#[ dont kill me brutally tumblr ]

[morningbloodystar]

They often say it's never the Fall that hurts, but instead, the Landing.

Samael disagrees. What hurts the most is, in fact, the Push.

THE HEAVENLY HOST

THE BEGINNING

The first thing that made him understand just what was going to happen was Michael's face.

His Brother, his Twin, his Other Half, had looked horrified.

For all they had been fighting with everything in them just moments before, the second It started, there was little that could compare to his look of shattered grief.

All the Archangels had felt it at once, as their Mother Lord appeared before them for the first and last time in a long, long while.

(The memory, for all it would tear him to pieces, would be a peaceful one for Samael. After all, it was the last time his family expressed a shred of anything but hatred towards him.)

(He thinks he heard someone scream his name in heartstopping agony. He can't be sure it was Michael. He hopes it wasn't.

God's Beloved can't mourn for something like him and still remain to be so.)

THE LANDING.

Samael had felt the creation of Hell. It had been the force of the first Fall, that had splintered Reality enough to cause somewhere entirely new.

Somewhere so disconnected that even his stars couldn't lend their light. It needed a connection.

It chose its Creator, just as Heaven anchored itself to Her.

Yet, it didn't quite register. After all, it's a bit hard to feel anything other than torment when your True Form burns off, leaving behind an eternal scar in its place.

He remembers Begging. He remembers Praying.

Samael had flung his remorse towards the Lord he couldn't feel, a ceaseless chant of forgive me, please, Mother come back, I can't feel you, I can't feel my Light, my Grace, my Family, it's gone, it's all gone, Mother what am I, please Mother, Father, please forgive me I'll do anything, I love you, I can't stop now, TAKE ME BACK-

Well.

It hadn't been pleasant.

(No one answered, of course. He stopped expecting an answer what felt like a few millennia in.)

(He also decides that it hadn't been Azrael, sobbing yet mute, watching him slowly turn into the monster he'd been meant to become. It's easier to blame her for abandoning him, that way. If she had seen him.. well.

It's a wonder he ever returned, actually. Who could love that?)

THE SECOND SCREAM.

His skin never seemed to heal. He could deal with it - he'd figure out how to assume a human form soon enough. Masking the pain almost seemed to help subdue it.

Once he'd recuperated enough to actually look around, he found that he couldn't. This hole of Reality that he'd formed was, quite literally, Lightless.

It shouldn't have been a problem. He'd been the Lightbringer since his very creation - if there was one thing he could call his own, it was Light.

Only, it didn't work.

He pulled at his strangely different core, tugged at it, stretched it, nearly threw it out of himself in his desperation to create some Light. Something familiar, something constant, in this empty world he'd resigned himself to.

It didn't work.

What would one day become Hell shook with the force of his scream.

(He got his light, at the end. Only, the closest thing he could get to its steady, comforting warmth was the uncontrollable spread of Hellfire. It spread light, of course. It also turned the entirety of the area into molten land and ash.

And so was the creation destruction of the Hell where demons would reside. He didn't care much. He was still alone, still abandoned, still a monster.)

THE FALLEN.

He'd gained control over his form, and his newfound Hellfire. Hell was docile enough most of the time - it didn't particularly need his attention.

(He wished it did. It had been what felt like a few hundred millennia now, and he'd been alone for all of them. The only thing keeping him sane was the ever-present hum of rage, grief and betrayal in his charred veins, till all he could feel was numb.

He laughed. He wasn't sane. Not anymore - perhaps, he hadn't been for a long time. Perhaps he had never been. There was little other than delusion that could've led him to ever believe he was loved.

He laughed again. There were none the broken sound could pierce, for there was no one listening.)

(Somewhere, She weeped, even as her pawns Fell into place.)

The Change was sudden. It was the indescribable tug at his Essence, the prompt change in the course of Molten Sulphur, and his unhealed skin splitting apart, once more, to reveal the depth of his Corruption.

Hell shook. This time, it wasn't just his scream that was the cause.

Hell shook, as millions of the Fallen entered their Home and their Prison.

Hell shook, as the War ended.

Hell shook, as the Winners lost their love and the Losers won their freedom escape.

Hell shook, as Samael became King and Keeper to the ones he Broke.

THE DEATH.

Beelzebub had approached him later.

Had it been anyone else, they would have been burnt to nothing before they got the chance to look at their King.

(He felt nary a twinge of remorse, when he thought of the almost bunny-like Legion who had approached him with questions on his lips and scars on his back, only to be reduced to less than ashes. He was Her Samael. Disgraced he might be, but he was still more than a bloody help desk.)

"What seems to be the matter, my loyal Prince?" His voice had been the only part of him unaffected. Still an expertly spun web of Desire, summoning forth awe and worship in all who heard it.

Obviously disconcerted by the unfit match of burnt face and smooth voice, his Prince tried expertly to pull back their fear - it's only evidence the buzz in zeir voice. "We all changed our namez, az I'm zure you know, Lord. A zymbol of our unwavering allegiance to you, should you accept it az zuch. We zimply wish to know..." Their voice wavered with hesistance.

(It didn't hurt. It did not hurt. There was no reason - who cared that the angel who would become Beelzebub had been his closest confidant? All that mattered was what they were now - a monstrous King and his loyal fearful slaves.)

"We Fell for the cauze you provided uz, Lord. Unquestionably - you are King. We juzt wish to know... The one we Hail. Doez He call himzelf Samael, ztill?"

The question startled him out of the distant apathy that had come to consume him.

As he kept his back turned to the Prince, he remembered Heaven, and Her words.

"My Samael. Do you feel how intrinsically tied we are, my Son? Do you feel how you will come to be the Executioner to my Judge and Jury, my Light?" She had cradled his face, and it had felt like Loving, like Belonging.

He realised, just at that moment, that it was Damning.

Samael. God's Venom, God's Severity, God's Punishment.

All of it, whatever he was meant to be, merely belonging to another.

He didn't want to.

He knew what an Angel's Purpose meant to them - a Principality would rather choke on Her fury than betray those they protected, just as a Seraph would sing Her praises sooner than they would breathe.

But Samael? Samael didn't want. He didn't want to be the one She pushed the furthest, yet the one She still controlled. He didn't want to punish, to poison, to hurt those who just wanted freedom.

The same as him, yet he was their Keeper.

He felt a fresh wave of loathing wash over him, as he thought of the Legion. They'd just - they'd wanted to ask a question, and. He'd hurt - he'd killed someone who just wanted to ask.

A single tear burnt down his hidden face.

He had no choice.

(He did, he always did, oh, why were Her most wondrous consumed by resignation before they could ever bloom?)

Still a pawn. Abandoned by Her, by everyone, but still a pawn. Hated more than ever before, but still a pawn.

She'd taken everything from him, just to make sure he fulfilled the purpose he rejected. She had created him to reject his purpose, and then punished him for it.

And he would have to do it. He was - he might've been jailor, but that didn't make him any less of a prisoner.

Resignation coursed through his every cell.

A final Rebellion, then.

He had the Purpose he hated, for he had lost the one he had loved.

He had lost his Creation. He had lost his Light. He had lost his Family.

If there was nothing he could do but accept it, he would accept it with his head held high.

With a name that made him feel less like tearing apart every piece that created him, to rebuild it in a way unrecognisable.

A Final Rebellion, Mother. You win, like you always ensure. If there is anything I can have of Myself, it will be this.

"Of course not, Beelzebub. Spread it across the Universe."

He turned around, and a smile, as cruel as he could make it, took over his face. "Samael is dead. There is nothing that remains of him, but this corporation. Your King..."

The very thought of the name smoothed over some deep, unsettled part of him, that had resisted and existed long before the Fall.

He would be Satan, for he had no choice. He would be Lightbringer, even if it took the only choice he had left.

"...is Lucifer Morningstar."

[thelovebug1968]

Im well adjusted and have normal reactions to stimuli. Unrelated i might have to get off tumblr for a little or else ill tell people to kill themselves over their WRONG opinions on architecture

[thesiltverses]

I don’t know who types up the ask answers on this blog but to whoever’s reading this: how do you all feel about being alive and sentient? What keeps you going, what purpose propels you through this chaotic void? What do you think (or hope) waits for you after your inevitable end? What do you think constitutes a life well lived?

I'm going to answer this in the most wayward and stupidly overlong manner possible, because the previous ask had me thinking about puppets, and I was already mid-way through writing up a book recommendation that's semi-relevant to your questions.

Everyone (but especially people who've enjoyed The Silt Verses and all the folks on Tumblr who loved Piranesi by Susanna Clarke) ought to seek out Riddley Walker by Russell Hoban.

Riddley Walker is a wild and woolly story set in post-apocalyptic Kent, where human society has (d)evolved into a Bronze Age collective of hunter-gatherer settlements. Dogs, apparently blaming us for our crimes against the world, have become our predators, hunting us through the trees. Labourers kill themselves unearthing ancient machinery that they cannot possibly understand.

A travelling crowd of thugs led by a Pry Mincer collect taxes and attempt to impose themselves upon those around them with a puppet-show - the closest possible approximation of a TV show - that tells a mangled story of the world's destruction, featuring a Prometheus-esque hero called Eusa who is tempted by the Clevver One into creating the atomic bomb.

Riddley himself, a twelve-year-old folk hero in-the-making surrounded by strange portents, ends up sowing the seeds of rebellion and change by becoming a conduit for the anti-tutelary anarchic madness (one apparently buried in our collective unconscious) of Punch 'n' Judy.

It's a book in love with twisted reinterpretation, the subjectivity of interpretation, buried or forbidden truths coming back to light (the opening quote is a curious allegory about reinvention and cyclical change from the extra-canonical Gospel of Thomas, which is a good joke and mission statement on a couple levels at once) and human beings somehow stumbling into forms of wisdom or insight through clumsy and nonsensical attempts to make sense of a world that is simply beyond them.

It rocks.

The book starts like this:

On my naming day when I come 12 I gone front spear and kilt a wyld boar he parbly the las wyld pig on the Bundel Downs any how there hadnt ben none for a long time befor him nor I aint looking to see none agen. He dint make the groun shake nor nothing like that when he come on to my spear he wernt all that big plus he lookit poorly. He done the reqwyrt he ternt and stood and clattert his teef and made his rush and there we wer then. Him on 1 end of the spear kicking his life out and me on the other end watching him dy. I said, 'Your tern now my tern later.'

Riddley's devolved language - a trick which has been nicked/homaged by many other works, most notably Cloud Atlas and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome - is a masterwork choice which may seem offputting or overwhelming at first, but which has its own brutal poetry and cadence to it, and ultimately which makes us slow down as readers and unpick the wit, puns, double-meanings and playful themes buried in line after line.

(Even those first five sentences get us thinking about cyclical change, ritual and myth in opposition to the dissatisfactions of reality, and 'tern' to paradoxically indicate a rebellious change in direction but also an obedient acceptance of inevitable death.)

In one of my favourite passages in literature and a statement of thought that means a lot to me, Riddley has been smoking post-coital weed with Lorna, a 'tel-woman', who unexpectedly declares her belief in a kind of irrational, monstrous Logos that lives in us, wears us like clothes, and drives us onwards for its own purpose:

'You know Riddley theres some thing in us it dont have no name.' I said, 'What thing is that?' She said, 'Its some kynd of thing it aint us but yet its in us. Its lookin out thru our eye hoals...it aint you nor it dont even know your name. Its in us lorn and loan and shelterin how it can.' 'Tremmering it is and feart. It puts us on like we put on our cloes. Some times we dont fit. Some times it cant fynd the arm hoals and it tears us a part. I dont think I took all that much noatis of it when I ben yung. Now Im old I noatise it mor. It dont realy like to put me on no mor. Every morning I can feal how its tiret of me and readying to throw me a way. Iwl tel you some thing Riddley and keap this in memberment. What ever it is we dont come naturel to it.' I said, 'Lorna I dont know what you mean.' She said, 'We aint a naturel part of it. We dint begin when it begun we dint begin where it begun. It ben here befor us nor I dont know what we are to it. May be weare jus only sickness and a feaver to it or boyls on the arse of it I dont know. Now lissen what Im going to tel you Riddley. It thinks us but it dont think like us. It dont think the way we think. Plus like I said befor its afeart.' I said, 'Whats it afeart of?' She said, 'Its afeart of being beartht.'

While Hoban is, I think, deeply humanistic to his bones and even something of a wayward optimist, the notion of human beings as helpless and ignorant vessels, individual carriers - puppets, if you like - for an unknowable and awful inhuman power-in-potentia and life-drive that lacks a true shape or intent beyond its own continued survival (even when that means destroying us or visiting us with agonising atrophy in the process) conjures up the pessimism of Thomas Ligotti, another big influence on our work and a dude who was really into his marionettes-as-metaphor.

Let's go to him now for his opinion on the thing that lives beneath our skin. Thomas?

Through the prophylactic of self-deception, we keep hidden what we do not want to let into our heads, as if we will betray to ourselves a secret too terrible to know… …(that the universe is) a play with no plot and no players that were anything more than portions of a master drive of purposeless self-mutilation. Everything tears away at everything else forever. Nothing knows of its embroilment in a festival of massacres… Nothing can know what is going on.

Curiously, both Ligotti and Riddley Walker have appeared in the music of dark folk band Current 93, whose track In The Heart Of The Wood And What I Found There directly homages the novel and ends with the repeated words,

"All shall be well," she said But not for me

These words, in turn, hearken back to Kafka's* famous reported conversation with Max Brod:

'We are,' he said, 'nihilistic thoughts, suicidal thoughts that rise in God's head.' This reminded me of the worldview of the gnostic: God as an evil demiurge, the world as his original sin. 'Oh no', he said, 'our world is only a bad, fretful whim of God, a bad day.' 'So was there - outside of this world that we know - hope?' He smiled: 'Oh, hope - there is plenty. Infinite hope, just not for us."

So, we walk on.

We carry this thing that's riding on our backs, endlessly bonded to it, feeling its weight more and more with every passing day, unable to turn to look at it. Buried truths come briefly to life, and are hidden from us again. Perhaps they weren't truths at all. We couldn't stand to look the truth directly in the eyes in any case.

If there is hope, it's for the thing that looks out from our eyeholes, which thinks us but cannot think like us. We'll never get to where we're going, and the thing will never be born. There's no hope for it. Perhaps we don't want it to win anyway. It's nothing, and the key to everything.

The Jesus from the Gospel of Thomas says:

'When you see your own likeness, you rejoice. But when you see the visions that formed you and existed before you, which do not perish and which do not become visible - how much then will you be able to bear?'

Kafka, writing to his father, begins by expressing the inexpressibility of his own divine terror:

You asked me why I am afraid of you. I did not know how to answer - partly because of my fear, partly because an explanation would require more than I could make coherent in speech…even in writing, the magnitude of the causes exceeds my memory and my understanding.

Kafka concludes that while he cannot ever truly explain himself, and that the accusations in his letter are neat subjectivities that fail to account for the messiness of reality, perhaps 'something that in my opinion so closely resembles the truth…might comfort us both a little and make it easier for us to live and die.'**

It doesn't bring comfort to Kafka, whose diarised remarks both before and after the 1919 letter make it clear that he views his relationship with the things (people) that birthed him as an endless entrapment that prevents him from attaining any kind of self-actualisation or even comfort, since he cannot escape their influence or remember a time before them:

I was defeated by Father as a small boy and have been prevented since by pride from leaving the battleground, despite enduring defeat over and over again.

It's as if I wasn't fully born yet...as if I was dissolubly bound to these repulsive things (my parents).*** The bond is still attached to my feet, preventing them from walking, from escaping the original formless mush. That's how it is sometimes.

Samuel Beckett returns again and again (aptly) to this pursuit of a state of true humanity and final understanding that is at once fled and unrecoverable, yet to be born, never to be born, never-existed, endlessly to be pursued, pointless to pursue. From the astonishing end sequence of The Unnameable:

alone alone, the others are gone, they have been stilled, their voices stilled, their listening stilled, one by one, at each new-com- ing, another will come, I won’t be the last. I’ll be with the others. I’ll be as gone, in the silence, it won’t be I, it’s not I, I’m not there yet. I’ll go there now. I’ll try and go there now, no use trying, I wait for my turn, my turn to go there, my turn to talk there, my turn to listen there, my turn to wait there for my turn to go, to be as gone, it’s unending, it will be unending, gone where,where do you go from there, you must go somewhere else, wait somewhere else, for your turn to go again

I’m not the first, I won’t be the first, it will best me in the end, it has bested better than me, it will tell me what to do, in order to rise, move, act like a body endowed with despair, that’s how I reason, that’s how I hear myself reasoning, all lies, it’s not me they’re calling, not me they’re talking about, it’s not yet my turn, it’s someone else’s turn, that’s why I can’t stir, that’s why I don’t feel a body on me, I’m not suffering enough yet, it’s not yet my turn, not suffering enough to be able to stir, to have a body, complete with head, to be able to understand, to have eyes to light the way

From Thomas' Jesus:

When you make the two one, and you make the inside as the outside and the outside as the inside and the above as the below, and if male and female become a single unity which lacks 'masculine' and 'feminine' action, when you grow eyes where eyes should be and hands where hands should be and feet where feet should stand and the true image in its proper place, then shall you enter heaven.

Tom's Jesus makes a particularly Gnostic habit of both insisting that the hidden will be revealed and demonstrating the impossibility of attaining a state where the hidden ever can be revealed. Contrary to C.S. Lewis, we will never have faces with which to gaze upon the lost divine and the mysteries that shaped us, and crucially, as Christ puts it, we would not be able to bear the sight of ourselves if we did.

We will never become the thing that's riding on our backs.

Jesus again:

The disciples ask Jesus, 'Tell us how our end shall be.' Jesus says, 'Have you found the beginning yet, you who ask after the end? For at the place where the beginning is, there shall be the end.'

The Unnameable:

I’ll recognise it, in the end I’ll recognise it, the story of the silence that he never left, that I should never have left, that I may never find again, that I may find again, then it will be he, it will be I, it will be the place, the silence, the end, the beginning, the beginning again, how can I say it, that’s all words, they’re all I have, and not many of them, the words fail, the voice fails, so be it

The final passage of The Unnameable, which often is hilariously shorn and misinterpreted as an inspirational quote about how if you don't succeed, try again:

all words, there’s nothing else, you must go on, that’s all I know, they’re going to stop, I know that well, I can feel it, they’re going to abandon me, it will be the silence, for a moment, a good few moments, or it will be mine, the lasting one, that didn’t last, that still lasts, it will be I, you must go on, I can't go on, you must go on. I’ll go on, you must say words, as long as there are any, until they find me, until they say me, strange pain, strange sin, you must go on, perhaps it’s done already, perhaps they have said me already, perhaps they have carried me to the threshold of my story, before the door that opens on my story, that would surprise me, if it opens, it will be I, it will be the silence, where I am, I don’t know. I’ll never know, in the silence you don’t know, you must go on, I can’t go on. I’ll go on. †

We bear this thing that's riding on our backs. We'll never get to where we're going, and the thing will never be born. If it was born, it'd be too terrible for us to bear. There's nothing riding on our backs.

It will never speak us into being.

We keep on calling out into the silence, we keep trying to explain or understand the thing that's riding on our backs, searching for a way to birth it before we die. Our words about the thing are crucial, and they're meaningless, and they're all we have, and they're nothing at all. We cannot name it and we cannot express it, but we cannot stop trying, and we will keep turning back to our words about the thing, obsessing over them, tearing them to pieces, putting them back together.

I'm fumbling at something I can't think or say, but fumbling is all we're capable of. There could be beauty and meaning and comfort in the fumbling, but it's also vain, and foolish, and pointless, and we're lying to ourselves about the beauty and the meaning and the comfort, and we're indulging ourselves pointlessly by going on and on about the pointlessness of it. Nothing can know what's going on. We will never get close enough to understand without being destroyed.

Thomas' Jesus again, warning those who seek to reveal what's hidden:

He who is near me is near the fire.

Riddley Walker, reflecting on the Punch puppet's inexplicable desire to cook and eat his own child:

Whyis Punch crookit? Why wil he al ways kill the baby if he can? Parbly I wont ever know its jus on me to think on it.

If you got to the end of this, congratulations: but the above is honestly the most appropriate patchwork of what I believe, what propels me, what I feel.

As for what comes after life, I think it's fairly straightforwardly a nothingness we are tragically incapable of fully knowing or accepting - it's Beckett's unimaginable and unattainable silence, a silence that his characters' voices keep on shattering even as they cry out for it.

-Jon‡

*I can't remember if Kafka makes prominent reference to Czech puppets in his work, which is interesting in its own right given the thematic relevance (the protagonist in The Hunger Artist is perhaps a kind of self-directing puppet show?).

However, Gustav Meyrink - who some unsourced Google quotes suggest was pals with Czech puppeteer Richard Teschner - did write a strange little story, The Man On The Bottle, about an audience watching a 'marionette show' who are too wrapped up in performances and masks to interpret the reality that they're actually watching a human being suffocate to death.

**Thomas Ligotti: "Something had happened. They did not know what it was, but they did know it as that which should not be.

Something would have to be done if they were to live with that which should not be.

This would not (be enough); it would only be the best they could do."

***Beckett's Malone Dies actually kicks off with a related sentiment:" I am in my mother’s room. It’s I who live there now. I don’t know how I got there...In any case I have her room. I sleep in her bed. I piss and shit in her pot. I have taken her place. I must resemble her more and more."

† I don't necessarily align myself in humour with Ligotti on a lot of this stuff but I imagine he would recognise both Beckett's writing and Kafka's frustrations re explaining the causes of his hatred for his father as sublimation: finding artistic and philosophical ways of sketching the inexpressible horror and uncertainty of our existence in order to reckon with it at a remove without destroying ourselves. A higher form of self-deception, but self-deception nevertheless.

‡Muna's more of an anarcho-nihilist, I think.

[nerves-nebula]

OK im still thinking about if sun wukong actually killed macaque. at first i was like... probably not, right? that seems pretty brutal for lego monkie kid and wukong doesn't really seem to act like it, like i don't recall him saying "you're supposed to be dead" when we're introduced to macaque, and idk if he's ever said anything that implies macaque has ever been deceased. So at first I was like. ok he probably didn't kill this guy there's prolly something else going on.

but then in season 4 wukong off-handedly mentions that he sent azure to the underworld himself in like the finale (i dont remember if he brought it up before then) which implies that he did actually kill Azure and that having done so wasn't so important to him that he felt the need to mention it before then. so ok. maybe he's run into macaque since macaque was revived and has already had his "but you're supposed to be dead!" moment. or maybe he's just not easy to catch off guard in that way since he knows people can be brought back from death, i guess.

HOWEVER the EXACT WORDING Wukong uses when talking to Azure is "I put you in the underworld myself, how did you get out?" which is just vague enough that he could mean that he imprisoned Azure there, but didn't like. KILL him. SO THE JURY IS STILL OUT.

an of course there's also this tweet, which seems to imply that wukong DIDN'T kill macaque

but then you gotta think well, if wukong didn't do it then who tf did? *SOMEONE* had to have done *SOMETHING* because Macaque has the scars to prove he was fuckin, bludgeoned to death through the eye. unless we're supposed to believe that Wukong just scarred him and didn't actually kill him (which would be disappointing to me only because i really like the idea of a guy dying by getting a staff shoved through his eye but makes the most sense for a kids show i guess)

or maybe this tweet is only implying that Macaque wasn't actually resurrected by LBD but maybe some other force working for LBD? that would be a bit confusing but it's a possible reading, considering that Azure also isn't entirely sure who resurrected him. seems unlikely tho since LBD corroborated this part of the story herself, though I guess she could just be playing along with whoever it was that actually raised Macaque.

anyway i don't have a conclusion here other than "probably didn't kill macaque, probably just wounded him" but i did want to mention that while using google to try to find the tweet above this happened

so i guess I'm googles fucking. preeminent Did Lego SWK kill Lego Macaque scholar out there. fantastic. EXCEPT. WHEN YOU CLICK ON THIS LINK? IT'S NOT ACTUALLY QUOTING MY POST. IT'S QUOTING A REPLY SOMEONE MADE TO MY POST. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW OR WHY GOOGLE WOULD DO THIS? WHAT IS THE AI BEHIND THE SCREENS UP TO THAT IT'S SCOURING THE REPLIES OF A TUMBLR POST AFJSDILFMDSGKASMGD

oh but also when i added "tweet" a the end to try to find the sceenshot in images, this happened.

also the post referenced there is good. i like it. it does less rambling and wishy washy ranting than mine and we basically came to the same conclusions, except they have better photos to prove it sfdfdsf. idk when google started pulling tumblr blogs as sources but i guess we're the only ones talking about damn show.

anyway thank you for coming to my post where i overthink stuff and screenshot google results instead of doing my work

[slutdge]

Heavy subject matter under the cut im just not feeling well and need to get it out of my system

i used to constantly try to convince myself that my experiences with police brutality werent that trauamatizing but im glad i got over that, cause girlypop if you were slammed down on the ground, handcuffed and screamed at to stop resisting (all this during a mental health wellness check) despite yknow. being handcuffed face down on the ground while an officer was digging her knee into my spine so hard i couldnt stand up straight for over a week afterwards was, in fact, bad for your mental health. and this was only one of many instances. dont give these dumb fucking pigs any grace.

with that being said, i dont think ive expressed enough how much you will never feel safe after experiencing police brutality or mistreatment even if its just one time, whether its in your home or in public, you will never feel safe again anywhere because you know first hand they can do whatever they want and get away with it, and its something ive really been struggling to cope with lately now that im kinda drinking less off and on. like i dont know how to function knowing that that could happen again at any time no matter where i am and i couldnt do anything to stop it because even if you dont resist they still wont give you any kind of mercy, there is nothing you can do to snap them out of their fascist power trip because thats why they became cops in the first place. i dont know how to not live in fear and despair when cops are out there especially with the added factor that my abusive parents have on multiple occassions made false 911 calls that ive said i had a plan to kill myself so that i would be arrested and taken to the psych ward every time theyve suspected ive been getting too close to escaping from them and going no contact with them like i want to, even going as far to get a court order to have me arrested. idk i just dont know what to do anymore lol theres not a single thing in my life that isnt tainted with despair idk how im even alive still. sorry for the depressing incoherent late night thoughts, i hope yall are having a good night 🫀 it sounds silly cause its just tumblr but truly this blog is the only place i feel like i can freely express myself and i appreciate everyone who has taken the time to send me kind messages, more often than not thats the only positive thing ill experience in my day

[theallegedbird]

LITERALLY

Like

For example "6up 5oh (cop out)" IS LITERALLY THAT ONE POLICE EP FROM S5 where Jonny said the disclaimer at the beginning OR or bro c'mon literally "dr sunshine is dead" is about the dark OR "hand me my shovel, I'm going in" is about the buried or I personally connect "Mr. capgras encounters a second-hand vanity: tulpamancer's prosopagnosia/pareidolia (as direct result of trauma to fusiform gyrus)" to the stranger bc he keeps singing "you're trying to replace yourself" which I think really fits and also the song "skeleton appreciation day in vestal, my (bones)" also reminds me of the buried but also a bit of Jane Prentiss/the infestation and the jarchivist himself and also the rot yezyez the rotting too and also the beginning of the song "front street" where he sings about the slaughterhouse and meat...yes It's the flesh and the slaughter!!!!

And bro c'mon will wood is just so bbgirl his songs just fit SO WELL it's almost as if he wrote them specifically for tma

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'm low-key obsessed with him and I don't even listen to all the songs (I have the entire "everything's alot" album downloaded >I love it really mutch + a few other ones so I hope this counts ❤️)

Have a nice day btw love youuu❤️❤️❤️❤️ (I hope I didn't squish your brain to death with this friggin paragraph I just wrote :'] )

[ID of image in ask: a screenshot of a caption of a tumblr post by theallegedbird that the ask is responding to, it reads "memento mori- will wood, i can and will find a way to relate every ww song to tma istg". End ID]

NO LITERALLY,, YOU ARE SO RIGHT

kind of got carried away so um. long post

completely agree and feel the same about 6up 5oh cop out, dr sunshine is dead and mr capgras

6up 5oh cop out to me especially could be linked to daisy and the guy you mentioned as well as the hunt as whole because of both of them being heavily tied to and criticising the police/police brutality

warning for discussion of eds in this paragraph

skeleton appreciation day for me is the flesh,, dont get me wrong i can see your ideas too but i always interpreted the song as being about eds and negatively/unhealthily watching your weight in order to achieve "the perfect body" by society's standards; by being skinny,, "tell me you can see my bones" , "to cut down on my silhouette" and the whole end dialogue, so that fits into the flesh for me considering another situation of someone wanting the "ideal body" is something that is discussed in a flesh statement (mag90-bodybuilder), but i can see some themes in the song that can could be corruption, plus both the flesh and corruption are pretty closely linked at times (and smirkes system is just inaccurate to begin with)

dr sunshine is dead is as you said the dark to me,, in the sense of someone maybe becoming an avatar (song starts with narrator afraid of the dark/not knowing and ends with them embracing it) but also could be seen as the stranger or even spiral because of its themes (like most of ww's work) involving identity and the self

for hand me my shovel,, may i propose it is also s2 jon coded. very s2 jon coded. it is very much his paranoid need for the 'truth'. do you. do you get me

id also like to propose some other ww songs that are also extremely tma coded,, to me

blackboxwarrior!! ok stick with me but yknow that one dialogue bit that starts "hello, welcome. why don’t you take a seat?" that whole section. thats og elias and jonah in elias' interview. do you see the vision. its them. i always take it as jonah being the narrator when looking at this song with tma in mind,, with the "you’ve lost your mind and almost lost your life before, so you’ll be fine" and "for what it’s worth if it was going to kill you, boy, it would have by now" being directed at jon. please say im not insane for this i. i listen to this song a lot.

on the topic of jon and jonah your body my temple. because. because hes using jon as a pawn,, "your visage my visions" (i know this songs about sydney and elijah ch&t but can be tma too. if you think about it)

again with jon and jonah (i despise jonah and the godforsaken thing that is jonelias but their dynamic is so interesting) laplaces angel,, dont know how to put this one into words but do you Get It,, could be both or either of them really,, certain lyrics include: "it doesnt take a killer to murder it only takes a reason to kill", "the difference twixt fate and free will is whether youre singing", "whatever you think of me, if you were in my shoes, youd walk the same damn miles i do"

against the kitchen floor could also be jmart,, especially these parts: "i just havent learnt to be as human as you are yet", "i still dont know who you are, only that im still lonely", "apologizing for my life and ever entering yours" "im not a good person, im barely a person at all"

cicada days,, jon. jon coded. i really want ro make something with especially the in case i die live show version bc it just fits. so well. "it just feels inhumane to lose this much", "let all my red flags fade to white yeah i give up", and biggest one to me "here at the end of days, my god what have i done?" as in mag160,,

cotard's solution is the stranger,, again with the identity

there’s more but i’ve just realised how long this already is so ima leave it there

pff sorry for hijacking your ask but i’m a sucker for media analysis and any opportunity to do that with not one but two of my special interests causes me to black out and the autism to take over <33

also you’re so real for everything is lot,, favourite album

have a great day or night :D

[xikyuu]

i redownloaded tiktok and i feel like an old grandpa trying to figure out this newfangled technology

as someone who’s been on there since 2022-ish, I GOTCHU (if you’re still keeping it) -> rant under cut

so if you’re just starting out w a new algorithm, search up things you’re interesting in and browse. like videos (favorite some of you want— the bookmark icon. collections i def recommend if you like sorting. also bc it gets crowded n you can’t find anything after a while (i have over 5k favorites. i think ‘oh thats useful for later!!’ and favorite but then it gets lost). follow users youre interested in but make sure to check their acc first so it doesnt mess w algorithm too much.

theres a way to make your account private where someone can only see what you post or repost (which is similar to reblogging) if they follow you AND you follow them back/give permission for them to see your stuff.

tiktok shop was added a few months ago. ignore it. its basically a scam except for small businesses.

comments are BRUTAL. you get attacked easily. theres a lot of rampant -ism’s and -phobia’s there. theres also probably comments that might not make sense bc of the constant trends and such (so if you dont understand, you could probably bring it up to me and i might be able to help)

there are different sides of tiktok, just as there is tumblr. theres a side of tiktok called ‘straight tiktok’ which is basically the status quo and what the algorithm tries to feed you into every once and a while. its where MANY right-wing people reside or say stupid shit. theres also the dancing vids that were a part of it. its just,, weird. theres been a rise in the pushing of these videos because of the threat of banning tiktok and such, which means more censorship.

talking about censorship!!! its censored. you cant cuss much, you cant say kill (or any similar word), cant say genocide, etc. i saw a post today where someone had to censor the word cop as c0p. a lawyer had to censor the word cop. some people still cuss but comments or videos WILL be taken down or shadow-banned (algorithm doesnt push it for such n such reasons).

theres also been bot comments recently on famous creator’s videos. its just AI with a conventionally attractive woman, normally in a bikini, as a pfp thats commenting about something on the video to try and bait and get interaction.

its also a different environment from tumblr (obviously). be a bit prepared.

[grandhotelabyss]

Maybe I'm too stupid and lowbrow, so the reasons for why I liked Joker 2 will be just prove to others that it is unsophisticared trash.

But I dunno, I just thought it was an interesting movie, like the first one wasnt really about some IP franchise charachter, so this one isnt about some super villian caper plot but about the power of the first movie and it's consequences.

People fell in love with Joker and the whole premise of this being (for the first half) some overly sweet romantic musical, and atleast for me it worked: maybe because I deep down like that lovey dovey stuff of both sides showing love to each other, so one gets seduced by this sacharine imaginary wolrd.

As one got seduced by the bravado and the impotent violence of "Joker", the film and the idea - so there are sequences here where Joker starts acting all bombastically, having daydreams, now not only of song and dance, but of the violence and "retribution" the audience craves.

So then it comes to a shudden shock, when it not only gets revealead that the fangirl lady gaga is literally just some larping fangirl in love with the idea of some killer clown as if she had a tumblr blog about her favorite yuri sadist anime or whatever - but also that the little dwarf, who is framed as pitiable as possible, felt the real effexts of the Joker.

Ofcourse the later could be a very basic "oh no, being violent is le bad" message - and it seems to go that way - but at the same time the tragedy comes there, that when Artur has this realisation, that he "asks for help" like all the theraphy language asks of him, he gets rejected by his fangirl and everybody else - because all that hated him still hate him and his followers dont care about some loser, they only care about the super edgy clown prince or whatever shit people say.

But the problem is that Arthur at best is Raskolnikov, he is a softy that cant fully go above morals and self preservation, his spirit is broken both by society cutting his act short by killing and brutalizing his followers who are "inspired" in this cliche way of "singing to victory", while he is simply brutalised and abused, because in the end nobody can laugh trough the pain, only in cartoons and comics.

One could say that this movie is flawed because it ends without any solution, just a pessimistic outlook of either being abused or lashing out as a response till everything gets repayed in an even more horrific way.

But I think that doesnt make it bad or "demorilization propoganda against us brave chuds" - like I think some ask mentioned the Idiot by Dostojewsky sometime ago, and that book also ends with the protagonist failing in his quest and every outlook leading to tragedy, yet nobody would call it bad for that.

Because as Dostojewsky basically boils down to saying that humanity without love is lost, no matter how banal that sounds, so does this movie.

Yet I know this will probably make you think that the critiques are right lol, but I dunno its hard to put into words, just all the layers of the film on a meta level also proving how the audience doesnt care about the first movie besides as a power fantasy, hence why it is a musical, or it predicting the response of the fans and everyone hating it, or the fact that a guy who previously directed raunchy sex comedies chose to make this movie instead going the easy route of making some plot about joker escaping prison and then terrorizing the town with his minions till he has some ephiphany/gets killed by some batman or whatever lol.

And also it looked pretty to me lol, which may seem insignificant, but after watching that truely garbage and overrated trash "deadpool and wolverine" I could appreciate that - and that movie was truely bad yet the same people praise it, hence why I doubt critics are a good barometer.

That movie truely made me sick of its reddit-esque meta lampshading, while in Joker 2 it was mostly fitting.

I dunno, in the end I'm not saying its some perfect movie or even that "deep" if one is a lot more sophisticated and well read than me, but as a comic book sequel movie I doubt there are a lot more interesting attempts.

(oh also another small meta joke I found funny is the whole implication of the Lady Gaga charachter only using Joker for her own gain, which seems to be what the singer literally did cause nobody cares about her anymore so why not attach yourself to a super succesful itteration of a super succesful franchise? Hell the chuds could have easily said "see this is a critque of women taking from men and then discarding them once they dont need them anymore!")

I still haven't seen it, but I post this for those who may be interested in a review from a reader.

[babydrummer]

hellooo ,,, (evil smirk)

i’m so very curious as to what rainworld is as i’ve only been exposed to it through tumblr and tumblr alone; and to be frank it looks very intriguing and very confusing. ok basically what i’m saying is that if you wanna infodump abt rainworld onto me.. please do i’m a little lost

OH MY GOD MOOR you've activated my trap card i am legally obligated to ramble about rainworld. alright. SO

rain world lore is very. VERY vague and cryptic. even i don't know the whole story n i used to be obsessed with this game so i may or may not be getting this all wrong. but here's the jist.

thats you. you are a slugcat. a fucked up little guy half goop and half kitty. you just happened to be exploring the world with your lovely little slug family when WOOPS it started raining real bad and you accidentally got separated. now you're alone. and at the very bottom of a very brutal food chain.

the world you inhabit is INCREDIBLY FUCKED. essentially, no one here can die. ever. you exist inside a horrible cycle of death and rebirth. it sucks. if you get eaten you wake up the next day just fine. kill the annoying predator lurking outside your den? he's fine. this continues for forever (probably.)

a billion or so years before you existed, there were these people(?) called the architects (? i think?) and they really wanted to die. they had built a great utopian society blah blah blah and now they wanted to die. so they built these MASSIVE computers called iterators and were like "heyyyy lol. please figure out a way to kill us. please"

and the iterators (who are sentient by the way) were like "okay bet" and got to work thinking. but the architects got really bored of waiting and kept searching for their own way to die and eventually, they FOUND SOMETHING. at the very bottom of the world there was this weird substance known as void and if you jumped into it you WOULDN'T BE REBORN.

the architects were like "hooooly shit we're fucking free" and a lot of them jumped in. but turns out the Void has a TERMS AND CONDITIONS. turns out there's this thing called karma and i have no clue how it works but if you had too much / too little karma the Void would spit you back out as a weird eldritch creature cursed to never live or die again.

the architects were mildly freaked out by this and no one really knew how to deal. they kept the iterators running to try and figure out an alternative to jumping into the Void but eventually the architects were like fuck it and killed themselves via void anyway.

a billion years passed. probably. i dont know. but in that timeframe, the iterators made a group chat (im not kidding) between like the 8(??? i forgot how many) of them and were like "heyy lol you guys made any progress on figuring out how to die" "nope lol." this continued for a while.

BUT THEN SUDDENLY. one of the iterators was like "HOLY SHIT I FIGURED IT OUT" and then fucked died. and everyone else was like "HOOOOLY SHIT?????" but no one else could figure it out. and this kinda spurred the iterators on a little more (i think.)

eventually this is where YOU come in. you meet two of the iterators, Looks to the Moon and Five Pebbles, (yes they have strange names dont worry about it they dont mean anything) and while Moon is too run down to properly communicate (in the normal route), Pebbles is like "man lol i don't know what you want you fucking cat weirdo. if you wanna die there's this void thing i guess."

so you saunter your goopy ass down to the void and jump in. and die. and you have a vision of your family. all is well in the world (?????????)

AND THAT'S JUST THE BASICS FOR THE NORMAL ROUTE. THERE ARE FOUR MORE. AND THEY'RE ALL STUPIDLY COMPLICATED. I LOVE IT.

also the reason rain world is called rain world is because every now and then it rains so bad it floods the entire world. it turns out that rain is coming from the iterators. they are apparently SO BIG that the water they use to cool themselves evaporates into CLOUDS THAT CAUSE FLOODS.

also in one section of the game you get to crawl through their systems and eat their neurons. which is cool.

[wheelercore]

(privates censored by me because idk about Tumblr TOS)

Sometimes I think about The Shining being on the st4 inspo board and how victor creel is essentially in prison for being framed for doing what we see Jack Torrance attempt to do (brutally kill his whole family) and how the spiders in the bathtub may be a reference to the room 237 ghost aka the woman in the bathtub. But not only does the woman in the bathtub interact with Jack Torrance, actually she first chokes Danny allegedly - Jack's son- when he ventures into the bathroom first, although we don't see this in the movie explicitly.

We get that still unexplained shot of Henry in his moving in day clothes running away from the bathroom in Nancy's vecna vision with a scared look on his face.

There is also a usage of mirrors in The Shining similar to ST4, specifically after Danny is choked because at first Wendy accused Jack of having hurt their son. As Jack angrily storms off we get this long shot of him walking through a hallway- the left wall lined with mirrors- while angrily gesturing every time he passes on front of his reflection in one of the mirrors, ie him pushing away his reflection. Which leaves you asking, did the ghost in the bathroom really choke his son or did Jack?

(please go watch this scene for yourself because the screenshots really dont do how intentional his movements are justice).

Jack already had a history was physically abusing his son. It's mentioned in the movie he broke Danny's arm once before.

There are other intentional usages of mirrors in The Shining also, namely when Jack meets the ghost of Delbert Grady, the previous caretaker of the Overlook Hotel who also snapped and violently murdered his family during the winter months alone with them there. There is this bathroom scene, which is similar to the bathroom in Room 237, where they have a conversation- with another row of mirrors on one of the walls.

Jack asks where he's seen Delbert previously. The question isn't answered, instead Delbert bends over towards a sink and Jack follows- looking at Delbert in the mirror then at himself and smiling as if he's got his answer.

Then we also have this dialogue:

Jack: Mr. Grady. You were the caretaker here.

Delbert: I'm sorry to differ with you sir. But you are the caretaker. You've always been the caretaker. I should know so. I've always been here.

Followed by these two shots. Delbert standing on front of the mirror facing Jack.

Simply put- Jack is going down the same path as Delbert. Both going insane and murdering their families in the hotel. Just a really fancy creepy way of saying it. And that cycle will always be there.

Jack also realizes the previously beautiful woman in the bathtub has turned into an old rotting corpse in the mirror over the sink

(notice how the way Jack has his arms wrapped around her is mirrored to how she has her arms wrapped around him. A reflection).

These are only three of the instances in which this was done in the movie. And mind you, also notice the usage of lights in these scenes also. The chandeliers for each mirror in the hallway scene, the bright lights between each mirror in the bathroom scene with Delbert, and the two lights on either side of the mirror in the Room 237 scene.

Now why choose the shining as inspo for the creel subplot? Both ST and The Shining share a similar theme- the continuation of cycles. The Torrances end up almost fulfilling the same fate as the family who lived in the hotel previously while the ghosts of who lived there previously manipulate them into that position.

[trandoshan]

i read journalist jane talia's description of the immolation of aaron bushnell. i saw the still image. i watched her censored video, i heard his screams. i watched the uncensored video and i saw him burn, and then i watched it with audio and saw it all. the description is enough. the still image is as thorough and brutal as any average person may need ("need") to see to understand the suffering he endured in service of his protest.

i'm not by any means an expert, or whatever, in viewing gore or dealing with the psychic harm that it brings. watching the uncensored video satisfied my curiosity. i know what a burning human looks like, i know how his clothes fell, ashes, from his blackened body. i saw him tremble and fall. it did not make me a better person. i am not made more able to help the palestinian people, knowing these things. i already knew they were terrible.

there's value in respecting aaron bushnell's decision to publicize his protest as he did, that video should exist per his demand to be seen -- i would never condemn him for it, i would never condemn palestinians for begging the world to witness their suffering, i would never condemn mamie till for demanding the world see what white supremacists did to her son -- the holocaust is well-documented and those photos of nazi evil and jewish suffering were invaluable, tangible proof that something very wrong is happening in the world -- and i'm not a better person for having seen it. i wouldn't be a better person for turning away. maybe i would feel better and breathe easier if i did.

i won't satisfy my curiosity on this by searching for more details but when i was young i saw photographs of american soldiers raping women in the middle east. they haunt me. i think the photos were used in a legal case regarding these soldiers. this is different from aaron bushnell's video, of course, because those victims were recorded against their will -- a violation on top of a violation. i regret seeing them. i dont know those women but i hope they never experienced anything so horrific in their lives again. i can't imagine they want anyone seeing them in those moments.

i remember 2 guys 1 hammer, in middle school. i remember the time my mom opened a chain email of a man in police custody pulling a gun out of his pants and shooting himself in the head, quick. i remember videos of humans torturing animals: squeezing cats, cutting the fins off sharks, grabbing turtles by their necks, shaking them until theyre dead. all -- isnt this terrible? or course it is.

one of the first posts i saw about palestine since october 7, from a palestinian in the diaspora, was a tumblr user relating their conversations with their grandmother in palestine. the user wanted maybe to share photos of the people already killed, to remember them. grandmother says: their deaths arent entertainment. you know how israelis use our photos when we are killed.

once i told some people to stop using a specific photo for their memes about feeling ganged up on, by whatever abstract concepts of adulting or mental illness, because the photo was of a gay man being beaten by homophobes. they were aiming to kill him with kicks and stomps and he was curled up on the ground. they told me off for ruining their fun, or trying to, anyway.

[revalisgalee]

ok its mf essay time.

because we get to see the aftermath of this for Percy but NOT for cassandra (to my knowledge, i'm waiting til i have ample time off to watch season 3 in its entirety but ive been stalking tags) BUT REGARDLESS

lets talk about everything this girl did

cassandra de rolo watched her family die brutally at the hands of evil people who would become her captors. by her perspective, her only remaining family abandoned her. her HOME became her prison and we have no real idea the extent to which and how she suffered but the point is that she SUFFERED. she has white in her hair from the stress of it, she was completely under their thrall (whether by mind control like tlovm or stockholm syndrome like C1) and her own brother tried to kill her (not to mention she watched him almost fatally shoot himself too).

before this EIGHTEEN year old girl has time to even begin to recover, she has the fate of Whitestone pushed onto her shoulders (which she struggles to cope with and gets extremely burnt out in C1 to the point of practically begging percy for help) and also has to prove herself again to her people who she betrayed.

this brings me to the moment you see whitestone set aflame. the visceral pain i felt in my chest at that image was unmatched because everything cassandra has done, everything she has done to prove herself and make her home a HOME again and help her people, just EVERYTHING, is utterly eviscerated in front of her eyes. blood, sweat and tears GONE.

cassandra de rolo is by far my favourite NPC, no one else even comes close. by god, can my girl please catch a fucking break. hand over her emotional support kynan (dont get me started on him).

time to write a oneshot to attempt to capture this.

(also, not familiar with posting like this on tumblr so if i've broken some kind of unspoken or unknown rule/reblog etiquette i am very sorry pls let me know.

also let me know if im straight up wrong abt the episodes bcus i have not watched them and any opportunity to talk about cass is welcomed)

oh my god. her city is under attack again. she's stuck in the castle again. this time she has a rapier but it doesn't fucking matter-

except no, Percy's here! just like then except this time he didn't leave her. and they can both fight

... but this time it's Whitestone that can't survive what's come. fuck.

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

i am, fucking in love with your ocs. tell me more about the oh seas crew?

oh ho ho, you have no idea what youve done >:)

(heres what they all look like <2)

so first of all, this story takes place about 30-35 years after my other one, so there's a few easter eggs. like archie and kaya both knowing robert (spence's brother) and talking about echo and nyks. i just feel like that's important to state here

putting the rest of this under the cut because its going to get long

there's two main ships in the story, archie's and kaya's. they used to be co-captains but they went through Shit and it changed them both enough to where they weren't good for each other anymore.

kaya and archie are a really interesting dynamic to me bc they've been married three times and two of the divorces were jokes. the last one was bc kaya almost killed archie by. lighting him on fire. but before the Shit they were pretty much inseparable. i'm talking people woulnd't recognize archie without kaya or kaya without archie.

after the Final Divorce, kaya left the ship and took ryn and pix with him. pix is one of my favorites but he's a pretty horrible creature. it's like a fucked up scientist but cooler bc he has horns. he used to do silly experiments on beau, but then archie took him and scratch onto his ship. ryn is a little more complicated, but i love them just the same, maybe a little more if im being honest. he's like. unhealthily attached to kaya to the point where he would put his life in danger if it meant kaya didn't get a small injury. its also pretty close with pix, but more in the sense that they work together and have had to put up with three divorces and also three weddings (all more complicated than the last)

there's other people on kaya's ship too, bc no way can the three of them keep anything running, but nobody of note here. they dont have official names yet bc im still working out some kinks in the outline

in archie's ship, he's got a few more people of note. torren, holden, trinket, scratch, beau, chrys, silas, and imogen. only torren and trinket were with him for the Divorce, but they all know about it. chrysanthemum (chrys for short), silas and imogen are triplets who were run out of their hometown, trinket is a marinething, torren is like archie's ryn (but less brutal), holden is kinda pix-esque (in the sense that he's a medic and sometimes goes a little overboard) beau and scratch are the Main Guys (well not beau but he is to me) who archie basically kidnapped from kaya's ship and took in as his own. he's closer with scratch though

trinket is one of my beloveds, it's so...*holds so so gently* basically, a marinething is something that i put in my wip bc i wanted something like a mermaid but not like a mermaid. you get it. its about the size of an orca (i think i have a post of what they can look like somewhere on tumblr, i'll have to check) and stays close to the ship. for obvious reasons, it can't go onto the ship, but it learned to communicate with the crew. it named itself and also came up with a last name (scarrow). it likes to collect small trinkets (woah i wonder how it chose its name) it finds and has a small space to keep them on the ship. marinethings have hands, but there's webbing between the fingers. theres subspecies, some of them have tails and some have legs, some flippers and some tentacles. trinket has a tail, so no land for it.

the triplets are inchestering to me, mostly silas bc hes the Main Guy of the three of them. silas is the youngest of them (by a few minutes but still) but he's been the one to protect them all. he's pretty much in love with scratch and would follow her anywhere if it would let him. chrys is the cook, but they're not the best at it. imogen kinda just does everything, she's good like that. chrys and holden are together a lot bc the kitchen is right next to holden's room. imogen is pretty tight with torren since they both keep the ship floating and silas is close with scratch

torren is the first-mate. she keeps everyone alive and sane (though it is hard). she was with archie through all his time with kaya and...she hates kaya with the entirety of her being. she and ryn were pretty close at one point, but after the Shit they drifted apart and now they'd kill each other on sight.

scratch and beau are...so dear to me <2 scratch's name is actually isadora, but kaya gave it to her so she just stopped answering to it and let the crew chose her name. they chose scratch bc of the very large scar across its face. she's pretty much adopted archie as her mentor (NOT her dad though, very important to it that people know that) and will take charge of the ship once hes too old to do it. it's very protective of beau bc of the Stuff they went through on kaya's ship (that nobody knows about except them), so the slightest hint of him freaking out sends her into Kill First Questions Never mode. beau is. my sweetest boy. he's mostly quiet and the only reason he seems so sweet is bc hes been through too much to stand up for himself :( but! he is very soft and can read scratch like a fucking book. they're basically ride or die unless it has to do with kaya, in which case beau will not go anywhere but his room.

one thing abt beau though is that he is my special boy and has never done anything wrong ever <2

the magic system is basically the same as in my other wip but not many on any of the ships have magic. trinket has abilities bc of its being another species, but other than that there's not much to note. torren's mood might affect the waves a bit, but everyone ignores it and they havent tipped over yet. and if scratch should've died a few near-death experiences ago that can be ignored too because surely she'd have told them if it was immortal, right?

archie is. like a feral cat who used to live with an old lady but then the old lady died and he had to fend for himself for a few years until a kid noticed him and started to give him bits of their food but never actually did anything about him and eventually stopped giving him bits of their food. then he got caught by animal control and adopted by a person with a few other cats and is actually pretty chill now if you ignore the random bits of rage and energy. but a dog. he's got fangs (<2) and talks like his nose was broken a lot and never set quite right and oh yeah he's missing an eye. doesn't bother him much as long as nobody comes up on that side and he's ignoring it as hard as he can (it bothers him a lot)

if kaya's a bit of a witch, i wouldn't hold it against him. nothing too big or flashy, just a little hex here and there. a curse on isadora to prove to it that she'll always be alone, sure (its more tethering the equivalent of a demon to her soul). does archie sometimes feel like he's being watched? pretty much always. but that's hardly kaya's fault that archie just leaves pieces of himself everywhere he goes.

ok i think thats it for now, thank you so much for the ask! i had a lot of fun typing this out :)

[transsexualhamlet]

1 and 3 for any fandom

ask game "CHOOSE VIOLENCE"

i will be doing it for ons because that is the fandom that i witnessed the most volatile bullshit lmao

1. character everyone gets wrong

ok I don't trust fucking anyone with Guren. We're all aware of this but for the love of GOD why is NO ONE CAPABLE OF CONSIDERING THE NINE FUCKING LIGHT NOVELS OF REASONING FOR WHY HE IS THE WAY HE IS AND WHY IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. I've seen over time the gradual reduction of his character from "funny absent father haha" to "just the worst terrible abusive irredeemable dude ever" LIKE PEOPLE PLEASE ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME IF UR WEIRD EX BRUTALLY MURDERED YOUR ENTIRE TRAUMA BONDED FRIEND GROUP AND THEN KILLED HERSELF AFTER TELLING U U COULD RESURRECT THEM . AND ALSO YOU'RE SIXTEEN. HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD HONESTLY BE ABLE TO REFUSE

3. screenshot or description of worst take you've ever seen on tumblr

THIS IS SO HARD I DONT REMEMBER 99 PERCENT OF THEM

ok but like, back in the very early days of me being on tumblr there was this girl who ran a blog dedicated to shipping mika and krul which like. live ur fucking life ig but mika's a teenager and krul is 3000 but looks like an eight year old???? you know i couldn't even tell u what to think about that it's just such a situation. i was civil with her and for some reason we had been messaging because we had some shared headcanon about mika, for like 15 minutes

however she kept flooding all the ons tags with a billion posts about this ship i couldn't stand so like. at least two weeks after this isolated civil conversation i blocked her because well she was annoying as hell and I didn't want her on my dash. then she made a burner account to make a callout post about me about how you "shouldn't block people without telling them"?????????

and then proceeded to message me again about how i was a terrible friend (i talked to her once)

god that was so.

[touyyes]

˖⋆࿐໋₊𝐀𝐁𝑶𝑼𝐓 𝐌𝐄

#TOJI : "sorry, you're not my type. baki on the other hand? yeah, that woman's definitely my type."

‧₊˚♡

learn about me today! (psst don't be a stranger, stranger.)

☼ nov scorpio ↑ libra ☾ scorpio. intp-a. lesbian. half filipino–canadian. 19. any pronouns.

+ i love making new friends/moots so dont be afraid to interact or joke around with me! idrc if you call me any petnames or shit like (bitch, whore, slut) AS LONG as u make it clear ur not being fr and not meant to insult me 🤨

+ im taken! meaning i wont flirt with you (even in a platonic way), so please don't try to flirt with me !!

+ i have a type for big beefy men 💋

+ villain fucker. villain apologist. villain defense attorney.

+ i love anything to do with makeup n fashion. ive got whole pinterest boards dedicated for it. same with piercings

+ i love my cats very very much 🐈🐾

+ i like astrology & manifesting 🔮

+ im truly a whore for horror. watching horror movies is my comfort, i will literally play that shit in the back while i clean, write, shit, anything i need to get done basically. if you like horror, i am immediately following your blog

+ along with horror, i love horror games. and just video games in general.

+ i hate cold weather. im a warm weather gyal thru n thru 🌴🥥🐬

+ i hate fake woke bitches. especially ones who try n earn brownie points or try to sound "progressive" when they're not.

+ if ur rude, or a bitch just for the sake of being one. get off tumblr and get a job. and if u have a job, i pity ur coworkers.

+ ppl who like being in drama, starting drama, or sending their lil fanbase to drag other blogs down

fave mangas !! : chainsaw man + kny + blue lock + pumpkin night + tokyo revengers + bnha + brutal + lady k and the sick man

fave video games !! : resident evil, devil may cry, outlast, sallyface, uncharted, tomb raider, hitman, persona 5, fire emblem, ace attorney, stardew valley, otome games

fave animes !! : free! iwatobi swim club + akatsuki no yona + attack on titan + jujutsu kaisen + owari no seraph + devilman crybaby + kill la kill + demon slayer + haikyuu + yuri on ice

fave characters !! : gojo + toji + getou + naoya + rin matsuoka + sousuke yamazaki + kishibe + reze + quanxi + kunigami + bachira + nagi + itoshi brothers + crowley eusford + giyuu + muzan + yoriichi + douma + dabi + shigaraki + jaeha + suna + tendou + leon kennedy + carlos oliveira + dante + sal fisher

© TOUYYES 2022 — All rights reserved. do not copy my layout, or else I'll turn into a vampire and suck your blood dry.

[lordelmelloi2]

Oh my god you guys. Fate tumblr, people who've seen fate, yuri fans, tragedy fans. Go get this fixed. SaberIri can not be at 16.3% right now this is pathetic. I can't believe it -- if Saber and Irisviel lose a maligned yuri bracket, I will cut my leg off.

YOU WANT MALIGNED YURI? I'VE GOT YOUR FUCKING MALIGNED YURI RIGHT HERE! FATE/ZERO IS WRITTEN BY GEN UROBUCHI! YOU WANT MALIGNED YURI???!!

(VERY LONG POST AHEAD)

For those who don't KNOW:

Irisviel is doomed to a fate that she can't avoid because she is a literal container for spirits and will die at the end of the war. Saber is literally her knight who takes her around the city and protects her and shows her the world she wasn't allowed to see outside of the castle she was raised in.

Saber is King Arthur (already a fucking mess, and definitely traumatized heavily from it too) summoned as a Servant to Kiritsugu, Irisviel's husband, ... who, by the way, is so shocked that King Arthur is a woman that he won't fucking talk to her. SO IRISVIEL HAS TO DO ALL INBETWEEN COMMUNICATION! KIRITSUGU WILL NOT ACKNOWLEDGE SABER!

Irisviel is literally so happy to be outside of the castle and exploring the world, but as the war-ritual goes on and she absorbs more spirits, her homunculus body begins to break down, and Saber becomes even more fiercely protective as Irisviel becomes weaker and weaker...

... to the point of chasing down and unleashing her deus ex machina attack (a Noble Phantasm) on two people she suspected of kidnapping Irisviel AFTER chasing after them on her (self-magically powered up) motorcycle (Butch)

Irisviel was literally brought up on Kiritsugu, her husband's, ideals, and although she knows that they're hurting him, she still supports him through the war they're fighting because she believes in his naive ideal of a world without evil...

...which, because the container she's created in the image is is CURSED! from the PREVIOUSLY HELD WAR-RITUAL! She turns essentially into a dark version of herself who is cursed with muck and also she turns into a cup to fulfill Kiritsugu's wish to create a world without evil.

Again: she turns into a cup.

... which Kiritsugu, realizing the holy grail (that's the cup) is cursed, orders Saber to destroy it.

which is so funny also because Saber's literally demands to be given the Grail earlier and is canonically going mad because of all the blood she's lost from previous battles + the Grail grants the winner a wish, and Saber desires to undo her mistakes as a King

^ pictured: Saber going insane and Irisviel within the cursed Grail

PLUS: canon or non-canon so much of the promo art for Fate/Zero literally looks like it's out of a lesbian pulp novel cover where a girl steals a man's wife, and more or less that's what Fate/Zero really would've gotten towards if Irisviel hadn't DIED and Saber didn't ALSO GET BRUTALLY BETRAYED BY HER MASTER AND THEN DISAPPEAR!

TL;DR IF YOU DONT VOTE IRISABER I WILL KILL YOU

(ALSO THAT LIL NAS X VIDEO HE POSTED TO HIS TWITTER OF CALL ME BY YOUR NAME SET TO THOSE ANIME GIRLS DRIVING/CRASHING THEIR CAR? THAT WAS IRISABER!) (IN BELOW POST)

MALIGNED YURI BRACKET: Round two

How is Irisviel von Einzbern/Artoria Pendragon (Fate/Zero) maligned?

"In-universe, they suffered tragedy on par with what you'd expect for being in Fate/Zero; Iri's body slowly degrades over the course of the novel, and she has to be killed to release the Holy Grail. Iri is okay with this. Saber is not. Out of universe, they're maligned on account of Iri being married to a dude named Kiritsugu, and on account of Saber being more frequently shipped with either Shirou or Rin from the VN that Fate/Zero is a prequel to."

How is The Boss/Strangelove (Metal Gear Solid) maligned?

"we don't dr strangelove's actual name, thats a nickname she was given because she's a canonical lesbian who was in love with the Boss, also no actual name" "They're both ded 😔 they deserved so much more........................." "strangelove refused to accept the boss sacrificing herself so she made an ai that was a perfect copy in a nuke gundam body that sacrificed itself again to not nuke tf out of america" "...theyre in metal gear solid- which is somewhat dominated by male characters- MLM ships are most popular...it makes the WLW ships a lot more hidden- and far far less content (🥹)- also a large chunk of the fandom is cishet gamer men so- they hate strangelove and her openly lesbian identity along with her being an avid mAN-HATER..." "the boss is a bisexual icon and is not only with Strangelove, but also The Sorrow. and everyone forgets about Strangelove to instead talk about The Sorrow and The Boss" "Strangelove yearns for the Boss and even canonically wishes the kid she has with someone else could've been the Boss'..."

Read the submitter(s)'s unabridged explanations here!