#[ also idk how ic this is? i just thought it would be quite tricky to write from rai’s pov all things considered ]

[lostacelonnie]

Hey welcome back! Seems like you had a heck of a time & a lot of fun so im glad for you. Oh? Im intrigued i love spanish food do you remember any of the dishes? Oh hell yeah the sea at night is. So different but still so cool. Totally different from daytime. Oh the same ones from your class? I really should remember to ask to add friends there more but adhd. That is some. Incredible luck damn. Yeah! Australia is just. Full of animals hazardous to your health like that its wild. Nothing is safe not even the birds. Hm. Yknow im not sure i ever had a specific class for geography i think they might of bundled it into history for me but oh well. Kudos on the rad teacher you had for it. Seems they're few & far between. Gosh yeah mood i had 1 good pe teacher that made it fun to just. Get out & do things. Probably why i like to hike so much. Thanks! I got seele so now its time to save for wolf. I saw people saying she's not as good now & i was like what? She'll probably be op always. I have main story caught up finally & not much has after luofu story end. Yet anyways. Though im curious about like. Yang & himeko in other stories like hi3. & otto i think his name was? Also uh. Genshin is getting childe's master who at least has durandal's va. Not sure if she is an expy yet though. I have so many now but i think the next 2 or 3 all have one i want so uh. Rip my primo hoard. Yeah! Even artifacts seem a bit easier. Though that might be because there arent so many sets yet. Yeah for sure. Which is still funny because so many back in 2.0 thought she was gonna be terrible & now shes a staple of like so many teams. Oooh congrats on the chem score that subject is so tricky. !! I adore im in love with the villainess the series is just. So good.

HEHE HI!!! YEAH IT WAS JUST. SOSOSO FUN AUUGH. i miss her [alicante beach]. our homeroom teacher said we Might go on one more exchange in the upcoming years so im EXTREMELY hopeful for that. and of the dishes yeah i remember a couple!! montaditos [like. little sandwiches served warm], empanadas [an argentinian dish actually, theyre like little. well the look kind of like dumplings but they have a different dough. with meat and vegetable fillings] paella [its like. a rice dish idk how to describe it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paella], tortilla de patatas of course, and churros [its like. fried dough, but usually eaten as a dessert, often with hot chocolate]. anyway. RIGHT???? ITS SUCH AN. EXPERIENCE. AHHUGH. and yeah the same ones from my class!! theyre very fun even if literally none of us have common interests and hang out based on vibes only. like literally theres me, my Dear Classbestie [likes classical novels and goth music.], The Chainsmoker [writes poetry. was in 3 different psych wards and tells stories about them. Horrendous political opinions. adhd icon.], The Artist [crochets, draws, animates. likes the magnus archives.] and The Ice Skater [christian koreaboo? strange but very fun to talk with. as her nickname suggests, shes obsessed with ice skating. adhd icon #2.] so were kind of a mismatched group but we chillen. ANYWAY I STARTED RANTING SO COMING BACK yeah i have the same thing ajdjlskdkfldf but ah well. perhaps one day i will Rember. AND FOR REAL LIKE I WAS LIKE "gonna get attacked aaaaaany minute now". and then i??? didnt????? but i generally consider myself a lucky person so. damn i heard the Stories ab australian animals... actually my sister just recently moved there so i might ask her if she has any stories someday. and oh thats???? quite interesting actually. as in i suppose it makes sense why these two would be one subject but its pretty unheard of over here. hm. and thanks!! we actually have a group chat for fans of our geo teacher JSJDK and i think a part of why pe teacher is so cool to us is because shes also our second homeroom teacher [since the first one is from spain and, as my classmate once responded to the question if hes cool, "xabi is a nice person but hes just so spanish". and by that i mean he does Not know what is going on. Ever]. HEY CONGRATS ON THE SEELE AND ALSO ON GETTING WOLFIE IN THE FUTURE!! idc what meta says shell always be op. To Me ❤. ALSO I AM ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS UP TO TALK ABOUT THESE THREE IN HONKAI [tho for welt specifically i rec tumblr user caydencrypted, The Welt Expert]. AND OH OH HUH??? DO TELL ME AB HER???? also speaking of biankas va. did you know she shares a chinese vn with yanqing!! the range is insane!! and ah good luck in getting everyone you want o7 i managed to get furina luckily [tho i also got jean in the process.............] and now im torn between pulling for her weapon or saving for arlecchino.... i have 70 pulls left but ik weapon banner is a scam so auugh..... but also the sword sounds like. Good. so ill think about it. and yeah right?? tho i actually have Pretty Terrible relic luck compared to my artifact luck so. yeah. but auto battle does make it less painful. ANYWAY THANKS HEHEHE!!!!!! just had another test this week and im a little nervous ab it but i feel like i did well. VERY stressed ab my history exam next week tho. 7 am on monday. and im a bit sick rn so i have less energy to study. but eh ill be fine, i just wanna pass. AND RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT IM SO OBSESSED WITH IT ACTUALLY......... maaaaaay or may not have bought physical versions for the first two novels three days after getting into the series akdlkdf. luckily it was near my birthday so my mom decided to fund them for me. BUT AHHHH IT IS SO GOOD i keep meaning to read the 3rd novel but ah..... so busy recently.........

[xiaolindude]

💀 you know i had to

@heylincorporated

send  💀 for my muse to die in your arms.

It was supposed to be their safe place.

The house they’d reconciled in, shared memories, shared years together. Their place. The only place in the world Jack has ever felt truly safe and happy.

Now it’s nothing but rubble.

They must have thought he was at home. He should have been at home – all he’d been doing was going out to get some chips. ‘Nah, Pedrosa, you keep lounging about, ya slob. I need to stretch my legs anyway,’ and he’d been gone.

Twenty minutes. He’d been gone twenty minutes, going into town, picking out the chips and meandering back home, lost in thought about his next ‘business venture’, as he liked to call it. Now he stops dead at the sight of their home, so beautiful when he’d left, now a smoking, burning ruin. His blood runs cold. No.

The chips drop to the floor as he tears into what’s left of the house.

“Raimundo?!” he shouts, scrambling over the wreckage, falling, pants catching on sharp edges and broken glass, stubbing his toes on huge chunks of brick and plaster and remnants of their furniture. Parts of the wreck are still burning, the flames dancing along their pictures and papers.

Rai is nowhere to be seen.

Jack’s voice rises, yelling for Raimundo as he continues to search through the rubble, throwing things out of his way as he moves towards the centre of the house.

And finally, Jack spots him. “Rai!”

He’s lying motionless, trapped beneath a beam, eyes closed.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! “No, no, Rai.” 

Jack hauls their couch out of his way, gritting his teeth with the exertion, then stumbles over. “Shit, Rai, wake up, c’mon…” he says, voice taut, grabbing Rai’s face and tilting it from side to side. Heart thundering, Jack reaches for Rai’s neck, searching for a pulse. When he finds one, he all but collapses in relief.

He’s gotta get that fucking beam off of him. Getting his footing, Jack crouches down and seizes the beam, struggling so hard his muscles are screaming at him; he yells in the exertion, face screwed up in his efforts. It’s no use – the beam is too heavy to even lift onto his shoulder, let alone move.

“J-Jack Bots!”

His voice shakes. Are there even any left?! Please, please let there be some left.

There’s a crashing and a whirring and two mostly intact Jack Bots approach, followed by another that is sparking and missing an arm. Three bots left – the rest are with the rubble, smoking husks of his own wasted genius. But he only needs three.

“Help me with this. Get it off him!” Jack orders desperately, still gripping at the beam. The combined efforts of three machines and one evil genius are just enough to heave the beam to the side, freeing Rai’s crushed legs and midsection.

The beam falls with a crash and some crunching; Jack pays it no mind, staring in horror at Rai’s legs, their positions all wrong. He’s broken. He’s broken and barely conscious and Jack feels like he’s gonna be sick any second. He collapses to his knees beside Rai, pulling him into his arms and holding him close, his eyes clenched shut as tears cut tracks through the dust settled on his face.

“Pedrosa, c’mon, don’t ignore me,” he whispers, trying to joke. His voice breaks instead as he cries into Rai’s bloodied hair.

There’s a twitch and then the tiniest cough. Heart squeezing in his chest, Jack draws back to look at Raimundo, dazed to see very familiar green half-lidded eyes blinking up at him. The breath of relief that escapes him is harsh and shaking; he brings up a trembling hand to stroke Rai’s hair away from his face. 

“Hey! Hey…”

He’s alive. He’s awake. He even gives the tiniest little ghost of a smile. Jack’s relief is short-lived as Rai coughs again, deeper this time, and blood dribbles from the corner of his mouth. 

“Hey, Spicer…”

Rai’s voice is barely there – Jack strains to hear it and it’s cracked, like cobblestone. Like the rubble all around them, the broken bones of the place that was supposed to be their sanctuary.

“Look at this mess, Rai,” Jack murmurs, still cradling Rai against his chest, his other hand stroking over his cheek and lips. “Can’t leave you alone for five minutes.”

Rai smiles faintly again but it quickly dissolves into a wince; his head lolls weakly onto Jack’s shoulder. “I’m glad you did.”

“What?”

“’m glad… you left me alone.” Rai tries to lift his hand, but it barely makes it up a few inches before falling again. Jack catches it and lifts it to press the palm against his tear-stained cheek. Rai’s thumb brushes feebly against Jack’s cheekbone and Jack leans into the familiar caress, staring down at Rai with blurred vision.

“… so glad you weren’t here, Jack…”

Jack bites back a sob, his eyes screwing shut as he leans into Rai’s hand, shaking his head. “I’m not. Rai… fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry, I shouldn’t—” It’s all his fault, right? They’re his enemies. No one else would have done this. It was meant to have been him, not Raimundo.

Rai’s thumb moves to Jack’s lips, silently shushing him; Jack kisses the pad of his thumb, pushing his own hand gently through Rai’s hair, thick and tacky with blood.

“… think… I need a doctor,” Rai manages to get out feebly, coughing up more blood. Jack tries to hold him a little more upright and brushes the blood away from his chin.

“Jack Bots! Call 192. Give them the address, get them here now.”

He knows it’s pointless. He’s not an idiot. The thought has his stomach rolling with waves of nausea and his blood starting to feel weirdly heavy,like lead, but he knows. Rai was practically crushed to death beneath that beam and the rest of the rubble and, judging by the blood he’s coughing up, probably bleeding internally. Even now, Jack watches the blood leaving Rai’s face like a receding tide.

Rai shifts in his arms, gripping at Jack frantically, too weak to lift his weight butdesperately trying to pull himself up, to go somewhere, to not lie here as part of the wreckage, another casualty of the implosion. He’s not ready to die and it only makes Jack cry harder.

All but blinded by his tears, he looks around at the rubble, then desperately to his remaining robots for help. Most are destroyed. That’s okay. Robots he can make more of. But he never learned how to recreate humanity… and the best of the bunch is dying in his arms. Not peacefully, not ‘ready to go’, but angry and desperate and fighting it.

He clutches Rai tighter. “I’ve gotta get you out of here…”

Still trying to move, Rai groans and whimpers in pain. His legs won’t move but his arms and head just about will; he grits his teeth, tries so hard, but Jack shakes his head.

“C’mon, c’mon… I gotcha, just…” He doesn’t know what to say. He can barely speak through his tears now and he leans down to kiss Rai’s cheek and lips. “I love you. Just stay awake for me, they’ll be here soon, they’ll fix you.”

But Rai’s stopped fighting. And Jack knows. There’s only one reason Raimundo Pedrosa would ever stop fighting.

Rai stills before he goes limp. He stares up at Jack for a couple of moments, then his eyes become unfocused and his gaze shifts to somewhere over Jack’s shoulder, staring at nothing.

“No. No, no, no, Rai, c’mon, c’mon, look at me. Look at me!” Jack’s words come out as a shout, pulling Rai’s head to face him. 

Raimundo breathes again, shallow and shaking, blood bubbling at the corner ofhis open mouth. One more breath, and then nothing. He goes limp.

No. Fuck. No… This is all some awful, awful dream. Raimundo can’t be dead, not before he’s even made it to 30 years old. Who dies at 28?! For a moment, Jack feels like he’s possessed. It’s like an out-of-body experience, like he’s watching himself break down, shaking Raimundo, yelling at him, telling him to stop being selfish and come back, dammit! Come back, you stupid sorry son of a bitch! Rai doesn’t respond. 

In the end, he just sobs into Raimundo’s neck, rocking him on the spot, a hand clutching at his hair. Who knows how long he stays there. It feels like only a second and also like forever all at once; what does Jack care? It doesn’t matter.

Through the smoke and the dust, the hot Brazilian sunshine smiles down at them. The waves carry on lapping at the sand. The world goes on and Jack is absolutely furious with it. Show some fucking respect! His entire world has just collapsed in on itself, broken and snatched away for-fucking-ever – the least the rest of the world can do is pay some attention.

Those waves will drive him crazy. He has to leave. But as sure as the sun isn’t going anywhere for a while in the cloudless midday sky, neither is Jack, rumpled amidst the wreckage of their home and clinging to Rai like a lifeline. He couldn’t move if he tried.

In the distance, there are sirens.

[pasttorn]

URL RESPONSES ! ⟡ NOT ACCEPTING !

@maljefe​​ said: my url? only if you wanna though and aren't swamped w these!

DO I FOLLOW THEM ? WHY ? -  yes i follow them ! ! i’ve been following them across multiple blogs for a while now i think ? i remember first seeing loni on the dash like years ago, & i don’t remember if i was in my skull grunt blog, kakuzu blog or kankurou blog at the time ? i don’T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT BLOG I FOLLOWED THEM IN FIRST BUT ! ! ! i was glad to see they were still around & still writing loni, so of course i’d follow them & i’m glad to have a chance to write with them ! ! !  DO WE WRITE / DO I WANT TO WRITE WITH THEM ? - we do ! we wrote a bit on my oc’s blog over at hitmasked ? having crow / scarecrow interact with her would also be Interesting, since they both have such different views / morals ? i’m still debating whether or not to move my oc’s here but heck ! ! ! i reALLY DO WANNA WRITE IC STUFF W/ EITHER LANG OR SMOKER FOR LONI BECAUSE ! ! they’d both be pretty good. with smoker it’d have to be in an au setting so it might be slightly more tricky but with lang ? it could easily be arranged to happen & has a higher chance to occur realistically ? it’d be an interesting mesh up, that’s for sure. AN AU IDEA FOR OUR MUSES - hmm like i said it’d have to be more of an modern au setting for smoker ? one where he isn’t a marine ( or is, who knows ) & doesn’t have his devil fruit powers, but instead works for a the police force. we’ve talked a bit about them & i think with a bit more plotting we could figure out where it’d go ? otherwise ! ! ! i can’t really come up with something just yet kmWFDSCX lang in general doesn’t need much of an au to interact with loni & i’m still too unsure about what sort of relationship they’d have ( whether they hate each other or not ) to come up with a good au for them right now ! A SONG FOR OUR MUSES - I DON’T KNOW ! i still don’t quite know how well our muses would mesh up / don’t quite have a grasp on how their interactions would go so i can’t give a good enough song ! but since i wanna offer a song anyway, can i say that i think made for this by the phantoms fits them ? individually in general ? especially the words ‘ show the world I'm stronger / prove it to em' I'm a fighter ‘, idk i’m certain it fits for lang & smoker, & i’d feel it’d be a pretty good fit for loni too ! DO I SHIP OUR MUSES ? - like i said, i don’t know yet ! i don’t even know of they’d have a lot of tension between them as enemies or if they’re friends, so i can’t make a choice just yet ! ! ! i might start shipping them either platonically or romantically after plotting / writing them out more, since i’m always invested in relationships, especially after i talk to a muse about them, but ! ! ! ! until then i don’t really have much thoughts on the matter ! WHAT DO I THINK ABOUT THE MUN ? - i think jazzy is pretty interesting ! ! ! we’ve talked briefly before & we probably haven’t talked any more just yet because i’m so bad at making small talk or coming up with good plots ( or just keeping up with dm’s / im’s in general ) but ! ! ! i think they’re really sweet & i adore seeing them on the dash ! ! whenever i see that someone’s hating on loni or jazzy, i wanna grab a shovel & fight them because they absolutely never deserve any of that. OVERALL OPINION - loni is a pretty fascinating & detailed oc, so if well developed oc’s or badass boss ladies is something you’re looking for, you’re certainly in luck ! because jazzy has all that & more, so i’d certainly advice to giving them a follow ! ! BLOG RATE - 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

[gul-dukat-cc]

PT Barcelona Report

Shoutouts to Detective Dhaliwal/David Rood for lending me a bunch of cards for the PT, and to Callum Smith for lending me Seasoned Pyromancer on Magic Online. Notes on my modern decklist / choice : I felt with open decklists + london mulligan you had to know your deck inside and out to fully use those systems, you had to know what the mus were about as you had so much agency so I chose UR Phx, I played seasoned pyromancer to work with my leylines vs hoogak so I could mull to 4/5/6 and not die to random bloodghasts which is a real issue as thing/arclight are very weak on very low cards. pryomancer is just very good with leyline. I played gut shot over surgical main because my sb had almost no removal and my deck just wouldn’t sb smoothly without gut shot. plus gut shot is fine vs hoogak stops them convoking and fine in mirrror kills thing. I tried desperate ritual/noxious with aria so I could goldfish turn ¾ vs hoogak but gave up on this cause lazy. I tried dreadhorde arcanist main so I could keep more hands but I found the effect is kinda weak, without open decklists I value cards like flame slash/sinkhole pretty low sine I am mulling to goldfish but with opendecklists I can value these powerful but narrow effects properly, basically like having sb cards main. I played 2 aria main 1 side since I found it is tough to split payoff/enablers, but I felt 3 aria was a bit too much and I would draw aria too much when trying to go off, and it made more hands mulls with the red finale and it being clunky but it was a close call. I also thought about set adrift cause hits hoogak/chalice/aria but My experience in the best with it was not great. I tried titanshift but 0-2d a league vs neoform and mirror, I tried burn but it felt kinda weak to me 3-2d a league lost to uw with timely and rug where they force of negation to blow out my searing blaze on their goyf when I swung with spearo.

I did ~280/300 matches of MH1 Limited in prep for the pt including a trip to GP Seattle where I was granted a nice 12-3 finish (1 bye). I am a newer limited player having only begun really playing it about last year, but since then I have mostly been playing limited as I feel I have a lot more agency in the games and prefer the format. However, since I am relatively new to limited I don’t feel I was able to truly process the amount of information I was receiving as most of what I was learning about in my games, is just what drafting a “master” set is about, and how to handle combat and complex boards in this type of limited environment, so a lot of my attention was drawn away from the actual evaluation of cards and trying to understand how to maximize my value in the game in-game decisions. My plan going into the PT was to soft force black, I wouldn’t just force it if it clearly wasn’t open, but I wouldn’t be shocked if your win rate would be higher taking any black uncommon, or even common over the best green rares and blue mythics p1p1. I found the black decks had so much more synergy and power than the other colors, (I felt the snow decks could trainwreck quite easily and just wasn’t very impressed by springbloom druid) Br and Bu being premium whilst the other black decks were about the same as any other archetype, I wasn’t sure about my read on the format since I am not a limited master and I saw players had different evaluations, but in a practice draft the day before Max Mick agreed this strategy seemed fine, and Malavi/Lars Dam had hit a 2030 elo drafting black every single time. I just found I would win a lot more with black decks and they felt much better, with my previous experience I felt soft forcing black was a reasonable approach. First Draft I get a pretty good BR deck, p1p1 raredraft w6, p1p2 Bogardan Dragonheart p2p3 feaster of fools, black and red cards kept flowing and I didn’t pick up any particular signal except ninjas might be open, pack two I got a pick 4 pashalik mons, but at the end of the draft I probably could have a had a simliar power level ninjas deck but I prefer BR slightly. Round 1 vs Van Vaals, Michael (1966) Michael was in the same Canadian Group chat as me, I was not happy to be paired vs him as in the draft I felt too many good cards were going late and it implied to me the pod mostly consisted of primarily constructed players. Luckily for me he got a bit manascrewed g2 and g3 so I was able to win, he had a BR deck splashing blue for the uncommon ninja and keranos, he also had two hoogaks, indicative of my weekend to come. Round 2 Verdiani, Luca (1869) Versus a UW Flicker deck, not much happened just curved out and stomped. g3 we both mulled to 5, I also played really poorly g2… wake up call for me to not be a doofus. Round 3 Rask, Love (2008) Michael told me there was some insane snow rare deck in the pod his opponent told him about, filled to the brim with rares, I looked at my legion of putrid goblins and they didn’t look too happy, but I trusted in that feaster of fools. My opponent cast a turn 2 bladeback sliver and i’m not feeling afraid anymore, later he curves out hermit druid + dead of winter and I won pretty easily, so I was feeling pretty confident for g3. I had passed a dead of winter in the pod so I messed up a bit g1, it was a bit of a complex line of basically using my Munitions Expert on myself to grow my Scavenger past Dead of Winter, but it could also have backfired in some cases to so it was reasonably hard. After the match my opponent says my deck is insane and his deck is garbage nice.. iirc feels good man. 3-0 Round 4 Maynard, Pascal (1967) Open decklists cool, I see a hoogak deck and look quickly at the manabase and removal spells, g1 Pascal mulls to 5 and I am luckily to kill him on turn 3 or 4 with arclights at 1 life, lucky lucky. G2 my hand was just obscene, looting + 2 arclight + leyline… think there might have even been a force, Pascal just had pretty weak hands so I was able to win. Round 5 Busson, Etienne (2006) Recognized this as the Mono Red player, I was sitting at table 4 and feeling if I win another game or two I could get a feature match maybe so was happy, but wasn’t happy to see this mu. g1 I mulled to 5, game was kinda close, coulda made some slightly different decisions maybe, if I was a bit luckier and hit an extra arclight could have won. g2 turn 1 critter into turn 2 eidolon, coulda maybe ignored the first creature but killed it, interesting choice perhaps, needed to hit an extra arclight or two to win, game was super weird and I tanked the most here, basically opp had an eidolon and I had 2 arclights and I had to decide how to attack and block with the arclights, for example when opp was at 20 life and Iwas at 12 I just attacked with 2 arclights as I felt that was my best chance tow in, was pretty hard, think I made the correct choice, opp agreed game was pretty tricky after. Round 6 Futamata, Yojiro (1798) Open decklists opp is on Hollow Gaak, kinda scared and would prefer a normal Gaak list so I don’t sb poorly or whatever, a bunch of cryptbreakers main and even push. g1 I can’t remember exactly but I think my opp might have mulled once or twice, I had a thing in the ice but opp had push so we move on. g2 I kept with a leyline, opp mulls to 5 I believe, my hand was pretty good, 5 or 6 can’t remember exactly, however as the game progresses I feel I run a bit poorly not being able to trigger arclights or flip my thing for a while,  my opp casts a cryptbreaker and just make zombies and I just whiff and whiff but they mulled to 5 and my hand was good so it runs even plus doesn’t matter to my decisions, coulda made some slightly different decisions in relation to fetching to thin which I normally do aggressively, but not sure felt I played fine at worst, in the end I need to dodge either fatal push or bloodghast for one turn to untap and win but opp topdecks the ghast for exactsies feels bad man but feel I played fine. Round 7 Luong, Marcus (2019) Hoogak Dredge, g1 I needed opp to whiff on their last dredge, they had bloodghast conflag and creeping chill as outs, sadly for me they hit and I died. g2 I kept a 5 or 6 with rav trap and the card just sucks vs hoogak so I fire it off a bit early to not get gaaked and die horrible. maybe Rav Trap gamed me as I kept hands assuming it would do stuff and then it just makes me die. Round 8 Nass, Matthew (2015) Table 69, I tell Matt we have the nicest table in the room, I think he agrees. He is also on Gaak, I lose g1 pretty quickly, g2 I keep a hand of like thing + force of negation, maybe was too weak, I tried to bluff I had a leyline by having 1 card I was about to slam in play. Matt keeps a hand with a lot of removal and floods out pretty hard so I am able to win a game I felt I got pretty lucky to win. but idk. g3 I just have 2 leyline + seasoned pyromancer. Feels bad to go 4-0 into 5-3 but I feel I played fine in my losses, didn’t play perfect but I mostly play magic online and find it hard to process information irl and didn’t feel I made too many savage punts. DAY TWO My draft pod has Javier Dominguez, Raph Levy and various other pros. I am sitting next to vidi, p1p1 I take urza over mob mostly due to being 50$, p1p2 I slam a manowar, rp1p3 there is goblin war party lightning skelelemental and ninja removal spell entwine. I think wow br seems open. I remember the lr advice, I can take one of these nut br cards and get passed an a+ br deck potentially or stay on ninjas and get a maybe b ish deck on average. I took skelelemental but some of my friends who are better said first of all there aren’t many rare blue cards better than manowar so manowar is a light blue signal, second of all they said skelemental isn’t that good and they said thirdly the two blue cards are too good so they’d try really hard to play it. Might have messed up my draft as RB was very very not open, I continued taking UB cards but Vidi was also in UB, p2p1 I took a fallen shinobi and didn’t feel black was being cut til mid pack 2 but was too late then, still I feltmy deck could win games. Round 9 Wijaya, Vidianto (2013) We play a Ninja Mirror, I just wait til he taps out both games and use fallen shinobi, I accidentally stole one of his lands and when I return it to him later he says fucking fallen shinobi. Round 10 Levy, Raphael (2112) g1 was pretty close, I had a choking tethers and every turn just needed him to have 1 less spell to get lethal, he had a marit lage enchantment and kept playing snow lands every turn, I Had 2 strings so I wasn’t too scared but cascade sliver + lots of removal was enough to kill me in a close game. g2 I had 18 lands due to 3 cycling ones, I side out a talisman for a spell snuff since talisman is in my deck to ramp into cards liek pondering mage/urza/first sphere/other nonsense vs more aggresive decks where I need to get on the board, here I want to be aggresive but those cards aren’t that aggresive and I felt spell snuff would be good. I keep a 2 lander with choking tethers as the hand is just good with an urza in it but sadly I get stuck on 2 lands and draw both spell snuffs, i’d sb the same again but felt kinda bad. Round 11 Matsumoto, Yuki (2000) vs BR, g1 my opp casts a silumar scavenger I spell snuff and untap, my board is urza + 5/6 lands with talisman and 2/2 token, my opp has like 4ish cards in hand and board of changelign outcast + bladeback sliver + 5 lands, my hand is like fallen shinobi + strings, can’t remember exactly what else I had in hand, I believe I also might have had a preordain in my graveyard. My deck doesn’t have much removal really outside of 2 strings and choking tethers so I try to be aggresive and close game quickly, I bounce the bladeback with strings and fallen shinobi the urza, Ken Yukihiro sitting next to us laughs,I hit a land and volatile claws *fuck* and pass. opp hardcasts an igneous elemental killing my 2/2 token, I can’t attack with shinobi so I cast urza and pass, they now goatnap shinobi I chump with token they cast dragonheart and suddenly i’m way far behind and feeling terrible, I feel I prob messed up this game somewhere, I just saw an insane line and went for it, coulda thought more but honestly likely would have came to same conclusion, g2 is pretty close but pretty much my opp casts a bunch of big creatures and removal and I die since my deck is just very medium and leaning on fallen shinobi or smoke shroud to win. Feeling pretty bad since my winrate in MH draft is muuuuchh higher than modern but I felt I just need to learn more for next time, feels bad but here we are. I felt my choices were mostly reasonable even if they might not have been the best I tried. Round 12 Vorel, Andrew (1847) VS Hoogak, can’t remember much, just leyline g2 and g3. puts me to 3-2 vs hoogak and I was doing well vs it on modo idk close mu. feels good to win Round 13 Jones, Derrick (1817) Izzet Phoenix Mirror, g1 I go turn 2 thought scour myself mill phx I scried on top, gut shot + bolt your thing in the ice and end up winning by goldfishing better I suppose. g2 my opp has to surgical random things to protect his thing from my flame slash but I am able to have a nuttier hand and win. feels good to be winning in modern atleast today. Round 14 Prosek, Dominik (1969) We get into a disagreement late into g2 whether a card was in my hand or graveyard, I believe I went to cast bolt and grab dice for aria and when I looked again my bolt was in my graveyard and I didn’t say I cast it, but it is possible I just messed up somehow, we end up with like 7 judge calls and with diminishing time extensions get a draw in a g3 I felt very far ahead in (two arias on 5 on turn 5 of time) but opp didn’t slowplay as they also believed they would have won close game, my first really fun game of teh weekend as g2 and g3 were just extremely grindy both players slamming haymakers, mostly said my favorite cause I was just winning a long game. Round 15 Wijaya, Vidianto (2005) I get pretty lucky and win a PHX mirror, I make a small misplay maybe g1, drew my 1 of rav trap g2 and draw pretty nutty, but that’s what I signed up for. Round 16 Stihle, Julien (2008) For 750$, I didn’t know at the time but I sure did after, g1 and g3 I mull to 5 vs UW, still kinda close, feels pretty bad wish I would have shuffled more idk, think I played the games fine,g2  felt pretty good though as I get to use the gy ability of two seasoned pyros and win a drawn out game. kinda bummed at myself for getting a draw in round 14, but I think I played fine, got slightly sloppy when time approached but that is fine by me considering the circumstances, I shouldn’t have spammed the judge calls so much but I don’t play much irl so I learned my lesson. a painful one. also I felt kinda dumb about the second draft but I still liked my decisions based on my previous experience even if I got a 1-2 record. happy with 9-6-1, felt I played ok but I feel next time if I can queue I will be able to focus a lot more. PT was overall more fun than I expected, the venue was a lot nicer than a GP one, you also get to spend a lot of time around die hard mtg players whereas at a GP I feel more like an outcast since I play way too much mtg, here I felt most players also do so. You get lots of cool stuff and etc. Also drafting is fun and you don’t even need to day 2 sealed to do so.

[gurguliare]

tm 001 in that case, but only after you're caught up.

Favorite character: Fourteen Fifteen I THINK? I FEEL LIKE A TREE BEING CHOPPED DOWN AND GRANDMAG IS THE BLUNTED HATCHET

Least favorite character: Even, though I do find Even’s open warmongering funny

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): grand/fourteen, tenfour, signet/polyphony/our new friend volition, grand/reveries (sorry everyone. echo grand is really cute my interest in it is just conditional on ballad and grand having had an orchestrated public debate and perhaps a fancy handjob in the interim; ballad: oh thank god finally someone in this benighted place willing to get their hands dirty. grand: [debating the right moment to bring up his fullbody prophylactic skinsuit]), uh………. …. tender whispering fleet words “SEE YOU LATER, SPACE COWBOY” over declan’s freeze-dried corpse. did i not leave myself a space for problematic sho/cadent under mirage, okay, well, that’s because it’s been six months but i still miss it

Character I find most attractive: exploded janky carcanets ironclad. despite the still-unfortunate name

Character I would marry: why the fuck would I do that

Character I would be best friends with: maybe JUST the body politic as I have a solid track record with law adjacent, public-minded aliens

a random thought: I can’t… I can’t believe Grand was sociopathic enough to send a bomb to holiday party but also SAT THROUGH ALL OF HOLIDAY PARTY, WEIGHED THE EVIDENCE, AND DECIDED IT WOULD BE UNFAIR TO KILL EVERYONE just because of some unkind things spoken in the heat of the moment. I guess those are both differently sociopathic. and while in general I would prefer to avoid the term, it does seem to be a behavior profile Art is trying to evoke (with interesting nuance and plenty of human context!) and also I just…………. Grand……………………………………………

Proud of you for arbitrarily settling on the right* thing, buddy

Also I can’t believe that during spelling bee 2018018 Grand didn’t take the opportunity to respond to “grandmagn…I-F- if what?” with “IF I SENT you a bomb—” 

An unpopular opinion: I have no clue. Maybe that I dislike determinism drama so much that it gets in the way of my appreciation of Figure A’s story, which I thought was otherwise well done?

my canon OTP: tenfour I guess?? or signet/polyphony?

Non-canon OTP: is anything noncanon that Austin’s rt’d fanart for

most badass character: polyphony…? or fourteen fifteen i’m still proud of them for exploding. I dunno, no, I’m arbitrarily giving this to Blueberry because I love them and they tried really hard that one time, and now have apparently, uh, bunked off to be a spy, which is important

pairing I am not a fan of: it’s not so much that I’m not a fan of Gig/Kent as like, I can’t believe how persistent Austin was in acting like Gig/Kent was de facto a thing, which certainly had tragicomic results IC but……….. why….

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I really thought there was going to be some kind of explicit thing about Polyphony-Volition merger being a “solution” of sorts to Polyphony’s lack of independent desire, though mechanically that’s obviously tricky… I don’t think it’s a screwup per se but I do think a missed opportunity? Also the increased embroidery and then sudden writeoff for Quire felt wasteful–it’s sick, it’s panicking, it’s dying, it’s dead, idk guns are back. Also I was embarrassed by the discussion of What To Do with Cascara, I think I liked it better when tablefriends had overt conversations about “oh it’s good we didn’t kill the lesbian” rather than skirting around the issue of [sole visibly disabled npc]

favorite friendship: in the course of answering this meme I’ve realized that I really don’t ship Grand/Echo at all and do earnestly appreciate their friendship, especially, as noted, from the perspective of Grand’s closet full of fancy handjob skeletons. also “Signet” and “Tender” but more on that later

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: Echo has quite enough family to be going on with so I would maybe take a sibling OFF their hands? just for afterschool bubble tea?

[lostinruans]

"If you had one last meal, who are the three people you would want to share it with?"

(Background)

Tonight my friends and I decided to go check out Metro Presb's College Group. We had checked out their Sunday service a bit over a month (?) ago and really liked the praise, the message, the vibes as well as the atmosphere of familiarity and warmth and hospitality. Everyone was very chill and welcoming and friendly, but did not cross borders in terms of being cringey or overly invasive or intimidating. As a result, we wanted to also check out the CG for the sake of experiment, experience, as well as furthering our understanding and growth in terms of fellowship, prayer, and knowing God through people and study. It was a group larger than what I was used to, but it was not suffocating or overwhelming like other settings may be; it was a cozy, enthusiastic, modest group of college students and whatnot. But that brings us to the main purpose of this post...

After eating and before starting a quick bible devotional and mini bible study, we did a small ice breaker. Usually, icebreakers can be quite underwhelming or boring or just awkward, but it was quite spicy and mind whetting. The question, aside from name and school and year, was something along the lines "If you had one last meal, who are the three people you would want to share that meal with? Dead, Alive, whatever. Who are the three people?" We didn't really talk about why, but we did giggle and laugh or say "aw" and "mmm," and even mention like what we would want to share. Of course ya boy had to think about it seriously and was getting confused and flustered as to what to say as people shared and the thoughts progressed. Of course me, being indecisive af, couldn't decide between certain people or choose between dimsum or KBBQ, but the people were what got me more triggered. And don't get me wrong, of course I dont mean any hard feelings or less feelings for people I didnt share or mention about, but yeah...

My answer for the three people I would share a final meal with would be (1) my mother, (2) my church's assistant pastor, aka the collge pastor, aka the youth pastor, aka my mentor, and (3) I couldnt decide between either my counselor/mentor from high school or Job from the bible. And so we talk about who, but we didnt really talk about "why," and I'm not sure if it's because it'd take too long, it'd be too personal and intimate, or they just didnt want to. And I understood that we still got hints and assumptions of people's personalities and stories from the people, but yeah the "why" factor I guess didnt hit until maybe later as we talked and shared and prayed and fellowshipped together. But yeah so, imma just explain my answers.

I would want to share my last meal with my mother because I love her. I fail at loving her a majority of the time, I fail to be patient and caring and graceful with her. I find it hard to understand her at times and I often question her words and choices or even her hesitance for some things. But the purpose of me choosing her is because SHE loved ME unconditionally and unendlessly. I am extremely grateful and undeserving of her. She pushes me to do better, but she also lets me be who I want to be. She helps me even though I somemtimes even avoid trying to do work or help her. She waits for me even though I am barely even thinking about waiting for her in the moment and can only think of my own tiredness and weakness and laziness. Ya know, typical cheesy peasy. And there are so many people who do not have the greatest relationships with their mother or parents, or there are parents who just suck at being parents and parental figures, or there are just places of misunderstanding and lack of listening and empathy. But I'm not saying my relationship with my other is all rainbows and unicorns and sunshine, but I'd say she is a great woman and great mother, and I love her and try to love her at the end of every day.

I would want to share my last meal with my mentor and college pastor, Wayne. I barely knew Wayne a fear years ago, he was a stranger, he was just an older guy who talked and questions and drove us. I'd say it's probably only been like 4 ish years that i've known him, but overtime it's been a long ride.. I don't even remember how we got into the gist of being mentor and mentee or how we got to know each other more or how we got to be "closer." But yeah, it's been a wild ride and still is a wild ride. Wayne hasn't really changed much, other than telling more jokes and stories or having a bit more sass and sarcasm from hanging out with the members of the church, the youth, and the college kids I guess? But I think the change has mostly been with me, with my mood and depression and struggles with identity just shapeshifting and flipping and switching randomly. My feelings are quite inconsistent and amorphous and it's been both tough and easy on me just trying to live and breathe and exist. But yeah, I think having Wayne there whether it was planned, random, or reluctant for me to meet with him has been helpful. Especially as I began to try to be more honest and open with him, I've been appreciative of having him being there for me as I fought with my faith and my feels and with people. I think he's definitely one of the people who has showed so much love and grace that exemplified God's gifts and blessings to the point that I couldnt do much except accept it. And Idk. I still have lots of moments where I swerve him or get intimidated because I don't really know what to say or share with him, but he's always worried and caring and wholehearted in his conversations and notices when I am down or confused or just somewhere else. And I think that makes him a huge role model, mentor, father figure, and friend to me, and I would want to see him in my last moments or if I were to go elsewhere. And I feel like some people have even felt the sense of impact when I shared about who I'd eat with, that some people and the

The last one gets kinda tricky. I wanted to say something wholesome, but I also didn't want to be like throwing shade or comparing even though no one knew the other people I was talking about. But yeah, last one I said I couldnt choose between my youth group counselor/mentor/friend dude (Charles) or Job from the bible. I would choose Charles because, like wayne, we've also randomly been through a lot of conversations and experiences and such. Although, for Charles I haven't been completely honest or wholesome in my intentions and conversations with him. Honestly, I haven't really been honest with him until recently, and I think it's helping our relationship as friends, college. and brother grow a bit more even thogh we don't see each other much. But we also kinda started off at wrong terms because at first I was really enthused by the fact that I'd have someone to talk and fellowship and pray with one on one, but I kinda lost hope and trust because of youth group specificities, but that's an old and other story!... But yeah, we've mostly been through thick and hurtful and quiet instances, but I still try to appreciate him and learn more about him and want to meet with him even though he's busy with almost everything possible with adulting except for children (for now) and he is important to me as well as my faith.

But I also kinda would wanrt to talk with Job from the Bible. So in the Bible, they talk about this dude named Job. And Job kinda had it all, he has land he had a wife he had kids he was doing pretty well and had plenty to live with and live for. But then one day, Satan and God are just kinda having a convo and Satan's like aye, I bet Job would stumble or turn away if he was living in the rough. And so they kinda just test Job to see if his faith would last. And they did everything from like taking his family, his kids, his everything away from him. Literally everything except for his own body and being. And that's probably rough af because I get super dramatic if I like lose a snapchat streak, or money, or a job, or something smaller. But anyways, Job, after losing it all, just strips down naked, sprinkles dust on his head and sits... Like just existing. And his "Friends" come over and they're just trying to like comfort but lowkey criticize him like question if maybe his faith wasn't strong, or wasn't right, or whatever. And at the end, Job kind of confesses how he feels but ultimately sticks with God's plan and purpose and how God works and thinks (at least I think so). And so idk. Eventually God restores his things, his family, his people and stuff. And idk, i think I would just want to talk with Job before I died/if I were to die because I would want to know how he stayed faithful and continued to love and trust God even in the deepest, shittest moments. Like if everything was gone, how could he still keep his head looking up to the heavens? And usually I'd respond so such things with a "well that's now how i feel" or "thats not my situation." Especially when other people share testimonies about hpw they used to be hardcore muslim and their family disowned them, or their parents or child died, etc. But Idk, idk why I was tempted and pressured to say something Biblical and "wholesome," but it also felt right from within my heart to say "Job."

But yeah. Who knows. That was such a tricky, lowkey intense icebreaker question. But yeah. LOL idk.just blurbing and posting just for the sake of letting my thoughts spill out for abit. vvv spicy.

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 11: “Recalibrate How I’m Playing This Game” - Caeleb

okay I'm writing a long confessional then going to bed.

Jules was robbed. I was really gonna idol them when Jones/Caeleb told me Jules was getting votes, but Jules was only getting 5, and I naively thought both that Jason wasn't going to flip and Tom wouldn't self vote AGAIN ASKDLJFAF.

I'm frustrated because I love Jules. Jules was robbed and deserved better than having to deal with Alex who like will tell Jules they made a mistake and ugh. I'm frustrated that I didn't idol Jules, even though it wouldn't have been smart and would've put me in a tough game spot, its just all super tricky sigh.

in other news, Jones/Mo/Mitch need to go. I'm super proud of Mo for doing something (like genuinely) and not playing passively, I defo underestimated him, but him and Jones have way too much sway on this tribe, tied to Mitch who is clearly able to work people.

I think a good end-group for me would be Me/Benj/Tom/Julia. I really really like Caeleb but he actually is playing super smart, so I really don't think I can have him sticking around much longer.

I think a good new bootlist is: Jones > Mitch > Mo > Jason > Caeleb

I'm just frustrated because Jules was robbed and really did not deserve that, Mo/Jones are too powerful, and now so is Mitch. I'm gonna idol one of them out, and I'm going to love doing it.

Holy fuck what the fuck that worked. Ok so here’s what just went down, Jules said to Jason that she’d be fine voting out either me or Mitch. People were leaning towards Mitch. We had like 20 minutes left and we started discussing and I threw out to Jones, what if we get Jules out, but she kinda ignored it and carried on with the Mitch plan. Because Jules has a lot of connections I can understand why Jones would be hesitant. So then I throw the pitch rob Caeleb and Mitch throws the pitch to Jason and they’re both on board. But that would of only been five people. Meaning it most likely would of tied so we were like ok I guess we’ll just vote Mitch. BUT THEN BENJ GETS ONLINE and he’s like “Yeah I’ll vote Jules.” SO I SCRAMBLE BACK TO CAELEB LIKE WAIT VOTE JULES WE HAVE THE NUMBERS. SAME WITH JONES AND JASON. WE GET JULES OUT. Which of course is sad because she’s literally a sweetheart and she’s super funny, but she had so many people in her corner and her and Ali combined was a scary combo. BUT I MEAN I HAVE A COOL GAME MOVE IN MY POCKET NOW THAT I DID (with Mitch) BUT WOW ME.

Whew chile!!! I must admit that vote was VERY scary and VERY hectic. I thought for a moment my game was ending. Thankfully my social relationships with people allowed me to stay and send the person who was targeting me home (Jules). Now this is GREAT for me because i trusted Jules the least on the merge tribe. The communication thing never worked out between the two of us but i still find her to be a very nice person :). In regards to the vote, Mo/Caeleb, Benj, Jason, and Jones all voted to save me. To me, I feel like this means im in a really good position because everyone likes me enough to SAVE me. Up until 5 minutes before the deadline, I thought i was done for. I gotta be careful with who I work with in the future because my threat level is rising. People in touchy subjects saw me as the one who thinks they are running the game but are not, but man is this far from the truth. I'd like to say that although I didn't know what was going on COMPLETELY, I still pretty much helped/forced the target onto the person who went home. Ian- Told Alex about how I suspected Jason and Ian of being a duo (correct assumption according to ali) and everyone ended up splitting between the two (I did not care who went). Alex- I pushed very hard for alex to go because he was so dang controlling and i found that very threatening. Jules- targeted me first but I never trusted her because of how little we spoke. When she decided to target me it was the icing on the cake. Hopefully these next few rounds are smooth sailing because we NEED easy votes for at least a little bit.

okay so i am trying SO hard for immunity, like its not even funny. i think i have 100+ points right now, with more videos uploading and with more planned photos tomorrow. immunity would be SO sweet, because that'd guarantee me a spot in the F8, and with my idol F7.

in other news. if i haven't said it enough, it must be said again. BENJ IS SUCH A KING. like today he told me he wants to go to F4 with Julia and Tom. I truly, truly could have shed and wept real tears. That is exactly the F4 I want, like EXACTLY ,and Benj agrees, and we are going to make it HAPPEN.

He also wants to separate Mo/Jones this round... and like honestly, I'm so down. Like I think he wants to vote off Mo versus Jones which I think is a bad idea, since Jones is a better talker and more of a threat, but his argument about Jones being a shield makes some sense.

my ideal bootlist moving forwards for the season, although it requires like julia/tom to stick with me and benj pretty tightly, is:

Mo/Jones > Mitch > Jason > Mo/Jones > Caeleb > F4: Me/Tom/Benj/Julia

and also since i love doing this for no reason, this would be my ranking of those left if i was to go to jury this round:

Mitch > Jason > Jones > Benj > Caeleb > Julia > Mo > Tom

Mitch is SO savvy, and so likable, and I could see as a definite winner, having survived so much. I can't decide if Jones is a threat because she is just so likable, or if she is actually palying super well, but I have both her and Jason very high in my opinion. Benj is so smart, I feel like he probably isn't considered as such by the other threats, but I hear him talk game - he is super woke. Caeleb is actually playing a very smart game too, flipping back and forth. I definitely underestimated him in early merge, his MIND. Julia I think is super game-savvy, just her style gets in her own way sometimes. Mo I feel like definitely did stuff last vote, but I see him as Jones' shadow/goat right now so would need to see much more. Tom I'm stuck because him self-voting twice I think almost definitely excludes him from winning so its hard to tell how I'd feel about him in an FTC. the main thing is that... we shall see.

BUT I AM WINNING IMMUNITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sending this now bc I forgot. Jason beat me in reward OOPS but I can still possibly win immunity,,,,,? Maybe?

Eek me at jules being voted out, honestly i didnt really know what was going to happen at that tribal for the sole fact that everything started moving whilst i was asleep but im kinda shocked that it ended up being jules.... Like i personally wouldnt have made that move right now maybe in like 2 more rounds. Its quite scary the fact that mitch got so many people to turn on jules when i thought she was quite the loved player. So I've gotta keep an eye out for him he's probably playing the best game atm but i think ill try to take him out sooner rather than later

I think I might have to recalibrate how I’m playing this game. I honestly didn't think I was all that close to Jules so her cursing me kinda surprised me. SO, that means I think a lot of people are gonna be cursing me in the upcoming rounds. Not that I am planning a lot of blindsides, I just feel a lot closer to the people actually left. Julia might be the only one that wouldn't curse me at this point, but also she might because she doesn't like me all that much. And being cursed a bunch might put a really large target on my back too.

y'all i just found another idol im SCREECHING. and its a boujee one too, a sapphire idol. I'm so AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, i know where 2/3 idols are for sure, I'm truly screaming.

This was me an Mitch on call when we realized we had the numbers to vote out Jules

heres the thing, i prefer the selfie scavenger hunt when im on a team because that way im motivated to get stuff done out of fear of letting everyone down. where as by myself, i let myself down all the time. ali is scary good at comps and im lazy.

ALI FOUND THE MERGE IDOL AND ITS A SAPPHIRE IDOL AHHH!!!

IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM/US BUT ALSO LOWKEY PISSED BECAUSE I GET ALL THE BRIDGE STEPS AND THEN HE GETS LUCKY AT THE VERY END LMAO. AGAIN.

BUT OH WELL ATLEAST ITS NOT SOMEONE ELSE!!

And if I had any doubts (I never had) about him betraying me before I have 0 now.. u like have to really trust someone to tell them u have 2 idols LOL I could literally expose so much right now

BUT IM NOT GONNA WOO!!! BEST DUO IVE EVER HAD! Like I know it will be hard to beat him at the end but idc I want that duo story for us

Literally an idol magnet king I knew I chose the best ally on day 1

sapphire idols sound kinda annoying tho cuz u cant choose who its played on . like what if ur plan actually works and u idol the person u wanted gone LOL

lowkey would rather a normal idol ?? anyways ali went off in immunity and its final 9 idk who will go but I kinda want like mo gone (king) but we have no strategic bond so.. plus he will slip by to the end otherwise

I doubt that plan is gonna work tho cuz idk how to lead votes!! im flop sheep!

Update on idol hunt - I'm killing johnny

Update apparently I’m running a vote KSKSKKFMFMFFK take back EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT NOT NEEDING POWER LMAOOOO

ok so Storytime

I’m talking to Tom at like 5:00-6:00 ish, and he says he hasn’t heard anything but he’d be down to vote Julia if other people were voting Julia (at this point this is the only name and it was said by Tom and that’s it)

At this point I tell Mo what Tom said (Bc tom and I were talking about Mo) and he said he wasn’t surprised Julia’s name was brought up

Talk to Mitch at like 7:00 ish and he’s apparenrly being targeted by Ali and for whatever reason I have this hero complex and I wanna save him all of a sudden?? I also feel like he’ll be a big shield down the road that everyone else would want out over me so it makes much more sense to keep him? SO I tell him about Julia.

I Run to Mo, tell him about Julia plan he’s on board. MOs talking to Caeleb, and Jason wouldn’t go behind Mitch’s back. So that’s already 5 people I think voting Julia, 6 if we include Tom and 7 if Benj also knows. Which I’ll probs tell him.

So ya??? Turned an idea into a plan!! I’m doing that y’all. Idk?? I’m proud. I don’t need need this much power after this round or else my ego will be the size of my dick but!!! Idk guys I’m proud of myself.

(Literally only 35 minutes later)

Literally having a stroke tonight laid ease

Uhm apparently Tom/Jason/Ali had an alliance and were trying to get me out and tried throwing me under the bus to Julia and tried saying shit I didn’t say,, so ya,,, :)

Tom tried twisting it like I was the one who threw Julia’s name out bc apparently she’s inactive? Which is cute,, I said jack shit about that. So ya.

Um I’m voting Tom tonight now. I’m an indecisive bitch tho so it might change but. Fuck Tom. We gotta break up this alliance apparently. Julia’s the only person that’s said shit to me this whole day about what’s happening so I’m more likely to believe her than anyone else sooo ya. Fuck Tom. Fuck these men.

[ciebei]

I could write a Thousand Memoirs for us

Ichiruki. Drabbles upon drabbles. AUs, Canon, Angst, (vaguely) Not!Angst...

I’ve been going through old writing lately and staring at WIPS, and realising that a lot of my older stuff feels more vivid than my newer. I wanted to capture just a huge range of Ichiruki movements - a spectrum - in this collection for @blooming-stars, because that’s just... idk, how it goes? And I wanted to tie up loose ends from as far as November 2016 and as recently as a few months ago. I hope you enjoy the fallout, and happy happy birthday! x

Ranges from Most Recent - Oldest (with additions/edits to majority of pieces).

______________________________________________________________________

Ephemeral, but in the wonderful, fantastical sense

AU where Rukia is captain and Ichigo is lieutenant/not-so-ryoka-ryoka. Kind of Not!Angst. 469 words.

“I’d like to end up where you do.”

      She whispers into the skin of his neck, arms burrowed tightly around the span of his shoulders.

He can place her voice by instinct, and finds himself swayed by it; his response sticky on his tongue.

Her words hold the kind of tone she uses to describe her childhood. Byakuya. Her gradual ascent through the ranks. It’s soft, and tender, and raw. That kind of rawness perfectly contrasting to her bird-bones, and her bravado. He doesn’t think much else about it, and drifts off again.

Awakening comes with a cold palm to his cheek; his neck, and then his side, like a long, cooling wave.

      Through his lashes, and the hazy array of colours, he can make out a form of what he thinks must be their bedside. The slow-diluting morning sky.

Rukia pats his hipbone with a straggling arm and grits out, “Look alive, sunshine. I’ve got duty in 10.”

Ichigo would rather she and him go back to sleep, quite honestly. He’s been pushed to the brink lately, expending obscene amounts of reiatsu for cadets, and their general lumbering stupidity when it comes to Giant Hollows. (Because of course, if they think their soul can handle a gigantic murderous phantom then by all means, their ego should drive them to their deaths). His ribs whine as he rights himself and stumbles across their room to find her lips. She complains, but only for the fact that her Shihakushō pools back down at her ankles. He doesn’t mind.

They have made it through another day.

“…I was worried Kidõ wouldn’t do much good after last time…” Rukia admits, as they draw back, and his heat flushes her. “I was worried that my chest would become a… a tomb.” She laughs, but it is sad.

      A bony graveyard, he muses, and huffs.

Ichigo feels her nails grate against him slightly as she draws him close, until he finally finds his voice, and the slight pinch is displaced with silky finger pads. It’s rough. It’s tired. But it’s honest,

                            “I’ll always be here.”

      He presses his palm against the small of her back, unravelling his other arm to twine around her shoulders. His head is fuzzy, and, yeah, twenty seconds later he’d still rather be in bed - with her - and still feels the kind of feeling where nothing is momentous, just a liquid stream of half-conscious dream remnants, and yet every breath he takes is a new one, however painful, so that really ought to count for something. An award. A plaque. He wonders how he could best say this to her, instead settling for a slow moving kiss (and as much skin-to-skin contact as internal bleeding allows for).

“You should be in bed.” She finally says, and he nearly (nearly) laughs.

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The Bonsai Wilt Without you

Post-686, Ichigo lives in SS; light exploration of Rukia dealing with Ukitake’s passing. Angst. 78 words.

She walks into her office and finds a beautiful bouquet of flowers on the anniversary. And first, she thinks oh — Ishida and Inoue must be doing so well - until she walks closer, and sees some are crumpled and some are wilting and it’s all in shambles, absolute shambles. And it’s lovely. The colours clash— it’s lovely.

The card reads ‘To 13th squad — Ichigo’ in chicken scrawl, and that’s the first time she cries about Ukitake’s death.

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(Ex)Hero, (Ex)Convict

Version of the dbprompt ‘cape’ that I discarded. Angst. 210 words.

He wore a cape, that day, looming over her in the storm of flames, the intensity of the sun in the eyes he had fixed on her, molten; unwavering; true.

It’s a memory that has rarely left her side, and one that still burns into the corners of her dreams sometimes - an endless afterthought.

She, he tells her, wears a cape everyday. She wears it on mornings where the world feels like a deep, dark, unfathomable ocean, and he like the seabed. She wears it while she laughs, and her smile crinkles the clear cut of her face, something small and easy, but tremendously revolutionary to him.

He, she tells him, is more deserving of the word hero.

    (She, more deserving of the word captain).

But heroes are something you leave buried in the bedrock. Heroes are something that - if ever they did exist - existed as a taste of something better. A taste of change. Extraordinary in their timeline but a vestige of the past to a better man turned a bitter man, a broken man.

That is why, he is now 23, wears no cape, no fire; no smile. He has just the afterthought of memories on his tongue, and the crushing grip of déjà vu in his bedroom.

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(Calluses don’t suit Snow).

Ichiruki/Hichigo exploration, Post-686, Angst. 410 words.

He misses her each time the blade slung over his back holds more weight, and rougher covers, and the burden of a senseless evil. But he supposes her being unaffected, and away from harm, is the best case scenario for them both.

    A private monarchy isn’t so bad anyway. Maybe his essence is. The way it attempts to crawl forth and mingle with him: the way that is oil mixing with water - futile; messy; unwilling. One-sided, at best. 

But Shirayuki had always felt too clean in his hands, silken edges sliding against his rough skin.

Shirayuki enjoys deception perhaps even more than she enjoyed her company. Perhaps, even more than she enjoyed baring each inch of her soul to Rukia Kuchiki as the last jagged form of ice had been slipped onto the crown of hair beneath. (She had risen with lashes full of snow, eyes full of storm, and skin full of frost - a near-echo to the pit of her soul).

    Shirayuki enjoys the creeping turn of black-fringed-red to her vision - perhaps - even more than her companions’ coronation.

              Perhaps, even more than she should.

.

Rukia had seen it first. The peachy hues of sky dulling as each crest of cloud plunged to darkness; to a pit of grey. A wash of nighttime that had invoked such a visceral fear that for the first time - and not for ice - a shiver had run the length of her spine. She had lost sight of the summit; of the angry snap of ice at the rocky base, and the bright sickle-cut of that month’s new moon.

      Her senseless climb had begun with a jarring sense of urgency clawing at her throat, every thought was a trail of panic; every step a burning of limbs. All the warmth had fled her bones with each movement; each cry from Shirayuki to raise her hands, raise her hands, raise her hands. And what- meet the blackened orb that tainted her sky? The wind - a tricky force - blisters her skin with cold and sears her under a familiar weight, so, for that - if nothing else - she keeps her ground and growls: “No.”

All the breath she is able to spare is ripped away when the sole of her feet touch the peak. Amidst the arms of trees, and the falling of shadows, sits a throne of ice.

        The eyes that glint back to her are not a clear lilac, but the burning gold of something else.

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Summer Sundown 

Discarded prompt for dbprompts ‘Queen’, where I was gonna make it Fluff. (Clearly didn’t get very far). 29 words.

        “This is plenty.”

“Yeah?” He sighs, a twinkle in his eyes as he turns to let his hands drift in the water of their pond.

       “I think so, too.”

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Halcyon Days

Another discarded prompt for ‘Queen’, where Fluff and happier birthdays were also on the agenda. 45 words.

He says, “C’mere,” and doesn’t let her choose.

      He pulls her down with a gentle hand and a laugh, the soft murmur of her complaint lost to his lips in the winter. She tastes of the remnants of ice, and that lonely scent of night.

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Pious

Exploration of Hichiruki. 81 words.

His eyes are two full chaotic vortexes. And she knows the taste far too well to fall for them.

Each illusion; each shadow-pass of his face, she knows.

      (Knows down to her core.)

Enough to know that every lonely echo and scrape of laughter from his throat forms not the man she loves, but a different being all together.

If a God can be as cruel, and as merciless, and as malformed as he, then ichor must run through his veins.

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Death in all Three (Free) Forms

Originally titled ‘Just: to Be’, exploration of Post-686 and reflecting on Post-Farewell Swords, too. Was gonna make this a whole sha-bam. 35 words.

He thinks that, if he was only living when he was with her, he must be dead now.

      He must have been dead all of those years ago.

What does that make the other world?

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We Would Wear this to A Funeral

Post TYBW and the dealings of the Gotei-13. 313 words.

“How are the 10th’s barracks?”

      Kyouraku seems to be in a daze, Ichigo decides, because that is the tenth time he has listed off a barrack that every single soul in this room knows to be massacred.

In fact, Seireitei has now morphed into a beast - more maw, and red insides than anything else. More bite. More of a rubble-creature.

                      More nothing.

      Really, he’s done a very good job of keeping his mouth shut so far.

“-Closed off. Destroyed— half-fucking- obliterated by the war that we all just—“

Byakuya gives him a look that makes him angrier, and he almost bites the bait, almost. But there is even the level of superiority that a Kurosaki won’t touch; it clouds Byakuya’s eyes like a thick fog.

    There’s a heavy pause.

“Ichigo.” Rukia says, after a tired sigh and a long, long moment, “If you could just be quiet while a captain is speaking, that would be appreciated.” Her tone is gentle and reprimanding, but it makes his gut wrench in a sickening fashion. He doesn’t realise he has just pressed a fragment of Zangetsu into his palm until blood drips hotly onto his waraji. That will stain. Though what won’t?

        The smell makes him feel violently ill.

    The 13 squad guardians are in disarray.

Usually, he’d excuse Rukia - she rarely seems to be out of place - but war does that funny thing where it almost rips apart every single person and every single feeling you love.

(Almost. You still have them.)

          Does he?

Her gaze is distant, even, and of course he knows that the death weighs heavily on them, but they are death gods, and he could be doing better than just sitting here and feeling each reiatsu layered with a storm as if he were the rain.

        Maybe that’s what he needs. For someone else to break before he allows himself to.

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Forget-me-Not

Post-686. Rukia pov. Grieving for a not-so-dead dead man. 259 words.

If there was a method of extraction, quicker and less painless and less awful than this melancholy drag, then she would take it.

She would take it over vengeance. Over her blood boiling at the sight of orange; of stars; of light. She would take it over every single strand that has been weaved into her broken tapestry of bones. It is fragile and cruelly withstanding, and it thrives on vengeance. It is not malicious. It is wholly self-destructive, and perhaps, what she prides herself with the most.

         It is oil-sick; the heavy drag of hands on her skin.

              It is dark; the absence of the warmth.

She wonders if it will always be their fate to die by her hand.

            Somehow, they both grow.

She notices only because his growth is in the tiredness of his posture, in the gradual slope of his shoulders; the grit in his voice. It’s the kind of noticing she performs when each year Seireitei’s grand gardens harbour trees with just a little more height than the year before, or when she has too many late nights in her office boxed in by endless stacks of paperwork, and the next time she scouts the cobbled city streets is in Spring. When the air is lighter, pollen caught on the fringes of wind; flowers in full bloom and trees their great, lush green. A sudden noticing.

Maybe it’s the Universe’s version of remuneration, to this whole mess. At least he can live a normal life. At least she gets a slither of her wish.

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[ifeelyou-johanna]

Girlfriend tag 1-80

1. Describe how you met each other. I was working for a magazine. A friend of mine asked me to write a preview for this theatre program she was directing and invited me to sit in on a rehearsal. Lo and behold, Hana walks in and I’m completely smitten. Afterward, we grab Korean BBQ and find out we actually matched on Tinder a couple of months earlier and just never messaged each other2. What did you first notice about each other? I don’t exactly know her answer, but I first noticed her presence (aura, if you want to use that word). She commanded the room through her contagious laugh and smile, her bouncing energy, her attention to the person with whom she was speaking to. Also her style was cute as fuck. ALSO she was the most beautiful and aesthetically pleasing person I’ve ever laid my eyes on3. Who first asked the other out? Hana sort of did through Tinder when she was standing right next to me haha but then I was like “no seriously, want to get dinner some time?”4. Where was your first date? At a restaurant near the theatre called Lunch & Supper. We then grabbed ice pops from my former work place and then I saw her performance. After that, we got tacos with her cast5. Who was first to verbally say “I love you”? I was6. How did your first kiss happen? Who initiated it? We were at an art museum, and since she knows ASL, I learned how to say “Can I kiss you” in ASL. Apparently, I learned it incorrectly, so she was confused at first, but then I did it again and she put the pieces together7. When is your anniversary? June 19, 20178. How long have you been together? 3 months9. What made you realize you were in love with her? I could write volumes about that. But for now, I’ll keep it short and sweet: Hana is the epitome of what a girlfriend, a partner, a friend, should be. She is supportive, caring, attentive, loving, affectionate, hilarious, tender, adventurous, and forgiving. She is everything I need in a girlfriend and so much more10. Where you friends before you became lovers? Not really actually haha we kind of just went in head first11. Were either of you out before getting with your girlfriend? Yes, both of us were12. Have either of you dated a girl before getting with your girlfriend or is she your first? I was the only one who had actually dated other women before we started dating. So technically I’m her first official girlfriend13. When is your girlfriend’s birthday? Who is older? March 1. I’m older by almost a year and a half14. Do you live together? No, we’re not at that point yet haha also we go to different colleges so that makes it tricky15. Have you met your girlfriend’s parents? If so, what was that like? I have! I spend so much time at her house that her parents are used to me being there. Meeting them was nerve-wracking for me. I really wanted to show them that I wasn’t just a temporary thing, and that I care very deeply for their daughter16. How many people are in your girlfriend’s family? She’s an only child, but her extended family isn’t too terribly large17. Whose family do you hang out with more? I think I went to her house more frequently this summer?...she’s met both of my siblings AND my parents, which is more than any partner I’ve had in the past18. What is a typical date night like for you and your girlfriend? The best part is that it is never the same. We don’t really have a “typical date night.” It can be anything from a night drive to getting Taco Bell at 1am to dressing up and going to dinner to going to a drag bar. However, we always end the night in bed together19. How do you usually spend your time together? We love adventures. Every day is a new and exciting adventure. We’re exploring, we’re discovering, we’re driving or walking or swimming. However, we also love to nap together. Often times she’ll nap and I’ll be laying next to her and just be while she sleeps. But I love that20. Have you ever been mistaken for sisters? No, since we have very different features (I have curly strawberry blonde hair, she has straight brown hair), but we’ve been mistaken for best friends many times21. Have you ever worn your girlfriend’s clothes? I’m currently wearing her shorts. I have quite a few of her clothes, and she does too22. Have you ever experienced any discrimination or prejudice because you are a same sex couple? There have been a couple of occasions where people have made comments, fetishizing our relationship. Additionally, we’ve had requests for threesomes and nudes and have been sent dick picks. But no one has been outrightly like “oh look at those two LESBIANS”23. Does anyone you know disapprove of your relationship? Not that I’m aware of24. How much PDA do you do? I would say a decent amount. If it’s not too hot and we feel good, we’re at least holding hands. But for the most part, we like physical contact and PDA25. Do you have any pet names for each other? A few. My love, my girl, my peach, sweetheart, babe26. Does your girlfriend have any pets? She has two dogs27. Who is more likely to cook a meal? I would only say me ?28. What is your girlfriend’s favorite food? Least favorite food? Apples. She loves apples. In terms of least favorite, I know she doesn’t like raw onions or tomatoes29. Who is more likely to cry for no reason? Ha probably me30. Have you ever been on your periods together? Oh yeah. We synced pretty quickly31. Can your girlfriend play any musical instruments? She used to play piano32. Who is your girlfriend’s favorite musical artist? I don’t think she has like a top favorite (edit: upon asking her, she actually doesn’t have one, so I’m right)

33. What is your girlfriend’s current favorite song? I’m not entirely sure about her top favorite, but I can name several that she loves!34. Do you have a couple song? Peach by The Front Bottoms, along with many more. But definitely Peach35. Do you have a couple name? No one has given us one yet!36. Who is more likely to forget where they put things? Honestly both of us are very prone to doing that hahaha37. Which side of the bed do you each sleep on? I usually sleep on the left side of the bed, so she’ll be on the right38. Does your girlfriend have a job? She used to work as a swim instructor, lifeguard, and kid zone/day care person39. What do you argue/fight about the most? I don’t know if there’s really something we always argue/fight about...probably something petty40. How do you usually get over a argument/fight? We talk it through. Feelings are addressed and then we try and work on a plan from that point on. We always end with I love yous and asking if we’re good41. Who is more likely to refuse sex? I’d say it’s pretty even, but we both really like having sex with each other, so it’s not really an issue haha42. What nationality is your girlfriend? American43. Does your girlfriend play any sports? Not as of right now44. Does your girlfriend root for any sports teams? I think New York since she has family from there ?45. Does your girlfriend have any quirky habits? I mean, don’t we all? I love all of her habits. It’s in the way she laughs or drives or sleeps46. What is one thing your girlfriend does that you don’t like? She picks at her zits and scars and such even though I tell her not to. It causes scarring!!47. Who is more likely to remember an important day (i.e. birthday, anniversary, etc.)? She has a good memory of like random things that I won’t really remember, but I think I might remember other types of things ? Idk48. What is your girlfriend’s eye color? Bluish green49. What is your girlfriend’s shoe size? She’s an 8 I think?50. What is your girlfriend’s dress size? Small, that’s all I know haha51. What is your girlfriend’s favorite TV show? I’m not entirely sure. She definitely has favorite YouTube shows/series52. What is your girlfriend’s favorite movie? She likes comedies, but I can’t recall a favorite as of right now53. Who hogs the covers more when sleeping together? We both do it tbh54. What is one item on your girlfriend’s bucket list? I’m not entirely sure. I think travel to certain countries is on there55. Who is your girlfriend’s #1 celebrity crush? FUCK I don’t know off the top of my head damn56. Is your girlfriend more likely to save or spend money? She definitely likes to save it, but she’ll occasionally treat herself or me :)57. Who squashes the bugs? If they’re in the shower, I’ll get them. But she likes them when they’re not in the shower with her58. Who is more likely to forget to turn the lights off? Me59. What is your girlfriend’s favorite color? Black60. What is your girlfriend’s middle name? Danielle61. Who is more likely to randomly burst out into a song? Both of us tbh. Probably her more so62 Who is more likely to randomly start dancing? Her, for sure63 Who usually pays when you go out to eat? Me hahaaaaa but that’s because I’m faster64. Have you ever taken a vacation together? If so, where to? We did! Blue Ridge Mountains and it was SO great65. How tall is your girlfriend? 5′5″ maybe? I know she’s taller than me66. What is your girlfriend’s number labeled as in your cell phone? Her name haha I have a cute picture as her contact name67. Is your girlfriend religious at all? She’s Jewish! Her family is Jewish, and she’s done BBYO in the past. She actually just wished me a happy Rosh Hashanah!68. Who is more likely to spontaneously be romantic? I think it’s equally split tbh69. Whose laugh is cuter? Hers70. Who is the better driver? She’s a pretty good driver, I’m pretty decent. I’m not sure if someone is better than the other tbh71. Who is the better singer? Hahaha she definitely loves singing in the car and in her room, but she likes listening to me72. Who is the better dancer? Her. Without hesitation or thought73. Who is better at math? We both hate math fuck haha74. Whose handwriting is better? Hers without a doubt75. Who is more likely to sign a card or a note from the both of you? I don’t think we’ve had to do it yet, but I definitely think we’d both do it76. Have you ever discussed marriage? Yes!!77. Have you ever discussed having children? We haven’t necessarily discussed the ones we want together, but we’ve talked about what we think about having kids as individuals78. What is one thing about your girlfriend you think most people don’t know? There’s definitely stuff I know that she doesn’t share very often with people, but this really isn’t the platform to share it. There’s a reason why she hasn’t told many people haha but on a less serious note, she has a condition where one of her thumbs is shorter than the other. She’ll gladly show you, but most people don’t know it until she shows them!79. Choose one word to describe your girlfriend. Why that word? Warmth. She is my ray of sunshine. She spreads warmth and light wherever she goes, no matter the mood she’s in. She brightens up my day and makes me feel like I can grow and flourish and blossom, just as the sun does for flowers and trees80. Pass on one piece of relationship advice. Communication. Hana and I have been pretty good at this, but from a personal standpoint, my biggest piece of advice is to communicate. People aren’t mindreaders. So if something is bothering you, say it. Along that same line, don’t keep things from each other. It will just fester and end up hurting more than helping. So that goes along the same line on communication.