#[ anyway ilona's jacked as it is but she will especially have jacked calves if it means kissing neve without having her bend over ]

[afraidofchange]

a desperate kiss as if they are convinced they’ll slip through each other’s fingers  — neve & ilona

@hemerasiae | kisses for Ilona.

"Neve...wait."

Ilona calls out after the other woman, stopping in her tracks; even with her back turned, she can see the way Neve's shoulders shake, and the way her arm moves, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. They stand ten feet apart, and ever so cautiously, Ilona takes a few steps forward. This is the first moment they've had alone since she'd been pulled out of the Fade - a hell, in its own right, one that Ilona fears she may never fully understand as one who has never dreamed before. She tries not to think on it for too long.

"I know what's at stake," She begins, carefully choosing her words; what would normally pass for a joke, she dares not mention. Not now. Not after everything. "And I know what we've lost... who we've lost," For a moment, her voice wavers; Harding's sacrifice had been her own choice, made not in vain, but the loss of Lucanis was because of her own decision.

"But you..."

Thoughts of the future, thoughts of after - little guarantee can be given for what Elgar'nan might yet have in store for them - but fighting until the end is necessary if they're to save the rest of the world from certain death.

"You didn't give up waitin' on me," Closing the distance between them, Ilona first raises her hand to the small of Neve's back, slowly moving around to stand before her. Despite the difference in stature, she doesn't break eye contact. "I want an after with you, Neve Gallus, whatever it might look like. I thought I was gonna be stuck in the Fade forever, but now... now I'm here. And I'm not goin' anywhere."

Ilona looks to the way tears stained on Neve's cheeks, deep brown eyes still glistening in the light of the hearth. It makes her heart ache. Calloused hands reach up to cup her face, thumbs just reaching to brush away tears beneath them. Her own throat feels tight all of a sudden, exhaling a shaky breath; it threatens to spill over if she were to speak again, but she manages a quiet, low "Come here", drawing Neve downward. She stands up on her toes to meet her halfway in a kiss, still keeping her hands cupped around her lover's face. In turn, Neve's arms quickly wrap around broad shoulders, nails raking along bare skin. But as it deepens into something desperate, Ilona's fingers slide into Neve's hair, against the back of her head, drawing them even closer, body to body, heart to heart.

Even as her calves begin to burn from the effort, she refuses to break apart. Not now, not ever.