#[ now that my laptop is finally up and running though i'll try my best to get to everything i need to reply to before the day is through! ]

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Deja Vu | Jeon Jungkook | One Shot

Summary: Life hadn't gone down the path you had hoped for but the one who made that choice for you isn't someone you want to see ever again. Pairing: f!reader x Jungkook, childhood friends Word Count: 3k~ a/n: I wrote this last night in one go so I figured I might as well post it...let me know if you guys would like to see this from Jungkook's pov 👀 p.s. I got lazy and hardly edited this but I hope you guys like it lol Oh and this is loosely based off of the very beginning of Deja Vu by Tomorrow x Together

My fingers ghost along the spines of the books I pass by, looking for something that might catch my eye because yes sometimes I do judge a book by it's cover.

Finding one that seems interesting enough I turn it over, reading the summary of the fifth romance novel I've picked up since I've been here but when the bell on the door jingles giving notice of a newcomer I turn to see who it is...and I really I wish I hadn't.

My palms instantly clam up leaving me nervously wiping them off on my sweater so I don't damage the book but I can't let go of it since it's my only form of shelter, hiding in plain sight from the person I hoped to never see again.

Curiosity get's the best of me though, watching as he sits down and pulls out his laptop at one of the tables in this cafe bookstore hybrid, one of my favorites places in the city that I'll probably never come to again in fear of running into him.

He pulls a camera out of his bag and takes the memory card out before putting it in his computer to upload it's contents.

I guess he did end up becoming a photographer like he always wanted.

It's strange seeing someone who was so important to you for so many years become someone you barely even recognize. But that's the thing, I do recognize him and I hate the fact that no matter how hard I try I can't help think of him often. How is he doing? What does his life look like now? Has he finally found someone to love like I have?

Seeing him makes me doubt everything though, but that's just what he does. He makes it impossible for me not to be drawn to him, wanting to talk to him, to laugh with him, to be with him.

I thought I had moved past that. Thought that this silly little childhood crush had been nothing but that, a stupid crush that I finally grew out of.

But seeing him here tells me it's everything but that.

I look from him to the book I'm hiding behind, trying to distract myself and with the amount of effort I'm putting in it actually works...for a little while.

My eyes are begging me to let them wander again, indulge in the desire to observe him even if nothing comes from it and once I decide that one more look can't hurt instead of meeting his brows furrowed in concentration I meet his eyes.

His soft chocolate brown eyes that I've willed myself not to drown in time and time again are looking back at me, a soft smile reaching his lips when he finally sees me notice him making me sick to my stomach. 

Turning as subtly as I can I walk further into the maze of shelves around me, praying his interest in me was only fleeting and that he in fact did not recognize me.

After a few minutes of hiding in the corner that not many notice as it's a rather unpopular genre I let out the breath that I had decided to hold at some point, my need to be invisible necessary to my survival but when I decide the coast is clear and walk out of my little nook I bump into the exact person I wish I had never met all those years ago.

He holds onto my forearm as he sees me stumble back, unsure of if this minor collision would result in a fall and with his help, that I hate to admit I needed in the moment, prevents that mortifying occurrence from happening.

"I'm sorry that was my fault" he says and lets go of my arm, thankfully noticing how uncomfortable I am with his touch from my body language. "No it was mine, I should've been more careful coming out from behind that corner" I admit, a common courtesy after interactions like this, neither one wanting to admit it was the other persons fault.

"Well regardless I'm sorry" he says and I nod my head, looking down at the floor to avoid giving him a chance to recognize me. "I'm glad I caught you though, a fall against a bookshelf doesn't sound the most desirable" he chuckles, hoping to diffuse the awkward air around us but there's no use in him trying. He made that decision for the both of us a long time ago...

*Seven years ago*

"Please say something" I mumble, the five feet between us feeling like we're lightyears away, the silence a twin to the vacuum that is space.

He's right there but I know I've lost him for good with this stupid decision. "I don't know what to say" he mumbles right back leaving me scoffing in disbelief. "Then make something up. Anything is better than this" I say in reference to the radio silence between us since I decided to confess to him.

I know I shouldn't have done it. I know I'm selfish for telling him after all of these years and not simply fessing up to how I felt about him long ago but I was afraid that something like this might happen, and I was right. 

I hate that when it comes to him that I'm always right.

I could let us part ways and go to college leaving things left unsaid but I stupidly hoped that we could make it work. Do long distance so we wouldn't feel the need to go on dates or even worry about getting physical if it got to that point.

In my silly little crush clouded brain I thought that he would at least give us a shot but I know it was useless.

I know he doesn't feel the same way about me but I didn't realize it was gonna be this fucking hard.

"Just say something!" I say, raising my voice at him since I need to do something to keep myself from suffocating. "What do you fucking want me to say?" he throws back, getting just as upset but he has no reason to be acting like this, not when he holds our future in the palm of his hand.

"Say you don't like me, say you're not into me like that because from this reaction alone I know you probably don't feel the same way! Anything but this..." I say, my tone harsh but softening at the end, wanting to be mad at him but he's done nothing wrong. 

Nothing except for giving me false hope that we could be something more.

"I don't know how I feel about you" he admits and I scoff. "Well when you figure it out, you know where to find me" I say and pick up my bag that I had discarded on the table I had been sat on, waiting for him to finally show up.

I had decided to do this off campus.

We're seniors and although the rumors and humiliation from his rejection wouldn't go around for long it wasn't worth it to have the off chance of an audience.

No doubt they'll still circulate since the two of us have been conjoined at the hip since childhood but keeping the actual event from prying eyes was the best I could do.

I take one last look at him but his eyes are turned down, not even able to look me and so I walk to my car as fast as I can, holding back the stupid fucking tears that I told myself I would never cry.

I've always been told that boys aren't worth my tears, but he's not just some boy...

*Back to present time*

"Right um, thanks" I say and continue to look at my shoes, noticing the small scuff marks that I had accumulated from the many trips out I had taken them on, anything to distract myself from the man in front of me.

"I uh, I noticed you reading over there," he says, waving towards the general direction he had seen me at, "thought I would come over and introduce myself" he says, not letting me go with that simple apology for the unfortunate opening to us meeting again, though he doesn't know yet that we have absolutely no need for an introduction.

"Do you hunt down and force introductions with strangers often?" I mumble, wanting to be taken as closed off and disinterested as possible. He chuckles and I fucking hate how it makes my heart flutter, the same sound I had heard time and time again, although a little deeper now but no less charming.

"No, not often, but I didn't want to miss my opportunity since you decided to run off as soon as I caught your eye" he says, pointing out my obvious efforts of escape.

"I'm Jungkook" he says after there's been a lull in the conversation, holding out his hand for me to shake and after a pregnant pause I decide to take it, offering at least a common courtesy since I'm not the asshole in this relationship, or lack there of.

"It's nice to meet you" he says and I mumble the same sentiment back, not meaning a single word of it. "Do you talk to people's shoes often?" he teases as I haven't met his eyes since that initial glance, one he found inviting where as I felt was an ignition to my fight or flight, and unfortunately for me, yet fortunately for him, I chose wrong.

"That's not what I'm doing" I say, finally facing him, the difference in height a lot bigger than I remembered, his amused smile making it even more nerve racking, my body begging me to get the hell out of here.

"Then what is it that you were doing?" he asks, a crooked smile on his face but when a couple of beats passes by without me giving him an answer he takes that time to study me and when I see his expression changes to one of recognition I know there's no use in trying to get away unscathed.

"Yn?" he asks, my name no doubt feeling foreign on his lips but the way it sound to me is heartbreaking, a sound that I had hoped I would never hear again.

I decide to just look up at him, facing my fear since the answer to his barely articulated inquiry is quiet obvious to him now.

"What has it been, five year? Six years?" he asks, his eyes lighting up and his tone a relaxed one as if this is a happy reunion, showing that my feelings had really meant nothing to him.

"Seven actually" I say and he sighs in disbelief, "Has it really been that long?" he asks, a stupid question that could’ve been solved by a couple of seconds of mental math but I just hum as a response and try to walk past him, my first efforts of escape.

"Woah woah woah, where are you going?" he asks as if he had a right to keep me here. "Home" I say and try to walk down the path that'll lead me out of this bookstore that feels a lot smaller now.

"Do you have a second? I thought we could catch up? Maybe grab a coffee or something?" he suggests, nodding towards the cafe and I sigh, trying to think of the best way to shoot him down but luckily I don't have to, at least not now.

"I've been looking everywhere for you" David, my fiancé says, placing a just barely there kiss on my cheek as a way to somewhat establish our relationship to this unknown man in front of me.

When there's been another pause with me making no efforts of introduction David decides to take the initiative. "David" he says simply, holding out his hand for Jungkook to shake and he gives his name right back, their eye contact quickly broken as Jungkook's decided to bring his eyes back to me.

"Honey who's this?" David asks in a soft tone, placing a hand on my waist in reassurance, showing me he's not upset after finding me talking to this mystery man from his perspective. 

"We used to be friends back in school" Jungkook says when I still decide to hold my tongue, making this interaction even more uncomfortable than it needs to be but I have no obligation to make this go smoothly. His admission to having lost touch cracks open up a scab on my heart that I thought had healed long ago. 

"Oh, so you guys grew up together?" David asks and Jungkook nods. "Yeah...we did" he says softly, still looking at me as I've decided to look away from him after a few exchanges between the two of them.

"Honey do you think you could pull the car around? I'm sure he has something to get back to, as do we" I say, hoping he won't mind following my request without a need to ask for clarification. "Sure love, I'll text you when I'm out front" he says, him knowing that I'd no doubt like I second to wrap things up alone while remembering that we had to park pretty far away as it's an uncharacteristically busy day today.

"Thanks" I mouth to him and he places a kiss on my temple before holding his hand out for Jungkook again. "It was nice to meet you" he says and Jungkook nods half heartedly, "Yeah, you too" and he watches his back for a second as David leaves before turning his attention back to me.

"Boyfriend?" he asks unceremoniously, "Fiancé, actually" I say and he looks down and indeed sees the beautiful ring David had gotten me.

"Wow! Um, congratulations" he says, trying his hand at a halfhearted sentiment but failing miserably. "Yeah we've been together for four years so we figured it was time" I say and he nods his head giving me a sad smile.

"Well I'm happy for you" he says softly and I scoff, "No" I say abruptly to the point he flinches. "No?" he says as if he had never uttered the word before.

"You do not get to act like a kicked puppy because you didn't think I would move on" I say and place my pointer finger on his chest and he steps back as I apply pressure.

"What do you mean? I only said I was happy for you" he says as if he hadn't put on the saddest doe eyes he has ever given me. "You know you've gotten even more transparent with age" I say and he goes to open his mouth but I'm not done with him yet.

"You waltzed over here probably thinking I was just some cute girl that you wanted to shoot your shot with but when you found out it was me you wanted to what? Get a coffee? Act like nothing ever happened? Go back to the way we were? Or did you think you actually had a shot with me after everything you put me through?" I say practically shaking from the intensity of the words that I can't stop from coming out.

No warmth, no compassion left in my tone, just pure anger and disgust and I can tell from the way he's no longer carrying himself as confidently as before, he wasn't expecting this kind of a reaction from me.

After another pause as painful as the one all those years ago I scoff again, crossing my arms over my chest, losing patience with this conversation. "You gonna say something or are you still trying to figure out how you feel about me? Or better yet did you even bother to?" I spit out and he shakes his head.

"I was scared and stupid and selfish and couldn't figure out what the hell I wanted" he says, seemingly becoming more articulate over the years, but just barely.

"Is that all you have to say to me?" I ask, his explanation subpar at best. "Y/n I was eighteen and scared of losing you. You were the most important person in my life, and in some ways you still are" he admits but I shake my head and step away from him making him take a step towards me.

"You do not get to go around acting like the victim saying things like that just to mess with my head" I seethe, appalled that he thinks he has the right to say that to me. "Y/n I didn't mean to-"

"You know what?" I say, cutting him off, "I always thought that what you did, or didn't even bother to do showed that you didn't care about my feelings, but I never thought of you as being cruel. Maybe that whole time you were just toying with my feeling just because you could. You never expected me to have the guts to finally tell you how I felt huh?"

"Y/n please that's not what happened" he says, chasing after me when I start to walk away from him. "Then what did happen huh?" I spit out, waiting for whatever sorry excuse to come out of his mouth.

"I never meant to hurt you..." he says, reaching out for my hand but I move out of the way.

I give him one last once over, looking at how heartbroken and pathetic he looks but I have no sympathy for him and from the way the last bit of hope drains from his eyes he finally realizes that there's no saving this.

He tries once more to say something but we're interrupted by the text we both knew I was begging to come in.

"Y/n..." he says and tries to see if I'll give him one last chance but I turn my back and walk towards the door, my hand resting on the handle for longer than necessary, contemplating if this was the right choice but for the sake of my future I know that it was.

"Goodbye Jungkook" I utter under my breath and pull the door open to walk out. When I turn back to close the door behind me I do myself a horrible disservice by looking through the glass and seeing an expression on his face that I'll never forget.

Loss

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[iouinotes]

Show-off | Mike Ross

pairing: Mike Ross x female!reader

show: Suits

genre: smut word count: 2,9k

summary: you and your co-worker Mike dont get along very well. But when you have something that he needs, suddenly everything is different.

a/n: Just watched the first two episodes of "Suits" and something about Mike is really attractive-

Working in a well-known office as a lawyer has it's advantages. Such as being respected by business people or being able to afford a lot of things, you spend all your evenings analyzing documents rather than meeting actual people.

Nevertheless, sometimes there are also negative factors. For example, my co-worker Mike, who really believes, that he is with his ridiculously skinny tie and sarcastic humor better than the others. Or right now, better than me.

"God, I cant believe you. Can you behave for once?" I use my fingers to push my hair back in frustration, noticing how my head starts to hurt. Its 10 pm and I'm currently trying to stay calm, though because of one man in particular, my nerves seem to be getting thinner within seconds. Valuable time is wasted that I could spend somewhere else instead of with him.

"Now it's my fault, that you don't have the documents with you? Sorry, I can't help you being organized in your own workplace." His voice irritates me. Everything about him is so frustrating.

"I told you, I didnt get the message! How am I supposed to know, that you need something, when you don't tell me anything about it? Maybe you should stop being so childish and ask me in the first place, instead of running to Rachel!" If our job had nothing to do with justice and we werent literally standing in a law company right now, I would kill him. And then I wouldn't hesitate to go to court and say it was self-defense, because I didnt want to hear any of his miserable excuses anymore.

"So what do you think, I should do? I need these documents for tomorrow. Please, I know you don't like me, but it is really urgent." Why does he has such blue eyes? The look he is going me is even more irritating than his voice.

I sign, exhibit my laptop and try to put the pens back, that are laying all over my desk.

"Okay, fine. As I said, the documents are at home, so-" I don´t even get to finish my sentence.

"Great, so I'll meet you there. And I wont even tell anyone, if your place is a mess." His eyes wander over my messy desk, and even If I don´t like to admit it, it's a bad habit of mine. But, he shouldn't make any assumptions about the neatness in my apartment.

"I hope you loose the documents on your way home." At my words, he grins smugly.

"Well, then I could lie and say you didnt found them anymore and I hadnt had the chance to go through them." He leans towards me.

"I'll run you over with my car." He raises his eyebrows at my threat.

"You sure should do something that makes you smile more often. Is that even something you know how to do?" I show him my middle finger and turn to left my office. When I close the door, I hear the laughter in his voice.

"The next storm should be named after you as quickly as you left the room." He follows after me.

"Can you shut up for once? Oh, I forgot. You don´t last one second being silent. Thats a shame, the world could finally heal." His hand rests on his heart, his features fake a hurt expression.

"Ouch. You really don´t like me that much, huh?" His eyes try to search mine.

"You get on my nerves on purpose every fucking day. Should I thank you for that?" I turn my head to look at him.

"Yes, you should. Your life would be so boring without me." He grins at me again from the side, that typical grimace that is always adorn on his face.

"You wish." When I tell him my address, he raises his eyebrows, but before he can make an unfavorable comment, I get into my car.

Darkness surrounds me and when I see him going away, I lower my head to the steering wheel. He really is the best at confusing my emotions.

~~~~~

I turn off the lights of my car and get out of it, so I can finally make my way to my flat. Its not something special, I mean I have a living room, which is quite big and connected to the kitchen, a bedroom and a bath. But I am very lucky, because I have a small balcony, from which I can watch the stars at night. But I usually only do that when I can't sleep.

So, when I enter my apartment, I let my eyes wander over the manageable mess, I put some clothes back in the closet and the dishes in the washing machine. The place almost looks decent, when I hear the doorbell.

As I open the door, I'm nervous for some reason. I let him in and turn to my office drawers, looking for the document.

"Nice place. You live here alone?" His fingers trace my bookshelf, I see him reading the titles.

"No, my wife is still at work." When I look at him dead serious, I see him laugh in surprise.

"So, you do have humor. I thought, you were one of those exceptions that wouldn't be able to do that." He means it as a joke, but something in my chest hurts.

When I reply with a monotonous voice, I see his eyebrows pull together. "I live here alone. That's what you wanted to hear?" I'm getting more frustrated again with every second he's around me.

"No- I didnt mean it that way. I'm sorry. My intentions were good, I promise." When I look at him for a moment, I see his honest expression.

It would be so easier for me to hate him, if I didnt know, he was a good human. Well, most of the time.

We are silent for a moment, but when I hear his footsteps, I tense up.

"What are you doing?" He's now standing right next to me.

"Helping you. You seem a little, tense?" I glare at him for a moment and he raises his hands in defense.

"Just pointed out the obvious. But dont worry. You still look lovely." I stop in my movements at his words.

"Thats such shock for you?" His voice shows surprise and a certain curiosity.

"Only that you say it." I look into his eyes.

"Well, you may think I'm dumb, but I'm not blind."

He just called me beautiful, sort of. It´s confusing me.

When I finally find the documents, I hold my hand out to him.

"I don´t think you are dumb. I think you're annoying. And a show-off. I don´t like that." His eyes follow me.

"What do you like then?" His question surprises me. He slowly takes the documents out of my hand, his finger gently brushing mine.

"I don´t think that is any of your business." I try to clear my voice. His touch makes me shiver.

"Come on, tell me. Would that be so bad?" His whole presence is making me nervous and I feel my hands start to shake.

At work, I can always hide behind a mask, pretend that nothing he does affects me. I can act like I truly hate him, even though I catch myself looking at him, from time to time. Especially when he shows off his intelligence without realizing it, impresses his clients and -I would never admit it- me too. It's a certain charm about him, the way he always knows how to answer, while being mischievous and clever about it.

But now, that he's in my apartment and so close to me, it's suddenly different. And I don't know how to react to him being nice.

"I look for someone who isnt afraid of commitment. Someone who is honest and kind, but who also challenges me. I want to feel safe, so I can put my trust not only in myself."

He nods and is quiet for a moment, I begin to feel stupid for telling him all of that, when he responds.

"I get that. Someone whose shoulder you can lean on when things get too much. Someone who meets your needs, who wants to be in your life. For longer than a one-night stand." He smiles at me and I see for the first time, why I possibly could like him.

"Also, statistics show higher rates of being robbed or kidnapped, when you have one-night stands." This remark almost makes me laugh, even though it's frightening.

"Well, who would even notice, if I would disappear? Probably only my clients, because they need me." I lower my head, being completely honest with him for the first time.

"I would notice."

When I look at him, he takes a step towards me. His fingers gently slide over my shoulder and brush my hair aside, the touch makes a warm feeling bloom in my chest.

"I couldn't annoy you anymore. My life would be pretty boring without you. And it's not so bad to be able to look at such a pretty face every day, even if it always looks at me annoyed, like all the time." I quietly laugh at that, feeling surprisingly good because of his compliment.

We look at each other, now being really close. My eyes travel to his lips and I don´t even know how it happens, but suddenly he is all over me. His lips on mine, his hands on my waist, lifting me up to sit me on the desk. I moan softly when his hands tangle in my hair and he pushes himself closer to me, so that he's standing between my legs. One of his hands gently wraps around my neck and I feel my loud pulse.

My hands move too, stroking his back and holding him closer to me by his tie. As he pulls his lips away from me, he lifts my chin with his finger. Now, looking down at me with widen pupils. I hold his eye contact, forgetting all about my issues with him, when he speaks to me with a deep voice (which I suddenly don´t think sounds irritating anymore).

"Be angry at me tomorrow and mine for tonight. I bet, all your frustration from work and your thin nerves can catch a break, what do you say?"

Not much. Because I pull him towards me by his tie and kiss him again. I don't want to stop at all anymore. He returns the kiss with the same enthusiasm and his hands find their way to my waist again to lift me up again. When he crosses the living room with quick steps and lays me down on the sofa, I already feel out of breath and clearly turned on.

His kisses become more intense, his lips move from my mouth to my neck, leaving marks there. But it feels too good to make him stop.

"I will gladly hear your excuses, when someone asks you about your hickeys tomorrow. Because you will be all flustered, when you think again about this moment. Where you are ready to be fucked by your colleague, who you despise so much." I whimper as he pushes up my dress and his hands pull my tights down to my knees. The cold air hits my skin, but I don't really notice it, because his lips are on my neck again and his fingers connect first with my stomach and then further down. I hold my breath as his lips touch my ear and his fingers stroke my folds.

"So wet for me. Didnt think, I would turn you on this much." I kiss him to shut him up.

"You are-" I moan, when he finally puts a finger in me. "-so annoying." He laughs at me.

"Am I? But you seem to like it." I feel myself getting wetter, his fingers feel so good as they move gently but firmly inside me. One of his hands moves to push my dress further up and somehow, he manages to pull it over my head. Now, I'm lying in front of him in just a bra, his hands slowly find their way over my body and to my back, which I lift slightly so that he can open the clasp.

When I lie naked in front of him and he massages my breasts, his lips touch mine and his fingers stimulate me, I feel like I'm in heaven.

He breaks apart, so he can look at me and I draw my eyebrows together, when his fingers increase in speed. My mouth opens and the sounds that escape me echo in the apartment.

"I'm- god, I think I am going to come-" at that he starts to tease me, going slower but a lot deeper. My eyes almost roll back as he hits a certain spot inside me.

"That feels good? What do you say, when you want something?" You stupid idiot.

"You stupid-" I begin to say as his lips graze my nipple and his finger scissor and stretch me out further.

"One word, darling. Say it." And because I feel this knot inside me (and maybe this side of him turns me on, like a lot), I finally open my mouth to please him.

"Please, Mike. I-I need to-" My sentence is cut off as his fingers speed up and I moan loudly.

"Thats a good girl, you can be so good to me, if I make you." His lips search mine as I finally come. My breathing is heavy and when I come down from my high and look at his face, I see the satisfied expression.

"You are done-" I can't maintain my strict facial expression and suddenly have to start smiling. His eyes widen in surprise and I raise my eyebrows, still smiling softly.

"What?" I quietly laugh at his expression.

"Nothing, its just- I have never seen you smiling so happy." I roll my eyes gently. As I look at him closer now, I see the bulge in his pants and the loosened tie. As I lean forward, his eyes shift to my body.

"You still are fully clothed. A bit unfair, don't you think?" I watch him swallow and my hands move to his chest to slowly unbutton his shirt. As I also remove the tie and slip the shirt from his shoulders, I sit myself on his lap. Rocking my hips forward and seeing his eyes close. His hands move to my hips and begin to control the movements, my eyes close too and my head leans into the crook of his neck as the movements become faster.

Sighs and heavy breaths leave his lips and once again, one of his hands moves to grab my breasts, lightly grazing the nipples.

I look at him, noticing his swollen lips and his flushed cheeks. His hair is a mess and his forehead is furrowed, but he tries his best to pull himself together.

I groan as I look at him and suddenly think back to todays afternoon, when he was on a phone call and I heard how he listed one reciting fact after another, without any difficulty.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"N-nothing" I'm definitely too embarrassed to admit how much his intelligence and the way he seems to know everything, turns me on.

One of his hands moves to my entrance and teases me by just circling around it. When I try to push myself down, he pulls his fingers away.

"You tell me, whats going on in that pretty head of yours and you'll get me." My body feels so hot, I can't think properly anymore.

"You where on a phone call today and you just- you listed without any effort every single point that will help you win the case. You just said it like- it's nothing."

When his fingers dig into me again, I bite my lips. I try to control my moans and not pay attention to the fact, that I just gave him every opportunity to make him be more complacent than his usual self.

His fingers pump into me and I feel slightly overstimulated. But I wouldnt want to stop now.

"You get off by the thought of me, saying memorized facts? Who would have thought that my intelligence would turn you on so much." God, his ego probably doesn't fit in this apartment anymore.

"Don't think too highly of yourself, you still annoy me." Now I'm really just trying to get myself out of the situation. I lean towards him, so he can't say anything anymore and pull on his blonde hair to distract him.

Moans escape my lips and when I notice that his noises are also getting louder, I pull away from him. He looks at me confused.

"I want you inside me." Thats all I say, but he quickly complies with my request. I slide off his lap and wait for him to take off his pants and boxers until he's finally on top of me again. His fingers find my bottom lip and while maintaining eye contact, I open my mouth so he can insert a finger. My tongue brushes against his and after a few moments of him pressing on my tongue, he lets his fingers move back to the spot that needs him the most.

He stretches me for a few minutes until he finally guides his cock to my hole and slowly penetrates me. My eyes close and I hear his breath in my ear as he pushes further.

"You are so tight- good thing finally someone fucks you." I nod without thinking and hear his laughter in my ear.

"You think so too, huh. Would you let anyone fuck you then?" My stomach tenses, I feel the pleasure growing again and every movement of him. This feels so good-

I try to shake my head, but I'm too lost in the sensations to pay much attention to his words.

"No? But I thought, you hate me. Why would you let me fuck you, if you don´t even like me?" His thrusts become faster and more uncontrolled, I feel him getting closer to his own high.

"I-" I try to stutter "d-don´t hate you." I feel myself getting closer and reach into his hair, pulling at the roots and feeling his lips on my shoulder. His thrusts become more powerful and as he moves his hand and massages my clitoris, suddenly everything goes white in front of my eyes and I come.

I feel every inch inside of me, feel his fingers brush over the visible bulge in my stomach and think to myself: god I feel so full

When he comes too, I moan so loudly that it's impossible that my neighbors didn't hear me. His hand finds its way around my chin, he slides a finger into my mouth and I feel my vagina tighten because of it.

He hisses and his thrusts slow down until he finally pulls out of me, trying not to fall on top of me. As I give him some space next to me, he falls halfway on me, but pulls me on top of him in the next second and I can hear his strong heartbeat. With his outstretched hand he pulls the blanket over me, that had fallen to the floor.

We both try to catch our breath and as the minutes pass, only the wind outside is heard. He is the first to break the silence.

"So, you don't hate me?" I lift my head from his naked chest to look at him.

"Only sometimes." He shakes his head and smiles, gently stroking my back.

The evening went by quickly, we ordered a pizza and ate it (clothed) on the terrace. We were going over his documents for tomorrow, I blushed at the thought that this was the real reason he came here, but he just hugged me from behind after we finished and continued watching the stars.

It's not really clear what this evening means for us, but I don´t want to get into that, not yet. Because I'm not sure what it means anyway.

Because now, I have to get used to the fact that his voice no longer irritates me, that his jokes no longer annoy me and that he as a person, is actually not as bad as I imagined.

"Who thought, I was the one to get you relax."

But he is still a show-off.

[milliesfishes]

⋆౨ৎalex with a girl who has anxiety⋆౨ৎ fem reader x alex nilsen

Tossing your keys into the repurposed ashtray, you hung your purse on the wall hook, slipping shoes off as quietly as possible. It all felt robotic, almost like it was someone else performing these actions. That was always how it felt after doctor's appointments, no matter the type. You had just come from a checkup and your heart was pounding Morse code into your chest that you didn't at all want to translate.

Running a tired hand over your face, you wandered down the hallway, happening on Alex on the living room couch, squinting at his laptop. He'd changed out of what he'd worn to school this morning, now in a t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Upon hearing you, he lifted his eyes from the screen. "Hi baby. I called you, are you-?" Noticing the look on your face, he cut himself off.

Biting the side of your cheek, you shifted on your feet, feeling the color flood your cheeks. Even though he'd assured you a million times that your worrying wasn't something to be embarrassed about, you still felt the twinges of it every time.

Setting his laptop on the coffee table, Alex frowned, reaching out for you. "C'mere. Did everything go okay?"

You flew into his arms, burrowing into his chest. He let out a quiet oomph when you landed unexpectedly on him, but adjusted, rubbing your back. "What happened? Is everything good?"

"Yeah," you murmured muffled into him. "I just...going makes me feel icky."

"Gotcha," Alex said, stroking your hair and letting his hand trail down to your back, rubbing it lightly. He was quiet for a moment before saying, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

You shook your head, and he pressed a kiss to your head. "That's okay. Do you wanna go change? I'll wait right here for you."

Nodding, you stood a little reluctantly, trying to keep your breathing steady. In a haze, you found your way to the bedroom and stripped your clothes away, replacing them with one of Alex's shirts, a soft one from so many times being washed.

He smiled when you reappeared, reaching a hand out. Now his feet were on the couch, legs parted lazily. The space between them was an invitation, and you accepted it. Alex settled you comfortably between his knees, back to his chest. He pressed a hand to your heart, and the firmness of it caused the poor thing to slow down. His presence sobered you from your panic, and you took in a deep breath, feeling like smoke had been cleared from your lungs.

Alex leaned his cheek against your head, letting the quiet stretch and curl around you like a cat. He waited a minute to speak, and when he did, it was a mumble. "My shirt's big on you, huh?"

"Mhm," you hummed, closing your eyes. This was heaven; being safe with him. It was cozy with your head resting on his chest, him half-slouched, half lying down with one hand on your chest, the other splayed on your belly.

"Do you wanna order in tonight?" he asked casually, drawing delicate circles into your hip.

"Yeah." You smiled finally. Even without talking about it, he knew what you needed. Food and cuddles were the best medicine to worrisome events for you, and he was always happy to provide them in tenfold.

Alex pulled out his phone, propping it on your stomach and looking up the name of your favorite restaurant with his chin on your head. He held the screen still while you tapped out your order, then added his share, kissing your head while pressing the confirm button. "Thirty minutes," he announced, even though you could see it.

You turned in his arms so that your stomachs were pressed together, snuggling right into him. Alex smiled fondly, smoothing your hair behind your shoulders. "That means thirty minutes of cuddles."

The peaceful feeling clouding your senses was becoming dormant, and you nodded into him. "And more after."

He'd reached over to his laptop without letting go of you, typing a streaming service into the search bar with one hand and pulling up one of your favorite movies. Burying his nose into your hair, he nudged his lips against it. "Lots more after."

[scarletwinterxx]

take a chance with me - mark lee imagine

hi🥺😊 it's been a while since i wrote something this long, I wanted to take my time and do my best. I hope you like it.🤍

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

song inspo: take a chance with me by niki

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2023 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"You got the Bruno Mars tickets?"

Mark looks up to see you looking a bit disheveled, still panting from running he assumes.

She still looks cute. Says his internal monologue but he quickly shuts that down, putting this tough shell back on in front of you instead.

"Yeah why?" he asks nonchalantly

You hold 1 finger up, signalling for him to wait while you catch your breath.

"Who are you going with?"

"Dery, supposedly but he got tickets too so now I'm not sure" he answers, his attention back on his laptop screen. There are so many things he should be doing right now to the point that he feels like the 24 hours of his day isn't enough and yet he can't seem to shoo you away.

He'll spare you a minute, an hour, or how long you ask him but you don't know that. And he won't say that out loud now that the two of you have broken up. His clock stops when he's with you.

Mark wants to scold himself for always giving into you, but he can't help it. It's you.

"Take me" you say straightforward, no sense of hesitation.

This made Mark look up at you again, raising a brow as he asks you "Now why would I do that?"

"Because we're friends?" throwing a question back at him

"God don't say that, it's weird" he mumbles, acting as if he was shaking of chills as you say the word friends

"You're the one who said we should be friends, this is me being a friend"

"This is you trying to piggyback on me to watch Bruno Mars"

"See, you still know me so well. Now why did we even break up?" you joke, but it wasn't well received on the other end so you cleared your throat "Right sorry, sore topic" you mumble

"I'll think about it" Mark tells you before his gaze returns on his screen

You smile down at him even though he's not looking at you. "In your book, that's a yes. Call me, bye" you tell him before walking away.

After that encounter with you, Mark of course couldn't keep his mouth shut and told his friend about it. He can already hear Hendery scolding him for being a 'simp'.

"Tell me you didn't say yes that fast" Hendery asks his bestfriend but he already knows the answer

"Mark, dude I thought we're working on the whole 'I'm moving on for real this time' era of yours"

"I am, I am over it. She's just going with me because I have extra tickets, which by the way was supposed to be yours. I paid a good amount for those" he scowls at the other boy

"And you didn't even think twice about giving it away to her, we could've sold that or something. Just say you're still whipped and go. What's the point of me lecturing you everytime about your failed love live if you're never gonna listen"

"I can't fail my love life if I don't have a love life" the Leo man justifies

"Okay you got a point there, so here's my proposal. We should find you a new girl so you can finally finally stop being such a simp"

Mark swears he trusts Hendery with his life, but also a big part of him doubts his Libra bestfriend even when he's staying still and doing nothing.

"I'm not a simp" Mark grumbles like a child. He can hear Hendery snicker from beside him,

"Sorry what was that? I can't hear bullshit. Get back to me when you finally mean it"

He really hoped Hendery was kidding when he said he'll find him someone, he had so many reason why this isn't a good time to date but he can't stop him once he sets his mind on something. Especially if it meant it'll give Mark a headache, which in that case is Hendery's forte.

But if there's someone topping that list, the number one person to make Mark's temporal pulse go thumping hard. It would be you. And you know exactly know to get on his last nerve whether he likes it or not.

"I can't believe you got floor tickets, and Dery passed this up?" you say from beside him as you look around the venue. It's the day of the concert and just like you said, you showed up in front of his doorstep 10 hours earlier with the most excited look on your face.

"He's somewhere over there, said he prefers it so yea" he answers, looking at his watch to check the time. His nonchalance making you look over at your ex-boyfriend slash friend.

"Why are you grumpy? Does it really bother you I'm here? I can pay for the tickets" you tell him.

Mark looks over at you, noting your serious expression. He didn't want to ruin tonight for you, for the both of you so he shakes his head.

"No, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. I invited you"

"I invited myself, I'll send you the payment after the show" you tell him then look away.

Great, now you're in a bad mood and he has to figure out how to fix it. He lets out a sigh, looking away from you. The ticket is not really the issue tonight, neither you being here tonight. It's his mind being at war again, asking him questions he have long buried in the depths of his consciousness.

It's like you press the reset button in him every time. He hates it but he can't walk away from you either. So as a result, he sometimes acts too harsh towards you.

Mark thinks of something to break the tension,

"Hey, remember when I said I wanted to watch Bruno Mars with you" Mark tells you, slightly leaning towards you to whisper by your ear

You do remember. Back when you were still dating he did say he wanted to go attend concerts with you, when he learned yours and his favorite artist was the same he got so excited and put it on his bucket list to watch Bruno Mars with you.

"Huh?" you mumbled, pretending like you were having a hard time recalling that memory but really it's still fresh like it happened just yesterday

"My bucket list, said I wanted to watch Bruno with you. Guess I can check it off from that now" he smiles

"Does it still count even when we're not dating anymore?" you can't help but ask, you expected him to react violently like he always does when you bring it up but instead he just smiles at you again

"It counts as long as it's with you" he answers then he looks away. Not catching the way your gaze stayed on him for a few more moments, in those moments you wondered what if that wasn't the case.

What if you never broke up. What if he was still yours.

A lot of what ifs you'll never know the answer to.

Instead of linger on that, you just look away from him. Ignoring the dull ache in your heart.

That night turned out for the better, probably a night you'll never forget. You had so much fun, singing and jumping along your favorite songs. There were times when you looked beside you to see Mark doing the same. Seeing the biggest smile on his face as he holds his phone up to capture the moment.

Instead of saying anything, you just watch him with a smile. Missing seeing him this happy and carefree.

After the show, Mark offered to drive you home. You were too tired to say no so you just sat on his passenger seat as he drives down the familiar street. He didn't need to check his GPS to know, he know these roads like it's the way to his own home.

In a way it used to be like that, you used to be his home.

He didn't say much when he dropped you off, watching you enter your building and only driving away when he's sure you safe inside.

"Mark, my friend"

"No" Mark cuts off Hendery before he could even say anything but of course his bestfriend didn't take any offence nor thought about listening to him, he continued when Mark didn't say anything else

"As I was saying, remember when I said I'll find you someone. Well I kinda did, a bunch of us is going hiking this weekend and this girl Arin is coming. Heard she's had a thing for you for a while now"

"How can she have a thing for me when she doesn't know me?" he mumbles, already getting grumpy with the idea of going out

"I can't explain the way of the universe to you my friend, she just does. Don't make me say you're one handsome man because I won't" Hendery says

"You just did though"

"So you're coming right?" Hendery asks with a devilosh smile like he's already plotting something

"Do I have a choice?"

"Hey don't look at me like that, it was your choice coming here" Haechan tells you as you let him drag you trough the woods at 5am in the morning

"You told me we were going to get coffee at this place with killer view. I'm about to be the killer here and you're in my view" you tell him, sending glares his way but this doesn't deter your friend.

"We are getting coffee, after we go hiking. Hey! No hitting!"

As the two of you bicker some more you don't notice the other people joining you for today's hike arrive.

From across the lot, Mark spots you and Haechan. Just as he looks over, he sees Haechan bend down to whisper something to you and you hitting him lightly making the guy laugh.

It’s been a while since he last saw you, after the concert you really didn't reach out that much. Not that he expected you to, the last text you sent him was a short thank you for taking you to the concert.

You weren't avoiding him, it's been a while since you went out with a big group of friends since you and Mark did share a lot of mutual friends. You didn't want to make it awkward for everyone, so instead you mostly declined the invites when you know he might come too.

And Mark, well he’s been keeping his distance from you too. It's always you who talks to him first, always letting you make the first step.

He knew you were close to Haechan. If he’s being honest there were enough times he felt jealous even.  He pushes that thought away as fast as it came. He didn't know you were coming this weekend, a detail Hendery failed to mention.

"Hey don't freak out, but your ex is here" Haechan tells you

Whipping your head around then back at him, waiting for him to say it was a joke

"No he isn't"

"Yep, he's over there. Wait don't look"

Too late you're already looking. And there he was indeed. Luckily Mark was too busy unloading stuff from the car to notice you looking over at him

“If only your gaze could make him notice you, he’d probably be here already having an actual conversation with you” Haechan whispers to you

“You know not every thought that pops into your head should be said outloud, you can just shut it” you answer, taking your gaze off from the guy from across the lot.

“It wouldn’t be too bad to admit you miss him, when it’s this obvious”

“Again, thoughts to your self. I don’t need you whispering in my ear like a little devil” this time it earned him a hit on the shoulder. From across the lot, Mark’s eyes glaze towards the direction where you were standing with your friend. 

“He’s looking over here, by the way” Haechan tells you when his eyes met with Mark’s, the other guy quickly averting his gaze somewhere else. 

“Shut up”

"He was, and I'm pretty sure he had the look of murder on his face when he saw me leaning a little to close to you"

"I have the look of murder whenever I look at you, now can I get a drink in peace without you breathing down my neck" you grumbled, rethinking all the choices you made which led you here. You should've been anywhere but here.

Anywhere except where Mark is. You thought.

"He's coming, act cool. Hey guys!"

You glare at Haechan one last time before looking to see Hendery, Mark, Yoo Jimin, Arin and Yeonjun.

"You guys got here early?" Hendery asks

"No, we just got here too. Ready to go?"

Everyone said yes then you were off.

You try to focus on not tripping and not think about Mark, which you kind of succeeded. The group made small talk among each other, of course with Haechan and Hendery there aren't any dead air.

When you got to the trickier part of the hike, the trail was steep and kinda hard to climb up. Some of the boys offered to go up first to assist while the others stay behind to make sure no one get's left behind.

Hendery and Haechan took the lead while Mark and Yeonjun stayed behind. You were standing behind Jimin and infront of Yeonjun, taking careful steps.

"Haechan Lee, when we get to the top I'm going to push you off" you tell your friend who was laughing from somewhere infront

"I thought this was easy, not gonna lie I'm gonna pass out soon" Jimin says

"Same" you mumble, resting your hand on your knee to catch your breath

"Hey you okay? Need help with your bag?" Yeonjun asks you, Mark who is standing at the very back listens to the conversation.

"No, it's okay" you politely decline

"You sure?" nodding at him, "Jimin, do you need help with yours?" Yeonjun asks the girl to which she answers with a loud yes and quickly passing her bag to him.

You let Yeonjun walk infront of you, leaving you and Mark at the very back of the line. Mark takes a water bottle from his bag, opens it before passing it over to you. You didn't even think twice about grabbing it, not really paying attention to who's beside you. Kind of forgetting if for a moment before you stood straight again to meet Mark's eyes looking at you.

"Uh thanks" you say holding up the bottle of water

"No problem, need help with your bag?" he asks, he did hear you already say no to Yeonjun but he can't help bu ask

"It's fine, you're already carrying yours" you tell him, shooting him a quick smile before resuming your walk. But before you can take another step, you felt him grab your wrist to pull you back.

"Wha-" then he was pulling one strap of your backpack then the other before putting it on him. Now he's carrying his backpack and yours.

"Mark, come on I can carry that" you try to get it back but he blocks your hands with his arm. Gently pushing you infront of him.

"I'll give it back when you don't look like you're about to pass out, now go. We're falling behind" he tells you, and when he gets this serious you have no choice but to follow him.

For the rest of the hike, you and Mark walk in silence. Passing the water bottle back to him every once and a while, not even noticing you're practically sharing it with him. And when there was a branch too big on your way, you felt his hands on your waist. Guiding you from behind.

"Careful" he mumbles

Too stunned to say anything, you make your way over. Haechan was there waiting for you. He helps you up with this sly smirk on his face, you send a glare to him. Already reading his mind and what's he's about to ask you later.

"And we're here! Look at that view" Hendery announces.

For a moment, all seven of you just admire the view.

"Okay, tell me I did good" Haechan bumps your shoulder, you roll your eyes

"Fine, this was worth all of that" you mumble while the guy beside you throw his fist in the air like he just won a very important arguement.

All of you find spots to sit and get comfortable while eating the snacks you brought and drink the coffee brought by Arin apparently.

"I'm working at the cafe near campus so I kinda picked up a few tricks here and there, taste it. Hope it tastes okay" she tells the group.

Passing the thermos around, you take a cup and wait for your turn. Haechan pours some on your cup for you, and even got you your favorite pastry which honestly might be the highlight of your week.

Meanwhile, Mark was not so subtly watching from the side as you smile at the other guy. Even saw you bump your head on Haechan's shoulder affectionately, probably since you can't give him high five with your hands fill. It's something he knows you do when you get all happy and excited. The coffee tasted okay but something else left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"We should go here again, it's nice to just be out of the city" Yeonjun says

"True, I was dying back there but I'd do it again for this" Jimin says with a smile, all of you looking out the view. Watching as the sun slowly ascend up the sky.

The seven of you spent a few more hours there, just talking and sharing stories then it was time to go. The hike back was much easier and faster since you kinda know where to go.

Saying goodbye to the group when you got back to the parking lot. You help Haechan put your bags in the trunk.

"Hey uhm I was wondering if you want to grab coffee sometime" you're not sure who was speaking so you look behind you only to see Arin standing beside Mark.

For a moment, Mark meets your eyes but you quickly looked away and made your way inside Haechan's car. You'd rather not hear the rest of that conversation, saving your self from the misery.

Haechan looks over at you with confusion, then behind him to see what you saw. And when he saw Mark looking where you were, he understood. He closed the trunk making Arin and Mark look at him, "We'll go now, see you around guys" he shoots them a smile and a wave before jogging over the driver's side.

"You good?" he asks you when he got in the car

"I think so"

"I'm not gonna make fun of you if you say no" he tells you which kind of did make you laugh.

"Just tired, and you still owe me coffee"

"Fine, I'll get you some. Only because you're sulking right now"

You wanted to say he was wrong and that you weren't sulking but that would be not true.

Not sure either why you suddenly feel so down. You and Mark have broken up for over a year and in no place to feel jealous if he decides to date again. And at the end of the day it was yo who broke up him.

Deciding to treat yourself, you walked around the neighborhood to buy some snacks and your favorite ice cream.

Mark just drove Arin home after going out to grab dinner together, they had a good talk. He's not as naïve as Hendery thinks, he can definitely see why he said Arin might like him. But Mark of course being the gentleman that he is, let her down in the most gentle way he could.

"It's just, I'm not really looking for a relationship right now" he tells her

"I understand that, I can wait" she smiles at him, a look of determination on her face. "I've been meaning to say hi to you and introduce myself to you for a while now. And now that I have met you, I really can't promise I that I can stop liking you"

He chuckles at that, "Thanks, I guess. It's for you to decide, all I'm saying is that I might not reciprocate your feelings for me. Sorry"

"What are you sorry for? We still have time, you can atleast give that to me right" Arin asks

In his mind he already said no. He just smiles though.

After he got home, he still couldn't sleep because for some reason he can't keep you off his mind.

Thinking what if it was you in his place, did you ever have someone ask you out. Is there someone else now. Was it Haechan? Yeonjun?

Too lost in his thoughts, he spots a convenient store nearby and decided to buy an ice cream. Just when he step out of the store, he spots someone sitting outside by the benches.

He'd recognize that jacket anywhere because he was the one who bought it. You've always had a love for all things cozy and fluffy. The teddy bear like jacket was a gift from him last Christmas, he can still remember the smile you had on when he gave it to you.

"What are you doing out here?" he asks you, catching you by surprise. He then takes the seat across from you

"Had a bad day, thought the ice cream would make me feel better. You, why are you here?" you ask back, not expecting to meet him here of all places

"Had a lot to think about, thought the ice cream would help" he answers, "Want to talk about it?" Mark asks before he could even think about it. Normally he would stop himself from prying into your business, respecting the boundaries the two of you have now.

Shaking your head in reply, he understood you won't say anything after that

"I can't tell you because it won't be fair" you mumbled

"Why won't it be fair?"

"Because you're my ex" you tell him, it flew right out of your mouth before you stop and think about it. Looking up at Mark to see him looking at you already,

"Don't worry about it, don't worry about me I'll be fine" you mumble with a small smile. Trying to make it better somehow.

"Why do you do that?" he asks

"What?"

"Run. You always run away from me when I get even a step too close. Even when we were together, you always to that. You always had this wall around you that even I couldn't go around, did you not trust me?" for such an intense gaze, he asked that question so calmly. Like his eyes were saying one thing and his lips were saying another.

"I don't trust myself. Every time something good happens to me, I always ruin it. Every time I think I'm the happiest, I get this overwhelming fear that something will take it away from me. I'm messed up, I know that and you're the last person I want to dump all that mess on" you answer.

For the first time since the break up you finally talk about it. Flashbacks of that night replaying in your head. Remembering how he asked you why multiple times and not being able to give him the answer

"Do you think it could've worked if only I held on to you tighter or would you have hated if I did?" he asks

"Probably, but we won't know. I'd rather keep our memories in a good way than regret it"

"Do you hate me?

He waits.

One second.

Two seconds.

His clock stops once again because of you.

Then he hears you speak,

"Never"

You smile at him warmly, just like you used to. "I know it's hard to understand and accept what I did. I didn't want to drag you down with me, I have bad days and even worse days. Back then it felt like you were the only good thing in my life, I was scared that one day I wasn't going to have that"

"So you walked away before anything bad happens?" he continues for you, "I get that, when things get to much the first thing you can think of is to run. It's natural to have a fight or flight response"

"Don't get to academic with me" you mumble, making the guy across from you chuckle before turning serious again

"No really, boyfriend or not you can still talk to me. If it gets too much, you don't have to run all the time. I'll stay right here, I won't go anywhere so when you need someone you can come to me. Run to me, instead than run away from me"

Mark has always had a way with words, this time instead of running away again you listen to him. Sharing a smile.

"I'll walk you home"

"What time is your last class?" Mark asks you over the phone, after that talk you had the two of you have been hanging out more. Taking his promise of being your friend seriously. Now, there isn't a day when you don't talk to each other.

"My last class is over, I'm here at the library. Why?"

"Do you have an umbrella?"

"Why would I need-" just then a loud thunder resonates outside, feeling the rumble of it from inside the library. You then remember the umbrella you left in your room this morning thinking you weren't going to need it.

"I'm outside" he says then hangs up. Quickly you fix your things and made your way outside the library and sure enough Mark's there waiting for you.

It's only a matter of time before the butterflies in your stomach takes over, and this warm feeling in your chest burst out but for now you choose to ignore it. Choosing not to risk this second chance with him.

"What are you doing here?" you ask him even though you've been waiting to see him the whole day.

"What do you think, I'm walking you home" he tells you like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"You have one umbrella, we're not gonna fit there"

"We'll make due, now come on. I'll make us rament later" he says as he pulls your bag from your grasp and sling it on his shoulder. He then takes his hand that wasn't holding the umbrella to hold yours, tugging you right beside him as the two of you make your way outside.

The two of you underestimated the rain and the size of his umbrella because by the time you arrive at your apartment, only the top of your heads weren't wet by the rain.

Quickly opening the door to get inside, you kick your shoes off and turn the lights on

"I think I have some clothes for you, wait here I'll get you towels" you tell him

But before you could walk away from him, you feel his grasp on your wrist holding you back.

"Do you need something?" you ask him

"I- I just feel like if I don't take this chance right now then I would end up regretting it again, just like when I let you go the first time"

"Mark"

"No, you were right, I won't blame you for our past. I can't be angry at you for choosing yourself. We both needed that to grow and learn and discover ourselves. This right now feels like our second chance, I'm not about to risk it and hope for another one to come by. For once, I'm going to take this chance with you. That is if you'll have me"

Maybe he doesn't know just how much he drives you crazy, just how much you'd risk to have another chance with him. It dawned on you just now how it didn't matter what's at stake if you try again with him because what matters the most is him.

Then suddenly you leap right in his arms, not expecting this Mark stumbles a few steps back. But he catches you, holding you close to him like he was afraid you might float away from him.

"I'd take that as a yes"

You lean back enough to meet his eyes, "See, you still know me best. Why don't we get back together" you tease him.

"I asked first" he pouts at you.

Your adorable Mark pouts at you. How can you ever say no to him if he's this cute and adorable. He knows exactly how to use it against you.

"What if it gets too much, if I get too much?" you ask

"You're never too much to me, nothing I can't handle. I love you, all of you. I'll stay here and tell you everyday until you get tired of me"

You giggle at his words, burying your head on his shoulder. You feel him kiss the top of your head before putting you down on your feet.

It's always scary taking chances, but to you and Mark it's scarier to let it pass again. This time you know you don't need to bet anything because you're sure he's there to stay with you.

[stillcominback]

𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙻, 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙲𝚃'𝚂 𝙸𝙽: as a lot of you may know by know [ if you've caught any of my previous posts about it ], i'm moving with my parents back to california from texas -- where i've been for about 30 years -- because overall? it'll be good for me. i'm sick of texas for the most part, i literally can't afford to live on my own [ and honestly? i like being near my parents and would just have more security and better quality of life in CA ], and i just think sometimes a change is good!

i've been waiting to see if my job will let me keep my job [ and continue to pay me dirt, even! ] ... all i was asking is that i can live in california and work remote. well, the owner has decided he will not allow me to do that. is there a good reason? in my opinion: no. he's framing it [ in his conservative white man rich business owner brain ] that I'M the one making the choice to move because i could apparently just as easily stay in texas and get my own place etc etc etc. so it's on me! unfortunately, it's just not that simple, but i guess from a guy who runs a family business and has multiple homes, it's just hard to really grasp that concept.

i'm literally so furious and so heartbroken at the same time. i know it's not the best company, and yeah i guess, we can say this is for the best in the end? but that doesn't make it hurt less. i've been there for almost 11 fucking years. my ENTIRE career out of college. through ups and downs, i was always working my ass off and being a great employee ... shining reviews and reputation with literally everyone. it just hurts that that ultimately means nothing when i'm finally asking for something in return. i take the poverty wages, take the working in the office when i hate it for the most part, i've taken having to hear misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, every-phobic thing over the years ... then i ask for ONE thing in 11 years [ that's literally not even a big ask ] and it's a ✨no✨.

i feel so lost. like i don't even know how to be without this job, and as much as people tell me YOU'RE SO TALENTED! YOU'RE SO GREAT! YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING SOOOO MUCH BETTER! i wanna believe it, but my brain just ... doesn't. maybe it's imposter syndrome or just how fucking down on myself i feel right now. i still appreciate it because i literally don't know what i would do without my friends and family's support right now like ... even if i can't see it for myself, it means the literal world to me.

plus sides [ i guess ]: i should be able to keep my laptop [ but i'll lose adobe cc so ... i may need some recs or help on how to at least get photoshop cause idk how i'll carry on without it lmao ]; my manager who is a literal saint and one of the best people i know [ she actually pissed the owner off going to the mat for me lmao "he doesn't like to be questioned" ... insert the biggest eye-roll of my life ] ... but she said she would help me with literally everything from linkedin to my resume to a portfolio, and i know that'll be like everything to me while i just .... try to navigate all of this ON TOP OF trying to move.

ALSO: i think i can work until i leave, if that's what i want to do ... i'm still trying to figure all of this out because honestly? even though it's not much? i need the money. but then i'm also like i don't wanna do the owner any favors by having me work while they maybe start putting out feelers to replace me, yknow? BUT THEN AGAIN, i'm hurting my boss more than him [ and that's the twisted, frustrated thing about all of this ... it hurts us way more than it does anything to him but he still gets to make the choice for us ]. SO! i dunno! i may just use all my PTO and see how far that gets me lmao but i feel like at the end of the day, i have to look out for myself and maybe just trying to pull in as many paychecks as i can [ since we also don't have a hard 'we're moving!' date at the moment ] is the best idea ... even if the idea of going into the office and acting normal like literally makes me so ... 😤 but i dunno! my brain is a mess! afjhksdfda

SO YEAH. i just wanted to update you guys because i do consider you friends. whether we talk a little or a lot, i appreciate all of you so much and just wanted to keep folks in the loop with where my life and my head's at right now. not the best but ... just trying to keep it moving. honestly nooooo clue when writing is gonna happen here again??? i do miss / enjoy the distraction of plotting and talking about all this stuff so don't be shy, i just don't know when i'll have the time or capacity to just write here [ maybe once we move and stuff settles a little bit? ] -- but yeah, in the meantime, please come chat with me, let's plot dynamics and all that shit because it still makes me so happy and lets me take my mind on a little vacation lmao love you all, truly! ❤️

[themarydragon]

Fic Scheduling

Okay so "scheduling" is the wrong word but I'm putting this up as my pinned post and I'll replace it as things progress and hopefully I'll come up with a better descriptor.

I have three (finished) fics in three fandoms I have never posted in before that I am talking myself into posting, if only to get back into the habit of posting fic. I have other fics in even more fandoms that I'm probably never going to post or even talk about again because (1) I'm not super happy with the way they came out, (2) I never really captured the voices I wanted, and (3) I repurposed some aspects for other things. I am formatting a Mass Effect short (for me) multi-chap (like 25k words) to start posting now as a means of kicking myself back into action.

In addition to those three, I have two FINISHED fics for a massive (three-and-a-half part, currently 162k words) MELE (Mass Effect parts 1 thru 3) that I have argued with Eisen (are you still on tumblr?) about for an actual decade now. He was right, I did need to write a longfic from Chakwas' POV and it has been super satisfying. That said, I need to actually finish ME3 so I can finish writing the third installment and I like to have things DONE before I post them (because otherwise how do you accurately foreshadow?).

MEANWHILE I have my new LoZ totk extension of the Trouble the Water universe (starring Calm Waters Run Deep) all outlined, I'm just trying to get my life to a point I can start writing.

What has been keeping me from writing: 1. We flooded this July. My house was an island. We will never know where our mailbox ended up. While we were in pretty good shape (on the side of a mountain) we still had wash-outs to repair. We got my driveway MOSTLY patched today. 2. I sort of have a Stardew lifestyle now; I've got a lot of outdoor work to do in the warm months, like stacking 2 cords of wood and prepping the fireplace for winter and growing food to eat etc. 3. I finally finished my old job (it took months for them to hire a replacement, and then I stayed on even longer while my old boss went on parental leave) and got a new one, and onboarding in the US is a friggin nightmare. My new job is a perfect fit for me, though, and I'm pretty thrilled I found it. 4. No A/C in my office. My doggo has epilepsy and needs to be monitored, so we take turns. The after-dinner hours are usually mine, and he hasn't been able to come sit in my office in the evenings because it's hot as balls up here. The heat finally broke, and it's 75 in my office right now, and Best Boi is living up to his name on the other side of my desk. I have, in the past, written on my laptop at any number of locations, but we moved my mother in with us and I have no privacy if I'm not in my office. It is what it is.

[cthrnschumacher]

I'm Yours - Ch. 3 Obessed With You

Toto POV

Travelling anywhere has always come as a blessing and curse. Don't get me wrong, I like travelling as much as the next person, but little inconveniences like sleep schedules and working in different time zones sometimes got the better of me. I have to be in the city for a few days and haven't shaken off the jet lag, which I usually can grapple with. I'm still waking up to the British time zone while I'm supposed to be in Eastern Standard Time, but what can I do. It's only a few days, and then I'll be back at Brackley. For now, I have decided the best thing I can do with my extra time is to get some work done. I glance over at the clock, and it's 2:30am. Certain work items require a keen eye for detail, occupying my time until roughly 5:30 or 6 am local time to head to the gym.

I haul myself up from the bed and head towards the hotel desk where my laptop and phone are situated. I allow my computer to boot up and decide to take these few minutes to head to the washroom, splash some water on my face and make some coffee to ease out of the groggy haze of sleep. Once I have everything I need to sit for a few hours in front of the laptop, I sit in the chair and reflexively enter my sign-in credentials for the computer. Since my mind is fresh, I decided that contracts and agreements coupled with a few emails are what I will take these few hours to work on. It is relatively 6:30am in England, so by the time I am done looking at these things, most of the team will be in the office, and some of my team members will have a response to their pressing issues. I open my email, see what needs responding, and get those out of the way since some problems are quick; I will leave the ones that require a bit more detail until after I've looked at some paperwork. I take this chance to open up the server with the company's shared documents and some of the files I'm working on. I opened up the first contract and started looking it over. The first glance of the document is to skim and get the gist of the contract. The second time around, I began making annotations where necessary and allowed for my input. Once I finish that, I repeat the same process with a few more documents and send separate emails to the individuals who require feedback on them. Feeling more awake and having the aptitude for thinking, I respond to emails requiring more attention and careful articulation. Once that is done, it's roughly 6 am local time. I give everything I am working on a final glance, and I save and close my laptop.

Taking off my glasses, rubbing my face, and running my hands through my hair, I get up from the desk to change into gym attire. I can feel that my body craves any physical activity. I am not trying to say I'm old, but I just want to move, if that makes sense. I head towards the bed and strip from my plaid pyjama bottoms and a black t-shirt to some compression shorts with baggy mesh shorts over the top and a grey athletic t-shirt. After that, I grab a water bottle and my Bose headphones since I really don't feel like being bothered at this hour, even though I am probably the only one awake. I head to the door, slip on my trainers, take the room key, and head out. I decided on taking the stairs since it would be some light cardio before I started my run on the treadmill. I attempt to think about which area of my body I want to kill today. I decided on hitting my upper body today. I go into the notes section of my phone, find my upper body routine, and reaffirm that those are the exercises I will do for roughly 2 hours. 

Exiting the stairs, I am now on the floor with the exercise and weight room of the hotel. Swiping my key card, I enter and see that I am alone; it makes me slightly happy that no one is in there. I have it myself and won't be bothered. I put a news channel on my phone to listen to while running for 30 minutes. It's a solid warm-up and pace that will help get my muscles loose. Once I feel flexible and have stretched, I move towards the free weights to start my first exercise. I decided it would be chest, back, biceps and triceps, then moving to shoulders and traps, ending the workout with sit-ups, crunches, and chair raises. It was a well-rounded workout; I won't obviously overkill my upper body, but it gives me a nice tapered look. With that, the reps and sets of each exercise fill up the 2 hours; I feel slightly tired but energized for the day; sometimes, working up a sweat can be the best remedy for lack of sleep. Before I head out of the gym, I take the chance to look around and see if anyone is in there, and see that there is no one, I decided to take a chance and take off my now dark greyish shirt since the pump is relatively fresh I can see the muscles at their fullest. It's a slight urge to flex in different poses, but I assess my physique. I know I am over 50, but I was in great shape. I wasn't overly lean, but I also don't push the number of weights I lift to be bulky with muscles; I enjoy any physical activity that helps me keep in shape. It helps give some balance to the hectic lifestyle I have. Now that I had enough admiration for myself in the gym mirror, I put my shirt back on and decided to take the elevator up.

Once back in my room, I take hold of the hotel phone and order breakfast to the room, consisting of scrambled eggs, toast, an espresso with lactose-free milk and some fruit. Detailing the order, I give them the room number, thank them for the order and hang up the line. I start walking towards the bathroom to strip off the sweaty clothing, hop into the shower, and wash off the grime of my workout. Once I'm done lathering my body and washing my hair, I turn off the water, step out and wrap the towel around my waist. Stepping out of the washroom, I turn on the hotel TV to a local news channel and keep it on as background noise as I get dressed. I walk towards some of the drawers I have my clothes in and take hold of a pair of grey boxer briefs, tossing it on the bed. I open the drawer below and glance over the shirt and pants selection, deciding on a black pair of fitting chinos and a white button-up shirt, tossing both on the bed. Feeling pleased with my outfit, I unwrap the towel and pat my body until it's no longer damp, starting from my lower body, working my way up, and then tossing the towel on a nearby chair. I dress myself, pulling on the boxers and then grabbing the pants and doing the same. Once the pants are over my waist, I don't slip on the shirt just yet, but I make my way back to the washroom to apply some deodorant and a few sprits of my cologne; it was of cedar with undertones of citrus, truly a scent I favoured. It wasn't an overbearing scent, and it reacts well with my skin, making it long-lasting, and I won't need to apply any more throughout the day. I return to my dress shirt, slipping the sleeves on and buttoning up the shirt while watching the news. Completing that, I tucked the shirt into my pants, adjusted everything to sit smoothly, zipped up the fly, and closed the pants' button.

With impeccable timing, there is a knock on the door; I walk towards the door and open it to allow the young man to set my breakfast on the table. Thanking the young man and closing the door behind him, I feel the hunger for food finally coming over me; I sit and listen to the news, not really caring about what's happening. It's nice, so the room's not dead silent. After finishing breakfast and leaving the cart outside for the service to take it back downstairs, take the chance to look at the time, and it's almost 10am.

I return to the desk and open up my laptop; I take this time to look at the day ahead of me, which consists of a meeting and the lecture I will be speaking at. With that, I start preparing for the meeting in an hour; I am not presenting anything, but it's more about discussing the car's development and what improvements can be made for the next race. I let the engineers, drivers and other vital members provide their input; I tend to hold off on these discussions since I know little about them and let the directors continue leading the conversation. Once that is done, I open the document containing all the points I will lecture on. It was on diversity within Brackley and Formula 1 as a whole; I was genuinely pleased to be asked to speak on this since it is something that Mercedes has been working towards and made it a mission to break barriers in the industry. I take this chance to review the literature which the professor instructed his students to read before attending the lecture; I know I am technically not their teacher, but if they have questions on how my assessment and practices in Brackley pertain to their preliminary reading, I want to be able to answer them technically as well. You can never be too prepared when talking to young minds, especially when they are the ones who will be leading the future. People in any industry can only be around for so long, which is why innovation is critical. I'm happy to be a part of that discussion. I am finalizing the content and ensuring I understand the material correctly. I see that it's 3:30pm. I hadn't noticed the time fly this quickly, so I saved the document with my content and transferred the file to my tablet, which I use during a lecture.

I get up from my desk and start placing my devices in my shoulder bag; I take the chance to put the charging cables for the devices in the bag along with a bottle of water and a pen with a notepad just in case I need something to write on as well to in case one of the students says something clever. It could be something that I can actually work with. I also put my glasses in there since it's relatively sunny. I put the key card in there, along with my wallet and car keys, and I feel set to exit the room. I take this chance to slip on my black loafers and head to the washroom to give myself a once-over in the mirror. I see that my hair is sticking up a tad from the countless times I run my hands through it, so I had the time to turn on the tap, get my hands a little wet, and run it through my hair to taper it down a bit and look presentable for the students and the professor. Pleased with how I look now, I put on my black blazer and sunglasses, grab my bag, and I'm out the door.

I took the elevator to the parking garage and headed to the grey Mercedes Amg E 53. It wasn't too flashy for my taste, but it was nice to drive, especially in the city. Unlocking the car and opening the driver's door, I slip in and place my bag in the passenger seat. Closing the door and turning on the car, I turn on the radio, seeking through the stations to find one that plays classical music; having done that, I clasp my seatbelt, place the car in drive and head out of the parking spot. I made it above ground and onto the city streets. The University campus was only 5 minutes away from the hotel, so I took the time to make a dinner reservation at an Italian restaurant I visited every time in the city, confirming it for 9pm. It gives me enough time to answer any lingering questions and talk to students who stay back and the professor. Done with that, the rest of the ride was filled with classical music; as I made the final turn towards the parking garage on campus, which is close to the lecture hall, I could walk and head to the coffee shop close by to grab a coffee and something small to eat before 6pm. I park in the spot furthest away, just looking to kill time. I shut off the engine, grab my shoulder bag and exit from the car, closing the door behind me and swiping the slight indent on the handle to lock the car; seeing that it is, I make my way towards the exit and start heading towards the coffee shop.

It's roughly 4pm, and the warm sun feels nice on my skin, more pleasant than the cold hotel room, but something, in particular, distracts me as I walk. I see a girl walking towards my general direction; I know she doesn't notice me staring at her, but something makes me want to know her. She has sunglasses and over-ear headphones on but looks up occasionally to ensure she is not bumping into anyone; she is focused on something on her phone that requires her little hands to type away. Fuck have I mentioned how tiny she is compared to me? Sure, I'm quite a bit away from here, but I can tell from here she is pretty petite. For someone who is quite tall, her head would probably hit my upper abs. I have to find a way to have an interaction with her. I move off to the side so she doesn't see me and take a minute to see where she is going. Luckily, she walked towards the building where I was giving the lecture. She is heading towards the main entrance.

I have access to the back entrance, and I walk quickly to see if she is going toward the lecture hall where I will be speaking. I don't know what odds were in my favour. Still, she is walking towards the lecture I will be in later today, so I walk quickly and distract myself with my phone; I will bump into her and see what happens. I need to hear her voice and know who she is. Alright, it's now or never, finally bumping into her; what I didn't expect was for her to fall backwards. I look up from my phone, shock all over my face, and I see her hit the ground and land on her bum; she left out an ouch. I am mortified that I hurt her on our first interaction, but what surprises me is that she is instantly apologizing. I couldn't help but admire her and kneel in front of her to see if she was okay; she kept apologizing and started to ramble on about how she should have been paying more attention. She turned bright red when she removed her headphones and sunglasses and looked up at me. She recognized me; she knew who I was, so she was here to see my lecture; what are the odds this pretty little girl was here to see me. I finally decide to speak and help her up off the floor.

I can't explain it, but she is adorable, and I feel bad that she keeps apologizing. I decided to introduce myself and take this chance to apologize since it's my fault; I want to know her name to properly apologize. And she gives it to me, Y/N ..... Y/N ...... Y/N, it's such a beautiful name; I repeat in my head that life depends on it because I don't want to forget it. I try to make humour from the situation, "Nonsense; you're a student and probably taking every chance you get to study and cramming for some sort of assessment." She smiled, fuck that was breathtaking; she made me act like a teenage boy finally talking to his crush.

I hear her stomach growl and insist on taking her to the coffee shop I was heading to make up for dropping her muffin. I see her blush deeply, mentioning that I'm confident she will be at the class I am lecturing, so she finally caves in. I'm excited but remain collected; I get to spend more time talking to her. The walk to the coffee shop was silent; I was trying to think of how to get to know her without being a creepy old man; who knew if she even liked me? She just recognized me. I see we are getting closer to the shop entrance, and I rush to open the door for her. This allows me to be close to her and see the height difference. My mind is spinning; it turns me on that her frame is small and that she doesn't even reach my chest, but even the way that she has to look up at me, fuck I can't help it; I really need to behave. She thanked me and walked right in; I noted her impeccable mannerisms. We stand in line, and she looks up at the menu curiously. I know what I want, but I want to give her a few minutes. I'm unsure if she has been here and, if so, not to rush her. Finally letting a bit of time pass, I asked what she would like, and her order surprised me for such a tiny person needing a double shot in her latte. I'm guessing she has been up all day and needs the extra boost to stay alert. I suggest she find a place for us to sit while I order; she nods and walks off. I glance up, trying not to pry, and she picks a seat in the back where it isn't too crowded; she is clever, making it secluded so she can focus on me as I am on her.

I get to the front and give the young lady my and Y/N's order, adding two scones and requesting they be warmed up. I feel bad for dropping her muffin, don't get me wrong, but it created a perfect opportunity to repay and get to know her. During that time, I also figured out what I would ask to get to know her about her education, future career, and accomplishments. I know it sounds more like an interview, but those questions also give insight into her type of person. I approach her, and she is on her phone again, glued to that thing. Clearly, it's not her own doing; I can see it's an email she is typing, so it must be University or work-related. I sit across from her, not wanting to bother her just yet, and let her finish. Once she was done and took a minute to turn off her phone, her blush washes over her face, and she noticed I'd been silently waiting. And yet again, she profusely apologizes for her actions.

When she is surprised, her cheeks turn a slight shade of red; it's adorable on her olive-toned skin. I started my few questions, and she spoke passionately about her accomplishments and career goals. She is clearly highly motivated with will and determination; I can see that in her eyes when she talks about her experience. I am even shocked; she is young with this much drive. I would be happy with her at Brackely; she would fit right in, no problem. Trying to get more comfortable and make myself less intimidating, I asked how she heard about my lecture. I know it was an evening lecture, but housing around campus always has some sort of party or friends going to clubs; why is she coming to something this late. Her slight blush on complimenting her about her looks makes my heart stop. I will never get sick of her blushing. Her answer, though, lines up with the average life of a graduate student, which consists of research, work and study. She said she was interested in the topic as she enjoys the sport and working in the industry. I can tell she is pretty intelligent by her chance of asking me a question about the purpose and intention of the content I'm guest lecturing in. She even has a sense of humour by throwing in the team's downfall, so she is updated on the current drama of the sport.

A mini saving grace which gives me time to think about how to respond is that our order is set on the table. The scones look delicious and are set in the middle. At the same time, the server places each glass of our beverages in front of us. Y/N takes a sip of her coffee, and I can see that the coffee almost relaxes her, taking the edge off the situation. I do the same, so I don't make things too awkward. I now almost give a similar answer to hers but add that this shift is required to welcome the innovation needed for the sport. At this point, I insist she takes a scone and, being witty, remark that I want her full attention on me lecturing instead of thinking of her hungry and on a queue that blush is on her face again. Fuck this is just going to kill me seeing her always like that. Wanting to shift things more personally, I asked what she does outside of University. She seemed well-rounded, watching TV, cooking, staying active, and even mentioning martial arts; who knew she was full of surprises? It makes me keep falling harder for her. It intrigues me that she likes to fight, so I ask her more about it; since she likes boxing and has trained for so long, I attempt to show that I know a thing or two and ask what her signature move is.

I can see that she is stunned by my question but proceeds to answer it. It horrifies me, and she explains it; it sounds like it can hurt, but it's a good tactic since she is small. Fooling your opponent is a tremendous psychological move, truly impressing me more. Still, it is a little unshakeable that this tiny person is aggressive, but I love that most about her. That just means she has a lot of passion and needs a physical way of escaping the frustration. I take this chance to grab a scone and eat some of it, nudging her at the same opportunity. I know that if I don't, she won't touch it, and I don't want her hungry in the lecture. She does pick at the scone and then picks some more until I see her break off a sizable piece to eat.

I'm glad just seeing her makes me a little happy. I don't know what it is, but I want to make her comfortable. I'm drawn to her and don't want to lose her. I want to ask her to dinner, just spend more time with them; finally building up the courage, I ask, "I know this is a little presumptuous to ask even though we just met, and I did enjoy talking to you, but would you like to have dinner with me tonight after the lecture?" She just looks me in the eyes; I can't read her; shit, I hope I didn't scare her. "Y/N?" She regains her attention and focuses back on me, and I see that wicked smile on her face again. She looks into my eyes, "Yes, I would love that!" A sigh of relief washes over me; if I could kiss her right now, I would, but it needs to be somewhere more private where I can cup her face with my big hands and kiss her passionately.

Finishing up with our drinks, we get ready to head back to the lecture hall, again in silence. I didn't mind the silence this time; it was pleasant, but I needed to see if she was more than interested in me. I wanted to know if I could make her flustered, so I did something unthinkable since this was public. I grab her upper arm to turn her around and face me in a secluded corner, and it gives me chills that my entire hand wraps around it. I pull her close to keeping my hands at her waist; I lean down so my lips hover over hers and tell her, "I really enjoyed talking to you over coffee. Come back here after the lecture is done, and we will head to dinner together." We stayed like this for a little longer. I could see that she wanted a kiss, and I wanted to give in to her. Still, I can't do that yet, so I suddenly move my lips to her ear and whisper, "Now go on. I'll see you in the lecture, and pay attention. I will be watching." And I walk off toward the lecture hall but past that to the professor's office. I smile because I know I have her flustered, and that beautiful, shocked face she makes puts me weak at the knees. She has me wrapped around her finger without realizing it, but I want her more every second I am around her. I meet up with the professor and make light chit-chat, heading into the hall. I see that she is situated in the back, for a good girl like her wouldn't peck her to be in the back; maybe she just wants to distance herself and not make it obvious, which I understand.

It wasn't long before the professor introduced me to start lecturing. In the queue, I went to the podium and began my lecture. I made eye contact with all the students, attempting to give them my full attention so I wouldn't keep looking at Y/N. Even when I got to look at her, she was so focused and wanted to absorb everything I was saying. Near the end of the content and assessment of the industry, I state that a question period can be on the lecture's content or about the industry. I also told the audience I could accept questions on the current racing season. I am standing back at the podium, pen in hand, ready to write in case something is inspiring; most of the questions were on the content and the linkages to the prior readings, and I answered them quickly. I see Y/N shoot up, but I don't call on her immediately; I let 2 more questions get answered before turning to her.

"Yes. Miss in the back, did you also have a question?" She had a daring look in her eyes; I knew this would be good. I allowed her silence and gave her the patience to speak since she was in front of other students. "Yes ..... first, thank you for the guest lecture. It was a pleasure to hear you speak. Now... My inquiry pertains to your equitability in your facilities and your initiative to power the young leaders of tomorrow. Would it be possible to arrange for a shadowing opportunity?" As I focused intently, I thought it was a shadowing opportunity; I had to hold back a grin; she has confidence, and I won't deny that. She is reaching for something unthinkable and hasn't been done, is bold to ask in front of her peers, and is willing to get rejected. I write it down since it is clever; it also buys me some time while I sip from my water. It is silent in the room and will only be broken by what I will say next, so why not surprise everyone. "Might I ask for your name to address you, Miss...." I want to do her work for it and ensure I don't know who she is, so she has to introduce herself. Plus, I like hearing her name and saying it. "My name is Y/N. It's Y/N Y/LN." I allow for a pause again before responding; she is now leaning forward in her seat, eager to hear what I have to say. "Miss Y/N, how about you give me your contact, and I will discuss this with your professor and contact my assistant and team to arrange a shadowing opportunity to make it a research fellowship for a full academic term; how do you say a studying aboard course at Brackley."

Her mouth fell slightly a gap, and I heard a few gasps. The astonishment fell suddenly on everyone. Her creativity and willingness to put herself on the line for an opportunity demonstrate innovation, and I will give it to her. I look around the room to answer more questions and see some other females look sour. I took an interest in her. Still, their attitude isn't like Y/N, so they only blame themselves for the success and sourness. Wrapping up everything, the professor joined me at the podium and started discussing this opportunity as a research fellowship. I see Y/N walk down from the seating area, finally meeting the both of us. The professor congratulated her since it was courageous, and he finally exited the room, bidding us both a good evening.

When the door finally shuts, all I want to do is just pick her up in a hug and spin her around. I'm excited for her, to spend more time with her, be around her, and fly her everywhere with me. She started rambling on, first thanking me, but unsure she was fit, I cut her off. "Do you mind if I get your contact then? I have to talk to my team and see how this could happen, as well as with your professor." I hand her the notepad and pen and brush my fingers against her, and she inhales sharply, but her response starts to bring out something darker in me. "Yes, of course, anything you need." I don't think she realized what she said, but she has a good girl's nature. She doing this unintentionally. I smirk because our interactions this entire day have been nothing but teasing. I forgot another piece of her needed contact information as she wrote it down. I hoped she would be open to the idea of calling and texting. "Can I also get your phone number? ... I would be for when I need to contact you directly, just in case we need to speak and that I can relay information to you," she agrees, knowing that is normal. Still, I don't want her to write it down, play even more into the teasing game, "Can you put it in my phone?" She nods, seeing that it's a yes; I pull out my phone, unlock it and hand it to her; her tiny hands tremble, entering the contact, and I step closer to her while she intently looking at the device. She finishes and looks up. Those doe eyes are a killer, and I love hearing her gulp, only inches away from her. Taking the device and being soft with her, "Thank you, I'll text you right now." Finishing that, I am gentle with her; she is in a haze, and I want to guide her to like me more. I tilt her chin so she is looking at me softly speaking. I say, "Why don't you head out first, and I'll meet you in the building so we can head to dinner, ya?" She nods again, but I want her to speak to affirm she is with me, "I need words, Y/N?" "Uhhhh yes ...... I'll see you outside." Her voice trembles again. I pull away and allow her to exit the room.

[doodling-doodle]

Deathly Illness

(The Slice Of Paradice AU)

Kyle got very sick. He never expected to end up the way he did…

Small warnings here: medical inaccuracies, non-permanent death (flatlining in the hospital)

Alex was helping clean up the shop after they closed up and they went home for the night. Kyle was sick, so he was in a bit of a hurry to get out of there and get some food for them before getting home.

---

"Hey, Alex?" Anne asked.

"What's up?"

"Have you found a ring yet?"

He chuckled, "No, but I'm still looking."

"Damn it. Keep looking and find it quickly."

"I'm trying, okay? Kyle's sick right now, so I'm more focused on that."

"Oh, damn, get home, man, I'll take care of this."

"You sure?"

"Yes! Go take care of him!"

"Okay, okay…" He put down the tattooing tool he was cleaning, went to the back to grab his bag, told his co-workers to have a good day, and left.

He texted Kyle that he was going to grab dinner for them, and drove off.

He picked up Burger Town, and got back home.

“Baby?” He called out.

He saw Kyle wobbling slightly as he walked out of their room. He looked tired.

“Kyle… Come on, back to bed.” He gently led Kyle back to bed. He had a sore throat, so he wasn’t talking much, but he could still communicate well.

“I’ll get the food. Just hold on.” He gently kissed Kyle’s head, and went back out to the living room to get their food.

He got his laptop out so they could watch kitten videos. That always cheered Kyle up.

Eventually, he laid Kyle back down, and he mindlessly played with his hair while going through his phone.

It had been about eight months since they left the military. Kyle could walk again, Alex had his job, Kyle started selling artwork. They were doing amazing. Kyle started therapy, too. Alex, clearly, was still looking for a ring, but he wasn't having the best luck. He just wanted to make Kyle happy.

After a while, he heard Kyle stirring, then coughing harshly.

He quickly pulled Kyle up to have him sit up.

He saw a bit of blood on Kyle's chin.

"Oh my God- Kyle?! Baby, look at me."

He looked dazed out, and Alex wiped the blood away, trying to hide it from Kyle so he wouldn't freak out.

But he coughed up more, wheezing a little.

"I'm getting you to the hospital, okay? We're going to the hospital."

He quickly packed a small bag, threw it in the car, then got Kyle, and sped off to the hospital.

Before he knew it, Kyle was hooked up to a few things, laying in a bed.

He was freaking out. Where was the blood coming from?!

He kept quiet, though. No need to make Kyle panic more.

"A-alex…?"

"Shh, baby. Don't talk. You'll make it worse."

He whimpered, but nodded.

Alex squeezed his hand, trying to keep him awake.

A nurse came in shortly after.

But Kyle's eyes rolled back, and his grip went lax.

"Baby?! Kyle, wake up!"

The nurse went up, and pressed on Kyle's wrist. And Alex heard a steady, constant sound.

"Fuck!" She pressed a button on the wall, and he heard a robotic voice over speakers in the hall, and in the room.

"CODE BLUE, E.R. CODE BLUE, E.R."

Over. And over. And over.

"What...?" He whispered to himself.

His ears started ringing, and he got further away from the bed so the other people that ran in had room to work.

Kyle was gone.

He was gone.

He never found the ring. He never had the chance to propose to him.

He started crying his eyes out, and he fell to his knees, pressing his palms to his eyes.

It took about two minutes before he heard something.

“We have a pulse! Get him oxygen and keep him calm.”

He froze, and stood with a nurse's help. He went back up to Kyle, holding his hand.

“Al…? Alex?”

“I’m here. I’m here, it’s okay.”

He whimpered, and the nurse gave him an oxygen mask.

“Sir, leave the room, we need to run tests.”

He nodded, giving Kyle a final kiss to the forehead before walking out with a nurse.

“Can you call anyone? Is there any family?” She asked.

“Yeah… Yeah, I can call a few.”

“Please do. I’ll let you know when you can see him.” She walked away, and he sat down.

Price and Graves were visiting, so they were staying at a hotel for the night. They were close by.

He called Price, hoping that he’d pick up, but it was the middle of the night.

He picked up in seconds.

“Alex, are you alright?” he asked, sounding sleepy.

“I… We’re a-at the hospital… Kyle, he…” He started sobbing, and he heard Price probably jolting up in bed.

“What?! Phil-Phil, wake up, Kyle’s in the hospital! Alex, What happened?!”

“I… Their running tests. He was coughing up blood, and… I don’t know…”

“We’re on the way, okay? Stay on the phone, we’ll be there soon.”

"O-okay…"

They were, at least, twenty minutes away. They got there in ten.

Price ran over to him, and hugged him tight.

“What happened?” Graves asked.

“He… I don’t know… I just… One minute he’s sick in bed, then he’s coughing up blood, then he flatlined…”

“He… He what?” Price asked.

“He was gone for two minutes. Maybe more, I zoned out.”

Both looked horrified, and sat down with him, waiting for the nurse to come back.

Two hours later, she came back, and Alex stood.

“He’s stable now. We’re still running tests, but you can see him.”

He nodded, and they all went to see him…

He looked weak, and small, and pale.

“Baby…” Alex whispered, cradling Kyle’s face. He was out cold.

“I’ll let you know when the tests come back.” She walked back out, and they all just sat down, witing for him to open his eyes.

For three hours.

He whimpered slightly, making Alex jump up and look down at him.

“Baby…” he whispered, cupping his cheek.

“Wha…”

“Don’t talk. It’ll make it worse. I’m here, okay? It’s alright.”

He nodded.

A nurse came back, looking down at a chart

“Please tell me there’s an answer.” Alex pleaded.

“It’s… It’s a bad chest and throat infection. Really bad. How long have symptoms been showing?”

His heart shattered, “I… A few weeks. Two, maybe.”

“He’s had it for at least a month.”

He was shocked. How didn’t they know…?

“We need to keep him for at least a day. Then, it’s antibiotics and hoping for the best.”

He froze up, and looked at Price and Graves. They both looked broken. And Kyle looked dazed out.

"Okay…"

"Do you have any questions?"

He shook his head.

She nodded, "I'll… leave you be." She walked out.

Alex looked down at Kyle, cupping his cheek, "We'll get through this, alright? It'll be alright. I promise." He leaned down, hugging Kyle tight, "I love you."

He heard a small sigh, and him trying to say something.

"I-i lo-love yo-ou t-too…"

He teared up, and kissed Kyle, gently on the lips before he looked over, seeing Price and Graves.

He whimpered, trying to reach his hand out.

"We're here, buddy. It's alright, we're here…" Graves whispered, holding his hand.

"P-pops… d-dad…"

"We're here, son…" Price whispered, "we can take care of telling the others if you need."

He nodded.

"I'll start telling the others in the morning." Graves said.

He nodded, and yawned.

"Go to sleep, baby. We'll be here."

He was out in seconds.

The next day…

They got to go home with a three-month script of antibiotics.

Alex got Kyle back in bed with tea and water, plus a few healthy-ish snacks.

"I need to talk to John and Phil for a bit. Are you alright?"

He nodded.

"I'll be back." He walked out to find Graves on the phone with Ghost and Soap.

"Yeah… no, we don't know if he'll lose his voice. Possible, I guess."

Fuck. He didn’t think about that..

"Okay. I'll talk to you later." He hung up, and sighed.

"I can call Matt and Gabe." Alex said, getting his phone.

"We can do it. You don't have to."

"I… I need to. I need to get it off my chest somehow."

They nodded. And he went to the basement to be alone for a bit while he called them.

He waited for two seconds before Gabe picked up.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Can you get Matt…?"

"Yeah, hang… Are you alright?"

"I… just get him, please?"

He heard a voice in the background, and then Matt came in.

"What's up, mate?"

"It… it's Kyle, he… he's sick. Throat infection. And chest. He… he's in bed. He can't talk. He can barely move. I…I can't…"

"Woah, what??" Matt asked.

"Yeah…"

"And you're the only one there to help?"

"Phil and John will be here for a while longer. But after that, it'll be me. Maybe I can call brother Matt and Jas."

"Call us when they leave." Gabe said, "I can probably stay with y'all for a while.”

He blinked in shock, but nodded, “Okay… Okay, that works.”

“Okay, keep us updated. The others know, right?”

“Phil told Soap and Ghost. John told Kate and Ava.”

“I’ll get Ale and Rudy in the loop.” Gabe said.

“Just keep us updated, okay?” Matt asked.

“I will… Thanks, guys.”

“No problem.”

“I… I need to go…”

“Hey.” Gabe said, “If you need to talk, we’re here.”

He nodded. “Thank you.” he hung up.

He sighed before going back upstairs.

“You won’t be alone in this, Alex.” Price said, “We’ll be able to stay for about a month. After that…”

“Gabe said he’d come. If he can’t, then I’ll call my brother… I need to call Anne. Tell her what happened. The guest room is set up, mini fridge is filled with snacks and drinks. Let me know if you need anything else.” He went out to the front porch, and told Anne the situation.

“Damn, holy shit- dude, stay with him, I'll give you all the time off you need. But… Damn. Keep me updated, okay?”

“I will… Thanks, Anne.”

“Oh, and, bad timing, but I found a nice jeweler. I can send you the link to the shop, I found some really nice rings.”

He smiled, “Thanks, Anne. For everything.”

“No problem. Just get him back in working order.”

He tried. But even after a month, it wasn’t getting any better. And even worse, the day that Price and Graves left, and Gabe and Matt were on their way…

Alex woke up in the middle of the night. To Kyle’s faint, weak, raspy voice.

“Al-Alex…?”

He woke up, and sat up quickly. It was the first time since being in the hospital that he spoke.

“Baby?” He gently held his shoulders, and saw something on his chin.

“I-I’m sorry… I-I thr-threw up blo-blood…”

He panicked, but just nodded.

“I’ll get the floor cleaned up, get you changed, and call an ambulance, okay?”

He quickly cleaned up the floor, changed Kyle’s shirt, and called 911. He quickly packed a bag, and by the time that the ambulance got there, he was ready, and ran out with Kyle in his arms.

It felt like time stopped. But he got into the ambulance, and tried to answer the medics questions.

"How'd this start?" "Has he done this before?" "What does he have?" And so many more.

He just wanted to get to the hospital.

And they finally did. Kyle got a CT scan…

While the antibiotics were helping to slow it down, the infections got worse. Not much worse, but worse…

"I'm so sorry, Baby…" He said when he got in the room.

"I'm… I-I’m goi-ing to di-die…" Kyle whispered, voice raspy.

Alex sat down, and sighed.

"Kyle…" He teared up. "I… I know I said it would all be okay, but… I'm genuinely terrified that it won't be." He reached into his jacket pocket

He had taken a look at the shop that Anne sent him a link to. All of them were beautiful, but one stuck out to him. A gorgeous platinum ring with diamonds embedded in it. He ran out to get groceries earlier that day, and stopped at the store to see if they had it. They did. He bought it. But forgot to take it out of his coat. He was glad he did that now.

He pulled the small velvet box out of his pocket.

"I'm scared. I'm scared that… you'll die without knowing how much I truly love you… so… Kyle Garrick…" He opened it, and watched Kyle's eyes go a little wider in shock.

"Will you marry me?"

He choked out a sob, "Alex-" he smiled for the first time in months, and nodded.

"Of course I will…"

He smiled, and gently put the ring on Kyle's finger, holding his hand.

"We can start planning now, right?" Kyle whispered.

"We can.”

“I’ll have to start on Pinterest when we get home…”

He smiled, “You get to choose all of it. Decor, venue, date. Everything.”

“I’ll-” He started coughing, and Alex jumped up, holding onto him before he stopped.

"I… I'm okay…”

“Don’t talk anymore. Your making it worse.”

He nodded.

“You need sleep. I’ll be here. I promise."

He nodded, and quickly went out.

He sighed, and texted Gabe.

"He's asleep now. The infection isn't much worse, but the antibiotics aren't really helping. They'll be giving him heavier ones."

"Oh. Oh, Alex, I'm so sorry. Should we just come to the hospital?"

"Yeah, if you can. Don't know where you are, but if your tired, go to a motel. I'll pick you up."

"We'll come to the hospital. Be there sometime in the morning."

"Okay. Thanks, Gabe. I need sleep."

"We'll see you soon."

Alex sighed, leaning back on his chair, and went to sleep.

The next day…

He woke up to a knock on the door, and a nurse walked in.

“Mister Keller? Mister Garrick?”

“I’m awake. What’s up?”

“You have two vistiters, are you okay with them coming in?”

“Gabriel Colt and Matthew Miller?”

“Yes.”

“Let them in.”

She nodded, and they walked in.

“Oh my god.” Gabe whispered, going up to Kyle.

“Fuck, man… He’s pale.” Matt said.

"I know… I know, and I don't know what to do…"

"Has it been like that the whole time?" Gabe asked

He shook his head, "it's only gotten bad in the… last week or so."

He sighed, and they sat down, waiting for him to wake up.

He eventually started to open his eyes, and Alex leaned down to cradle his face.

"Matt and Gabe are here, baby."

He weakly looked over, softly smiling when he saw them.

“H-hey, gu-guys…”

“Hey. We’re here, bud.” Gabe said, smiling.

He softly coughed a little, making Alex panic slightly, and jump up.

He breathed heavily for a few minus, trying to sign to Alex that he was okay, smiling.

“You sure your okay? Maybe we should stay here a bit longer.”

He shook his head, not wanting that at all.

“Hun-”

He shook his head again.

He nodded, “Okay. But we need to wait for the doctor.”

He let out a distressed whine, and Alex hugged him.

“Shh… I got you. It’s okay.”

He just buried his face in Alex’s chest while Gabe gently rubbed his shoulder.

“I know, hun. You wanna go home. But we need to make sure we have what we need before letting you come home.”

He nodded.

And Matt noticed something.

“Kyle, is that a fucking ring?!”

He chuckled, and nodded.

“No way!

"No way! Alex, you finally proposed?!" Gabe asked, "and you didn't tell us?!"

"I literally just did it yesterday."

"Here?" Matt asked

"Yeah."

Gabe blinked a few times, but realized why he did it, and nodded.

"No one else knows yet?" Matt asked.

"No… I think we need to wait a day or two, get home, see what happens."

Kyle nodded, tugging on Alex's arm to get him to look at him.

"I want a winter wedding." He whispered.

He smiled, "of course, baby. It's all your decisions."

“Isn’t your anniversary Christmas?” Gabe asked, “If you want a winter wedding, you need to go all. Out.”

They both smiled, and Kyle just nodded.

“Wanna go home.”

“I know, baby, I know. We still have to wait.”

He nodded, and tugged on Alex’s shirt to get him to lay down with him.

He smiled, and laid on the bed with him to hold him.

“We’ll get out of here soon, baby.”

A nurse came in a while later, and said that they couldn’t do much except give him heavier meds.

Alex’s heart broke. He wanted Kyle to be happy. And this was a delay to… life in general.

They got back home, and Alex got Kyle in bed.

"I'll talk to Gabe and Matt for a few minutes, update Phil and John, and I'll be back. Need anything?"

He shook his head.

"Okay." He kissed his forehead, and walked out.

"So… he's bedridden?" Gabe asked

"Basically. He's too weak to move."

They both winced.

"Look, man." Gabe sighed, "You focus on him and taking care of him. We can take care of, probably, the rest."

"That's not fair to you two."

"It's not fair to him to not get around the clock care and it's not fair to you to be juggling all the house work and him."

He sighed, and nodded, “I’ll… I’m not sticking everything on you two. But I appreciate that a lot.”

“Not a problem.” Matt said.

He went outside to call Price, and he started to sob.

“Please take care of him…”

“I will… Gabe and Matt are here. They’ll help.”

“Good… I need to go. I’ll tell Phil and the others… talk to ya later.”

“Bye, John.”

He sighed, and went back inside to Gabe and Matt talking.

“I can do grocery runs, sweep, dishes, basic cleaning…” Matt said.

“You do groceries, I sweep, trade on dishes daily, trade on cooking-depending on if Kyle needs anything specific and can’t eat a few things- and trade on basic cleaning weekly.” Gabe replied.

“Guys.” Alex said, “How about we all trade on everything? And I’ll take care of Kyle’s meals.”

“I mean… pretty much no matter what, someone will be home at all times to help him, so… yeah. We could trade on a few things.” Gabe said.

“I’ll figure out a schedule. We can work out a system.” Alex replied, nodding, “But, I do need to make lunch.”

He made something quick, and went to get Kyle fed.

“Hey, baby…”

He looked up from his phone, smiling weakly.

“What’s up, hun?”

He showed him what he was doing.

He smiled at the Pinterest board Kyle had made of decor ideas for the wedding.

“It’s beautiful, hun.”

“Some changes needed, but, general ideas…”

“You’ve found some great things, hun. I love them. But, you need to eat.”

He nodded, and took the plate.

He ate… enough. Not a lot, but still something. Alex tried to get a little more in him, but that was all he could manage.

“Get some sleep, baby.” He said, softly, after giving him his meds.

“Ca- can I have cu-cuddles?”

He smiled, and laid down with him.

"Of course you can."

One week later…

Alex had gotten a little stressed. But he didn't know why.

Gabe and Matt were taking care of most things for him. Minus cooking, but Gabe mostly went shopping while Matt mostly did dishes. He barely had to do anything. Just cooking, and taking care of Kyle, who had been using his slowly returning energy to scroll through Pinerest to get more ideas for a rustic winter wedding.

He told the others about their engagement, and got a lot of excitement in return. Price and Graves cried when they heard it.

He had almost nothing going on. But he was stressed. Anne was still paying him, Kyle’s art was still selling.

Why the fuck was he stressed?

It was probably because his friends were helping him do his house work. But his fiancé was near-deathly sick. He tried so hard to just cope with that, but it was hard. So hard.

One night, he sat in the basement. Alone. Matt and Gabe’s room were on the same level as theirs.

He wanted time alone. He wanted time to properly process what was going on while he looked at the crackling fireplace while just… thinking.

He had a small notebook that he had a few tattoo designs in. the one that Kyle put the so simple yet so pretty idea he had for their matching tattoos. He took that one out, though. To frame it. And he just… started writing.

I’ve been so happy seeing him get his energy back, though not a lot, and looking for ideas.

“September 1st, Kyle accepted my proposal.

John and Phil cried, though Gabe and Matt found out first.

I hope to have the wedding next year.

Over the last week, I've gotten so stupidly stressed. Because Gabe and Matt are helping with the house work I should be doing.

Which is a stupid reason. They've made it so I just have to take care of things regarding Kyle, and I'm stressed about it.

It's probably also because my fiancé is almost dying.

September 7th, I'm sitting on the couch in the basement, writing this while looking at the fireplace.

I just want everything to go back to normal. I want Kyle's voice back.

But I know that can't happen."

He looked at it for a few minutes.

Before throwing the book into the ground, then into the fireplace.

Stupid old designs that he made when he was bored. A random doodle of his and Kyle's tattoo. And the thoughts that he'd been wanting out.

He was glad they were gone.

But he looked above the mantle when he sat back down, to see one of his favorite pictures of him and Kyle.

And another.

And another.

Then the actual drawing of Kyle's tattoo design on the counter of the small kitchen.

He just started sobbing. Kyle got sick nearly two months ago, and he wasn’t getting much better. He was stuck in bed all day, and while there seemed to be a sparkle in his eyes returning while he weakly showed him things he liked on Pinterest, he knew that it was barely getting better. Kyle was in pain…

And so was he.

He just started crying. He needed to get it out. He was a horrible fiancé. He wasn't comforting Kyle when he was sick. He was crying in his basement because his heart was throbbing.

He needed to just get it out, and go back upstairs with Kyle.

He eventually did.

He went back upstairs, seeing Kyle peacefully asleep in bed.

He held onto him tight. Promising to himself to never let go.

Because he needed him. So bad.

"I love you, Kyle. I love you so much." He whispered.

"I will always love you."

One month later…

Finally.

Finally, after months.

Kyle started to get better. Actually better.

He got his energy back. Not all of it, but it was coming back. He could move around on his own…

And his voice slowly started to come back. It was barely a whisper, but he cried the morning he heard a whisper that wasn't so raspy. It didn't sound painful to force out, and it sounded like… Kyle.

"Morning, love."

Gabe and Matt were still there. Still helping. But they had to leave soon.

He had it under control now. If he needed help, he was able to call his brother. Or Anne.

One morning, it felt like it should be normal.

But he reached over, and Kyle wasn't there.

He frantically sat up, looking around the room.

"Kyle?!" He got up, rushing out of their room

To see him standing in the kitchen, though a little wobbly, making his tea, looking over.

He sighed in relief, "You scared me to death." He went up to him, getting him on the couch.

"I'm doing better." Kyle whispered.

"But you're not at 100% yet. And you're not doing anything until you're there."

"I'm still better."

"Which is amazing." He gently kissed his forehead, and smiled, "I'll make pancakes. Gabe and Matt are gonna wake up soon."

Kyle smiled, and Alex went to the kitchen to make pancakes for them.

Matt And Gabe walked out soon after, and both were shocked to see him on the couch.

“Hey guys.” He whispered, smiling and setting down his phone.

Both hugged him tight, and Gabe smiled.

“Mate, it’s good to see you out here, but you look like hell.” Matt said, and he chuckled.

“I know. I think I have an excuse, though.”

“You do. Just glad your feeling better, bud.” Gabe said, patting his shoulder, “Al, you need help?”

“I got it. Thanks, though.” He brought out a few plates of food, and set one in front of Kyle on the coffee table. It was already cut up so Kyle didn’t have to use so much energy on it. He smiled at that thought. Alex making it to where it was easier on him in every way.

"So… how are you feeling?" Matt asked.

"Better. My throat is just killing me. I'm over the worst of it." He whispered, smiling, "can… ca-can I show you some ideas I had for the decor?"

They perked up, and Gabe said, "of course!"

He smiled, grabbing his phone to show them the Pinterest board.

“Oh wow.” Gabe said, showing Matt a few things. They loved it all. And Alex loved it even more.

“This is amazing, Kyle.” Matt said, handing his phone back.

He smiled, and leaned on Alex, who sat down next to him, giving him his meds.

“Thanks, love."

Alex smiled, kissing his temple.

"Just keep getting better, doll. That's all I need from you."

Two weeks later…

Gabe and Matt had left last week, but Gabe said they'd come back as soon as they could. He even said that they might move out to Virginia so they could be closer and help them. He was shocked, but he said that it wasn’t needed.

“But we can help you easier. I’ll find a ranch near here, and move up here. You need help. And we can help you.”

He loved that thought.

But, they had to go back to the hospital for scans.

It was normal at first. They checked in, got to a room, and waited for the doctor.

Until Kyle started coughing. And didn’t stop. He could barely breathe, and Alex was panicking.

The doctor knocked him out to get him to calm down. And he went to get scans.

Alex waited for what felt like a long time before the Doctor came to get him.

"Mister Keller?"

He stood, going to the doctor, who was smiling.

"How is he?"

"I have good news."

He froze. There hadn't been any good news in a while.

"The infection is clearing up. It's almost gone."

He teared up, and smiled.

He was taken back to Kyle, and while he was still knocked out, he was okay…

He sobbed, gently kissing Kyle’s forehead.

And he texted Gabe.

"The infection is almost gone."

"Seriously?!"

"Yeah. He's asleep, but he got scans and it's basically gone. Will have another one next month. He'll hopefully wake up in a few hours, and we can get some comfort food."

"Wish we were still there. We'll come back soon, and I found a ranch near you."

"Thanks, man. I'll keep you updated."

Kyle woke up an hour later, so the doctor came in to explain a few things.

"I suggest finding a larynx specialist. Because I am 99% sure that you have permanent damage to your vocal cords. How severe, I'm not sure. But just to be sure."

They both froze up at that, but both nodded.

They left soon after, going to get Burger Town for lunch.

Alex found a specialist a few County's over, and made an appointment for two weeks from then. In the meantime, Kyle stayed on meds, Alex kept taking care of him.

Finally, they saw the doctor, and… Yes, he had permanent damage.

"Likely, this won't be too much of a pain. I say that it'll be… you'll have days where you're mute and days where you're not. If you think you're losing your voice, don't use it. There's nothing we can really do."

They nodded. They went back home, silent, but Alex held his hand. And finally spoke.

"We can work through this. We can… learn sign language. We can figure out the ceremony for the wedding. If we have to do it in sign language, we have to do it in sign language. We will figure it out. I promise."

Kyle nodded, tearing up.

They would work through it all.

Two weeks later…

They went back to get another scan. Kyle had been doing amazing. It was amazing. Kyle had been drawing up wedding invitations, since they found a venue for the next year. A beautiful rustic barn.

Alex was still worried. But he gave Kyle a kiss before they wheeled him off to get the scans.

He waited for a while. And he heard a nurse call for him with a smile on her face.

"Mister Keller? Good news."

He went up to her, hoping to hear what he thought he would.

She handed him a picture of the scan.

"The infections are gone."

He teared up as Kyle walked out, and he seemed just as happy as he jumped into his arms.

"I'm back…"

"You are, baby cakes. Let's get some food and get home."

Kyle smiled, and Alex led him back to the car, holding his hand the whole drive.

"We have to tell the others." Kyle whispered.

"We do."

"I'll text the chat…"

And he did.

"Guys, good news. Infections are gone."

Kyle

Silence for a few minutes

"Really?!"

Price

Kyle

"Yep.

I don't really have a voice now. Maybe that'll change. But both infections are gone."

"Dude, that's amazing! Knew you were getting better!"

Gabe

Matt

"Does this mean the wedding is happening sooner than we thought?"

Kyle

"Probably. The venue was picked out and we have vague plans."

"Good. Your metals should be there soon. I'll make sure you wear them to your wedding."

Price

Kyle

"Thank you, dad.

I'll talk to you guys later. I need a nap and some food."

They got home, Alex helped him inside, and to bed.

"Hun, you wanna show me any more ideas?" Alex asked

"Yeah. Here." He grabbed his laptop, and Alex smiled, climbing into bed next to him.

They would be okay.

They would be married within a year…

[dear3st-dead-diary]

Dearest Dead Diary

My dad got in a car accident, he was hit by someone on purpose, he's fine or so he says but he has yet to see a doctor. I hipe ge doesn't have a concussion and... dies.

I'm on day three of Vyvanse And Dolox. It's very effective, in w days I've cleaned my house from top to bottom and built a makeshift desk for my laptop out of left over materials from other shelves I've assembled. I just hope the new setup doesn't kill my creativity.

The first day was fun, I cleaned the bathroom and did the dishes then I went to the mall where my friend with disposable income paid for everything.

Day two was also fun, I did my laundry, cleaned my room and put away all my clothes. My friend came over and and I did her makeup and shapped her eyebrows (she's really pretty) and then we went to a sex shop that was hidden inside of a building through an elaborate set of halls and stairs.

I got some damn good stuff from there for some very good prices I also wore a killer outfit and got many compliments. The guy who runs the place has the sort of beauty to him I can't explain.

He's from a generation of queers I could only imagine the hardships he's faced, but he wears them all with pride and it shows. I hope he gets more business, he's got Hella good stock.

We came back to my place, and I dyed her hair, we cuddled for a few hours before she left around 3 am.

Today, on the third day, I finished the rest of my cleaning, and then got the news about my dad.

Today sucks. Tomorrow I atleast get to go to a house party. I don't think I'll be drinking, I wanna wait more to see how these meds affect me before I try to consume any alcohol. Cannabis om the other hand actually balances out some of the side effects. Weirdly enough, though I haven't smoked alot yet, so I guess tomorrow we'll see how that happens and what happens if I take a dab or something.

Last time I was at this party I had a seizure on the stairs and broke my foot, it's been 3 weeks and it's taking forever to heal.

I was manic but for once, I finally feel like I'm thinking clear, thinking freely, like I can rationalize. That's something I haven't consciously been able to do before. At least not to this extent.

So I'm making the conscious decision to not drink. The last time I drank on antidepressants I got alcohol poisoning, I made the mistake of drinking the amount I normally would have had I not been medicated and.. well that ended horribly.

So it takes me 12 cans to feel drunk, but now that I'm medicated it should only take three, Hopefully. Seriously I'd save so much money if I didn't need so much liquor to feel intoxicated.

But regardless, I'm being responsible. Another side effect is dry mouth and loss of appetite. Which kind of sucks in the sense that I was working uo to building more muscle, but if I end up loosing weight in the process... I don't know how to feel.

I was dangerously skinny due to stress last year and I lost alot of strength, however I looked so good. So obviously I should strive to gain and not lose, but I can't shake the feeling of knowing at that weight no matter the size of clothes I'd always fit.

I purposely gained 20 because I wanted to start building back up a lot of the muscle mass I lost. Maybe there's some way I can find the middle ground of being slim yet lean?

I'm not sure.

I'm going to try and find something healthy to feed myself. Hopefully tomorrow goes great, and if I'm lucky I'll even end up closer to my friends, more romantic or platonic, either of which is fine. I'm the rare type that actually loves people.

My best skill is talking anyone into opening up, I treasure that skill, I've had some of the loveliest conversations with the shyest of people. I've made a lot of friends that way. And oddly enough alotta enemies? But those are people projecting thier own insecurities or past experiences on me.

I've noticed the people who don't like me are the people I've said "NO" to. Frankly that's probably for the best.

I've worked hard on these relationships. I value every one of them, I really put in as much work as I can towards my friends, it's definitely paid off as we've grown closer over the past year. I'm glad, I hope we keep growing and even growing together, making eachothers lives better.

But enough with the sap. I've got productivity on my mind and the motivation so I better put that to yse while it lasts.

With a future and goals.

- A

[causalitylinked]

OOC UPDATES

updated Ryuto’s backstory to now include a bit more information about his family background and what his childhood was like as a rich kid

gave Ryuto and Kobato a modern verse ( which may technically just be a Post Caligula Effect 2 Verse, but hey, it still counts as one in my eyes )

[dameronology]

hi jazzy!! can i also request "you know damn well i would ruin myself for you a million little times" w robin please? ❤️💗❣️💖

yes robin the loml - this is implied fem reader bc of robin ofc

(also i'm sorry this is all in lower caps i know some authors do that as a stylistic choice but genuinely the caps lock key on my mac is stuck right now. not a stylistic choice and more of a "i spilled chicken soup" on my laptop sorta thing)

the air was cold from up here.

perched atop a billboard just on the outskirts of hawkins with robin beside you, the dimming lights of the tiny town glinted in the distance. every so often, you'd watch as one - a house, or an office, or maybe someone's headlights - would switch off, signalling another step forward towards a sleepless night. neither of you had spoken for a while. it was hard to find the words. what could you even fucking say?

sorry for dumping you. sincerest apologies for breaking your heart, babe, but we both saw it coming, right?

your hand was just inches from hers, pinky to pinky. normally, you would have reached out and taken in. tangled your fingers with hers and brought her hand to your lips; maybe you'd kiss it. maybe you'd just hold it, or play with her fingers and the homemade rings that decorated them; they were all varying shades of pastels, every so slightly mismatched from the chipped colours on her bitten nails.

being in love was hard. being in love with someone as frustrating as robin was buckley was even harder. she was an enigma; beautiful and funny, but so, so scared of her own feelings. she had so much love to give that it terrified even herself, so more often than not she would take it and run away. the girl would trip and fall on her way out of your life but it was only weeks before she came back. things were best during those times: when you had all of her. every last bit of her questionably sane mind, with its constant rambling and endless questions about the universe. it wouldn't last forever though - she'd slip away again after a month, maybe two. it was a constant cycle and it was tonight you'd decided that you had to be the one to end it.

"it's nothing i've done, right?" robin quietly asked. "i mean...obviously it is something i've done, because logically if you had done something to end the relationship i would be the one to instigate the dumping but just as like a final thing, maybe an exit interview, a quick review of our ill-fated dalliance if you will-"

"- robin!" you cut her off, trying to fight a smile. "no, it's nothing you've done. i just think you need to take some time for yourself to work out your feelings-"

"- i know my feelings!" she insisted. "i do. there are some things i'm unsure about, lots of things that i think i'm sure about but my feelings for you are the one thing i know i'm sure about."

you sighed, eyes flickering off to the distance. "in a few weeks, you're gonna be distant again and you'll disappear. it'll be no more than a month before you call me and i know i'll take you back because i'm spineless when it comes to you but..."

you paused. robin prodded your side, a signal to look at her.

"but what?"

"it's not fair on either of us," you gave her a teary smile. "i love you. more than anything in this stupid world, i love you. i just can't keep letting myself question whether you love me every time you run away."

"i do love you."

"i know you do," you replied. "call me when you're ready, yeah?"

she frowned, lips dragging into a pout. "what if it takes me a long time?"

"i'll wait."

hopping down the ladder, you leapt off a few foot from the ground and gave robin a small wave. she returned it, teary smile not faltering; she watched as you walked to the car, eyes following until you were on the road and off into the distance back towards hawkins.

truth was, you could have let her break your heart a thousand times. you could only hope that this time was the last time.

[7-wonders]

With Michael from the Mad Love universe, from the Sentence Starters list under angst, “Why are you awake right now?” + from the 150 random prompts list, “you need some sleep” & “sleep is for the weak” (1/4)

Michael finds his wife working on midterm papers super late. Michael finds himself not pleased with that at all.

3. “Why are you awake right now?”

41. you need some sleep

45. sleep is for the weak

Ever since you officially became a couple, Michael's found himself spoiled with just how well he sleeps now that he has you in the same bed. While he used to be plagued by nightmares and visions of death, that's now a rare occurrence with you. So when he wakes up at—he rolls over to check the time on his phone—1 a.m. and you're not in bed with him, he feels a little lost. Where could you be?

The answer isn't that difficult to find. Michael follows the lights that are still on in the house and finds you downstairs in the living room, where he had left you four hours ago when he finally declared that he was going to bed and you told him that you would be up in just a few minutes. Obviously, that was a lie. He knows that you're stressed right now with trying to finish the midterm papers you've been assigned, but he didn't think "a few minutes" would be a few hours.

You look up at him from where you're laying on the couch and smile sleepily. It's almost the same position that he left you in, except now you're fully laying down with your computer basically pulled up to your chin. Something, probably one of the YouTube channels you love so much, plays quietly on the TV since you hate working in silence. Papers and books are scattered around you and left open on the pages that you had needed citations.

"Hi," you say, typing while talking to him. That will never fail to weird him out. "I thought you went to bed?"

"I did." He stands in the entrance to the living room, feeling sleepy and confused, and runs a hand through his tangled curls. "Why are you awake right now?"

"I decided I would just go ahead and finish the paper for Dr. Miller's class, since I was already on a roll and didn't want to lose my train of thought."

"It's one in the morning now."

"I know! I'll be up soon, I promise." You grab the opened energy drink that sits on the table, and Michael lunges for you.

"No no no, there's no way I'm letting you drink an energy drink so late! Y/n, I know that these papers are important for your grades and that you want to finish them now, but you need some sleep."

You wave off his concerns. "Pssh, sleep is for the weak."

Michael rolls his eyes towards the ceiling even though he knows that that guy certainly isn't going to answer his silent pleas, trying to think of what to do. Finally, it comes to him. "If you're not going to sleep, you need to at least take an electronic break. You're going to give yourself a headache if you keep staring at that screen."

He can see in your eyes that you're mulling it over, hating the thought of having a killer headache form when you could have prevented it. "Fine, I'll take a fifteen minute break."

"Can you lay in bed with me? It's hard for me to sleep when you're not there." He lays on the pout extra thick, knowing that there's no way you can say no to him when he admits his feelings.

"Yeah, I can definitely do that."

You reach out your hands and let him pull you up from the couch, closing your laptop to save the battery and placing it on the table next to the cans of energy drinks you've already consumed (he's really going to have to have a talk with you about that).

When he gets you into bed, you're already yawning. You sit on top of the covers as if to remind yourself that you actually need to get up again and finish your paper, but you allow Michael to pull you to lay down next to him. "Ugh, my eyes burn," you complain.

"Close them, then," Michael says softly. "I'll tell you when it's been fifteen minutes."

You do as he says, smiling at him before you do. "Thanks, Michael, you're the best. I love you."

He begins to run his hand up and down your arm, knowing that the simple action relaxes you. "I love you, too. Rest, okay?"

Michael is pretty proud of the fact that he doesn't even have to use his magic to get you to fall asleep, naturally making your sleep in ten minutes flat. And when you do wake up the next morning not feeling like the walking dead, you don't have it in you to be mad at him for tricking you into sleeping.

[tbmaybank]

I’d like to request an imagine that takes place in an alternate universe where there’s no rule that says “no Pogue on Pogue macking”, the female reader is a Pogue and has been dating JJ since the show began, and during season 1, the Pogues go to a party and JJ encourages Pope to date Kiara. Pope and Kiara aren’t a couple yet, but there’s definitely a spark. The reader is a ray of sunshine and head over heels for JJ, and he’s head over heels for her.

Warnings: mentions of drinking and drugs

A/N: I hope this is what you were wanting, and that you love this as much as I do! 🥺

Requests are Open!

(also I'm sorry for no tag list on this! I'm not on my laptop so I don't have the list right now 🥺)

-------------------------------------------------

JJ never planned on falling in love. In fact, he avoided it like the plague. That was, of course, until he met Y/f/n Y/l/n. He was completely captivated by you the second he met you. And even though he'd deny it now, you were the only girl to ever make him too nervous to even try to flirt. In fact, he had been so nervous around you that the weeks leading up to him finally asking you on a date, you were convinced he hated you with how little he spoke to you.

Of course, he wanted to talk to you all the time, but back then every time he went to start a conversation, the words would get caught in his throat once he looked into your y/e/c eyes. He had wanted to ask you out that very first day, but it would take 3 weeks before he found the courage.

"Hey, y/n?" He said to you one day. The other pogues had gone inside, leaving you two alone outside.

"What's up, JJ?" You asked, smiling at him. That smile was almost enough to cause him to back out completely, but he forced himself to continue.

"I.. uh. I was just wondering, if maybe you'd want to maybe go on a date, sometime? Like, with me?"

Your eyes widened with shock. "You wanna go on a date with me?"

"um.. yeah." He says, your reaction making him want to run away, because of course he assumed your surprised expression was because you hated the idea.

"But... Don't you like, hate me?" You asked.

Now it was his turn to be shocked. "What? No! I- why would you think I hated you?"

You shrugged, "You never really talk to me, and it seems like you avoid being left alone with me."

He shakes his head. "No. I don't hate you. I just.. I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen before, and you make me nervous."

You smiled sweetly at him then. "Okay. I'll go on a date with you."

That was a year and a half ago, and he's just as much, if not more, captivated by everything you do. Only difference is now, he can call you his girlfriend, and he has his normal confidence back around you. The truth is, he's amazed by everything you do. Your ability to stay positive no matter what, that you're always willing to help someone in need, even if you generally dislike the person.

Currently, all of the pogues we're at a party at someone from schools house, distracting themselves from all the problems in their lives with copious amounts of alcohol and weed. You were off to the side talking to Kie, John B and Sarah had walked off awhile ago to God knows where. Which left JJ and Pope, sitting on the couch talking. Pope was in the middle of explaining the confusing signals he's been getting from Kie, and JJ was trying his best to help his friend.

"I just don't know what to think about it all." Pope says as he finishes talking.

"Man, you gotta just be straight forward with her. Just go up and ask her out, or ask her what's happening. But no one but her can tell you what's happening in her head." JJ says as he lights his joint, offering it to Pope who denies it as usual.

"I can't do that. I'm not like you, I can't just walk up and ask a girl I'm crazy about out. It's not easy for me like it is for you."

"You think it was easy for me? Dude, I thought I was going to puke the second the words came out. And I barely got them out." He says, chuckling.

"Wait, really? You?" Pope questions, leaning forward more to look at JJ better.

"Yeah, really. But I asked. And look at us now. I'm just saying, even if she says no, at least then you'd know."

"Yeah, you're right." Pope says with a sigh. JJ looks over at you to check on you, and is happy to see you walking towards him, Kie in tow.

"I am right, and what's a better time than now?" He stands up, grabbing your hand once you get close enough. "Let's go outside babe, Pope needs to ask Kie something." He says, pulling you outside, ignoring both the confused look on Kies face and the daggers Pope is sending him for rushing him.

"So what does he need to ask her?" You ask him once you're outside.

"Oh, I don't know. I just wanted to get you alone." He lies with a smirk, pulling you close to him.

"Mhm, sure." You say sarcastically, but wrap your arms around him, leaning your head against his chest as he kisses the top of your head. As you two stood there, holding each other, he can't help but think back to when he would hear people say someone was their whole world, and how back then that statement would make no sense to him. But as he hears you sigh in happiness against him, he understands. Only, to him.. you weren't just his whole world. You were his entire universe, his love for you stretching beyond measure, and he knew that you loved him just as much. He would do absolutely anything for you, and you for him.

He looks towards the house where he knows Pope is struggling through an awkward conversation, just like the one he had with you all that time ago. And he hopes hes right about his suspicion that Kie is just as into Pope as he is into her. He hopes they get to experience what he has with you, although he knows that this kind of love is one of a kind. That no matter how much anyone else tries, they'll never have what you two have together.

[hyunsuks-beanie]

TXT when they accidentally use your insecurity against you in an argument

A/N: So I wanted to write something for my babies TXT, and I'm a sucker for angst with fluffy endings.... So, here we go again!

Yeonjun

"I like this dress Yeonjun. And I'm not gonna change out of it, so cut it out," you huff, annoyed at your boyfriend pestering you to change into something else, something a bit less revealing (in his opinion). "Babe no, trust me. This dress isn't all that good. It looked good in your closet, but it's not looking good on you." "Uh huh, and why should I believe that? I tried it out in front of my friends, and they said I looked really nice wearing it," you counter. When he doesn't say anything and just glares at you, you ask him again, "Come on Jun. What is it? Tell me. Give me a solid reason, and maybe I'll change out of it. Although I think there isn't a real reason, you're just being overprot-" Yeonjun loses his cool very easily, and you just crossed the line by pointing out the truth.

"Oh shut up Y/N," he cuts you off, raising his voice. "You're wayyyy too curvy for this dress. It makes you look fat and desperate." When you don't reply, he turns around to see tears welling up in your eyes. It's only then that he realizes what he's said. He just used your biggest insecurity against you, and he can do nothing but watch you run up the stairs to your bedroom, crying. He decides to give you some space, but ten minutes later, he's at the bedroom door, unable to stay away from you any longer. He enters slowly, only to see you bawling your eyes out after having changed out the dress. "Y/N, baby...," he whimpers, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that. I know I'm a jerk, but I just want to say, you are right. I was being overprotective."

(Rest of the members are under the cut!)

Soobin

"Soobin, stop practicing and eat something. You must be starving," you smile at your boyfriend, who is busy practicing for a comeback. He doesn't reply, and after five minutes, you beckon him again. "Soobin, ea-," he cuts you off by loudly saying, "Gosh Y/N, stop being so clingy and annoying." You're taken aback by his sudden outburst. Your Soobin never talks to you this way. " Soobin I just," you start again, only to have him cut you off again. "Can't you see I'm practicing? Can't you see I have better things in life to do, than to eat with you? I swear, when I agreed to dating you, I didn't know you were such an attention-seeker," he says without turning around.

Needless to say, you walk out the door as soon as he's done talking, and what's worse is that he doesn't even notice. Hours later, once he finally nails the choreography, he looks down at the food, and gratitude and guilt wash over him. He tries calling you, but you don't pick up, and that's when he knows he's screwed up big time. He quickly goes home, only to find you asleep on the couch after having cried your eyes out. He wants to leave you be, but he knows he needs to apologize. So he gently shakes you awake, before saying, "I'm so sorry Y/N. This one's one me."

Beomgyu

"Beomgyu, can we please go out? The weather is so nice!!," you say to your boyfriend, who's busy playing video games. "Maybe later baby. I'm busy right now." "You're always busy," you mutter under your breath, which, thankfully, Beomgyu doesn't hear. He's had a hectic month at the company, and now that he finally had a day off, instead of spending time with you, he's bust playing video games. You are a supportive partner, you really are. But Beomgyu is being really thick right now, and you can't help but sigh. A while later though, you try again, "Beomgyu....are you done yet?," You ask excitedly. You half expected a cold response, but what you didn't expect was a glare from him. "Gosh Y/N, what the hell are you so loud for? It's giving me a headache, and it made me lose the game," he says loudly. "I-I'm sorry, I d-didn't know," you try to reason.

"I have one day off in a whole month, and you don't even have the decency to let me enjoy what I like doing? I don't like going out with you anyway, you're boring," he lowers his voice, but you still hear. Your shock turns into annoyance, as you say, "Oh I'm so sorry. I'll leave you to your stupid game." With that, you walk out the door, determined to not let your stupid boyfriend ruin your mood on such a nice day. Beomgyu decides to restart the game, when another player says, "Dude, did you even hear yourself? Is that any way to talk to your partner? You know they're right man, apologize to them." This manages to knock some sense into Beomgyu, and makes him feel guilty. He walks out of the house, knowing full well you must've gone to Han River. He has no trouble finding you, and as soon as he sees you, sitting on the grass under a tree, he comes up slowly behind you. When you're in his reach, he wraps his arms around you, whispering a soft "I'm sorry."

Taehyun

You like Taehyun. You really do. And so, you're always trying to find ways to talk to him. But he's been busy this week, and you didn't want to come off as too annoying or too desperate, so you decided to hang out with Huening Kai more. He's a good friend of yours, who knows about your crush on Taehyun. You guys have been fooling around for a couple days, and, unbeknownst to you, Taehyun hasn't been liking how close you two seem. One day, you went up to Hyuka, asking him if he wanted to hang out. Taehyun was sitting close by, working on his laptop. He gets jealous seeing you approaching his best friend instead of him, and before the younger boy can reply, he quips, "Y/N, are you always this desperate? First it used to be me. Now it's Huening Kai. Who's gonna be next? Jungkook hyung? Or Jungwon?" You're shocked at this, since Taehyun just called you what you had been trying to avoid being called. "I'll talk to you later," you say to Huening Kai, before turning away and leaving. "Dude, that was totally uncalled for. She's been hanging out with me because she didn't want to disturb you seeing as how busy you are. And look at you, being a total jerk," Hyuka says to Taehyun. It's then that he realizes his mess up, and he quickly gets up, hoping to catch you before you leave. He sees your form about to exit the building, and he jogs up to you before grabbing hold of your hand and turning you around. "Look, I know I messed up. I just got jealous, I'm so sorry," he says.

Huening Kai

Hyuka enters your shared apartment, and soon as you see him, you know something is up. He seems pissed, or actually, beyond pissed. "Hyuka, baby, what's wrong? Did something happen?" "Oh nothing much, just the hyungs teasing me like always," he says in mock nonchalance. You see through it though, and ask, "Why? Should I go fight with them for upsetting you?" You meant this only as a joke, but it's enough to make Huening Kai raise his voice, and say "No Y/N. I don't need your help! I don't need you to fight anyone on my behalf, I don't need you to check up on me, I don't need you to send me food. Quit being so nagging. You're not my mom, so stop acting like one."

You're at a loss for words. You thought that your boyfriend liked being looked after, but apparently, you were wrong. You feel guilty for embarrassing him, for being the reason he's upset. "I-I'm sorry, I promise, I won't nag you anymore. I didn't know you didn't like me looking after you. Sorry I embarrassed you," you say, mustering a weak smile. Even though he had said the same words minutes ago, seeing you repeat them makes him realize how rude he's been to you, when all you've been doing was looking out for him. He hugs you super tight, catching you by surprise. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lashed out like that."

[infinitefandomimagines]

How the hq boys react to you pulling an all-nighter

WARNINGS: none

-

CHARACTERS: kuroo tetsuro, bokuto koutarou, ushijima wakatoshi

Kuroo Tetsurou:

Kuroo had grown used to waking up with you pressed against his side in the early morning hours, each time pulling you closer and reveling in your warmth. It'd become something of a routine. He always woke up before you, eventually resorting to gently poking at your face when he grew impatient with the lack of attention.

However, this time as he reaches out, his fingers only grasp at cold and empty sheets. He lifts his head a little, peering through hazy eyes to search for your presence. When he realizes you weren't in your shared room, he lazily rolls out of bed to search for you. Maybe you'd woken up before him. It was rare that this happened, but when it did, you always made breakfast and had it waiting for the two of you when he woke.

After scouring the kitchen to no avail, he moves on to the living room of your small shared apartment. Sure enough, there you were, but why?

That's right! It hit him, you stayed up late to finish a lab report for one of your classes. However, when he went to bed he'd been under the impression that you'd eventually join him when you finished, not stay up the entire night. Yet there you were, still in the same position he'd left you in the night before. Hunched over a laptop, staring at the dim screen with dead eyes, attempting to comprehend the words on the screen. Snack wrappers and empty energy drink cans were scattered around your laptop along with a few loose pieces of paper and texts books. You looked absolutely exhausted, dark circles already forming just beneath your eyes.

It took you a while to even notice your boyfriend standing right in front of you, a concerned look painting his face. "Hmm? Oh, hi Tetsu . . . what time is it?"

"It's seven in the morning. Kitten, did you stay up all night?"

You nodded your head very slightly, rubbing the heel of your palms against your eyes, trying to the clear the cloudiness from your vision. "Had to finish my lab report."

He wants to scold you for sacrificing your health to finish the assignment that could have easily waited until today. But one more glance at your tired form tells him to bite his tongue for the time being. You were barely able able keep your eyes open, eyes closing ever now and then before snapping back open. Besides, it's not like he was one to talk, he'd done the same thing the week prior to finish a paper.

Looking back down at the empty food wrappers, an idea popped into his head. "Alright, Kitten," he spoke softly, extending both his hands out to you, palms up. "Let's go get you some proper breakfast, and when we get back you're going straight to bed."

Your movements were slow as you placed your hands into his, allowing him to pull you up from the couch. You wobbled a bit as you stood, but Kuroo was there to steady you.

Neither of you even bothered changing before Kuroo lead you to the front door and into his car, taking you to the small diner ten minutes from your apartment. He paid for your food, letting you get anything you wanted — except coffee, saying that you needed to sleep instead of trying to fight through the day on caffeine.

You ended up falling asleep in the car on the drive back to your apartment, exhaustion finally taking in over. Kuroo didn't have the heart to wake you up, so he ended up carrying you bridal style up a flight of stairs and into your shared apartment.

He gently sets you down in your bed, pulling the covers up to your chin. "Get some sleep, Kitten," he whispers, leaning down to press a feather light kiss to the space between your eyes.

Bokuto Koutarou

If you think Bokuto isn't right there with you all night, then you are terribly mistaken. He's not going to bed unless you're there as well, wrapped up in his arms. No matter how tired he grew, he absolutely refused to leave you alone all night while you caught up on school work.

"Baby. . ." he drawled out in a whiney voice, lips set in a pout. "How much longer?"

You let out a sigh, this was the tenth time in the past hour Bokuto had interrupted your studying with his complaints. Not even bothering to look up from your laptop, you spoke. "I told you Kou, I need to get this done. You don't have to stay with me, I'll come to bed once I'm finished."

All you got in response was a childish "No," and an even bigger pout. You playfully rolled your eyes at how stubborn he could be. Despite his determination, you figured his exhaustion would take over eventually and he'd have no other choice than to finally go to bed. So, you returned your attention back to your school work and left Bokuto to entertain himself.

A few minutes passed and from the corner of your eye you noticed Bokuto's head starting to slowly tilt downward, his chin falling to his chest. However, just as quickly as he began to drift off, he jolted himself back awake, his head snapping up and eyes blinking furiously. This continued for about half an hour before you finally interjected. You reached your hand out and placed it atop of his to gain his attention. The sudden contact caused him to perk up, eyes wide.

"Kou, I can tell how exhausted you are. It's okay, I'll be fine alone. Please go get some rest." You lightly grazed your thumb over his knuckles. You were starting to feel guilty that he was fighting off some much needed sleep just to be with you.

Of course, your pleas fell on deaf ears with him. Shaking his head, he once again refused to leave your side. With neither of you giving in to the other, you decided to seek out a sort of middle ground. A compromise that was mainly of Bokuto's invention. That's how you ended up in your current — and slightly strange — position.

Bokuto laid on his stomach with his head in your lap, muscular arms wrapped around your hips, holding you as close as possible. His head was cocked to the side so that so that he could snuggle his face into your stomach. You've got your laptop set up on his back at an angle that still allowed you to see it clearly. As odd as it seemed, Bokuto claimed he didn't mind, saying the heat from it felt nice on his back muscles. But you're pretty sure the main reason is that he just wants to be close to you, which you don't mind.

Every so often when you're not using your hands for typing notes, you'll reach down and play with his hair. He let's out a hum of appreciation each time your finger tips make contact with his scalp, scratching at the sweet spot just above his nape. With your fingers working their magic, you manage to lull him to sleep in just a few minutes.

The two end up staying like that the rest of the night, it was surprisingly comfortable. Although at some point, he almost knocks over the whole set-up when he stirs in his sleep.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

He's not all that surprised to find your side of the bed empty when he wakes up for his daily 6:00 a.m. run. You'd been working on a paper just before he'd gone off to bed, and by the looks of it you still had quite a bit left to get through. So he got ready for his run as usual, throwing on a pair of joggers and jacket before making his way to the living room where he knew you'd be.

What did surprise him however, was the fact that you were still awake when he found you; well, half awake. You were laid out on the couch, turned on your side to face your laptop, though Ushijima doubted you were doing much in terms of work at this point.

He really thought you would have fallen asleep by now, but obviously he'd underestimated your determination.

"Is it already six?" You mumbled, propping yourself up on your elbow upon seeing Ushijima staring down at you. "You know, you really shouldn't stay up all night like this. You'll mess up your sleep schedule."

"Mhm," You hummed out, not having enough energy to come up with a quip or argue your case for staying up. Ushijima's brows knit together with concern, you must really be tired if the most you can muster up is a dull "mhm." He didn't notice it at first, but now having a better look at you, he takes note of the dark circles under your eyes and slightly paler complexion.

"Would you like to go to bed?"

You nod, but don't budge, too tired to even make an effort. Sleeping on the couch wouldn't be so horrible would it? Just as your eyelids begin to flutter shut, a pair of strong arms slip themselves under your figure. With one arm supporting your back and the other placed strategically at the bend of your knees, Ushijima lifts you up, cradling you against his chest. You lazily wrap your arms around his neck, trying your best to help him support your weight — even though he'd proved many times over that picking you up was no struggle. Looks like you won't be sleeping on the couch after all.

"Did you at least finish your paper?" He asks, voice low and soft as he carries you to your shared bedroom. You nod again before letting your head fall against his shoulder. "Good, I'm proud of you."

A warm blush creeps it's way onto your cheeks at his compliment. You dig your face further into his chest in an attempt to hide it, but given the small chuckle that vibrates through his chest he'd already saw.

"Now get some sleep, you need it." The second he sets you down on your bed you're missing his warmth. Even as he tucks you in under the comforter you find yourself reaching out to him with grabby hands. "Stay with me Toshi?" He really wants to say yes.

"I'll be back in a hour after my run." He places a chaste kiss to your forehead in hopes that it'll be enough to satisfy your need for affection until he gets back. Of course, it's not, and he can't help the way his heart sinks when your arms fall to your side. The sigh that escapes your lips only adds to his guilt.

As much as you wanted him to stay, you were too tired to try and convince him. Instead, you just closed your eyes and turned to your side, accepting your fate.

There's a light shuffling followed by a sigh that you assume is just your boyfriend stretching before his run. But then the bed sinks behind you as the same pair of arms that carried you just a few minutes ago snake around your waist. Warmth consumes you as Ushijima pulls you into his bare chest, your back now pressed flush against him. His long legs naturally tangle together with yours, and he nuzzles his face into your hair, breathing in the scent of your shampoo.

"I thought you were going for your run?" You ask, not that you were exactly complaining about this change of plans.

"It can wait. Just get some rest, I'll still be here when you wake up."

"Mmm, thank you, Toshi."

-

A/N: I’m thinking about doing a part 2 to this with other characters so let me know who you want to see!

- 

TAGLIST: @chewymoustachio  

[egg-on-the-run]

Massage

The turtle's s/o is exhausted, they help make things better with a massage.

(she/her pronouns used)

Leonardo

She's already asleep in his bed when he comes home from patrol. Usually she waits for him on the couch, even when she was tired, but Splinter had specifically told him she was already asleep, warned him to do his best not to wake her up.

She must be exhausted.

He tiptoes in as quietly as he could after his shower, spots her lying flat on his bed: not tucked in, just lying atop his blankets on her stomach. She had been too tired to lift the sheets.

He can see how tense she is, can see the way how even in her sleep her shoulders still rise to her ears, how her finger twitches with an anxious need to keep moving. Her face scrunched up slightly, adorable, but he would rather it be relaxed and soft.

He's careful and slow moving her onto the bed properly, still not setting her under the covers just yet. He's even more careful when he straddles her legs, keeps his weight off them almost entirely. His hands start at her lower back, kneading into her very softly.

She jolts and eyes snap open, "What are you doing?"

"I uh, I was giving you a massage, you look tense, even in your sleep."

"Oh," She relaxes, "You're an angel, just scared me a little." Her head hits the pillow again, already drifting off.

He tries once more, hands softly pressing into her lower back. She lets out a breath of air, sinking further into the mattress. He continues, travelling further up her spine. Usually he hates the sound of bones cracking (all of his brothers teased him constantly about it), but tonight he was quite happy to hear little pops coming from her spine. He especially didn't mind when she gave a little moan afterwards.

His hands travel further up towards her shoulders, kneading and rolling his wrists into the dozens of knots in her back. Her shoulders were so tense that she whined whenever he was too rough. He had to be gentle, working them out slowly.

By the time he was finished, she was sleepily trying to reach his hand with her eyes closed.

"Cuddle me," She mumbled as she found his hand, "Pretty please? I've got tomorrow off."

"Of course," He replied, moving to help her under the sheets, "That was the plan anyway."

He pulled her tight against his chest, hearing her bones crack once more as she melted like putty in his hands. He kissed her forehead.

"Thank god you've got tomorrow off, I'll let you sleep in as long as you want." He sighed, relaxing himself, "I'll make sure the lair is quiet."

She didn't hear a word of what he said, she was already fast asleep.

Raphael

Raphael was the king of tension. He wasn't like Michelangelo where little bothered him, or like Donatello who had those random self care days, or even like Leonardo who learned to de-stress through meditation. Oh no, Raphael carried tension like a mother with a clingy child: pulling on his shoulders, weighing him down and making him irritated.

It came with the whole anger thing.

So there have been countless times where she has used her knuckles to work the knots out of his shoulders. It was no easy task, especially when she had to use most of her body weight to actually get through each and every knot.

But she'd do it a hundred times more if he needed her to, and Raphael knew that, knew it all to well.

So when he sees her already grumbling to herself at the latest email that just came through to her laptop, when he see her shoulders rising to her ears in frustration and hands balling into fists, he knew he had to do the same thing for her as she had done countless times for him.

She jumps when he first puts his hands on her shoulders, but recognises the warm touch shortly after.

"What are you doing?" She asked, one hand reaching up to rest on top of his, she kept her attention glued to her screen, "I have a lot of work to do, Raphie."

"I know," He said, beginning to knead into her shoulders, "Just a massage, you look stressed."

"Oh with that lovely email, I am more than stressed."

She's always had a sharp tongue, never directed it to him (never intentionally) but he knows her patience is wearing thin and work certainly wasn't helping. He thought about taking his hands away entirely, not wanting to pester her; but she ran her thumb across his hand, typed with only one set of fingers, and Raphael remembered how often she did this for him when his patience was thinner than a piece of paper.

He pressed his hands into her shoulders again, watched as her head leaned back and body moved with his hands. He knew the feeling, when the knots were so tight they just hurt. He continued to work his hands into her shoulders, and slowly it seemed to stop hurting and the tension started to melt away. She closed her eyes, pushed her laptop away from her and just let herself be for a moment.

"Those big ol' hands of yours," She said, voice more like a breath, "So gentle with me."

"Not like you, using your damn elbows to get the knots out."

"But does it work?" She laughed.

He chuckled, "Of course it works, you're the best at this."

"Oh I dunno, you might give me a run for my money, this feels like heaven right now." Her head rolled to the side, turning slightly to kiss his hand, "Take me to bed Raphie, please."

With one final squeeze he let go, moving his arms to wrap around her waist and carry her to bed. Work wasn't important, this was.

Donatello

The lair was far too noisy, Donatello's lab was far too bright. Everything was just too much, all at once. Even as she sat on his desk, the reflection of his computer in his glasses from behind her was glaring into her eyes. He sat between her legs, arms around her waist and rambling about — god, she didn't even know at this point. She'd spaced out long ago, too overwhelmed to even try and catch up.

He moved his head at he spoke, Donatello was always an expressive fellow, and the light bounced off his glasses right into her eyes. She squinted, scrunched her entire face up and groaned.

"You have a migraine," He said plainly, "I have some painkillers in my drawer—"

"I took some earlier, they just haven't kicked in yet." She frowned.

She looked in pain, Donatello hated to see her like this, hated when there wasn't anything he could do.

He reached up and cupped her face, "Have you had enough water today?"

"Yeah," She mumbled, "Been using that new water bottle I got."

"When did you last eat?"

"Went out for dinner with some coworkers."

Donnie hummed, not knowing what else could cause her such a migraine. They usually had a reason behind them, she didn't usually just get them randomly. He wondered if she'd be on her phone too much, not to sound like Splinter, but she's been talking to him for the past hour or so, her eyes should have rested by now.

She pushed her cheek into his hand, letting his hand squish the chub on her face. Donatello squeezed gently, rubbing her cheeks in a circular motion.

"What are you doing?" She asked, voice muffled by his hands.

"Massaging your face," He replied, moving to knead her cheekbones with his thumbs, "Maybe it's tension that's brought this on."

"Maybe..."

He moved his thumbs over the bridge of her nose and followed the shape of her eyebrows, he repeated the action a few times before gently rubbing her temples.

"You're really good at this..." She murmured, eyes closed and jaw slack. Her face was no long scrunched up, but instead so completely relaxed she looked as though she was already asleep. Donatello persisted, using his thumbs to move the tension away from her face. His hands moved to her hair, grasping tightly and then releasing, he tickled his fingers through her locks: slowly so as not to pull on any tangles.

By the time he'd moved back to her jaw, he was pretty sure she'd fallen asleep where she sat. He smiled softly at her, kissed her forehead, and carried her off to bed.

He needed an early night as well.

Michelangelo

She had been on her feet all day, running errands for a coworker who had recently hurt their leg. Said coworker was fine, and would be perfectly capable of putting of such errands until their leg was better (really, Mikey huffed, using his girlfriend like a servant). But she could never just say no, and even after she'd ran around the city collecting bits and bops, dropping off items and buying groceries, her coworker hadn't even offered her so much as a sit down before he not-so-subtly led her out of his apartment.

So she came stumbling to the lair, exhausted and drained beyond compare and ready to collapse but still so eager to see her darling Mikey. He was in the shower when she arrived, she knew because Raphael told her, and because she could hear his singing before she'd even arrived.

She dragged herself to his bed, kicking her shoes off and not even caring where she left them. She collapsed to her knees before she could crawl under the blankets, lying surprisingly comfortably on the floor.

"Hey, hey angel! What are you doing down here?" Mikey's cheerful voice woke her up, along with a little shake of her shoulder. "We snoozing on the floor now?"

"So tired..." She mumbled, eyes fluttering closed, "Carry me to bed."

"No problem, the whole five feet distance it is." Mikey chuckled. He picked her up, sliding her onto his bed, careful not to bump her head on Raphael's top bunk. "All those errands huh? Guy owes you a thanks at least."

"Jackass kicked me out before I could even sit down at his place," She glared at the mattress above her, "So rude."

"Uh, totes rude? My girl did all that for him and he doesn't even let you sit down? Jackass is a very nice way to describe him." Mikey smiled at her, "Your poor little feet must be sore after all that running around."

"I think my ankles are swollen."

"Just a little." He teased, moving to sit between her legs. He took one of her legs and squeezed firmly along her calves. His hands slid down to her ankles and he frowned: they were slightly swollen, he had only been joking but turns out he was right. He rolled her ankle for her, moved her foot so that it pointed and then helped stretch her heel. He squeezed her calf one more time before moving on to her other leg.

"You're so sweet," She babbled, "Thank you for taking care of me."

"No problem babe, somebody has to," He laughed, "And it's not hard work."

She smiled at him, eyes struggling to stay open. He smiled back at her, not that she could see him, and softly told her to go to sleep; he'd take care of her.