#[ lore ] ー a glimpse into the eyes of a lonely musician.

[lonecompose]

kanade + guilt. ( spoilers for the newest event under cut. )

kanade is always harboring some sort of guilt inside, whether she truly should or not. she often allows it to consume her, leading her to throw herself into composing, overworking herself to the point of collapsing in hopes of saving as many people as she can with her music. she is truly a remorseful soul, willing to sacrifice her own time and energy if it means that her music reaches others.

while most sources seem to indicate that her guilt started when her father fell into a coma, i feel like it started before that, when her mother fell ill. in the immiscible discord event, we see a flashback to kanade and her mother talking. it's noted that her mother puts her daughter's interests first, even when kanade wants to make her mom happy. i can definitely see that being a source of guilt whether or not she wants to admit it, especially as it's assumed that not long after that, her mother passed away due to her illness.

( not to get personal, but i too lost my mother due to an illness. i also felt an immense amount of guilt as a result of her passing, like i didn't do enough to "save her" even though i knew deep down that it was inevitable. i'm only bringing this up because it ties into why i feel like kanade's guilt started sooner than assumed. )

when her father overworked himself to the point of hospitalization, the stress jumbling his memories and giving him amnesia when he's not in a coma, the guilt only intensified in volume, nearly consuming the young girl. she threw herself into her music, determined to save as many people as possible, in order to "repent" for her inability to save her own family. but what she doesn't realize is that in order to save others, she has to save herself. and if it wasn't for her grandmother's insistence, as well as the existence of honami, kanade wouldn't be able to keep herself alive long enough to save anyone. she would have suffered the same fate as her own father.

kanade struggled with composing a song that would save mafuyu, and even when the latter runs away and starts living with her at the end of the most recent event, saying goodbye to my masked self, she still worries that she can't completely save her.

but the least she can do is give her a place to stay, right? after all, she can't exactly return home now. what else is she supposed to do in that situation?

edit: forgot to add this detail — during the new event, you can tell that kanade feels guilt towards the fact that she spoke to mafuyu's mother, that part of the reason mafumom is acting this way is because of her actions. she seems to tense up or even seem more saddened than usual in response to mafuyu's situation and definitely blames herself for all of it.

[lonecompose]

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