#[ 🦋 ] jaspers. — an honest mistake

[acinonyxantidote]

I've been thinking about the game (shudders) recently because I've been having some vague Jaspers memories of it...

Firstly, I remember feeling a lot of pressure. Our session was a doomed one and as the Prince of Doom, the destroyer of Doom, I felt like I had a larger role to fulfill than the others. But perhaps that was just my ego getting ahead of me. From the very beginning of our session, from even before that, I had already fucked up. I had to make up for it! But, I also had to keep ushering things along.

...Yes, I messed up sometimes. Rushing the others along when they weren't yet ready. Assuming they understood things but never checking in. There was just... so much going on. The Lusii. Ugh.

Of course, I never did realize that this focus on optimistic rigidity and Doom itself did its fair share of destruction upon me as well :'). Out of the four of us, I had accepted that I was the lowest on my priority list. That I might not have made it all the way. Do with that what you will.

Sometimes I think that, if anything, I am glad that we had each other. That even amongst the chaos, we weren't alone. That we got to brave this grand new thing together! Other times I think, maybe it should've just been me. Now, I'm not an idiot, I know how indescribably difficult—impossible, even—that would've been but... sometimes the thought just pops up, alright?

...I think that's all I have for now, and I'm not sure if I want any more! The lot of a Prince is just constant struggling, hm? I guess I'll finish with this:

My destruction was never a rebellion—it's just what I do.