#[ just wanted to reblog there here too as a reminder of where i’ve been lately!

[cherubofthenight]

It really is that damn phone (a rant)

(written nov 18th, 2024)

I was in my bed-rotting, depressed, don’t know what to do with my life nor do I care era up until this morning. And I’m starting to think it’s the people around me bc as soon as I’m not at work, I’m suddenly the most productive person ever.

I’ve been on a mission to become that dream version of myself (which for me requires some physical effort on my part) and shifting and I realized- wait the diff between the dream ver of myself and my dr self only have like slight physical differences. But overall, same mindset, same boundaries, standards & morals. Same person on the inside.

So I thought why make a big deal out of this stuff? Why make a big deal out of being in your dr physically. Stay with me now. Like I try to think of things to do and how to behave and react to stay aligned with my desired self which.. I think I try too hard and it ultimately burns me out. So then I have no discipline to continue- just little sparks of motivation every once in a while.

I’ve realized I feel most at peace when I let things flow without trying too hard. Like when I journal or have inner monologues, sometimes I think—why not shift my awareness to my DR? And suddenly, it feels so natural. Lately, I’ve been focusing on just moving my awareness there instead of worrying about proof or the physical. It’s really just about letting myself tune in, no overthinking needed. Of course, this can still be tricky sometimes (I get sidetracked a lot), but that’s exactly why I started this blog—to explore and share the process as I go.

Anyways, back to the title. It’s that damn phone. THIS IS WHY I SAY GET HOBBIES. I came off Tumblr—I’m not on it as much as I used to be. I queue up my posts when I find something I want to share, then I just focus on me. That’s why I love meditation. Because meditation can be anything. What I just said about inner monologues? You don’t even have to call that meditation—I don’t, most of the time. It’s just about shifting your awareness, and that can happen in a moment. No need for a long process. Just a shift in focus, and suddenly, you’re right where you want to be. I only recently started to grasp that actually.

My last shifting attempt. I’m gonna put the video for what I did and I felt soo close to my dr (the one I had back then) and like it just in reach of my fingertips until it wasn’t. I panicked I freaked out, I lost all hope and inspiration and I had no discipline because I thought “oh shit what do I gotta do now? Do I have to do something now? How do I do this more? How do I get this feeling more? Like what.. what to do… um shit..” and I never got close to that dr ever again. And I hate methods so.. imagine how shocked I felt.

Shaysplanett on TikTok (@shaysplanet)

And then I never tried again, yk why? We get comfortable, we get distracted by the 3D and suddenly we’re forgetting we have desires and we wanna shift to different places

I used to hate reblogging a lot of LOA posts at a time because this community is just things we already know repeated over and over and over again. I also thought to myself.. hm.. what could I post (loa-related) on this blog? And I couldn’t come up with shit. Because it’s nothing new. Law of assumption is nothing new. It’s just recycled shit over and over put in different, pretty words so more people would understand it properly but I think we understand and we’re just not applying. But yet here I am making this post: saying what we know already (and I probably will keep doing that bc it’s how I remind myself)

yeah.

All of this to say what we’ve all heard a million times before: you don’t wanna be thinking too hard about your desire and then end up being consumed by negative thoughts of not having your desire. The more time you spend scrolling and reading about loa and shifting, the most pressure you put on yourself and you miss the one thing you have to do: change your assumption/move your awareness. If you come to the point that you’re spiraling, STOP. Take a breath. Remind yourself that everything is going to be great. Do something else.

(posting this bc i plan to actually take a break from tumblr and finally listen to myself. if you see posts, its bc they're queued. hopefully i actually take the break this time. ps i think im starting to move away from looking at shifting solely from a loa standpoint)

[winterrrnight]

secret admirer (rafe's pov)

PAIRING: high schooler!soft!rafe cameron x high schooler!fem!reader

SUMMARY: the reader has a secret admirer who drops letters, flowers and some other little souvenirs in their locker.

WARNINGS: so much lovesick rafe, fluff and fluff and fluff, extremely cute moments between the two

EDITH SPEAKS: and it's here!!! let's completely ignore the fact that it's been months since the original post :p please make sure you've read the original one first, because it's a bit more detailed and includes what rafe's letters say (you can find the original fic directly linked in my navigation or through the series masterlist!). I hope you all really enjoy this; this is a big piece of my heart in the form of writing 💓 please like and reblog and comment all your thoughts!!! 💘💘

navigation || requests || join my taglist || series masterlist

I walk in the school gates after my soccer practice, still in my sweaty clothes from the intense training. I look at the lockers on my left, carefully seeing the numbers on each of them so I don’t miss the one I’m looking for.

I finally find the one I’m looking for. Through one of the three little slits in the middle of the locker, I slide in my envelope. It has a letter and a little daisy in it. She’s like one; so delicate that I want to protect her from the whole world and only want her to be mine.

Because I do. She comes in my dreams every night, where she so delicately holds my hands and kisses my skin. I feel so lightweight that I will just melt right in her touch.

I look around the hallway, making sure no one sees me. When I notice no one, I take in a deep breath of relief and walk out of the school.

She needs to know how much she means to me. She needs to see how much I appreciate her.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

I now try to send in an envelope as often as I can. I send one in every few days, and try to mix it around with the little souvenir that accompanies the letter. So far, I’ve sent her flowers, chocolates, and a small bracelet which I made for her.

But today, I woke up so late, I had to miss my soccer practice. My clothes aren’t on properly, and I didn’t even have any time to do something to my hair. I look like I just rolled out of the bed.

I have to be so discreet each time I put in the letter in the locker. I don’t want anyone catching me. That’s all I am: her secret admirer. The one who admires her from afar. The one who sends her little letters to remind her how beautiful she is, and how she deserves the whole world.

I have put in the letter without anyone noticing. I’m now standing right behind the turn of the hallway, where I have a clear look of her. She’s opening her locker. I notice a bright smile on her face when she sees the letter.

Suddenly, the bell rings, cutting through my thoughts. I notice her cursing and rushing to the class, the unopened letter in her bag. I have the same class as her: it’s English and there’s no way our teacher will let us in the class.

I rush to the class too, and by the time I reach, she’s already at the door, the teacher giving her an earful. Just as I stand right behind her, our teacher notices me.

“Oh looks like we have another late comer,” He says, glaring at me. She realizes my presence, and turns around to look at me. We make brief eye contact, and I feel my cheeks heat up. We’re standing close to each other, so close that I can hear her breathing.

“I’m so sorry, I swear I set an alarm but it didn’t ring and-” I start to ramble, but the teacher cuts me off.

“DETENTION! Both of you!” He suddenly yells at the two of us. I watch her flinch, and just for a second, I have the urge of breaking the teacher’s face. He signs two detention slips and hands those to us, and then he dismisses us by closing the door on our faces.

She looks down at the slip at her hand. She hates getting detention. She’s the nice, intelligent student of our grade, and she tries to stay out of detention as much as she can.

She looks up to me and we make brief eye contact again. Oh her eyes. I find myself drowning in them each time I see her.

“Shall we go?” I ask her, wanting her to look at me with those beautiful eyes of hers. But she doesn't lift her head up, and only gives me a nod. We both start to make our way to the detention classroom.

When we reach inside, we only see our PE teacher sitting. He’s too busy reading his magazine and doesn’t realize we both have walked in until we sit down.

“Just two of you?” He looks at us, and she nods in response. “Well that's going to be a waste of my time.” He shuts his magazine close and leaves it on the desk, starting to make a beeline for the door.

“I’ll be here in an hour to let you both out. Don't do anything dumb, you're being watched.” He says and quickly leaves the room, me and her being all alone.

A silence wraps around the two of us, and it feels very serene. I pull out one of my books to read, but I falter at keeping my focus on the words because of her sitting next to me. I can’t help but steal a glance of her after every few seconds, and I swear with each passing second, she just gets more beautiful.

When she opens her bag, she pulls out the letter. I intake a sharp breath, and watch her open the envelope and read the words written on them. A smile graces her lips as her eyes wander over the words, and I feel my heart skip a beat.

“What’s that?” The words leave my mouth so quickly, I don’t realize I’ve spoken them. She snaps her head towards me.

“Nothing,” she says, focussing on folding the paper back again and putting it back in the envelope.

“Looks like a love letter, someone's been writing you love letters?” I pose the question, wanting not to show I’m the one who wrote it.

“Maybe?”

Why is she not as happy as I thought she would be?

“What do you mean, maybe?”

She sighs. “I’ve been receiving these letters which have poetry in French written in them. They usually come along with a little gift, like a small flower or some chocolate. But, there’s no name on the paper whatsoever, so I have no way of knowing who it is, if it’s legit or if someone is playing a prank on me.”

“I don’t think it’s a prank, you know.” She looks back at me, her eyes wide as they sink into mine.

“You don’t?”

“Someone maybe likes you a lot, and is, I don’t know, scared to admit it to you.” I say, shaking my head.

“But, why do you think it’s not a prank? And how are you so sure it is an actual love letter?”

I feel myself almost starting to get riled up; angry because why does she refuse to accept something like that?

“Why is it so hard for you to believe that it can be an actual love letter? That someone actually likes you a lot? You're an amazing person, don't decline the thought of someone being your admirer so easily.” I blurt out, and just the second I finish speaking, I realize I’ve said too much.

I look away from her the next instant, and try to direct all my focus on my work, ignoring the heat rising in my cheeks.

I hear her whisper a small thank you, and as much as I try not to, I steal a small glance at her, her head bent down as she's looking over her school work.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

With the incident at the detention, I decide I have to send her letters every single day, with more gifts in them, my love hidden in each one of them safely, but surely.

I see her opening her locker and finding the letter. I included a daisy chain which I learnt how to make from Sarah, more chocolates and two new bracelets.

I had to stay up overnight to finish making the chain and the bracelets, but it’s all worth it.

It’s for her.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

It was one of the first days of last summer, when I was biking around, waiting for some of my friends to meet up with me. They all had decided to meet up at a new place which I had never been to. Taking different roads and turns, I found myself in unfamiliar areas of the island.

As I continued to bike, I found a big field which I didn’t even know existed. Curious, I got off my bike and went inside the field, and found out it’s actually a huge strawberry field. Strawberries were growing on low lying plants, a bright red color making them pop out from the green of the leaves.

I was completely amazed by them. I followed their path to find a huge opening in the field with a huge tree in the middle. But before I could take any steps further, I saw her sitting under the shade of the tree, protecting herself from the bright summer sun as she was eating the strawberries. She looked so serene; sitting cross legged and biting into those strawberries, sighing as their sweet taste completely encompassed her.

Since then I always see her going on the little road which leads to the huge field, biking her way to it. Now that strawberries are back in season, I have decided to put some of those in her letter next time, and even spend some time there as I try to write some new letters to her.

I decide to go around at least 2 hours before her usual time, so she doesn't see me there at all. With my notepad, my fountain pen, ink bottle and my basket, I find myself in the strawberry field again, taking a deep breath to inhale the sweet smelling air surrounding me.

I sit under the tree, taking my notepad and my pen to begin writing, but, much to my dismay, I don't feel inspired and no words come to my help to write something. Even with a big inspiration right in front of me, I just can't think of something to write.

Frustrated, I leave my notepad under the tree and decide to gather some strawberries. I make my way in between the plants, trying to pluck only the ripest of the ripe strawberries.

Having to walk around in the dirt for so long results in dirt over my face and my clothes, but that doesn't matter to me.

“Just a few more,” I whisper, bending down at one of the bunches of strawberries to pluck them. I look at my basket, which is quite full, but I know I can get some more.

I find myself satisfied with my collection as I look at my full basket. The strawberries shine under the evening shade of the sun, the golden rays making them glow.

I start to walk back out to the tree, but just as I come back out, I spot her looking at me.

Oh shit.

I spent way too much time than I intended and now she's here.

“Oh, hey,” I say awkwardly, as she looks back at me with the same confusion as me.

“I didn’t expect to see you here, what are you doing here?” She questions me.

I can’t tell her why I’m here. I have to make something up.

"Nothing, just... just getting some of these strawberries. I've heard they're really good," I say, walking towards her. I try my best to exude confidence, to show her I’m firm in what I’m pretending to do here.

“How did you... how did you find out about this place? I come here almost every single day and I never see you here. Why suddenly today?”

I see it.

I see the hunger to know everything in her eyes.

I know she has seen my notepad and my pen, just lying there under the shade of the tree.

I know she suspected it when I said too much during the detention. She's set on knowing the truth about everything, about me being the one who drops little words of love in her locker each day, and proving her own assumptions right.

I'm standing silently in front of her, trying to find the right words to start with, and she's looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to start speaking.

“Why do you have that notepad with you, with that fountain pen?” She prompts.

We’ve come too far.

It’s time I tell it all to her.

“For you. It's all for you. It's all always been for you.” I whisper. “These,” I say, motioning to the basket in my hands, “these are for you too.”

"But... why me?” She mutters, her eyes directed towards everywhere but at me.

"Because," I walk closer to her, and with all the confidence in me, I place my finger under her chin and gently push it up so she can only look at me. I feel my hand almost shaking from getting to touch her. “I want you to know how special you are. You deserve nothing but love, and this is just me showing you that.” I move my hand towards her cheek, placing it comfortably. When I see she doesn't show any signs of discomfort, I feel myself starting to get relaxed, my heartbeat taking control over its speed. I feel her cheek radiate heat through my hand.

“But-” she starts, but I cut her off.

“No buts. I told you this before too, why are you not willing to believe that you are so worthy of being loved and appreciated? That there is someone who’s ready to do this all for you, but that wouldn’t be special now, would it? That’s what everyone does. And then my purpose of showing you that I’m not like everyone else and how I will shower you with love every single second of my life is defeated. I will bring you the moon, all you have to do is just ask.”

I say it.

I say it all in a single breath.

Every single emotion I experience when I see her is out in the open for her to see. I feel vulnerable, as if my protective top layer has been scratched away, but not roughly. It’s peeled off carefully, like we peel an orange for a loved one.

But for some reason, she doesn’t seem completely satisfied with all I have to say.

“Why me?”

I sigh, knowing we're both about to take a trip down memory lane.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

I was playing in the sand all by myself, trying my best to make a castle out of it, but my attempts failed me. I was bored; sitting all alone in the sand pit with no one with me. I watched everyone else in the playground, running and laughing with their friends, while I was left all alone.

My attention was directed towards the swings, and a huge smile graced my face when I saw it was empty. It was nearly never empty, always being hogged by the rest of the kindergarteners. I rushed to it and sat on one of them, starting to swing back and forth.

I had just started to enjoy the swing, when a huge group of bullies made its way towards me.

“Hey, give us the swing!” Greg, their leader, demanded. I felt myself getting scared, almost trembling, but I didn't want to give the bullies the satisfaction that they had made me scared.

“No!” I said, tightening my grip on the swings and trying to glare at them; to show they didn't scare me. But that only seemed to anger Greg more, because with just one motion of his head, all of his friends charged towards me. They pulled me away from my swing and threw me on the ground with a loud thud, and I screamed at the pain inflicted to me. I started crying as I helped myself up with all my strength to see Greg laughing at me as he sat on his swing.

I felt lost. No teacher came up to help me, despite there being many in the playground to oversee everything. I sat up properly, sniffling, and I noticed my bruises covering my knees.

But suddenly, I felt the sunlight being blocked in front of me, and I looked up to see you.

You were standing in front of me, a gentle smile on your face as you let out your hand for me. My eyes were wide seeing you being so gentle towards me. I took your hand and you pulled me up, and led me to your teacher in your classroom.

I remember her being shocked at my condition. She took me away from you and started to apply an antiseptic on my knees, which spread a burning sensation. I whined at the feeling, wanting it to end at that instant.

She very carefully applied band aids on my wounds, and gave me a little pat on my cheek, and called me a ‘strong boy’. She left me, and you came in just the next second, taking me to your table in the classroom.

I saw you curiously as you opened up your bag and rummaged through it. You pulled out a lollipop, and handed it to me.

“You are so brave,” you said, and I felt my heart racing at your comment.

“Thank you,” I said, taking the lollipop from your hand.

It was strawberry flavored.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

“From that day, I've never stopped looking at you. As we grew older, I knew you were the one I wanted to be with, and I wanted to reciprocate all that you've done for me. It's not just the lollipop, throughout all the years you've been there for me when no one else was, I just don't want you to think that your efforts go unappreciated.” I finish.

She's looking at me with wide eyes, her breathing getting heavier.

She knows why she means the whole universe to me.

She knows why I would travel to the other side of the world to get her her favorite kind of flowers.

“Rafe,” she starts, but tears start to blur her eyes. I move my thumbs to her cheeks to quickly wipe them off, before they fall off her face.

“This is nothing compared to what you've done for me, those chocolates, little verses of poetry, bracelets, they don't amount to the things you've done for me in any way. But I just want to show you how amazing you are, and how you deserve the nicest things in the world.” I whisper.

Before I can process what is happening, her lips are pressed against mine, my eyes shut close as I feel her so close to me. My lips move against hers gently, and I feel her pull me closer to her with her arms around my neck.

She pulls away and gently rests her forehead against mine. My eyes are still shut, and I'm afraid if I'll open them up, I'll wake up from the most serene dream I've ever had.

"Je t'aime. Aujourd'hui. Ce soir. Demain. Pour toujours. Su je vivais mille ans, he t'appartiendrais pour tous. Si je vivais mille vies, je te ferais mienne dans chaacune d'elles." I whisper, taking in a deep breath to let the moment settle in me.

“I love you. Today. Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever. If I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. If I were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one.”

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @tahliac11 @sadfury @newsies-pape-girl @jamesbuckybarneswify @xxxlaura @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @callsignwidow

[arcane-vagabond]

I’m so glad you’re calling this out! People don’t respect boundaries and were made to look like the villains.

Tbh, I deleted the post you’re talking about after some confusion. I don’t think I worded some of it correctly, so I’ll rewrite it here.

I love supporting my friends and their fics. I love chatting with the fellow content creators one on one about their fics. I love talking about new ideas about the fics they want to write. When I reblog a fic with something along the lines of “Ah!! I’m so excited you’ve finally posted this! I’ve been waiting!!” It’s not because they mentioned it once on their blog, it’s literally because I have been talking to them in private chats about the work.

When someone I don’t really talk to or have never had a conversation with apart from the occasional one sentence reblog or comment starts tagging me in things? That’s where I have an issue. My blog is not a bulletin board or ad space for people to put their fics on. I try to reblog fics that don’t have very many notes, I really do (I’ve also been going through a bit of a reader’s block lately). I remember what it was like first starting out on this site as a first time fic author and being so excited to get ten notes on my fic. Now I’m nearing a milestone! I did that by tagging my fics with the proper hashtags and interacting with people who chose to read them. I never in a million years thought so many of you would want to read my silly little stories.

So believe me when I say, I totally get feeling wanting more people to see your fics. I wish more people saw mine too, but I’m very grateful for the people who stumble upon them and take the time to read them.

I also think it’s very interesting that when authors and other content creators on here set boundaries, we get such immense flashback from readers. We’re people, y’all, and the fact that we have to keep reminding everyone about that fact is, quite frankly, worrisome. We are not machines. We do not do this for a living. I do this for fun, and when I get push back for trying to set a boundary, whatever that boundary may be, it makes this less fun.

Again, I can’t speak for the other writers on there (but believe me when I say several conversations have been had), but for me personally? It all goes back to the fact that content creators are being stripped of their humanity. I remember how fun and interactive fandom used to be before everything started being monetized. I used to get asks left and right without even having written fanfic! Fandom used to be a huge community filled with laughter and debates like “did these two characters bang?” “That character is asexual and here’s why” “I wrote a fic that I think you might like and here’s the link. No pressure to read it though!”, not “here’s another update. Here’s another update.” “You haven’t posted in a couple of days, when are we getting an update?” “Will you read this and reblog it?”

Idk, I had this conversation the other day, and maybe I just need to accept the fact that fandom as I knew it is dead and gone. In another life, I would have really loved giggling about fics and headcanons with you all.

Anyway, can we please stop making content creators out to be the villains when they ask to be treated like human beings and not soulless machines?

[monstersandmaw]

Ghostiiiiiiiii! It’s time for your random ask of kindness~

Your stories and posts are the only reason I open tumblr at all these days, they are all so detailed and unique and each one leaves me with such a distinct feeling (be that warmth, comfort, fondness etc). I can’t count the number of times I’ve read and reread your works. They consistently help to pull me out of whatever depressed funk I manage to get myself into.

You really go all out when you come up with the characters feelings and descriptions of the setting/plot. It plays out like a movie in my head, which is the best fucking thing ever! I’m seriously and eagerly waiting for the day that you publish your writing so I can tell my friends and order a physical copy to put on my bookshelf.

I feel like lately (and maybe this has always been the case and we’re just seeing a few) you’ve been getting an influx of nasty or entitled people in your inbox.. and you’re brilliant at dealing with them but I just would like to remind you that for every uncouth dickhead there are 10+ others who love and appreciate your work and all you do for us. We love seeing you get excited about stories, reblogging DA content/funny meme shitposts and sharing your really cool hobbies (seriously, chain mail is badass and I’ve always wanted to try making it).

I hope this message will at the very least make you smile- you deserve every kindness. You are amazing 💕

(P.S. don’t forget to drink some water, stretch and make sure you take breaks!)

-🇦🇺 (it’s good to be back)

Excuse me while I just scrape my gooey, ectoplasmic heart back up off the floor where it melted into a soft and wibbly puddle after reading this!!! What a beautiful message!!! Thank you.

I realise you didn't ask for advice on mail making, but if you do decide to have a go, the best weaves to start with are the classic 'chainmail' pattern of 4-in-1 (sometimes called European 4-in-1), and 'Byzantine'. I'm not on Facebook anymore but there used to be a really good and truly massive group dedicated to chainmaille (that's how jewellery folks like to spell it), which had some great resources for beginners. The website linked here has some fabulous info and tutorials (especially for beginners), and I'd recommend learning about aspect ratio (AR) so you can make weaves in whatever size you like. Lemme know if you actually want any info or help because I'd be very happy to tell you more if you like. (I know of this supplier for Aussies but have never used them myself for obvious geographical and shipping reasons).

As for actual physical book stuff, hopefully I'll publish Gabe & Odessa properly, and perhaps the fae story I'm working away on in the background (that, or the reworked 'Winter Solstice' story I started ages ago). We'll see, but it's always so reassuring to hear that people would be interested in buying something like that!! Thank you.

I just had two truly enormous mugs of tea, and I went for a walk earlier with Mr. Ghosti because it finally stopped raining for a couple of hours, so I've had a good break!.

You take care of yourself too, dear Aussie Anon, and thanks for sticking around and for taking the time out of your day (night?) to leave me this!

[dyketennant]

okay re: post i just reblogged, it’s reminding me how other people i know don’t drink nearly as much water as i do (though perhaps sometimes they should since i live in one of if not the hottest cities in the u.s., been a while since i checked it) because i’m on ssri’s and thus get dehydrated way more easily. and because of that i don’t think people realize how stressful it can be to get water sometimes.

i went to a convention back in late may. here, temperatures already get up into the triple digits. and let me tell you, it was unnecessarily hard to find water once i was actually inside the convention. i think there were one or two big water coolers outside, but most people are gonna be inside because obviously it’s sunny and scolding hot outside, plus everything is happening inside anyways.

anyways, once inside, water bottles were like. $5 for a little 16-oz thing, which really isn’t going to last me long if i’m someone on ssri’s walking around in full cosplay. even then every food stand was usually a long line, which meant standing and waiting to even pay for the overpriced bottled water. if i wanted to refill my water bottle, i had to go find a little drinking fountain (they didn’t have those fountains specifically designed to refill water bottles, for some reason, in the year of our lord 2024), which were not labeled on the map or by any signage and were only located next to some of the restrooms, not all of them. and it’s a massive convention hall, too, meaning lots of walking between locations to even find water to begin with.

i cannot stress this enough: if you are hosting a convention in the hottest city in the U.S., where every year dozens if not hundreds or THOUSANDS of people die/are hospitalized from overheating and dehydration, and this is a fan convention where you know people are going to be wearing heavy costumes/layers, finding water needs to be the easiest thing on the planet. there needs to be water refill stations on every corner. people should be handing out free water bottles as i walk into the building. i should be running into so many places to get water it starts to get annoying, because the alternative is people passing out and needing first aid/urgent care at your extremely packed and busy convention, which clearly makes a fuck ton of money and should have solved this problem years ago. it’s genuinely embarrassing and inhumane to profit off of people’s need for drinking water like they do.

and this is just one specific example of this. do you know how many times i’ve been traveling/on vacation and have to spend a good amount of time on a trip worrying about where i’ll be able to fill up my water bottle? and i’m speaking from a fairly privileged position—what about unhoused people, or disabled people who physically can’t walk around and search for water like i can?

tl;dr it needs to be way easier to access clean drinking water when in public than it currently is and i’m bitter :)

[lalunanymph]

‗ ❍ your uni-mate has a fascinating hobby and you couldn’t resist his invitation to follow him back home and see for yourself. except, it’s way worse than what you imagined. ┊ megumi x fem!reader

‗ ❍ EXTREMELY DARK CONTENT, hypnosis, noncon, blowjobs, facials, recording, humiliation, degradation, name calling (slut, baby), dacryphilia ┊3,874 words

‗ ❍ the final installment is here!! thank you sm for reading my kinktober works it was super fun drafting them up and hearing all your thoughts on it <;3 reblogs and feedback are much appreciated ┊ dawn's kinktober 2022 masterlist

University was the bane of your existence. 

You were convinced it existed for the sole purpose to torture you into submission; prime you for the working world where personal free time was slim and you had to sell half your soul for the promise of a respite to a corporation that would replace you in a heartbeat if you dropped dead.

It was partly why you had slacked off despite gaining a scholarship. You were just too damn tired to do anything but sit at the back of the lecture hall, daydreaming your life away while you scraped by with meager grades. 

However, as much as you wanted to deny that you were doing just fine, your supervisor had a different insight.

“Y/N, I need to speak to you.”

Sitting up straighter, you shot her an insincere grin. “Oh. Sure.” 

Ms. Yoko—also known as the resident bachelorette who was too attractive for her own good—flashed you a grimace, her pretty brown eyes glossing over with a veneer of neutrality. It hid the flitting emotions well, though you were versed in constantly walking on eggshells around people who were tense, courtesy of your explosive father and passive mother.

“I wanted to ask you how was everything.”

Her office was far too clean. Clinical. 

Neat-freak. 

The names you called her in your head were drowned out by the wave of resentment at those flashing pretty orbs staring at you in sympathy. A picture frame holding two grinning expressions filled with love shone from her desk, and you regarded them with cool distaste. Love made you sick to the bone. 

You hated any reminder of it.

From the opposite end of the desk, her gleam of sincerity never diminished. “Y/N, are you having family problems? Boy problems—sorry, girl ones, too? You know you can talk to me.”

You flitted your gaze towards her, antipathy coating your smile. “I’m fine, Ms. Yoko. Just a bit tired.” A brilliant lie came to you. “I pull shifts at the local bar and I’ve been a little burnt out. But, give me some time and I’ll be back on track.”

Her rose-blush lips tightened into a grimace. “I’m afraid it’s a little too late for that.” 

Disquiet surrounded the office. You were on high alert. “I’ve been informed by the Chancellor’s assistant that any student whose grades are suffering—especially if they are scholarship students—will have their aide retracted if their grades slip down below the 3.5 mark. And you’re inching towards a 3.45.” 

You swallowed your tirade, flashing her a smile. “Ms. Yoko, is there anything I can do to salvage my scholarship?”

She laced her manicured fingers together, grimacing. “I could put you back on probation until your grades pick up, or…” the pretty lecturer petered off as if deep in thought. “I could have you paired up with another Dean’s List student to make sure he or she keeps you right on track.” 

Inwardly, your groan resounded with such tiredness, you stunned yourself for a good few seconds. On the outside, you plastered on an amicable smile. “Of course. I will accept any help that I can get.”

Ms. Yoko’s shoulders unlocked and she leaned forward, a smile in place. “I have just the right person for you.” Her sincerity was scary, and it rubbed you the wrong way when she briefly pressed a hand to your shoulder. “I believe the both of you will work so well together. Trust me on this. Megumi is a good student and he’s a great teacher, too.”

Fushiguro Megumi.

Or, as you knew him, Mr. Know It All. He was insufferable as he was quiet, always with his wild array of inky locks down, nose buried in a book. Megumi was one of the top students in your university which said a lot considering the entrance exam itself had a failure rate of 68%. 

You were sure he was here not because of his delicate good looks or piercing blue eyes. But, you liked to pretend it was due to them that he was currently sitting opposite of you, eyebrow raised and pouty lips twisted into a frown.

“Ms. Yoko wants me to do what?” 

Look, the whole ordeal was as embarrassing for you as it was for him. But, why did his churlish nature make it feel like you were the one who had to carry the burden of shame solely on your shoulders? You fixed him with a mirrored pout.

“Tutor me.”

The words were hard to mutter. They tasted like poison in the back of your throat. 

You looked away when he did, both your quiet natures contrasting despite how rooted in similarity they were. 

“Are you truly that bad in your studies?” He poised it in a worrying tone, but you could hear the condescending sneer underneath it. 

“I’m sure—” you bit out, “—it’s because this whole semester is harder for me. Which is why she’s kindly asking you to help me out.”

He folded his arms, drawing attention to his lean muscles from the sleeves of his crew neck shirt hiking up. A moment of sullen silence passed between the both of you—two unwilling individuals who were stubborn enough to not back down from the distaste and humiliation of finding themselves locked in forced proximity to work together.

You always did find Fushiguro Megumi weird.

From his feminine sounding name to those comically large headphones that blocked out the world, he was as elusive and edgy as a self-proclaimed ‘outcast’ would be. Nevermind that his good looks would ensure he was accepted in whatever friendship circle he put his mind into breaching.

But, he was always alone. Never without his headphones, laptop and backpack. 

You were close to wondering if he even had any friends in the first place beyond a bubbly pink-haired stoner called Yuuji and Nobara, a cheerleader who was once caught by officials for carrying coke in the seat of her her thong during a frat party.

Neither of them were around him for much of the day, and you wondered just why he never reached out to speak to anyone.

If people were to ask you whether you had a crush on the elusive Fushiguro Megumi, you would’ve stabbed them with a blunt fork. The nerve of some of them to be right.

Since the first day you arrived for freshmen year, full of vitality and hopes of finding a place to belong, you had noticed Meguni and subconsciously tried getting closed to him. With your efforts failing at best, and humiliating you at worst. 

Megumi was someone not to be trifled with, and you recalled with aching clarity when he dismissed you with a hard glare that had you reeling when you tried to ask him how his weekend went. After that, he was dead to you as much as you were a stranger to him.

Until now, that is.

“Fine,” he mumbled, rubbing his forehead. His glare did not budge. “Meet me here tomorrow. I’ll walk you through anything you’re not sure of.”

A good start. Despite beginning on a wrong foot with him, Megumi was willing to put the past behind if you were, too. And you wanted to forget about the less than ideal moment you had first met him, preferring to switch up with a small smile and a nod. 

“Thanks, Fushiguro.”

He paused, turning his head slightly to the side to give you a look. 

“No problem.”

It was, indeed, a huge problem. 

You really did have honest intentions of befriending Megumi again after that disastrous first time you met him during freshman year. 

But, it seemed that no matter how many times you tried to extend the olive branch of piece, he would dismiss it with a roll of his eyes or a frown, telling you without words that if it were not for Ms. Yoko pairing the two of you together, he wouldn’t even speak to you in the first place. 

You were both seated in the common area, heads bent low, studying when his phone flashed. 

A quick glance at the dim screen had you scrunching your brow. Time to cleanse.

Mutely, you watched as he picked up his earphones and leaned back into the comfortable sofa, eye closed as his head tipped back and he started bobbing along to the music only he could hear. You waited for him to be done, politely averting your eyes. What a weirdo.

He set the headphones back down, and gave your curious stare a flippant one. 

“Yes?” 

The testiness in his tone should’ve told you volumes to not try his patience, but you couldn’t resist. Fushiguro was an enigma that you wanted to uncover. 

“What was that all about?” You gestured to his earphones.

Megumi didn’t answer you as much as he stunned you. He lifted the earcups and set it around your head. Silence filled you, and then, the lilt of a piano tinkering in the background started, calming and sweet. 

You felt your muscles relaxing, shoulders no longer hiked up to your ears from the stress of figuring out permutations and calculations.

He let you listen to the tinkling melody for a few more seconds, and the music ended the same moment your little study session was over. You tried not to let the disappointment crash into you, and swallowed down on a remark that the lovely music was over far too soon in favour of snorting.

“Time to cleanse?”

“I get stressed out sometimes and need to use music as a distraction,” he murmured.

Fair enough. Music did have the ability to touch parts of the brain our consciousness could not perceive.

You picked up your books and shut your laptop. “How’re you feeling about the test tomorrow?”

In typical Megumi fashion, he tilted his head to the side, verdant green eyes unreadable as he flickered them listlessly to your waiting ones.

“Should be a breeze.”

The next few days passed the same way. You would wrap up your classes, meet Megumi in the common room, and then spend hours bantering back and forth on the intricacies of formulas while his aloof countenance never wavered. It titillated you to some end. Megumi never gave into any of your teasing wiles or flirtatious innuendos, preferring to eye you over his calculus assignment with his brow raised.

Everyday, the same reminder would go off—time to cleanse—and he would lean back, nodding along to the soothing piano music and letting you listen in, too. 

One time, you asked him why he did that, and he looked you in the eye, his brow raised, and deadpanned, “Because I’m hypnotising you.”

You had laughed at what he said, and shook your head. Don’t fucking pull my leg, Fushiguro. 

Exam season was coming up, and you were doubling down on your efforts to pass your semester when Megumi made an odd request. “Come over to my apartment.” The other boy lived alone, and as far as you could tell, he was often far from campus, holed up in his shitty space. 

Throughout the whole time you both spent together, whenever Megumi would speak at length, it was about how easy it was for the mind to be brainwashed. “I’ve even tried it,” he murmured, toying with his headphone charging cable, his long lashes casting shadows across his cheeks. “Suprisingly easy to get someone to bend to your will. The government has been doing it for years.” 

“Are you fucking around right now?” you narrowed your eyes. “What’s with you and brainwashing? Doesn’t seem ethical or even real.”

“I could show you.” There was an implicit undertone of challenge in his words. Come and find out if you dare.  

It was your turn to raise a brow. “Is this your way of asking me out on a date?” 

Real subtle. The corners of his lips twitched.

“Only if you don’t bolt when I start showing you how this all works.” 

You extended your hand, bold in your declaration of fearlessness, despite how your heartbeat picked up at the thought of spending your day with Megumi in an enclosed space. It was a good thing he could not hear how loud your thoughts were rebounding and took your hand, gingerly pumping it once. 

“You have a deal, Fushiguro.”

The ambiguity of your relationship with Megumi thrilled you to no end. 

Despite how much you told yourself you were over men who did not feel the same way as you, or that you were done chasing the promise of a high in the form of their reciprocation, you could not help but feel that Megumi was just a little shy and needed to be coaxed out from his shell.

You’ve seen the way he looked at you—half mast dark green eyes sparking heat straight to your core. He would smile in your direction when he thought you did not notice, and sometimes, would even pick up your favourite order from your neighbourhood cafe when you were both burning the midnight oil.

Megumi did have a thing for you. And you were so damn sure he would admit to it tonight.

On his behest, you had arrived at eight on the dot, wearing a tank top, mid-length skirt and a nervous smile. You twisted a ring on your finger, the same one you had worn since the day your mother passed on, and stilled your nerves with a deep breath. 

Knocking on the chipped wood, you waited for a few seconds. Heavy footsteps sounded, and you were greeted by a familiar mop of disarrayed inky locks. Megumi looked like he had just stepped out from a shower, his skin faintly pink from the heat and a freshness to his otherwise sullen demeanour.

He quirked a half-smile, angling his body to the side and gesturing for you to enter.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you replied, stepping past him. 

“You look nice.”

You thanked him cordially and followed when he led you down the hallway, straight to a small kitchenette. Megumi had a pot of pasta on the stove, and two wine glasses were brimming with a rich, deep red, ready for you to sit and enjoy.

The both of you ate a light meal and drank til your vision started swimming at the edges. Halfway through the dinner, you realised he had taken your hand and was rubbing his thumb into the soft flesh of your wrist.

“Can I show you my basement?” 

Something about the way he poised that question made you crack a snort. “Okay, Dahmer. That’s not where I thought this was going.”

Megumi smirked, understanding your implications. “I thought I could bring you there first, if you don’t mind.”

You were too hazy on the wine to think your hesitation through. Nevermind that his apartment on the first floor led straight into a cool, dark basement with exposed wiring and a chilly draft that had you tightening his hoodie around your shivering form.

The space was cosy, despite the slight air of neglect, and it was because of the little corner he had set up with his PC and stack of books. “I come here sometimes to think.” 

A narrow window let in silver streams of light, and you watched in awe when he booted up the desktop and handed you his headphones. 

You gingerly took it from him, wondering if he was still adamant on keeping up this charade. He honestly didn’t have to, considering that you were already here, waiting and eager to get into his bed. There wasn’t a need to drag things out and try to impress you, not when you were standing in front of him, waiting to be taken.

But, he did not seem to understand the result of this chase like you did, and shot you a smirk. “Let’s see if you still doubt me.”

He placed the earphones over your head, and you waited. The quiet seemed even more unsettling now, and you could hear how ragged your breathing was.

Then, the piano notes started to play. 

You instantly felt a rush of calm, and your shoulders drooped, relaxing against your will. There was a difference to the cadence of the notes this time, a little more jagged and jaunty. Haunting. You were sure this wasn’t the same recording he played for you all the time in the study hall.

It unnerved you, almost made you bolt from where you stood, but his grip on your wrist held you still.

Give yourself to me, the notes seemed to sing. Give yourself up to me. 

You felt your fight sap out like a stream, every fibre of your being rooted to the spot, listening to those haunting words over and over again. Megumi’s hand moved from your wrist to rope around your waist, dragging you into the seat of his lap. 

Vividly, you recalled your eyes closing when warm stamps shaped like his lips touched the hollow of your throat, trailing down to your collarbones and in between your breasts. You were hopeless to do anything, your mind playing a singular loop of that jaunty tune and eerie words.

His hands were now underneath your skirt, removing your panties and tossing it to the ground. You were hopeless to stop him from kissing you, your pliant mouth opening on instinct and allowing his tongue to plunder in and take. Teeth clacking together, strings of spit that connected both your lips, your fuzzy mind was no longer in the front seat when you nibbled on his lower lip.

Megumi’s hips were rutting up into yours, and you gasped, the sound muffled over the audio. Your whimper was muted, too, when the crown of his cock started to grind against your sensitive clit. He touched your cheek, turning your face towards him to kiss down your jaw, the squelch of your sex audible even to your covered ears.

Slowly, you felt your defences start to fall, and Megumi could sense it, too. He removed the earphones from your head, letting it fall to the ground and a cold silence descended, wrapping you in its numb arms, like his embrace. 

From the glassiness in your eyes to your slightly parted lips, he could tell you weren’t at all there in your mind. Now, he could move on to the second part of his devious plan.

“Get on your knees, baby.”

Not even an iota of resistance was in you when you slid to the ground. 

“Take off your top and skirt.”

You followed his every word like a mindless slave, no thoughts in between your eyes. Strings of drool dripped down your chin, needy whines slipping out of your mouth. Completely cockdrunk even before he put his dick in you.

Megumi hummed in approval, using the tip of his toe to part in between your folds. “Your bra, too, slut.”

You complied in a rush, unclipping the pesky material and letting it melt off your ready body. He nudged you back onto the ground and your back met the cold floor, legs spread wide for him. 

“Look at you,” he breathed, inky bangs falling in his face. You whimpered when he started to stimulate your clit with his toe, slipping it in between your soaked seam, teasing the tight opening of your pussy by stretching it out with just the tip. 

No woman in their right mind would comply with being treated this way, and Megumi knew this. His perverse desires were the stuff of horrors that scared many a girlfriend away from his life, and when life gave one lemons, he had to improvise.

The binaural beats over piano tunes he played for you over the course of the weeks was laced with a sedated subliminal to get you pliant and ready for him. Trusting and not fighting him off when he invited you over and struck while the moment was fire-hot and ready.

“Suck me off.”

You got back onto your knees, glassy eyes making his dick twitch when you dragged the zipper down and started mouthing him over his underwear. Megumi was a lot thinner and longer than most men, and you struggled to take him down, gagging a little when the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat. 

“That’s it,” his half-lidded gaze was sparking with intensity at your mouthful of him. “Take me down like a good girl.”

His praise sparked something primal in you, and your jaw was starting to hurt, but you pushed it away for him. Pleasing Megumi was at the top of your agenda, and you swore nothing else in the world mattered but his approval. 

“Lookin’ so pretty on your knees,” he swore he was not a babbler, but something about your eagerness infused him with a dominant thrill he had never felt before. “I’m gonna make this moment last.”

By that, he meant removing his phone from his back pocket and starting the camera. The shine of his flashlight stung your eyes, making you wince. But, you did not stop sucking him off.

“Touch yourself,” Megumi’s voice was edged with desperation, his mind unrivaling from how easily you complied. “Show me how you touch that pretty pussy, slut.”

You dipped your fingers in between your soaked slit, nudging circles around your throbbing clit while deep throating him like it was nothing. The phone in his hand shook, stuttering the flashlight over your soaked mouth and shiny cheeks. 

“Cryin’ already for me?” 

“Mhm hmm,” you moaned around his cock, nodding your head. 

“So pretty.”

I need to cum. Your thoughts were laced with disbelief at how easily you succumbed to him; how little he had to do to get you taking him down while fucking your pussy with two trembling fingers. 

Megumi’s brow was pinched, his pretty lips parted and even prettier moans expelled from the depths of his chest.

“G’na cum,” he whispered harshly, and you were a marionette to his whims, bobbing your head up and down faster, the wet slicks of his cock hitting the back of your throat loud in the quiet. Coupled with his heavy breathing and low groans, you were sure your pussy was going to combust from the heat of his weighted stare and dense balls slapping your chin.

Megumi stilled your movements, tugging your hair back and you released him with an obscene pop. Using his free hand and the other with the phone camera still trained on you, he pumped his spit-coated length, a low groan tumbling from his swollen mouth as hot ropes of white landed on your parted lips.

The camera caught every lewd string, every twitch of his dick spurting out dribbles of white onto your willing face, your hazy eyes speaking volumes of how fucked out you looked.

He did not stop his humiliation, smearing his sticky and musky cum over your features, dipping his fingers into your waiting mouth for you to suck them clean.

“Good girl,” Megumi praised, cheeks tinted pink. He stopped the recording, his breaths evening out, while yours was still labored, your pussy aching for relief. 

“I think this will be the perfect video to send Ms. Yoko for your final report, don’t you think?”

Disclaimer: The content you consume is your responsibility. If you chose to read this story till the end and are currently triggered by it, your trauma response is none of my concern as adequate warnings were already put in place. That said, do leave a review and reblog this post if you liked it, thank you! ♥️

© all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy, repost my visuals, gifs or work and claim it as your own.

[jadedvibes]

In honor of spooky season, sweater weather, and all things autumn, I'm hosting my first writing challenge! I started writing nearly a year ago because I was inspired by the beauty of the season, and I thought why not organize something where others could join in and celebrate the many aspects that make this time the best.

For the challenge, I'd like you to incorporate some fall vibes and activities into a fic or moodboard. It can be anywhere from taking a stroll down a leafy street with your fictional fave, baking together, cozying up by the fire, wearing their flannel, visiting a pumpkin patch, or watching a scary movie; anything that reminds you of this enchanting time of year plus a little catch I’ll describe below 🍂🎃🧡

This writing challenge will open today and has no deadline.

Rules, guidelines, and optional prompts are under the cut! 

Rules: 

Must be 18+ or older. 

You don’t have to follow me to participate.

There is no deadline, follow your muse. 

No incest/pedophilia/necrophilia/bestiality/ddlg/water sports/💩

Please tag any and all potential triggers with proper warnings e.g. (Fluff, smut, dark etc.) 

Original works or must be able to be read as a standalone if it’s part of a series.

If you want to withdraw at any point, it’s no problem just lmk!

Guidelines:

There is no minimum or maximum word count.

If your fic is over 200 words please use the “read more” function.

You can write for any Marvel character, in universe or in any AU. I’ll also read for whatever SS and CE character you’re into except Jeff Gillooly and Tommy Lee. You may also write for Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson or a Top Gun: Maverick character. No RPF, please. Also no OFCs, reader inserts only.

Send me an ask letting me know that you want to participate, then tag me when you post and tag your fic or moodboard with #fallinginlovewritingchallenge 

And the catch that makes this a challenge is – the words “falling in love” MUST come up in your entry at least once if you’re writing. You can change it to past or present tense e.g. (“fell in love” or “fall in love”); whatever variation you need to fit the vibe you’re creating.♡

I will read and reblog your work before adding them to a masterlist!

And feel free to send me an ask or dm if you have any questions or if I can help you better understand the season. I'm so excited to see what you all come up with!

Please note that you don’t have to use the prompts and au’s, they’re just there for inspiration and more than one person can use the same one ✨

Prompts:

“You’re comfy.”

“I’ll be here to protect you.”

"Here we are, home sweet home."

“Stop flirting.”

“Are you sure?”

“Do you like what you see?”

"Let’s go somewhere, just you and me.

“Your hands are warm.”

“I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”

“I’ve been waiting all my life for you.”

“I know you still love me.”

“Fancy seeing you here. 

“I know what you need. Hold on.”

“I’m scared.”

“Are you… jealous?”

"Baby, I could do this all day."

“I can’t think straight with you.”

“Give me a chance.”

“Am I too late?”

“You’re dangerous.”

AU’s:

Vampire

Werewolf

Roommates

Coffee Shop

Florist

Baker

Bookstore

Soulmate

Modern

Neighbors

Thank you @bucky-barnes-diaries, @maladaptivexxdaydreaming, and @treatbuckywkisses for helping me, encouraging me, and listening to me ramble about my ideas!!

Tagging some pals that might be interested, but absolutely no pressure! ♡

@writing-for-marvel @summerofsnowflakes @tuiccim @sweetdreamsbuck @poppunksnowwhite @jobean12-blog @sunshinebuckybarnes @beach-daydreaming @weekendgothgirl @navybrat817 @mrsmischief209 @sgt-seabass @yarnforbrains @traitorjoelite @sweetascanbee @musingsinmoonlight @sanguineterrain @late-to-the-party-81 @sexyprise @intrepidacious

[itsamendesmadness]

Jacob Elordi x reader (female) part 3

Summary: Did y/n finally get that kiss?

Warnings: mature content🚩

WC: 789

a/n: i’m nervous for this one because it’s my first time writing this type of material. Also I changed my username to “itsamendesmadness”. I’ve been in the works of writing something for Shawn. As always, let your imagination fly. 🪶 (remember to reblog if you want to see more of this work)

The wind caresses your cheeks as you stare at the starry night. You begin to rethink your fear of heights, it turns out it’s not as bad as you thought or maybe it’s just that he makes you feel safe wrapped around his arms. You feel the warmth of his breath on your head as he exhales. You move your head from the peaceful soft harmonies and place it on his shoulders near his neck, trying to see if he would sneak in a kiss. “It’s so beautiful. This reminds me of the time I visited New York for the first time with my mom.” he says. You lift your head a little and say “how old were you?”. Jacob responds with a nostalgic smile on his face “eight”. You face him and respond “I would’ve been scared shitless being up there so young.” You mutter under your breath as you face out “I’m scared right now”. He cackles “sometimes you gotta appreciate beauty from a higher perspective”. You face him and respond “you can say that, you’re very tall”. You laugh unitedly and he plants his hand on your thigh. The pressure from his hand makes you want to do crazy things to him. You feel your cheeks turning hot.

The cab reaches the final stop. “Let’s go walk on the pier,” he says. He walks out first and extends his arm to help you get out. You made it safely to the earth's ground, you could kiss the floor right now. Now you can really concentrate and make most of the time you have left with him. He lets go of your hand and places it around your waist. You can feel his soft skin melting on yours. You can't even explain how good that makes you feel.

As you walk around the pier you start to become cold. “I’m gonna get my hoodie from my car”. You say to Jacob. “Where’s your car? We can go together. It’s too late for you to be walking alone.” he says persistently. “ I’m not that far. I’m right in front of The Green Cafe” you say.

“Here she is my beloved (y/c/n/n)”. You press the key once, open the back door and bend over the back seat to get your hoodie. It seemed to be stuck on something so you started pulling hard to get it out, moving your body back and forward. You could feel his piercing eyes on your ass. Jacob sees you struggling and reaches in to lend you a hand. “Let me help you” he says, almost kissing your ear. As you pull the hoodie your body collapses together. You could feel his hard member on your leg. He pulls back with the hoodie in his hand. “Here you go” he says, laughing and blushing. He puts the hoodie over your head and lifts your chin up leaning in for a kiss. You could feel butterflies talking over your body. He makes out with his warm lips as he pushes your body to the backseat. You place your hands softly on his face as he brings down his hand to your right leg. He stands close to your legs and starts opening them with his knee. You spread and scooch back a little so he can inspect you with no interruptions. He began to slide down your zipper slowly and looked up at you as he did so. He began to rub your bud, you could feel your walls clenching in pleasure. He slid two fingers and started feeling out your wet flaps. The movements started to increase feeling every muscle in your body react. You whined and groaned, throwing your head back on the head rest. Jacob looks at you with a proud smirk knowing you would surrender soon and fill his hand with cum. “Let go…Come on.” he said with his face moist with sweat. You move your hand and dig your nails on his unoccupied arm. Your legs begin to tremble and your eyes start rolling back in pleasure. With that your moans become louder and louder. His hands become completely wet with what’s seeping out of you. “Fuck, you squirted.” he said smirking proudly, as he takes his wet hand out of your pussy. Your entire face starts feeling as if it’s close to the sun and put your shaky hands covering your face feeling embarrassed. “Stop, come on.” he says as he retrieves your hands out of your red face and kisses your forehead. “ My hand is cramping up but it was totally worth it.” he says laughing just to tease you. You push him off you. “Shut up, jerk” you say, smiling at him.

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

chamomile, chapter ten

A/N: the gif in the moodboard is by @radioactive-creative-bug

summary: late night check in to see how the doctor is doing

warnings: references to 6x19, emo boi reid (someone please, I can't be the only one who just stared belting the Ayesha Erotica song💀), almost kiss, regency romance novel level yearning

word count: 873

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

masterlist | join my taglist

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Finishing up the last bit of your ginger ale, you walked determinately out of your hotel room and towards the doctor’s door. You couldn’t fight the fact anymore that this case was hitting too close to home for him. You hadn’t been the only one on the team who’d noticed. Everyone had been staring at him, watching him, and even Morgan had not so subtly had a talk with him in the bathroom. 

You had a vague idea of why it was getting to him. You had read his file and it did say a fair amount about his mom, who she was and what she was dealing with, so putting two and two together, you could see how this particular case was so difficult for him to get through. 

Softly, rhythmically, you knocked on his door and it didn’t take long for him to answer.

“Y/l/n, hey,” he greeted, sounding somewhat surprised at your presents. 

“Hi,” you flashed him a warm smile, “can I come in?”

“Um, sure,” he moved aside for you to enter.

“You’ve been quiet today,” he kept his vision low at your observation, staring at his shoes, “you have been quiet.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out and closed the door behind you.

Sitting down on the edge of his bed, you looked up at him, “Reid,” cocking your head to the side, “are you okay?”

“Did Morgan talk to you? Is that why you’re here?” he buried his hands in his pockets, “to check up on me?”

“No.” you shook your head and then let out a heavy sigh, “Reid, I’m here because I’m worried about you.” Scooting to the side a bit more, inviting him to sit down next to you, “do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Do you wanna talk about Prentiss?”

“No.” he took a seat next to you on the mattress, “I don’t want to talk.”

“Okay, then what do you want? What do you need? We don’t need to talk, we can just sit here in silence and just be.”

For a moment he just sat there, staring at you, no doubt making a pro-con list in his head on whether or not he should open up his mouth. “I-… ever since what happened to Emily,” he started slowly, “I feel like I have no control over anything in my life. I feel like everything is falling apart. Everything I touch crumbles and dies and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t sleep, I concentrate. I feel useless.”

“Reid, how could you feel useless? You sweep in and save the day on every single case. Without you, we wouldn’t catch a single unsub. You’re good at everything-”

“Not everything. Have you seen me out in the field?”

“You’re not that bad,” now that you think about it he was either as good or even a bit better than you were. 

“Yeah, but I’m not good. I should be good, I wanna be good.”

“You can be if you want. It’s just a skill like any other.” Then quietly added, “If you want, I could probably get you a key to the gun range.”

“You could?”

“Have you met the guys who work down there?” you turned your body to face him more, picking one leg up off the floor and onto the bed, “Bill is nothing compared to the reporters I have to deal with on a day to day, so yes, that would probably be the easiest thing I’ve done all month.”

“Thanks,” you physically saw some of the weight being lifted off his back, “really.”

“You’re welcome. Just promise that when you become Annie Oakley you’ll teach me all your ways,” you joked, nudging him playfully in the side.

“Deal,” he chuckled lightly, catching onto your hand, making it stop its light teasing.

Then came this moment, this second where everything was calm. Everything was good. He was just holding your hand, and everything seemed possible. Getting lost in his dark eyes felt inevitable. You couldn’t fight it, not in this moment. His thumb brushed over your knuckles, coaxing you in deeper. It wasn’t till you saw him move closer, that you were ripped out of the honeycomb fantasy and back into reality. The reality where you noticed just how bloodshot his eyes were. 

Things had just gotten good again. You couldn’t slip back. You couldn’t let him break your heart again. He was hurting a needed comfort, but in doing that you would just make his proclamation that much more correct. If he touched you again, you would surely crumble and die. Even if it would feel good for a moment, it wouldn’t last. You were his friend. He wouldn’t ever see you as anything more. 

So right before his lips could touch yours, you placed your hand on his chest and whispered, “Spencer.” 

Pausing, his eyes flickered up from their view of your mouth and looked into yours.

“We can’t,” your voice shook slightly. 

It looked like you’d just poured cold water over him because he immediately straightened up, “I’m sorry…” he removed his hand from yours, “I should probably go.”

“Spencer,” you called after him as he practically bolted out the door, “this is your room.”

next chapter

© 2022 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[marvelsbanner]

Part of a Team

Summary: Wanda is the newest Avengers recruit and she’s having a hard time finding her place in this new life- maybe she can find it in you?

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x y/n, you

Warnings: Brief mention of death and blood, minor language (if you squint theres kind of compromising situations? nothing outright sexual)

Word Count: ~2700

A/N: Reblogs, likes, and comments are VERY much appreciated, all mistakes are my own! xx 

**I don't own marvel and if I did Natasha would be alive**

Something was wrong. You were just in Strucker’s lab- just on the trail of one of the enhanced twins. The alarms were going off around you and your boots clanged on the metal floor- before you froze in your place, a red haze overtaking you and suddenly you were thrown into the daylight.

-

You felt tingles run through your veins and down your spine; your head throbbed. You felt vulnerable, seen. What the hell is going on-

You’re in the forest, you think. No- there are rocks. Big rocks-

Focus.

No, not rocks. Graves. Gravestones. Where the hell are you?

You drag your heavy feet over to the nearest, it takes a moment for your vision to focus.

Who’s grave? Who’s grave? Oh god.  No no no- this, this can’t be-

Natasha Romanoff.

You felt like throwing up. This couldn’t be real. You dragged yourself to another stone situated nearby: Clint Barton. Beloved husband, father, and friend.

It felt like you couldn't breathe, you were just there with them. You were just there.

Your body jerks as cold hands grab your shoulders and spin your body to face them-

Steve.

You throw your arms around his neck, “STEVE! Oh god Steve! You’re okay- you’re.. cold” you feel something wet and sticky on your hand, pulling it back and seeing red. So much red.

“Steve..” you quickly stumble back, tripping in the process. It’s then you see- it’s too late. His body was grey and lifeless. He falls onto his knees and then collapses totally. You scream and scramble backwards, head hitting another gravestone in the process.

You turn to face it, to read another name of one of the team members you’ve come to call family- but it's not one of theirs. It’s yours.

It’s your name. A graveyard for the Avengers, Earth’s mightiest heroes.

Suddenly your body jolts and you take a sharp intake of breath- your ears are pounding. Everything hurts. But you see her- the enhanced. She’s looking at you with a look you can’t describe. It’s not fear, it’s not anger.. Pity? Empathy? You can’t look away from her, the glowing red eyes capturing you as their prey.

And then there was black.

-

A few weeks later and you’re back at the tower. Things have changed- the entire world has changed, really. The battle opened up new doors- literal new doors to new realms- that the world had previously thought impossible.

The team had expanded, with Steve’s friend Sam joining the team, as well as Vision, the synthezoid that helped the team to defeat Ultron.

There was also her.

Wanda Maximoff was one of the enhanced twins from Strucker’s experiments, you eventually learned. It was voluntary, but after learning about her backstory you think you would have done the same in her place. 

She lost her brother- Pietro- in the battle and she took it hard. She didn’t come out of her room when she could help it. Clint was rather protective over her, maybe it was the fatherly figure coming out of him- maybe he was feeling guilt over being the one Pietro sacrificed himself to save. Either way, he was able to get her out of the room a few times and get her to eat. Vision also struck up a strange friendship with the girl- but then again, Vision was easy company, and rather empathetic for a synthezoid.

Everybody took a hit from when Wanda messed with their heads, some more than others.

You didn’t talk for a week.

Didn’t even talk with Clint’s kids when they wanted to play with you.

You didn’t hold it against her. She proved what a valuable asset she was to the team as she fought alongside the group. She did what she thought was right at the time, and that’s not something you could hold against anybody.

Ever since the Battle, Wanda has been staying in the Avengers facilities with the rest of the group, an official Avenger, but you could tell she was still uneasy around the team. She only talked when she was directly talked to and didn't come out of her room but for a few times a day for food and training, sometimes not even then.

And then there was you.

She seemed to avoid you like the plague. You weren’t even sure you two made eye contact for the entire first few weeks she was there.

At first you thought she just didn’t like you, that something about you rubbed her the wrong way, or something you had done had offended her.

But it was her eyes that gave it away- the same soft look that she gave you right after exploring the deepest and darkest parts of your mind that day at Strucker’s lab. She knew from the second it happened that she had hit a deep nerve, and she would continue to give you that damn look every time she thought you didn't notice her.

But you always did.

You couldn’t help it, the way you were drawn to her. She reminded you so much of yourself before joining the team, broken, and alone in your head. You wanted to know her. You wanted to be there for her, be someone to her, you didn’t want her to keep walking on eggshells around you.

And so, you told her.

You found her in the kitchen late one night. She was wearing flannel pajama bottoms and a garnet tank top with a plain gray robe overtop. Her hair was a mess, roughly shoved into a ponytail and her hands were cupped around a mug. She was blowing on what looked to be dandelion tea, and as you got closer the fragrant earthy smell confirmed your suspicions.

She looked adorable.

And slightly startled to find you alone with her.

“Evening” you said as a greeting as you made your way to the counter top.

She gave a tight-lipped half smile with a timid “Hi” before going back to blowing on her tea. She made a slight movement that looked like she was going to try to slip away before you continued,

“You did really well in training the other day. Cap can’t give you enough praise” you say, taking a seat on one of the counter barstools.

She looks puzzled for a moment over your attempt at small talk before getting out a “Thank you.”

You both stood there in silence for a moment, just looking at each other, feeling the air grow thicker with each second ticking by.

“I like the pajamas” you say with a small smirk. You yourself were still dressed for the day in your leather jacket and black jeans. You could have sworn you saw flush creep up her neck before she swallowed it down with a sip of her tea.

There was another silent moment as she gave you a quizzical look, “I don’t quite understand what’s happening here.” She says with a vague hand gesture to the space between them.

You gave a slight chuckle, it was very on-brand for Wanda to be straight to the point.

“Look, Wanda,” You rotated your body on the stool to face her more comfortably,

“I see the way you look at me when you think i’m not looking. You avoid me at any given opportunity, I actually think this has been the most words we’ve exchanged in your whole time living here.”

She raised her ducked head to look you in the eyes and gave a small shake to her head, “I don’t understand.”

You don’t break eye contact, but simply offer a small smile as you reply “I’m not afraid of you, Wanda. And I don’t hold anything from that day against you. All is forgiven, and I would like to move past that. I understand you believed everything you were doing was for the right reasons, and the only thing that it shows me is your dedication and loyalty to a greater cause. Even if it was the wrong one at the time.”

She looked shocked, to say the least. Her mouth slightly opening and closing as she pondered what to say in response.

“You all should be afraid of me. You see the chaos I’ve created and you think you know what I can do,” her voice caught before she continued, “But the truth is I don't even know what i'm capable of. I don’t belong here.” she says softly.

You give a sad smile before slipping off of the stool and moving closer to her.

“We all thought that, at one point or another. We’ve got a whole freak circus here, we’ve got more baggage than Delta flies in a year- that's, that's uh, an airline. My bad.” You elaborate after she gives you a puzzled look, holding back a smile at your stuttered explanation.

“Aaand I ruined the moment.” You give a small chuckle, before continuing “But my point still stands. Nobody belongs here more or less than anyone else. We’re all just here, that's the truth of the matter. We’re just a bunch of unlucky misfits trying to figure out how to work as a team. Just give it a try, and maybe you’ll find you fit in better than you imagined you would.”

At some point during your speech you had moved close enough to take her hand, and you look down at it now, blushing before going to move it away.

Before you could, she gives your hand a squeeze before moving in to place a gentle kiss against your cheek.

“Thank you, y/n.”

And with that she slips away to her room, leaving you alone with your racing heart and her lukewarm mug of tea.

-

The next morning you found yourself awake bright and early for another morning training session with Nat and Steve- but you had a guest this time.

“Wanda” you greeted, which she returned with a timid “Good morning.”

“I’m glad you could make it” you say, sincerely.

“I decided to take your advice.” She replies with the smallest smile pulling at her lips.

The two of you stood there for a moment, just taking each other in before Steve cleared his throat, “Alright, we should get started then. Wanda, I'll spar with you to start. Nat, you take y/n. Try not to kill each other, please.” He said with a humored smile.

You make your way towards the corner with Nat on your heels. She gives you a quizzical look with a raised brow, glancing between you and Wanda. You roll your eyes and shake your head, only responding with a pointed “Later,” before your legs sweep under hers and an arm wraps around her torso, flipping you both to the ground and landing with you on top of her.

“Using my own move against me, that’s a low blow y/n.” You both laugh, and you barely respond with a “I learned from the best” before she wraps a leg around your waist and grabs your wrists with one hand, flipping you over and pinning you to the ground. She winks and replies “Damn right you did.”

It went like that for another half an hour, the two of you going back and forth battling for the upper hand. Natasha was the one who had trained you since the beginning, and you could almost say you were near her equal now. Well, you could at least give her a run for her money in a spar.

The two of you were panting and glistening with sweat, cheeks flushed from the exercise when she gave you a mischievous wink and called out to the other two, “Hey grandpa, I think I’m done getting my ass kicked by y/n for the day. I want someone easy, come spar with me”

If looks could kill, the look you were giving her would have the assassin dead on the floor.

Steve only looked amused, grabbing a towel to wipe his own sweat as he responded “Bring it on, Romanoff. Try not to break anything, though. I’ve been told they want my bones for the Smithsonian” Nat rolled her eyes and gave a pointedly fake laugh before they made their way to the other side of the gym, leaving you and Wanda alone.

“Hi” you greeted. She responded with a small smile and a “Hi” in return.

She looked as though she were still catching her breath, the rise and fall of her chest was noticeably fast and her face was still adorned with a glisten of sweat and pretty pink flush.

The same flush you saw from her last night, standing in the kitchen with the dim light around her.

Oh God you were in deep now.

“Nat and I were just wrestling around, hand to hand combat kind of stuff, but I see you and Steve were boxing so it's up to you what you’d like to do.” you say quickly.

“Well.. I do have this,” She waves her hand to show her flicker of red powers “for missions, so I don’t think I really need that kind of training.” She says with a smirk, “But I admit, you seem like a good teacher. Maybe.. some basics?”

She was pushing it. Pushing at this, the same way you were pushing last night. Alright, maybe you could run with this.

You give her a teasing smile, “Alright then. We’ll start slowly. May I?” You ask, reaching out for her, but not quite touching.

“By all means” she says, and you can feel the familiar flush creeping up your neck again. You release a puff of breath and shake yourself out of your thoughts before stepping closer to Wanda, and in one fluid motion you had one leg behind hers, your left arm resting against her upper chest and your other at the small of her back, pushing her flush against yourself.

You could hear the small gasp she let out, smirking to yourself.

“This is a simple take down, easy to get out of, but good for beginning. Now i'm just gonna pull you down as slowly as I can-”

You bring her left leg out from under her and carefully let the two of you sink to the floor, leaving you straddled on top of her and pinning her arms to the ground. The air suddenly felt a lot warmer.

You meet her eyes, breath hitching as you feel her pulse quicken beneath your touch.

You clear your throat and begin again, “Like I said before, it’s easy to get out of, but you want to keep the element of surprise. Use your opponent's body weight against them, if you can twist your wrist to slip it out of their grip and use your hips to to flip-”

Before you could even finish she had you pinned beneath her, wind knocked out of you from the impact.

“Like that?” she said, looking down at you through hooded eyes, thick accent teasing- flirting?

You were suddenly very aware of your close proximity and compromising position- flush against each other with her hips straddling your waist; close enough to feel her rapid heartbeat. 

“Yeah- that was- that was good” you sputtered out, barely able to hear yourself over the rapid beating of your own heart. Or maybe it was hers- you aren't sure you could tell the difference between up and down right now.

She gave a proud smirk and opened her mouth to say something before a certain synthezoid floated through the gym walls, clueless to the moment he was interrupting.

“Mr. Stark requests a team meeting and would like you to meet him in the conference room.” He said simply before turning and leaving through the wall again.

Wanda gave you a look that seemed to say we’ll finish this later and moved off of you. You missed the heat of her body immediately.

She offered you a hand up and you gladly took it, the two of you walking side by side in silence to the meeting, shoulders bumping and small smiles shared between you two as you think to yourself that maybe you could get used to this. 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Laisse tomber les filles 5

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; size kink; age gap; manipulation; tags to be added as story progresses

This is a dark!fic and Lee Bodecker x (short) reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You find yourself ostracized on campus by your shyness, but your reticence won’t deter an unwanted suitor.

Note: That slow creep, tho

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You looked down at your body and fidgeted. The skirt was so short you pulled on a pair of stockings in an effort to hide your legs, and it was tight like the blouse. Both pieces seemed to be just a size too small. The boots were higher than any heels you’d worn before and you felt awkward in the get-up.

Noon. That was when he told you the night before as he kept stalling you from leaving. Every time you were ready to push open the car door, he had something else to say. You agreed to noon just to appease him so you could run and hide in your dorm.

You pulled on your long pea coat and stuffed your textbooks into your canvas bag with the leather straps. You hiked it up on your shoulder and slung your pocketbook from your other. You stepped out into the hallway and wobbled on the heels. You clung to the handle as you kept yourself upright.

“Wow, you look special,” Gina remarked as she peeked through the kitchen door.

“Um, thanks,” you pulled your coat closed and buttoned it, “it’s… new.”

“It’s cute,” she said as Lisa came to peek through the doorway as well.

“Where are you going?” the second girl asked.

“To study,” you said as you carefully made your way to the heavy door that led to the stairwell.

“Oh, study, huh?” she teased, “can’t be alone then.”

“I’m gonna be late,” you kept your chin down.

“Don’t let us hold you up,” Gina said as you opened the door and stepped out.

“I didn’t know she had anywhere to go,” Lisa’s trilled and her voice slipped into the hall just before the wood slid back into the frame.

You exhaled through your nose and braced the railing for your slow and treacherous descent. As you got to the bottom, you teetered and pressed yourself to the wall as two girls came through the door. You watched them flit up the stairs and scurried out into the spring air.

The weather was as bitter as before. It smelled like wet grass and mud. The sun beamed down warmly and made you sweat in your jacket. You gripped the strap of your bag and cleared the single step to even ground.

“Honey,” the voice drew your eyes up from your boots and you blinked. 

The sheriff stood by his cruiser as he watched you. He didn’t wear his uniform, instead a pair of grey slacks and pure white button-up under his usual leather. He smiled and came to the end of the walk as you hesitantly closed the gap. Your heel caught in a crack and you stumbled. He caught you and gave a soft laugh.

“You okay?” he asked as he held your elbow in one hand and his other went to the small of your back.

“I’m fine,” you righted yourself and parted from him, “just didn’t see the crack.”

“Here,” he tugged on your heavy knapsack, “let me take this.”

You let him, unsure what to say. He was early. Your watch assured you he was a whole twenty minutes ahead of schedule. Your own timing was purely habit as you hated to keep others waiting.

“Thank you,” you squeaked as he put the bag in the back seat.

“So, can I see it?” he asked as he shut the door.

“What?” your brows knitted in confusion.

“The clothes,” he said lightly, “that is what you’re hidin’ under there, right?” he pointed at a large round button on your pea coat, “it’s too warm to be wearin’ all that.”

“Can I wait… until we’re at your, um, place?” you clutched the round collar of your coat anxiously.

“Oh, for my eyes only, huh,” he teased with a wink.

“No, I just… can we go?”

“Course, honey,” he brushed by you and opened the front door, “get in.”

You sat and pulled your legs in, hooking them around the edge of the seat stiffly as you crossed one over the other. The door closed and you picked at the metal clasp of your pocket book and chewed your lip. Why were you doing all this? You were an adult, he said it himself, you could say no…

You glanced around, his sheriff’s hat sat on the dashboard and you shook your head. No, you couldn’t. He was a cop and your discomfort wasn’t a reason to be uncourteous. Your mother always told you to push yourself out of your safe zone. She hated how you always held yourself back because you were scared. It was difficult enough to get you out of the house and into a dorm.

Once he was in the car, there was no turning back. You coudn’t lie about feeling sick or claim a forgotten study group, you were on your way and suddenly you were filled with panic. What if he wasn’t taking you to his house? Did that star on his hat really mean he was a good person?

“Um,” the syllable slipped from you nervously.

“What is it, hon?” he asked as he gripped the grooved wheel.

“Um, I don’t…” you stuttered as you searched for words. You couldn’t let him know what you were really afraid of, “so, uh, I would’ve thought that… you have a wife?”

His brows flicked up as you peeked over at him. He pushed his bottom lip out and hummed. He clicked his tongue and sighed.

“Well, I did,” he admitted, “but I don’t like to talk about it too much. She, er, she’s married to my deputy now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you said quietly, “I didn’t…”

“It’s all over now,” he shrugged, “you know, I’ve moved on. We’re both happier for it.”

“That’s… good, then,” you murmured.

“Must be, I met you,” he smiled, “huh?”

“Well, I…” your hand shook and hid it up your sleeve, “I don’t know, I’m a bit young, aren’t I?”

“Young?” he said, “you don’t act it. You’re a lot more mature than lots of ladies I know. The way you carry yourself… you work hard I can tell. I don’t see your age, just a good woman.”

“Hmm,” you pursed your lips tightly.

“I mean it,” he insisted, “you got character beyond your age.”

“Thank you, but I… I don’t know,” you picked at the cuff of your coat.

“You brought your books?” he said, “must’ve. That bag sure is heavy. I got a place for ya all set up.”

“Oh?”

“I’ll be workin’ on supper, I hope you don’t mind the noise,” he drawled, “you know, I don’t cook often so I might be a bit… lost.”

“You don’t have to cook for me,” you offered, “really, it’s… too much.”

“I wanna, honey,” he said, “ain’t it special? A fellow cookin’ for his lady?”

“Uh, oh,” you frowned, “sure.”

“And you can turn the radio on if you like,” he continued, “it’s new.”

You nodded and listened meekly. Every argument you had for him was quickly shot down. He was so good at telling you how you were wrong or what to do while making it feel like good advice. Each demand, each want, was presented as common sense. It was impossible to argue with him because deep inside, you couldn’t argue with yourself. 

While your gut told you something was off, your head assured you of your paranoia. You didn’t know any better, did you? You didn’t know how these things worked, how men and women got along, so of course it would feel strange to you. But he knew and he was so confident about it, he must be right.

📚

Lee’s house was nice, just outside the city limits. It reminded you of the suburban homes you passed on your way to high school in your hometown. You only ever lived in an apartment with your parents and so found the place extravagant compared to boxy until attached hallways noisy with troublesome neighbours.

He led you onto the porch, the wood painted white, and opened both the screen door and thicker wood one ahead of you. You were forced to brush against him as you entered. He was quick to trail you, the screen snapping shut behind him. He hung his leather coat and tugged on the back of your collar as he plunked down your bookbag.

“Go on then,” he said, “let me see it, honey.”

You closed your eyes and steeled yourself. You forced a smile as you undid the first button and slowly turned to him. You unhooked each until the coat fell open and you let it fall down your arms. You quickly swept it up and he took it to hang beside his own.

He faced you and gripped your shoulders as he looked down at you. You shied away as his eyes roved down your body and you took a step back as you crossed your arms.

“They’re a bit tight,” you said.

“You look mighty fine,” he slithered, “look like they fit just nice.”

“Erm,” you rocked on the balls of your feet.

He smiled and knelt to untie his shoes. You unzipped the boots and stepped out of them, stretching your arches as before you brought them flat. You pushed them beside his shoes as his strong cologne tickled your nose.

“Just in here, honey,” he waved you through a doorway, “come on.”

He went back to grab your bag and pointed you in ahead of him as he returned to you. He went to the sofa and dropped the bag on the cushion. 

“You can get settled in,” he sidled away from the coffee table, “the radios there,” he gestured to the console table along the wall, “record player too.”

“Thanks, I should be fine,” you neared and sat on the edge of the couch.

“I’ll be through there, in the kitchen,” he peeked over at another door, “you need anything, just holler.”

“I will,” you twined your fingers through each other, “thank you.”

He smirked and shoved his hands in his pockets as he lingered on the other side of the table, “you do look nice in that,” he looked you up and down again, “you don’t even need the stockings with how warm it’s gettin’.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled and brought your fingers to tap your lip, “guess I should get started.”

You reached for the flap of your book bag and slid out a heavy textbook. You sensed him watching you before his feet slowly turned away and he strode from the room. You opened the book and flipped through the pages mindlessly. 

This house was far enough from the city, far enough that you were stranded, and much of the area was new to you. The realisation made you tremble as you counted the page numbers.

[hummingbird-games]

2021 In Review (Visual Novel Edition)

Okay!! 

So. 

I played a LOT of games this year, but for sake of relevance we’re gonna narrow it down to the VN games and demos I tried. I’m not a fan of bashing games I don’t like (with certain exceptions) so don’t expect those titles to make an appearance here. 

So, in making this list it got too long for my own liking so I decided to focus on the titles I REALLY love or think are noteworthy and should be on others’ radars...note how the list is still too long F R I C K. 

DEMOS

Trouble Comes Twice - there isn’t a day that passes where I WISH I could have supported the Kickstarter. I was drawn to this game because you can play as either twin, and then stayed for the great banter and interactions and art style.

Herotome - the superhero genre is one I’ll never get tired of so to see visual novels out in the wild??? I’ve been on cloud 9 ever since. (Also the dev is a GEM so maybe I’m biased, but let the record show that I fell in love before we became friends and moots so there!!)

An Everyday Love - I’ve talked about this game a lot and love any excuse to reblog content (click here or here or here)

Twin Coves - I actually am not the target demographic for Twin Peaks but the dark atmosphere and the promise of mystery drew me in.  And then I played the demo and was SOLD!! And then I did a happy dance because I got so support the kickstarter lol

After-Party Chemistry - !!!!!!! Don’t remember how the algorithm worked in my favor but one day I was looking for a high school game to play (to be inspired on my project and also because we just need more HS/teen stuff and I’m starved ALWAYS). This project is still very much a WIP but I love that it’s chemistry based (I sucked at this subject in school BTWs and this game reminded me while also being such a treat to play) 

The Radiants - Along with superhero games, I also have a love for magic. Also school based games....yeah there’s a theme here, thanks for noticing LOL. Another “demo made me fall even more in love with the game”

College Craze - Hey look! Another school theme game!! But it’s mature. No, like super mature, like Smut City with Plot and Character Customization lol. Dev is slowly trucking away at this project and it’s a joy to see it come along even if I’m late to the party. 

Dagonrompa: REVIVE - My sprite artist’s WIP so maybe I’m a little biased but that just means it’s totally worth your time to check out the demo!! Also I knew of  Danganropa and didn’t plan on seeking it out, but this fangame demo is my first ever interaction and I it was truly a good time. 

Band Camp Boyfriend - There’s a handful of demos I’m chomping at the bits to have a full game, and this is one of them! I was never a band geek in HS but was always curious about band kid culture (plus I am a high school content connoisseur *twirls mustache*) so I was destined to fall in love with this one. 

The Closet Door - This is another game that has the blood, sweat, and tears of a loving dev, who wants more representation in games, and I’m so happy I stumbled upon this WIP. It’s charming and the art style is SO so so lovely to stare at, and the main character is such a firecracker who doesn’t take shit and can be a little sharp and I ADORE her!! (JMB if you see this, I love you and I think you’re doing amazing, always!!) 

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough) 

War on Roses - I actually cannot stand love triangles, but I ALSO can’t stay away from fashion sims...or beautiful Black people in games...and also character customization??? Yeah um, this is one of my top faves whoops.

Magical Diaries Horse Hall - School + Magic YAAAAAAY. Wolf Hall is on my list next, but this series is super fun. It’s stats raising and romance and fun (or off the wall) events sprinkled through game play. This is probably the only series that made me consider just once writing a male protagonist. (Horse Hall, f!MC and Wolf Hall, m!MC by the way)

Our Life: Beginnings & Always - This game makes it on the list by a technicality because I devoured it Nov 2020 buuuut I’ve replayed it so many times this year and it was the simplicity and wholesomeness of this game that inspired me and Hummingbird Games that I had to add it.  

Blooming Panic - At the time of this post, there is a full and expanded version available for play and I haven’t done a replay, but I have romanced 3 of the guys and there aren’t enough words to explain why I love this game. If I could buy it I would have done it without hesitation, so for the content to be free really feels like I’ve won the lottery. Also, IRL I’m terrible when it comes to participation in Discord groups, and DMs are not too great--shoutout to everyone I still need to message back ahaha-- but the essence of this game is being on a discord server and it’s so. Much. Fun. (Quest is a gem, but nightowl was my first and by that logic still reigning champion in my heart) 

Raptor Boyfriend - First I’d like to apologize for judging this game by it’s cover. SECONDLY I’d like to stress that it shouldn’t have taken a sale for me to put this on my radar but I’m soooooo glad it worked out. It’s very 90s (my fave time period for content consumption and storytelling) all 3 love interests are quirky and loveable in their own ways, the telephone call feature is SO fun, and I just had a really great time with this game. 

Chess of Blades - This is not the list for boys love titles, BUT I will eventually make that post too. For now you will accept that this is pretty dang high on the list of faves this year. The voice acting is perfect, the art is exquisite, the love interests and their routes all bring something different to the table, and your choices have consequences!!! I hate that but I love it. Play this game. Cop it on sale if you have too. I love it, that is all. 

  Fully Released (& still on 1st playthrough)

Women of Xal - Being a baby dev on the scene + being Black with an intense love for VNs meant I was resigned to seeing white (and anime) faces more than anything else, as the MC and as the love interests. And then I saw art for WoX. Alllll the beautiful melaninated people. And then time went by and I fangirled and was rewarded for my efforts for seeing this project to completion (I wasn’t there at the veerrry beginning but it all worked out.) There’s soooo much content and treats and lore and just sheer amount of STUFF that I’ve put in X amount of hours and I still have more to go. And it’s super exciting.

(FINISH) Butterfly Soup (because I’m suffering from ‘I don’t want this to end’ syndrome, but I can’t have all these unfinished games in my life)

Do we share any favorites? Any titles you want to fight me on over my tastes? Let me know!! Or just scroll on 😂

- Gemini

[fawad-khan]

birthdays and wonders

A/N: heyyy so this is an entry for @hollandsrecs tom’s birthday fic fest! hope u enjoy and let me know how this was!

Masterlist

(edit is mine!)

Pairing- Tom Holland x reader, both are married here :)

Word Count- 1.5k+ (yea i should practice writing more)

Prompt-  your birthday present for tom: telling him you're pregnant

Warning- just mentions of sickness and vomiting in the beginning, nothing too much.

Summary- on tom’s birthday, you have a certain special gift for thomas this year.

You tossed and turned on your bed as you felt something come up your neck and would come out of the mouth any moment. You felt nauseous. You opened your eyes and sat up. You climbed off the bed, trying not to make noise and wake Tom. You made your way towards the bathroom, covering your mouth so that you could avoid puking on the floor.

Quickly, you opened the bathroom door and jogged towards the toilet and lifted the seat and emptied the contents of your stomach inside the toilet bowl. As the contents left, you could feel a bit better.

When you were finally done, you flushed and rinsed your mouth thoroughly to get rid of the taste of vomit. You walked back to the bed and got inside the covers beside Tom, who stirred a bit in his sleep and subconsciously pulled you closer towards him. Closing your eyes, you drifted back to sleep.

----

This continued for a week. You didn't tell anyone about this, as it didn't seem like a big deal with you. Also because Tom would make a really big fuss, although that was also something that made him so adorable. You thought maybe this was a flu bug that was in the air and decided to dismiss this and focused on the upcoming days. 

Tom's birthday was approaching and you wanted to keep a small and homely affair with all of his family and best mates.

Right now, you were discussing the food menu and decorations to do. Since Tom was out doing some work, this was the perfect opportunity to plan everything out and hence you had called Harrison, Harry, Sam and Tuwaine to help you out and discuss the food, time, drinks, etc.

You suddenly felt an urge to pee real bad. This was weird, considering you had just gone to the bathroom ten minutes ago.

"Shit" you muttered, hurrying towards the bathroom again. You came out five minutes later, feeling very suspicious. This happened a bunch of times in the previous day as well. You were trying to wrack your brains.

Then it struck to you. You took out your phone and checked the calendar, and sure enough, your period was late by a week already. Now, just to be sure, you needed a test.

You went back to the living room, where the boys were chatting and planning.

"Hey Haz, could you come here for a second? I need to talk about something." He nodded and walked towards you. You gestures him to follow you to the kitchen so that you could get some privacy.

"What's up, (y/n)?" 

You took a deep breath. "Well, uh, I really don't know how to say this, but um I've been feeling some things over the last few days and uh" you looked down for a minute, wondering how were you gonna speak the words you were about to say next.

"I think I might be pregnant." You bit your bottom lip nervously as you looked at his face for his reaction. He held a bewildered expression, his eyes widened as he tried to process what you just told him.

"Wait, really? You're pregnant?" He asked, still confused.

"I think so, I'm not really sure."

"Oh, I see. Well, do you have any tests lying around? You could take a test and check."

"Well, that's what I called you here for. Could you just maybe purchase some tests from the nearby store? If it's possible?"

"Of course! I'll be glad to help you however I can." He smiled, making you smile too.

"Thanks Haz, you're a lifesaver."

"Anytime. I'll just go now and bring them for ya."

"Oh and Haz? Can you just not tell anyone right now? Especially Tom? I don't want anyone to know just in case this was a false alarm or anything."

"Of course, my mouth is zipped. You have my word."

"Thanks. Now hurry along!" With that he went out and made a simple excuse of getting a phone call and quickly went to the nearby medical store and bought a small bunch of tests. He came back carrying them in a small bag, entering inside quietly and sneakily placing them in your room, without anyone seeing him. He came back and nodded at you, you mouthed a thanks to him.

Later, when the other boys had gone, you decided now would be safe to test. Harrison, of course, stayed back as he wanted to know whatever the outcome was, and be there for you.

You went to the bathroom and prepared yourself to pee on the stick. Luckily, you made sure to drink a decent amount of water just in case so that this would go smoothly. 

You waited for five minutes and checked the tube. Surely, it showed two lined, which indicated that the test was positive and you were indeed, pregnant.

"Oh my god." You could not help saying to yourself.

"Is everything ok?" Haz asked, knocking softly at the door.

"Yeah, yeah it's alright." You replied, heading to the door and opening it.

"Well?" He asked, looking at you.

"It's positive."

"Oh my god is it true?"

"Yes it is Haz! You're going to be an uncle!" You smiled as he jumped a little in excitement like a kid. He gave you a tight hug, which you responded by hugging him as well, giggling and smiling.

"Hey, uh let's just not tell Tom yet. Or anyone. I think I know the perfect time to tell him." You looked at him knowingly, hoping that he could get the drift, which he did.

"You got it, chief."

----

"Happy birthday to you, Tom!" You sang as he cut his cake. The party turned out to be a very and cozy affair, with everything going well as planned.

You were yet to give your gift to Tom. You decided that it would be better when you both were alone and had your privacy to do it.

While the others were busy on distributing the cake and food for each other and taking their share, you went to Tom and hugged him from behind, making him grin and hold your hands wrapped around his waist.

"Happy birthday, darling." You mumbled in his ear, giving him a sweet kiss on his lips.

"Thanks love." He chuckled, turning around to give you a proper hug and pull you closer to him, his head resting on your shoulder and taking in your scent which always reminded him of home and comfort, what he always felt when he was with you.

"Hey, wanna come to the room for a second? I wanna show you something." He nodded and you took his hand in yours and walked to the bedroom. You walked to your cupboard and took out a small, neatly wrapped box which you had kept for this particular occasion.

"Here's my present. Happy birthday, baby." You whispered to him, handing him the gift. 

"Thanks, angel. Wonder what's in here." He sat on the bed and unwrapped the box, wondering what could be there. You could feel your heartbeat go faster as you waited for his reaction. He took out the box and opened the lid, his eyes scrunched in confusion as he saw a pregnancy kit there.

He picked it up and observed it closely in his hands and noticed there were two lines, which made him gasp in surprise and look at you. He got up, taking the pregnancy kit in hand walked to you, hoping he had read the situation right.

"Darling, is this what I think it is?  I mean, is it true? Are you h-having a baby?" He looked down gently at your belly and looked at your face again. You smiled and nodded, taking his hand and placing it on your belly.

"Yes Tom. We're having a baby." You smiled softly, waiting for his reaction.

"Oh my god, babe this is so amazing! We're gonna have a baby, a mini you or mini me in our arms in a few months, I just- wow!" He chuckled softly, running his fingers through his curls. He gave you a big hug, holding you close to him. You could hear him sniffle a bit as you hugged him back, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"I'm so happy and excited, darling." He mumbled in your ear.

"Me too, Tom. I'm excited for this." You could feel tears of joy coming out of your eyes. You pulled away from the hug and cupped his cheeks and pulled him in for a soft kiss. His soft lips moved with yours as he squeezed your waist gently. You pulled away and placed your forehead on his, looking into his eyes filled with happy tears. 

You both could not help but giggle, feeling so ecstatic about having a child, two years into your marriage, and were ready to welcome a little baby into your world.

"I love you, (y/n)."

"I love you too, Tom." You smiled.

"Now wanna tell the others?"

"Yeah, let's do that. Although, Harrison knows." You winked. With that you walked towards the door to break the news to everyone, while Tom muttered a 'hey!' before coming to join you to break the news. 

This certainly had been an amazing birthday, he thought. You were both looking forward to having your child and what the future held for you.

The End

taglist link in reblog!

[mermaidxatxheart]

Better Together Chapter Seven

Chapter 7 already? I must really love you guys. I hope you enjoy. If you'd like to be added to my tag list, send me an ask. My work is not to be reposted under any name or anywhere else. Reblogs and comments, however, are always welcome.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Warnings: trauma, probably language, descriptions of violence, torture, blood.

Word Count: 2k

Series Master List

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

The sunlight is bright and you twist your face into Poe’s chest, trying to hide from it. You feel him chuckle under you and it’s only then that you realize he’s awake already.

“Morning.” He says softly.

“What time is it?” You mumble.

“Early, about six.”

“How can you sleep with the sun shining in your eyes like that?”

“I like getting up early.” His fingers trail lightly over your arm and he pulls you tight against his side.

You’re quiet for a long time, but it’s not because he’s lulled you back to sleep. You feel bad for waking him up so late last night. “I’m sorry I woke you up.” You say finally.

“It’s okay. I’d rather you wake me up if you need me than suffer by yourself.” He brushes your hair back behind your ear. “I don’t sleep much anyway.” He admits.

“Because of dreams?” You ask, twisting your head back to look up at him.

“Among other things, yeah.”

You squint and he smiles softly. If you had to pick which is brighter, the sun or Poe’s smile? Poe’s smile wins by a landslide.

“Here, roll over.” He urges, guiding you onto your other side. He turns behind you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“This isn’t any better.” You huff. His chest shakes behind you as he laughs. You lift his arm and roll back over so you’re facing him. His soft brown eyes are watching you, amusement sparkling in them as you shift.

“Now you’re facing the window again.” He points out. So, you tuck your face into the crook of his neck and take a big, satisfying breath. “G-good now?” He asks quietly.

“Yeah.” You whisper, eyes already drooping shut again.

***

“I can talk to Leia, you don’t have to do the report.” Poe says.

“I told her I would. She said I could take time but I was petty and angry at the time and said I would have it for her by today.” You tell him, pushing yourself up from the bed.

“So that means you can still take your time.” He says, catching your wrist gently. “Stay.” He whispers and you turn back to him. “Please?”

“Come with me. You can get some food. I know you need caf. I kept you from doing your usual stuff all morning.” You say, kneeling on the bed. This feels dangerous. It feels like flirting, like crossing a line. But you meant it when you said that Poe is the easiest person to be around.

“You should get food, too.” He says, pushing himself up closer to you. One little inch and you’d be almost touching. You could kiss him. You could feel his lips on yours, tell him how much you…

Your eyes close and he pulls back. You should have expected it. But that doesn’t stop you from feeling like the floor is falling out from under you. Suddenly, you don’t want him to go with you. You straighten up, feeling dizzy and unbalanced. You feel numb, you can’t feel your pulse, can’t hear the way you’re breathing too quickly.

“I just remembered. It’s been a while since I’ve showered. I should do that first.” You mutter, already turning for the door.

“Y/N,” he calls, but the door is already shutting behind you and you squeeze your eyes shut. You deserved that. Why would you think he would want to kiss you again?

Poe can only be your friend. Nothing more. He doesn’t want anything more from you. And honestly, count yourself lucky that he even wants that much.

You hurry off to your room, locking the door behind you. You just want to be alone. That’s what’s best for everyone. Painfully, you peel off your clothes, wincing as every move causes you pain.

You shower quickly, blindly, taking no more time than is absolutely necessary. It would be so easy to just let yourself cry, pretend it’s the water dripping down your face instead of salty tears, but you can’t go there. You can’t let yourself feel sorry anymore. You made this mess, ruined a perfectly good friendship, cheated on your boyfriend and now you have to deal with the consequences of that. You’re in your comfiest clothes, settled at your desk to start your report. You wish you had thought to ask how much detail Poe had put in his. He clearly exaggerated about your part in what happened.

Your hands hover over the keyboard, waiting for your brain to tell them what to type. The longer you wait, the more they start to shake. You yank them back against your chest, squeezing them painfully to get them to stop. You welcome the pain, it somehow serves as your penance for what you’ve done.

Your door tries to open and there’s a muffled curse outside, startling you. You quickly unlock it and outside is Bryce. He holds out a caf silently and your eyes widen and you realize you promised him you’d be in the med bay after his shift.

“How was it?” You ask, taking the cup and backing up to let him in.

“Boring as always. I hate post work. Nothing ever happens.” He grumbles, following you and flopping on your bed. “What happened?” He asks, balling up your pillow and stuffing it under his chest to rest on.

“Um,” you clear your throat, scrambling for an answer that wouldn’t start a fight. I went to sleep with the guy you hate would definitely start a fight. “I couldn’t sleep. Kept waking up. Then I just said screw it. Been trying to work on this stupid report of what happened.” You gesture and he nods, understanding. At least, understanding your words. You know he doesn’t understand what you’re feeling. Nothing bad has ever happened to Bryce.

“What did happen?” He asks, tilting his head to look at you.

The blood drains out of your face and your hands start to shake. Your stomach falls to your feet and your knees get weak. “I-I don’t… I don’t really wanna talk about it.” You mutter, sitting back down before you fall down. You take a sip of the caf and try not to blanch. He never makes it how you like it and every time you forget.

“Well, you’re gonna have to talk about it. People are gonna wanna know.” He says, his voice gentle like he’s trying to be kind. But it feels like a punch to the gut. Why would people need to know what happened to you? Before you can protest, there’s a knock on your door. Bryce glares at it before looking at you. “Expecting someone?” He asks pointedly.

“No. I wasn’t even expecting you.” You stand up and press the release, even more surprised to see Snap on the other side.

He looks nervous as shit, holding out a bag of food from the commissary, and a caf. He has never ever brought you food before. “P…” he cuts off and glances down the hall. “Pando in the lab wanted me to remind you that he needs your help analyzing those plants you brought back.” He says, rolling his eyes at the name.

You frown in confusion, taking the bag. “Pando?” You repeat.

He narrows his eyes and slides them to the right, back down the hallway where he looked the first time. “Yeah. Pando. That’s what he told me. He needs your help.”

The name is entirely unfamiliar. As far as you know, it’s not even a name at all. “Alright… well, if you see… Pando, then let him know I’ll be there in a while. I have something to finish.” You say and he nods. Abruptly he turns and walks down the hall to your right and you blink. Maybe Snap is losing it? Too many missions? Flying too close to the sun? Maybe his ox-mask isn’t operating at full capacity. You poke your head out to watch him, wondering if he’s okay, and a figure darts from view before you can catch a good glimpse.

“That guy.” Bryce shakes his head.

“He’s a good dude. Just under a lot of pressure.”

“Who’s Pando?” He asks, taking the bag of food from you and rolling over onto his back.

You have a feeling you know who Snap was talking about, but why would he lie? Do you keep up the lie? Something in your gut tells you that telling the truth would be a bad idea. “Just one of the guys from the science division.” You shrug.

Bryce digs into your food and you frown. “I thought I knew all the freaks you work with.” He tilts his head, biting into a yacba fruit.

“They’re not freaks.” You snatch your food back. “And you don’t know everything about me. I have work to do.” You say and he rolls his eyes.

“So? Do it. I’m not stopping you.” He sighs, stretching out and laying back.

You want to hit him with something, that rage burning through your veins again. To save your holopad, you grab it, the bag of food, and the caf from Snap and march out of your room. You’ll find somewhere to eat in peace and then go to the lab and find this Pando.

There’s an observation tower on the outskirts of the compound that isn’t used anymore. You climb to the top, leaning against the stone post overlooking the woods. Finally, peace and quiet.

While you eat, you try to get as much of the report done as you can. You decide to be vague on the method of interrogation, instead focusing on what they wanted to know.

The lack of horrific details in your report doesn’t stop you from remembering them.

Hours. He has been asking you questions for hours. For every one unanswered, he slices at your best friend, nicking his skin all over. His face, his hands, his arms, his chest, his legs. There isn’t a body part left unscathed.

For his credit, he never wavers, never gives any sign of weakness, never cries out. He just clenches his jaw, and squeezes his eyes shut.

You, on the other hand, can’t stop crying. You’ll keep your promise, but seeing your best friend in so much pain hurts more than anything you’ve ever experienced.

In the back of your mind, you wonder how he knows about being tortured. As far as you know, he’s never been captured. He’s an excellent soldier, always on guard, always alert. He knows his shit, he’s good at this.

Until he goes on a solo mission with you.

And then you kiss him. And he drops his guard. Now he’s being hurt.

The trooper grunts in dissatisfaction and sets his blade down. “Seems like you rebel scum like pain.” He says, starting to take off his gauntlets and gloves.

Your stomach tightens, nerves spiking as you watch his movements warily. Is he going to give Poe a break, and turn on you?

“Nothing’s as painful as living in the world of the First Order.” Poe replies calmly.

Before you can see it coming, the trooper throws his fist, slamming it into Poe’s solar plexus. Poe doubles over as much as he can, coughing hard and gasping for air. You press your lips together to keep from crying out as your tears spill over. The trooper rains down blow after blow all over his body. His lip splits against his teeth, blood dripping down his chin. Around his eye, his cheekbone, along his jaw; you can hear his ribs shifting, maybe cracking.

Your heart breaks for him. You want to do something to help him, but you’re useless against your restraints.

“Ready to give up your precious General?” The trooper sneers, grabbing Poe’s thick hair and pulling up on it to see his face.

“Who?”

The trooper drops his head unceremoniously and turns to you for the first time. “You can stop his pain.” He taunts. “Just give us the location of your base.”

You straighten yourself as much as you can in defiance. “What base?” You ask coldly.

He grumbles and grabs his gloves, stalking from the room. Poe lets his head sag, breathing hard. You don’t dare speak. Blood drips from his mouth slowly, pooling on the floor.

You twist your face away so you don’t have to see your handiwork, crying silently. You can only hope that for the next session, they turn their attention to you instead of Poe.

He deserves so much better.

Chapter 8

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[just-dreaming-marvel]

My Superhero

MAIN MASTERLIST

Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 1,500ish

Summary: You and Steve’s relationship is fairly new, so you haven’t told him everything yet.

Notes: I did a Tony Stark one about chronic illness called Invisible Pain. I wanted to do a Steve Rogers one as well.

Feeling completely well on any given day was a luxury. It never really mattered what medicine, diet, or amount of essential oil you put on, your joints hurt. End of story. Of course, it wasn’t completely random. You had Rheumatoid Arthritis, so there was a reason for it. You just sometimes wished that your arthritis was located in specific joints instead of all of them.

You were currently in your apartment getting ready for your fifth date with none other than Captain America’s, Steve Rogers. He was suppose to pick you up in a little more than an hour and, yet, you still couldn’t get out of your pj’s to shower. Your shoulders were causing you excruciating pain. Trying to take your shirt off was bringing you to tears, each try more unsuccessful than the next. 

You were at a loss of what to do. You had yet to inform Steve about your chronic illness due to past experiences. Every other man you had dated, or tried to, quickly left you in the dust after finding out that you would forever be sick and that it would slowly get worse with age. So you had told yourself that you would tell Steve once you were official, even though there was still a chance of heartbreak even then. You just wanted to enjoy this while it lasted.

Steve was so sweet, kind, and gentle towards you. You two had met after he accidentally walked into you about two months ago on the side walk. This was only your five date in that span of time due to the missions he was constantly being called on. Though, the two of you texted or talked on the phone whenever you could.

You were currently sitting on the edge of your bed, staring at the typed up message just waiting to be sent. At this point, canceling the date was your only option. You couldn’t change and you had already maxed out on drugs for the night. You sighed, a tear strolling down your cheek, as you pressed sent.

You: Hey, Steve :) I’m so sorry to do this to you at such late of notice, but something’s come up and I won’t be able to make it today. Sorry :( Can we reschedule?

It didn’t take long for Steve to respond.

Steve: hey doll :) is everything okay? 

You: Yeah, I’m just not feeling the greatest. But I’ll be fine after some much needed rest. How does next Friday sound?

Steve: Next Friday sounds wonderful. But are you sure you’re okay? Do you need anything? I could come over and we could stay in for the night. Order food and watch one of the movies I’ve yet to catch up on.

This man was too good to you. Almost too perfect. But you were too scared. You didn’t want to lose him just yet. You were enjoying it too much to be hurt already.

You: I’ll be fine, Steve. I just need some rest. You should probably get some too. I’ll talk to you later.

He didn’t respond. You sighed, laying back on your bed, tensing at the pain in your joints. You closed your eyes, trying to will your pain away, to no avail. Apparently, you had slightly fallen asleep because when a few knocks sounded at your door, you jumped up. Immediately regretting it because of the pain that shot through your joints.

Confused, dazed, and in pain, you shuffled over to the door. You didn’t even bother checking the peep hole before opening the door. Your jaw practically dropped to the floor at the sight in front of you. There was Steve, standing there in sweatpants and sweat shirt, your favorite flowers in one hand and two boxes of pizza in the other.

“Steve?” You questioned quietly, willingly yourself to stay put instead of run away embarrassed. You knew you didn’t look your best. “What—what are you doing here?”

“I came to check on you,” he responded with a gentle smile. “Can’t have my best girl feeling unwell now, can I?”

“Steve,” you shook your head, “you really didn’t—“

“Of course I did. Now, are you going to let me in or do I have to let myself in?”

Biting your lip, you opened the door wider, letting him walk in. Steve went straight to the kitchen, setting the pizzas down on the counter. 

“Do you have a vase?” He asked, looking around. “For the flowers?”

“Under the sink,” you responded. “Um… I’m going to change.” You pointed over your shoulder, immediately regretting it and grimacing.

“Y/N, is something wrong?” His concerned eyes raked over you.

“No, nothings wrong. I just need to change. I-I haven’t gotten out of these all day.”

The look in his blue eyes told you all you needed to know, he didn’t believe you. You turned around as quickly as you could. You could feel his eyes following you as you disappeared into your room. You slowly pulled down your pj pants, holding in a cry as you did. Pulling up clean sweats was easier, thankfully. It was the new shirt, you knew would be the killer.

Taking a deep breath, you grabbed the hem of your shirt and tried to pull it over your head. Failing to conceal the whimpered cry that left your lips, you heard Steve’s quick footsteps stop at your door.

“Y/N?” He called outside the door. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah,” you responded, clearly your throat. “I’m fi-fine.”

“Are you sure? Do… do you, uh, need help?”

“No! I’ll be right out.”

Steve didn’t move from his spot outside your bedroom door. In fact, he leaned in, pressing his ear to the door. He could hear you breathing deeply, like you were trying to calm down. Which concerned him. You had told him that you hadn’t been feeling well, but you looked like you were fine. So what was going on? He waited, keeping quiet at your door. 

Inside, you were still trying to get your shirt off. You were riding it up, but you couldn’t get it past your breasts. You let out a louder cry, finally breaking. Steve couldn’t wait any longer, he came in to see you in tears on your bed.

“Oh, doll,” he cooed, heart breaking at the sight of you. He rushed over and sat beside you on the bed. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m… I’m so sorry, St-steve,” you cried. “I didn’t want you to find out like this… honestly, I hoped you would never find out.”

“Find out about what?” 

He went to put an arm around you, to pull you into him. But when he put his hand on your shoulder, you winced and let out a small whine. His hand quickly was off your shoulder and the furrow between his brows increased.

“Y/N? What’s going on?”

“I… I… I’m sick.”

“Like, with the flu? Or… or worse?”

“I guess, you could say, something in between.” You looked at Steve to see him intently listening. “I… I have arthritis. Rheumatoid Arthritis. It’s where, well… my body is attacking its own tissue and joints. Even… even my internal organs. As I age, it will slowly get worse. Possible bone erosion and joint deformity… It’s painful, but I’ve been able to manage it. I still have good days and bad. Today… today’s—“

“A bad day. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because all the other guys I’ve dated have left me after finding out. I… I like what we have. And I don’t want to lose it. But… but I’ll understand if this is too much for you.” You looked down at the hands resting in your lap. “It is for everyone else.”

“Y/N… can you look at me, doll?” He carefully guided your head back up. “I am so extremely sorry that others have been so stupid. They obviously don’t know what they’re missing out on. And I guess that makes me lucky, cause now I get to know you and get to fall in love with you.”

“You’re… you’re falling in love with me?”

Steve nodded. “Yes. And I would like the opportunity to keep doing so, if you’ll have me?”

“Of course. Will you… will— you still want to date me?”

“The fact that you go through life every day, trying your hardest and pushing yourself, even though you don’t have to. That only makes me fall more in love with you.” He gently cupped your cheek. “You’re a real superhero.”

You giggled. “No, I’m just—“

“My superhero. You’re my superhero.” He pressed a short kiss to your lips. “Thank you,” he whispered, “for telling me. Please know that you don’t have to hide from me. I really don’t want you to. I want to help you in any way I can.”

“Thank you, Steve.” 

He gave you another kiss. “Now, how about we eat the probably cold pizza and watch anything you want?”

“I’d like that.”

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, but I would like to remind people that everyone who has it suffers from it differently. This story is based off of my own personal pain and struggles. I go through most days pushing through the pain that is constantly there without most people realizing. And I know that I’m not the only one.

Remember, everyone is going through unseen challenges. Please be kind to everyone you interact with/come across. 

Comments, likes, reblogs, and asks are always welcome!

[koulakoukoula2003]

Family (Levi x Reader)

Pairing: Levi x OC, Levi x Y/n, Levi x You, Levi x Reader

Trigger Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff, Romance

Summary: Levi returns home after a long day in the Survey Corps HQ only to find you sleeping with your twin babies curled around you. He offers to tuck them to bed, and you catch him singing "So Ist Es Immer" whilst tucking little Isabel, and little Furlan to sleep

So Ist Es Immer - Samuel Kim & Sorah Version (Spotify Link)

Levi walked in and the smell of chicken in the stove reached his nostrils right away, though he could tell nothing was boiling on the stove at this hour. His dinner was ready a while now. The only light open, the one in the hall that they’d always leave open in the nights, bringing light in all the rooms since his babies and his (y/n) couldn’t sleep without an indication of light.

It was late in the night now and he was sure they were sleeping. Levi had a smile forming on his lips. That day was finally over and here he was now, home. A place to call his own. A place where his family was waiting for him at the end of the day. Family. He had been so alone. He always needed one. He always wanted to build a family and be the father that he never had. He always wanted a home that sounded and smelled like one. The floor practically creaked beneath his feet. His (y/n) had kept it clean enough to exceed his standards. She always did.

Levi hung his black suit jacket by the coat-stand and pushed off his shoes. He made his way through the dark living room and walked in the hall, and then in his and (y/n)’s bedroom. His smile only grew when he walked in. He couldn’t complain at the sight. (Y/n) was in the middle. Her head, resting back on the wooden headboard and slightly rolled down to her shoulder, and then, their little angels were around her. Furlan nuzzled in her chest. Isabel’s face nuzzled on her mom’s belly. The little ones were dressed in their pyjamas, though, (y/n) was still in that grey skirt and her white shirt. Her arms were thrown around them both, to make sure they wouldn't fall off the bed, and all three of them were sleeping right there peacefully.

Levi sighed contently as he crossed his arms against his chest, pressing some of his weight on the entrance of the room and he just stared at them, and at how wonderful all three of them looked. He had to commit this to memory. He really had to. The attack on Liberio was fast approaching, only a week away. He had everything in this very room right this very instant. He had the three most precious people in this world. The thought of somehow losing this was enough to drive him insane. Let alone letting it happen.

No. He wasn’t going to allow it. He had everything in this room. Everything. He was probably the happiest man alive, but he could, very fast, and very easily be the saddest. So he committed it to memory, the look of his (y/n) having passed out on their bed with their babies around her. There was a storybook laid down in her lap, open in the page they had left it. A blanket was thrown on top of all three.

“As a husband and a father, it’s my responsibility to keep my family safe,” He had once said. And had gladly taken on that responsibility because what he was staring at now was worth everything that he had to offer and so much more. It was worth everything. And for a moment, he was indeed thinking of sleeping on the couch, and just leaving them to continue their much-needed rest. He’d sleep on the floor if he had to. He didn’t care. Everything he’d do, he’d do it for them. His family.

“Levi?” (Y/n)’s sweet, sleepy voice snapped him out of it. She had noticed him being there and she had slipped out of her rest and she looked at that smile on his face and that determined look in his eyes, which softened right away. She looked around her and she giggled, leaning down pressing forehead kisses on them both. “Seems we passed out,” She smiled sweetly at her husband as he approached them.

“I’ll tuck them to bed,” Levi offered as he gathered them both in his arms, gently and careful not to wake them, and he turned around exiting the room and heading for their own.

(Y/n) chuckled as she stood up and made her way to the kitchen to serve Levi his dinner. He must have been hungry. When she was done heating up the food of chicken in tomato sauce and rice, she served them on a dish and settled it on the kitchen table before she set off to find him.

And when she did, it was her own turn to smile like an idiot with her own arms crossed against her chest and her weight pressed by the entrance of their kids’ room. A familiar melody reached her ears as she stared at the sweetest scene, she ever thought possible.

“…you and I talk all the night long. Meagre the space, but serves us so well. We comrades have stories to tell,” Levi sang softly. His voice, almost a whisper.

The only ‘lullaby’ he knew. But that song meant so much to him. Furlan would play that song on the guitar. It was the first song he had danced to. It was the song at his first dance with his beloved (y/n). He fell in love with her in those dances to that song. He’d whisper it to her when she needed him. When she’d clutch onto him from some kind of pain, from some kind of injury, or some kind of breakdown. He’d hum or sing her this and she’d calm. And she would always do the same for him. It worked on their two babies just as perfectly. He tucked them both beneath their clean bedsheets, pushing their blankets on top of their little bodies and laying forehead kisses on them both. He smiled down at his precious little brats that deserved the world.

Levi turned and looked at his wife, noticing finally that she had been standing there all along with a dreamy smile on her lips. He chuckled silently and he approached her, humming the chorus of that song as he wrapped an arm around her and the other caught her own. His Nathalie followed his lead as they danced their way through the hall and she giggled helplessly at their small little dance that reminded her of all those nights in the Underground.

Even their time in the Underground sounded sweet. Even back then, they were happy in that dirty little misty place, surrounded by enemies, but they had each other. And so long as they had each other, even hell could feel like paradise. And paradise could feel like hell without one another, exactly as those three years without her had felt.

Levi cupped her face and stopped their little dance once they reached the kitchen. She had that smile on her pink lips, and that dreamy look in her eyes that let him know exactly how happy she now was. His (y/n) was happy. He’d never seen her happier. He’d do anything to achieve that smile on her lips. He smiled softly down at her and he pressed his lips against her own. He kissed her softly, not once pushing his tongue past her lips unless she let him. And she did.

Her arms slipped around his shoulders and she brought him close. His own arms tightened around her waist, pressing her small body against his own, and he sighed blissfully in their soft little kiss, on her sweet taste that he met with his tongue. He loved his (y/n). Way too much. And she loved her Levi. She’d give it all. She just wished they could stay forever like this. She just wished there was no war, and no job to go to. No missions to fulfil, no terrors, no monsters to fight. She just wanted to live in this beautiful house with her husband and their beautiful little angels. What a perfect, happy life that would be.

She giggled as she pulled back and she cupped his face. She ran her soft thumb across his cheek. His taste, on her lips, sweet and familiar. She wanted more, but his dinner was waiting for him and Levi was probably hungry.

“I’ve prepared some dinner if you’re hungry,” (y/n) said looking up at her husband and he nodded.

“Who am I to refuse a meal from my wife?”

A/N: Thanks for reading!! Feel free to reblog, and lemme know what you think in your comments below 🥰🥰🥰