#[ now i wonder what's gonna happen when grimmjow wakes up in hospital and nnoitra is like DID YA TRY TA KILL YERSELF ]

[despairforme]

[Hey wanna come & watch a movie l8r][I'll order food 4 us][If u don't wanna come it's ok] Grimmjow was on his bed as he sent the texts. Unfortunately, he wasn't feeling too good physically. But, that could be from the withdrawals he was having. Cold, shaking, sweaty, and nauseous. He REALLY wanted to see his boyfriend though, so he sent a final text. [I miss u] Too bad he'd accidentally overdose a few hours prior to movie night. Unconscious on his bed, barely breathing, and a needle in his hand.

     ❝ Someone’s popular. ❞ His ‘ colleague ‘ commented as Nnoitra came down the stairs that led backstage to the locker room where the fighters would wait in between matches. Nnoitra assumed that the guy was talking about the good round of applause that he had just gotten. It hadn’t been anything special. The crowd was always eager to see him fight, and they let that be known through cheers and applause.

     ❝ Same as usual. ❞ Nnoitra replied somewhat flatly, rolling his shoulders in a vague shrug as he passed the guy. Next, he dropped himself down on the bench by his locker, pretending to stretch, like what he’d just gone through in the ring had been enough to cause him to need that. 

     ❝ Yeah, no, that’s not what I meant. Your phone kept receiving texts. ❞ The man pointed at Nnoitra’s locker, where his phone was. In the past, Nnoitra hadn’t used to bring his phone to work, since the only person who ever texted him was his manager. However, after he started dating Grimmjow, he brought it, in the hopes that he would receive a call or something like that. Sometimes, he would text Grimmjow too, even if it was late at night.

     Upon hearing that he had received multiple texts, there was no hiding the excitement that bubbled up in him, expressing itself on his face in the form of a grin. His colleague arched a brow. ❝ Nnoitra has a girlfriend! The apocalypse is near! ❞ The mocking words were said in a friendly enough tone so that Nnoitra didn’t feel the need to punch his teeth in ( and in any case, he didn’t have time for that, he had to check the messages! ). He quickly unlocked the little aluminium door, and fished out his phone from his hoodie.

     FOUR new messages! All from Grimmjow! Quickly, Nnoitra read through them.

     The messages gave him mixed feelings. First of all, he was happy that Grimmjow asked him to hang out. Second, he was thankful for the fact that he’d be getting food. And thirdly, he was confused about why Grimmjow would think that he didn’t want to hang out with him. The most important part was the forth and last part though - that he was missed. Just those three words of the last message made Nnoitra’s chest heat up, and he let out a breath. Texting back was surprisingly easy. Probably because, to Nnoitra, talking to Grimmjow came naturally, so why would texting be any different?

text to: grimmjow - 「?????」

text to: grimmjow - 「ofc i wanna come over」

text to: grimmjow - 「im @ work rn but imma c if i can gt off erly」

text to: grimmjow - 「miss u 2」

text to: grimmjow - 「imma b over in 2h ok?」

text to: grimmjow - 「miss u」

     When he read through the texts, he realized he’d said that he missed him twice. Oh well. He DID miss him! He could’ve added that he couldn’t wait to see him, but, that would be a bit too much, right? He could tell him face to face instead. Oh, and he was also going to tell him that he should stop being so insecure. Tch. Saying that it was okay if he didn’t want to come over. What kind of bullshit was that? Grimmjow really needed more confidence. It was Nnoitra’s job to give that to him, right? He had to make him understand that he ALWAYS wanted to be around him.

     Nnoitra nodded to himself. ALRIGHT, now he had a mission. He was going to tell Grimmjow exactly what was on his mind once they saw each other, in like - two hours. He had a feeling he’d be fucking kicking ass for the rest of the night! The quicker he finished his fights, the sooner he could see Grimmjow!

     About 1 hour and 45 minutes later, Nnoitra was strolling down the street, heading for Grimmjow’s little apartment. The night was a bit chilly, and Nnoitra made a mental note to dig out his coat from under the bed. That’s where he had put it, right? Mah, he could also buy a new one… He had the money now. He wasn’t some poor ass punk. He was, in fact, a pretty well-established adult now, wasn’t he? He had a job, a boyfriend, an apartment. He had traveled - wasn’t all of this on the ‘ adult check list ‘? Probably.

     The familiar sight of Grimmjow’s apartment ( and bar ) came into view, and Nnoitra picked up his pace. In less than a minute, he was over by the door. Bruised knuckles tapped not-so-lightly against the frame. In the stillness of the night, the sound was louder than Nnoitra had expected. Not a single noise came from inside the apartment. Had Grimmjow fallen asleep? It wasn’t that late! Or maybe it was for someone who worked normal hours? Nnoitra knocked again, just to be sure. He knew Grimmjow was a heavy sleeper, but hell, even he couldn’t sleep through that loud knocking sound, right? 

     ❝ Ey, Grimmjow? Ya in there? Ya sleepin’? What happened ‘ta missin’ me? ❞ A joke. Nnoitra realized he made it because the feeling that was slowly seeping through him was anxiety. An empty apartment gave him flashbacks to how his last relationship had ended. With him being abandoned. Was that happening AGAIN?! No, no, he was being stupid. There was no way Grimmjow would just leave like that. He was probably asleep, or maybe he had gone out to buy cigarettes, or maybe he’d gone to meet Nnoitra. Maybe they had passed each other. But the streets had been so empty…

     He decided to call Grimmjow, and ask him where he was. His phone was pulled up from his pocket, and he quickly found the other’s contact details, and pressed ‘ call ‘. A short moment passed, before he heard Grimmjow’s ringtone from behind the door. That idiot had gone out without bringing his phone? Just when they were going to meet up? Nnoitra tried to hold onto that theory, even if it was falling apart. What was he supposed to do now, just wait outside the door like an idiot? Should he go home? The door was probably locked—

     No, it wasn’t. With the door handle pressed down, Nnoitra could pull the door open, and look inside. The lighting in the room was dim. It was probably alright if he waited here. Grimmjow would be back soon. Nnoitra entered, and closed the door behind him. He would just chill in bed, that would be fine.

     OR NOT.

     Damn, Grimmjow really was a heavy sleeper! Because there he was, lying on the bed ( fully dressed for some reason ). Nnoitra walked over, with the intention of waking him up to jokingly ask him where the food was. But, as he approached, he realized that something was wrong. It looked like Grimmjow’s chest wasn’t even moving. Nnoitra knelt down for a better look, and that’s when he spotted the needle in the other’s hand. Despite never having seen a scene like this before ( in real life anyway ), Nnoitra quickly put together what had happened.

     ❝ Grimmjow! ❞ He grabbed his boyfriend’s shoulder, shaking it almost violently to try to wake him up. The attempt had no effect. ❝ Wake up! Wake ‘da fuck up! ❞ Again, nothing happened. SHIT! Shit, shit, fuck — WHAT WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO!? He didn’t know what kind of drugs Grimmjow had taken, and even if he had known, that wouldn’t have helped. Was he even breathing? His chest wasn’t moving! Or was it? A bit? Nnoitra leaned in over Grimmjow, to try and feel his breath against his ear. Thankfully, he was breathing! But only just. He needed help! Nnoitra was not the help he needed. He needed some professional help. At least Nnoitra wasn’t too useless to know that he had to dial 911.

     So that’s exactly what he did.

     The call itself was almost a blur to Nnoitra. His hand was shaking while he held his phone up to his ear, and his voice was a mess of cracks and stutters, while he explained to the woman at the other end of the line what had happened. He didn’t even know the address so he tried to explain where the location was. This wasted time. Nnoitra didn’t know how urgent this all was, or what could happen to Grimmjow. With his vacant hand, he was clenching his boyfriend’s shirt, scared that if he let go, it would ALL be over.

     ❝ ‘S gonna be okay. ❞ Was he saying it to Grimmjow, or to himself? The apartment was silent again, now that the phone call had ended. Nnoitra almost wanted to hold his breath to listen for sirens in the distance. He was still holding onto Grimmjow’s shirt, hard enough for his hand to turn even paler than usual. If something happened to Grimmjow—

     Something HAD already happened to him! How the fuck could Nnoitra not have known that he was taking drugs? There was a chance that this was his first time, but the chances of that were slim. It was much more likely that Nnoitra had been too dense to notice! Then there was that inevitable thought: What if Grimmjow had done it on purpose? What if he had actually tried to kill himself? It was all Nnoitra’s fault. If he had noticed that something was wrong… If he’d just asked about stuff! He should’ve made sure that he was alright! Not just assume that he was! God he was so fucking selfish! ❝ Please, just be okay. ❞ Now, he was talking to Grimmjow. ❝ Please, please…’Da only thing that matters ‘s that yer okay. ❞ This wasn’t the time for Nnoitra to be selfish, and make this about himself. Grimmjow was the ONLY thing that mattered.

     It felt like a fucking eternity before the unmistakable sound of an ambulance cut through the eerie silence that had fallen upon the room. The only thing that had been heard before this was Nnoitra’s shallow, shaking breathing. He had to let go of Grimmjow now, to go outside and make sure that the ambulance stopped in the right place so that Grimmjow could get help as soon as possible. Reluctantly, he freed the grip on the other’s shirt, and his fingers ached.

     Once outside the door, he waved and yelled to get the ambulance to stop. It actually did work, and a whole team of medical staff soon rushed into the building. Nnoitra just did his best to not be in the way. He knew he’d done all he could, even if he really wanted to continue being by Grimmjow’s side. One of the paramedics asked Nnoitra a few, quick questions, which he did his best to answer. The whole scene was so hectic and rushed, and Nnoitra had the strange feeling of being left behind. Like he wasn’t supposed to be here, or like this was all MEANT to happen without him. How was he supposed to know that he was simply in a state of shock?

     The paramedics were all very professional, but, at the same time, they were friendly, and one of them made sure that Nnoitra got a spot in the ambulance, so that he could come with his ‘ friend ‘ to the hospital. The sirens were loud even from inside the car. Nnoitra had never been in an ambulance before, but didn’t think much of it. The thought that was on his mind, no matter how selfish it was, was the question: Had Grimmjow done it on purpose?