#[ even if she's big on collecting pokemon ]

[yamujiburo]

Got a few asks about what Pokemon I think Jessie and James would have if 1. they didn't just have the gacha machine and only caught Galarian Pokemon and 2. if they had the chance to go to Paldea

GALAR

Jessie: Sandaconda, Snom➡️Frosmoth, Impidimp➡️Morgrem

Sandaconda is a snake Pokemon. Jessie should be allowed to have all snake Pokemon. Period. Love the idea of her finding it and being unsure of what the hell she's looking at because it's all coiled up but upon it briefly uncoiling she falls in love.

Jessie should have had an Ice Type Pokemon at some point for real. Snow and ice play two big roles in her backstory (eating snow/growing up in a snowy location and her mother disappearing in an avalanche). Her having a lil Snom that's not particularly useful but that she grows to love would be so CUTE. They eat snow together!! Then I love the idea of her going from not thinking much of it to getting more and more attached to it over the series and then having it evolve to Frosmoth after some time (it'd remind her of her old friend Dustox)

Okay this one's gonna take a little explaining but I think it'd be so funny if at the same time, Jessie catches a Hatenna and James catches an Impidimp (mostly because Jessie wants the cute one). BUT Impidimp starts gravitating to Jessie because of her negative energy, which it feeds off of. She's much easier to prank and irritate than James, who's too much of a sweetheart and a little less susceptible to pranks. Jessie never finds out that Impidimp is the one pranking her but notices that it's taken a liking to her for some reason so she and James end up trading their Hattena and Impidimp with each other. It later evolves into Moregrem

James: Polteageist, Toxel, Hatenna➡️Hattrem

I think James is a tea lover, and enjoyed fancy teas when he was a child. Since he's a collector of bottlecaps and Pokeballs, I could see him also collecting teapots/teacups. Maybe they're in a haunted mansion one day and he grabs a teapot thinking it's a rare find but it's actually a Pokemon to his surprise. Also I think he deserves to have an Antique form, so it IS a rare find.

James having another baby Pokemon to fawn over like Mime Jr. would be so cute. It's an egg that the trio find but Jessie's too lazy to take care of it and Meowth's traumatized after the Togepi situation, not wanting to go through all that again. Toxel is born and it's James' everything. It's a bit bratty and constantly vying for his attention, usually by shocking and poisoning him but luckily James has built up an immunity to both those things thanks to Pikachu and Mareanie.

As stated before, James catches Impidimp initially but trades it for Jessie's Hatenna. Hatenna was NOT okay with the amount of emotions Jessie brought to the table and couldn't stand to be around her, often going to James who's much calmer between the two of them. Annoyed by it not liking her and finding that Impidimp DID like her, Jessie demands suggests a trade, which James is okay with as he's been growing attached to Hatenna. After it evolves into Hattrem, it starts (affectionately) smacking him whenever he shows too much emotion, carrying on the "James' Pokemon beat the shit out of him" legacy.

PALDEA

Jessie: Flittle➡️Espathra

Flittle just seems fitting for Jessie. She's always wanting a cute little baby Pokemon but funnily enough, never really gets one in the show. She absolutely pampers it and dresses it up. It eventually evolves into Espathra. Still being Jessie's mini-me, it often mimics her, particularly when Jessie's angry

James: Arboliva

Arboliva just feels like a Pokemon James would have LMAO. I think it'd be really sweet if after a particularly bad blast off, Arboliva finds Team Rocket and helps nurse them back to health even though they're mostly okay. They're grateful to it, James captures it and it continues to try mother all of them (in a less aggressive way than Bewear).

Shared: Scovillain

Listen. It'd be SO funny if Jessie and James shared a Pokemon. They see two Pokemon in the tall grass one day. A Pokemon with a red head and a Pokemon with a green head. Only having one Pokemon each at this time, they decide it's a good idea to catch another each. They throw their Pokeballs at the same time and the catch is successful! Just one problem. They find out the two Pokemon they tried to catch was actually just one Pokemon and they don't know which of the Pokeballs they threw was the one that actually caught it. They argue about it for quite a while but then agree to share custody. Leads to some funny scenarios where they're both trying to direct it in a battle. The red head prefers Jessie and the green head prefers James.

[xxtc-96xx]

Rant about the mirage special.

well I guess I just did with the whole "mirage bad except mew we love mew" and the fact they try way too hard to make us feel bad for it

I think you could count like six mewtwo deaths for one mew death they drag it out so long so you have to see how sad everyone is, and Oak looks honest to god distraught, like way more than ever before XD

they're more upset here than all of the collective deaths of pokemon we've seen before and after. and like I said before, this mew only hangs around back looking sad, getting tortured, beaten up and dying, it only does one thing at the end and even then holding mewtwo is obviously tormenting it so you see it in even more pain there. I know pokemon always had a thing about putting any pokemon protagonist in movies and specials through the wringer but this was so excessive XD

(also because it's the new cast for the first time they have some pretty awkward line reads too, it's pretty funny)

the whole thing with Misty possibly dying and no one cares XD even when Ash honest to god says "oh yeah I forgot" goes to call down the big stairway "hey misty where are yoooouuu?" without any sense of urgency, then Mew wants him to follow it which I assumed it was initially going to take him down the stairs to find where Misty fell...no, mew takes him somewhere else to where Oak is with bad guy doctor and later on Misty shows up with May and Ash is like "oh yeah you ok" not even directly to Misty. In fact she probably would have died for real had May not just happened to be around to catch her. ALSO it was pikachu and Ash's fault she was flung to her assumed demise in the first place XD

I'm probably being mean but eh I always found it super silly and dumb

[starsluver]

Random Facts About the Slytherin Boys

Part 1

Mattheo Riddle

In the first year, no one believed that he was related to Voldemort. mainly because no one thought he'd have a child

He also fluently speaks Spanish since he was raised by his mother (ngl I believe that Mattheo is either Guatemalan, Mexican, Colombian, or Puerto Rican) cause his father didn't want anything to do with him until he got older

Had a side part phase for most of his first through fourth year because his mom liked it until his fifth year where he learned how to take care of his natural hair and he takes VERY big pride in it, he literally spends all his money and time on it and REFUSES to let anyone touch it.

He got the scar on his eyebrow from trying to give himself a slit eyebrow in his third year because he'd thought he'd look cool but ended up with a scar and his mom yelling at him but tells everyone he got it from a fight

He got the scar on his nose in his sixth year from banging his nose on a sink but tells everyone that he got from a fight with a guy from racenclaw (Theo's the only one that knows the truth)

Secretly a theatre kid

Has the messiest hand writing, literally no one can read it.

Silver Tooth Kid activities !!!!!!

He had perfect grades until 5th year when he started slacking off cause his dad would always pressure him to get good grades

had a THICK Spanish accent and was kind of used to get made fun of for it. He barely speaks it around people which is pretty much why most people completely forget he's Latino

Made friends with Blaise, Enzo, Theo, and Draco in that exact order

Blaise thought Mattheo looked like he was gonna cry when his mom dropped him off at the train station first year. so he and Mattheo played on his Nintendo DS the whole train ride

Enzo soon met Mattheo in their second year after Blaise introduced them.

Afterward, Enzo introduced Theo to Mattheo that same year. They bonded over the fact no one else understood what they were saying and that they had deadbeat dads

"Blaise, what are they saying?"

"Don't know but at least they're getting along!"

His middle name is Andrés

He grew up with two cats and a dog. He had a ginger cat named Garfield who died from obesity because Mattheo wouldn't stop feeding him table scraps. He currently still has a black cat who he named Loki until later on finding out it was a girl because she got pregnant and had kittens, renames her Kali (inspired by Kali Uchis 😛) he currently has a pitbull named Dodger

He met Draco through Blaise again

"why do you talk like that?"

"why does your face look like that?" In a HEAVY Spanish accent

Used to bite people he didn't like

Sassiest 1st year

He was so obsessed with death note in his third year that he'd put the names of people he didn't like in the book hoping they'd just randomly drop dead. (They didn't)

He had a crush on Padma Patil since his FIRST YEAR TO HIS SIXTH YEAR. And even thought of asking her to the yule ball until he realized she was going with Ron. He beat Ron up as soon as he found out and told him to stay away from his girlfriend. (He never even had a conversation with her)

Theodore Nott

He was SUCH a cute 1st year. All the older girls would tell him how cute he was and he thought he was sooooo cool.

Didn't know English until his second or third year and barely anyone understood what he was saying.

Enzo met Theo when he saw Theo alone on the train ride. Enzo showed Theo his Pokemon collection cause neither of them understood each other and Enzo was basically his only friend at the time.

"anch'io ho quella carta!"

"🤨🤨🤨"

Eventually Enzo introduced him to Blaise and Mattheo. Where him and Mattheo bonded the most

"è un tale sollievo che qualcuno mi capisca!"

"¿que es eso güey?"

Theo met Draco long after through Lorenzo again

"why can't anyone here speak proper English?!?"

"il furetto,"

"Ki sa l menm ap pale de?" (I feel like Blaise is Haitian on his mom's side idk why but I'll explain it in the next part!)

"pinche guëro"

He was named after his father and had two middle names. Niccolo and Brando (the real ones know)

He grew up in the country side of Italy and was a VERY energetic child

He started smoking after a random 5th year asked if he wanted a hit in his 1st year

Perfect grades and handwriting

He's secretly friends with Neville and Luna because they secretly sell weed on the side but also the fact that he was also a loner and refuses to let any of his friends bully them.

Had a crush on Ginny and thought of asking her to the yule ball until Mattheo told him she was dating Dean Thomas (he cried himself to sleep)

[bloodheartz]

gimmw your gfalls hcs NOEWWW

oh god! I have soooo many but i'll put some basic ones down for the pines family rn and probably add on to this later ^_^

Dipper

◇ First of all this boy is absolutely autistic. My little autistic ass acted so much like him as a kid, I mean, what autistic 12 year old wouldn't base their entire summer around a weird book full of monsters they found?

◇ I think he's a trans dude and aro/ace, and that his crush on Wendy was more comphet than anything. I'm not really a fan of any ship involving him but I think platonic dipcifica could be cute.

◇ Cryptozoology/The Paranormal is absolutely his main special interest, but he also has an sp/in in computers/comp sci (but he's honestly not great at computer stuff).

Mabel

◇ AuDHD Queen! I think her main special interest is absolutely arts / crafts, I mean look at all the silly things she makes throughout the series as well as her dedication to handmaking dozens of puppets/props/etc as well as writing and entire play to impress her crush of the week in Sock Opera. ◇ I think sexuality wise she's not straight but prefers to be unlabelled. I also like to think she's the type to collect xenogenders / neopronouns like pokemon cards. ( she totally uses a bunch of cat-based pronouns) ◇ Shortly after the series I think she'd get a little less Boys-Crazy and focus more exploring who she is as a person / her self expression. Absolutely is gonna have a mall goth/emo/scene phase (she's smushing all three of those together into one thing for herself).

(I also think Mabel and Dipper were born identical twins)

Grunkle Stan

◇ Also AuDHD, not quite sure what his big main special interest would be but he's absolutely hyperfixated on Ducktective. Also going off the story in Lost Legends I think he'd absolutely be getting into making comics / drawing in general (even if hes not great at it). Post series I think he'd spend a lot of his free time out at sea drawing in the boat's cabin. Mostly making comics of silly re-tellings of he and Ford's adventures out at Sea (he absolutely shows Dipper and Mabel these if he and Ford video calls them when they're on land) ◇ I'm a transfem Stanley truther. He doesn't really realize/come to terms with it until post-series. I think she'd just grow out her hair and throw it in a pony-tail + use she/he pronouns to transition. She'd still use the name Stanley and be fine with both masc/fem terms (ie fine be called a man or a woman). Also he's bisexual (but has known this since he was like a teen, even if he didn't have the words to label it.) ◇ I think his Popsicle addiction from the unaired pilot is real and canon. Old autistic men love popsicles just look at my dad and grandfather.

Ford

◇ oh boy its projection time (i am a stanford pines fictive) 😈😈😈

◇ Transmasc, somewhere under the nonbinary umbrella but very guy adjacent. Mainly uses he/him pronouns but I think he'd use "it" and "they" aswell. Gay and Arospec as well. ◇ Autism + NPD + Schizophrenia wombo combo. He's sooooo NPD coded its INSANE, I am going to write an essay about it in the future. Goes without saying that his special interests are the paranormal and various sciences, but I think he has a hardcore love for the arts as well. ◇ Going off both the autism and arospec HC- I think he's the type to convince himself he has a crush very easily, when in reality he just has a strong admiration / platonic love for those in question, and had strong platonic feelings for McGucket back in college that he confused for romantic ones (projecting 100000000%) (i think the Stan twins were fraternal twins)

[satoshy12]

Percy and the Magikarps

The Pokemon World and the PJ World are the same. And since the Pokemon Gods spend most of their time in the world, it's easier for Poseidon and the others to visit their children, while Arceus and the others make sure they don't destroy the world or anything like it. A much friendlier and safer place, which led to Poseidon visiting Percy and Sally many times.

Poseidon walked out of the ocean as he reached the island, each step a mixture of grace and power as the evening tide lapped against the shore behind him. The sky was painted with shades of orange and pink, the sun slowly sinking towards the horizon. He inhaled deeply, savoring the salty breeze that carried the whispers of his ocean home. 

His destination was a house near the beach, quite isolated and quite big, it had been a gift to Sally. And the place where his mortal lover, Sally Jackson, and her young son, Perseus/Percy, lived.

In his hands, Poseidon held two new Magikarps, their scales glistening like molten gold and rubies in the fading light. Most of his former demigod children had regarded these creatures as little more than a nuisance, but his tiny Percy treasured them beyond measure! 

He can even understand them! 

Not many of his Demigods understand Water Pokemon that well, or at all! Ha! Kyogre was also surprised when he told him about it! 

As he approached the front door, he could hear his son's happy babbling near the water, mingled with the rhythmic lapping of the waves. Other parents would fear for him, but Sally's Pokemon were all around him, and the Magikarps were making sure he was OK too. Oh! He had some new Gyrados! He hadn't heard that they had evolved. 

With a gentle stride, so as not to surprise Percy, he moved and stepped inside, his presence filling the room with an air of ancient power and warmth.

"My little prince," he called, his voice a rich, soothing rumble. "Look what I have brought you!"

Hearing his father's voice, Percy toddled into the courtyard on unsteady legs, his chubby hands reaching out in excitement. 

His cherubic face lit up with pure joy when he saw the Magikarps. "Ma-gi-karp! Paa-paa!" he squealed, his words an adorable mixture of babble and genuine joy.

"Yes! Daddy brought you Magikarps! Who is my clever boy you are! You are!" 

Sally Jackson, hearing Poseidon's voice, appeared near them, her hair a cascade of dark curls framing a face that was equal parts annoyed and amused.

 She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe as she looked at Poseidon with a raised eyebrow. "Would you stop it, Poseidon? Percy already has over a thousand of them!"

Poseidon chuckled as he heard a deep, resonant sound that seemed to vibrate through the room. He knelt down and carefully placed the Magikarps in Percy's eager hands. "Look how happy he is," he said, his voice filled with paternal pride and a hint of mischief.

Percy, now clutching the new additions to his growing collection, began to rock back and forth, humming a tuneless song that gradually turned into a sweet melody. "Magi, Magi, Magikarp! Bite and splash!" he sang, his voice high and clear, filled with the innocent joy that only a child can possess.

Sally looked at her son as the Pokemon used a move they "shouldn't be able to do". Since when can they bite?"

Poseidon himself was surprised: "I have no idea, I will ask the others later. Did he teach them that?" 

Sally shook her head, a laugh bubbling up despite her efforts to remain serious. "But he certainly inherited your love of the sea," she said, moving to stand beside Poseidon. She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

Poseidon watched his son, a tender smile playing on his lips. "No question, look how happy he is," he murmured, his eyes soft with affection.

Percy continued his song, his tiny voice carrying through the house. The Magikarps floated gently to the movement of his hands, their eyes reflecting the same innocent wonder that shone in Percy's and love for him.

By evening, Percy had fallen asleep from playing with the Pokemon, and his mother carried him to bed. The Magikarps returned underwater to the Gyrados as Poseidon and Sally exchanged glances. Poseidon knew that Sally was a powerful Water-type trainer, and he respected her skills. So he wasn't afraid for her, even though the Pokemon wouldn't hurt her or Percy.

Poseidon returned to the ocean when Sally led him away. He has work to do too, and he can't bring her Magkarps again! when he visits her.

She should have seen it coming when he returned with 2 Krabby's... 

[erabu-san]

tighnari saying cyno and sethos are like brothers at the end of this quest... cyno really is collecting siblings like pokemon. good for him!!

Yeeeessss!!

In my HC, Cyno put a lot of attention in family.

Firstly because Cyrus was his only one family when he was a kid with amnesia, but also he grown up with Lisa as colleague under the same professor, but both of them consider Cyrus as a parental figure : without saying anything, a link it made of brother/sister. Cyno never knows his family by blood, and I think he was curious once. But he is satisfy with his current family ! And for him, family doesn't need to blood related. And if I remember well, Cyno said (during Windblum event, EVENT EXTREMELY IMPORTANT FOR ME 😭🫶) something like it is pretty current people in Akademiya becomes a family for study. It was his case ! Cyrus becomes his dad figure, Lisa, her senior, is like a big sister (I wouldn't never forget when she calls him little brother/baby brother) (AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA !!! <3). And when in windblum Cyno came visited Lisa, during their conversation, Cyno is the one mentionning the family bond she has with Cyrus "you are also part of the family, Lisa. It is normal for a daughter to talk like his father" (*CRYING*)! It sounds a tiny detail but I feel like this is so important for him.

Then came Tighnari, aka the first friend he had ever ! (I am a bit lost in chronology tho. In Tighnari's backsto, we learn they met when Cyno was already the general mahamatra while Tighnari was a student new-ly popular. But in Cyno's quest, we learn that they were student when they met ?? So Cyno was student and General ? 🤔 welp, I am still unsure but now I include it in my HC/brainrot kskdkd). And also Collei ! Collei is a bit more complicated, in term that she wasn't comfortable around him for a long time being. But even when she wasn't comfortable around him at first, she still gave him a bookmark handmade during windblum and saying he is like a family for him (I AM ON THE FLOOR). Tighnari and Cyno both consider Collei like a little sister, and bahaha when they "fight" about "who is the older one" and tighnari don't want to admit this loser being the older oh gosh i love theeeeeeem (I will never recover from "oh yeah but you're younger in your head, Collei could be your big sis !" "I wouldn't never say I am the youngest !!! Except if it is for an opportunity for winning TCG by shocking my opponent.." cyno you are so real). But during this windblum event again, Cyno said something like "you know Collei, tighnari said we are not an akademiya family, and he doesn't want to work on a post together" and this is SUPER IMPORTANT because for Cyno, as you can see earlier, only had family by study (Cyrus, Lisa). He worked, studied and published with his father and Lisa. And also, he did homework with Tighnari that he considers like a brother in soul. But the fact he was "refused" to do work with Collei and him, kind of make him feel to tell Collei "yeah we r family but, tighnari... ):"

As Tighnari answered "You know, we can consider ourself as a normal family" AND THAT'S SOSO IMPORTANT. In my HC, Tighnari is the one in group having a "good family" (not in sumeru cast, I believe it is Nilou who has the healthiest family). He knows what a family is supposed to, he grew up with parents who teach him a lot of thing and he explored with them. Anyway Tighnari is a healthy kid, he knows that they don't need to work on a project together to be a family. Oh and that's also why I HC him Aromantic, AroAce persons value platonic and familyship a lot more than romantic, so he doesn't know mind that Collei and Cyno who are not blood related to him are like a true family for him !

(Before continue, I want to talk his bond with Collei ; I believe he can relates on how Collei suffered from the seal, because Cyno who might forget his past, he remembers the pain. That's how in Tighnari's voiceline, Cyno often check how Collei is going w/o her noticing. Even when Collei was aware of Cyno and under Tighnari care, he was ready to help her. And in the first story quest, Tighnari said that she still awares of him. I wonder how often they talk abt Collei !! I am sure Cyno shares to Tighnari how much he woud like to get along with her, and that's how Tighnari gives him opportunity like this one official art when in description Tighnari said "I asked Collei to bring Cyno")

And so, that's how in Cyno's quest we were able to see all his closest friends. Tighnari Collei Kaveh Alhaitham Candace Dehya Faruzan (and Traveler). Everyone was worried for him, was wishing to help him, and was here for him. And Cyno also noticed he is less alone (GOOD FOR HIM). And now, there is Sethos, a man coming from nowhere in this life, but an important man ; they didn't spend life together but they can feel a deep connection bcuz of both of their backstory. Sethos might be the closest to understand all his doubt a long time ago (and Cyno IS the closest person for Sethos to relate). And IN CYNO'S VOICELINE ABOUT SETHOS "Aren't we his best friends of whole Sumeru city ?! 😐" Cyno pulled the power of friendship and adopt him in his big family circle.

ANYWAY WOW IT IS ONLY 8AM AND I AM HERE ALREADY YAPPING ABOUT CYNO BAHAHAHA

But genshin impact is for me more family impact that anything 😭 🫶 (and that's also why I am stuck with sumeru while FONTAINE AND THE HOUSE OF HEARTH ARE JUST RIGHT HERE ?!?!) after all, we are playing a traveler who is searching their twin !

Thank you for reading my talk, anon

[liesmyth]

the locked tomb holiday exchange rec list

Behold! The good, the magnificent, the sad! The filth and the angst and the feelings! The weird shit that would make TazMuir proud! 💀🎉✨☠️🔥🎊

Here are some favourites from a skim of works posted for @tlt-holiday-exchange, both art and fic. They are MANY and they are JUICY. Find the entire collection HERE, and keep an eye on for authors reveal coming soon!

ART FILLS

A Beautiful Fairy Tale. Wake tells little Bomb a bedtime story but she can't mention a princess without talking about guillotines. Rated T.

Dubious Curiosity. Nona is curious. Nona loves everyone. And Nona wants Cam. (Camilla/Nona) Rated M.

Fingers In Her Mouth. Camilla Hect misses the Warden. Maybe he can lend a helping hand… even in death. (Camilla/hand!Palamedes) Rated M.

just guys being bros. Camilla/Gideon. Gideon touches a boob! A very happy new year to awkward butch lesbians everywhere. Rated T.

Pyrrha Dve Appreciation. Pyrrha & Nona, soft hugs! Rated G.

Stealing Breath. Camilla/Gideon butch-off make-out session. Rated G.

To Shreds, You Say? Pyrrha/Mercymorn/Wake fucking nasty. Rated E.

FIC FILLS

a buried and a burning flame. Coronabeth fucks Gideon's corpse. Rated E.

For all intents and purposes the corpse of the Ninth’s cavalier is a bad lay. That’s all fine, though.

a grave, deep and narrow. Camilla/Palamedes, GtN AU, Character Death, Tape Recorder Conversation Redux. Podfic included! Rated T

Only Lyctors were meant to leave the First House alive. Ianthe insists on bringing Coronabeth; Judith dies of her injuries. Camilla is stranded alone at Canaan House — alone, except for the persistent hallucinations of her necromancer.

affix. Coronabeth/Harrow, humiliation kink, improper use of bones, dom!Harrow, GtN era. rated E.

Cytherea doesn't go to Canaan House AU - Corona overconfidently approaches Harrow in the hopes of exchanging lab keys. Harrow humbles her quickly.

AITA for telling my dad I didn't like my birthday party? Gideon & John, In-Universe Social Media, Character study, Rated T.

I (20F) told my dad (45?M) that I wanted a cool birthday party, but he threw me a terrible birthday party instead. Am I really the asshole for telling him I didn't like it?

and kings shall come out of thy loins. Gideon/Ianthe, crack treated seriously, body horor, SNAKES. Rated M.

Ianthe saves God from the stoma and the River and all she has to show for it are these fucking snubes.

come, dearest heart. Lyctor Palamedes AU, HtN era. Camilla/Palamedes, Pyrrha/Palamedes, Pyrrha/Camilla/Palamedes. Rated E.

In Canaan House, Palamedes Sextus unwillingly ascends to Lyctorhood to put an end to Cytherea the First's rampage. He's left heartbroken, grieving, and terribly, terribly lonely.

Don't Care If You Think I'm Dumb (I Don't Care At All). Gideon/Ianthe, Gideon as Kiriona, Unwholesome Tower Princes Bonding ft. bad sex and retail therapy. Rated E.

The newly christened Kiriona Gaia is not having a good time on the Mithraeum. At least she has Ianthe there to make her worse.

Follow Your Dreams, Never Let Them Die. Gideon/Harrow, Pokemon trainers AU! Rated T.

On her Pokemon Journey, Gideon Nav approaches the mysterious Drearburh City Gym - but something feels oddly familiar.

Gaia's Natural Market. modern AU, retail hell, Harrow/Gideon, Harrow/Ianthe, Gideon/Ianthe. Rated T

RING-A-DING-DING, the Holiday's are here! And nothing says "Give!" like the bounty of the Mother Herself, so come on by to GAIA's Natural Market! Treat your family to a home-cooked meal with only the PUREST of ingredients - all Produce Organic, all Products non-GMO, and all Smiles Authentic and free of Toxins!

Good Girl. Coronabeth/Ianthe, puppyplay, muzzles, rated E.

Coronabeth is Ianthe's big dicked bimbo puppy. Ianthe's into it.

Goodnight, New Rho. Camilla & Nona. Domestic Fluff, Missing Scene. Rated G.

Nona gets a bedtime story. Camilla reminisces about growing up with an older sister. They both sleep well, despite a notable lack of dogs.

In the Empire of the Deeps. Gideon/Nona/Ianthe, Gideon/Ianthe, Pirate AU, monsterfucking-adjacent, Nona is an eldritch sea creature. Rated E.

A chance encounter on the beach. Ianthe is manipulative, Kiriona is sad, and Nona is not as innocent as she seems. Sometimes, you might yearn for one person and meet another one. Sometimes, you have to take what you can get.

just like normal. Ianthe/Coronabeth, Cytherea is also there. Penis in vagina sex, Exhibitionism, Squirting. Rated E.

Ianthe gives herself a cock, and Corona is increasingly bewildered that she hasn’t been allowed to sit on it yet.

language of its own. Camilla/Palamedes. Worldbuilding, idiots to lovers, pre-canon. Rated T.

Camilla Hect has to do an erotic poetry final.

Masochism Tango. Porn with feelings, knifeplay, vivisection, lyctor-typical everything. Rated E.

Two occasions in which Pyrrha Dve had the pleasure of being under Cytherea's knife, and Mercymorn had the pleasure of Pyrrha Dve.

METHODS OF SUBDUCTION. Judith/Cornabeth, Judith & Varun. Planetary science rizz. Rated M.

Varun the Eater teaches Judith Deuteros how to flirt.

midnight mass. Mercymorn/Cristabel, pre-canon, Character Study. Rated T.

A lifetime before the resurrection and two decades before the apocalypse, a novice nun and a third-year medical student discuss goodness, passion, and salvation at midnight on Christmas morning.

motherhood. Mercymorn uses flesh magic on Wake. Hate sex ensues. Body horror, motherhood as violence, canon compliant. Rated E.

“I will kill you,” you say, with all the placid fervor of a religious convert. When you’re on the edge of real violence, you lose that tense little furrow in your brow—it’s beautiful, really. “Please give me a reason.”

My Love Overflows. Corona/Ianthe, Strap-on, Dirty talk, Impact Play, Hair Pulling, Bladder control. Rated E.

The one in which Corona pisses all over herself at Ianthe's whims.

name and rank. Judith/Coronabeth, Judith & Varun. Judith's failwoman swag! Rated T.

As Judith lies dying, she has nothing but time. Varun the Eater uses it to teach her how to flirt with the Princess. Don’t worry. Varun has got this!

New Rule. Mercymorn/Pyrrha, Ranch AU, stablehand Pyrrha, boss/employee relationship. Rated E.

Never hire stablehands who are too handsome and capable for their own good.

no shade in the shadow of the cross. Cytherea/Mercymorn, angst, fisting, two pillow princesses NOT making it work! Rated E.

Cytherea and Mercymorn have an ill-timed tryst.

per my last email. Camilla/Palamedes. Academia, banter. On peer review and multitasking. Rated M.

“Warden,” she said patiently, “you want me so badly it’s making you stupid."

RISKING OUR LIVES FOR UNIVERSITY HOLE???? 🤯😳 University AU, Team 69. The hole is a basement to be clear! Rated T.

The difficult part of visiting the local haunted house for a feature in the university magazine is not actually the visiting; it’s the writing about it afterwards.

So Messed Up. Ianthe/Coronabeth. Puppy play, collars & leashes, tail plug. Rated E.

Ianthe using her flesh magic to give Corona a big cock for petplay because she loves the idea of her sister being a big dicked bimbo puppy girl who just wants to rut into her.

The Great Gamete Gambit. Camilla & Palamedes, Pre-canon, worldbuilding, sixth house reproductive practices. Rated G.

Palamedes and Camilla have an important package to send, but there's been a heist in the gamete repository! Can the 15-year-old Master Warden and his cavalier crack the case?

The Sextus Scandal. Camilla/Palamedes, Epistolary, Pre-Canon Divergence. Rated E.

Transcripts and documents relating to the disciplinary hearing and subsequent resignation of Master Warden Palamedes Sextus.

Ways to Be Perfect. Babs/Colum Asht, GtN era, Rated M.

When Naberius first glanced across the supper table at Colum Asht, he didn’t immediately get the impression that he was liked.

The end!

Thank you for making it this far. If you enjoyed any of these works, or anything else in the collection, please drop a comment to make our creators feel appreciated <3

[post creators reveal exchange wrap post]

[siswritesyanderes]

This thought has been living rent free in my mind for so long..

what if Calrsile and Esme found out their mate/ darling/ little is actually living in an abusive home? like, they didn't even need Alice to see it first to know, the marks are just clear on their darling's body and face! how would they react, giving their calm and collected personalities, would they want to take revenge/kill their darling's abusers? would they allow someone else to do it for them?! or would they let it slide and be satisfied by just kidnapping/taking their baby home?

I'm literally screaming into my pillow for this 😭

Oooh, I kind of answered a similar ask before, but that one wasn't agere.

I think the situation I'm imagining, as the most satisfying one, is: Carlisle and Esme find out at the same time, Esme kills the abusers immediately and Carlisle makes one halfhearted attempt to stop her and then focuses on tending to their (now very frightened) darling.

"She-! What's happening?" their darling whimpers, as Carlisle shushes them while tenderly dabbing at a bruise or cut on their face.

In the background, Esme is murdering people, but Carlisle urges their darling to just look at him and focus on breathing and maybe distracts them by getting them to choose between different colorful band-aids. "Excellent choice! Daddy loves Charmander, too." (And thaaaat's canon now! That's right, the Cullens are big into Pokemon. I stand by that. It tracks.)

And then when Esme's done, she's all sweet and "Mommy's sorry she scared you! Mommy's sorry. We just wanted to protect you and make you safe. You're safe now, okay? Here, let Mommy hold you."

And then they take their darling home.

[magpod-confessions]

i love wlw tma ships i collect them all like pokemon . big fan of wtgfs, daisira, melanie/helen, sasha/melanie, gertrude/agnes, agnes/jude, other ones i’m probably forgetting abt

i’m gona go on a bit of a rant but i feel like so many tma wlw ships have SO much potential . especially helen/melanie, i wish we saw more of slaughter melanie and how it effected her mental state and her relationships w other people . seeing her get worst as helen encourages it . i feel like we don’t rly saw the distortion be all fucked up and insane, especially with michael. we only hear statements about how he’s tormenting other people, but we never see the true weirdness he can cause . he follows sasha and puts tim n martin in the hallways, but that’s kinda it . i wanna see REAL weirdness and that could’ve been explored in such a cool way w melanie n helen !!

gertrude/agnes is fucking crazy to me too . imagine your whole life you’ve been leading up to this big moment that you were born for, that everyone expects from you , but it all gets taken away cuz ur in some weird Till death do we part deal w a random woman you’ve never met . but from there, u start appreciating the little things in life and feeling more grounded in a way you have never before . likeHELLO agnes sat in the same coffee shop everyday . w the same silly coffee order . just to look out at the world and Try to feel more human . she called gertrude her anchor ?!??????? What even . what even !!!

.

[hedgiwithapen]

DHD: Stargate coordinates lead to [DC Comics-based dimension of your choice]

(as per messages, they are going somewhere not DC....)

The Malp showed that P-zero-K-EEE had a breathable atmosphere, decently variable temperature within acceptable range for visiting, and spectacular stone ruins. None of it looked familiar to Teal'c

"Should be fun," Jack said, putting an extra tissue packet in his pocket for Daniel. Even with the allergy medications, the poor guy could really sneeze up a storm after gate travel. 

"I can't wait to get a closer look at some of those fallen statues. They could give us an idea of what, if any, goa'uld have been there, but also so much about the civilization that existed there... If they had stoneworking technology long enough ago that--"

"Save it for after we get planetside and you actually see these rocks," Jack advised. 

The trip through the Stargate was a jolt, as always. Only it usually took mere moments, and ended with the team on solid, or solid enough, footing. 

This time, the journey continued as everyone plunged from the sky.

"Brace," Sam called a moment before they hit the sand.  

Teal'c rolled up onto an elbow. "Hm."

"Hm?" Jack groaned, sitting up himself. "That's all you got? Is hm?"

"A fall like that should have killed us." Teal'c replied. "I am uncertain as to why it didn't."

"Oh, look." Sam pointed  skyward. A massive dark spiral hung over the top of a mountain, spitting bits of lightning. "That thing must have interfered with the Stargate."

"What is it?" Jack asked.

"Well, sir, if I knew, I wouldn't have called it 'that thing', now would I?"

"She's got a point," Daniel pointed out, sneezing sand out of his nose. "No sign of the Stargate or Dial Home Device, but obvious signs of civilization..." he gestured to the dock, a single moored rowboat and shack, and in the distance, a bit of smoke over the trees and hills. "Probably a town..."

"Hello!" called a voice. A man in a white coat and purple hat ran down what had to be a path towards them, panting. "Are you alright? I saw you fall from the sky."

"We did do that." Teal'c said. 

"Are you all alright?" the man asked.

"Peachy," Jack said.

"I'm Dr. Daniel Jackson," Daniel intervened. "Sorry, could you tell us where we are? And if you've seen a Stargate--that is, a big--"

The man cut him off with an answer. "You're on Prelude Beach, of course. My, you are an odd bunch. Such unusual clothing!"

"Sure," Sam agreed. "Now, about the Stargate...?"

"Stargate," the man repeated. "I can't say that I've ever heard of that. Stars...Celestial...  oh! Do you mean the Celestica ruins?"

"Yes!" Daniel grabbed on. "Could you take us there?"

"First, could you tell us your name?" Jack said, pointedly.

"I'm Professor Laventon. And...I would, but I'm quite busy with my own research right now. Speaking of-- oh, dear." He looked around, as if trying to spot something. 

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"Three of the pokemon I was studying seem to have eluded me. Again. Would you mind helping me gather them?"

Jack coughed. Everyone turned to glance at him, sidelong. 

"I'm sorry," he said. "Pokemon? Like... Pikachu?"

"I haven't managed to catch a pikachu for my studies yet," the professor said, a little down cast.

"What is a pokemon, and how is it that you know of them,  Colonel O’Neill?" Teal'c asked.

"I don't," Jack said, his voice tight. 

"Oh, they're the little... creature...things." Sam said, frowning. "I think they were on a box of poptarts Cassandra had last time I babysat."

The professor beamed. "They are fascinating creatures, indeed! I do not know what a pop tart is. I'm after three of them, but I'm simply... not as skilled at this as I'd like to be. my hand-eye coordination....eh." he wiggled a hand. "Would any of you assist me? I'm sure I can convince the commander to give us an escort to the Coronet Highlands and the ruins if you help with the pokedex project..."

"Pokedex?" Daniel asked. 

"Yes! a collection of studies and notes on the habits and abilities of all kinds of pokemon to be found in Hisui! I have some, of course, already, but it's not proving to be a very easy task. I was studying a rowlet, cyndaquil, and oshawott, but.."

Teal'c surveyed the grassy field to the right. "Do you mean the creature that appears to be an owl, made spherical?"

"Yes! That's rowlet. Oh, could you catch her for me?"

Teal'c rolled up his sleeves.

"Oh for cryin' out loud, with a pokeball," Jack said. 

"A what, sir?" Sam asked. 

"The thing that guy's got--sorry, professor Laverton, was it? The--thing--" 

"Laventon," the professor said offering Teal'c a small reddish orb. "It's a new invention. You simply throw it at the pokemon and--well, something happens. They appear to shrink down and sit comfortably inside!"

He passed out the remaining orbs. 

"So we catch these three, uh, pokemon," Daniel clarified, "and then you take us to the Ruins?"

"After we talked to the head of the survey corps. And probably some lunch. And I can secure housing for you! the village really could use more--"

"Oh, we're not staying long," Jack said.

"I have caught the rowlet," Teal'c announced. Not to be out done, Sam searched for one of the other creatures, a shrew looking creature that somehow produced fire from its back and caught it. 

"Amazing," she said, opening the pokeball to look at the creature. "How does it do that?"

"That, my dear, is exactly what I'm trying to figure out," the Professor said, clapping Daniel on the shoulder when he managed to drop a pokeball directly on the clown-otter-thing's head. "This way to the village, come with me.”

"Oh," Jack said. "We are staying long. Great."

(note: using the show’s timeline place the events of the movie in the year 1996, which makes it theoretically, technically  possible for Jack’s dead son to have been interested in pokemon right when it started to be a thing)

[roseglazedlens]

Hi Rose 🤍 My baby fever is off the charts rn!!! So can I get a hc of any of the RE characters as a baby/toddler in a daycare pls?

Ps: Ik I said any but Chris fs was a FAT baby and Leon was a mama’s boy (thinking about that one audio rn and im sobbing 🥹)

⦑ 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐄𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 ⦒

characters: leon s. kennedy, ashley graham, ethan winters, ada wong, chris redfield, claire redfield, carlos oliveira a/n: thank you maya for requesting bby!! my queen!!! also look at me getting too into this, i love these characters so so much! check out re character's reaction & their s/o's dog ! « masterlist┇reblogs appreciated! »

LEON S. KENNEDY

You are right! He is a mama's boy!!

On his first few weeks of daycare, Leon would cry the longest every time he's been dropped off.

Has a hard time adjusting to daycare, but gets used to it after making a few friends (notably chris & luis)!

He is always telling his friends and teachers in daycare about how his mama did this... mama did that... Leon is super proud of her.

Also Leon's the kind of kid who plays with cars, crashes them together and starts clapping (Not much different from the present)

ASHLEY GRAHAM

Teacher's pet just because she's always respectful, and sharing toys with her classmates.

Oftentimes, kids take advantage of that and take her toys.

Because of that, I think she's often neglected by her teachers since the other troublemaker kids need more attention, so to speak.

She would be friends with Claire as Claire would not hesitate to snitch on other kid's bad behaviour to the teacher.

Ashley loves little Sylvanian Families and play-doh - I see this developing into a slime making hobby as an adult!

ETHAN WINTERS

I'm getting the quiet, nerdy kid vibe for Ethan.

Toddler Ethan loves to collect trading cards, he doesn't necessarily know how to play the game, he just likes the glossy look of them.

I feel like he'll have trouble making friends in class because they don't understand what the cards mean to him.

Poor kid just wants someone to talk about Pokemon with.

Gets very excited about dinosaurs and will play the game "Who can name the most dinosaurs?" knowing he'll always win.

ADA WONG

Don't mess with Ada, or she'll have you regret it.

Even as a toddler, she would always get her way. Always be the first on swings.

Ada, even as a kid, enjoys her solitude and hates for that to be broken. She enjoys playing LEGO uninterrupted.

I can see her hating loud kids like Chris (And that's totally not because Chris trampled her LEGO town one time and she'd held that grudge for life)

Younger Ada teaches the other kids bad words, but somehow she is never caught, and never gotten in trouble.

CHRIS REDFIELD

Fat baby (he's just built this way)

'Accidentally' steals Claire's NERF guns, and feigns ignorance when he's confronted.

Big troublemaker at daycare. Teachers are always chasing him down but toddler Chris runs really fast.

100% Captain America enthusiast. He admires the act of serving his country, and that lead him to choose a career in military.

NERFs guns for life - I see him messing around and shooting the dart at other kids (especially Claire, usually to get back at her for snitching on him to mum)

CLAIRE REDFIELD

Younger Claire, who also inherited the Redfield attitude, takes no shit from anyone.

If Chris shoves her, Claire would shove back. And that may have resulted in a lot of sibling fights.

Strong believer of justice - Will pick fights with anyone, even big kids and adults, if she sees injustice.

Brutally honest kid - when someone asks for a compliment, she would say "That shirt makes you look fat" without batting an eye.

Alike Chris, she loves NERF guns (they often like the same guns, so it almost always turns into a brawl at the toy section)

CARLOS OLIVEIRA

Carlos, is the number one reason of all teacher's migraines in his daycare.

He is the class clown, so anything he says gets a reaction from the other kids in class (often disrupting them)

So the moment Carlos speaks (he is still focusing on whatever he's doing), the class erupts in laughter.

Toddler Carlos is the kid who mashes the music button on a toy repeatedly. A cheeky smile on his face, very entertained by it.

Also I see toddler Carlos on the trampoline a lot, often trying to jump as high as he can. Even though he is most definitely too young to be on the trampoline.

thanks for reading! come check out my other works. —yours truly, rose. tags: @valsthea @sporeghost @httpsuguru @emilzke @daydreamrot @navstuffs @custard0nut @ovaryacted © roseglazedlens — please do not repost, plagiarise, or feed to ai.

[bluephoric]

ridiculously long list of larry johnson hcs because fuck you he doesnt get enough love

Tw for depressing ass shit

- larry is a tired clumsy airhead, and as a result he always has SOMETHING spilled, wiped, or drawn on his clothes.

- undiagnosed adhd, and probably a few other things

- both him and sal collect bottlecaps, they like to make pins out of cool ones they find, often trading them like pokemon cards. they have multiple matching friendship ones. on common ones though, he likes to flatten and paint.

- larry's mental health generally sucks, but when things get really bad he stops caring about his physical safety, often pulling some reckless shit. even when he gets hurt from it, he doesnt seem to mind. Times like these kinda scare him, and he tries to avoid falling into them.

- despite seemingly "not caring about anything" (as he puts it) during these episodes, he's still fiercely protective of his friends and tries to be gentle with them, both physically and emotionally.

- callused hands, fingers yellowed from smoking.

- big fan of gas stations when he's high, practically raids that shit. one of his nicknames is "stoner jesus"

- he's openly bisexual and flirts with random people for fun. its usually something light. dorky pickup lines, stupid puns.. he Never expects it to be shot back at him but on the rare occasion it happens, he turns into a giggling mess.

- he actually pissed off travis even worse a few times with it, I could go into it further but this isnt a larvis post so i'll spare you all. For now.

- his favorite horror movies are the funny ones

- he isnt much of a drinker, mostly around holidays and just to get a little buzzed. spiked eggnog and fireball are his go-to's. Drunk christmas karaoke is one of his favorite things (he's constantly giving sal secondhand embarrassment). 2 words, mariah carrey.

- For awhile he genuinely tried to be a good student but because he was so far behind and his undiagnosed adhd, the teachers started to demonize him. Eventually he realized it didnt matter how hard he tried, so he just gave up. The only subject he likes is art, so that's where he focuses all his energy and actually tries.

- skips school sometimes but lisa tends to give him hell for it so he tries not to do it too often, mostly just skips certain classes if hes really not feeling it.

- almost always comes to school high

- his room is such a mess. sal tries to help him with it but he has similar struggles. whenever ash or todd come over, it becomes a group effort and shit gets done rather quickly. luckily no biohazards, so its not like his room really needs a DEEP clean but still. its nice.

- larry fucking LOVES jack black movies, also stupid stoner movies.

- Loves the arcade too, You'd think his favorite would be guitar hero, but that's more for sal. his favorite is mortal combat or those car racing games that you sit in with the steering wheel.

- larry cant cook for shit, hes always burning something, it always turns out gross and inedible. unless he's stoned, in which case he magically turns into a michelin star chef. weird ass combinations, but it always turns out really good.

- despite being shit at cooking, he still tries to help his mom with it, even though he mostly ends up just being in the way and she eventually shoos him out of the kitchen

- he smells super musky, with cheap cologne and the faint scent of weed

- when he was really little, he had a dinosaur onsie that he would wear everywhere, very rarely taking it off until it started to get too tight. he was beyond devastated when he realized he grew out of it, lisa had to pry it away from him in fear that he would accidentally destroy it. She keeps it in her closet collecting dust. Its one of the few things she kept from before jim disappeared. despite it bringing up memories of what things used to be like before he "left", she couldnt bear to throw it out.

- sometimes when larry needs comfort, he sneaks into her room and steals it temporarily. on sleepless nights, he zips it over his pillows as a makeshift pillowcase, its one of the few things that help him relax. It's always put back in place by the next morning. Lisa has no idea, and he's far too embarrassed about it to say anything to her.

- the only person who knows about this is sal because of their sleepovers. One night He was high as balls and got paranoid, when he tried to sleep it off the fear was just too much so away he crept, into lisa's room. Of course he made sal come with him, he sure as shit wasnt going alone.

- when questioned about it, larry refused to answer and so sal let it go figuring he would tell him when he was ready.

- Larry Harbors an obscene amount of guilt. struggles with sh off and on, tries not to relapse unless things get really unbearable. to prevent this, him and the SF gang (primarily ash) regularly doodle and sometimes paint on the places he's prone to harm.

- when he can feel himself slipping into an episode, larry makes it a point to braid his hair so it won't get matted. tries to brush it and rebraid it at least once a week, but often struggles to find the energy and lets it sit in for longer. Not to mention, a lot of the times he stops showering which makes it even harder to braid because of the greasiness.

- has given himself a few amateur stick and pokes. They look like shit, and he knows it but he's still very proud of them.

- the ink he uses for it fades pretty fast

- he's also tried to give himself piercings, but always fucks it up so he takes them out and slaps a bandaid over it

- collects different kinds of flavored chapstick, takes a bite out of them sometimes when he thinks no one is looking (ofc sal has caught him a few times but has never said anything)

- after he first met megan, he was scared shitless. slept with the lights on for the next few weeks and refused to shut the door when going to the bathroom, insisting to his mom on keeping the shower curtain open at all times (he tried to act chill about it around sal and it kinda worked. kinda.) after awhile he eventually calmed down but still finds himself getting really nervous whenever him and sal talk to a ghost, though he would never admit it.

- has a picture of his dad in a locket but rarely wears it because he's afraid he'll accidentally break it. always keeps it with him though, usually in his pocket, holding it as he walks.

- Despite his general demeanor he's quite the gentleman, always holding doors open and really courteous towards women. Most people don't expect it just based on his appearance, but Lisa raised him right.

- also he's hot as fuck.

- we all know larry is a metalhead, but what kind of metal is his favorite? It generally depends on his mood but id say sludge, thrash, and doom.

- You're telling me this man, who is depressed as fuck and also a stoner wouldnt eat up some electric wizard? saint vitus? bitch, please. I know quite a few albums that would bring him to his knees.

- And I know I'm prolly gonna get hate for this but I notice when a lot of other people write about larry (AND sal), they tend to lean towards nu metal or just plain emo. And while I don't think either of them would mind it, The lyrics and vocals of Sanity's fall feels more reminiscent of death or black metal and given the fact that SF is his favorite band, I don't think he would listen to that kind of stuff, at least not on a regular basis. Ash on the other hand definitely would.

[neos-schlond-poofa]

No, but seriously, imagine it:

Angie finally becomes human and starts a successful DJ-ing business and lets go of alcohol. Dani becomes a world-renowned athlete and falls in love with a cheerleader. Cassandra makes it huge on Broadway and beocmes an EGOT Winner, as well as falling in love with a nice paramedic from New York. Bela gets her heart back and becomes a school teacher, while also mending her relationships with her sisters. As for Alcina? She finds love in an artist and continues to build the finest art collection in the world. Donna takes up doll-making again and gets over her anxiety, creating a travelling store that sells her own custom creations and flowers. And Miranda? She lets go of her love for MC and adopts a young girl, letting go of her evil ways and closing down the school, realizing she was a bit insane. MC dies of a cocaine overdose. Elena finally becomes free of the coffee shop and starts her own coffee chain, which becomes even more popular than Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts. Mia's Pokemon collection ends up becoming the biggest in the world and she even gets her own character in the Pokemon games as a testament to how big of a fan she is. Heisenberg retires from his car repair shop and becomes a freelance welder. All the other students graduate and be successful in their lives. The Cass stans become stan twitter icons and end up becoming nurses. As all their futures unfold in the credits, Whistle by Flo Rida plays in the background as Cass arrives and starts to say "Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby, let me know. Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it and we start real slow. You just put your lips together and you come real close. Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby? Here we go!" And the screen fades to black, with a polaroid of all the characters waving and thanking the player for all they've done. Cue final credits. Then if things couldn’t get any better, Dan and Phil walk onto stage and kiss, holding the gay flag.

[rinstrumental]

ellie gf headcanons pt. 2

# i’m a headcanon machine i cant be stopped… also she is literally a cheesy ass lose girlfriend this part is actually canon confirmed by naughty dog. modern au

if your native language isn’t english/speak any language other than english she is going to think you’re ten times cooler than you already are. best believe she’s hopping on duolingo first thing she gets home too so she can impress you (i know duolingo isn’t the best but she’s TRYING)

she took spanish in high school though

even though she can’t retain the info for shit she will search up terms of endearment in your language and call you them all the time even if you think its corny she can’t stop

whenever someone asks her what her type is she just says “my girl” with the most stupid grin on her face

she fidgets SO much omg she doesn’t wear rings often but when she does (you said they looked nice one time and all of a sudden she’s wearing rings every time you see her) she’s constantly playing with them. she also plays with the strings of her hoodie/loose threads etc.

*playing basketball* “this one’s for you babe” *completely misses*

such a nerd for collectibles!! has been since she was a kid. she has funko pops, vinyls, pokemon cards, snowglobes, plushies, smiskis, calico critters she’s a slave to capitalism

little social media presence. her only instagram account is basically a photo dump which is private with only her closest friends following it. (spoiler alert, most of the pictures are of the two of you)

in the last post i said she’s have a pet gecko but i also strongly believe joel would have a dog. could be a teeny tiny chihuahua or a fucking great dane idk just give my man a good friend! ellie also loves that dog (whatever it is) dearly

doesn’t have any piercings and doesn’t ever consider it unless you say that they’d look good on her… your word is her law FR 😭😭😂😂

okay no she’s not dependent on you to the point of it being toxic though. HOWEVER it’s a bit hard for her to express when she feels upset sometimes and gets jealous easily but she tries her best to communicate and keep it healthy

she has her tattoos though of course. although this is a modern au so she’d have different ones i guess… forearm one is definitely in the cards but also lots of tiny little ones. a few for her friends and family and a few she got in a drunken stupor

pottery lesbian that’s it

gets SOOO red when she’s drunk i dont care what anyone says her alcohol tolerance is average at best

i think she would play a sport sometimes. like volleyball. she plays competitively if she’s in school and she always wants you to come “watch your girlfriend be cool”. bring a sign - she’ll love it

kisses and hugs u after the game while she’s all sweaty too…ew but aw

she also really likes animated movies, not disney but like how to train your dragon and the spiderverse and puss in boots (im projecting). she went to see barbie and oppenheimer on the same day and she didn’t dress up but the spirit was there!!

she’s not a gymbro per se but joel probably would have workout equipment in the basement which ellie uses from time to time. and she’s just naturally lean because she’s an active person. pls tell her how big and strong and sexy and amazing she is

ok fine i think she likes being praised AND SHE DESERVES ITT like she’s such a wonderful girlfriend ❤️ ugh shes perfect I CANT STAND HER

goodnight and good morning texts are part of her routine

sunburns easily so you have to remind her to wear sunscreen all the time

doesn’t really know how to do makeup but she’ll paint your nails for you and do your hair

whenever the two of you spend the night together she’s usually last to get up. this bitch could sleep through the rapture i’m not kidding but it’s okay because it gives you time to admire her pretty face as she sleeps in peace and quiet for once

takes the aux very seriously you guys HAVE to share it. unless you like the same music and i think she would like radiohead, joy division, deftones and loser sad songs like that…. she also is a big fan of the spiderverse soundtrack and kendrick lamar though and thee stallion 😜 (i have two wolves inside me)

please reblog mwah thank you!!

[crypticcowboys]

hi there, i absolutely love your writing! please may i request some general headcanons for mike x gn!reader where both he and the reader are autistic? i’m glad to see that someone else headcanons him as such :D i hope that’s not too vague!!

a/n: thank you for being my first ask :3! and ofc it's not too vague! this is going to be focused more on mike's traits and basically his interactions with you. this was also lowkey self indulgent. i actually really enjoyed writing this so i think i might make another one of these focusing just on him@))@ pairing: autistic/audhd!mike schmidt x autistic!gn!reader headcanons, also autistic abby (the entire family is autistic) warnings: brief mention of autistic meltdown, otherwise fluff. wc: 836 (i ran out of ideas.)

not proofread i wrote this while high

mike schmidt didn't find out that he was autistic until a lot later into his adult life-- only knowing that he had adhd. he always knew that abby was autistic, she had been diagnosed earlier into her life. but him? he never gave second thought to it. of course, he felt disconnected in a sense to the rest of the world. he was there, but he felt like nobody truly clicked nor resonated with him besides abby. of course, until he met you.

to say that mike was truly comfortable with you was an understatement. he didn't feel forced to make eye contact with you, and of course, ended up feeling comfortable enough with you to make full-on eye-contact... each and every time.

i feel like mike's love languages are definitely quality time and physical contact. he enjoys sitting in a room with you as a sort-of body double-- you two don't have to talk at all for him to have a good time with you. he enjoys being close to you, or being in a room with you, the both of you engaging in anything that you'd like. as for the physical touch part, he always needs to be connected with you in some way. in public, he's behind you, interlinking your arms or your hands together and giving you a soft squeeze. or when you're both in bed, and you two can actually fully hold eachother, this man needs pressure. he needs to feel like he's being pressed by a hydraulic press. either lay on-top of him or squeeze him from behind whilst he's the little spoon-he's in heaven.

mike definitely loves the sound of your voice. when you're talking he's pretty much giving you his full attention, even if he's not looking directly at you, or doing something else. he won't mind if you ramble about your special interest or your hyperfixation, he'll listen and ask you as many questions that pop into his mind. he's genuinely curious about what you're into!

as for mike's sPin/hyperfixations, i feel like one of the biggest hyperfixations he ever had as a child was pokemon. it's basic and mainstream, i know, but i feel like he especially took interest in card-collecting. i feel like he's a big collector in general-- he likes seeing physical groups of things that he either picks up or buys himself. he doesn't have much money to expand his collections now, but every once in a while he'll save up to expand them. i feel like he really enjoys miniature things-- like tiny things he can build. this may seem a bit childish to him and he'd never admit it-- but he likes calico critters because of the small objects. he can just never afford the sets. i feel like he also watches tiny cooking videos on his phone when he can't sleep.

mike's also a really big music enjoyer. i feel like he's always got his walkman on him-- several tapes. this man is a sade and jeff buckley enjoyer and you can't tell me any different.

despite the fact that he needs a job to support himself and abby-- mike is quick to burn out with work. he'll start off strong at first, and then later, everything down to the very air he could breathe in the place could just irritate him. besides all the stuff that happened at freddy's, it was... sort of a fresh breath of air, being his 'own boss.' no coworkers that couldn't understand the meaning of taking a break due to overstimulation to nag in his ear during rushes. not that rushes even really existed in the first place at freddy's. but for all his other jobs, he either got fired or outright quit less than 6 months of work because of his dull-minded managers. fast food was the worst-- he'd always encounter rude customers. he got a drink thrown at him, once, and he swore to never work fast food again. he does not back down on promises.

but whenever he does have burnout, or have a meltdown, mike instantly seeks you out first. he's clinging to you like a lifeline, feeling tears springing to his eyes whenever he's thinking about the amount of bills and fees he has to pay, or the chores he needs to do. he needs you to distract him from it all, he needs you to hold him tight and just distract him from everything. the burnout takes weeks to go away, but you and abby just make the experience so much smoother for him.

i feel like mike really enjoys going on road trips and long drives. no destination, just driving around with you and abby, making up dumb stories or you giving storytimes from your job that abby probably shouldn't be hearing, incase she starts picking up words like 'shit.' but she's already picked them up, honestly.

both you and abby are his lifelines. and the world wouldn't quite click if it weren't for you, especially.

[smutlord-supreme]

SFW König Backstory Headcannons

-He has a German father and Austrian mother.

-His father was a sniper in the German military and died when he was between 6 and 10.

-His mother traveled for work alot so he was raised by his grandmother (mothers mother).

-He was fairly popular up until puberty which hit him like a truck. Then he was bullied mercilessly for his looks.

-He had horrible acne in his teens and still boasts the scar to this day (he was really bad about picking at his skin)

-His growth spurt was rough so he was in alot of pain most of his younger teen years.

-He was a disproportionate teen with big hand and feet and long thin arms.

-He was really into the pokemon trading cards as a kid, but now he collects postcards from the places he visits.

-His grandmother struggled to feed him, something she tried to hide but failed. So he still has pretty bad food anxiety to this day, often eating large portions, escpecially when the food is free.

-Due to his eating habits from childhood he has a bit of a tummy over his abs.

-After he enlisted his grandmother cried for days.

-He goes back for as many holidays as possible, her favorite is Christmas so he makes an effort to go back.

-His Father's family is Catholic but his mother's is Prodestant, so he makes an effort to go to both Christmas services.

-He is not religious himself, but he enjoys the Prodestant service better since he has trouble sitting still.

-During basic training he was so nervous that he didn't speak a word other than, Ja, Neil, Herr, and the various military ranks.

-Everyone thought he was a suck up, so he didn't make any freinds until he joined his first regiment.

-Although he wanted to be a sniper like his father he also understood why he couldn't be one and tried not to let it get him down.

-His hood belonged to his father.

-After joining his first regiment he became a nervous chatter. Often talking about nothing at all.

-Surprisingly everyone liked the chatter. It kept things lively and he became popular again.

-After his first assignment he became more depressed. He wasn't used to people being afraid of him, being bullied and all.

-He broke out of the slump when one of his teammates snuck a little black kitten onto base. It got loose and hid in Königs room, unbeknownst to him. When he woke up the next morning a kitten was asleep on the chair next to his bed, on top of his discarded hood. It wasn't afraid when he picked it up. König decided then and there that if this tiny kitten wasn't afraid of him, he wasn't that bad after all.

-The kitten was named Harold and loved with the team until they were caught a week later. König took the kitten home to his grandmother for Christmas the next day and he still lives there.

-Edit: Fanart of Harold submitted by my roomate

-He goes to counceling every week. His therapists name is Andrea.

-He has a dirty mouth, and is always swearing and cracking jokes under his breath. But his demeanor completely changes is his grandmother is around.

-He has a strained relationship with his mother in adulthood, she doesn't even have his phone number.

-He loves music, things with loud base and emotional lyrics.

-Maybe old school emo?

-He can cook, but only basic German fair. Think fleischsalat, kartoffelsalat (with vinegar and oil, duh), boiled wurst, pfankuchen (and of course Flädlesuppe with the leftovers, his father was Swabian) and the like, nothing fancy.

-His favorite breakfast is fitness-brötchen cold butter, teo hardboiled eggs with salt and teewurst. With water and black coffee to drink.

-He likes to indulge in quarkäallchen if he's out and about early, but he can eat an ungodly ammount of them so he makes sure to buy a roll or something to help fill him up.

-He actually really enjoys window shopping, but clothes in stores rarely fit him. If he has a partner he would most definitely know their size and bring them back clothes.

-He wears all black most of the time, but with the occasional pair of blue jeans or tan cargo pants. Really whatever pants could fit him.

-shoes are even worse, he's probably a size 17-18 in men's shoes (US, I think its like a 16 UK and iver 50 in Europe) He's probably got black new balances for day to day use and then custom workboots.

-He knows how to darn and hem. Making him very popular with his coworkers.

-He hums while he does chores.

Ok I actually do have more but I'm tuckered. Let me know if you want more I guess. I do have plenty of spicier ones so I may post those anyways. Goodnight little people in my phone