#[ ◉¯] ✧˖° → This is pretty standard Spider-Man stakes. [ Open Starter ]

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"If you're gonna puke JUST PUKE, it's not healthy to hold it in."

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Open Starter !!!

"Okay, so was back when I was in my EARLY twenties right?" Peter took a moment to take one last sip of his drink before continuing his story. " I was still working at the Daily Bugle as a photographer. Well I was running late and I had to SPRINT to catch the Q train."

"I barely manage to catch it right? And it's still early enough that it isn't too crowded, so when I see a whole bench empty, I didn't have any reason to be suspicious. (I'll remind you, these are like dark blue bench it's very easy to not see when they are wet!) So I did what any REASONABLE person would do, I walked over and I sat down." He took a bit of a pause, shoving a fry in his mouth before swallowing.

"So I sat down right? Immediately feel my pants wet and then smell the INTENSE and UNDENIABLE sense of urine. I sprung up so damn fast and just in such an OUTRAGE and just shouted at the rest of the other passengers. ' YOU ALL WATCHED ME GO TO SIT DOWN AND SAID NOTHING?!' " Peter shouted the last bit with his entire chest, really getting into the story he was recounting. (It still outraged him to this day, because if he had been SPIDER-MAN and not Peter, they would have warned him! It's BULLSHIT!)

"So of course I had to RUN OFF the train at the next stop because I had to go home and change my pants. There was no way I was going to work SMELLING LIKE SUBWAY PISS!" Peter's hands were flying around, emphasizing every word he said.

"So of course, I have to call my boss. And Jameson of course was just like 'NO ONE CARES PARKER. GET TO WORK NOW! SPIDER-MAN WOULD STILL KEEP BEING A MENACE EVEN IF HE HAD PEE PANTS SO SHOULD YOU!' Which is just INSULTING because NO SPIDER-MAN WOULD NOT! I should know! but of course I can't tell him that.." Peter finally paused for another long sip of his soda.

"So yeah.. that's the story of how I quit my job at the Daily Bugle."

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"hey hey hey, my UNIVERSE, my SPOT!!!" He didn't even bother to look up from this newspaper he was currently flipping through from his spot on the building's ledge.

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"You drive me CRAZY! I just can't sleep, I'm so excited, I'm in too deep! Whoa oh oh, crazy, but it feels alright! Baby, thinking of you keeps me up ALL NIGHT!"

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"Sure, I could get a girl topless, no bra, with ONE hollowed-out papaya, some crushed ice, and TWO FINGERS of rum...but then I grew up. Now I ONLY WANT to make a drink a coal miner would want. Straightforward. HONEST. Something that says, ‘I work in a hole.' "

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"I'm not convinced I KNOW HOW to read. I've just MEMORIZED a lot of words." Does he have a concussion again? Maybe.

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"You know when you are DROWNING.. you don’t actually inhale until RIGHT BEFORE you black out? it’s like NO MATTER how much your freaking out the INSTINCT to not to let any water get in is SO STRONG that you won’t open your mouth until it feels like your head is EXPLODING and when you finally do let it in?… that’s when it STOPS hurting.." It was a random fact that no one had really ASKED FOR.. and maybe he had been talking to himself more than anything else. (He probably had been.)

"Yeah.. I'm fine."

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Everything, and he does mean ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING hurt. So he was just going to lay right here on the ground. This is where he LIVED now.

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"So good when we slow gravity, so good (It's so good, it's so good)..." Peter sang under his breath as he typed away, his 'old man glasses' firmly on the bridge of his nose. "Breathe one, two, three, take all of me, so good..."

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" I don't have a doctor. I don't have insurance. I don't go to doctors. " Besides, most of his injuries tended to heal in a couple of days on their own.

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“You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol, and you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol!”

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"A bank is just a paper bag with fancier walls"

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“When I work out, which isn’t OFTEN, I listen to Huey Lewis because it PUMPS me up.”

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"I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

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“It’s a weird life, but it’s where i’m at right now.”