, his fingers tugging his zipper down. “Imagine my mouth latching on your nipple, sucking it the way I always do. The way you like me to do.” 

You bring your fingers to your mouth, coating two of them with saliva before you bring them back down to pinch your sensitive bud. With your eyes closed and his heavy breathing in your ear, the wet sensation of your fingers gives you a clear image of his tongue flicking against your nub. 

“Tell me how you feel.”

“It’s not enough,” you croak out, “I want to feel you directly on my skin.”

Donghyuck takes a sharp breath. “You don’t even know how much I want to be there and touch you.” The way his voice suddenly becomes deep sends shivers down your spine. “I want to suck bruises on your skin. I want to mark you everywhere, again and again, so the bruises will last for days. I want you to remember me every time you see yourself in the mirror.”

You sheepishly smile, though your heart is still racing. “I always remember you even without that, Haechannie.”

The sudden change of his name warms his heart. “I wish you’re the only one who calls me that. You make my stage name sounds better, special. I could have thousands of people screaming my name but none of them makes me feel the way you do.” As he slides his hand under his boxer, finally making direct contact with his skin, Donghyuck becomes desperate once again. “Bring your other hand down. I want you to touch yourself, Noona, please.”

You slide your hand between your legs, tentatively rubbing yourself between your folds. “Hyuck…”

“Does it feel good?”

You nod, eyes shut, and your mind wanders. “Yes…”

“Rub your clit for me. And imagine I’m doing that with my tongue.”

You can picture him with his head between your legs so perfectly behind your closed eyelids. He has done it several times and you remember how he would always start slow, placing open-mouthed kisses on the inner part of your thigh before dipping his head down and swipe his tongue along your folds—all the while never breaking eye-contact. He would press a kiss against your clit, and lick you slowly because he’d want you to beg for it. He never directly told you but you could tell he liked being in control because the second you whispered “Please, Hyuck,” he would immediately indulge you with everything you wanted and more. 

Donghyuck would suck hard on your clit, doing it so suddenly that you’d nearly crush him by wrapping your legs too tightly around his head. Amazed and delighted by your reaction, he would break into a smile with his tongue still darting out to taste you, mouth pressing harder against your skin until he plunged his tongue inside your heat.

You moan out his name at the memory, directly to the phone.

“Fuck, baby, you sound so perfect…” Donghyuck nearly whimpers and the word baby stirs something within you as he never called you that before.

“Call me like that again…” You rub yourself harder on the spot you like the most. “Please, Hyuck…”

“Baby…” Donghyuck’s fingers are curling harder around his length, pumping himself in accordance to every gasp and moan you’re emitting. “I wish I could see you—I wish I could lock my eyes with yours as I eat you up. I want to see your face, every single expression you make—I bet you look so cute, so goddamn... erotic.”

Your hold around your phone loosens but fortunately for you, the pillow pressing against it keeps it close to your ear. “Touch yourself,” you breathily murmurs, “I want you to touch yourself too.”

“I am, baby,” Donghyuck softly moans, his fingers tightening around his length. “What else do you want me to do?”

“I want you to stroke yourself harder and run your thumb over your slit.” Donghyuck zealously follows, cursing under his breath at the pleasure. “And I want you to keep doing it until my name escapes your lips.”

“God, I want you.” He repeats your name over and over again, as ordered, with him stroking himself faster each time. “Noona, I want your mouth on me. I want to see you hollow your cheeks around me—like how you did to me when we were backstage, that time after the concert. You looked so pretty that night, so eager—so desperate for me—”

“Me too. I want to make you feel good too. I—” You nip at your bottom lip, feeling goosebumps creeping up your skin when he moans out your name. You’ve always loved his voice, loved it more than anything else in the world, and the sounds he makes when he’s in bed with you is the sexiest thing that even your poor mind can’t even begin to imagine. And now, focusing solely on his voice, listening to his filthy, sinful words, he’s driving you to the edge of your sanity.

“I’ve touched myself before at the thought of you,” he confesses breathlessly, “Several times, even way before we started dating.”

You’re trembling at the thought. “Haechannie—”

“You don’t know just how much—” The sound of him trying to stifle down a moan only makes you crave for him more. “—how much I wanted you back then. How much I want you now. Even during high school, I just—I wanted you—wanted to touch you—wanted—ah fuck,” a whine slipped out his lips, “Wanted to hold you so bad, to make love to you until—”

At the rustling sounds, him whimpering at his touches, and you rubbing yourself on the perfect spot, you know you won’t last long. “H-Hyuck, are you close?”

“Just a little bit more, Noona, ah—” He thrashes his head against the pillow, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallows hard. “Fuck, I need to be inside you. I need to feel you clenching your walls around me.” At the memory of you gazing at him with anticipation building inside your seductive, half-lidded eyes, as you parted your legs to give him permission to ravish you the way he wanted, Donghyuck quickens the pace, thrusting vigorously into his hand. “Fuck yourself with your fingers, baby, please.”

You’re more than keen to follow, inserting one digit inside your heat with another one following soon after. You can visualize him bringing your legs in the air until they dangle over his shoulders, his hips slamming hard against yours with each thrust. “Hyuck—”

“If you were here right now,” he nearly growls, “I would fuck you so hard until you’re mewling my name against the sheets. And I won’t stop, I won’t stop even if you beg me to. I won’t stop until I’m done with you.”

Donghyuck doesn’t sound like he’s trying to dirty talk which only makes it even more arousing to your ear. It’s as if he’s losing control of his mouth, just saying anything that comes to mind. The honesty, the urgency, his breathy, desperate calls of your name between lewd words—

You choke out a sob. “Hyuck—I’m close—”

“Me too—N-noona—Kiss me—”

It’s one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever felt and it’s funny because you never really enjoyed touching yourself before. Donghyuck follows a few seconds after, moaning your name so erotically that will probably give you a hard time falling asleep for days at the thought of it. You’re left dazed, staring at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes. Your phone lays forgotten on the pillow next to you. Mustering all the strength you have left, you reach out for it. “Hyuck…?”

You can hear him breathing heavily. “I’m here,” he says. “Are you okay? Did you get to come?”

“Y-yes.” Now that it’s over, you begin to feel self-conscious again and the heat that blooms on your cheeks nearly wash every bit of your orgasm away in an instant. “Did you?”

“I made a huge mess.” He chuckles, sounding just as embarrassed as you are. “Fuck, didn’t realize it was going to be this good when we started. What would’ve happened if we had Face-Timed each other instead?”

Your head nearly explodes at the thought. “One step at a time, Hyuck. I’m practically dying from shame right now.”

He laughs a little at that. “So, you don’t really oppose the idea? Man, I have something to look forward to then.”

“Shut up, you’re gross. Is this the reason you called me?”

“No,” he hastily says, “I swear, I called because I missed hearing your voice.” Then he thinks about it again. “Well, I mean, I have been thinking about doing, uhh, these kinds of things with you but trust me, it wasn’t the reason why I called.”

“Sure,” you flatly reply, teasing him.

“Yah, yah, yah, it’s your fault for saying that you were wearing nothing but my shirt!”

“It’s your fault for asking me what I was wearing!”

It’s always like this with him. You’re bickering at one point, having sex at another time, then goes back to bickering once again. But it’s endearing, you suppose, because after this, you’ll be murmuring loving words, and just when you begin to think about it, Donghyuck whispers into the phone.

“I love you, Noona. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

And you smile. “I love you too, Haechannie. You’re the second best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“What the hell is the first one?”

“Chicken nuggets.”

“You’re so dead.”

***

[pufflocks]

Kuroo x bottom male reader, maybe readers riding him?

Summary: Honestly in my mind–, I believe if Kuroo had someone sitting on his cock I believe he would be so touchy. Touchy and impatient— Touching the readers curves and rubbing on his thighs until he couldn't take it anymore. ♡

"You- You are so fucking tight- ugh, I love it." -T.K ❣

Warnings: Slight degrading • Groping • Cum eating • Proof read • porn without plot

Cast: Bottom!M!Reader x Kuroo Tesuro //Kenma Kozumane//

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

It was an alluring Friday. Volleyball club didn't have another practice until next week. Leaving an eventful evening afterschool for a certain couple.

"Phew I'm fuckin' exhausted-" Tetsurou exhaled stretching out his long limbs. Many people, according to Y/N would kill for his height. Yet he was always saying how much he hated it. Words only to tick his boyfriend off – which it did.

The rooster haired male slicked back his sweat covered hair. "Oi, kenma I'm gonna head out first since my oh so handsome boyfriend wanted me to take him home early." Kenma nodded quietly, chugging his water down quietly. He gathered his belongings along with the other members of the team.

'I wonder why he needs a chaperone to walk him home..' Kenma sighed. Shaking off the thought since it was not his business. Besides that he started picking up some stray volleyballs. Faster he does this the faster he gets home to play video games with his boyfriend.

You however, was just about to get out of your last period. Thinking about some random things to get out of the fact you and nekomas volleyball captain sending eachother lewd glances throughout the day. One action led to another throughout the day.

You sitting in the back of class softly giggling to yourself once while at your phone and blushing at other texts. Some texts were cute flirts like "I can't wait to see you" or "Coach is being extra angry. He needs pop a chocky milk" Leading to a raging tent in your pants in your last class period when he sent a slick nude of a boner he accumulated in the past hour. Ugh— The clock nearing 3 PM setting you slight edge in your seat.

BRING !

'Thankfully the teacher didn't see me with my phone.'

Sighing tremendously you snatched up your bag that had a cheesy volleyball sticker in nekomas colors with a big number '1' on it. Gifted by your yours truly, Tetsurou Kuroo aka rooster bf. A small nickname you gave him in your guys' first year.

You chuckled at your own humor as you bumped into someone the way out of your classroom.

"Ah-!" You failed to finish your small mental comedy show as your overly tall boyfriend encased you in a nearly bone crushing hug. Lovingly of course.

Your not so obvious erection slightly catching contact on his muscular thigh. "You scared me tetsu- Come on lets go." You grab hold of the mans hand in dire need to fix your lower situation, pronto. One think you hated about your boyfriend was how much of a tease he so unashamedly was.

You both agreed, over text to leave early to do it after class since he didn't have practice today.

"What's the rush doll ? You were just teasing me with that I wanna ride you BS over the phone." He snickered. Face automatically bloomed red as you scoffed in face. Pushy bastard he is.

"Yeah yeah. Come on before people see-" And before you knew it. Your boyfriend took one glace down south to notice you weren't lying. Your small cock pressing up against the unformed pants.

'Cute how eager he is~' he mentally mused.

He took this opportunity to just drag you to an already emptied classroom. The school seemed to empty out earlier on Fridays, you thought. Slowly coming back to your own senses you see just how peckish he really was. Air thickening. Your noticable shudders of arousal not going unnoticed.

"God,, I need you right now." No other words were conversed between you two as he eagerly ripped and tugged the cloth off your smaller frame. Canines slightly nipping at now heated skin and grabbing wherever his hands could easily roam. Sloppy kisses to your neck making you gasp and make your penis twitch in gratitude.

"Please tetsu.. I want it badly~" You moaned wantonly as he was gripping some belly fat lovingly. Tetsurou grinned as if he was a wolf in the night howling at the moon.

Grabbing a nearby chair, after he let you go with a small peck to your nose he sat down and shrugged off his trousers. Hard organ slapping on his lean stomach. The sight making you purr in the presence of this 'wolf'

'I can't wait to fucking ride him..'

The sight of his cock made you rub your legs together eagerly. A small "Hm..~" erupting from your throat. Oh god did it not only have girth and a red bulge of its head – His length and overall cock had been mesmerized in your small pink hole.

"Wanna ride you Tetsu.." you mewled already palming the hard on in your now very tight pants.

He pulled you closer and gripped your chin to make you look at him as he stroked his cock teasingly, "Wanna ride me dry and see if you can come undone or vise verse but you blow me ? Which is it sweetheart ?" Darting dark eyes your way as he audibly purred. Kind to not so kind kisses being placed to your collarbone making you shiver as his cold lips met your hot skin.

New hickies you never minded showing off, just as much as he never minded giving you to show off.

The choices were hanging heavy on your tongue, now realizing his question. Almost obediently, in one swift motion you got down your knees willingly let him unravel you with his slim eyes.

"Such a lucky ass man I am~"

Fuck you wanted him so bad.

"You gonna blow me my pretty Y/N ?" He said stroking your cheek as if you were the most rarest diamond from his thief heist. To him you were not only rare, but valuable beyond his mind.

Grasping hold of his member you lick up his shaft kissing here and there. Making quick work to get to the main course.

Tetsurou smiled. His pretty boy serving his cock like it was something holy. Before he knew it you started gulping down his length. Slobber dribbling at the creases of your mouth. Pretty eyes of yours making their ways to your rooster headed lover.

"Fuck-! Baby I'ma fuckin' cum-" He groaned, head flying backward as you got off hearing him announce he was gonna shoot down your throat. Swallowing every. Single. Drop.

"Shit.. You gonna take daddies cum baby ? Yeah ? Where you want it ? Tell me babes." He was tapping his cock against your now plump and messy lips as he stroked himself off to your filthy face. Fuck, he was using your face for his own pleasure. You wanted him to know how much you enjoyed this.

"Mm- I want it in my mouth!~ please stick your cock deep down my throat daddy!~" You whined pathetically stroking your own leaking cock and using your own arousal for lube. The lewd squlching noises invading your ears.

He snorted at your poor attempts at getting yourself off and opened your jaw enough to shove all the way in down your throat. Tears prickling and threatening to fall down your face. You let out small gags leading to moans from the action as he shot down your throat. You swallowed his seed successfully, sticking out your tongue to show you did.

"Such a pretty boy.. Fuck such pretty boy." Tetsurou praised as he wiped the tears you ignored from your puffy eyes. Also unnoticing the ringing one of your phones was doing. You didn't care though. "We ain't done yet though. Get your sweet ass up here my prince." You joyfully obliged as he helped you off your knees seeing they were red. He started rubbing small circles and kissing your bare shoulders. A way of saying sorry for making you be on yourknees for so long.

'So caring~' You groggily giggled to yourself due to your throat being slightly sore from your guys' previous actions. Damn he was rough this time. Does being found out really get him this riled up ?

He cocked an eyebrow, "What's wrong ? Did a do something silly ?" He wore his signature smirk. The one you loved and hated. A calming and goofy aura being replaced with the once heated lustful one. All you could do was giggle again and cup his face in the moment. Just enjoying him.

"You're just so caring with me and I love you for moments like these." You confessed. Heart beating erratically as he chuckled kissing your nose.

"I know. I'm a big ass softy for my boyfriend believe it or not." You rolled your eyes jokingly. You loved this man, but you also loved his cock which by the way, still hasn't gone soft yet.

Turning around in his lap you wrapped your arms and legs around his form as you whispered alluringly. "Let me do the work cuz my dick is aching now and I needa cum stupid bad." You smiled devilishly. He once again for the umpteenth time, chuckled at your words and throwing his hands up.

"No hands my prince. No hands." You nodded. Knowing full well he would lose it half way of your quote unquote dominance.

You slowly and steadily began inserting his member inside. God, the stretch you fucking waited for was heavenly. Making it all the more nearly impossible to not close your eyes in delight.

Sucking through his teeth your boyfriend let out a long "Fuuuck..~" as groaned instinctively grasping onto your hips. On a loose thread of keeping his promise of letting you in control.

"God, you're so fucking- huge-! Testu~" You whined already grinding the rest of length into your now gaping hole. The feeling all too familiar to your body. Soon beginning to bounce up and down with pure greed. Not giving the slightest flying fuck if someone were to see you through the small class window as you were rolling your eyes back in ecstasy like a expert porn star.

"You- You're so fucking tight.. Ugh- fuck I love it !~" He moaned out aggressively as your bouncing only quickened at his words slapping sounds got louder. "Who's fucking cock are you riding Y/N ?" He growled and huffed bear your neck. His breath tickling the hairs in the area.

Noticing he didn't get any answer to his no rhetorical question, Tesurou slapped your ass harshly leaving a delicious itchy feeling rupture in the spot his heavy hand slammed on. You lost it as an almost unbearable amount of pre ran down your cock.

"You- Ah!~ Fuck it's you Testu!~ Your cock- Ah-!~ is hitting me in all the right places oh my fucking god!-" You shrieked small little tears making their way down your ruined face.

'This slut is really egging me the fuck on today~' Tetsurou mentally grinned.

Not only did he like the words coming out of your mouth, but he lived for those damn tears of diamond racing out the corners of your eyes. "

"Fuck it. I'm pounding the shit out of this ass." He mumbled to himself as he snatched you off of his body as if it was completely nothing and pressed you forward on a desk, your perky nipples grazing the cold school furniture.

He took a second to adjust his angle until ramming into your prostate directly dead on as you let out a high pitched warble. Anyone could mistake your voice for a females out of context. "Fuck-! fuck- MM— FUCK YES~" you moaned as your cock swung heavily in between your legs as Tetsurou began deep stroking every corner inside you. The feelings making your mind go numb.

"Baby boy I'm finna blow my load~ Who the fuck is fucking your shit up right ? Huh ?~" Testu's snarled in your ear. Snatching you up by your neck up to his sweaty hard chest. Your bodies creating an almost unbearable heat between you both.

You whined in a needy voice as the feeling of your prostate getting hammered repeatedly. "YOU DADDY~ YOU YOU YOU~!!! GOD LEMME CUM FUUUCK—" His grip on your neck did not falter as his pace only got faster. Quickly gripping your slick penis and jerked you off all the while placing delectable light kisses around your bruised neck and shoulders. You were nearly seeing stars with overstimulation and his contrast of touch.

"That's exactly what I like to hear my amazing boy~" Tetsurou hips stuttered as you came hard, your eyes rolling back and drool sliding down your jaw. Coming straight after your release he gave one last deep push cumming deep down in your tight little ass. "Fuck babe..- Fuck-" He panted smiling lazily, grip already faltering around your neck. He never would forgive himself if he accidentally choked you to death.

Since you guys literally just fucked in a classroom, aftercare had to be done differently. Slowly laying his head on your shoulder, rubbing your hips and doing anything to ease any after pain off your body. Maybe you'll let him try out a cream he uses on himself after volleyball. Eases the joints and moisturizes your body.

Such a loving boyfriend you bad.

"I love you so damn stinkn' much Y/N.. God I'm so fucking lucky I swear." You chuckled, 'cause he always seemed to be so emotional after you guys had sex. You thought it was cute coming from him. "Let's get out of here cuz' we already stayed here for half an hour." You stated pushing the tall male off your body, much to his unpleasant dismay. He only hummed in response.

"Your house or mine ?" He questioned after pulling up his pants and tugging his extra volleyball shirt on. You stretched while yawning a bit. Sex is tiring.

"Yours. My parents will automatically smell the sex on me and no cologne can cover that." Giggling softly at your statement your boyfriend nodding in a agreement.

"Let's just hope they dont find out we once fucked in your living room-" You glared at him as he stopped, snickering at how cute his boyfriend looked after being roughed up.

"Let's go so we can cuddle now please." You softly pleaded as you tugged his shirt tiredly. You know the first thing you were gonna do when you got to his house was instantly plop smack on his oversized bed.

"Let's go my prince."

Bees are pretty..

Zenna, no.