#[ pitchu is so cuuuute im crying ]

[spandamned]

step one ,, first meeting.

      He was not happy to be sent here. Not only had Thriller Bark been almost impossible to find, but the place was as creepy as they come. To think that this was actually a ship was hard to believe. Spandam looked out over a misty forest, the trees tall with crooked branches. A perfect ‘ haunted forest ‘, he’d say. At least the theme of Thriller Bark was on-point. He tried not to let a shiver run down his spine as a swarm of bats flew high above his head, their high-pitch screeches like tiny arrows through the still night air. It was mid-day, but the thick mist had covered this ship in eternal night. He was surprised anything would grow here.

      Spandam was walking first, leading an escort of marines. He would not have dared to head through this forest on his own. He’d been sent to talk with Gekko Moria on government business, as the chief of CP5. He was certain that some higher up bastard had lumped this onto him. That’s what he would’ve done if he had had a higher rank. He could hardly wait for his promotion. The group exited the forest, and soon they were standing in something that looked unmistakably like a graveyard. Spandam blinked and shivered. Are you kidding me, he thought to himself. A haunted forest and now a graveyard? What was next? He looked up and ahead. What was next was their destination. A large castle that looked even more haunted than the woods.

      “B-boss!” one of the marines stuttered, startling Spandam, who jumped around.

      “What? Don’t scare me like that!”

      “B-boss! Look!” all the marines had horror written all over their face. Spandam turned again, in confusion. He’d been looking up at the castle, not seeing what was closer to the ground. His men had not missed that though. He could see it now too. The ground was moving. Something was digging itself up from the dirty. Rotting hands. “Z-zombies!!” the marines yelled, terrified of what they were seeing. Spandam’s eyes were wide in shock. Then he remembered he was in charge.

      “S-shoot them! Shoot them dead!!” He ordered. Shakingly, the marines took aim, and fired at the zombies. Absolutely nothing happened. The walking corpses were now standing tall, remains of dirt falling from their stitched wounds. The marines fired again, and Spandam could tell that they hit their mark ( hard not to, the zombies were standing still ). Once again, there was no result. “R-run away!” Spandam ordered without thinking. The whole group began to run. They could hear groaning and moaning from the zombies behind them. The zombies could run too. The marines ( and Spandam ) all cried out in fear, and ran as fast as their legs would carry them. They sprinted across the graveyard, and jumped the fence with surprising athletics ( Spandam couldn’t remember ever having jumped that high before ). They ran towards the castle, but they all got winded, and had to stop. They did outrun the zombies though. Spandam supported his gloved hands on his knees and wheezed. Nobody had told him there were zombies here! You’d think that was a detail that should’ve been mentioned in the mission description! “Did we outrun them?” Spandam asked, looking behind.

       “I think so, boss.” said one of the marines, he too was out of breath. Of course the ones who had come with him had to be marines without proper training.. Why did he always have to work with the lowest scum? Again, he thought about how badly he wanted a promotion. They continued to walk. They were close to the castle now. They stepped into a large shadow cast from a creepy statue. Then they heard an eerie sound.

      “Chi-chi-chi-chi!” It was a laughter. They all froze, dead in their tracks. The group turned as one, towards the laugh, afraid of what they would see next. On top of the large statue - sat a person. His face was in shadows, but they could see his long legs.

      “Another zombie! Shoot it!” Spandam ordered as the silhouette jumped down to the ground. The marines did as ordered, all of them firing their bullets at the stranger. Yes, Spandam had already forgotten that zombies could not be killed by bullets.

      The faint light from the castle fell upon the man. He had bullet wounds all over him, and for a moment, Spandam expected him to fall. He could see blood trail down from the wounds.

      “Ouch.” the man said with a chuckle. “That hurt.” The bullet wounds slowly closed like crumbling maggot tunnels. The marines ( and Spandam ) were shaking in fear. The man before them was tall. Spandam was a tall man himself, but this person towered over him. He had pale skin with black tattoos on his arms, throat and forehead. His eyes were strangely square, and even in the faint light their red hue was obvious. His hair was blonde with red tips. Messy. He reminded Spandam or a scarecrow. He was dressed in a black shirt, with a red collar. He was very thin, and what made him look even leaner was the tight, red corset that he wore on his torso. Spandam wanted to run away again, like he’d done with the zombies, but his feet seemed to be glued to the ground in fear. 

      His facial expression was one of total shock and horror. The way the bullet wounds just closed up like that --- Disgusting! Blood remained, trailing down the man’s face ( two of the bullets had hit his face ). The man grinned, showing off large, white teeth. “Chi-chi-chi-chi!” the man laughed again. “That’s a funny face you got there!” He was talking to Spandam, who was still too terrified to say anything. To make matters worse, it turned out they hadn’t outrun the zombies after all. They now came jumping over the fence. However, they abruptly stopped when they spotted the tall man. They stumbled over each other, like they couldn’t stop fast enough.

      “Pitchu-Sama!” one of the zombies said. Spandam had never thought zombies could speak, and - why was the zombie sounding afraid? Obviously ‘ Pitchu-sama ‘ was referring to the tall man.

      “Whaaat’s that? I’m pretty sure I told you to not show yourselves in front of me.” His voice was hoarse and playful, but there was an obvious danger to it. The zombies were now trembling.

      “Yes, yes! Pitchu-Sama! We’re terribly sorry!” said the zombie, and all of the zombies fell to the ground, bowing.

      “We’re terribly sorry!” they all repeated.

      “Chi-chi-chi-chi!” the man laughed again. “I’m gonna count to three---” the Zombies quickly began to run away, back to the graveyard from which they came. The man turned his attention back to Spandam and the marines. “As I was saying. Your face is funny. Can I help you?” Spandam was one hundred percent sure that a man who could scare away zombies had zero intentions of being helpful. There had to be a reason why even the zombies were afraid of him. He snuffled and cleared his throat.

      “My name is Spandam, chief of CP5. I’m here to speak with Gekko Moria on behalf of the World Government.” he hoped that his title, and his capacity as a government official, would deter the man from harming him.

      “Ohhh! You’re here to see Moria? I’ll take you to him. Come, come.” the man gestured with a large hand. Spandam didn’t know what to do. His desire to follow the man was very low. At the same time... Perhaps not taking him up on the offer would anger him. He appeared to be in a pretty good mood, at least he was still grinning. Spandam slowly nodded.

      “T-thanks.. That’s kind of you.” He took a step, indicating that he’d follow the man. The marines followed. The man held up a large hand.

      “Only Spandam, ‘cause his face is funny. You -” he pointed towards the marines. “Are boring. I’m not escorting you. Don’t follow me.” What could Spandam do? He had even less desire to go with the man now that he’d be going alone. He had no choice though. Too afraid to turn down the offer, he followed. The two of them walked away from the marines, which were soon swallowed by the thick fog. “Spandam of CP5, huh? I’m Machi Pitchu. I’m a Thriller Bark Pirate.” the man introduced himself. Spandam had to walk in an up-tempo to keep up with him. Machi Pitchu. He looked younger than him, now that Spandam could take a closer look at him. Pitchu pushed the large, black door open, and held it open so that Spandam could walk inside. It creaked and almost slammed shut. Spandam swallowed.

      “I’m sorry about the... Shooting.” he said. His mouth felt dry.

      “Chi-chi-chi-chi!” Pitchu laughed. “Oh, don’t worry about that. It was funny! I’m a logia user, so bullets don’t bother me.” So he was a logia user. That explained why he was still alive. Spandam had never personally met a logia-user. He knew all the Admirals were. That’s how powerful a logia fruit was. “I ate the Ninjo-Ninjo-no-mi. I’m a gore-human.” Pitchu explained. How fitting that he lived here on this nightmare land, Spandam thought.