#[ ch: alcina dimetrescu. ( BAT IN THE BRAMBLES. ) ]

[loveablehands]

un-dying of consumption : lady d

i still don’t feel like writing but i’m thinking about how alcina was a jetset lady who was exploring the world, she was a musician, a woman about town, and now she’s spent the last 90 years locked away from the world by mother miranda, unable to learn anything about it except thru the people she literally killed. and how that kind of relationship broke a part of her. how she has no one to entertain anymore, or take care of, except herself and her girls who are her only real relationship but also a pantomine of it. how she became so bored she became selfish. how she is bound to consume and to use and to pretend to be the woman she once was because she is trapped in a castle in a constant drunken stupor, her mind warped, her body changed and aged to death and yet unliving, ungrowing in so many ways that humans are supposed to grow and blush and beat.

how her only connection to the outside world was through these maids and men that she would literally eat, or be forced to send away. how all of them have generational trauma bc of her. how none of them are the fun oc maids on twitter bc she’s eaten their mothers and sisters and grandmothers near-indiscriminately, and it was satisfying when they died---because consuming them is a feeling that is something other than fear & hatred and disdain.

she wants to be pretty. she clings to life. clings to excess. clings to wealth and beauty and the past, bc it’s all she has and all she knows anymore---she is so old and so far gone, and she does not remember what it is to be touched by other hands---not her own, caked with foundation to hide the wrinkles and blue and black veins and terrible spots.

and this is probably in truth the scariest thing about her---not that she is a monster, but that she doesn’t want to be seen as one even tho she has no comittment or care for being one bc she’s too fargone, that she genuinely wants to be and look human and even be treated as one by beautiful women even if she still wants to feast on your blood AND be loved as the innocent and mysterious, beautiful jazz singer miss d, as if no time has passed---as if nothing has changed, when literally everything about her has. that she wants to be loved & beautiful---but she wants to be loved AND be able to drink blood and she sees no contradiction there. a lady has to eat, after all.

[loveablehands]

alcina write-up:

lady dimetrescu has a strange sense of intimacy. she doesn’t tend to view anyone as an equal, she’s much too powerful and beautiful for that, or at least, so she says---but if you profess a proper partnership with urself as someone beneath her----you can get relatively close to her very quickly. she adores reverence, she dotes on those who are pliant & submissive without shaking fear and allow themself to be fussed over and cooed over. she would love all the fan inserts who want to be stepped on, but she would absolutely never step on them!!! tho she would be big on physical affection if u catch my drift.

she’ll regale you with stories about her past, the jazz scene in paris in the 30s a favorite among her many stories, of which she still remembers the name of many artists and musicians from all people of all walks of life---another heavy reason that she hates heisenberg so vehemently, not just that miranda seems to prefer him---but that he is so clearly does not deserve his place here considering his place in the war. 

she’s a cannibal, and she’s evil---but even she has her standards, she’ll never be on heisenberg’s level of evil. 

even her daughters, she was simply tasked with observing, and she is not interested in any of the rest of their experiments---her idea of her own supremacy is out of a deep sense of ego & aesthetic sensibilities and shallow, rich girl landowner entitlement & vanity turned vicious and hungry----but she retains her humanity in that she is not outwardly prejudiced or bent on systemically abusing anyone against or on anyone besides the poor and the tasteless. just hungry, bored, and the worst boss you’ll ever have. these are things she uses to justify her own evil, of course. it’s terrible to torture people, and she does so with no regret after so many years. she is self-concerned and almost self-pitying as she does so, thinking about how horrible it is that she should have to kill women to survive, but not about how horrible it feels for the other person---only that her needs are annoying and MAKE her do this to the women of the village, which only makes her more spiteful.

lady dimetrescu has had a handful of real relationships with maids over the years, mostly foreigners sacrificed to her by the village in the place of their own daughters---and she’s even let some of them go, because she finds them too interesting or talented to waste. and it is a waste, eating people who have stories to tell, who can converse with her without fear while still satisfying her ego. 

she achieves no sexual pleasure from physical torture or scaring her maids, just like you achieve no sexual pleasure from drinking a beer or eating a burger or having a fruit gusher, however. she is, in fact, less of a sadomasochist and more of a ‘melting the stone’ kind of lesbian femme dom, who wants to care for more butch or more modern women---until they can be intimate with each other in ways that woman has not thought previously possible.

lady d is NOT attracted to fear, and she is not attracted to defiance. she wants a girl-friend, a girl who is her friend, who she can gab with, who is chivalrous and holds doors open, who WANTS to serve her. it helps if that person is already rich or has a sense of fashion themselves. she loves confidence & experience, but she’s also more than willing to teach & guide the inexperienced.

lady d is a very lonely, bored, person. she’s easily excitable, with an almost schoolgirl kind of enthusiasm any time anyone has anything interesting at all to say---she’s gossipy, high maintenance, chatty, and catty----but parts of her mind have gone with disuse, she’s slow, and living in a forgotten dollhouse of a world, without access to the outside world, has made her numb, and monsterous in nature in that she is unable to empathize with those she deems useless & boring.

but she loves meeting new people who aren’t afraid of her, especially women, and is constantly trying to flirt with her maids and MAKE them interesting---but most maids rebuff her advances out of fear bc they know what has happened to their sisters, their husbands, their mothers, their fathers, their grandmothers, etc. it makes sense, but she still begrudges them for it, and they die a lot quicker if they have nothing interesting to say it.

she wants to know about the outside world, but she knows it is not a place for her anymore. she once was a traveler---a goth jazz doll that toured the world---and she thinks it sad her career never went anywhere by the time she was forced to ‘settle down.’

she and her girls still do performances sometimes, and she’ll do one for you if she really wants to impress you, but afterwards she’s prone to moods and melancholy. her daughters are truly the only thing that keeps her going sometimes when she feels all alone & trapped in the world in a place of inferiority bc of miranda and her monsterism which she frankly tries to hide but which fails her anyway. dysphoria gets to her, sometimes, the person in the mirror in the cracked white make-up and the breast veins is not the young beauty she wants to see, there is no color to her cheeks, and she’s always been goth, but there’s a certain lethargy and depression and malaise that comes to every moment she is not literally drinking blood---

but she continues, onwards, to each new day, moving forward, eating & growing, eating & markedly unliving in wealth & depravity.