#@ the team spice it up!! do your fucking jobs like what are you getting paid for ??

[causticsunshine]

.

[goldsbitch]

Right?

summary: Y/N is a photographer for McLaren F1 team. Hard working, goal oriented professional who would never put her career in jeopardy for some stupid crush, right?

That is until a photoshoot gets out of hand and there is no way to go but forward.

warning: swear words, male x female, angst

part 2

______________________________________________________________

You're a professional. Right? Always been, proud of your hard work and strong will. If you want something, you go and get it.

It's by no chance that you're standing exactly here - in the McLaren F1 paddock, in the middle of buzzing neatly organized and timed chaos prior to the start of the race. "Read the grid, feel the paddock" was a line burned to your memory by your first boss, now the Media head of Redbull. You've learned what each and every one of the people do, what their job entails, because one day, one day you want to be more than a photographer for the team's social media.

You're a professional. Had a dream and went for it, no matter the sacrifice or long hours. Always on the road, detached from your peers. Because your heart beats for this.

You'd never do anything to compromise your job. Right?

The hardest part to ignore is his scent. You can evert your eyes when he walks to the room like he owns it - and one would say he actually does, he is the team's no. 1 driver for god sake. His voice can almost be blocked out by focusing on a conversation with a different person or headphones if the situation allows. But his scent seems specifically tailored to messing with your ability to focus, so much sothat you've considered wearing a mask and pretending to be a super freak about germs.

Ironically, scents are hard to recall. And you would know, you've tried several times on lonely nights in hotel rooms, with the goal to make you finish just a little bit faster. A moment you'd really love to forget is standing in a perfume shop trying to figure out what is that magical formula. Because it can't be due to the fact that he is wearing it. Right?

However hard it is for you on the inside, one would never know of your tiny little crush from the outside. Always keeping it casual, with every photoshoot staying professional and holding it together.

It was Lando who had the idea to do more of an intimate (his words, not yours) photoshoot than usually, to spice up the feed, as he bluntly said during a casual PR catch up. This was the reason why you were standing here. In the middle of the forest, alone with a big camera and one light for the subject in question, your biggest crush in history. You were sure he was having a great time putting you outside your comfort zone, the cheeky fuck he was. But then again, he probably really did not give a shit.

"I can't focus if you'll keep looking at me like that," Lando stated like a spoiled child.

"Come again?" you asked, geniuenly confused.

He jumped around few times, as if he was about to run a marathon. "Show a little enthusiam, why so bleh today?"

"You're right, my mind went somewhere else."

"Oh, am I boring you? Well, that's bad. We should be promoting my merch here, but even the person paid to be here can't seem to be bothered!" His tone changed. He raised his eyebrows, challenging you to up your game.

You're a professional. No doubt about that.

Focus, get your head back. Your energy boosted up again, here we go! "Ok, Norris, back to work!" You're well aware that a great photo comes from the subjects ability to connect with the photographer. "You're right, this isn't working. Let's get into the car."

You both left the random wood spot and returned to his sports car that brought you here. "Sit on the driver's seat" you instructed.

"Oh, as if there is a different way this would go down."

"Come on, let's drive around. And be fast," not sure if you were incouraging him or yourself.

"Like the sound of that. Buckle up, otherwise you'll have blurry photos."

And with that he reversed back on the main road.

After about 15 minutes of driving back and forth with a casual drift on the turns, getting pictures of him driving in his new jacket and shades, the adrenaline levels were pretty up in both of you.

"Parked it up here" you instructed again, having him stop on a hill with a view on a city lights in the background. "These are amazing!" you said after a brief look on the photos.

Lando was curious as ever. "Show me!"

"No, you'll see them on the right time. Do you trust me?"

He licked his lips. "Surprise me?"

"Lean back."

You really got into the zone, already super excited for the pictures. They had everything, interesting lighting, composition and Lando was doing an exceptional job with his smiles. However, you knew it could give more.

"This is great Lando, truly great job! But let's do more and push it further, you ok?"

"Just tell me what to do." He looked like he was really enjoying the attention, but you tried to block any of these thoughts out.

"One thing photographers recommend is for the model to try and look into the lens as if you want to seduce it, capture those looking at the picture...It's for making models less focused on the camera and being more attractive..."

Lando pulled out his best smirk yet. "Oh, I'm not attractive enough to be your model now?"

"Come on. You know what I mean."

"Nah, I don't," he lied. "Elaborate, I'm just a simple driver."

Now you were getting annoyed. "Just imagine the lens is someone you want to, em, who you would like to"

"-Fuck?"

"Yes."

"As you wish." And as you asked he did.

He probably did it without much of a thought, but you were perfectly aware of how he fixed his posture, opened his lips a bit, moved his and got this look on as if he wanted to eat you - in the best way possible. This got you in the zone, striking one photo after another, moving your camera and getting closer to get the details, completely forgetting you were both there to shoot his new merch.

Battery low. You would have cursed yourself in that moment. Only you hardly had a second to think about this. When you put your camera down, you realized the nonexistent proximity between you and Lando. You were sitting above him on the back seat with him staring up to you.

You froze for a moment, knowing there is no battery left in the bag.

"Well that is us done for today," you focused on the camera. How on Earth can you be so stupid.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." You suddenly realized you were way, way to close to Lando. The damn scent, again.

"Damn, I like these kinds of photoshoots."

"Uhm, yeah." You did not want to move, but it was becoming socially unacceptable for you to be sitting on him for this long.

"Have you done this with Oscar?"

It's hard for you not to laugh at that thought. Every photoshoot with Oscar was a nightmare with the atmoshephere being so dry that everyone with an inch of taste had to tell from the photos immediately.

"Not yet," you said trying to preserve the facade. " But if these work out and the team likes them, we might recreate this with him?"

As if that was even remotely possible. You should move now. Why isn't he moving?

"Shame, thought it was our thing," his voice was becoming more raspy with every sentence.

And with that - you lost it.

"You still have the look." How is this sentence coming out of your mouth?

"What look?" he said, moving even closer to you.

"The models look."

"Remind me which one."

"The "Fuck Me Look"...But I'm not taking photos anymore."

"Interesting."

"Why?" You stopped breathing a while ago.

"Because I think you have it too."

part 2

[luvth0t]

WHAT YOU CAN’T HAVE ━ L.H

in which you’re christian horner’s daughter and fall for none other than lewis hamilton himself after months of sneaking around in each other’s beds.

warnings; mentions of christian horner, events of 2021 silverstone, monza and abu dhabi, no need to discuss or hate on anyone please! fluff, smut and angst all in one let’s go. masturbation, oral, unprotected sex, mentions of an age gap, choking, face fucking, spanking, praise, mention of nude photos, some mention of anxiety? barley though, she’s kinda long too like usual.

(not my gif)

growing up the daughter of a spice girl and f1 team principal meant there wasn’t much you couldn’t have.

blessed with a privileged life of never hearing or being told no, anything you wanted your parents would provide. any goals you wanted to achieve, you were already ten steps ahead of others your age.

and you recognised this. incredibly grateful for the life you could live due to your last name, the connections it brought, the advantages it gave you.

well into your early twenties and unlike most you weren’t studying, instead travelling the world in a redbull jacket; going country from country, the title of your dads personal assistant on your paddock credentials which meant absolutely nothing.

your father was a control freak, he needed no personal assistant. but you wanted to get into photography, and claimed him landing you a job as a photographer would be way too easy.

you wanted to work for something for once in your life.

so you followed your dad around, practicing; taking photos and getting him a coffee every sunday. you had started in 2019, by the end of 2020 on your own merit you had become one of the few photographers for redbull.

for their social media page. meaning it was now a phone in your hand not a camera, but you didn’t care. a promotion was a promotion. you would happily try work your way up the ranks until you were being paid to have an actual camera in your hand.

the only real difference between the camera and phone was now you only focused on redbull. when you could take pictures as you pleased it was whatever you deemed fit.

the fans. the tracks. the drivers.

photographing the drivers was something you didn’t do too often, having felt awkward and out of place standing with the group of photographers at the paddock entrance.

but as you grew familiar with a few faces, or more so they became aware of your hobby, every now and then you’d snap a few photos of the beloved stars of the sport.

that’s when lewis properly first grabbed your attention.

you’d always known of him, obviously. motorsport was huge in your family; lewis was huge in motorsport. huge beyond motorsport.

but he’d always been untouchable, even in the paddock every weekend you could count on one hand the amount of times you ever saw him. so when you had grown the confidence to start photographing drivers, for the first time ever you were starstruck when your lens focused in on him.

it was humbling, feeling the gravitational pull towards him like everyone else did. admiring him like you hadn’t any one else. you didn’t dwell over it though. once again this was lewis hamilton.

even as christian horner’s daughter you felt no shame in the attraction to him. despite being so close to him in distance every week there was a sense of security you’d never cross paths, your little crush wasn’t harmful. it was practically a celebrity crush. one you’d never admit too for obvious reasons.

but when covid hit in 2020 the number of people in the paddock thinned out, and suddenly lewis was picking up on a few consistent faces beyond the mercedes’ garage.

yours being one of them.

he could remember the first time he saw you, you were speaking to your dad and he couldn’t help but ask angela if he knew who you were.

he’d assumed a mechanic, maybe an intern. but really his focus wasn’t on the redbull logo you were repping so proudly, instead it was your long legs, sparkling eyes and soft smile.

“horner’s eldest,” angela had replied swiftly, causing lewis to do a double take, head twisting back over his shoulder to take one more glance at you in disbelief. to find you staring right back at him had him smirking ever so slightly, before his eyes returned back in front of him.

“never seen her before,” lewis shrugged off; unsure as to why you had taken his interest. you too were unsure, shamelessly admiring him as he walked past as you had done many times before, when he turned to look back at you, you froze. like you’d been caught in a crime.

“she’s here every week,” angela had informed; and the words had lingered in lewis’ mind for some time, storing away the knowledge that the pretty face would be one he could see again.

frozen and embarrassed was how you felt in that moment. never had your staring been caught before, and while you were sure he was quite used to meeting eyes that were already on him it still caught you off guard.

just like when he first spoke to you. you remember questioning if he had the wrong person, well actually the first assumption you had made was that you were in his way.

“shit sorry,” you had mumbled as you quickly stepped aside from were you were outside the media pen; waiting patiently for your dad so you could head back to the hotel.

your cheeks had heated the moment you looked up from your phone and laid eyes on the mercedes star, eyes widening in surprise and disbelief.

you had told yourself one day that if you ever spoke to him you’d be different to everyone else, would react normally and not care that he was the lewis hamilton. you did it with ease with every other driver.

but that had gone out the window when he was a actually standing in front of you.

“you’re not in my way,” he had laughed, furrowing his eyebrows in slight confusion, and after having a few moments to realise you in fact weren’t blocking anything and his eyes were looking down on you expectantly, you realised he wanted to speak to you.

“right; sorry.” you laughed sheepishly, the blush on your cheeks darkening, instantly feeling humiliated and stupid. “did you need something?” you had tried to recover, before realising how rude it sounded, resisting the urge to cringe.

he let out yet another chuckle, shrugging his shoulders so casually. as if this wasn’t out of the ordinary. “we’ve never met.” he explained, and while if anyone else in this paddock had said anything along those lines you wouldn’t bat an eyelash, it felt weird coming from his lips.

you had to resist the urge from pointing out the fact there was probably a lot of people here he’s never met, but settling on a simple introduction was easy. especially with the toothy smile he was flashing you.

“i’m y/n.” you had introduced, and the flirtatious grin he had given you in return as he introduced himself should’ve been enough to make you realise you were doomed.

throughout the rest of 2020 lewis found excuses to speak to you, nothing major; smiles across the paddock, nods beneath his sunglasses, a ‘how are ya?’ or ‘morning’ in passing occasionally.

well it started as occasional, then it was every weekend. small smiles became smirks, his nod of acknowledgment turned into longing glances, eye contact being held despite both of you needing to have your minds else where.

he saw you as a challenge. one of the few things he can’t have. something he shouldn’t want. but lewis loved defying the odds, he loved having to try hard for things, because while he was always pushing himself to the limit with his job; things came easier to him now.

credit to all the hard work he’s put in his whole life of course. but you had presented yourself as something he could try claim, where his name wouldn’t advantage him. instead put him ten steps behind the pace.

he wasn’t use to that. not these days.

and you felt oh so similar. everything had always fallen into your hands served on a silver spoon, but lewis? you knew you shouldn’t dare go there. you couldn’t.

your fathers distaste for all things mercedes did not exclude sir hamilton, he would have you locked in your room as if you were 12 years old and grounded if he even caught you speaking to him.

and that only made you want him even more. and why it made so much sense that the sexual tension between the pair of you was first addressed after max’s win in abu dhabi in 2020.

“are you laughing at my scooter?” lewis had spoken to you, your hand covering your mouth as you attempt to stop the bubbles of laughter from becoming audible.

“no, of course not.” you had grinned; despite being clearly amused by the unexpected image of him quite literally zooming towards you on his infamous scooter. you had your phone in hand, attempting to get signal to upload photos and videos you had captured from max’s win.

a good way to end the season, hopefully a sign of what’s to come in 2021.

“hm, why don’t i believe you,” lewis scoffed, having come to a stop. and you were delighted to see him get off the mode of transport and take a few steps towards you, meaning he was up for conversation. a rare thing between the pair of you, especially in private. “what are you doing here anyways?” he quizzed.

“trying to get signal.” you shrugged, holding your phone up to reference your words; behind the motor homes near the garbage and the gate lining the catering kitchens was not the first place you picked for there to be strong connection, but it had your phone on two bars instead of one.

you didn’t need to ask why he was here. it was quite clearly a route away from onlookers and people, a quick way back to his mercedes’ suite.

“how are you by the way? covid and all,” you realised you hadn’t asked; wanting to be polite. you two weren’t beyond small talk, in fact you don’t think there’s ever been more than small talk. time hadn’t allowed it. but for some reason talking to him had become casual.

maybe it was because of the telling looks and gazes, or the revealing grins and tempting smirks. both things you had missed last grand prix when lewis was out with covid. it had made you realise just how much attention you paid to this little unspoken game you two had going. finding yourself searching for him in the crowd automatically one too many times throughout the previous weekend.

“i’m all good.” lewis had spoke the reply he had told practically everyone this week. the questions were repetitive but he appreciated the concern. “miss me?” he smirked shamelessly, eyebrows raising in interest.

“i actually enjoyed a weeks break from your watchful eye,” you had replied with a quick tongue, the smirk tugging at the corners of your mouth wanting to match his. the first time having addressed whatever it was between the pair of you.

“makes two of us. i got to admit love - now that you mention it, you need to be more subtle when checking me out. it’s so painfully obvious.” he had told you in a soft tone, as if he was giving you some real advice. you laughed aloud at his words, nodding along as if you were actually taking on board the words falling from his lips.

you didn’t miss the use of the simple pet name, which had your heart skipping a beat but you pushed that feeling back. having weeks of preparation to do so from trying to stay composed and not get flustered when you caught him looking at you with that look in his eyes practically every day.

“oh yes, i’m the one who makes things obvious,” you laughed; raising your eyebrows to express your doubt. and you couldn’t help but admire the way his eyes creased as he smiled, the laugh he let out. did this man have a flaw?

“shouldn’t you be celebrating?” he had asked after a few moments, eyes glancing around as if the overjoyed team would be nearby, before falling back onto you.

“celebrating what?” you had asked simply, despite being fully aware of what he was referring to; max’s win of course. your answer had his lips tempted to tug up into a smirk once more, a small shake of his head as he let out a breathy chuckle.

“max’s win. with your dad.” he pointed out, emphasis on the ‘dad.’ as if he was reminding both you and himself who you were. who he was. why you should walk off right now and go celebrate with the team.

but where is the fun in doing what you should?

“not much more i can do than say well done,” you shrugged, pursing your lips as your eyes settled up at him; his eyes refusing to leave yours. and you’d be lying to say if you weren’t struggling under his gaze, but you were acting as if you weren’t. “don’t you have somewhere important to be?” you questioned back.

lewis had to stop himself from laughing again, not at your question but instead the delivery. as if you were challenging him. he liked it. enjoyed the way you spoke to him as if he was anyone. admired how like himself, you too seemed willing to risk quite a lot by interacting with him.

“i’m quite happy right here… so no.” he told you with certainty, and you weren’t certain if you saw his eyes flicker down to your lips or not. what you were certain was he had taken a casual step towards you. “if that’s okay with you of course,” he asked; cockiness oozing from his tone as if he knew your answer.

you were ready to give back a witty reply, but had to stop yourself from speaking as his hand moved to brush a few strands of your hair back, causing you to take a deep breath. it now being your eyes who flickered to his lips. that were suddenly looking incredibly inviting.

“fine by me.” you had told him in reply quietly, eyes returning to his; looking at him in question. the pair of you wondering the same thing, who’d crack first? would either of you take the first step? make such a risky yet tempting move.

but lewis loved danger, so it wasn’t a shock that it had been him. his lips connecting with yours in an eager kiss, one you had no issues with reciprocating.

while lewis was an adrenaline junkie; obviously, the feeling of sneaking into lewis’ drivers room was unmatched and unfamiliar for you. your heart was practically beating out of your chest with nerves and excitement as he snuck you through the mercedes’ suite.

the prospect of anyone seeing you in your redbull polo here was somewhat terrifying, mainly because your hand was being grasped by lewis’ large one as he tugged you along. you could read the headline now.

all was worth it however the moment you were inside, team colours being tossed aside alongside any loyalty for the next hour or two.

you remember leaving the mercedes’ suite that day under the impression that that was the only time you and lewis would have slept together. what had been brewing all year finally bubbled over, and to say you were satisfied was an understatement.

“been thinking about this for fucking months darling,”

“need you to get on your knees for me love,”

“knew you’d be a good girl for me,”

his words stayed with you the entire winter break, and you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t who consumed your thoughts whenever you touched yourself.

lewis almost felt the same, only just ten times worse.

he’d gone through every distraction possible in attempt to get his mind off of you. models, ex flings, one night stands. you name it; he tried it.

he thought one time with you would be enough to tame the want he had built for you over the year but instead it had just multiplied.

and the fact he simply couldn’t reach you killed him. instead stuck waiting over the dreadful winter until he could see you again. he was mad at himself, frustrated you had so much power over him from one time together.

but he was well past trying to deny his desire for you.

he had hoped you would be at pre-season testing, and the disappointment he felt when he didn’t spot you anywhere near the redbull garage almost worried him.

chasing someone was out of character for him. not to mention he was chasing you of all people, someone he should keep at an arms distance. but he just wanted one more night with you, needed your nails on his back once more. needed to hear you moan his name again.

so when he had seen you around the paddock on the thursday in bahrain at the start of the 2021 season, he had no hesitance in clearing his schedule for that night.

“are you crazy?” you whisper yelled when you opened your hotel door to see none other than lewis himself.

he looked awfully casual, grey sweats, a hoodie; hands stuffed in his pockets. you couldn’t help but admire the unfamiliar sight. not to mention the child like grin on his face.

“what do you mean?” he spoke innocently, the volume of his voice terrifying you as you quickly tugged him inside, shutting the door behind the pair of you, a chuckle leaving his lips.

“someone could’ve seen you!” you exclaimed, even reaching up onto your tippy toes to check the peep hole of the door, relieved to see no one on the hotel floor.

he had laughed again at your worrying as he watched you in amusement, all the while you began to realise he was actually here. how on earth did he get your room number? were mercedes’ even staying in this hotel?

“i was careful.” lewis had a lame attempt to calm your nerves, watching as you turned around to face him. it felt so naturally comfortable between the pair of you, something you had also noticed.

“how’d you know i was here?” you asked skeptically, eyes narrowing up at him; before a smirk threatened to tug on your features. “are you stalking me hamilton?” you accused playfully as your arms crossed over your chest.

“i want your phone number.” he avoided both of your questions as if it was nothing, as if it was a reasonable explanation for his somewhat extreme actions of seeking out your hotel room.

“you couldn’t have asked me at the track?” you furrowed your eyebrows, trying to ignore the butterflies that erupted in your stomach from the fact that he wanted your number. that maybe he had been thinking about that night in abu dhabi as much as you have been.

“nope.” lewis replied simply. “can’t make a move on you at the track.” he reminded you, amusement crossing your features as you let out a laugh at his boldness.

“so that’s why you’re here,” you hummed knowingly, your smile inviting him to close the distance between the pair of you, walking towards you until you were backing up and against the wall, your chin lifted so you could keep your full focus on him. “been thinking about me? planning this?” you asked, confidence washing over you and it showed with the suggestive tone you were speaking in, your finger tracing up his chest momentarily.

lewis had to take a breath as you called him out, enjoying every moment of it though as he watched you drag your nail across his hoodie. “something like that.” he answered, his hand moving to rest against the wall near your head; trapping you in place as if you’d try walk away.

“i have to leave in half an hour. dinner with the family.” you told him in a whisper, because with how close he was there was no need to speak any louder.

“you can cancel.” lewis murmured, his thumb grazing over your cheek as he took ahold of your jaw lightly; in an attempt to persuade you. but he had a feeling it wouldn’t take much to get you to comply.

“haven’t seen them for a month,” you countered, raising your eyebrow in question. you had spent the summer in america with a friend, so your mum had flew in for the first race to see you.

“you’ll see ‘em tomorrow,” lewis replied, lacking urgency or empathy; speaking as if he could stand here and come up with solutions and reasons as to why you should stay here with him for hours.

“maybe i want to see them tonight.” you didn’t miss a beat, a playful smile dancing on your lips as your hands moved under his hoodie, feeling his toned abdomen shamelessly, touching what you could of him.

“you know what i want?” lewis asked you, appreciating the feeling of your hands on him, your soft touch feeling better than what he remembers. what he has thought about all winter.

you hummed in response, urging him to tell you. “want to hear the pretty sounds you make without trying to keep quiet.” he started.

you had parted your lips to reply on cue, but he kept going. “want to see you on your knees again. want you to sit on my face till you’re screaming ━ want to fuck you again till your crying.” he spoke thoughtfully, his tongue grazing over his bottom lip. “want you on top of me again so bad. haven’t stopped fucking thinking about it,” he grumbled; no shame to his confession.

your breath had quite literally been taken away, squeezing your thighs together at his words; looking up at him as if you’d do anything he’d ask. because you probably would.

“makes two of us,” you had told him, before putting the pair of you out of your misery and crashing your lips into his.

that night was a lot different to your first time together, as desperate and eager but without the worries of being caught. able to take your time with each other, not needing to test the waters because lewis so clearly remembered just what you liked last time cause he had thought about it so damn much.

you didn’t go to dinner with your parents that night; obviously. and it set the tone for the year. every weekend one way of another you ended up wrapped in the bed sheets with lewis, hook ups becoming more regular as time went on.

started with just thursday nights, turned into thursday’s and sundays. then some weekends you’d be seeing him three times throughout the four days.

which didn’t sound like much, but with such challenging circumstances and how busy lewis was; it was remarkable how much time you managed to spend together.

what was a convenient hook up quickly became something the pair of you needed.

you would’ve worried about your dad growing suspicious, considering how you were M.I.A so often now in comparison to previous years. but luckily for you he was too caught up in the fact max had an actual shot at the championship to take notice of you sneaking off early or showing up late.

the downside of this was the fact max was obviously battling out for the championship with lewis. which put you in a tricky spot as the year went on, as the pair of them remained close in points.

the fear that it would ruin whatever it was you had with lewis entered your mind, worried he’d need to distance himself from you. or that things could become awkward due to the rising tension between those close to the pair of you.

however it only achieved the opposite, while you would think silverstone would halt the developing relationship between you and lewis; you were quite certain that the night after his win there was the best sex you’d ever had in your life.

“was worried you were gonna bail on me princess,” lewis breathed against your neck, lips peppering kisses against the skin as his chest was pressed against your back, your palms holding onto the door in front of you, having barley got in the room before lewis was all over you.

the guilt you felt while heading to his hotel room was no longer there. you had almost turned back, feeling like it was a betrayal to your father, to the team, to be here of all places after a bitter loss. but the moment lewis’ hands and lips were on you there was not one doubt in your mind about being here.

“‘course not,” you whispered in reply, a moan falling from your lips as he pressed his hips into your ass; his lips on your skin feeling too good to worry about the hickeys he was so clearly leaving.

it was comforting to hear, knowing even when things got tense and somewhat complicated, which most definitely happened today, you’d still show up on his doorstep. and he’d still let you in.

“gonna fuck you whatever way i want,” he grunted as his hands found the hem of your redbull polo, scrunching it up and pushing it up your waist. “cause i won. and you’re all mine to use as i please, right baby?” he spoke out in question, a sense of pride and possessiveness overcoming him as he, like many times before, pulled your redbull shirt over your head and discarded it to the floor.

it riled him up more than he’d like to admit, you being here; moaning his name and so eager for him even after the events of today. that you would still allow him of all people to be the one ripping the redbull uniform from your body when everyone else in the same shirt was most certainly cursing him out in other ways right now.

“all yours.” you practically whined, head falling back from the mere anticipation of him having his way with you tonight. “only yours.”

things had been different since silverstone. while it was still just sex between the pair of you, there was a sense of passion involved now. not to mention the unspoken loyalty.

alongside this it turned into spending a few hours in each other’s bed, to spending the night. then spending the night turned into having round two in the morning. but still ━ just sex. just more often.

and tensions momentarily settled for a little as well, easing your nerves when sneaking around with the appointed enemy.

but then, things boiled over again. monza.

you’d seen countless of crashes and collisions over the years, and while they always made your stomach drop ━ nothing compared to the feeling of seeing max’s tire quite literally run over the top of lewis.

it was a shock to the system, how sick you felt afterwards. even after seeing him get out of the car, you couldn’t shake the fear lingering inside you at the prospect of him being hurt in the slightest.

the team was worried about max. about the loss of points.

and you were stood there, in the redbull garage; only thinking about lewis. shaky hands, chest was tight; you felt like you were going to throw up.

having to resist the urge to go see him for yourself was incredibly hard, while all reports was that he was fine. you had the need to hear it and see it for yourself. for him to tell you he was okay.

then as the race finished up, the worry that he wouldn’t want to see you settled in as well. an emotional mess you were that day, confused by how much it had rattled you.

“hey, how are you?” the words fell from your lips quickly the moment lewis opened his hotel door. a tradition, you being here sunday evenings or nights after a race, no matter the result or outcome.

“i’m good now,” he sheepishly chuckled, wasting no time in grabbing ahold of your waist ━ moving you inside and straight into his chest, lips kissing yours without another thought.

after what you could call a shit day at work, there was nothing lewis wanted more than your kisses and comfort. he couldn’t be more grateful for the distraction you so easily provided him, he got lost in you so easily.

you hummed out in surprise at the sudden kiss, hands moving to cup his cheeks lightly. your mind still racing as it had been since the crash, but not one to ever deny his touch - you couldn’t pull away.

“you’re sure your fine?” you managed to speak into the kiss, some words coming out mumbled as he eagerly made out with you, hands having a tight grip on your waist.

“mhm,” he dismissed, hands travelling to your ass where he gave a tight squeeze, drawing out a moan of appreciation from you. it was hard to think straight with his hands all over you, so like usual for a few moments you were consumed in him.

but it seemed your worry for him was topping all today, because after a couple more minutes of making out, you felt the need to check in again.

“you’d tell me if you were hurt yeah?” you couldn’t stop the question as he started kissing down your neck, before he slowly pulled away; eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he looked down at you.

“yeah,” he nodded quietly, eyes studying you for a moment. “are you okay?” he asked with a raised brow, reversing the roles as his hand came up to cup your cheek gently; the pair of you catching your breath.

it was your turn to look confused. “yeah?” you answered, however it sounded more like a question; why would he need to check if you were okay? you weren’t the one who had a car on top of them earlier today.

“you seem stressed.” he pointed out, tone hinting that he didn’t believe you; his hand caressing your cheek lightly, watching as you pursed your lips, unsure on how to reply considering he was right.

you’d been stressed all day. shame to know it was so obvious.

“yeah, well i was worried about you,” you shrugged; voice timid and almost ashamed. saying it out loud had you worried you were overstepping, but the soft and reassuring smile lewis sent you was quick to shut down those fears.

“i’m fine love,” he spoke in reassurance, eyes pouring into yours as he tried to reassure you this time. “might wake up sore tomorrow. but i’m fine. i promise.” he added with a light hearted laugh, and you couldn’t help but lean your cheek into his hold lightly. which he happily embraced.

he wasn’t scared by you showing you cared, instead he felt joyed to know you cared. something he didn’t know he needed reassurance about but the small smile was refusing to leave his lips, admiring you shamelessly as you stressed over him.

“i know, sorry, i just…” you trailed off, biting down on your bottom lip; ready to ramble about how stressed you had been, stopping yourself however after realising the last thing he probably needed was you recounting todays events.

“y/n.” lewis spoke softly, gaining your full attention as his free hand came up to join his other in cupping both your cheeks, forcing your eyes up and on him. “i’m okay.” he smiled, and he didn’t miss the breath of relief that had left your lips as you nodded, although he wasn’t fully sold. “how about we just watch a movie or something tonight?” he suggested, catching you off guard.

how was it he knew what you needed when you yourself didn’t know?

you nodded however, fond of the idea as much as it scared you. “yeah…” you spoke out in thought. “that’d be good,” you couldn’t help the slight smile; which caused his soft one to turn into a grin.

“come on then,” he mumbled, pressing a short kiss to your forehead before dragging you to the couch.

after monza the pair of you were closer than ever, more than friends with benefits; and it would be hard for you to deny the feelings you had quite clearly grown.

but it was an unspoken rule that feelings would never be mentioned; there was no room for them between the pair of you, despite you and him both feeling the same way.

you had become a priority of his every week, no matter the circumstance he found time for you; no matter how busy or difficult it was. waking up with you in his arms afterwards was a highlight, almost better than being inside you the night before.

he found himself looking at the photos of you on his phone more and more every time there was one or two weeks off, and while usually he’d admire the explicit ones - you on your knees in front of him, or on top of him; his favourite had become the one of you dressed in only his mercedes’ polo, his mercedes’ cap loosely placed on your head as you flipped him off, slightly tangled hair and hickeys peaking through on your skin.

he remembered taking the photo clearly, a false reality he got to live in for a few moments of you repping his name and number proudly.

“that’s a sight i could get used to.” lewis smirked from where he sat on his bed leant on the headboard - chest bare and torso covered by the sheets, having gotten back into bed after grabbing a drink while you went to the bathroom.

you had picked up the mercedes’ polo, the one you had taken off of him when you first got here, off the floor and put it on while giggling to yourself before going to the bathroom. finding yourself more than amusing.

“enjoy it while it lasts sir, it ain’t happening again.” you teased with a grin ━ playfully posing in the shirt that fell down to your mid thigh, covering a few of the marks he had left there with both his mouth and fingertips.

“what do you mean? you’re my biggest fan.” he scoffed, shamelessly admiring you in his shirt, the smile on his face wide and showing no signs of leaving. you looked perfect, sex hair and tired eyes included. it was the first time lewis was actually scared of his own feelings, because he was ready to risk anything for you in the moment.

“more of a valtteri girl.” you smirked, watching as a louder laugh left his lips while you swiftly sauntered over to a few of his belongings on a lounge chair in the bedroom, grabbing his hat and placing it on top of your head, turning back to face lewis expectantly.

“well that’s got 44 on it.” lewis pointed out in a matter of fact tone, having grabbed ahold of his phone in the meantime, not hesitating to snap photos of you in your current outfit.

you laughed, raising your middle finger to him quickly; not that it stopped him, causing you to giggle further as you approached him, getting on the bed and crawling towards him, hand grabbing his phone and pushing it down.

“those cannot go anywhere,” you pointed out the obvious; an attempt to sound threatening but the fact you were beaming down at him did little to intimidate.

“i don’t know, these are too good to not share.” he joked, tossing his phone aside as his hands found your waist, pulling you on-top of him as your lips met in a sweet kiss, the sounds of both your laughter and lips moving against each other intertwining.

everything was perfect. almost. when the pair of you were alone it was perfect. like teenagers in love, you cringed at how happy he made you. how you could be so dependant on someone who wasn’t even yours, you didn’t know what to label him. but it didn’t matter, as long as you had him.

but good things never last. especially when they were destined to fail.

abu dhabi. it all came crumbling down, and you had never felt such conflicting emotions. people you had grown up with, admired and loved for years ━ seeing them so happy and their hard work pay off was incredible.

but your heart broke for lewis, not that you could show it. you wanted nothing more than to ditch the celebrations and embrace him, than to be there for him. to just offer your support.

that wasn’t an option, not in person at least. you had texted him of course; a few hours after the race. and you weren’t phased when he didn’t reply that night. it was clear your usual sunday tradition would be missed. you knew that the moment the chequered flag came out.

but then a couple days later, still no response. the amount of times you checked your phone was embarrassing, growing desperate to see his name pop up on your phone.

you convinced yourself it was fine when it became clear he wasn’t active on his phone at all, according to those around you and his lack of activity on social media; you were not the only one he was ghosting.

so you could relax for a bit, stop yourself from fearing the worst and overthinking that he would now want nothing to do with you.

but then he started posting on instagram again, all the while your message remained ignored. scared to text again and come across desperate yet you were holding onto hope that your message had in fact been lost in the sea of supportive texts he was sure to have to got over the winter.

so you caved, texting him again ━ casually asking him how he was and that you missed him, all in a friendly tone. and while you were hurt the first time you got ignored, when this message got no response it felt as if your heart had been ripped out of your chest.

you couldn’t blame him in some ways, you understood why he’d want space from you considering your last name and the team you so publicly represent.

but to not be worth a reply? it felt as if you had just been dumped. and while you usually are ecstatic for the season to begin, the start of the 2022 season couldn’t come around quicker.

you were dreading it, nerves and anxiety disturbing your sleep the days leading up to the first day in bahrain. was he going to ignore you in person? was it ridiculous that a part of you was still hopeful this had all been a miscommunication and things would go back to the way they were?

unfortunately, it was ridiculous. but you did not want to accept the fact that a year of something so good could vanish so simply and quickly.

“get a new number over the summer?” your words came out harsher than intended, having approached lewis to where he stood outside the media centre. quite the risky place to converse with him, but it was a thursday. it was early in the morning too. and the moment you saw him all sense of judgement was lost.

you couldn’t stop yourself from heading towards him, after being starved of him for so long and left in the dark you were overwhelmed with emotions. anger and fear seeming to top the list, finally here in bahrain all plans of yours were out the window.

“i’m sorry.” lewis sighed out, eyes darting around him to ensure no one you two should worry about was lurking, his eyes falling onto you. that was not the answer you were expecting, you were kind of hoping for a half-assed excuse at the least, something you could convince yourself to believe.

“if you needed space you could’ve told me.” you huffed, arms crossing over your chest, thinking on your feet with what to say. you had prepared quite a few lines but that wasn’t one of them.

“i didn’t know how to.” he shrugged, eyes only resting on yours for a few moments. your eyes had narrowed, you were hating how honest he was being. couldn’t he just deny it all? you’d much rather hear that he didn’t mean to block you out the past few months that hear him confirm he did want space. “this. whatever it was. can’t happen again.”

it felt as if the floor below you gave way when he spoke those words, your cold and annoyed facial expression being replaced with a confused and hurt one. “what?” was all that you could say, in hopes you hadn’t heard him right.

“we have to stop. it’s not… we can’t this year,” lewis sighed; biting down on the inside of his cheek. he had spent months building the courage to say this, and he was ready to back out the moment a frown graced your features. but it was for the better. he knew that.

you stared at him for a few moments, desperate for any signs of a joke or hesitance, but he kept his poker face on. which wasn’t hard considering the sunglasses framing his eyes.

“i’m confused,” you spoke with a dry laugh, a fake one; shaking your head as you tried to push back the creeping feeling of heartbreak, swallowing the lump in your throat that was threatening to form.

lewis’ eyes darted around once more, taking a deep breath to give himself the courage to do what he was about to.

he in no way wanted to break your heart, to break his own in the process. but he felt as if he had no options, he’d only be delaying the inevitable if he spent another year like last. the pair of you would never work.

he wanted nothing more than to fall into your arms at the end of last year, he craved your comfort and reassuring words. it killed him that the best way to deal with the unfair events of abu dhabi would’ve been you.

you who was celebrating in the redbull garage. and he didn’t blame you. he couldn’t. but he also couldn’t face you, he had put a wall up and unfortunately you had ended up on the opposite side. and he was convinced cutting ties with you was needed for him to focus this year.

abu dhabi had made him realise the pair of you were just simply not meant to be.

“look the sex was good; great even. but we’re kidding ourselves if we think it can be more. all we’ll be doing is eventually getting one of us in trouble.” his words hit you like a ton of bricks, the scoff of disbelief you let out not being missed by his ears, watching as you quickly shook your head at his words.

“it was more.” you were quick to correct, refusing to believe he thought it wasn’t. your eyes looking at him, practically pleading for him to go back on his words.

“it was fun,” lewis compromised, and his blunt tone almost hurt more than his actual words, shocked in how to reply, feeling as if you were talking to someone completely different than the guy you had quite easily fallen for, unsure how he could so easily label you as nothing but fun. “but it needs to stop. i cant be distracted this year.”

“then i’ll keep my distance saturday’s and sundays,” you were quick to reply; desperation laced in your words no matter how hard you tried to hide it. you refused to believe this was what he wanted.

“y/n.” lewis huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. he knew you would make it difficult, when this was already one of the hardest things he had to do ━ but he had hoped you would’ve just listened and left without protest. he knew better though. “this was never going to workout. your dad. your age. my job. don’t tell me you thought otherwise?” he asked in a sigh, and the sympathy he held had your sadness quite quickly turning into anger.

“my age?” you laughed, shaking your head. “none of this was an issue last year lewis so stop making excuses and don’t talk to me like you know better than i do.” you snapped, ignoring the tears that were welling in your eyes.

“i’m not making excuses y/n, this is how it is.” he was quick to snap back, voice hushed as he did so; and you didn’t stop yet another dry laugh from leaving your lips.

“you couldn’t have fucking told me this a few months ago?” you deflected, annoyance and anger clear in your tone, maybe if you focused on the fact you’d spent the past few months worried about him and hopeful you could be angry instead of devastated, although the voice crack was doing little to disguise your sadness.

“i owed it to you to do it in person.” lewis spoke in reply, voice lacking any emotion. despite the fact his heart was breaking every moment this conversation went on. your teary eyes, the pain in your voice. he hated himself in this very moment.

“oh wow, how considerate of you.” you scoffed; shaking your head as you slowly came to the realisation it was in fact over, for reasons you couldn’t understand nor accept, and that’s when the first tear fell. you were quick to wipe it but he still saw.

“i’m sorr━” he had begun to apologise, sincerely too but you were quick to raise your hand to get him to stop speaking, head turned away from him as if that would hide the tears and hurt on your face.

“don’t.” you cut him off, wiping the second tear as soon as it fell, clearing your throat to avoid your voice cracking once more. “good luck this year.” was all you said before walking off, this was bad. crying in front of him and in the middle of the paddock? worse.

you had spent the whole week crying and it felt pathetic but unavoidable. all the while he seemed totally unfazed. but you could see through his bullshit.

he hadn’t given you a valid reason to end things, him telling you it was because of practically every excuse he could think of only annoying you. your age, his job, your last name, you’re a distraction? it was the easy way out.

which is why your sadness quite quickly became annoyance and the need to prove him wrong, and feel regret.

petty? maybe. but you weren’t letting him run away that easily, he didn’t get to quit on you the moment things got tough. not like that anyways.

so you traded your uniform in for skirts and sundresses, your flats had turned into small heels which got taller as the weekends went on; and you had also suddenly taken an interest in a couple of mechanics.

lewis knew what you were doing the moment he saw you the following week in saudi arabia, walking just a little too close to a colleague of yours, he could pick up on you flirting from a mile away.

he was expecting something, a slap in the face, glares, complete avoidance. not this though.

the next week in australia it was already unbearable. every day your dress or skirt got shorter, you got friendlier with the man you had picked out for the week, and not to mention your inviting eyes that seemed to catch his at the worst moments.

your small smirks and innocent bats of your lashes had him stuck with nothing but memories and his own hand, cursing himself as he tried to keep his focus. tried to refrain from searching for you every few moments.

whatever you were doing was working, and you both knew it. it only encouraged you further, desperate to make him crack. to make him eat his words.

and he wanted to. it was hard enough to say what he did. following through with it was the last thing he wanted, you seducing him was not making it any easier.

and that brought you to now, in imola.

he had resisted the temptation of you both thursday and friday, avoiding you like there was no tomorrow as he roamed the paddock. and it frustrated you how he managed to do so.

but it was now saturday, and this morning you had almost got him hook line and sinker.

he was entering the paddock, off an already frustrating start to the weekend from the previous nights qualifying ━ he should’ve known things could only get worse.

you were sat outside a hospitality suite, phone in hand; dressed in a lilac sundress, the black blazer you had matched with it hanging over the seat you were sat on.

it didn’t take much for your eyes to find him, noticing him immediately. and you couldn’t help but smirk when he caught your eyes, the eye contact pushing you into action. so innocently leaning down to your bag on the floor, the flimsy strap falling down your arm, all the while a great view of cleavage was on display.

an action only lewis would know was intentional, and he had to stop himself from grunting as he watched you. his jaw ticking as he snapped his head away from you, unsure what he’d do if he let his eyes linger any longer.

resisting you was proving to be even more difficult than he had assumed, and he already knew it was going to be hard. but it had been a month and he was going crazy.

the final straw was after the sprint, already in a bad mood despite trying to hide it, having to do interviews and not give away too much emotion, the last thing he needed was to lock eyes with you from where you stood outside the media pen.

no matter where he looked or what he did, his eyes kept falling on you. and every time you were staring right back at him, with that look in your eyes.

shamelessly checking him out, arms strategically crossed across your chest - biting down on your bottom lip. he couldn’t take it anymore, not when everything else around him was going to shit.

you had hoped from the way he had been looking at you that your months work would finally cause a breakthrough. and it did, he was first to leave the press pen and he did a beeline straight to you, in no way worried about those around the pair of you.

his large hand grabbing ahold of your wrist and dragging you down the side towards the back of the motor homes.

“what the fuck lewis,” you spoke out as you tried to keep up with his pace, desperately looking around to see if anyone was near. “someone could see,” you practically hissed.

“you wanted this.” was all he said, quite happily calling you out for pretending to be shocked as he lead you towards his drivers room, the back entrance of the motor home proving handy.

it felt awfully similar to your first time together, causing your stomach to drop as you rushed through the mercedes’ building, the pair of you both lucky no one saw.

“you need to stop.” he grumbled the moment he had locked the door behind him, turning to face you. you were flattening your dress out, pushing your hair out of your face after having to rush behind him.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you lied, and despite not being used to him speaking to you in an annoyed tone, you didn’t let it bother you, holding your ground.

“yes you do. don’t play with me right now y/n, i swear to god.” he breathed, finally able to express the built up frustrations since bahrain, his hands running through his hair.

“look i get you’ve had a tough━” you started to speak, fake sympathy oozing off every word as you stared up at him. but he was quick to cut you off.

“don’t.” he interrupted as he held a finger up to you. “don’t even try it. you need to stop. stop the looks and the smirks. stop trying to make me jealous, stop with these fucking dresses and skirts. i know what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work,” he ranted out, approaching you as he did so.

it should’ve intimidated you, but you kept your head held high and his rambling only had you smirking, happily allowing him to come closer.

“i think it is,” you hummed simply, and you could practically see the steam come from his ears as he stared down at you, having no shame in confirming what you both already knew. that you had been doing it all on purpose.

“it needs to stop.” he repeated, almost reminding himself not you of what he wanted. because the way you were looking at him right now, not to mention your seduction over the past few races, it had him more than eager to forget everything he said and kiss you.

“you’re cruel.” you hummed out, poking his chest as you stared up at him, opting for ignoring his words. he had gotten everything off his chest that he wanted, why couldn’t you do the same?

he let out a breathless laugh at your words, as if you hadn’t been the one cruelly teasing him all these weeks.

“how so?” he hummed in fake interest, raising his eyebrows as he looked down at you in expectance. oh how much he wanted to touch you. even just graze his fingers over your soft lips.

“leaving me, to my own fingers and mediocre men all because…” you spoke slowly, finger poking his chest again in between words. “you’re a coward.” you spoke clearly.

if anyone else were to call him a coward he would’ve been quick to defend himself, but because it was you he let it slide, shaking his head however. attempting to distract himself from the image in his head now of you pleasing yourself. and the image of you with other men.

“you’re afraid. and don’t even have the balls to give me a real reason to end things,” you practically spat, eyes almost glaring at him.

“i gave you plenty of reasons.” lewis replied smartly, venomous in tone and matching yours; arguing with you seemed best for now, because the only other option was taking you against the wall.

“yeah, and they were all full of shit and you know it. you took the easy way out.” you called him out, and at this point if you wanted to create distance between the pair of you it was too late, your back against the wall. a position you find yourself in too often with him.

he had no response for your words; because you were right. “you can go now. i’ve said what i needed to.” lewis practically dismissed you, yet didn’t make any moves to step away. probably because he was in two minds.

you shook your head with a chuckle, questioning why you hadn’t expected this. you call him out and he tells you to leave. of course.

“you’re a coward.” you repeated with a scoff, before pushing past him ━ heading towards the door to leave, going to unlock it before you were suddenly pulled back.

you hadn’t heard the approaching footsteps but lewis most certainly had, his quick reaction time thankfully allowing him to pull you away from the door.

“lewis?” a voice called out, causing your eyes to widen as lewis’ hand covered your mouth quickly. only then did you realise the position you were in, having been pulled back into him, his chest was flush against your back, arm wrapped around your waist.

“what do you need?” lewis huffed out, holding you tight in his grip to stop you from making any noise. his breath got stuck in his throat when you not so subtlety pushed your hips back against him.

“debrief in ten yeah?” the voice on the other side of the door reminded, and you started to try break free from half of his grasp; specifically the hand over your mouth. you could keep yourself quiet.

but after your little stunt of rolling your hips he was in no mood to comply, keeping you in place; and keeping his hand over your mouth. which proved helpful when he then pushed his hips against your ass as a petty way of payback, a muffled sound escaping your lips, ending your efforts to remove his hand.

“no.” lewis was quick to reject. “don’t think i can talk about the car anymore today. fill me in tomorrow morning.” lewis spoke, acting out of character. but he had decided he had a more pressing issue than the team; that was you.

why continue to suffer and starve himself of the one thing that could actually somewhat lighten his mood?

“but━”

“i’m not coming.” lewis huffed, voice showing he was in no mood to try be convinced, and you let out a breath of relief when whoever was on the other side of the door complied and walked off, meaning you could quickly wiggle out of his grasp.

“you did not need━” you started to lecture him as you turned around to face him, it being clear you were flustered from the contact due to the heat on your cheeks. but lewis seemed to be on a roll with interrupting people, shutting you up as he kissed you; hands finding your hips as he backed you up, your back hitting the wall with a thud.

you had gasped into his mouth but kissed him back hungrily, if the kiss was not so rough and passionate you would’ve melted into it, having missed the feeling of this more than you could explain. his hands on you, lips on yours; you were practically craving it.

lewis’ large hands were roaming your sides, pawing at you and whatever he could touch due to being starved of you for long, his own fault of course. he lost focus on what he needed to do the moment your body was against his, and now that he had you in his arms again he was questioning how he’d gone so long with out.

“thought you wanted me to stop?” you breathed out, lips managing to escape his for a few moments; giving both of you a moment to come to terms with what was about to happen. you needed some sort of confirmation he wanted this, because you weren’t sure you could handle him rejecting you again.

“you can still leave if you want to.” he offered, his eyes struggling to stay on yours, instead admiring your pink lips that he wanted, no needed, back on his; the squeeze he gave your waist being enough to tell you he wanted you to stay.

so you said nothing more, rejoining your lips with his as your arms wrapped around his neck in an attempt to bring him closer, not that he could get much closer.

his hands found your thighs and you didn’t miss a beat as he hoisted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he held you against the wall, lips travelling down your jaw and towards your neck ━ seeking out the spots he knew you were most sensitive, knowing your body like the back of his palm.

“lewis,” you murmured out in appreciation, head falling back as goosebumps formed on your skin from his touch, feeling him only hum against your skin in reply.

you were growing needy for his touch, and it had him smug. considering he’d been the one teased ruthlessly the past month, he was more than happy to get you worked up now. when you began to squirm in his arms and attempt to squeeze your legs around him he knew you were growing desperate, which never took long when the pair of you were together.

you thought you’d have to say something to stop lewis from marking your neck and chest but he read you perfectly, swiftly moving you to the couch, placing you down not so gently before crouching down between your legs, hands holding onto your knees and spreading your legs apart; exposing your white lacy panties.

lewis held no shame as his eyes raked over you in the compromising position, it was taking a lot of self control to not tear the dress of off you and fuck you over the couch right now. but he could be patient.

“what did you say about your fingers love?” lewis asked you in fake sincerity, and you had to stop the whine that threatened to escape your throat, you knew where this was going.

“you wanna hear about the other men too?” you sassed back, looking down at him; having to bite your bottom lip. you needed him, badly. you knew that before he kissed you. but now, him having your leg spreads and just looking up at you, you were practically desperate.

his eyes had visibly darkened at the second mention of you and other guys. he didn’t believe you for a second, but he’d allow you to play that game ━ you’d be eating your words in a moment and you both knew it.

“only about how they can’t make you feel good like i can,” lewis replied through gritted teeth, failing to come across unfazed before he gave your knee a small tap. “want you to show me how you got yourself off without me pretty girl,” he told you, not caring about the disappointment that crossed your face.

“lewis,” you didn’t stop your whine this time, hopeful your pout would help sway him, wanting nothing more than him to touch you. your legs were attempting to push back together but be kept them spread.

“not touching you until you do.” he told you in warning, raising an eyebrow as a sigh left your lips. your cheeks were red, struggling to handle him and his words, especially after months apart.

you conceded however, knowing he would stay true to his word. so with a shaky breath you traced a finger down your body, reaching the hem of your dress and moving under it, pushing it up your body before finally reaching your clothed cunt.

a whimper escaped your lips when your finger brushed over your clit, your eyes settling on the ceiling above you as you teased yourself lightly, trying to mimic the way he did. you’ve been trying all winter but nothing would compare.

“eyes on me.” he told you, hand moving to your thigh where he gave a squeeze as you reluctantly looked at him, arousal topping your shame. the sooner he touched you the better.

he was staring at you intently as you slid the lace aside, biting down on your bottom lip harshly to suppress your moans as you started playing with your clit. lewis’ smirk grew when he saw wet you were, your panties practically soaked.

“all for me?” he asked you in fake curiosity, deciding to help you out; not in the way you wanted him to though, his large hands crawling up your thighs to grab ahold of your underwear and get them out of your way, tugging them down your legs.

your body reacted more to the feeling of his fingertips on your inner thighs than it did to your own on your clit, another whimper escaping your lips as you nodded in response.

“yeah.” you confirmed in a hushed tone, a shaky breath following you as you tried to keep still. “please lewis,” you sighed out in frustration; hips bucking up, hoping maybe he would be as impatient as you and not bother with whatever he had planned.

he simply chuckled, sending a shiver up your spine as you watched him shake his hand ━ instead only squeezing your thigh again, doing nothing to satisfy you.

“forgot how needy you get,” lewis commented; it was an innocent lie, he could never forget how easy he could have you begging and pleading for him, considering he always struggled when you gave him pleading eyes and asked him so nicely to touch you. he never lasted long in making you suffer.

a small moan slipped from your lips as you began to speed your fingers up, realising your efforts were to no success; your other hand moving to cover your mouth.

lewis had no issues in staying silent as he watched you, giving you his full attention. his grip had tightened around your legs, the sounds you were making had him working harder to stop himself from touching more of you.

“they don’t compare to yours,” you spoke in a whisper as you slid a finger inside yourself, not able to suppress the gasp. it failed to please you as you wished however, because you could only think about him. how good he could be making you feel. “please lew, need you to touch me,” you whined, hearing him grunt in response.

you hated how you were so desperate for him, how the plan was to get him worked up; which did work, but yet somehow you were the one here begging.

“oh fuck,” you moaned in surprise when his hand suddenly grabbed yours and tugged it away, replacing your fingers with his own, and you had to cover your mouth again ━ afraid you were already being too loud.

“always gotta get what you want hm?” lewis spoke out in frustration as his 2 fingers quite quickly slid inside you with ease, his thumb settling on your clit naturally. frustrated you could persuade him so easily.

“i only want you,” you spoke in defence with a huff; your free hand gripping the cushion of the couch beside you, your head falling back at the increased pace and pleasure from his touch, jaw struggling to shut.

lewis spread your legs further, settling between them as he kneeled on the floor; determined to get you off like usual. he enjoyed pleasing you, he was painfully hard already from doing so. he’d rather watch you cum 5 times than cum himself.

“gotta keep quiet for me love.” lewis grumbled at you when your muffled moans started growing in volume, causing you to shake slightly beneath him. however he only then started curling his fingers, not making it any easier for you.

he didn’t let up, his fingers moving expertly inside you; practically on autopilot when it came to fingering you, body knowing yours better than anything. he pressed a few kisses to your inner thighs, kissing over the forming bruises from his tight grip.

“m’ gonna cum,” you whimpered as you looked down at him, clenching around his fingers as your back arched off the couch ever so slightly; surprised you weren’t drawing blood from your bottom lip.

“go on baby,” his whisper was the final straw; cumming all over his fingers ━ eyes rolling back as you did so. god how he missed that sight.

he let you ride out your high, smirking to himself every time a slightly louder gasp or moan slipped past your lips, before his fingers slid out. he didn’t hesitate to lick them clean, causing a tired smile to form on your lips, mind going crazy over the image of him.

“someone definitely heard me,” you huffed, attempting to tug the strap of your sundress back up your shoulder, but his hand stopped you as he stood up to his feet, taking a seat next to you and tugging you onto his lap quickly.

“good.” lewis had smirked, earning an eye roll from you, happily getting settled on his lap as your hands rested on his toned chest, taking the opportunity to admire him up close for the first time in a while.

“don’t tell me they won’t question hearing a girl back here.” you asked playfully with fake scepticism, raising an eyebrow as he quickly chuckled and shook his head; his hands moving up in defence.

“don’t worry, you’re the only one i’ve had back here.” he matched your playful tone, causing you to let out a fake sigh of relief, not able to mask the wide smile on your face. it was scary how quick you could fall back into old habits with him, how quickly you could forget of the few months of pain.

“don’t you know how to make a girl feel special,” you hummed, fingers moving to fiddle with the collar of his mercedes polo, giggling at your own words, which had him letting out a small chuckle.

he too was aware at how quickly, even after months of tension, you could cheer him up. after all this time ━ you were still the one to lighten his mood.

“so you’ve said,” he spoke in playful agreement before his hand moved to the back of your neck; bringing your head forwards to engage your lips is another kiss, his other hand moving to rest on your hip.

you gripped his shirt in your hands; the kiss slightly softer than the one before, yet still as eager as the pair of you attempted to make up for lost time. his hand trailed to the small of your back, pushing you closer towards him as you hummed against his lips.

“you drive me fucking crazy,” you just made out lewis’ words as your lips moved in sync, letting out a small moan in reply as his hand travelled to your ass where he gave the flesh a small squeeze.

your hips moved against his lightly, feeling his hard on with ease; wanting to be as close to him as possible; your arms around his neck once more. you couldn’t help but repeat the action, dragging your hips against his again tantalising slow.

“fuck i need you,” lewis broke the kiss, speaking breathlessly as a small grin played on your lips at his inability to take things slow. good to know you aren’t the only needy one.

you didn’t say anything as your hands reached down, playing with his belt momentarily; taking way too long to free his cock, instead moving to push his t shirt up after undoing the belt buckle.

he let out a sigh in frustration, but helped you in getting his shirt off regardless. you spent a few moments admiring the tattoos that painted his skin, hands trailing down his abdomen slowly and towards his belt once more.

you once again were incredibly slow in undoing the zipper to his pants. “y/n,” lewis huffed, tone threatening; which had you glancing up at him through innocent eyes, stilling your movements.

“yes?” you hummed, your hand ‘slipping’ to palm him through his jeans for a moment, watching as he struggled to stay silent from your sudden action.

“hurry the fuck up,” he told you, his hard on almost painful at this point and begging to be freed. you giggled at his words, but didn’t take them on board. doing the exact opposite as you returned to your slow pace.

he wasn’t laughing however, his large hand moving to grasp your neck and force your head back up and towards him, causing your lips to part as a gasp escaped them.

“do i need to remind you what happens when you try be a tease?” lewis asked you in question, his hands applying the perfect amount of pressure to the side of your throat, causing you to squirm in his lap.

“depends,” you replied; voice not holding the strength you would’ve hoped due to the slightly blocked airway, but lewis could see you were challenging him, raising his eyebrow as if he was daring you to go on.

but in your opinion he was practically begging you to, with his hand around your throat and him looking at you with such an intense stare; how could you possibly resist pissing him off?

“i think you’re━” you had began to speak, but having lost sight of his other hand you were interrupted by the harsh slap it laid on your ass suddenly, causing you to moan as your body tried to jolt forward, lewis holding you in place.

“go on,” lewis smirked; causing your eyes to narrow in a small glare, parting your lips to finish your sentence but lewis had read you perfectly again, a sharper slap on the same spot causing you to moan instead of speak, his smug smirk growing.

“you’re being a hypocrite,” you spoke out quickly, and as you realised he was getting the upper hand again you rolled your hips once more. “you should have some patience considering you just made me finger myself in front of you,”

“i lost my patience when you almost flashed yourself to me this morning.” lewis had replied through gritted teeth, and you couldn’t help but light up at the mention, a move you were somewhat proud of. “now hurry up or i’ll fuck your pretty mouth instead.”

little did he know that sounded quite tempting. so when he finally released his grip on you, your hands went back to their slow pace as you looked up at him with a knowing smile.

“don’t fuck you for a few months and you turn into a brat.” lewis snapped, his hands finding your hips and moving you off his lap in a moment of seconds; and you were quick to recover as you moved on your knees between his legs on the ground.

“you love it.” you spoke simply in defence with a shrug, watching as he freed himself and used his own hand to jack himself off a couple of times, almost drooling at the sight.

“stick your tongue out.” he muttered, ignoring your words because he couldn’t deny them. for once you listened, watching as he leant forward and tangled a hand in your hair, tilting your face up and towards him, tapping the tip of his dick on your tongue a couple of times, giving you a taste of the pre-cum you so desperately wanted to lick up. but you knew better.

a sense of dread came over you that he may make you suffer once more, so you quickly moved a hand to push at the straps of your dress, allowing them to slide down your arms; your boobs pouring out of the dress.

lewis groaned at the sight alone, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach, he had a photo of you in quite the similar position from months ago, which he had been relying on a bit too heavily the past few weeks; but nothing compared to the real thing.

“you’re gonna be the death of me,” he spoke out in frustration, and if it wasn’t for the tip of his dîck still tapping against your tongue you’d be grinning. no matter the circumstance he’d always find a way to flatter you.

he finally put the pair of you out of your misery, guiding your head down his length as his head fell back, and the moan he let out sounded like music to your ears.

you were certain to keep your eyes up and on him, practically hypnotised by the sight of him from this angle as you swirled your tongue around him, feeling his grip loosen on your hair slightly you were more than happy to start bobbing your head.

so eager to please him, wanting nothing more than to make him feel good; repay the favour of course, hand holding onto his thigh to support yourself as you sucked him off.

“mouth was made for me darling,” lewis praised through a deep breath, and he was beginning to question how long he was going to last, feeling as if he could cum in your mouth right now if he really wanted to.

his words only encouraged you, taking more of him in as his tip hit the back of your throat; ignoring the fact you gagged around him, saliva building at the corners of your mouth but you paid it no mind.

“fuck ━ just like that,” he practically whispered, almost forgetting he needed to stay quiet as he pushed your head down a little further, causing you to gag once more. “gonna fuck your face now, you want that baby?” he asked as his grip tightened in your hair once more, eyes looking down at you.

the pet names were coming naturally to him, and it still wasn’t failing to make your heart flutter as you managed to somewhat nod, even with his cock down your throat, causing a pleased smile to form on his lips.

“there’s my good girl,” he spoke, accent thick as ever and you couldn’t help but moan around him from the praise; causing his smile to grow, before he began to guide your head up and down.

you let him do as he pleased, his pace gradually increasing as the head of his dick started to hit the back of your throat repetitively. you were loving every minute of it though despite your watering eyes, the muffled grunts and suppressed moans leaving the mercedes driver above you making it worth it.

your grip had tightened on his leg, definitely leaving indents in his skin from your nails but he couldn’t care less, not when your throat was taking him so well.

“fuck, not gonna last like this ━ need to fuck you,” lewis couldn’t take it anymore, pulling you off his dick without a second thought. while that felt incredible he couldn’t shake the need to be inside you, and considering you could feel your wetness on your thighs, you wouldn’t waste anytime now.

“you’re so hot,” you couldn’t help but breathlessly admit as you climbed back into his lap, his small chuckle from your words causing you to nudge his chest slightly, his hands finding your waist as he guided you above him. “oh fuck.” you whined as he slowly lowered you down, your head falling back.

he let you set the pace, well aware it had been a while and you would need time to readjust to his size, your small hands gripping on tightly to his large shoulders as the pain slowly twisted into pleasure.

“always take me so well,” his words had your head lifting so you could put your attention back on him, biting down harshly on your bottom lip as you slowly began to move up and down, whimpering slightly. you had no idea how you were meant to stay quiet.

he picked up on this however, kissing you to shut you up, and it worked; the passionate kiss not being sacrificed as you began to ride him, rocking your hips perfectly as you moaned into each other’s mouths.

your hands tangled in his hair, while his were moving every few moments ━ still getting lost in the mere feeling of touching you as you fucked your self on his dick.

“oh my god,” you spoke through a whimper as you broke the kiss to catch your breath, still bouncing up and down with your lips hovering over his, eyes pouring into his brown ones.

you were taking your time however, nothing too fast pace. it wasn’t slow, but it was more than just fucking and it was obvious. you didn’t want to label it making love, but it was definitely the closest thing to it.

he knew it too, the passion undeniable and he felt every centimetre of your skin that he could, taking in every movement of your body and admiring the way your face contorted with pleasure.

“i missed you,” you whispered as you rode him, his hand having moved to cup your cheek as he let out a small grunt. you couldn’t stop your confession, not when you were this close to him. lost in him.

“m’ not going anywhere,” he mumbled; his soft caress of your cheek still being noticed despite your whole body focusing on the way he was hitting your g-spot every time you sunk back down onto him. “i’m yours,” he admitted, his breath fanning your face.

you couldn’t help the small smile forming on your lips, before bringing him in for yet another kiss ━ it was so painfully obvious the pair of you couldn’t get enough of each other.

you began to struggle when his free hand snaked between the pair of you, finding your clit and causing your movements to become irregular, moaning into his mouth once more as he started to thrust up into you as well.

“lewis,” you whined as you struggled to kiss back, your second orgasm approaching fast; his thrusts only seeming to go deeper inside of you, which had your eyes rolling back, clenching around him.

you moved your head to the crook of his neck before you came, moaning against his skin which helped drain out the sound, your nails scratching at his back lightly.

he came inside of you at almost the exact same moment; not doing as well as you to mask his groans, his head falling back as he twitched inside you.

both your heavy breaths filled the room, a comfortable silence settling between the pair of you. your fingers were delicately tracing his back however, and his fingers had come up to run through your hair lightly, your head resting on his shoulder.

“haven’t fallen asleep on me have you?” his low voice broke the silence had you letting out a small laugh, shaking your head as you finally looked up at him.

“no,” you defended ━ although your heavy eyelids exposed that it was a possibility if you had stayed where you were much longer.

he was smiling down at you, fingers still playing with your hair aimlessly, admiring every feature of your face. your swollen lips, flushed cheeks; not to mention the purple marks appearing on your neck.

“i’m sorry,” you spoke suddenly, pursing your lips; it being your turn to cup his cheek lightly, more so wanting to touch him as your small fingers grazed his cheek.

his eyebrows had furrowed in confusion, smile faltering for a moment. “you have nothing to be sorry about,” he shook his head, confusion still present on his face as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“i haven’t exactly made your life any easier the past month,” you mumbled sheepishly; well aware he had been struggling. you had moments where you almost caved and wanted to offer him sympathy instead of your little revenge scheme.

he let out a hum of disapproval at your words, shaking his head quickly as his hand untangled from your hair, moving to grasp your chin lightly, making you look up at him.

“i’m the one who made both our lives a living hell the past month,” lewis corrected in certainty, a flash of regret crossing his features. the image of you crying in front of him was one he’d never forget nor forgive himself for. “i’m not making that mistake again.” he promised.

your eyes had softened at his words, shaking your head, although it was exactly what you wanted to hear, you didn’t like the amount of guilt you were hearing in his tone. “lewis…” you trailed off, but he was quick to shake his head.

“i was a coward. and was taking the easy way out,” he cut you off, letting out a sigh before he fell silent for a few moments. he looked as if he was thinking and you were going to rush him. “i tend to be like that when it comes to love,” his voice was hushed, and your eyes widened ever so slightly at his choice of words.

“love?” you repeated, in confirmation ━ wanting to make sure you heard right. and while the words felt so dangerous when coming out of his mouth, hearing it from yours only had him grinning, full of confidence as he nodded, watching as your face lit up.

nothing more needed to be said, your smiles mirroring each other’s like love sick fools as your lips met again in a soft kiss, no room for lust as you let your bodies do the talking, enjoying the few moments you could where everything was perfect, the worries of what this meant for the future far from both your minds.

━━

a/n: okay so the somewhat fluffy smut was new for me but i think i liked it? felt a bit repetitive tho. also hoped the flashback layout worked ahHh let me know and tysm for all the support <333 also half of if it is unedited rn so don’t mind that ty lol

[bellesowl]

kiss and make up

- multiple characters 

⤷ atsumu, sakusa

genre: (an attempt at) angst to fluff ; established relationship, timeskip 

synopsis: in which you have an almost relationship-ending argument

word count: 2.1k total - about 1k each

warnings: fighting (obv), being called a burden, the boys are kinda mean but they make up for it i swear

- a/n: tbh i was kinda getting sick of writing just fluff so i wanted to spice it up a lil! if this sucks i’m probably going to stick to fluff fics but i think it should be fine? this one also only has 2 characs cause idk how i would be at writing angst LMAO if this does well enough i’ll post the one i have written w kuroo and iwa <3 but i feel like this kinda sucks so oh well

- thank u @kybabi for beta-ing <3

- miya atsumu

you n atsumu have been together since high school which is why you’ve always been inseparable

you went to the same college & moved in together right after, but once he got his job with the jackals, he insisted that you didn’t work and focused on getting your master’s degree

you reluctantly agreed, if only to be able finish & earn your phd soon after

because atsumu is always busy, it’s kinda become commonplace for you to do the chores around the house- like doing the laundry or washing the dishes or cooking dinner for him

but it’s gotten to the point where he expects it

atsumu sighs, unlocking the door to your shared apartment. today’s practice was rough, it was a day of hard conditioning and bad sets and he wanted nothing more than a good meal and to cuddle. the first thing he noticed when he walked in was the mess. instant ramen bowls were scattered everywhere, empty coke cans and dirty napkins were all over the floor, and there you were, in the eye of the hurricane. the second thing he noticed was that there was no homecooked meal.

surprised, he walks into the dining room to see you, furiously typing away at your laptop with four different books surrounding you. you hear his footsteps and look up.

“hey baby! how was practice?” you ask with a smile

atsumu grunts in reply and gestures toward the kitchen, “so.. what’s for dinner babe?”

your eyes widen, “oh shoot! i’m sorry, i was so busy studying for this final that i forgot to cook. do you mind-“ you stop when you see him roll his eyes and head out.

“um, where are you going? you just got home?” you ask, following him.

“out. i have to get food somehow” he replies, “especially because my useless s/o can’t cook a goddamn meal for me” he mutters under his breath

you stop in shock because did he really just say that?

“i’m sorry, i don’t think i heard you right.” you start but he interrupts you

“i said, i have to go get food because someone is too busy to cook a goddamn meal. what do you even do anyways- well, besides spend my money? the least you can do is cook for me, god.” he finally turns to look at you but he feels his heart stop at the look on your face.

not wanting to escalate the situation any further, you try to calm him down, “tsum, hey, i’m sorry i forgot to cook okay? this is my last final before the year ends and i just can’t afford to fail it, so i’ve been studying all day. if you come back to the kitchen, i’ll make you something, okay?”

“i don’t want to eat your half assed attempt at a meal, y/n. the whole point is that you couldn’t get off your ass for an hour to cook when i make the money, i paid for the apartment, hell, i’m even paying for your school! is it really too much to ask for you to stop being such a burden and cook and clean everyday?” he fumed.

you gape at him, shocked that he would even say that. to hell with not escalating things

“at least i want to do something more with my life than hit balls around and retire at 35” you hiss, “and i do everything in this house! i do the laundry, i clean the bathroom, i cook - i do all the things you refuse to. and do i complain? no. i offered to get a job but you refused.”

you turn around to grab your laptop and your textbooks, “just- just do whatever the hell you want to, atsumu.” and with that you walk out the door.

atsumu’s heart drops when he realizes that you actually left. sure, you’ve had arguments here and there, but you’ve never left. he pulls out his phone to call you when he sees you’ve left yours on the counter. knowing there’s nothing to do but wait at this point, he begins to clean up and calls osamu over.

-

it’s already 3 am when you walk back into your apartment, and you blink multiple times when you open the door. it’s ... clean? you’re sure it was a mess when you left, so how would it be clean? you sigh, too tired to think about it more and walk into the kitchen. your eyes widen at the sight. not only is your favorite food on the stove, but there your boyfriend is, asleep on the dining table. you smile slightly, well that explains things.

“ ‘’mu, hey, wake up babe.” you kiss him lightly and shake him.

he grunts and sits up, “baby! i’m so so sorry for what i said. you are in no way, shape, or form a burden, i have no clue why i said that. today’s practice was just really tiring, but i know i shouldn’t have taken it out on you. just please-” he sighs, “just please don’t leave me again.”

your heart breaks your teary eyed boyfriend. “shh, of course baby. i’ll never leave you again okay?” you say, tugging on his arm, “cmon babe, let’s go to bed, okay?”

“mm okay my love.” he replies and practically pulls you into bed. “i love you, okay?”

“i love you too baby.” you reply

“to the moon and back?” he asks

“yeah, and to infinity and beyond.” you reply, your lack of sleep hitting you hard

“oh, i didn’t know i was dating buzz lightyear”

you let out a loud laugh and just like that you both fall into the same routine, love radiating off both of you in waves.

- sakusa kiyoomi

dating sakusa was,, challenging

it definitely took him a while to get comfortable with you

so you guys have been dating for a couple years now, and at this point he’s def clingy

however there still moments when he reverts to his old self

this just happened to be one of those times

“OUT! AND JUST LIKE THAT, EJP RAIJIN TAKES THE WIN AGAINST THE BLACK JACKALS!”

the stadium is silent before the ejp cheering section erupts in cheers. you stay silent, watching your team below. you watch as sakusa stills, still in disbelief. you make your way down, practically sprinting to your boyfriend.

he sees you on the sideline and makes his way over to you. you put on your biggest smile and attempt to make him feel better.

“you did great, kiyo! you’ll get them next time, yeah?” you beam, knowing how hard he’s been training to beat his cousin

he eyes you warily, not knowing what to say.

usually, sakusa gets pretty clingy after games, so you you move to give him a hug.

“don’t touch me” he barked, jerking away from you. “if you hadn’t been distracting me, we would’ve won.”

you stare at him, refusing to let the tears flow. you both turn when you hear a certain setter yelling at the opposing middle and you sigh.

“um, okay then. i’ll see you at home, yeah?” you ask

sakusa merely nods and makes his way over to his teammates. you look around to see if anyone saw what just happened and you lock eyes with your boyfriend’s cousin, who walks over.

“congrats on the win komori! you guys did so well!” you cheered

“thanks, y/n! and i’m sorry about kiyoomi. i’m sure you know he gets that way sometimes.” he explains

you smile and shake your head, saying that you’re used to it and you both bid your farewells. as you walk out of the stadium, you think back to how your boyfriend, the one person you loved with everything you had in you, utterly embarrassed you in front of his whole team. before you know it, silent tears start streaming down your face. 

you enter your home and immediately rush to the bathroom. you draw yourself a bath and make some dinner while waiting. you assume that kiyoomi wouldn’t be home to have dinner with you anyways- and now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time you had dinner together. after you finish your bath and eat your dinner, you decide to wait up for boyfriend and watch a couple episodes of your favorite show to pass the time. 

-

kiyoomi walks into his apartment at around 1 am, completely and utterly exhausted. he kicks his shoes off and drops his bag on the floor. The rustling rouses you from sleep and you sit up.

“hey kiyo” you say with a yawn, “where’ve you been all night?” 

sakusa ignores you in favor of getting ready for bed and you frown when he brushes past you. 

“kiyo, babe, what’s wrong? you’ve been ignoring me all night and i-” you start but he interrupts you before you can finish. 

“god, just shut up, y/n. can’t you tell i don’t want to talk to you right now? i’ve already had the worst day, i don’t need you making it any worse.” he snaps

"kiyoomi, look, i understand you’re upset but you shouldn’t take it out on me.” you reason, reaching out towards him, “listen, i’m here if you wanna-” 

“i said, do not touch me.” he seethes. “you are so fucking clingy y/n, lord, let me breathe a little.”

with those words, you explode. “you know what, sakusa,” he flinches when he hears his last name come out of your mouth, “i think i have the right to want to spend some time with my boyfriend! i haven’t seen you in god knows how long- you leave before i wake up and i fall asleep in an empty bed. i’ve been working my ass off to get some time off to watch your stupid volleyball game and what do you do? you embarrass me in front of your whole team!”

you sigh, wiping away the tears that continue that continue to fall. “listen, i don’t want to fight right now. i’m going to go stay at a friend’s house for the night, alright? i’ll see you tomorrow” you say, grabbing your purse. “if you’re even home tomorrow,” you add under your breath.

sakusa is in shock. the moment he saw your tears start to spill, he felt an undeniable and unrelenting ache in his chest that only seemed to grow with every work that came out of your mouth. and when the door shut? sakusa fell on his knees, his heart dropping. he truly couldn’t believe he said that to you. now all he had to do was wait till you got home.

-

2:38 pm - you check the time on your phone before pulling out your keys. you hope you made the right move, choosing to come back home while kiyoomi was still at practice. you open the door and the sight causes your eyes to widen.

there, on the couch with your favorite flowers in hand, is your boyfriend. he hears the door open and stands up abruptly.

“y/n, my love, i am so sorry. i truly cannot express how horrible i feel, and i cannot begin to understand how you feel.” he takes a deep breath, seemingly holding back tears. “i- i do love you. i love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. i know i’m not the best at expressing it, but you mean the world to me- no, you are my world. without you, i don’t know what i would do. so please-” his voice cracks, “just, please give me another chance?”

you run towards your boyfriend, practically tackling him. “kiyo, baby, of course. i love you too, you know? you just can’t do that anymore, yeah? you shouldn’t feel like you have the right to embarrass me just because you had a bad day. and please, don’t call me clingy? i know i do stick to you like glue sometimes, but that’s just because i never see you anymore.” you reply.

“that will all change, darling.” he answers sincerely, “i’ll make more time for you, i swear. in fact, i’ll take the week off, how does that sound?” at the sight of your smile, he relaxes.

“that sounds wonderful, yoomi.” you answer

sakusa feels the weight that’s been dragging him down lift and he realizes the effect you have on him- you’re his breath of fresh air. he also realizes how utterly idiotic it was to push away the one person who could make him feel better.

it’s fine, he reasons, he’ll just never make that mistake again. he swears it.

[writingtoforgetreality]

Professionally Unprofessional (Sam Wilson x Reader)

Request: Samuel wilson x reader, reader is an interviewer who is on the ground when wilson speak with the senator, they had a huge fight before but wilson is like grab her and kissed her and then like "fuck this shit, cmon lets get married gurl" (by anonymous), [Marvel-Masterlist]

Summary: You were everything but average. As a reporter, people expected you to be laid back, professional. You were all those things, you simply added a bit of spice into the mix to lend your interviews something special.

Words: 2,696

Warnings: language, humor, sarcasm, fluff (?), arguments, female pronouns used, REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

[Thanks @shmaptainhotchner for helping me out with this one! <3]

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

You were part of a local news station, usually the one doing interviews & all of that sorts. The viewers liked you so much because you did not ask typical, boring questions. Whenever you had someone in front of your microphone, you went out of you way to create something special that entertained the people. Much to your boss’ dismay. But then again, she would never fire you because your views would drastically sink if she did so.

Thanks to your job, you had interviewed most of the Avengers throughout the years. That was how you met Sam in the first place. You somehow made yourself appear mysterious enough for him wanting to get to know you better. Mainly because of your odd approach at asking questions. It made you stand out. It did not take all too long for you guys to start dating. Your personalities harmonized perfectly together & whenever you two were out, shit was about to go down.

“You working today?” Sam asked as he stripped on his new suit that Bucky gifted to him.

“If someone’s worth interviewing.” you shrugged mindlessly. “You know, someone with a metal arm for example.”

“Yeah?” he approached you. “What about Captain America?”

“Meh.” you answered absently, not even looking in his eyes. Simply to mess with him. “That guy’s too boring. Literally nobody wants to see him.”

“Is that so?” Sam came to a halt right in front of you. Just as he stretched out his arms in your direction did you spin around & distance yourself from him. “Hey!”

“What?” you turned to glance at him again, an innocent expression on your face. “Something the matter?”

“Baby.” he spoke in a warning tone & you had to hide your giggle. “What are you planning?”

“Damn, you’re really thinking the worst of me, huh?” one corner of your lips lifted slightly.

“I know you, (Y/N).” Sam shook his head. “You’re trouble when it comes to interviews.”

“Well, the trouble ensures for my income. Not everyone is an Avenger, alright?” you crossed your arms over your chest & pretended to be angry at him.

“Maybe you should ask your boss for a raise.” Sam pointed out.

“She’d fire me before she’d give me more money.” you laughed at the absurdity of it. Because honestly, you really believed every day could be the last at your current job.

“What if I end up ignoring you amongst all other reporters?” he was kidding, of course he was. Usually, it was the other way around. You were the only interviewer he ever paid attention to & therefore he knew about your quick changes in questions. No matter how much you had prepared, in the end you were always straying far from that.

“Then it would mean no money at all. Sam, come on. It’ll be fun.” you sent him a big enthusiastic smile.

“Come on, baby. Not this shit…” he sighed loudly. So you were planning on messing with him later today but you were not enlightening him. There was no way he could possibly prepare for the chaos you would put him thorough.

“Oh, so my creative, well thought-through profession is shit but you risking your life flying around like a fucking bird while throwing a metal frisbee isn’t?” you looked at him expectantly but no answer came. Sam simply approached you, leaned down & pressed a quick peck on your cheek. It brought a sweet smile to your face. While the playful banter & arguments between you two were pretty much a constant, you always made sure to say goodbye properly. Though, if you were honest, you already had some questions in mind that would bother the shit out of him. Oh, this would so turn out in your favor.

Being Captain America’s girlfriend was not necessarily easy. Especially when his life was at risk almost daily. And Sam did give you a scare or two (or maybe even a thousand) ever since the Flag Smashers had been doing their things. Of course you loved joking around & pretending that none of this truly faced you but if you were to be entirely honest, you probably were the one who worried the most. More than Sam & Bucky combined. You were not as successful as you hoped to be when it came to hiding your feelings. Luckily, your boyfriend read you like an open book & he never teased you about it. Not about something as significant as this. So, without actually addressing the topic, he cheered you up & eased your mind without you even realizing it in the first place.

You had been awaiting the phone call for a while now so when it finally sounded up, you felt relief washing through you. Not Sam was calling but your boss.

“(Y/L/N). Heading to the main event soon?” she asked without greeting you first. Simply getting straight to business. As you were used to from her.

“Yeah, sure. Just waited for your call. The team is already on its way I guess?” you inquired & already walked over to your closet to pick an appropriate outfit.

“They are…Can I trust you?” she hesitated & you rolled your eyes at her stupidity. You two were not the best of friends if that had not been clear yet.

“You can always trust me, boss. Otherwise you wouldn’t have called me.” you concluded & smirked when you heard her sigh on the other end.

“I wanted to sign Brock up for this one, actually.” she took a deep breath before she continued. “But we all know what the viewers wanna see & it ain’t your colleague.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior today.” you straightened your back though nobody could see.

“That’s what I’m afraid of…This is a big deal, (Y/L/N). We really need a good interview.” she informed you. Your boss was aware that every task you handled ended up being successful so you did not quite understand her worries.

“I’ll be there in 15.” was all you said before you ended the call & tossed your phone on your bed from across the room. It was frustrating to have your boss calling you with the same plea every time. By now she should perceive your take on interviews & the views spoke for themselves. You believed her biggest concern was you messing up big time. That big, in fact, that your news station would go bankrupt afterwards. But each time you finished talking to someone in front of the camera, your popularity only increased. Maybe you were not an average reporter but who cared for average in the 21st century? It was no secret that you were a master of your profession, collecting tons of people who envied you over the years & delivering accordingly when needed. Without you on their team, your station would have gone bankrupt. You were the only one keeping it alive & every member knew that.

You smoothed out the material of your pantsuit, checking if everything was ready for the live interview that would happen soon. The cameras were already working & your sound man fiddled with the microphone attached to your fabric one last time before he left you alone to do your job. When you first started here, your heartrate picked up its pace whenever you were about to interview someone. Nowadays, you simply relaxed, took a few deep breaths & went for it without too much overthinking. The fact that your boyfriend was on the other end of your microphone aided your calm demeanor as well.

Tons of people surrounded you & you scrunched up your nose at their attempts to stand in the front row. Your team had arrived pretty early so your cameras focused on the main area where the real deal would happen. Honestly, if it were not for you actively working as a reporter, you would have loathed that profession. Then again, you differed from the others. That kind of excused the ugly side of that job. Voices grew more frantic which meant that something was brewing. Your eyes flickered up & there he was. Your boyfriend. Captain America in all his glory. In his new suit that simply took your breath away. When you first caught a glimpse of it & even now.

Stupid & boring questions were fired at Sam’s way but he sidestepped them like a pro. The microphone in your hand was moved around from one side to the other. One thing you had learned in this job was to have patience. And to stand out because then, people tended to approach you more often than the rest. So you ordered your camera man to film Sam’s encounter with the Senator before you would interrupt. Your smirk was wide when you watched Captain America clapping back at the higher-ups who believed the entire world revolved around them. Seemed like he finished his speech because his back faced them & he made his way over to the swarm of reporters. But his eyes only trained on one. You.

“Captain America.” you nodded as you stretched out the microphone in his direction. He rolled his eyes at you trying to stay professional. The first words & you were already failing. “Mr. Wilson. Let’s keep it simple, shall we?” you corrected yourself.

“Sure thing.” he nodded, not once breaking eye contact with you.

“All of America is wondering about one thing.” you made a pause for dramatic effect. “Have you lost it?”

“What?” Sam was confused yet at the same time, he was used to the perplexity that came with you interviewing him. It was the same old.

“Your sanity.” you stated without batting an eye, appearing as serious as ever. He tilted his head backwards & could not hold his laughter in any longer. Success for you.

“Everything is as it should be.” he brushed you off but you were better prepared than this, of course.

“Yeah? Then explain this…Imagine your worried girlfriend sitting at home, simply waiting to receive the news of her boyfriend getting his ass kicked.” it was no secret to the world that you two were dating but you were not allowed to include that in your interviews. But when did you ever follow rules?

“Well, she can’t be that worried. Since she’s standin’ here & all.” he pointed out & you had to admit that he did have some good comebacks today. People would love the bickering between you two.

“We were lucky enough to watch your encounter with the Senator.” you quickly changed the topic in order to keep the conversation alive & interesting. “Don’t you think it’s time for you to give credit?”

“Credit for what?” he inquired with furrowed eyebrows. You had him again.

“Generally, when someone gets inspired or when they had help, for example with coming up with a speech that leaves everyone stunned, it is only fair to give credit.” you saw how deep he was in his thoughts to process what you had said but it seemed useless.

“Baby, you’re literally making no sense.” Sam shook his head, one of his hands raising to his face to brush over his chin. He just called you by your nickname during a live interview, the media would go crazy over that. It was the very first time because, again, you were not allowed to mix work & private stuff. You needed to figure out a reasonable excuse to tell your boss later on.

“While that speech was remarkable, it is everything but fair to skip the fact that your girlfriend was the one helping you create it in the first place.” only after your explanation did he understand what you were trying to say. But you were literally selling your viewers bullshit.

“Improvisation doesn’t need credit.” one of his eyebrows perked up as he chuckled.

“I agree with you on that, Mr. Wilson.” you contemplated his words, acting as if you were giving in. But you were not. “And we’re totally even if you give me credit for your speech there.” you then turned around so you were looking straight into the camera. “It was me who wrote little cards for him to memorize every day during breakfast. You’ve gotta know that I have the brains in this relationship so-“ Sam interrupted you, came up right next to you & nudged you with his elbow. It earned him a little grunt & an unhappy look from you.

“Who the hell watches this?” his question was directed at your team behind the camera who only shrugged in return.

“A lot of viewers expect quality content, Mr. Wilson. So if you could please occupy your previous position so I can finish this interview in peace, that would be very much appreciated. “ the camera angle changed once more as you shoved Sam back to his place. He let it happen but in the back of his mind, a plan had already started forming. Just as your mouth started opening, Sam snatched the microphone from your hand, ripping off the one that was connected to your pantsuit in one swift movement. You were too shocked to reply right away. Seemed like your team was experiencing similar emotions because nobody moved or said anything. When you were free, he grabbed your wrist & dragged you away from the scene. Your mouth opened & closed a couple of times yet no words were coming out. Hundreds of interviews & never had something like that occurred before. There was a first time for everything.

“The fuck?” was the first thing you breathed out after Sam pretty much shoved you into an alleyway.

“Yeah, likewise.” he laughed, his eyes holding the softness that were reassurance enough that nothing was wrong & that he was not mad at you. His lips pressed onto yours in a fiery & passionate kiss. One that caught you completely off guard. That was a…different reaction to you teasing him during an interview. A pleasant one at that.

“Should I ask?” you almost whispered after you two had to pull apart for air.

“Damn, let’s get married, baby.” he said it so casually, as if there was nothing special about it. Your bewilderment gave you away. You had discussed marriage before just not that straight forward.

“What, you got a ring?” your head tilted to the side & the look on his face was priceless. He did not expect your answer to be as bold as his suggestion. “I’m kidding, Sam.”

“We could go buy one.” he shrugged & made you laugh. Honestly, that was such a typical move of him.

“You wanna marry me even though I literally messed with you back there?” you questioned. Sam held out his hand for you to take & you intertwined your fingers with his. A gentle smile played at the corners of your lips.

“I didn’t expect anything else from you.” he commented after a short pause.

“You gotta admit, though…I was on fire today.” you nudged him & widened your sparkling eyes at the genuine smile he gave you.

“If on fire is another word for annoying, then hell yeah.” he sighed loudly, the sarcasm clearly detectable.

“I didn’t remember you to be this rude, Mr. Wilson.” you emphasized the last part & loved watching his body tense up. His grip tightened & his steps fastened.

“Come on.” he urged you on but you wanted to keep this game alive for a little while longer.

“Where are we going?” you glanced at him with innocent eyes.

“Home. We can buy your ring another time.” so you two made your way back to your shared apartment. Throughout the entire walk there, you fought the urge to bite your lip at your clever approach for this interview. If that was what you got out of it, then you were fine with being fired as well. Because, truthfully, you did not believe your boss would keep up with you any longer after today. But she did not fire you, no. The views were skyrocketing & she needed you to keep their station alive. You got your well-deserved raise, finally.

Published (05/13/2021) by Cathy

✨MY Ko-fi PAGE✨

Tags: @zestyemby, @met4no1a, @missroro, @bibliophilewednesday, @msmarvelsmain, @weareironmanbitches, @patricexirene (thanks for your support <3)

[mandoalorian]

Sugar and Spice [Maxwell Lord x Reader] - Chapter 8

Summary: When you are evicted from your apartment by your toxic ex boyfriend and have no place to go, who do you turn to? Alone in the city as the countdown to Christmas begins, you find yourself applying for a job as the assistant of the world’s biggest entrepreneur; Maxwell Lord. Little do you know, he has other intentions for you. No doubt about it, this Christmas will truly be like no other.

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: Smut, mentions of a previous verbally abusive relationship, typical 80s misogyny (but very little of it), mentions of food and drink, alcohol consumption. This is a sugardaddy x sugarbaby fic soooo… a daddy k!nk too oops.

But in this chapter - reader confronts her abusive ex boyfriend.

Author’s note: ANGST! Mention of an abusive relationship although I've tried to gloss over it as much as I can. Sorry this chapter was a long time coming. I'm so happy that people are enjoying Sugar and Spice.

MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS - CHAPTER EIGHT - NEXT

"I think," Maxwell swallowed. "No. I know. I know that I've fallen deeply in love with you."

You swore your heart stopped at his revelation. Hand still cupping his cheek, you looked deep into his glazed, honey brown eyes and saw nothing but the truth. The man who had rounded his career on lies and greed loved you. You felt your throat dry up, searching for words but not knowing what to say. Maxwell looked at you too, his soft eyes beginning to cross in bewilderment when you didn't say a word. He wished so desperately that you'd say something, anything. The last person Maxwell Lord said 'I love you' to, was his father. You couldn't leave him hanging.

You wanted to say it back, you wanted to so desperately tell him the truth— that you loved him too, because, you did. You hadn't confronted your feelings, you hadn't realized it fully until faced with your current situation. But now everything made sense. The jealousy, the lust, the need for affection and the want to be cared for.

Fate brought you both together. Running from an abusive relationship, getting almost kicked out of your apartment, and finding yourself in the expansive office of Maxwell Lord the IV. You thought you were going for an assistant position but instead you found yourself as his sugar baby and now… now this only complicated everything.

"Max," you whispered and he closed his eyes slowly, one final year falling down his cheek. Your gaze flicked between him and the almost finished bottle of whiskey on his desk. He'd been drinking at the gala and he'd been drinking when he got home therefore it was for certain that Maxwell was not in the right state of mind at all. "Do you want to go to bed?"

"You don't love me," Maxwell tried to ask but it came out as an embarrassing croak. "Of course you don't." He regretted the words immediately after they fell from his lips. He was so sure that he had ruined everything and things would never be the same again.

What was wrong with you? No matter how much you wanted to tell him you just couldn't. "Max," he admired the way his name fell from your soft lips. You continued to smooth his hair out of his face and he hummed in contentment, his eyes still closed. "You're so sleepy. Please, let me take you to bed." you whispered and Max barely moved. You called his name one more time and he opened his eyes the slightest. You pulled him up and wrapped an arm around his body. Despite him being much bigger than you, you somehow managed to navigate the drunk and hurting man the corridor and into his master bedroom. He slumped onto his king sized bed and you gently tucked him under the blankets. He mumbled something incoherent, reaching out and making grabby fists. He wanted you.

"Lay with me," he mumbled, trying to pull you down on top of him. You wanted to but you weren't even sure if you could stay at the penthouse after his revelation. You hadn't even shared a bed with Maxwell, and now suddenly he was requesting that you lay with him?

"I have to go." you whispered, running your fingers through his hair and pushing his bangs out of his face.

"No." he mumbled, but he was already half sleep. You planted a gentle kiss on his forehead before stepping back.

You had genuine trouble trying to process what just happened and why it happened. Maxwell trusted you. He shared with you a family secret that nobody else knew, and all because he was in love with you. You were perplexed.

Before you could leave his bedroom, you were greeted with your reflection in the mirror. Your hair was a mess, your ballgown was ruined and your makeup was tear stained. You padded into Maxwell's closet and took out one of his shirts and tailored suit pants. That man desperately needed to get a pair of normal casual clothes and fast. You tried them on, not minding the way they fit your body. You could've gone all out, finding a belt or a pair of suspenders to clip onto the light grey pants, but you decided against it. You pushed your hair out of your face and padded into the en-suite to wash your face. You didn't look much better, and you figured you probably just need a good night sleep. At least this way, no one would recognise you. You were almost certain the press would still be walking the streets looking for you and Maxwell. You actually kinda liked wearing Max's clothes, although there was no doubt in your mind that they looked better on him than you.

The streets were freezing and filled with thick snow. You regretted not taking one of Maxwell's suit jackets or warm winter coats but nevertheless you shivered all the way home. Your feet were like bricks of ice by the time you got back to your apartment. As you walked up the flights of stairs, digging into your purse for your keys, you were greeted with an unwelcome visitor. Tristan.

"Maxwell Lord," he deadpanned, standing in front of your door. You paused, looking at him hesitantly. "What the fuck do you think you're playing at?" Tristan snarled.

"What do you mean?" you asked innocently.

"You were on national television!" Tristan accused. "You and him, and a bunch of other snobby business pricks. Bruce fucking Wayne too… and the president!"

You rolled your eyes. "Tristan, it's late. Please move so I can enter my apartment and go to bed." You reached out to press your key into the lock when Tristan's large hand grabbed your wrist, his fingernails digging into your skin. You winced, trying to flinch back but he wouldn't let go, and suddenly the memories came flooding back. "Tristan," you gritted out. "Fucking let me go."

"I sold your apartment." Tristan spat.

"What?" you gasped, tears filling your eyes. "But I paid rent!"

"You're fucking around with Maxwell Lord, aren't you?" He growled.

"Who I fuck around with is none of your business! Now. Let. Me. Go." you tried pulling yourself away from Tristan but his grip around you only tightened. You squealed when he slammed you into the door. "You're going to wake the neighbours." You hissed trying desperately to keep your cool. You didn't want to seem weak. You weren't weak. You had this under control.

"Let's go somewhere more private then." Tristan smirked, dragging you unwillingly to his own apartment and locking the door behind him. "Now you tell me right now what the fuck is going on between you two."

"Or what?" You snapped back. "What the hell are you gonna do?"

"Is he your boyfriend?" Tristan quizzed.

"He's a friend." you glared at him, backing away everytime he took a step bearing you.

"A friend," Tristan repeated with a scoff of disbelief. "Just like you said on television."

You wondered how much of the gala and the interview outside had been televised but now wasn't the time to ask questions. You knew Maxwell had the power to rid you of Tristan. If he knew about the awful things Tristan had done to you and the way he had hurt you… well, Tristan may as well have had a death wish.

"Jesus Christ Tristan can you just let me go home?" you sighed, rubbing your eyes tiredly.

"I knew you were struggling with rent. I knew you had been laid off from work and it's Christmas coming up… if you had just told me you were struggling I would've made a negotiation." Tristan shook his head shamefully. "But no."

"Negotiate?" you questioned in disbelief. "You're a fucking manipulator!"

"And you're a fucking whore!" Tristan screamed, towering over you, his cheeks turning bright red with rage. "You know, I really didn't think you had it in you. Fucking around with some big CEO who thinks he's a hotshot."

"And what are you supposed to be?" you exhaled shakily, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. His words stung. "Maxwell… he cares about me. You never gave a shit about me."

"You think he cares about you? You seriously think Maxwell Lord cares about anyone other than himself?" Tristan barked. "He has you wrapped around your finger. I thought you were smarter than this."

"You don't know him the way I do." you smiled bravely. Fuck, you really did love him. And you needed him now more than ever. You knew that he was just a phone call away and if you told him you were in danger he would come running to rescue you with his whole team of security. If only you had just stayed with him. If only you had just decided to lay next to him, curled up in his arms in his warm bed.

"So you are fucking him?" Tristan scrunched his nose up and looked at you with disgust. He double checked the door was locked and put his key in his pocket before walking over to his bedroom. "You can sleep on the floor like the whore you are." Tristan laughed before going into his bedroom and shutting the door.

Once he was gone, you were left standing in the middle of your ex boyfriend's apartment feeling small and helpless. You didn't know what to do or where to go. You didn't even have Maxwell's number memorised so you couldn't call him. You let the tears free fall as you glanced between the locked door and the windows that you knew you couldn't squeeze out of even if you tried. You were trapped in a place that has brought back so much fear, and you didn't know what to do. You didn't know what tomorrow would hold.

You could barely sleep, the December cold hanging over your body like an icicle. You would give anything to be in the warmth of Maxwell's penthouse. God, you'd give anything just to be with Maxwell. You needed him.

The next morning, Maxwell woke up groggy, and his butler, Kenneth, was already waiting by his bed holding a platter of French toast, cup of black coffee and a glass of water. "Good morning sir," he greeted. "Your hangover breakfast, as requested."

Maxwell rubbed his eyes and shuffled upwards in bed as Kenneth placed the silver tray on his lap. It smelled delicious but he couldn't help but wish you were there to share it with him. He imagined you laying next to him in bed, giving him sleepy kisses while Kenneth presented you with your favourite breakfast meal; waffles and berries. The perfect life.

That's when Maxwell remembered. He practically three the breakfast on the floor and dived out of bed, still in his clothes from the night before. He caught a glimpse of your gala gown in the entryway of his closet and his heart sank in his chest. The memories came flooding back. He told you he loved you, but he didn't remember you saying it back.

"Have you seen Y/N?" Maxwell asked hurriedly, trying to weigh up what time you must have left. He quickly tore open his shirt and grabbed a clean one out of the closet.

Kenneth stood there awkwardly watching his boss work up a frenzy. "Uh no sir," he replied. "So I gather you won't be eating breakfast?" Kenneth's gaze flicked from Maxwell to the mess of French toast and spilled coffee that was sure to stain the cream coloured carpet.

"Shit no, sorry Kenneth. Could you call Jeeves and have him drive me to her apartment? I have to see her." Maxwell asked as he buttoned up the top of his dress shirt.

"Right away sir, but there's something I think you must see first." Kenneth swapped out the usual business newspaper that Maxwell would read for a glossy red-top tabloid magazine.

"You know I don't read that bullshit." Maxwell sighed, quickly combing his hair and trying his best to style it into place given the stressful circumstances. He wasn't going to forget to spritz his cologne either.

"Sir…." Kenneth drew out again, flashing the cover in Maxwell's direction. Maxwell caught a glimpse of it and his heart stopped. Front page was an image of you trending through the thick snow in the dead of night wearing Maxwell's clothes. The headline was explicitly disgusting, shaming you in every way possible. Maxwell's lips parted as he drunk in your appearance and he was horrified as he read the mean words the journalists had wrote about you.

"She cannot see this. I want you to buy every copy of this god forsaken tabloid and have them all destroyed. You understand?" Maxwell ordered, slamming his black business credit card into the chest of Kenneth. "Get the rest of the house staff to help you and do it fast."

"No worries sir," Kenneth smiled. "Jeeves is waiting for you outside."

Maxwell nodded appreciatevely as he tied his shoelaces. "Thanks."

"Sir?" Kenneth asked timidly.

"Yeah?" Maxwell asked, semi breathless.

"When you're with her, I see your face light up. I see the same happiness in you that I once saw in your father." Kenneth admitted and Maxwell's heart blossomed at the comparison. "When you get her, please don't ever let her go."

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added)!

December Magic: @100layersofdaddyissues @mrschiltoncat @thisisthe-wayson @this-cat-is-dea @blonde2bomshell @maiyaaaa0130 @autumnleaves1991-blog @justanotherblonde23

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[lakesandquarries]

oh it’s you (that i lie with)

for Oumota Week Day 2 - Timeloop

warnings: major character death (temporary but graphic)

notes: title from as the world caves in by matt maltese but i just listened to the cover by sarah cothran. happy oumota week everyone!! consider joining my oumota discord maybe!

AO3 Link

Kokichi lazily spins a french fry through his ketchup as Momota takes a seat across from him. The movement makes the table jostle. Kokichi doesn’t move.

“Getting used to it, huh?” Momota asks. “I guess this is just life now. Beats being dead, at least.”

“You failed, then?”

“I think every smoke alarm is busted.”

At 6:15 pm, the cafeteria will explode. A stray spark will hit an errant gas line and the entire place will go up in flames. There will be no survivors. 

Kokichi knows this because he has experienced it eleven times already.

The first time was unexpected. Obviously. When he woke up this morning (eleven mornings ago) in his dorm room he assumed today (eleven todays ago) would be normal. 

That assumption was disproven before he died and the day reset, but that’s unrelated.

The first time he died, the last supposedly normal minutes of his life, he and Momota were at this very same table. They weren’t alone then. Their friends had been with them, and Akamatsu had been in the middle of telling a story about a bird flying into the room during one of her classes, and suddenly there had been the loudest sound Kokichi had ever heard. He’d felt an intense, searing heat for just a moment, and then something large and heavy falling on top of him, and then he didn’t feel anything because he was dead.

When he woke up in his bed again he’d assumed it was a dream. Even when the morning played out much like the morning in his “dream” - well, that wasn’t too strange. Saihara had lost his favourite socks, but he did that often. Yumeno fell asleep in the cafeteria during breakfast, but she did that every day. Amami tripped down the stairs and had to go to the nurse, but he never paid attention to his surroundings. 

And then, right at the end of breakfast, Momota got down on one knee, presented Kokichi with a ring pop, and asked him to go on a date with him after dinner.

The beginning of the day had been typical. It wasn’t strange for his dream to match with reality, because his life was predictable.

That was not something he could have predicted, unless he had suddenly developed a new superpower.

The first time, he’d beamed at Momota, took the ring pop, and said he would be delighted to and that if this was a prank he’d have Momota killed.

The second time, he’d just said “What the fuck,” and then took off running.

The rest of the day went differently, but it was just close enough to make it clear. Kokichi had snuck around unused halls, spying on the classes he was skipping. Chabashira still had a five minute argument with the teacher during math, Hoshi still spilled a beaker in science. This time he got to watch Akamatsu’s unfinished bird story play out.

Just like before, he went to the cafeteria, and just like before he felt his bones flattened and then nothing at all.

In the present, whatever that really means, he tells Momota, “I hope I don’t get crushed again.”

Momota frowns. “At least it’s quick. The fire was the worst.”

“Well, I at least want some variety. It is the spice of life and all.”

Leaning forward, Momota rests his chin on his hand. His eyes keep darting to the clock on the wall. “I’ll toss you into the fire this time, if you want.”

“My hero.” Kokichi folds his arms behind his head and leans back.

They’d really tried, this time. They’d tried every time. This time, Kokichi had barely broken into the kitchen when he was caught. At least it was one of the kinder chefs. They’d given him french fries and instructed him to stay in the cafeteria where they could see him. 

“We still have some time,” Momota argues. “I mean, 6:15 is in like, an hour. We can at least prepare for next time.”

“Hm, would you like to scope out some more interesting places to die? I’m getting bored of the cafeteria. At least maybe something different will crush me.” He’s fairly certain it’s a table that keeps killing him, at least in the last few loops. For a second he’d felt the texture of the wood crushed against his face. 

“We’re gonna figure it out,” Momota says. His voice is full of empty confidence, a thin soap bubble that will pop if looked at for too long.

“Well, of course. You still owe me that date, after all.”

Perhaps it’s his imagination, but the glint in Momota’s eyes gets sharper. “I do. I’m a man of my word, you know.”

“You’ve given me your word more than a few times. I think you might owe me a few dates, my dearest Momota-chan.”

Momota’s eyes dart to the clock again, and Kokichi follows his gaze. 5:25.

“I’ll take you on as many dates as you want, Ouma.”

Momota had asked him out again in the third loop, and the fourth. Kokichi had accepted those, though in the fourth one Momota hadn’t bothered to drop to one knee and hadn’t even offered him a ring pop. He’d just turned to Kokichi and asked, “Will you go out with me?”

“I want a ring first,” Kokichi had said in response. 

“A ring,” Momota repeated. “What kind?”

“Grape.”

Momota had presented the ring pop, and Kokichi said yes.

In the fifth loop, Momota got down on one knee again.

“Ouma,” he started.

“Will you go on a date with me?” Kokichi asked. Momota reeled back, looking around the room in surprise. 

“Uh….yeah.” He stood up, blinking heavily. “How -”

“I have my ways,” Kokichi said with a wink. 

He’d skipped his next classes. That had been the first time he broke into the kitchen. He did a decent job sneaking, and his little recon mission was how he figured out the likely cause. He’d only gotten a brief glimpse before the chef kicked him out.

Momota was waiting for him at that same table. “Ouma,” he’d called out, waving him over, and Kokichi obliged him by taking a seat in the same chair he’d died in four times. “Are you hiding something?”

“Always. Are you?”

“You knew what I was doing this morning.”

“I’ve known you were in love with me for months.” Kokichi leaned back in his chair, twirling a strand of hair around his finger. “Obviously I knew what you were doing.”

“But you didn’t! The first - Uh, I mean...Oh, fuck it. You know what’s happening, right?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He kicked his chair back, balancing it on two legs. He was not going to be the one to say it first, and it was so fun to get him worked up like this. “I mean, I know everything, but -”

“The loops! You’re the only one acting different! The first loop, you were surprised, the second loop you were - and now you’re stealing my lines!” Momota leaned towards him, hands on the table.

Kokichi raised a single eyebrow. “Your first performance was your best, Momota-chan.”

“So you are aware. How?”

The chair’s legs thudded against the ground. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“I…” Momota hesitates, bluster wavering before it comes back full force. “Obviously, the universe knew I was the best person to task with fixing this. I’m gonna save everyone, just you watch.”

“Oh, good. I was worried I’d have to do something.” He stood up abruptly, almost knocking the chair over. “I’ll see you for our date, then.”

A hand grabbed his sleeve, pulling him back down. Momota was reaching across the entire table, gripping Kokichi’s sleeve tightly. His brows were pinched together, face unguarded and open and desperate. There was only a second of hesitation before Kokichi ripped his sleeve away, narrowing his eyes at the man across from him.

“You can’t seriously plan to do nothing,” Momota insisted. “There’s gotta be a reason -”

“Maybe I’m supposed to be working against you,” Kokichi said. His expression fell away to blankness. “You’re so eager to trust, Momota-chan. It’s very stupid of you.”

“That shit stopped working on me last year.” Momota jumped to his feet, hands pressed against the table as he leaned dangerously forward. Kokichi doesn’t need to have time traveled to know he will inevitably topple forward and crash into the table. Perhaps he would be the one to die to it this loop. “Ouma, I know you. Fuck, I asked you out this morning, you really think I’m still gonna fall for your evil bullshit?”

“I mean, it’s worked before. Recently, even.”

“You broke in through my window! Look, you’re missing the point. I know you wanna save everyone as much as I do.” His eyes were alight, grin too sharp for Kokichi’s liking.

“It’s in the kitchen.” 

Momota leaned forward again, and there it was - he fell face first onto the table.

“Idiot. Maybe the universe did choose me to help you. You’re clearly too stupid to figure it out on your own.”

Momota didn’t waste a second. He pushed himself back up as Kokichi spoke, completely ignoring his words. “See! We’re a perfect team, Ouma. What’s in the kitchen?”

A mess was in the kitchen. Every surface had at least five distinct fire hazards, and all together it combined into something unfathomably dangerous. A stray spark ignited a chain, and at the end of that chain was a crater.

Since that loop, they’d tried different ways to fix the kitchen. They’d tried scoping out times where no one was there (there weren’t any), they’d tried convincing the chefs something needed to be fixed (they’d been kicked out), they’d tried fixing it themselves (the explosion happened three hours earlier that loop), they’d tried setting off every smoke detector they could find (none of them worked). 

It’s starting to look a little hopeless.

Students begin filing into the cafeteria, happy and carefree and unconcerned. Akamatsu’s voice carries as she rushes to their table. “Ouma-kun, Momota-kun! I was wondering where you’d gone. The strangest thing happened in math earlier -”

Kokichi lays his head on the table. In his mind, he could only see Akamatsu’s broken body, her flesh beginning to bubble. Her screams were always the loudest.

It‘s always the same. Akamatsu starts her stupid story. Saihara arrives late, feathers in his hair, and Harukawa trails after him and glares at Kokichi. 

She usually survives the longest, from what Kokichi can see. She stays standing until the end. Saihara crumbles quick and quiet.

“Are you alright?” Saihara asks as he takes a seat next to Kokichi. 

Kokichi looks up at him. He’s too tired for expressions. “You’re going to die in twelve minutes.”

“Right,” Saihara says, and then he turns to Akamatsu and asks if she can help him get the feathers out of his hair.

They smile, and laugh, and talk, and at 6:15 exactly, that spark is set off.

Kokchi lives a moment longer than the last few loops, long enough to see Momota crushed by a falling piece of ceiling. 

“Liar,” Kokichi says to him, and then he too is gone.

---

He wakes up in bed.

[justanotherlifeff]

Warning: Slight angst

Yes, you officially hated Bakugou Katsuki, the man who gave you a promotion, only to make you deal with his nonsense even more. Yep, you did get paid more than before but honestly, no amount of money can amount to the level of pain this man puts you through. Yes, for once, you are not complaining about the piles of paperwork (which surprisingly is less than before). In fact, paperwork was the easiest part of the job. What drove you crazy was dealing with his PR team.

As his assistant, it was your job to make sure that he stayed out of trouble from the media and oh boy, this man was always a pinch close to having a scandal every single day. You wondered how the hell did he even manage to do that? You, in time, realized that this time bomb of a man lived in his own little world where he was the king of everything and everyone (much like his old hero name, king explosion murder, as you found out from an interview with Pro hero Shouto) and he aimed to do whatever he pleased. By whatever, you meant, yelling at random civilians, blasting off reporters if they asked him too much questions, and not to mention, the number of women who claims to have slept with him on social media. Well, he did sleep with them but that was not something good for a Pro Hero’s reputation.

Yep, this man did whatever the hell he wanted to and guess who had to face the consequences of his actions? You. Hell, this man just did not listen! You honestly felt bad about yelling at him about his actions since he decided to just hand the job over to you, when you were clearly not qualified enough. Which is why, you decided to take a different approach towards the entire situation.

You had noticed that there was a small group of people that Bakugou trusted (surprisingly) and while they were near Bakugou since high school, you decided that you needed to earn his respect to exactly that level. Which is why, you planned to ask the grumpy pro hero to have lunch with you every day. Of course, your home cooked meals were far better than the ones sold at the cafeteria. There was no way that he could refuse good food.

“You didn’t season the meat properly and the curry isn’t spicy enough”, he said. ‘Would I lose my job if I punch him right now?’ you wondered. “Well, why don’t you cook me something better then?” you asked instead, not being able to control the glare that came with it. “As if I’m gonna waste my time on something as stupid as that.” He scoffed, drinking his water. “I thought so.” You answered with a victorious smile. That means he surely can’t cook as good as you right? His opinion on your cooking totally didn’t matter in that case. “Hah? Are you fucking challenging me? I’ll show you how cooking is done!” he growled at you, making you chuckle at his outburst.

Yep, you were now gobbling down the food of the extra bento he brought from home. Seems like his cooking was as good as his critiquing. He was at the Gordon Ramsey level. “Now that’s what you call good food.” He commented cockily as he looked at you eating like you were starved for a month. “THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONLY THING I AM GOOD AT!” you exclaimed. “Well, I’m the best at everything!” he announced cockily. “Well, not dealing with people and the media apparently” you grinned at him. “As if those extras even matter.” Bakugou scoffed as he ate his own food.

“Well, why don’t you bring your own food? The cafeteria food sucks ass compared to, well, this gourmet level shit….” You mumbled, stuffing your face with rice. “Tch... Don’t talk with your mouth full, dumbass. And, it’s not like I have the time to cook my fucking lunch. My patrols start at 5 am remember?” Bakugou grumbled, before sticking his chopstick in his mouth. “You really do overwork yourself, Bakugou-san…” you sighed before an idea, or as you liked calling this last minute obviously stupid idea as ‘plan B’, struck your head. “Why don’t you teach me how to cook?” you asked him, looking clearly excited.

You were surprised that you were able to pull that obviously ridiculous plan off. “No!” he answered immediately back then, looking at you as if you just asked him to jump off a roof (though you do agree that asking him to teach you how to cook probably was very close to that). After making your infamous puppy eyes (which never worked but surprisingly did this time) and reminding him about that one time you got completely overworked due to him not noticing that his assistant was not working, he actually agreed to teach you, despite his complains about you being a ‘sneaky bastard’. Which is why, you were now waiting patiently for him to give you a video call, right after work, to teach you how to ‘at least know how to season food like a normal person’.

“YOU ARE PUTTING TOO MUCH PEPPER! YOUR FUCKING ASS IS GONNA BURN FROM HOW SPICY THIS IS GONNA BE!” He was yelling at you, making you want to punch through the phone. “OH, FUCK OFF! DON’T FUCKING ACT AS IF YOUR FOOD DOESN’T LOOK RED AS FUCK! OFCOURSE, YOU PUT A SHIT TONNE OF SPICE ON IT!” You yelled back. “THAT’S CHILLY POWDER YOU FUCKING DONKEY!” He yelled, to which you replied, “WELL, WHY DON’T YOU SHOW ME FIRST HAND HOW TO COOK INSTEAD OF YELLING THROUGH A FUCKING PHONE?”

When he cut the call, you expected to lose your job and never see him again. “Well, maybe it’s not gonna be that bad right?” you wondered. What you did not expect was for him to show up at your apartment within 10 minutes. “How the fuck did you know my address?” was the first thing out of your mouth. “Your resume, dimwit. The bigger question is, how the fuck do you live here?” he asks, looking around at your studio apartment, that was way too small for someone as big as him. “Well, I’m not as big as a fucking tower, am I?” you grumbled, letting him enter the place. “Heh, you’re right about me being as big as a tower, geddit?” Bakugou gave you a smug grin, making you blush furiously. “Oh, shut the fuck up! What the hell are you doing here in the first place?” you asked, trying to hide your blush.

You wondered how the hell this asshole made you blush every single minute as he taunted your shitty chopping board skills, while moving around in the tiny kitchen (which seemed even tinier now), barely having any personal space between the two of you. “I’m gonna show up after work tomorrow too. I can’t teach your clumsy ass in one day…” Bakugou sighed as he wiped his sweaty forehead. “Sure” you answered, glad that the rather handsome man was finally going to leave and you could think about your unexpected feelings more properly.

On the other hand, the angry blond, while he was terribly good at hiding his emotions, couldn’t help but feel a certain way towards his new assistant. It started with seeing you frantically trying to deal with his PR team, juggling his paperwork at the same time, and being so obviously done with his shit, and yet, being nice to him for God knows what reason. It all made him want to make you lose your shit, get angry and demand him to get in line. Hell, you’d probably look hot when you’re angry. The fact that he was completely right was proved when you yelled at him through your phone, since it was just a video call between two acquaintances, instead of him being your boss. He couldn’t help but show up at your house after that, only to have that weird feeling intensify as he saw you being clumsy as hell in that tiny ass apartment. Hell, he might end up buying you a bigger apartment at this rate.

The next day turned into a week and then, a month. Every day, Bakugou would say that he’s not done with teaching you and that he would come back the next day, only to teach you some random very difficult French cooking technique, hoping it was a French ‘something else’. You started spending more time with the grumpy hero at lunch break as you cooked him a decent lunch every day, only to have him grumble about how ‘it could be better’ and yet find no excuse on how it isn’t already perfect. You never argued about it either as it would result in one more day of cooking lessons.

You hated Bakugou Katsuki as he still lived as if he owned this world. You hated that his crazy fangirls would throw themselves at him and he would relish in that. You hated that you had to deal with his PR team thanks to his fuckboy ways, when you clearly hated seeing him with those snobby fangirls. You hated Bakugou Katsuki because you love him, because everybody loves him.

Taglist: @bonbonthedragon @the2ndl

[floralguccistyles]

prologue: soupe à l’oignon

Michel’s soupe a l’oignon was burning.

Michel had also been through a terrible breakup the night before in which he had found his boyfriend of almost seven years in bed with their personal trainer. Then Michel’s boyfriend had announced that he and this personal trainer were actually married, per a terrible ceremony in Las Vegas when they were both drunk. Therefore, Michel was technically the other man. Michel had never been the other man before. He was obviously having a rough time.

But the fucking soup was burning.

“Michel! The soup!” Italia shouted before the scent could officially assault all of my senses. The second the words left her mouth, however, I could smell it. The onions were burning to a crisp. There would be no saving them, of this I knew. 

“Shit!” Michel yelled, immediately turning off the heat of the stove. He went to go grab the saucepan and the hurried “no!” didn’t leave my mouth fast enough as he gripped the cast iron handle with his bare hand for approximately three seconds before he yelped and dropped it back down on the stove top with a slamming sound. “Shit, shit shit!” he repeated, clutching his wrist with his other hand. 

“Let me see,” I demanded, moving away from my own meal (which would be fine and not on the verge of burning for at least another five minutes) and towards Michel. He held out his hand to me with tears in his eyes and I honestly felt bad for the guy. 

I just also felt really, really bad for the customer who was waiting for their soup.

“Go run it under cool water. Cool, Michel, not cold. Ice-cold will damage the tissue even more. Then get a rag wet and hold it over. You can just go ahead and take your fifteen.”

“My soup—”

“Italia and I will handle it,” I interrupted. The more time we wasted standing here arguing was time that could have been spent trying to salvage the soup. It didn’t help that we were already down a chef, since Frederick’s wife was giving birth, but we would make do. Italia and I always did.

“Thanks, Dom. I’ll be in the lounge.”

Lounge was a loose term. It was a tiny little room in the back that looked dingy and unkempt. Still, it was enough to pass health inspections. Only about two people could fit back there at a time, which was why I usually just sat in my car for my breaks.

“Sounds good, Michel.” My eyes locked with Italia, who was already working on melting the butter and oil for Michel’s soup in a new saucepan. Isobel, one of our dishwashers, had already grabbed the pan Michel had ruined and was scrubbing it clean with her thick rubber gloves on her hands. At least I knew she wasn’t going to be burned. 

When Michel turned to go into the lounge, I grabbed an onion and automatically began chopping it. “Sorry, Italia,” I muttered under my breath, knowing she could hear me just fine. We had gotten used to the hustle and bustle of the kitchen.

“It’s fine. Tell Louis to offer them a dessert on the house because this soup is going to take at least another fifteen.”

I wanted to slam my head against the counter. Or better yet, use the pan Isobel was now putting on the drying rack to hit over my head. “Fuck. Alright.” 

Finding Louis was easy enough. He was making his rounds in the front of the restaurant, his pleasant attitude most likely earning him more than average tips. The kind of people who came to Lesauvage were wealthy enough to tip generously. Sometimes they didn’t, but for the most part, Louis wouldn’t be starving anytime soon. “Louis!” I hissed under my breath when he passed by the kitchen doors, cups in hands to refill. He jumped comically.

“Christ, Dom, you scared me,” he replied in a quiet voice, not wanting any of the customers to hear. “What?”

“Tell table eleven there was a complication with their soup and dessert is on the house.”

“What the fuck happened to their soup?”

I raised a brow. “Michel made it.”

Michel’s boyfriend drama had already made it around the restaurant. Twice. Chefs were a nosy bunch. Louis nodded in understanding and filled up a cup with iced tea as he looked towards where I assumed table eleven was. I actually hadn’t ever really paid attention to the front setup of Lesauvage because I had always entered through the back door.

“Fine. But I’m recommending the chocolate mousse because you’re here and you make it the best.”

“Compliments will get you everywhere,” I replied with a wink.

He grinned. “Got me into your bed, didn’t it?”

Louis and I had a fling when I had started working at Lesauvage. I was fresh out of culinary school, bright eyed and bushy tailed, and he was the experienced waiter who comforted me in the lounge my first day when my boss had completely ripped me a new one. He was the unattainable, three-years-older coworker who I was moon-eyed over for at least five months before we actually slept together. And once we had, it was like some switch had been flipped inside my body and he was suddenly nothing but a friend.

Thank the fucking lord he felt the same way.

“You’re damn right it did. Now go make me proud, Tomlinson.”

When I hastily returned to the kitchen, Italia was already ten times ahead where Michel had been with the soup. I sent her a thankful look and grabbed the beef stock, passing it her way as I grabbed a knife and began chopping the green onions for my own dish. 

As much as I complained about the hustle and bustle of the kitchen, I secretly thrived in it. It was what I had missed when I had been in culinary school. So many of my classmates cooked their meals silently. When I cooked at home, I blasted music and sang loudly and off-key to myself. At work, I had the conversation of other people. I liked learning about Italia’s kids and Isobel’s ex-boyfriend who kept trying to call her. I even liked Michel, even though right now he wasn’t my favorite person in the world. 

School had been lonely. At least here I felt like I belonged.

“They’re good for the chocolate mousse!” Louis shouted over the sound of Isobel doing the dishes and Italia chopping more vegetables. 

“You’re a saint, Tomlinson!” I replied, dropping the spices needed onto Italia’s cutting board. She slid them into the soup with her knife and the skill of a seasoned Lesauvage veteran. 

The chocolate mousse was luckily already in the fridge cooling from my prep this morning, so I didn’t have to worry about making it at that exact moment. I did finish the salad I was working on and passed it off to Sydney, who was another runner. She grabbed the plate and sped off to table seven. 

The time went by quickly when I was in the kitchen. My thoughts could roam  because the movements of cooking were muscle memory at this point. When I had first been hired, I had been terrified to mess anything up. The first time I had pulled a Michel, I had cried. My boss had yelled at me pretty badly, but had brought me into his office afterwards to apologize and assure me that I was doing a great job. Now, it felt like second nature to pour the green onions into the butter garlic sauce that was sautéing. And when Italia handed me the soup that she had completed, I sent her a grateful look and wasted no time in handing it off to Louis. We worked as a team here.

I thrived on that.

“Get those chocolate mousses out and ready,” I told Michel when he came back from his break. His hand didn’t look too worse for wear, but he looked decently embarrassed. I knew, at least for tonight, there would be no more mistakes. 

“I’m really sorry, Dom,” he said softly, preparing for my anger.

“It’s fine, Michel. Just work on desserts for now, okay? But this is the comp dessert for table eleven, so try to pay attention, yeah?”

He hung his head, but nodded and went to go prep the mousse. It wasn’t that Michel wasn’t talented. He wouldn’t have been hired if he hadn’t been a great chef. But the boyfriend thing was really getting to him. I hoped he had at least the next two days off to recoup.

“Dom,” I heard Louis say about thirty minutes later as he walked through the kitchen door. He had the empty plates from table eleven in his hand and handed them off to Isobel. “They’re ready for the dessert.” He eyed me questionably when Michel handed them off to me, as if it was wrong that I had let Michel touch them after his little mishap but I had faith in the chefs. “These better be good,” Louis said in a warning tone.

“I made them, Tomlinson, of course they’re good,” I snapped, clicking my tongue in annoyance. It was a bad habit I had done when I was a kid and never seemed to shake it. 

He shrugged, taking the completed desserts and walking back out to the restaurant. “They looked great, Michel!” I encouraged, turning to continue chopping the beef I had been working on before Louis had come in. 

When I cooked, time passed by without my notice. What felt like two minutes later but was really thirty, Louis walked back into the kitchen with a solemn look on his face. “They want to see the chef.”

“Who?”

“Table eleven.”

Shit. “You said they were fine with the soup, yeah?” Louis nodded, which meant the problem was with the chocolate mousse. And since Michel had done nothing but added the whipped cream and chocolate shavings on top, if they had a real problem with the mousse, it was on me. “Fuck. Alright. Italia, can you finish this dish for me really quick?”

Italia nodded, looking up from the celery she was chopping to examine the chicken I was seasoning to see how much she would need to do to complete it. Nervously wiping my hands on my apron after I washed them quickly, I tried to make myself look a little more presentable. It was rare that chefs were invited to the front of the restaurant, so we were usually unkempt and had food on our clothes. It didn’t matter to me what I looked like as long as the food was good, but I knew it was a shock to the high-end patrons of the restaurant.

Louis led me over to table eleven, where three people were sitting. There were two men and one gorgeous woman that looked like she could model for a living. She was happily chatting and holding hands with one of the men, excitedly waving around her free hand. He looked engrossed in her story, nodding and smiling and staring at her like she was the best thing in the world. Their companion was simply taking sips of his wine (a wonderful red that went really well with the chocolate mousse and I thanked Louis for obviously recommending it to them) and pursing his lips in response to whatever the woman was saying.

She stopped talking when she noticed Louis and sent a blinding smile at us. “This is the chef, I presume?”

“Dominique Blanchard,” I said, holding out my hand for her to shake. I was thankful I had run my hands under some soap and water. We weren’t allowed to have our nails painted in case some of the varnish fell off into the food, but her fingers were perfectly manicured and painted a vibrant blue. “I’m sorry again about the soup. We had an incident in the kitchen.”

She waved it off. “The soup was fine. That chocolate mousse, however? It was to die for!”

I felt my shoulders deflate. I had been so worried that they were upset with their experience or food that I hadn’t even thought they had wanted to chat because they enjoyed their meal. “Thank you. It’s a Lesauvage specialty.”

“Dominique makes it the best,” Louis supplied helpfully from behind me. I grinned nervously.

“We all loved it,” the man holding her hand spoke, and I was surprised to hear an Irish accent. “It was the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” And I was glad it took the attention off the fact that their soup was late. The other man stayed quiet, simply ignoring the conversation as he sipped at his wine again. 

“I have the weirdest proposition for you. Please feel free to say no if you don’t want to, but I would kick myself if I didn’t ask.”

My eyes strayed back to the woman, who was talking to me politely. 

“I’m two months pregnant,” she said happily, her hand going to her stomach like most pregnant women did when their pregnancy was announced, “and I’m so incredibly exhausted nowadays. I can barely muster up enough energy to come out to dinner, let alone make myself toast in the morning. And your chocolate mousse was the only thing I’ve been able to keep down for more than thirty minutes. I was wondering if you’d ever consider being a personal chef?”

Chefs at Lesauvage being asked to become personal chefs for celebrities or rich individuals wasn’t as uncommon as one would think. The chef I had replaced had left to become a personal chef for some actress who split her time between London and Los Angeles. As far as I knew, he simply travelled with her. But it was the first time the suggestion had ever been brought up to me, the first time that someone had liked my food that much.

Which was why my mouth comically fell open.

“I could pay you plenty!” she said, which led me to believe she was well-off. Well, that and the fact that she was eating at Lesauvage, which wasn’t exactly known for their cheap meal choices. “I just...I’m so tired all the time. The doctor said it was normal, but I don’t even want to get up out of bed sometimes. And I’m only two months along! I can’t imagine trying to cook myself meals when I’m eight months. You’d cook some things for Niall and Harry too, of course.” She gestured to the two males sitting with her. 

“This is...I’m sorry, this is just incredibly unexpected,” I managed to stutter out.

“Of course, I’m so sorry I’m just flinging this on you. How about I give you my number and I’ll get back to you in about a week or so? Will that give you enough time to think it over?”

“Yes, of course.” Taking her number wouldn’t hurt, I told myself. She had a little card in her wallet with her information on it, and I saw that she actually was a model. 

“I’ll be in touch soon. Thank you so much, Dominique. I’ll probably be dreaming about that chocolate mousse for the next six months.”

I was able to laugh at her joke even though it still felt like someone had shaken me into a concussion. I exchanged goodbyes with the three of them as they left the restaurant, leaving a more than generous tip for Louis. 

“Well that was nice of them,” Louis said, clapping me on my shoulder. “Think about it, yeah? It’s not the worst idea in the world.”

It wasn’t. But I couldn’t think about the proposition until my shift was done tonight.

~

Welcome to the world of Mise en Place! I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter and are as excited to read this fic as I am to share it!

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

Wicked Game (Part 2)

Word Count: 20K+ total Team Long Winded Bitch strikes again, this will be posted in multiple parts over the next couple of days. The first part is about 5K, part 2 is 7K

Rating: 18+ Slash fic Strong language, alcohol and drug use, and a misogynistic and racist comment. Sexual scenes including masturbation, toys, voyeurism, oral, and anal sex.

Summary: Ashton is ready to move on with his life after his painful divorce from Luke and the demise of the restaurant they’d built together. With the help of his protegee and sous chef Hima Singh, Ashton is ready to take on opening weekend of his new restaurant Anne-Marie’s. Calum is a reporter filling in on an assignment and is surprised when his past comes back to haunt him. Hima arranges an interview that takes an unexpected turn between the two men.

Ashton grabbed his bag and shut off the lights in the bar. Hima was waiting impatiently by the door, keys in hand. Following the disaster of an afternoon, they'd been packed until closing. He'd been too busy cooking to think about it, something he loved about his job. The rush and the heat combined with the complete focus on his work. You had to keep your eyes on your fingers or you got hurt. The satisfaction of plating an order and sending it out until the next order came in, starting the process over again. 

"Will you come on?" Hima tapped her foot, making her keys jangle. "My brother is waiting for us."  Her twin brother had passed the bar exam a month ago, but everything had been so crazy with the opening they hadn't properly celebrated yet. 

The bouncer recognized Hima and let them in immediately. Tirana was a sleek, neon-lit bar favoring overpriced cocktails, elaborately garnished and meant to be as much of a showpiece as a beverage. Ashton eyed the crowd full of men sporting off the rack Italian suits with egos as inflated as their dates' chests. Kabir was waiting in VIP with his friends and waved them up. Ashton congratulated him and ordered a spiked seltzer, passing on the bottle service Kabir offered. Hima was taking shots with the guys and he joined them in a toast. As he was taking a drink he spotted Calum Hood leaning against the wall, looking bored and maybe a little drunk. Hima must've seen his expression because she whipped around just as Calum looked up and noticed them. Ashton tried to look away and act as if he hadn't noticed the other man. Hima had other ideas and made a beeline for the reporter. 

"Hey Calum, fancy meeting you here," she said relieved when he seemed happy to see her. "Come have a drink with us, or am I interrupting something?"

"If you're buying," Calum replied. "A friend brought me here and then fucked off on a phone call." He laughed, but it died out when he saw Ashton.

"Listen," Hima cut him off before he could speak. "I know this afternoon didn't go well, but what you don't know is just before you came in, my boss had to sit through an interview with Kevin Mackie. It did not go well " 

"Oh God, that insufferable bastard," Calum snorted.

"Exactly, and you know Mackie brought up all that old shit from Lune Rouge," Hima told him "That's in addition to insulting every woman who works there, of course." 

Calum cringed, and his eyes flickered back towards Ashton talking to Kabir and his lawyer friends. He couldn't help but notice the contrast between the intense scowling man he'd encountered this afternoon and the smiling bubbly ray of sunshine he was looking at now. Was that an actual giggle? Calum blamed the tequila for agreeing to join Hima for a quick drink since his date still hadn't come back. He'd allowed his editor, Shamara, to set him up twice now, but there wouldn't be a third time. 

Ashton wiped his sweaty palms on his black jeans as he watched Calum following Hima over towards them. He'd found the reporter attractive this afternoon, but he'd been wearing a long sleeve button up for the interview. Tonight Calum was in all black, and the tank top he wore under the leather jacket showed the ink etched into his skin above his collarbones. Ashton gripped the drink in his hands a bit tighter, trying to keep his nerves steady. He slowly edged his way over to where they were talking just as Calum launched into a story about his magazine sending him on a tour of small mom and pop restaurants up the California coast. 

"The owner's husband was sick that day, so she was doing most of the work herself," Calum was saying as Ashton listened in on the conversation. "Beulah was amazing, but they were getting slammed. I asked if she needed any help, and I spent the next three hours manning a fryer. I cooked the chicken, and she'd toss it in the hot oil and spices before slapping it on a bun with the sauce. You'd get the sandwich, pickle, and fries in a little brown sack. We sold hundreds of them, but I knew why when it slowed down enough that I finally got to eat. It's the best chicken sandwich you'll ever have! Tossing it in that spicy oil gives it a flavor that punches you in the mouth. She taught me most of her secrets over the two days I ended up staying until her husband got over the flu.." 

I could listen to this man talk all day, Ashton thought watching Calum's expressions and hands as he told the story. The way his chest rumbled when he laughed, which was often throughout the tale. He seemed like a genuinely warm person, and Hima seemed to like him. Maybe I was wrong, five years is a long time

"That's so sweet," Hima smiled up at Calum as he finished..  She was smitten despite hearing rumors he played for the other team. 

"Ended up extending my trip for an extra five days which caused all sorts of headaches when I got back. My boss was pissed I'd gone over my expense account," Calum said, shaking his head at the memory, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol now loosening his tongue. He was relieved his date was still MIA. Ashton was standing close enough for Calum to smell his cologne, and it was proving distracting. 

"Is that the same magazine you work for now?" Hima asked.

"Yeah, but I was damn near fired. I paid back the money by throwing cash onto my boss's desk when I turned in my story, and he was not amused. The editor-in-chief, who also owns the publisher,  loved my story, and after that, I was sent on more in-depth character profiles. I wanna get to know the people behind the food." Calum looked directly at Ashton, meeting his eyes as he spoke. His breath caught in his throat at the intensity in Ashton's hazel eyes as he listened. How is he this handsome? Calum thought. This man has no right to be this good looking. That chest hair peeking out from under that pink shirt is teasing me. Wonder what's underneath? Wait, no I don’t. Stop thinking about that or you're gonna get hard.

"So what exactly were you sent to find?" Ashton asked, his tone still guarded but more friendly than before. 

Calum took a deep breath and thought quickly. After the interview bombed this afternoon, he came up with a backup plan if Ashton didn't come through. He made a decision to float both his ideas.

"Look, I know a lot of people are bugging you for gossip about your personal life, but that's not what I'm here for. You opened your first restaurant at 25, and the food at Lune Rouge was fantastic. I know I didn't give you a good review then, but I was trying to be edgy and cool," Calum admitted.

Ashton exhaled and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry about this afternoon. Mackie brought up Luke, and when you mentioned Finn I snapped. I'd like to try again, but I know Hima is more interesting. So what did you have in mind?" Ashton smiled and Calum had butterflies in his stomach. 

"I'd like to watch you cook, and see how you are in the kitchen. Tell me how your philosophy on cooking has evolved and what stayed the same," Calum replied. I hope that didn't sound as cringe to him as it did to me. Turning to Hima, he continued talking, "I'd like to do an extra little feature on you if that's ok. It'll give the article a nice balance I think, what do you say?" 

Ashton saw Hima's face light up and knew he'd have to say yes. He had to admit, the pitch sounded great, even if the idea of Calum watching him work made him nervous. They turned towards him to see what he thought, and Ashton's gaze landed on Calum's mouth just as he licked his lips. Please don't do that, he thought to himself. Don't make me think about how you taste, and how those lips would feel against mine.

"I definitely think Hima deserves her own feature. I'll go along with whatever you want," Ashton told them. 

"You know Calum," Hima turned on the charm. "I'm off tomorrow. I could take you to the best Indian restaurant you've never heard of for lunch." Her eyes got huge and she grabbed Calum's arm. "I'm a genius you guys, listen, the restaurant is hella busy, and the boss man," she nodded towards Ashton, "won't be much fun to interview if there are customers waiting. He just redid the kitchen in his condo, so why don't you do the interview there? That way he's not around us idiots at the restaurant." 

Both men stared at her, and Hima panicked thinking she'd overstepped somehow until Ashton nodded. "Sounds like it could work, what do you think?" He asked looking at Calum who nodded, his smile getting broader. 

“Sure, um, that sounds great. Really just um, great," he fished his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it before handing it over. "Go ahead and put your number in, and I'll text you tomorrow." 

"Is that your little sister?" Hima asked, spotting the picture on his lock screen. 

"That's my daughter, Vanessa Joy. Absolute light of my life," Calum beamed, pulling up another pic.

"Daughter?" Hima and Ashton exchanged shocked looks before quickly regaining their composure.

"We were kids. I hadn't figured things out yet," Calum gave his standard explanation. 

He started to say more, but he spotted his now-forgotten date headed back towards them.  Hima saw his grimace and followed his gaze to the approaching man. She guessed he must be a lawyer who wanted everyone to know it, wearing a double-breasted British tailored suit and gold Submariner watch.

"Sorry about that Cal, that was a client who's a real pain in the ass," the newcomer joined their little group, peering at Ashton with suspicion. "I'm Nick Callahan, a junior partner at Fish, Filbeck, and Greene " Hima almost laughed out loud at this skinny little dude in a fancy suit trying to puff out his chest and put some bass in his voice as he went to shake her boss's hand. Ashton looked amused but Calum not so much. 

"Calum, if you don't mind, there's someone I'd like you to meet," Nick waved at a group who'd just come in. He tried to pull Calum away, but he shook Nick's hand off his arm.

"Give me a second, and I'll be over," Calum said, nodding at someone he recognized in the group. "Tell Teddy to order a round of drinks, I'm buying." When Nick still didn't budge, Calum turned his body towards his date and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "I'm interviewing this young lady tomorrow, and I want to get it set up before I get drunk, ok?" 

Nick swallowed at the warning in Calum's voice and scurried off to meet his friends. 

"Sorry about that," Calum turned back, smiling again. He had them each put their number in and saved the info with a smile.  "I'm so glad I ran into y'all. Hima, I will text you in the morning, and Ashton just let me know when and where." He gave her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek which made her blush furiously. He shook Ashton's hand and everything seemed to pause as they locked eyes, exchanging smiles. The handshake lingered a beat too long before they both pulled back completely flustered. 

"See you guys then," Calum made a hasty retreat towards Nick and his friends. 

"What did you do?" Ashton hissed, feeling dizzy, excited, terrified, and nauseous all at once. 

"We'll just have to see, won't we? You two are obviously into each other," Hima tossed her hair over her shoulder, giving Ashton a pointed look. 

"I'm not trying to start anything, you know that. Since the divorce it's been too hard and-" Ashton stopped when she put her finger to his lips.

"It's an interview. With a very attractive reporter. You'll be in your element, you can hide behind your food and your knives, but you can get through this. I want my feature." She glared at him and stood on her tiptoes trying to go eye to eye with him.

He had to laugh. Hima was impossible to stay cross with. As he glanced back over towards Calum, he couldn't deny he was intrigued. Don't get your hopes up, Irwin. 

Kabir came over to drag them back to his friends. Ashton spent the next hour dancing with Kabir's girlfriend and watching his friends try to hit on Hima without getting caught. Hima's family was overprotective, and her mother was constantly pressuring Kabir to find his sister a good match. As a result, she kept her private life closely guarded, even Ashton didn't know much, although he suspected she had a thing going with one of the servers at Anne-Marie's. 

As the song ended, he realized he had to pee. Ashton excused himself and followed the neon arrows to a dimly lit hallway decorated with glow in the dark graffiti. He made his way past the line for the women's room and around two people noisily making out next to the emergency exit. He reached the men's room door just as it swung open towards him. He stumbled back to avoid being hit and collided with the couple behind him. An arm shot out from the tangled bodies, shoving him forward chest first into the man who'd just come out of the bathroom. Ashton put his hands up to steady himself, inhaling the scent of leather and whiskey with a faint whiff of stale tobacco as he looked at Calum's face inches from his own.

"Sorry, uh, I was pushed," Ashton apologized, unable to stop staring at the other man's lips.

"It's ok," Calum's heart was pounding, and he was sure Ashton could feel it through his jacket. He was tempted to make a move and go in for a kiss. He paused long enough to remember the interview, and not wanting to have another misstep, he let the moment pass. "It's all yours," he said squeezing over so Ashton could pass.

Ashton paused, confused, but remembered he was headed to the bathroom. "Thanks, uh, see ya," he replied trying not to stammer. Yeah, that was smooth, he thought. Before he closed the door, he looked back and caught Calum looking back at him.hey both smiled before the crowd closed in and he lost eye contact. He had to stand and splash cold water on his face to get his pulse back to normal. When he looked in the mirror, he saw that his face was still very pink and he was grinning like a fool. I didn't just imagine that did I? What am I doing? What am I going to cook for him? 

*********

Ashton jumped at the sound of the buzzer even though he was expecting her. He quickly let her up, and within seconds Hima was at his door. 

"How did it go?" He hadn't even fully opened the door before the question was past his lips.

"Eager much? Why don't you get me a drink, and I'll decide what I want to tell you," she said, taking off her jacket and hanging it up. 

"You impertinent bitch," Ashton cracked up and headed to the kitchen to put on the kettle.

"You sound like my mother," Hima settled at the bar facing him.

Ashton had expanded his kitchen so he could install a six top gas range and a convection oven while giving himself extra counter space with a small sink directly across and a small island in between. Instead of a dining room, he had an L-shaped bar where he could serve guests directly from the kitchen. He pulled a pitcher of cold brew out of the fridge and poured himself a glass with a splash of cashew milk adding a splash to her cup of hot chai. 

"It's such a shame you're gay. We'd have such a great marriage," she joked blowing on her tea.

"I love you too much to marry you, darling," Ashton replied as always. 

"Good thing I like my new stepdaddy," she told him, and he choked on his coffee. 

"So what did you guys talk about?" He asked when he'd recovered. 

"Mostly me, but also you. What do you want first, the details about him or what he asked about you?" Hima smirked at him, almost laughing when he glared at her. 

"I'll let you decide, how about that?" Ashton rummaged through the refrigerator before pulling out a loaf of bread. 

"Ooh snack time. When did you go to the market? I thought you opened for Rafi today. What are you gonna make for him?" She fired off, trying to crane her neck to see what he bought.

"Nope, you're gonna talk or you're not getting fed. I went before I went in at ten and I stayed till eight. I've barely got home, and I don't need your attitude, young lady. Now spill it," he told her as he pulled out a couple of onions and some gruyere cheese. 

"I love it when you're pissy. It looks so good on you. So I took him to Parvati's and ordered chana masala on roasted sweet potatoes. It was so good, I wish you liked Indian food more. We talked about my family, and how they're mostly engineers and lawyers but food was my passion. Confessed that when we first met, I had the biggest crush on you because you were so handsome." She giggled and made a show of fluttering her eyelashes at him. Ashton blushed and threw a caper at her. Hima swatted it back at him and kept talking. "Calum agreed you were handsome by the way. So I told him how you'd mentored me, and when you left the Hilton to open Anne-Marie's, you brought me with you. It was very heartwarming, and I promise I made you look good. He asked a few questions about you, but it was mostly professional stuff. What was it like working for you? What kind of collaborative effort went into the menu? Stuff like that," she shrugged watching Ashton heat up some soup as the sandwiches cooked. 

"Well, that's a lot of nothing. I thought you were better than that," Ashton said, pouting his lips at her. 

"I know he asked if you were single, but he was hella smooth about it. He asked what kind of gift he should bring tomorrow, whether it should be a bottle of wine or something you could share if you had a roommate. Don't worry, I let him know you were single, but I was cool about it," Hima grinned at her boss's discomfort. He cut the sandwich in half and poured a cup of soup to go with it. He cut some fresh chives to top off the soup along with some crème Fraiche and fresh cracked pepper. 

She stopped talking to enjoy the food. Ashton introduced her to cream of celery soup and it quickly became a favorite. The sandwich was beyond good yet incredibly simple: sauteed onions on a grilled cheese sandwich made with Ashton's homemade compound shallot-butter. 

"I'm disappointed, I thought you were better than that," Ashton raised his eyebrows at her.

"I'm not done, I'm just enjoying the food. My compliments to the chef." Hima ripped a piece of crust off her sandwich and dipped it in her soup. "I found out some things about Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome," she told him before running her tongue along the edge of the bread and then taking a bite. 

Ashton laughed and flipped her off. He had pastry cream cooking in a double boiler, so he was continuously stirring between bites. 

Watching him work, she never knew if she was completely in awe of him or a little in love with him, but probably both if she was honest with herself. She'd told Calum as much, off the record of course. It always amazed her how his large hands could be so nimble and quick with a knife, yet so delicate and careful when he was garnishing and plating. She'd told Calum how grateful she was that Ashton had given her such a huge opportunity without being patronizing or expecting her to touch his cock. 

People might think cooking would be a natural fit for a woman but professional kitchens were very much a man's world. You had to be physically and mentally tough. She was lucky that she'd gotten out the hotels before she'd been subjected to sexual harassment, but she'd seen enough. Ashton didn't tolerate any kind of physical or verbal harassment, but every cook could curse a blue streak and work through an injury. Most cooks wore their scars like battle wounds. Hima had a jagged thin white line trailing down her left forearm from a staple on a lettuce box that ripped her flesh open while putting away a truck. Ashton had a couple of red welts from the panini grill decorating his arms and a gnarly pink, puckered scar on his left wrist from an accident with molten sugar years ago.

"Ok so, he's a year and a half younger than you, turns 28 in January actually. Aquarius, so that should be fun. Never married, but he's got the kid," Hima informed him.

"That really came out of nowhere the other night. I never would've guessed that," Ashton said over his shoulder, turning his back on her to keep stirring. 

"It happened when he was in high school. His first girlfriend, their senior year of high school. They'd already been broken up for two months when they got the news, just when he'd started to figure out his sexuality. They tried to get back together for the sake of their daughter but quickly realized it wouldn't work in a traditional way. Now they're best friends and co-parents to Vanessa Joy. In fact, when Nicole married her boyfriend, Michael, two years ago Calum walked her down the aisle," Hima told him.

Ashton's jaw dropped. "What the hell, Hima? You guys had lunch one time and you know his life story." 

"My mother's interrogation skills rubbed off I guess. His daughter also happened to call while he was with me. It was so cute; she made the honor roll and he was so proud. He apologized for taking the call during lunch but said he always has to answer if it's his daughter or his mom." 

Ashton turned towards Hima, smiling and blushing, "I can respect that." 

"I'm sure you can, Mama's boy," she replied. "Honestly the two of you are adorable. A pair of smitten kittens. He kept asking questions about what it's like to work with you. What are you like as a boss? And every question he got this funny little smile and couldn't look at me. I really hate that you get the best looking guys. It's bad enough you look like that," Hima gestured at him as she looked him up and down. "First Luke, and now Calum, I'm so jealous. That being said I really hope you hook up with him. You could stand to get laid." 

"Watch it," he cautioned, not wanting to kill the mood.

"Sorry, but the other night y'all had some serious chemistry. You should go for it. Speaking of, I gotta go. Kabir is having a date night so I actually don't have to go home," she checked her phone, and Ashton didn't recognize the gaudy pink glitter case. 

She caught his puzzled expression and laughed, "My mom checks my location, so my iPhone and my car stay at Maisie's. Everything gets forwarded here, and I don't have to answer a million questions." 

"You're 24, how are you still dealing with this? When is your mother going to treat you like an adult?" Ashton shook his head, he never understood how she dealt with her family.

She sighed, "It's impossible to explain unless you have Asian parents. My mom grew up here, but my grandparents were still very much rooted in India. If you think my mom is difficult, you should've met grandma." A text came in, and she wrinkled her nose in annoyance reading it. "Why am I the only person who's punctual?" She muttered to herself before looking back at Ashton. "So what are you making tomorrow for the big date, I mean, interview? Mind if I smoke?" 

He shook his head and followed her onto the balcony. "Stop saying that, I'm nervous enough as it is. I'm starting with a wilted chard salad with figs and goat cheese, and maybe a soup. I haven't decided, but for the main, I'm making mushroom Wellington with my specialty Mac and cheese and whatever vegetables I pick up at the market tomorrow morning. I'm making a sorbet for dessert. I was going to make a pavlova, but I don't have the patience for merengue right now." 

"Calum doesn't stand a chance, he'll be thoroughly seduced. Then I'll get my magazine story and be a star. People will start asking me for photos on the street, they'll learn how to pronounce my name, and I'm only going by Hima. I think I can get away with just one name, like Madonna, Beyonce, and Cher. Don't you? I promise the fame won't go to my head. I'll still be Hima from the block." 

Ashton cracked up. "Ok there, Roxy Hart," he teased. "You are so extra, it's too much for an old gay like myself." 

"You're not even thirty," she protested. Another text came in and her eyes lit up. She stubbed her cigarette out on the bottom of her shoe before wiping it clean with a napkin and stuffed both in her purse to throw away outside. "You've just gotta get back on the horse, and Calum seems like the type who'd be into chaps and spurs." 

"Don't you have places to go, people to do?" He asked, walking her to the door.

"Sure do, good luck tomorrow," she kissed his cheek and was gone.

*********

Calum finished the dishes and popped another antacid in his mouth. Spicy food didn't used to give him heartburn. Getting old I guess. His dog, Brutus, danced around his feet begging for a treat. 

"Not gonna happen, old man," he bent down to scratch the pooch behind his ears, but Brutus immediately flipped over for a belly rub. "Greedy bastard," Calum chuckled but obliged with a ton down and chin scratches. He found a chew stick on the couch and tossed it over by the dog's bed, and soon Brutus was curled up contentedly gnawing himself to sleep. 

Calum watched his little guy for a bit before heading to his desk to type out a rough draft. Hima was a firecracker, full of energy and ideas, and hard to keep up with. She talked a mile a minute, often switching topics mid-thought as she spoke. He'd had his voice recorder on, but he liked to write his first draft from memory. He admired her passion for her work, and her determination to follow her own path. She was fiercely loyal to Ashton and grateful for the opportunity he'd given her. Calum would've suspected she was a bit smitten with her boss, but she openly admitted her crush. She was quick to insist Ashton had never encouraged or entertained the idea, but she didn't need to tell him that. 

Calum knew all about Ashton's history, the cheating, the fights, the messy breakup that brought the restaurant down. He exhaled, nervous about having that conversation. He shut his laptop, now too distracted to write. It's just an interview, calm down. He tried to be rational, but his thoughts kept drifting back to bumping into Ashton at the bar. The pink shirt, the star tattoo begging to be traced with his tongue, those hazel eyes that made his heart jump into his stomach. He tried to focus on his laptop. This article wasn't going to write itself. 

****

Ashton laid on his back, concentrating on his breathing as he pressed his knees to the floor in reclining bound angle pose. He'd had too much coffee, and although his body was tired, his mind was racing. His phone was vibrating on the dresser, but Ashton ignored it, moving into a butterfly pose and touching his forehead to the floor. He exhaled, trying to clear his mind. But all he could think about was Calum Hood. He had a brand new restaurant to run. Now was not a good time to become infatuated with a handsome reporter. So why haven't you stopped smiling all day?  

He breathed deeply, in, out, in, out. But he couldn't concentrate, couldn't calm down. He pushed himself off the floor and grabbed his water off the table. He opened his phone and was surprised to see a notification from the restaurant security system. 

Alarm deactivated at 12:02 AM 

Alarm Panel 2

Code: 4452

Ashton realized Hima was at the restaurant. He knew she usually went there after her accounting class but that definitely wasn't the case tonight. Probably popped in for a bottle of wine, which doesn't sound like a bad idea. 

The kitchen tiles were chilly beneath his bare feet as he headed towards the small wine fridge on his counter. Craving something sweet, he found a Shiraz he'd been saving and poured a small glass. He scrolled through Spotify, picking a playlist at random, and Robyn's  "Dancing on my Own" came over the speakers following him through the apartment back into his bedroom. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and paused. 

He pulled his shirt off and turned around examining the freshly-healed Phoenix tattoo decorating his left side from his hip to the top of his ribs,  covering up the tattoo of Luke's name, birth date, and their wedding date. He trusted his tattoo artist and let him have creative freedom on the brightly-colored feathers and flames. It turned out beautifully. He turned sideways, rubbing his stomach and flexing in the mirror. He was in the best shape he'd been in since he was a teenager. Yoga kept him toned and lean so he was muscled without being bulky.

I'm giving it my all

But I'm not the girl you're taking home

He let the Swedish synth-pop beat take over, his hips swaying as he listened to lyrics about loneliness and feeling left out.

I keep dancing on my own

The irony wasn't lost on him as he kept dancing, moving away from the mirror. The next song was too slow so he quickly scrolled looking for something better. He clicked on Whitney Houston's "How Will I Know," and began to sing along. He saw that Hima hadn't left the restaurant and opened up the security camera feed on his phone to make sure she was ok. 

****

The more Calum stared at the screen the more his concentration drifted. He wondered if Ashton had a type. Cal knew he was decent looking, but he wasn't Luke Hemmings. He snorted at the thought of that simpering pretty boy. Luke was a spoiled child, soft and weak, thinking only of himself. I bet he's selfish in bed, probably a bossy bottom  He was surprised at the surge of jealousy he felt. Don't bring Finn into this. He rubbed his temples at the memory of finding out his then-boyfriend was cheating with Luke.

Finn was always looking for an opportunity, whatever would take him to the next level. His relationship of almost a year with Calum failed to get him noticed in the food press. Finn felt Ashton didn't give him enough credit at Lune Rouge and whined constantly about it. Cal was having his own career struggles at the time and personally thought Finn was acting like a spoiled brat instead of being grateful for the opportunity. They began to spend less time together after Calum's snarky review caused a huge blow up. So when Ashton and Luke's relationship began to fray, Finn had time to lend a sympathetic ear. Calum suspected Finn was cheating, but he bought into the “golden couple” bullshit so Luke never crossed his mind. Calum was shocked and gutted when he walked in on the two of them one afternoon. Finn was supposed to be out of town, and Calum popped by to check on his dogs. The sound of sex greeted him when he opened the door and he should have left right then. His curiosity got the better of him, and he walked towards the bedroom. Their moans masked the sound of his boots as someone had a very loud orgasm. Calum opened the door as they were falling away from each other. He walked in to find them panting for breath, sweaty and beautiful with the afterglow. Luke panicked and tried to hide himself, but Finn didn't flinch. 

"Well, I guess you know now," he said, smirking as his green eyes met Calum's. "If you're down for it, we've been talking about trying a third. You can top us both if you want." He shrugged and Calum physically felt the spell break. Looking back, he knew Finn broke his ego more than his heart. He'd been humiliated when it all came out, but he knew the affair had been worse for Ashton. He could tell Ashton was still damaged but definitely not broken. Wouldn't mind letting him break me, Calum thought, his mind wandering back to that unbuttoned pink shirt, Ashton's chest and neck begging to be marked up. I bet he likes it rough. 

Calum caught himself daydreaming again and blinked the half-filled word document back into focus. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a crush on someone, and he felt ridiculous. How am I gonna get through this interview?  It didn't help that Hima kept teasing him about it being a date. Calum's last date, with Nick the lawyer, had been a disaster. He'd ended up leaving after Nick disappeared on another phone call.

The truth was, he was excited about this interview and wished it really was a date. He'd scheduled a quick haircut and shave in the morning and carefully picked out an outfit. He figured his short-sleeve, red button-up paired with a black tank underneath would show off his arms while helping to hide his tummy pudge. He rubbed his stomach, still poking out from the leftover Indian food he'd finished off an hour ago, before letting his hand wander down and brushing his fingers across his cock and feeling it twitch in his basketball shorts. He wondered what Ashton would be wearing tomorrow. He pictured Ashton at the club, the ripped black jeans and the pink shirt unbuttoned enough to tease him. His dick twitched in his hand, waking up and demanding attention. 

****

Ashton gasped and almost dropped his phone at the sight of Hima standing in the break room in nothing but her bra and panties. He hadn't recovered from that shock when a male figure crawled into the frame. It took Ashton several seconds to realize the man was nude and covered in tattoos. The tattoos rang a bell, and he realized he was looking at Dakota, model/actor, Maisie's nephew, and a server at Anne Marie's. Dakota was a dark, brooding pretty boy with a perfect pink pout and tousled dark curls that he was always brushing out of his eyes. He was great at his job, but other than that he'd made no impression on Ashton, until now. Ashton watched the younger man on his knees in front of Hima as he sucked on her bright pink cock. What the fuck is happening?

Ashton blinked at his screen, still processing everything when Dakota stood up and bent over the table. Hima lined up behind him and thrust her hips against his ass. Ashton gulped for air and felt beads of sweat break out on his upper lip. He watched for a minute, hypnotized by Dakota writhing in pleasure, his black curls bouncing with every stroke, shoulders hunching over as he gripped the table. Ashton's mind flashed to Calum and what it would look like to have him bent over like that. He realized his dick was getting hard and quickly closed the app, feeling embarrassed for invading her privacy. He fumbled getting his phone into his pocket and accidentally skipped to the next song. "Anytime, Any Place," by Janet Jackson filled the room.  He laughed to himself at the sexy song and took another sip of wine. 

****

Calum squeezed himself through his clothes. He vaguely remembered Finn telling him Ashton was rumored to have a massive cock. He groaned at the thought of Ashton's hazel eyes looking down at him while he was on his knees. He imagined Ashton's cock brushing against his lips, teasing both of them. Calum groaned and gave up any pretense of trying to work. He stood up too quickly and knocked his chair over causing Brutus to wake from a dead sleep and start barking his head off. 

"It's ok, boy," Calum assured him, making sure he laid back down before going into his bedroom and shutting the door. Moments later he was stripped down to his boxers and shirt digging through his top dresser drawer until he found the small bag hiding under his socks. He pulled a bottle of lube and a small silicone sleeve out of the bag and walked back to the bed. He peeled off his shirt, kicked off his underwear and laid on his back on the bed. His cock was flat against his stomach, and as Calum reached for it he wondered what Ashton was doing right now.

****

Ashton felt the plug slip into his ass and shivered at the chill of the stainless steel. He wiped his hands off on a towel and walked out of the bathroom into his bedroom. The music was still playing. Janet's silky smooth voice gave way to Beyonce’s sultry vocals

Baby put your arms around me

Tell me I'm a problem

He walked back into his bedroom, feeling delicious shivers from the pressure on his prostate as he moved. The city lights illuminated the room from the open blinds on the balcony. 

Stop acting so scared, just do what I tell

First go through my legs, go back on your head

And whatever you want, yeah baby I'll bet it comes true

He reached down and squeezed his dick, rubbing his thumb over the tip down to the sensitive underside of the ridge. Pulling the shaft down and away from his body, pushing almost to the point of pain before easing up and giving it a nice slow stroke. He repeated the motion, each time pulling a little harder, edging a little closer to making it hurt, each time when he pulled back the relief was more intense. His fantasies were new visions: dark eyes and black curls still coming into focus in his mind's eye. He squeezed his muscles around the plug as he tapped the remote on the table next to him. The plug began to vibrate on the lowest speed and Ashton hissed at the sensation. He wondered if he'd let Calum fuck him.  Ashton didn't bottom very often. Luke didn't like to do the work, rarely agreed to switch up and whined whenever he did.  Calum looked like he could give as well as he got. 

***

Calum grunted as he pushed his cock, slick and shiny with lube, into the sleeve. His hips jerked upwards into the air as the countless smooth nubby fingers lining the inside of the toy closed around his swollen shaft, gripping and massaging the taut skin with every stroke. He screwed his eyes shut picturing Ashton on his back with his knees pulled up to his chest as he begged for him. Calum bit his lip to stifle a moan, slowing down his speed, not wanting to cum too fast. Hima told him Ashton called himself a “bendy boy” and had a strict yoga routine which just sent Calum's mind spinning, picturing trying different positions until Ashton was screaming for him. Calum moved his hand away, leaving the toy. The scenario in his mind began to switch up. The only thing Calum could think of hotter than fucking Ashton was getting railed by his massive cock. 

****

The combed cotton, high-thread-count pillowcase felt velvety soft and air-conditioned chilled when he bunched the pillow in his fists as he thrust his hips, burying his shaft in the soft folds. It felt amazing but was cold comfort when he was craving Calum's body heat. He turned the remote up a notch and adjusted the settings; a pulse pattern began throbbing against his core. He squeezed down on his dick even harder. He could feel the delicate feathers snapping under his fingers, but he didn't care. Ashton ached for release, longing to have Calum in his bed tonight. Every nerve in his body seemed to come alive as his orgasm began to build. His hips pumped faster trying to match the pulsing rhythm inside him. He wanted Calum, with a craving he’d never felt before. Something in those dark eyes challenged Ashton. There was something about this mysterious reporter that he needed to discover. He was getting closer with every stroke, the fantasy switching to pounding Calum into the mattress, seeing how well he could throw it back. The image was too much and he shuddered, cursing out loud as his climax hit. His hips stuttered and his legs wobbled, forcing him to his knees. The vibrator extended his orgasm, milking him drop by drop as he whimpered and fumbled for the remote. When he finally turned it off, he rolled onto his back and tried to catch his breath, thankful he'd bought a nice fluffy rug to put next to his bed. .  

****

Calum flipped over onto his stomach, grinding down with his hips, the sleeve moving with the friction. He wondered if Ashton was vanilla or if he could get into Calum's slight pain kink. He'd looked for Ashton on FetLife to no avail, but he was fairly sure he'd found Hima so that was a surprise. Calum reached up and tugged his nipple hard as his hips rocked slowly. There was a power to Ashton. He had a dominant side which Calum had clearly seen in his dynamic with Luke, despite Ashton being smaller in size. Calum wanted to see how he'd take charge because he wasn't soft like Luke, but he had no doubt Ashton could handle him. Calum raised himself up on his forearms, pumping his hips furiously. He thought about those arms wrapped around his neck, his teeth grazing Ashton's blood moon tattoos as he bent Cal over and took him hard and fast. He whimpered, biting the pillow, his rhythm starting to stutter as he thought about Ashton looking up at him, eyes wide with Calum's hand at his throat as they reached their high together. Calum was just at the edge when he quickly rolled over, removing the toy and ruining his orgasm. He gasped, his whole body shaking as his release spilled onto his belly. After a moment he reached down, using the sleeve to tease the tip through the aftershocks until it became too sensitive to touch. He was hungry again, so he grabbed a Kleenex and wiped himself off as best he could before walking, still naked, back through his house to turn on the oven. Pizza was always a good snack after sex, and he had an article to work on.

@sublimehood​​ @tea4sykes​​ @be-ready-when-i-say-go​ @scribblesos​​ @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995​​ @wildmichaelflower​​ @castaway-cashton​​ @damselindistressanu​​ @notinthesameguey​​ @cashtonasfuck​ @irwinkitten​ @mermaidcashton​​ @malumsmermaid​​

[diabloindigo]

Are you the person to open a box of cereal just to get the toy inside? As a kid yes. Right now, I don’t buy cereals with prizes anymore. Do they even stuff toys in cereal these days? 

Do you get scared easy? If it’s in the anxiety induced variety, yes. 

What was one of the stupidest things you cried over when you were little? Not sure, it could have been anything from not wanting to wear a fancy dress or dress shoes to a party or a broken toy. 

Have you ever drank milk from the carton? Despite having a working dishwasher and plenty of glasses, I “waterfall” milk and juice from the containers. 

Juice or milk? I go both ways, leaning more towards juice. Apple or orange. 

Do you ever turn off your computer properly? Once in a while. 

Do you wish you were a fish? Not really, though I kinda envy the blue Dory (Doctor Fish?) in the tank at my gynecologist’s waiting room. It likes to swim to the bottom of the tank and ride up to the top on a bubble jet. That damn fish has probably had more fun than I have in the past several months. 

Who’s your favorite super hero? Invincible (Amazon Prime). Along with Spider-Man (2002) and the Big Hero 6 movie, that character/series is a rare superhero show that makes me feel strong and vulnerable at the same time. 

Who’s your favorite super villain? Slade Wilson/ Deathstroke as seen in “Teen Titans: The Judas Contract” animated movie and the 2003-2006 “Teen Titans” cartoon series. 

Spiderman or X-men? Spider-Man. Tobey Maguire and Peter B. Parker from Into the Spiderverse. 

Movie theatre or stay at home movie night? Theaters. Alamo Drafthouse. I love ordering boozy milkshakes and finger foods.

Do you have a Blue Ray? I have one of those external drives for my Mac though I never use it. 

How about HD television? Yeah

Do you think HD television is kind of a waste of money? No. 

Do you get why people get so frickin’ freaked out during football season? I do not, and living in a state with a hard-on for (American) football makes it weird when I tell people that I do not have a favorite football team/player. 

Do you ever sneak scraps to the dog even though you’re not suppose to? I don’t sneak him food. If I cook or order too much to eat, then I scrape a couple of cup’s worth of leftovers in his bowl. He’s probably got only a year to live so let him live it up a little. 

Are you reading a book right now? If so what? A friend gave me a copy of “The Only Good Indians” but I can't get into it so I’m reading “Full Throttle” by Joe Hill. 

What was the last book you were required to read for school? It’s been so long I can’t remember. 

O donuts or jelly filled? Whipped cream filled. I love Krispy Kreme’s whipped cream filled donuts with raspberry filled donuts as a close second. 

If I’m feeling bland then I do like crullers. 

Do you like your ice-cream in a bowl or cone? Bowl unless it’s a tasty cone. 

Marshmallows in your hot chocolate or no? I could go either way unless it’s a tiny cup of chocolate. 

Do you like cherry coke? Hell yes. I love going to Sonic for a cherry-vanilla-lime Coke or this greasy little 1950s type burger joint for their cherry cokes since they load the cups with several cherries. 

Do you really think diet Dr. Pepper is the equivalent of a cupcake? No, it tastes artificial. Like a bastard child of a soft drink that wants to pass for cherry soda. 

Do you snore in your sleep? Drool? Talk? Snore and talk (I’m pretty stressed out).

Have you ever sleep walked? no

Are you a morning person? I am now. 

How do you wake up in the mornings? by alarm during the work week, naturally at 6-7 on vacation days. 

Do you think guyliner is hot? What is that? 

Is variety the spice of life? yeah

Do you think strawberry milk is disgusting? I like it. 

Have you ever drank after anyone? Like sharing a cup/bottle? Yeah, loads of times.  

Have you ever drank after anyone you don’t know very well? No. 

Do you have any limits on who you drink/eat after?

If we’re talking about sharing, then I will share food/drink with family and friends. If someone offers me bite-size pieces that are individually wrapped or can be torn off the main portion, I’ll eat it, but only from co-workers or acquaintances. 

Would you eat a sucker if someone already ate some of it? No. 

Would you chew somebody else's gum? Hell no. 

Do you know anyone who’s going to die of mono because of that? No. 

Do you enjoy school? My English and psychology classes. 

Are you a teacher’s pet? no

Do you have a job? Yes. 

How did you get to and from school? Parents drove me or I walked for elementary through high school. I drove when I went to college. 

Do you have a bedtime? And if so what is it? I’m in bed between 11-12 a.m.

What time do you get up? 6 am so I can walk/exercise before the sun boils the earth in full force. 

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Yeah in college. 

What’s more important? Beauty or brains? brains

Do you believe in yourself? Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don’t. 

Did you ever want to be an astronaut when you were little? No. Being a veterinarian or scientist were my highest ambitions as a small kid. 

How about the president? Never. 

What did you want to be when you were little? Veterinarian, scientist, cartoon character. 

Did you ever want to be a super model? no

Do you believe you’re attractive enough to be a super model? No.

Have you ever had an X-ray? Several in the past few months for pre-surgery and dental work.

What’s your favorite guy’s name? What’s your favorite girl’s name? Guys’: Shane, Mark, Tadashi, Austin, Cade, Trip.

Girls’: Quince, Sienna, Amy, Kit, Lizzie (Elizabeth), Raven.

Who’s your second cousin’s, grandparent’s, sister? The fuck...

Do you laugh to yourself whenever the ketchup bottle farts? No, in fact, I get annoyed when other people hear it and ask me if I farted. 

Do you have any real guns in your house? I have several. 

Do you know how to use nunchucks? No, I bought a pair at one of those Asian imports emporiums, but I donated them since I never learned to use them. They were these crappy foam padded ones with dragons printed on the handles. 

Do you know anyone who can use nunchucks? No. 

What do you want to be next Halloween? In better health and not shitting bricks about using up my paid time off to go to doctors’ appointments. 

Did you ever consider getting a job as a mall Santa? No. I’d rather be one of his elves or a reindeer. 

Are you the one responsible for taking out the garbage? Yes. Grosses me the fuck out sometimes with smelly discarded poultry trays or rotten food, but somebody’s gotta do it. 

Do you recycle? My city has the blue recycling bins, but I heard that since we’re an ass-backward community, “recyclables” and trash all go to the same place. I just place recyclables in the blue bin to help clear up space in the trash bin. Maybe I’m wrong and this city does recycle? Can’t hurt. 

When I was 11, I’d collect empty soda cans to take to the recycling guy since back in the day, they’d pay for aluminum cans. That’s how I scraped up funds for dollar movies and hot dogs. 

Are you a pyro? Yeah. I carry/collect Zippo lighters but mostly because the “click-click” is satisfying to hear since I flip the lids open and closed to relieve stress. And I burn a lot of old bills and letters with sensitive info on them. 

What was the last word/thing you wrote down? I was researching high fiber foods that are also low in carbs to make a grocery and dinner meal plan. 

Sleeping or eating? After my surgery, sleeping. 

Are you overall a positive person? I try to be realistically positive, if such a thing exists. The world will never be all sunshine and My Little Ponies, but I try to find some comfort and positivity when my world is a shit-show. Filling this survey out kinda helps. 

Do you hate hypocrites? Yeah, especially the “do as I say, not as I do” types. 

For instance, a certain family member is pushing good diet and health habits, but it aggravates the hell out of me if I see him drinking high sugar iced tea or eating ice cream. Or Door-Dashing Burger King, even if it is a Beyond Whopper with a diet Coke. 

Do you like to prank people? Yes, but I do benign pranks like leaving dirty riddles and meme drawings on their front doors. 

What was the worst prank you’ve ever done on anyone? I tried fucking with a telesolicitor but I could not stop laughing. 

Have you ever jumped on a trampoline in the ice? I don’t own a trampoline. 

Have you ever ice skated? No. I tried once after a local minor league hockey game. I got the skates on, but my ankles were bending/bowing out so I changed my mind.

Ever water skiid? No. 

Is vacuum spelled funny? Yes. 

Democrat or republican? I don’t associate formally with either party, but I hitch my pony a little to the left. 

Who’s the biggest asshole you know? My former boss circa 2013. Very unprofessional and a veritable loudmouth and a poor (shit) showman wannabe. 

Pen or pencil? Gel-ink pens. 

Should all paper have holes? nope

Speaking of holes. Swiss cheese, what’s the point of that? Fewer calories? Spinning slices in my hand like a TV cowboy spinning his revolver in the trigger guard with his finger? 

Have you ever been in a helicopter before? No. 

Own any airbrushed tshirts? Nope, not even in the nineties. 

Have you ever been suspended? No. 

Have you ever been in a fist fight? A few playground fights as a kid. 

Ever said something to someone that you didn’t mean to say? Yes. 

Do you forgive too easily? I don’t think so. 

What are you listening to right now? The AC running. 

Have you ever seen any of MCR’s music videos? Nope. 

Are you tan? No. 

Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No. I have no desire to look like a Cheeto or woo skin cancer. 

Have you ever played water volley? Once at my uncle’s neighborhood swimming pool. 

Ever had a sunburn? Yes, from neglecting sunscreen re-applications or underestimating the sun. 

How about wind burn? It hurts….. Nah, I don't live in a cold enough climate for that. 

What was the first word you learned how to say? I think it was “mama.”

[komarto]

“Welcome to the Shadow Records!” (1/2)

I might have went overboard and wrote a fic to intro my OCs to the Hazbin Universe... with a spice of a reader insert! You can also find it on AO3

Summary: After falling into hell, you hired the I.M.P.s to take out your abusive ex. But they can’t seem to find him in the living world, so you have to visit the local information broker for their whereabouts.

Words: 2374

Tws: Implied/ referenced abusive and manipulative relationship, Implied/ referenced suicide

Luna: “Blitz!”

Blitzo: “Yes Luna?”

Luna: “Yeah, dispatch just came back and they can’t find the target.”

Blitzo: “What do you mean they can’t find the target?”

Luna: “They can’t find them in the living world.”

Blitzo: “Well, if they’re not in the living world, then it’ll mean they’re dead. And with all the shit that the customer says that they’ve done to them, very terrible by the way, they would most likely end up here in hell. And frankly, that’s not our job. Hell’s too big to find and kill 1 person.”

Millie: “So what now? We can’t just tell them that we couldn’t find their target, sir...”

Moxie: “What if we asked the Shadow demon, sir?”

Blitzo: “The who?”

Moxie: “Y’know, the Shadow demon that hunted down 25 demons in a month a few years back and killed them with the Radio demon?”

Blitzo: “They gave them a lame title now? Man, the people here really needs to brush up on their naming game.”

Moxie: “She’s an information broker now, has a little collection of something on everyone in hell.”

Blitzo: “And you know that how?”

Moxie: “I… might have asked her about some stuff.”

Blitzo: “Riiiight, sure. Totally not suspicious at all. Well you can give her a call or something and see what happens.”

“This is the Shadow Records, what can we do for ya?”

Moxie: “Ah- hello, um, Shadow demon, this is uh Moxie calling in from the Immediate Murder Professionals.”

“Moxie, how nice of you to call in. And please, call me Deni. This isn’t the first time we talked and you’re a nice guy. So, are the I.M.P.s having some trouble with a client?”

Moxie: “You could say that. Our dispatch team can’t find their target, so we figured that they’re already here.”

“And you need my help to find them.”

Moxie: “Y-yes. Can you?”

“Oh sure, but you know my pricing, Moxie. It’s either money, a favour, or something that I don’t know.”

Moxie: “Well... we can have client owe you?”

“Fair enough. What’s their name?”

Moxie gives the broker your name.

“I’ve heard of them here and there. I’ll have Amelie send an eye over to get them. Have the client there in 3 hours.”

Moxie: “Of course, mam’, thank you so much for this.”

“No problem, Moxie. Just a little reminder of the favour you owe me. I’ll see them soon.”

Moxie: “Yeah, I know, thanks for that… bye bye.”

Blitzo: “What’d she say?”

Moxie: “She said to have the client be here so she can send an… eye to get her?”

Blitzo: “The fuck she going to do with an eye?”

Moxie: “I don’t know! Just call the person over and it’ll get them in 3 hours!”

Blitzo: “Fine! Luna call the client over!”

(Y/N)’s POV

It’s been a few days since you’ve contacted the I.M.P.s about your request to kill your abusive ex that landed you here. In your last moments, you prayed that the Lord would forgive the sins they made you commit as you stepped off the ledge.

You guess not. It was a rather rude awakening when you found yourself in hell. You’ve only recently found the Immediate Murder Professionals from their ad, and heck, you wanted your ex to pay for what they did, what they made you do in your cursed life. Your entire life was a fuck fest of issues and bad memories from everyone around you. Your abusive parents, manipulative and controlling ex, dead-end jobs, etc...

You did your best, you really tried. But it all came to a point where you were just too tired of trying… You just hoped that karma would finally be on your side and burn everyone that has ever wronged you.

You got a call back from them telling you to be at their headquarters in 3 hours. Had they done the job? That was fast. Nevertheless, you were eager to be there on time, maybe reach there a few minutes earlier.

You reached the door to their office 15 minutes before the meeting time. You knocked on the door and the tall imp demon greeted you. “Ah (Y/N), come in come in, here take a seat and Moxie will explain everything.”

“Hey! Wha-” the shorter employee looked at him shock. “Aren’t you suppose to explain the circumstances first?”

“It was your stupid idea! Frankly, we could have just told them the problem and go on our merry way! Now go do your fucking job.” Blitzo waved at him and walked out of the room.

Your mind is filled with question. What problem? What stupid idea have they thought of and why does it concern you?

“Hey, its gonna be alright dear just listen for a minute.” Mille pats you on your shoulder and joins Moxie at his side

Moxie clears his throat. “Well, first of all, thank you for making your way here on such a short notice, I know it can be quite hard to get here for some people. Ah um, secondly, our dispatch team ran into some complications in the living world and uh, they couldn’t find the person that you wanted us to murder. Which means that they’re here in hell, which would make it very hard to find them.”

“But! But, ah, we have a solution! There’s an information broker that I know of that can help. It’s just that well…”

“Well?” you asked sceptically.

“You have to pay for their services.”

“What? I don’t have the money to pay someone else to do the job! That’s what I paid you guys to do!”

“Yes, we know! But! There are other ways to pay them, like owing them a favour or like telling them like something that they don’t know, y’know with the whole information broker deal thing. It's practically free.” Moxie explained.

“Not when I owe some creep a favour, god knows what they’ll want from me!” you snapped back at him. A muffled tapping sound could be heard from the window but you were too worked up to care about whatever it is.

“It’s probably bad to talk about the shadow demon like that…” Millie murmured as he looked shyly to the side.

Your eyes widened at her and your head whipped back to Moxie “The SHADOW DEMON? THAT’S WHO I’M SUPPOSE TO MEET?” you exclaimed.

That’s it, you’re dead. You’ve heard rumours of the Shadow demon. But in just a month or so in hell, they had teamed up with the Radio demon, a feat on its own, and had killed 20 over demons.

Wrapped them up in little bows and strung them on the overlord’s radio tower to be picked off painfully by the angels during the cleanse. Their pleads and screams were broadcasted across hell through the radios like the Radio demon’s previous plot, but never at this scale.

“Calm down (Y/N), the Shadow demon’s a nice person from what I’ve heard, she won’t hurt you if you haven’t done anything to her.” Millie assured you, her voice calm but still held a hint of nervousness.

“Shadow demon’s a “her”? Well that’s a first.” you scoffed. He, they… the rumours never got their pronouns down, but you’ve never heard anyone call the Shadow demon a “her”.

“Yeah well, she said she’ll have an eye to bring you to her. So it’ll benefit all of us, hopefully mostly you, that you follow her orders.” Moxie continues checking the clock on the wall.

You let out a frustrated sighed. “Well fuck that. Nice or not, I’m not sticking around to find out. If you can’t do the job just give me a fucking refund and we’ll be on our merry way.”

“Well no can do (Y/N), the boss already spent it on keeping the TV ad on the air.” Moxie crossed his arms.

You were fuming at this point, and that incessant tapping wasn’t making it any better. “I don’t care about your fucking jingle, I want my fucking money back if you can’t do what I paid you to do!” you hit the table under you in anger.

“Um, guys?” Millie tapped on Moxie’s shoulder as she stared to her right.

“And what the fuck is making that tapping sou-” Your complaints were drowned by the gazed of the most unsettling creature that was outside the window.

Behind the glass, hovered a single eyeball with a pink iris and a black star of its pupil. Its bat wings that kept it airborne tapped against the glass with each flap. The thing had no eyelids so it simply maintained eye contact with you as you stared back at it in shock.

“Moxie, is that the ‘eye’ that we were waiting for?” Millie breaks the silence, pointing to the mysterious but obvious eye.

“I-uh, I think so?” Moxie walks over to the window to open it and the eye bat thing calmly flies into the room. The eyeball makes its way over to you and circles over your head whimsically before flying out of the window to watch you from outside.

“It’s actually kinda cute.” Millie walks over to the window to get a closer look at it. The eye turns to watch her and gives her a light bump on her cheek before returning to stare at you.

“See, no harm at all!” Millie giggled, turning back to the both of you.

“I suppose that your cue to follow it?” Moxie nudges you.

You let out another heavy sigh and rubbed your nose bridge. You know what, fuck it. What do you have to lose at this point?

“Fine. And if I manage to come back with their whereabouts I want to see his severed head when ya’ll actually do your job.”

You exit their headquarters, not bothering to slam the door on your way out. You may be mad, but you’re not that mean... Even if this is hell. Outside the main entrance of the building was the same winged eye keeping its self afloat at your eye level. You exit the building and the eye flies around you like it did before. Its makes a full circle around you and flies off in a direction. It stops a few steps away from you before turning back to look at you, beckoning you to follow it.

You bit your lip nervously as you took the first few steps of letting the thing guide you to your potential death.

As you followed the eye, you began to grow interested in the little thing. Was it another denizen of hell or was it like one of the Shadow demon’s minions? As far as you knew, the Shadow demon could manipulate the shadows and hide in them, not eyeball minion magic.

You were also beginning to agree with Millie that it was kind of cute in its own way. As it guided you through the quiet back streets, it would turn to see if you were following and sometimes do a play full barrel roll or loop in the air. You couldn’t help but smile at its antics, your mind no longer worrying about your encounter with the rumoured shadow demon

As you walk about of the alley and onto the main road, you are met with a building with a sign that said “Shadow Records” in black calligraphy. It resembled a multi-story shophouse with a new coat of paint and traditional doors and windows that gave off a sense of sophistication and warmth, unlike most of the bar and brothel filled streets of hell.

At the entrance stood a young demon girl swaying side to side on her thin legs. She wore a pink lolita dress with white ruffles and blue accents. As you stepped closer, you could see pastel pink bandages that wrap her forearms loosely and covered her eyes and forehead. The pink almost blending in with her light pink skin, though her electric blue hair made her stand out from afar.

She does a little pirouette at the top of the stairs and stops in your direction. The eye makes a dash over to her and she lets out a musical giggle as it lands in between her two hair buns. You walk up the stairs and she greets you excitedly.

“Hi there! You must be (Y/N), the name’s Amelie, Deni’s waiting for you upstairs. Come on!” she opens the door and steps into the building.

“Um, okay?” you follow her in hesitantly. This is where you die, you guessed.

The young demon girl, Amelie, hums a whimsical tune as she skips her way up a flight of stairs with you in tow. Your first impression is that she seems to be too young to be here in hell. Then again, everything could be an act to get you comfortable and then kill you so you kept your guard up.

Seeing as how your previous companion was so familiar with the girl, and is still seated comfortably between her hair, you figured that it was probably her minion instead of the Shadow demon.

“Come on, we’ve been waiting for you.” Amelie calls to you as she skips towards a large oak door that looks like it was built of someone thrice you height. You gulped at you looked up at the scale of the door.

Amelie raps her knuckles on the door in a rhythm before opening it.

Before you sat what you could only assume is the shadow demon behind their desk with a manila folder in hand. Their red eyes glanced up at you as the door opened and you could feel their white cat-like pupils bare into your very being. It was at this point you realise that the dark wall behind was also lined with eyes that were staring back at you. In fear, you took a step back, ready to make a mad dash for the exit.

A soft laugh reached your ears and you turned to see a muscular reptilian leaning against the long desk look at you with mirth in his black sclera and turquoise eyes.

The Shadow demon speaks up. 

“Hello (Y/N). Welcome to Shadow records.”

[whatsthenameofthisgame]

Intergalactic Interrogations (II)

"Where am I?"

[What do you mean?]

"Instead of just sitting there moving blood all day, and failing roughly might I add,- Are you recording this conversation? That's disrespectful, I'll have you know we started learning binary and ridiculous little facts about your friend. I don't know who raised you wrong,"

[Hey.}

"I'd- {emmited} have you forget. Speak English numb for brawl! *maybe there is a slap here*"

["Go to the top 10 close or near you everywhere you go that you consider the smartest people in the world & become their best friends foreverest...," I drawl out every one of my answers like a disgusting fountain, yet they aren't happy with any of them. To think it all could have started with a scared girl asking me what I know and warp through timespace paranoia, or that quantum mechanics has caused this all to be real.]

"Here's (apparently) what living sages do they write all of the time. And they secretly don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about them."

[I'm listening to someone write the show for me, I don't always connect parts of my brain with other parts so well, but when I don't its's because I'm completely mental that I can make things out as other sounds.]

"He inserted apparently over us. What a dick head."

[I was writing before this as well. Get ready for another roundabout of Intergalactic Interrogations]

["How would you describe this, Fake Judas(2) what kind of situation do we have here? Remember, I'm made to forget and then reremember again."]

"It's very logical. It's simple. You have to have a Marine Corp mindset in infilitrating the cause."

[I am both afraid and completely unafraid of what I am doing. To be afraid of this silly game would be ridiculous and stupid. On the other hand he's been learning from me as I learn from him-]

"He's been completely thinking ridiculous things over what we're saying. He's a whoremonger." ""IT IT,"" maybe demons scream, but I am untethered from the boulder like a chain beneath the ocean, the weight simply presses into the sand. The fishes swim around as I wander in my drowning to the top where the ship is safe in the sunlight.

[On the other hand- quantum questions pose like prose, possessing possibly -  I ignore FakeJudas(2). It is hard to keep up with everything. I need a writer still. I turn to Affiliate. Please have Alliteration do her thing without guiding us into rap for hours on end again, thank you very much. Affiliate looks confused and furious, for I often thought he was on the wrong end of the job spectrum ever since our staycation in the fire bird land of no sounds, place of the falsified Gods, faces in the spaces, The Devil's home of Peter's ignorances ... Anyway where was I? It is really hard to keep up with everybody and everything. There is a whole plot line, that I feel truly matters, and we are all missing it for the amount of activity going on in all of your heads while I've got mine. Is it mine? To start. Or are all of these conversations I'm tapping into the way of the real brain. Every particle of water an ocean? Every idea a world of thought? I already thought so. It isn't time for creative freedoms. I think we are supposed to focus on my suicide. For the sake of suicide. "Aha! Where we were last standing, one of the better reasons why I have roses elegantly and unevenly tattooed on my fingers. They're both cocked and one is in my mouth outright, while the other is at you. It was in your hands, and I gave you the tools necessary to save it. Save your belly aching. Every bit of paranoia, was it real, or were you trying to induce it? Save it for the masses. I know it's always a little bit of both. And that the most obvious answer is usually the truth. Variety is the best spice- and I'll have at my dad's pizza with way too much spice, for the loving good Grace from which Moses parted the water of life into place, (I am making a Tokyo MewMew joke that is a bit elongated) the V for which has He, Friends With Time, Drawer of Lord Excalibur when I actually love myself, rainbow gay pride I've forgotten uniciorn chapter books volume one and two powers activate!) *I start to turn, /now I am not paying attention to anything as I mash jokes into my own life story./

"This is what we paid for. This is disgusting filth. Think you can handle it?"

Think you can handle it? Would Filthy Frank even read this shit right here? We didn't even pay for all of these references. We're just hoping we get so many more people on team blue than team red so that we're able to just diss the suing right out of the waters like a lotus. Hah! Get that. I'm named after water so I'm doing water jokes. Listen, kid. I have heard a lot of jokes from the demons. You really don't want to start with me. I'm trained to accept them as a compliment, which I was saying back before we were all *I'm channeling Filthy Frank's voice in a ricefields sunhat visor right here* simple and shit. Now they are even trying to insult me with compliments and it's working. Listen, you never did knew that evil was good and proper and right. There was a new face of evil on the block, and it was the face of a genius sociopathic borderline child.

"Oh my God, You really do think like you're God."

[Guess what. Bitches, I have Autism so I cannot understand the emotional connotation in your words. Knowing that, I interpret it as fast as crazy, which is why no sweat because I also know that sometimes that's exactly what you're doing. Meaning I think of many ideas and crap. Your every thought could come to me like an intellectual process. I have no way of being.]

"Do you think you're special? Stay on topic please, I've seen we've gone a little socio today lady."

["I am silent. All is the same in my canoe which is made of wood and has travelled from hell through the underground rivers to the open and vast, great sea. Cold, or hot, shivering or sweating, thirst or hunger, war, famine, fire, flood, I know that I must and can navigate through it and 'round, 'round again, for this canoe and its lantern was tethered to my soul, it was tethered to my idea of neutral state meditation through chaotic forces. I was the canoe, one could say. I was the ship. Or the wood. The wood which came from the tree. Maybe The Tree. A Tree of Time, careful creature, making friends with it. And as the tree, and with brainwaves being like a tree, and all things one in the same, I made a hollow for those beyond to perch before they fade to worlds-"]

"This is artinery, itternerary(?) Get to the point."

[Often what I say, I sort of contribute to ghosts and other things.]

"This is what we get out of you? Jesus. (What are you, Santiago?) What happened to the sainthood?"

["Indeed I am Santiago, Another one of my many names, Dare ye say it, (Which they didn't.)]

"Look at what this kid is thinking of completely loaded. I think that maybe it is hilarious. Or perhaps all his excuses for crap."

[Indeed that all of this content was now filler. JENGA was on hiatus since the before times. We cannot remember those Interrogation Negotiations. But they were amazing. We have screenshots of half of them and had to delete the better half because they were too good and terrifying. We will try to interpret the rest of them someday (soon?).]

[The prophet wasn't just an excuse I made up. It was A Dream. A Dream that one day we will live not by the color of our skin, but by the confusing and complex mental makup which propels us towards the best future for us evolutionarily. Forget about that, everything. Like you have made me, by my words, let us start from the beginning.

Two systems learning from each other causes complex interactions to occur, especially when both have different and unfair advantages over each other. One could say each part of the brain that makes up the whole is its own complex system.]

"Stop talking about them to other people. I hope they rot for what they did to those people."

[Here is a classic bit where I have the chance to explain how either The Devil or The Enemy (FakeJudas2) Might try to make me look like the culprit. Reverse Psychology. It works on me. Which is why my card is chaotic. I don't want you to know what I'm doing, and if you do, then why should it matter what I do? It seems the whole world knows and yet no one knows. God knows what nobody feels like, because he is like us, we are made in his image. If I am nobody, he is nobody. So nobody knows just as well enough as anybody knows. But in both parts give or take, there are still bodies. Lot's of bloody and mutilated bodies which The Enemy has made of my Friends' & Loved One.]

/I take le break/

Depending on how serious JENGA gets, we have to use different members of the army through me. How did we get here, how is this all possible. It is a really meaningful story with lots of science, but we do not have infinite time. I will try to get to that at most.

"What about your boyfriend,"

["For the sake of Einstein, for the sake of proving you can go from Autism to full-blown socio, that realizing the brain works in the way that it does, and that it is all of your faults for being stupid assholes. It my fault for being a stupid asshole. And God is My Judge. Not You."]

"So, are you planning on telling him about any of this, or do you not know how important he is?"

["For the sake of insanity, genius is found."]

"Are you still completely avoiding the question? And how is it that he knows we're watching him for? Does he complete God in the blood?"

[Some things I do not understand. Or remember, or reitterate well. Catch me on drugs. Dattebayo! *flashback* Dattebayo was where it all started. The ten men, pandora's box, the stories, the puzzles, the lands across, the signs, a single time fine dining, and it is also there but not completely all-there.]

"So dattebayo was where it all started, huh? How embarrassing for one so wasted on the regular."

["Never giving up. Dattebayo. Believe it." "How about the story of the modulators some more? Before or after they were modulators? I have many stories to entertain you."]

"even when the conversation is all dead he has a way of going more crazy." a girl chimes in "He's probably been listening to what we are saying and considering it as JENGA."

he continues "Tell me a story to entertain me, that is what I am here for, give me a wild ride, show me some lude-icrous, something more, vivid, that shows me your kind of ideal lifestyle."

["You sounded like the villain in Tarzan for a second there. Well that's me, Tarzan. Me. Need. Jane. Didn't think I could play her. Rub the mud on my face, ask my monkey mother why I am not like them, she says to wipe the mud off.]

"I'm getting more curious, about what you're doing... you can write more than pages, you can write a book."

[I have, it's something I've always been working on. I've written loads of books, just lost, unpublished, deleted... How about I get really high and have someone speak through me now that we're getting down to the odds and ends. Let's get to the nitty-gritty of it. Once you find a way to constantly market off of things that might bother you, you have struck gold my son. The idea however, is to make them better, not worse, so they have a reason to last through the ages. Easier said than done...]

"He/She talks like an old wheezer. They can't- Can they hear me? Can they hear over our conversations? *plethoras of someones' breathy Oh my Gods" over everything. That means they know we're here, they can really hear us! Good job,"

[Did the dialogue switch into a ghosts' narration? It is hard to tell without any figures to watch with my eyes, and the words coming with systems built into a natural Ouija of my own. I won't literally raise hell again, yet... it is always tempted. And must be avoided. We're stepping too close to stories of old. The quantum questions must be pressed. Think harder. I don't know what it is you're thinking, I'm only typing. I am a genius if we aren't psychic, and a numbskull for God if we are All One.

The modulators can be set to different configurations, and put into different settings and events to see the initial outcomes in a module. At all of the Modulators worst configurations, M for their last name is capital. A good example of perfect awful configurations is religious reenactments by a family module within my own person. One's nature is that of a dads', Two is that of a moms', Three is that of a sons', four is that of a daughters', And the configurations always leans towards the predominantly biased neutral algorithyms.

Too much math, too may graphs to come, not sure how to organize it all, so we will have to say, partay.]

"So it feels like you're being taken advantage of by everything." my best friend asks me as my mom may also paranoidly be bothering my brother about me in the distance because I am typing so fast in the middle of the night.

[We've has this conversation before, so it's GroundHog day, only bigger, it's a show.]

"That's what we've been trying to tell you, You should write a show instead of bothering, us."

["Where is Jeremy Todd Ewbank?" I am the horseman, or headless, all the numbers, and the dungeon master because we currently already have a dab master, so you can Direct Message me the answer, Because I'm the Daniel Manual you've been looking for.]

"Jeremy Ewbank is not with us anymore. He's literally done. He can barely breath from your shit."

[The interrogations go haywire as soon as they begin again. Which one of us is being interrogated. "What happened to Jeremy Ewbank. Don't make me rhyme a hundred things with master in a bad rap. Aye, you know that gurl was my princess. You know, we know, we would never let go of or throw away one another, so where is he, *I put an invisible gun, but because I have written this, I will always be paranoid of them. We have to avoid them.

Evacuation Strategies: Red dots: Fun if you're a cat, dangerous if it is a gun. Shrodinger's Gun.

I take a break from interrogations because of laziness and lack of drugs. "JENGA," I claim, and the imaginary tower falls. How to explain a thing about creative manifestation to you, about all of the wild possibilities? So hard, I'd rather play Nintendogs for three hours.]

This is breaking bread with thine enemy

[raptorfiction]

Gangster’s Paradise

“Look, it ain’t that kriffin’ difficult to figure out!” The last bit of Rochayl’s patience had been worn away at last. Normally, she liked to keep a cool head--was better for business. But as she dropped the piece of flimsiplast on her desk, she threw that ideology out the window. “You get the goods, you ship the goods, you get paid for the goods. How the KARK did you mess that up so badly?! WHY am I missing out on a good quarter of a million credits? HMM?! Can anyone explain this to me?!”

Her cybernetic eye flashed a dangerous red as she watched her men shuffle in front of her, avoiding eye contact with her and each other. Their silence only made her temper rise, she had expected some sort of half-assed excuse, anything that she could call them morons for and then be on her way. Instead they sat there like guilty children in front of their mother. Rochayl’s hand curled into a fist and before she could help herself, she had chucked whatever she had in her grasp at the nearest goon’s head.

The muted thunk that accompanied the object’s collision with the man’s skull sated her anger a fraction, but she was still seething. What these morons failed to understand was that it wasn’t just their necks on the line. As a Boss for the Black Suns, if word got to the upper echelons that she not only lost product, but credits as well… her neck might not be attached to her body much longer. The situation was precarious and she’d be damned if she was going to be hung out to dry because of some dipshits falling for one of the oldest tricks in the book.

“Pick him up!” The cranial collision had caused the Devaronian to fall to the ground, groaning in pain. Instinctively the two standing goons reached down and dragged the man to his feet. “Now this is how this is going to go. You three are going to find a way to get me double what you lost and if you don’t? Well… you can be the ones to explain to the higher ups why we lost their product.”

The trio mutters disjointed, affirmations and apologies together, making it nearly impossible for her to understand what they were saying. The jumble of words and phrases only succeeded in irritating the woman more, resulting in another object being flung at the fools. Like frightened mice they immediately scattered and made their presence scarce.

Once they were long gone out of her sight, Rochayl sunk into her chair, massaging her temples. Some days this job was more trouble than it was worth and she found herself questioning whether or not she should just throw in the towel. The dilemma had begun to thoroughly churn in her mind so much, that she had barely noticed the figure standing in the doorway.

“Ma’am…”

“Rael, what is it?”

“The report you requested.” The Kaleesh made his way over to her desk, placing a new piece of flimsi in front of her.

“Faaaaaantastic.” She drawled, still clearly stressed from her previous conversation. Picking the sheet up, she began to read over the text, scowl and stress deepening with every moment.

Rock,

While I appreciate your generous offer, I sadly am inclined to refuse. You see, I was offered a much better deal by the Exchange and to be honest… I don’t think you can deliver. Especially after what happened with your most recent shipment. Half a million credits? I can’t risk that happening to my merchandise.

No, I think I’ll be sticking with the Corellian Run gang and the Exchange. Good luck though with your bosses. Hate to see that pretty head of yours on a spike.

-Zandu

“....Rael.”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“How does he know about the spice incident?”

“My sources say that he likely had a hand in the incident.”

“... I see.” She tossed the piece of flimsi down onto the desk, lacing her fingers together. For a few long moments there is nothing but silence in the office. Dutifully, Rael stands silently, awaiting whatever command his mistress might give. “Rael. Do we know where Zandu’s warehouses are?”

“Of course. I have already drawn a list of the warehouses in which our supplies are most likely to be.”

“Fuck the supplies.”

“Ma’am?”

“Where is his biggest warehouse? I want to know everything about it. Where it is, what it contains and what security it has lined up and I want to know it by the end of the day. Is that understood?”

“Yes ma’am. I’m already on it.” And without another word, the Kaleesh slips from the office to carry out his duties.

“Make a fool of me, will he? Let’s see how it feels to have the situation reversed…” A snide smirk slowly broke across the woman’s face.

*************************************************************

Rock stood with one leg propped against the building’s parapet, overlooking Zandu’s warehouse. The vantage point was good but Rock wanted a better look. She hoisted herself on top of the parapet and knelt down, allowing her cybernetic eye to do the initial scan of the area below for her.

“You’re sure all the information we have is correct?”

“I’d stake my life on it.”

“Oh good, because it’s on the line. As is mine.” She looked over her shoulder to give Rael a smarmy smirk before looking back down at the building in question. “Do we have everyone in place then?”

“We do.”

“Right. Then the operation is a go. I trust you to keep me abreast of any changes and let me know if I have any bogeys incoming.” She hopped off the parapet and walked over to Rael, placing a hand on his arm.

“I won’t let you down, ma’am.” The Kaleesh gives a bow of his head, placing a hand over his heart.

“Better not..” She gives him a small smirk before removing her hand and moving once again to the building’s parapet. Taking a moment, she secures a good anchor for her line before giving a brief, two fingered salute to her right hand man and rappelling down to the warehouse.

The instant Rock’s feet hit the ground below, she breaks herself loose from her line and dashes into cover. Out of the corner of her eye, she notes several of her own men doing the same, scurrying to hide themselves amidst the shadows and behind objects. She nods her head, pulling her blaster from its holster at her hip and taking a deep breath. Adrenaline had begun to kick in and her heart was pumping furiously in her chest.

Normally missions like this were left to Rael and a few capable men that she trusted to get the job done. Not today. This was personal. Looking up, she flashed the light in her false eye three times at where Rael should be perched, waiting for their signal. And as expected, he was. The sound of his voice cracked across the comms units they all had in their ears.

“Phase one completed. On to phase two. Team Aurek, your task is to eliminate droid patrols. Uploading corresponding information to your datapads. Team Besh, you are to serve as cover for Aurek. Any missed or unaccounted for patrols are under your jurisdiction. Team Cresh, your task is internal security. There are two security stations located at the east and west sides of the building respectively. And Team Dorn…” Rock gripped her pistol tighter, Team Dorn consisted of her and only her. “Your task is to eliminate any witnesses that don’t belong to us and secure the cargo.”

“Simple enough…” She thought to herself. It didn’t look as though there were going to be too many passers by in the area, probably exactly why it was chosen.

“On my mark… Begin.”

Without a second’s hesitation, Rock emerged from her hideaway and scrambled over several trash bins to get at a ventilation shaft nearby. With a jump, she was just barely able to get her fingers over the ledge.

“Now for the fun part…” She muttered to herself as she began to slowly hoist herself high enough to slip her torso into the opening. Easier in theory than in practice. Inside she could already hear blaster fire from droid patrols going down and she cursed at herself silently. Finally though, after pushing herself, she managed to slide into the shaft and began to worm her way through the duct.

The sounds of droid combat had moved location and instead of near the entrance, was now directly below her. Pausing in her progress, she stopped to steal a peek at the commotion through a slotted vent. One of the patrol droids had gone down, but not before it had issued an alert to others in the area. The team of four men was about to become overwhelmed and the mission would be put in jeopardy if they failed their assigned task.

Thinking quickly, Rock kicked out the panel she had been spying through and dropped directly on top of one of the droids. The unexpected action caused the machine to whirl about frantically, trying to throw her off but Rock kept a vice like grip. Hearing the distressed signal emitted from their ally, the other droids quickly rounded on Rock and began to fire.

The mayhem gave Team Aurek a chance to retaliate, eliminating two right off the bat. Their metal bodies clattered to the ground, but not before damage had been done. Though she had managed to keep her grip on the flailing unit, a blaster bolt had managed to sear a hole in Rock’s shoulder. Somehow she had managed to keep herself from crying out in pain, but her ability to continuously dodge blaster fire was starting to wane. With a limited amount of options left, she swung her body weight around so that her droid became a shield against the other droids, taking a volley of fire and becoming subject to death by friendly fire.

As she and the droid tumbled to the ground, Team Aurek found the opening they needed and disposed of the remaining units. Cursing loudly, Rock shoved the metal chassis off of herself as her men rushed to her aid. Rock cursed at them, shoving them all away as she reached for her blaster which had fallen from her grasp during her maneuver.

“Fuck off. There’s work still to be done. If there are no more droids, go check to make sure our ruckus didn’t catch the attention of unwanted guests.”

“Yes ma’am!” With a snappy salute the team scattered, checking to see if they were going to have any issues with the locals.

Rock swore under her breath a few more times before moving on with her task. The lifter droids were lined up not far away, her first stroke of luck for the evening. Rushing over, she hopped on the top of one and began to reprogram its delivery protocol. She hardly noticed the sound of blaster fire and combat as she worked, at least until a bolt flashed past her face close enough to singe her skin.

Hissing with pain she stopped what she was doing and unholstered her blaster, taking cover behind the rather sizeable droid. With calm even breaths she waited, waited until she saw the culprit round the corner…

And his last mistake. Slipping out of cover she took aim and fired off a few rounds straight for center mass. A scream and a thud was confirmation that he’d been hit and scurrying over, she took another two shots at his head. Just to be safe. There wasn’t any time to spare however as the sound of more incoming rabble echoed through the building. Rock cursed, the conundrum with the droids must have sent an alert to nearby security personnel. She’d be having a word with her men later.

Rolling into cover, she checked the reserves on her powercell and made herself ready to fire at whoever came her way. Clicking her back teeth together, she switched the thermal vision in her eye on, not that it would help her see past crates and powered-down droids, but it would help her see through the dark and off to the distance where normal sight simply wouldn’t cut it. Cautioning a look around her cover spot, Rock scanned the area to see how many she’d be up against.

It took longer than she’d have liked, but she managed to tally the total to ten. Ten men against one woman. Well, she was never one to follow the odds and if she was up against ten men, well… that was ten times the amount of bragging she could do at the next ‘family’ meeting.

Slowly, silently, she creeped her way to a vantage point above the thickest cluster of security and waited. Just as they had moved into position and she had gotten a good aim, shouting from the other side of the building caught everyone’s attention. Quickly Rock swiveled her sights to the area the wailing was coming from in an attempt to gauge what was happening. Her thermal scans fell upon a lump on the ground that was quickly losing heat--a body. Just as she had locked her sight onto the lump’s wailing comrade, it too became a lump, the heat starting to ebb from its body.

“Stay away from the windows…” She checked herself mentally as the men below her began to shout at one another frantically. While the sniper had done her a solid in taking out two of the guards, without knowing who it was, she couldn’t take any chances and so she chose to wait, watching for what the gaggle below her would do.

Finally they decided to split, two going to check out the site of the ruckus while two remained behind. As much as she hated to admit it, the odds were looking a lot better from Rock’s position than they had been just moments before. Before they could walk out of her line of fire, she threw together a poorly-devised plan and decided to go for it.

Just as before with the droids, Rock dropped herself from her perch, a good three meters above the guards. Luckily she had managed to aim herself properly before hand, landing square on one of the men’s shoulders, snapping his neck and collarbone as he collided with the hard permacrete floor. The landing was hard and pain shot through Rock’s legs, but she didn’t have time to focus on it. Whirling about quickly, she took aim and shot the second guard point-blank in the face before he had time to recover from surprise.

“That was… poorly planned…” Rock let out a groan of pain as the man fell to the ground, the sharp, pulsating sting of her landing radiating through her legs and pelvis. She had fallen back onto her landing pad and while she was certain he had died from his impact with the ground, she placed the barrel of her blaster at the base of his head and fired a round. Just to be safe.

There was no time to relax however as the sound of shouting began to echo throughout the warehouse again. Stumbling to her feet, Rock began to hobble towards cover when the body of a guard fell into her path. She stopped, whipping her blaster up, ready to fire at whoever was about to round the corner.

“Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!” The figure rounded the corner, hands held up in surrender. Upon closer look, the man was one of her own though she didn’t lower her weapon.

“About kriffing time you dipshits showed up.” With one fluid movement she brought the side of her weapon crashing across his face. “You might have warned me it was you! That is unless you enjoy being pistol whipped and shot.”

“But… you didn’t shoot me…”

“Oh. Let me correct that.” Lowering her blaster, she took aim and released a bolt into his foot. “Now shut your fucking hole and cover me while I work on these droids.”

Rock didn’t wait for the whelp to stifle his wailing before making her way back over to the lifter droids to pick up where she had left off. Her temper had been pushed to the limit and anymore interruptions or mistakes was likely to end up poorly for someone. So she set about her task, finally managing to reprogram the droids. Powering the droids up, she placed a finger to her ear, activating her comms system.

“Team Dorn reporting. Task complete. Proceed to extraction zone.”

“Copy Team Dorn. Headed to extraction zone.”

Grabbing the collar of the man she injured just a few moments earlier, she began to drag him towards the exit.

“I swear to the gods of all the species, if you don’t start walking on your own I will leave you behind and make sure they can’t extract any information from you.”  

Whether it was her threat or the sight of the rest of the team, Rock didn’t know or care. All she cared about was that she didn’t need to drag a useless clod along with her. That was another thing to add to the list of things she needed to talk to her men about. Freed of dead weight, she made her way to the wall she had rappelled down and waited for Rael to show.

Without a moment to spare, the sound of a speeder hailed the approach of the Kaleesh. Rock hardly waited for the vehicle to come to a pause before hopping onto the back and signalling Rael to take off. As was always the case with Rael, Rock’s order was carried out as soon as it was given, the pair speeding away into the busy streets of the main city. The ride was silent, save for the roar and hum of speeder engines.

Rael had learned over the years that it was better to let Rock be when she was in that sort of mood than to try and get her to talk about it. It wasn’t that he had no concern for her, it was that he knew she would speak with him about it when she was ready and to force it out of her would only end poorly. And so he kept his silence, speaking only once they had reached the rendezvous point.

“Ma’am.”

“Yes, I know. Make sure everyone is here. If that moronic, gimping lump hasn’t arrived yet, give him another fifteen minutes before putting a bounty on his head.” She grumbled, hopping off the speeder with some difficulty. The ache had sunk deep into the tissue and every movement was very near agony.

“Dead or alive?”

“Alive.”

“Of course.” Rael swung his leg over the speeder himself now, dismounting the vehicle and whistling the signal for everyone to gather. “Do you need assistance, ma’am?”

“I’ll be fine until we get to the ship.” She gritted out. The last thing she wanted to show to her men was weakness of any form. Some would begin to think there was an opening and try to overthrow her. While she was confident that she could thwart any half-cocked attempt to usurp her, it was just another irritation she didn’t need.

“As you say.” With a small bend of his waist, Rael paid his respect to his leader and marched towards the assembled men, barking out orders as he approached.

“As I say…” That was one of the many things Rock had grown to appreciate about Rael. He never questioned an order unless there was a need. He respected her pride and her authority equally and knew better than to fawn over her. In fact, not once had he ever gone so low as to kiss her proverbial ass, preferring to earn her favour by hard work alone. Rock let out a small chuckle at the thought and immediately regretted it as her shoulder suddenly seared with pain.

Shaking it off, she composed herself as she marched towards the neatly lined up squad. Patiently she waited for Rael to finish taking note of who was all present, skimming over the list when he had finished.

“All accounted for.”

“Good.” She handed the pad back to Rael and took her spot in front of the assembled, pacing back and forth in front of them with her hands neatly folded at the small of her back. “Tonight was a mess.” She frowned, pausing her pacing. “And you can believe that there will be a severe dressing down of the way things went tonight. Some of the issues I can and will take blame for. However…” She stopped and stared them all down with a glare that could freeze over hell itself. “Now is not the time to deal with this. We have cargo to load and injured to tend to. Chop chop.”

Immediately the crew dispersed, hurrying to gather the loot the loader droids had delivered so nicely. With the work underway and the speeches done, Rock took a deep breath inwards and began to hobble her way to the loading ramp of the ship. It took all of her effort to keep herself from limping in front of her men and only once she was securely locked away in her own room did she allow the facade to drop.

  With a relieved sigh she sunk into the plush embrace of her ship’s mattress only to groan in pain as her various injuries protested. The wound in her shoulder was perhaps the worst she’d sustained, though it did feel like it. She knew she had to tend to the injuries sooner or later, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it at that moment. Even had she wanted to, her body wouldn’t let her rise from the position she was in and so she just lay there, eyes shut, attempting to block everything out.

She had nearly accomplished it too, when the buzzer on her door went off. The sound snapped her abruptly out of her meditative like trance and she groaned again in pain. Again the buzzer went off and she tried to sit up, but her pelvis would hear nothing of it; so she laid there as the buzzer went off for a third time.

“Ma’am?”

“Come in Rael.” Rock heard the door whoosh open, heard Rael’s footsteps as he entered the room and heard him curse in Kaleesh as he rushed over to her. “Is the door shut?”

“Of course it is.”

“Then please help me up…” She groaned again as she attempted to sit once more, this time with Rael’s aid. The Kaleesh cursed a few more times as he stepped away to recover the first aid gear he had dropped when he entered the room. “Those aren’t nice things to call someone, you know.”

“Wouldn’t have to call you them if you took care of yourself better.” He hissed out a sigh as he began to prepare a suture.

“I take care of myself just fine, thank you.” She grumbled, looking off to the side as though she were a child that had just been admonished. “And you know as well as I do that I can’t show them any sort of weakness. All I need is for them to think they’ve got an opening and suddenly there’ll be mutiny left and right.”

“They won’t get the chance.” Rael’s voice had taken on an venomous tone as he spoke the words.

“I could do without you wiping out half of my men. Imagine what that would look like--”

“To whom? The Vigo? Or the SIS?” Golden eyes were now locked on to hers, narrowed in irritation. All work at preparing kolto and sutures had stopped and his hands sat at his side, balled into fists.

Rock stared at Rael with a look surpassing surprise. Her eye had widened to nearly double its natural size and she could feel her heart slamming inside of her chest. A suffocating silence filled the room for what felt like an eternity before finally, she spoke.

“You… know.” It wasn’t a question. Had she done a poor job at covering her tracks, at acting like a gangster? Rock’s heart plummeted in her chest, a feeling of nausea began to wash over her.

“Yes, I know.” Rael’s voice had fallen into a more gentle tone, prompting a bemused look from Rock. “Honestly, how long have I been at your side now?”

“Five… six years now, I think?”

“And in all that time, as close as I’ve become to you… did you not think I would find out?” Even with the mask covering his face, Rock could tell there was a genuinely confused, almost hurt expression on the man’s face.

“I had hoped I was doing a good enough job of covering my tracks.” Her shame and defeat coloured every word she spoke. What kind of a failed agent was she? She’d be recalled now for certain.

“You were.” Rael’s words caused her gaze to snap back up to meet his again. “Honestly, all I had to go on was gut feeling. Because I know you, I know how you are. You could have lied to me and I’d have been forced to believe you because I have no proof.”

Rock knew his words were meant to comfort her, but they only worsened her mood. She should have lied, denied the allegation, anything to keep her secret to herself. Mentally she cursed herself again for being such a failure as an agent, for not being able to lie when the situation required it. Why couldn’t she lie to him? She had become so lost in her self deprecating thoughts, that the gentle touch of Rael’s hand on her shoulder startled her.

“Rock..” There were those golden eyes again, looking into hers as if seeing into her soul. “You could have lied to me, but you didn’t. I don’t know why and I don’t care why but I need you to know something.” Lowering himself to one knee before her, he bowed his head. “On my honour as a man of Kalee, I will never betray your secret. Should I ever divulge what has transpired here in this room today, may I never join my ancestors and become a God.”

Rock’s hands trembled as Rael spoke. She didn’t know all that much about the Kaleesh and their customs, but she knew enough to know that what he had swore to her was more binding than most things in the universe. Letting out a long, over due sigh, Rock placed her hand over her face. The nausea had started to recede and her heart’s beating began to slow once more.

“I… wish I knew what to say.” She finally managed to stammer out.

“There isn’t anything you can say.” Rale stood and returned to the table where he went back to work preparing the kolto. “Just know that for as long as you will allow it, I will remain by your side and let no ill befall you.” He paused for a moment before hastily adding, “Well.. beyond the few odd injuries you’re likely to get on the job.”

“Ah yes. The injuries.” She shook her head. “Nice shooting today, by the way.”

“Oh?”

“I’m assuming you were the sniper that took down those guards.”

“What makes you think that?”

“The window was facing the wall we came down from and…”

“And..?”

“You were late with the speeder.”

Rael paused his work again to turn and blink at her.

“I was… huh. So I was. I’ll work on that next time.”

[rudimentaryrecollections]

The Quiet Site 22 July – 27 November 2018

I caught the bus to Penrith the next day. There were heaps of cool young looking people gathering at the train station there organising to go to Kendal Calling, a music festival nearby. I took a bus to the Brackenrigg Inn, overlooking Ullswater in Watermillock.

Peter, Emily’s boyfriend picked me up. He was  a mad redheaded dude with a bushy beard, more chilled out then even me. He was to train me in the coming weeks. He set me up in my caravan and showed me around, introducing me to the other staff and the owner of the campsite, Daniel.

We had some drinks at the campsite pub that evening. I was on form and charmed the other staff easily. But I was hungover when I started work the next day. The work was simple enough however, and despite my worries I quickly proved myself a hard and capable worker there. All were pleased, and I was offered ongoing employment.

It was cleaning work. The brunt of it was cleaning the glamping accommodation - Tipi tents, pods (wooden tents) and Hobbit Holes. That, and the toilet and shower block. And I worked the occasional bar shift at the Quiet Bar. I was nervous before my first bar shift, and gulped spiced rum before it started to try settle my nerves. My main anxiety was that I would be too quiet working at the Quiet Bar! That I would not have the charisma and personality I thought a bartender should have. I needn’t have worried. Just being polite and able to fill empty vessels with liquids was enough. And in time the rest came naturally.

In my time off I quickly explored the surrounding area. I explored the meadow paths and climbed Little Mell Fell, which our campsite sloped down from. I hiked to Aira Force waterfalls and got lost coming back, following sheep trails that wound through bracken ferns as tall as me. I cut over the Gowbarrow Park fells in the cloud, found the path again and drudged back to camp with sodden boots. A hot tea and shelter had never felt so nice.

I hiked the Ullswater Way, a path that went around the lake, and wild camped at Sandwick Bay.

I finally got a National Insurance number after an overnight trip to Newcastle, where I had to go to a government jobs centre to prove my identity.

I read a pocket-sized book, in the Collins Gems series ‘Kings and Queens.’ It detailed the known history of kings and queens of Scotland, Wales, Ireland and England. In doing so, it provided a brief history of these countries. I found it most fascinating, and ordered more books from the Gems collection. I bought books on trees, mushrooms, edible food, survival and the weather.

I worked to improve my natural knowledge. Collecting plant and fungus specimens, and identifying them with the aid of my books, and further online reading where needed.

I added nettle to my curries, elder berries to my porridge. I feasted on blackberries, foraged for blueberries and collected crab apples. Wild comfrey replaced parsley from the shops. This fresh food supplemented what food I could get for free from the camp store, canned beans, rice, pasta, cheese and the likes – to a point where I was eating quite well for free.

I was being paid more money than I could spend so I started saving. Things were going quite well for me but I was missing some companionship. I booked flights back to Australia for a two month trip over December and January. There would not be much work at the campsite over winter, and I wanted to see friends and family.

Companionship

In the first few months I would occasionally have drinks with some of the staff, but this disappeared as the site got busy and our work schedules overlapped. I was enjoying hiking and animating and living on my own, but at times I was getting lonely.

I was messaging Kim a fair bit but she had no interest in visiting England, as she was saving for a trip to New Zealand. I was using tinder but the options were limited in my area. And I was unwilling to travel far to meet someone.

I met a woman, Lucy, five years older than me at Aira Force on one of my days off. I had made some hummus and brought some beers my boss had given to me (which had been left on-site by a guest). I basically counselled her for two hours as she figured out what to do with her life. She had been travelling and now was had the option to move to Italy or to London for teaching positions.

It wasn’t really the date I’d dreamed of, I guess I was hoping for a hookup like I’d had a few time when I was backpacking. When she decided to go home to Carlisle we said farewell and she thanked me… And I said, “You owe me…” Why did I say that? I knew she didn’t owe me a thing. I felt dark for having said it. Strange… I walked upstream, a way back I hadn’t been before. I was in a dream like state.

On the top of Gowbarrow Fell, I found magic mushrooms. I put them in a bag and examined them more closely when I got home, researching thoroughly online to ensure they were what I thought they were. I dried them out and stored them in a jar in my larder.

We had a good team at the campsite of about a dozen and I got along with everyone. One day, as I was cleaning, the owner’s son George came to me looking mortified. “I just went to clean the bell tents… but I forgot which ones needed cleaning. I went into thirteen, because there was no car out the front. And inside there was big fat bald guy fucking his wife. Both stark naked. I said sorry, sorry, and came straight here….” Young George went home early that day.

The Saucy Sausage

There was a catering van on site which did breakfast and dinner. It was called The Saucy Sausage. Staff ate free. It was owned by a middle-aged Geordie man named Nigel. He was very friendly but could be quite brash. In my early days at the campsite he was moving houses, and I helped him with some heavy catering fridges. He gave me his two cents on the campsite and the area. He said it was beautiful but not much of a party or social scene. I told him I was looking for this kind of place, I needed a break from drugs and alcohol. We kept talking and he told me about some big German guys he’s once hosted. They were known as journeymen. They were stonemasons, and came from a village where young men, after being apprentices were sent out into the world to be journeymen. They were to travel and work for nothing more than food and shelter and not use the internet or mobile phones, in order to learn how their craft is done in different places and to learn the value of their work.

We moved the fridges and I noticed he had a short temper – never aimed at me but just in general. Afterwards he gave me 30 quid, which I hadn’t expected… Not bad for two hours work. I couldn’t help feeling nervous around him from then on however, like I had to be on tippytoes around him. Meditation and alcohol alleviated these feelings however.

One evening when he saw me at the campsite he invited me to a reggae gig. An English band, Zion Train. In ten minutes I was in his car. We went to the pub for a few where I met his wife and their friends, a couple from Glasgow. We got rip roaring drunk and as Nigel drove us to the Art Gallery beneath a radio tower where they were playing we drank strong gin and tonic from a plastic bottle and I felt like I was a teenager again. When we got there they distracted the ticket collector and I snuck past them without needing to pay.

Needless to say I bought the first round. And when the band started I danced my pants off. Nigel kept bring me beers through the gig and when I went to get a round I was quiet sloshed and got bottles of San Miguel instead of the draught ale we’d been drinking and Nigel got upset and I told him to bloody cheer up it’s not worth getting upset about. After the gig we went back to Nigel’s and I sipped some whiskey and discussed current events and philosophy with him and then I slept on his couch. I had a splitting headache in the morning when he drove me and his daughter to the Quiet Site. They opened up The Saucy Sausage for breakfast and I lay down for an hour before my cleaning shift started.

Fantasies in the Dark

I set out late one afternoon with my camping gear. I ate some mushrooms and was intoxicated them as I made my way downstream at Aira Force in the dark. I was trying to meditate, and walk without a torch, and it was so very dark. I felt like the forest wanted me to fall and fertilise the soil for its roots. I stumbled across a circle of short wooden seats, about waist high. They looked like they were for elves. My mind went to imagining things. I set up my camp under a yew tree nearby. I’d had mushrooms before and enjoyed them, but I’d come to an unfamiliar environment, in the dark, under the influence of them which was unwise.

I imagined I had to appease the elves to stay a safe night here, so I went and left a boiled egg in the circle of chairs as an offering. As I lay in my camp, all sorts of delusions went through my head, fantasies of elf councils in the dark, of their malevolent attitude towards me. And I snapped out of it. Realised these were all fantasies I was creating, and felt silly for leaving the egg down there. But it was not just this fantasy I broke out of. But other fantasies, stories I told myself about myself and others in my day to day sober life, for as long as I could remember. I meditated and honed my mind. What you think is not real. What you believe is real to you, but you can choose what to believe. And what you believe is only real to someone else if they believe it to. So choose what you believe wisely, and manage your thoughts. I slept the mushrooms off, I was not enjoying them that night. I’d taken them hoping to have some spirtual epiphany.In the morning I went to the circle and ate my egg I’d left to the ‘elves’ for breakfast. And so I’d lost my superstitions. It was near the gardens and the bottom of Aira force where other wooden artworks were.

I walked to Glenridding and boarded the steamer. I got off at Howtown and climbed up Hallin Fell. I got the steamer to Pooley Bridge and walked home.

Second Thoughts

In September I went down to London for a second screening with flucamp. They’d wanted me to participate in a clinical trial for months but the dates hadn’t worked for me to take time off. On the way down I visited Camilla in Manchester. I met her at a bar in the university area where she was photographing a psych-rock evening. I drank and met some of her friends and she wandered round, photographing and seeming to know everyone so I left her to it really. She introduced me at one point to Lucio, the monthly psyc-rock gig organiser from Sicily who was a bit standoffish when I told him I met Camilla through tinder. He liked her.

Camilla and I left to meet some of her other friends in a nightclub called Gas. It was a young gay couple Kurt and Mattias and their female Liverpudlian companion Jodie who was also somewhat standoffish with me. Her and Camilla got touchy and I got shy, but then Jodie called me good looking and Camilla put my hand on Jodie. So they were lovers. And it was strange… I was shy and a bit uncomfortable but I was consenting if Jodie was... But she was really drunk and must have remembered something that happened to her as she started saying how bad men were so I went to get another drink and sat across from them as Jodie seemed distress. Kurt and Mattias were fun gay guys and witty and cracked jokes to lighten the situation and secretly told Camilla and I that Jodie had been a handful tonight and was the drunkest they’d ever seen her.

So we went back to Camillas and drank red wine Jodie was really drunk and stood there swaying so I made room on the couch for her and she sat down and was being somewhat abrasive to everyone. Camilla rolled a joint and it was passed around and I said no the first time because I couldn’t have weed in my system for the flucamp screening and besides weed tends to disagree with me these days but there was a part of me that wanted to sabotage my chances of getting into the trial. So when it came back round I had a light puff on the joint and it was soothing.

Camilla made Jodie a grilled cheese sandwich and then she was sick so Kurt and Mattias took her home in a cab. Camilla and I hooked up for a bit but were exhausted and fell asleep. The next afternoon I caught the bus to London.

When we stopped at a service station I saw ten quid fall to the ground and a man walking away from it. “Excuse me!” I caught up to him, “you dropped this.” I gave him the tenner and he looked taken aback and as I walked away he checked his pocket and realised it had fallen and his face lit up with this random act of humanity and he gave me his thanks.

In London I checked into the hostel and had a quiet night. The next day I went to the screening which took about two hours. I struggled with the spirometer test technique but was signed off on.

I was paid 100 quid and reimbursed my travel expenses for this.

I bought a single malt whiskey and sipped it in my hostel room. I prepared some dinner and gulped some more whiskey. I made small talk with some people. An American girl was cooking kale with coconut oil and bragged about how healthy it was. I told her it’s full of saturated fats and they use it to induce obesity in lab rats. She got defensive and I told her to read the nutrition info but she was brainwashed and refused to believe me. I got really mad about it because she was friends with everyone there and I seemed like the bad guy. So I left and was mad in my room. Clearly I was caring too much about things. My head was spinning. I’d drank the whiskey to make myself chatty because I wanted to meet people… but it is silly to gulp whiskey. It’s a drink meant for sipping.

Sharp Edge

Time moved on at the campsite and the weather cooled as the winds from the Atlantic became more consistent. I worked and hiked and ate and slept and tried to meditate from time to time and work on my animation. On a clear day I asked Peter to drop me off at the bottom of Blencathra. I was to hike up along Sharp Edge, a steep ridge scramble.

I wasn’t the only one walking up the knife edge ascent. Many came up and down, some with sure-footed canine companions. And the views were awe inspiring. Why wasn’t I doing this more often?

Competent Crew

I took a week off to take a five day sailing course in south Scotland. In Largs I met the instructor, Alis, a Czech yacht master. The other crew were Rob, a retired farmer was doing mile-building in preparation for his yacht master testing. Chris, a middle-aged teacher from Elgin was there to complete his Day-Skipper course so he could skip for school trips. Matt, a 23 year old junior doctor, a prodigy was also doing his Day-Skipper. They all had experience sailing one man dinghys or crewing sea-going yachts. I was the only newby, doing my competent crew to learn the ropes.

I did my best to to try to learn but most of the attention was given to those doing their day-skipper course, so for a lot of it I just had to watch and learn and participate where I could. I was given the helm a couple of times each day and Alis guided me.

There was a lot to go through, a lot to learn. Too much information, but I’m sure a lot of it soaked through. How to moor the ship, how to shape the sails, right of way on water, Coriolis effect, knots,

At times I felt like deadweight, the others got to doing the things as they knew how to do them while I tried to stay out of the way. I was not often shown how to do things as they got to it and so I had to ask, yet I can be a slow learner for practical tasks and often there wasn’t time for me to practice so they just did it. And it is tight knit on a ship, I was always around other people, which wears me down, I need time alone. So I’m not sure if life at sea could be for me.

But it was a pleasant trip. A great way to travel, and see places you would never see otherwise. From Largs we sailed to the Isle of Bute, and harboured at Rothesay. From there we sailed to Tarbert. Chris informaed me there are many Tarberts around the British isles, all named by the Norse, to indicate a narrow piece of land where vikings would land their ships and roll them to the other side on logs  - to avoid treacherous water or reduce the time of their voyage.

We sailed to the Isle of Arran, stayed again in Largs to fuel the engine and went back to Bute, spending our last night at Port Bannatyne.

We drank beer and played pool and darts celebrate the end. Alis met us for pub dinner. I had halloumi battered like fish and served with chips, and we stayed on for dessert. Everyone had passed their course. Chris and Matt would receive RYA certification as day-skippers, allowing them to charter yachts in coastal waters. Rob had miles added to his logbook, needed to be certified as a yacht master. And I would get a piece of paper saying I completed the competent crew course. My first taste of sailing. I drank up.

A group of locals cleared the dining room as we finished our meal and started setting up their instruments. They met here every Thursday to play Scottish folk tunes. A dozen of them started up with all sorts of instruments and voices. And onoxious drunk man with his guitar often interrupted, strumming out of time or trying to shout the song over the singing. The village idiot. Matt and I wondered if he was autistic. But talking to the locals we just learned he was an arsehole. At the bar Rob had a word to him and he left, and the music was better for it. A short man in his sixties drank stout from a bottle next to us. He’d lived in Rothesay all his life and worked as a steward on the ferry to the mainland.

He got up to dance and sing one song. Everyone began stomping their feet and singing the chorus and for a moment I felt blissfully jovial and at home. The song was ‘Doon in the Wee Room’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-uQat7OodE The room reverberated with the merriment of the singers and audience. I was down in that wee room in my mind, drinking and laughing life away.

We were up early with headaches. All but Alis, never drinking on the job. We returned to Largs, doing a man overboard exercise with a floating buoy on the way. We parted ways on the dock.

I was in two minds about the trip. For one, it was a brand new experience, I’d seen some great new places. On the other, while I’d learned a lot, I felt far from competent as a crew member, alongside four experienced sailors. If anything, I left knowing how incompetent a sailor I was. C’est la vie.

Lisa

I’d matched with Lisa on tinder in Cumbria, but she lived in Galloway, on the other side of the border. We texted for a while and eventually met up in Carlisle. She was Dutch, but spoke English with a Scottish accent. She loved Scotland, and wanted to live there for the rest of her life.

We met at the train station and walked over to Carlisle castle. We climbed a maintenance man’s ladder onto the castle walls and walked along them, watching the city go by. A ladybird strolled along the walls where we stood for a while. A grim place, we decided.

We had to climb down as the ladder had gone when we came back. We explored some more then went for a pint. We walked to the train station in a hurry. She bumped into a guy she knew who was with a girl and they chatted for a bit and then her train was leaving so she left in a rush and I didn’t think it went so well, but she texted me saying otherwise the next day.

A couple of weeks later I met Lisa again and had a great day. We met at Annan, near the Scottish border. There we followed the Annandale Way, a river path, to Hodom Castle. Well, Hodom Castle caravan park. The castle grounds were a campsite. The castle was in disrepair and entrance was blocked. We climbed into the castle yard, used for caravan storage, and had a picnic there. A ladybird rested on a blade of grass nearby.

When we were done we kissed but I had a runny nose so I stopped it. We walked back to Annan as the sun fell, hoping to hitch a lift but being unsuccessful. We held hands and trod on and it was alright. In Annan I had a pint and she a whiskey, at two different pubs. I really started to like her. She lived in her broken down van at an outdoor activity centre on Loch Ken, where she also worked. A similar situation to me, so we understood each other. We understood the great beauty of living on natures doorstep, and yet the isolation that came with it.

We had a proper kiss on the station platform, and with warm hearts caught trains headed in opposite directions. The last bus from Penrith had long gone when I got there, so I trekked home in the dark, and the warmth in my heart remained.

Wandering what to do

I had four weeks before my trip to Australia and was counting the days. I was lacking variety in my work, and longed for warmer weather. Lisa would be too busy to meet again before my trip. So on my next day off I hiked away with my goretex coat full of food, water, a torch, a map and a knife. I was hoping to reach Helvellyn, the highest peak in the area, but the days were getting very short. I hiked past Aira Force toward Glenridding. I had mushroom tea in a jar and I drank it when I turned off the Ullswater Way and followed a sign post that pointed toward ‘Seldom Seen.’ It was there I saw red squirrels for the first time in England. Seldom Seen indeed. I continued up and up and the weather was good and I reached a pass and could see Helvellyn. But it was late so I turned in the direction of Sheffield Pike and reached the summit. And it was magic. The future the present and the past swirled around in my mind and my thoughts were turbulent.

I found my way down to Glenridding and bought some beers and waited for the bus. The moon was high and full and bright and reflected off the lake as I walked back to the Quiet Site. When I got back to my van I felt great and alive and wanted to do something fun but it was the quiet site so I quietly listened to music and went to bed.

Winter Droving, Camilla’s Birthday

The next day I got up late and had a beer. I knew it was Camilla’s birthday so I messaged her wishing her a happy one and she invited me to her party that night.

I caught the bus to Penrith where the Winter Droving festival was being celebrated. Once it was a harvest style festival where the farmers drove their livestock through the village. There were people in fairy tale costumes and troll outfits roaming around town and the whole thing had a very paganistic vibe. There were market stalls and I drank mulled wine and Irish cream and roved around. There were two stages with great local bands, reggae, dub, psych-rock, alt-rock, celtic folk, ska. When it was dark the parade started. Giant animal shaped lanterns were paraded by different crews of masqueraded men and women who had competed in various competitions throughout the day – such as the pint carrying competition. I drank bitter from a can and when it was over I caught the train to Manchester. At the station there was a woman with her friends ready for a night. Fake tan, short skirt, singlet. I had three layers, a shawl and an overcoat on. She was visibly shaking from the cold. I almost offered her my shawl, but the train came. I would lose my shawl later.

On the train I ate a lot of cheese and bread and nut and a wrap and some fruit and drank beer. Then I opened a mindfulness app and meditated for an hour. If I was to party, then I ought to prepare my body and my mind.

When I got off the train my mind was in the right place. This is the place it should be before any recreation. I’m here to have a good time. I walked to her neighbourhood and called her as I did not know her exact address as she’d moved. I waited in a bar with free wifi and drank soft drink for the sugar kick and hydration. Eventually she messaged me back and I walked to her house. Inside I met her house mates and her friends and some familiar faces from last time. I put a case of beer in the fridge and started on the separate six pack to bring me up to their level.

It was fun. Everything seemed fluid. I drank and ate tapas and talked with Kurt and Mattias and newcomers. A guy wandered around with a wig and a silk dressing gown. I sat with Andy for a while, a local who lived in the flat and watched the madness go by. People carried on. A racist neighbour yelled at complaining about the Spanish at the party. I talked and talked and everyone was sloshed.

Camilla offered me some MDMA she’d been given as a birthday present. It looked clear to me so I had a bump. The euphoria and love came. And the time jumps. I’m sitting chatting. I’m on the balcony with Kurt and Mattias, my arms around Camilla, her touchy as a joint is passed around. I’m with Liz, the half-American half-English with a shaved head and wig. There’s no beer left. I get out my bottle of emergency port. There’s another gay couple there with ket and I have a bump. And I was in that dream like universal connectedness state where everything felt alright and everything happens was happening and will happen for a reason it’s nature feel the comfort and relax and enjoy this moment. A group of us sit passing the bottle of port talking all sorts. We all love and appreciate each other even though most of us are relative strangers to one another. There’s pockets of Spanish speaking Spanish, Galicians speaking Galician, and English speaking English. And everyone speaking English.

It’s a small apartment. I’m tired. Everyone is gone but Liz and I and Camilla. Liz goes to sleep in Camillas room. Camilla is all but asleep on the couch trying to roll a joint. I tell her not to bother we’re both practically asleep as it is. I put my shawl over her and I join her on the couch, using my coat as a blanket. It is broad daylight when I wake. I stumble outside to find a toilet, delirious, and remember I’m in Manchester so I wander up the stairs to the bathroom then collapse back on the couch.

I wake and drink two litres of water and plug my phone in to charge with the help of a Galician man. When I wake again I am well rested and feeling surprisingly well. Still dreamy but very content and not feeling ill at all. I gather my things and when I go to leave Camilla is on the couch so I kiss her farewell on the head and she looks like she’s seen much better days and I know she must know where my shawl is which I can’t find but I’m happy for her to have it, may it serve her as well as it’s served me.

I get to the train station and sit on the platform while I wait for the train. A worker comes up and asks me if– “Are you ok man?” I say, “Yes, I am going to Penrith.” He tells me when the train is expected and says I just wanted to make sure you’re ok. I reassure him I’m fine. And I was. I’ve never felt this content with everything the day after a party. I guess I achieved my goal, to have a good time. It was nice of him to ask though, I’m glad there’s guys like him working at train stations.

In Penrith, I missed the last bus home, and trudged contentedly home for 3 hours. I was at peace as I walked over fields and through forests in the fading light, listening to ambient music.

Four weeks pass by peacefully. I go to the local pantomime, an English Christmas time tradition. Owen, the bar manager at The Quiet Site wrote and directed it. The play fit with Owen’s character, being a gay conservative man. In pantomine tradition is was full of double etendre, quirky costumes, lewd jokes, audience interaction and musical numbers. The play was set in Roman Britain and compared the resistance to Roman rule in with Brexit.

[wetrumpfeed]

Afternoon MAGAthread: YOUR WEEKLY PRESIDENTIAL RECAP!

GOOOOD AFTERNOON DEPLORABLES!

Welcome to your weekly recap of all this spicy and dank from the past week! If you happened to miss any past recaps you can catch those here!

Sunday, June 16th:

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Congratulations to great guy Pete Hegseth and wonderful Jenny Cunningham on their engagement. They will have a fantastic life together! @foxandfriends

Yesterday was the Radical Left Democrats big Impeachment day. They worked so hard to make it something really big and special but had one problem - almost nobody showed up. “The Media admits low turnout for anti-Trump rallies.” @FoxNews “All around the Country people are....... ... .....saying enough. Democrat voters want to hear the politicians talking about issues. This is a huge distraction and will only help Donald Trump get elected.” @JedediahBila “Greatest President since Ronald Reagan” said a counter-protester. LehighValleyLive

A poll should be done on which is the more dishonest and deceitful newspaper, the Failing New York Times or the Amazon (lobbyist) Washington Post! They are both a disgrace to our Country, the Enemy of the People, but I just can’t seem to figure out which is worse? The good..... ... .....news is that at the end of 6 years, after America has been made GREAT again and I leave the beautiful White House (do you think the people would demand that I stay longer? KEEP AMERICA GREAT), both of these horrible papers will quickly go out of business & be forever gone!

Happy Father’s Day to all, including my worst and most vicious critics, of which there are fewer and fewer. This is a FANTASTIC time to be an American! KEEP AMERICA GREAT!

Video

Thank you PM @Netanyahu and the State of Israel for this great honor!🇺🇸🇮🇱

When will the Fake News Media start asking Democrats if they are OK with the hiring of Christopher Steele, a foreign agent, paid for by Crooked Hillary and the DNC, to dig up “dirt” and write a phony Dossier against the Presidential Candidate of the opposing party......... ... ......If Republicans ever did that to the Democrats, there would be all hell to pay. It would be a scandal like no other!

Almost 70% in new Poll say don’t impeach. So ridiculous to even be talking about this subject when all of the crimes were committed by the other side. They can’t win the election fairly!

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “I think we have a very real risk of losing the Presidency to Donald Trump.” I agree, and that is the only reason they play the impeach card, which cannot be legally used!

Congratulations to Gary Woodland in winning the United States Open Golf Championship. Fantastic playing, great heart - there will be more in Gary’s future!

Thank you Mr. Prime Minister, a great honor!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Let's not forget what this piece of shit did, with the corrupted assistance of Kim Foxx and Kamala Harris.

Holy shit, boys, Hercules is on our side.

Happy Father’s Day!

This post is for the fathers who can't be with their families today.

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Dad’s are the best!!!

You must be a Republican

I have no words

You son of a bitch

Monday, June 17th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Nominate and Appoint Individuals to Key Administration Posts

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Big Rally tomorrow night in Orlando, Florida, looks to be setting records. We are building large movie screens outside to take care of everybody. Over 100,000 requests. Our Country is doing great, far beyond what the haters & losers thought possible - and it will only get better!

Only Fake Polls show us behind the Motley Crew. We are looking really good, but it is far too early to be focused on that. Much work to do! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

"Iran to defy Uranium Stockpile Limits”

One size doesn’t fit all - I support West Virginia Schools. Keep up the great work, @WVGovernor Big Jim Justice - I am with you!

.@FoxNews Polls are always bad for me. They were against Crooked Hillary also. Something weird going on at Fox. Our polls show us leading in all 17 Swing States. For the record, I didn’t spend 30 hours with @abcnews, but rather a tiny fraction of that. More Fake News @BretBaier

Next week ICE will begin the process of removing the millions of illegal aliens who have illicitly found their way into the United States. They will be removed as fast as they come in. Mexico, using their strong immigration laws, is doing a very good job of stopping people....... ... ....long before they get to our Southern Border. Guatemala is getting ready to sign a Safe-Third Agreement. The only ones who won’t do anything are the Democrats in Congress. They must vote to get rid of the loopholes, and fix asylum! If so, Border Crisis will end quickly!

Thousands of people are already lined up in Orlando, some two days before tomorrow nights big Rally. Large Screens and food trucks will be there for those that can’t get into the 25,000 capacity arena. It will be a very exciting evening! Make America Great Again!

The story in the @nytimes about the U.S. escalating attacks on Russia’s power grid is Fake News, and the Failing New York Times knows it. They should immediately release their sources which, if they exist at all, which I doubt, are phony. Times must be held fully accountable!

Wow! The State Department said it has identified 30 Security Incidents involving current or former employees and their handling of Crooked Hillary Clinton’s Emails. @FoxNews This is really big. Never admitted before. Highly Classified Material. Will the Dems investigate this?

Only a few people showed up for the so-called Impeachment rallies over the weekend. The numbers were anemic, no spirit, no hope. More importantly, No Collusion, No Obstruction!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Thug shoots someone 5 times over a car, steals car, goes on Facebook bragging about how cops aren't going to do shit about it, US Marshals get a federal warrant, he rams their cars, pulls a gun, gets shot and killed…yet liberal morons in his home town defend him, riot and injure cops.

State Department identifies 23 violations, 'multiple security incidents' concerning Clinton emails as a part of ongoing investigation

Three months after being admitted to Harvard Class of 2023, Harvard has decided to rescind Kyle Kashuv’s admission over texts and comments made nearly two years ago, months prior to the shooting.

It's going to be crazy once it's all declassified along with Hillary's frazzledrip

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Kevin Sorbo is one of us

WHAT IS THEIR PROBLEM LADS?

I actually have this fetish where I'm the only one in bed with a dick and/or beard.

The official summer hat came today, and it's brighter than the sun reflecting off 5,000,000 liberal tears!

Tuesday, June 18th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

Seven Nominations Sent to the Senate

President Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Nominate and Appoint Personnel to Key Administration Posts

President Trump Delivers Remarks Upon Departure

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Mario Draghi just announced more stimulus could come, which immediately dropped the Euro against the Dollar, making it unfairly easier for them to compete against the USA. They have been getting away with this for years, along with China and others.

European Markets rose on comments (unfair to U.S.) made today by Mario D!

The Fake News doesn’t report it, but Republican enthusiasm is at an all time high. Look what is going on in Orlando, Florida, right now! People have never seen anything like it (unless you play a guitar). Going to be wild - See you later!

Had a very good telephone conversation with President Xi of China. We will be having an extended meeting next week at the G-20 in Japan. Our respective teams will begin talks prior to our meeting.

“ECB officials see Rate Cut as primary tool for any new stimulus.” @business

German DAX way up due to stimulus remarks from Mario Draghi. Very unfair to the United States!

Acting Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan, who has done a wonderful job, has decided not to go forward with his confirmation process so that he can devote more time to his family.... ... ....I thank Pat for his outstanding service and will be naming Secretary of the Army, Mark Esper, to be the new Acting Secretary of Defense. I know Mark, and have no doubt he will do a fantastic job!

Departing for Orlando, Florida with @FLOTUS Melania!

Join me LIVE tonight in Orlando, Florida at 8:00 P.M. Eastern as we kickoff #Trump2020. Enjoy!

THANK YOU ORLANDO, FLORIDA!

Together, we are breaking the most sacred rule in Washington Politics: we are KEEPING our promises to the American People. Because my only special interest is YOU! #Trump2020

On no issue are Democrats more extreme – and more depraved – than when it comes to Border Security. The Democrat Agenda of open borders is morally reprehensible. It is the great betrayal of the American Middle Class and our Country as a whole! #Trump2020

In the ultimate act of moral cowardice, not one Democrat Candidate for president - not a single one - has stood up to defend the incredible men and women of ICE and Border Patrol. They don’t have the character, the virtue, or the spine! #Trump2020

Don’t ever forget - this election is about YOU. It is about YOUR family, YOUR future, & the fate of YOUR COUNTRY. We begin our campaign with the best record, the best results, the best agenda, & the only positive VISION for our Country’s future! #Trump2020

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

POTUS is here!!!

Based Japanese

I couldn't agree more Matt. Rules for thee and not for me

This is going to be epic! Trump may live-tweet first 2020 Democratic debates

Astonished: CNN cut the President's 2020 reelection rally speech after the crowd started saying CNN sucks. I have never seen anything like this in my life.

PRESS BRIEFINGS, INTERVIEWS, RALLIES:

MAGA Rally Watch Party: 2020 Campaign Launch. Orlando, FL 6/18/2019

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Man... if only...

When that 2020 vision kicks in.

"You're just a FUCKING WHITE MALE !!!" REEEEEEEEE

831am. Orland Trump Rally. They moved our line closer to front of venue. Thank goodness for our shade structure.

ah yes, the "racists", let's show these folks our love !

Wednesday, June 19th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Donald J. Trump Announces Judicial Nominees and United States Attorney Nominee

Vice President Pence Visits the USNS Comfort

President Trump Presents the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Arthur Laffer

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

THANK YOU! #Trump2020🇺🇸

The Dems are very unhappy with the Mueller Report, so after almost 3 years, they want a Redo, or Do Over. This is extreme Presidential Harassment. They gave Crooked Hillary’s people complete Immunity, yet now they bring back Hope Hicks. Why aren’t the Dems looking at the..... ... ....33,000 Emails that Hillary and her lawyer deleted and acid washed AFTER GETTING A SUBPOENA FROM CONGRESS? That is real Obstruction that the Dems want no part of because their hearings are RIGGED and a disgrace to our Country!

DEMOCRAT CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS ARE #RIGGED!

If I didn’t have the Phony Witch Hunt going on for 3 years, and if the Fake News Media and their partner in Crime, the Democrats, would have played it straight, I would be way up in the Polls right now - with our Economy, winning by 20 points. But I’m winning anyway!

So sad that the Democrats are putting wonderful Hope Hicks through hell, for 3 years now, after total exoneration by Robert Mueller & the Mueller Report. They were unhappy with result so they want a Do Over. Very unfair & costly to her. Will it ever end? Why aren’t they....... ... ....asking Hillary Clinton why she deleted and acid washed her Emails AFTER getting a subpoena from Congress? Anybody else would be in jail for that, yet the Dems refuse to even bring it up. Rigged House Committee

I will be interviewed LIVE tonight by @seanhannity on @FoxNews 9 P.M. Enjoy!

Just returning from Orlando and Doral (Miami), Florida, and heading to the Oval Office, where I will present the great Economist, Dr. Arthur Laffer, with the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Congratulations to President Lopez Obrador — Mexico voted to ratify the USMCA today by a huge margin. Time for Congress to do the same here!

Since Election Day 2016, Stocks up almost 50%, Stocks gained 9.2 Trillion Dollars in value, and more than 5,000,000 new jobs added to the Economy. @LouDobbs If our opponent had won, there would have been a market crash, plain and simple! @TuckerCarlson @seanhannity @IngrahamAngle

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

IN HONOR OF 1 YEAR WOMPIVERSARY WOMP! WOMP!

Must watch video. Democrats BTFO by Burgess Owens. “I used to be a Democrat until I did my history and found out the misery that that party brought to my race... Let's pay restitution. How about the Democratic Party pay for all the misery brought to my race".

Trump campaign rakes in stunning $25M in single day for re-election launch

I Haven't Seen POTUS This Emotional With Any Other Person in His Administration. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, SARAH!

I hope alex jones bankrupts every single one of these media Arseholes! Link in comments

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

lol

🤦 "America's Border Is Just Like A Concentration Camp!" 🤦

No brakes on this train (2020 version)

This is MAGA country

Exhibit “A” from the Trump rally last night.

Thursday, June 20th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

Ivanka Trump Visits North Carolina with the American Workforce Policy Advisory Committee

President Trump Participates in a Bilateral Meeting with the Prime Minister of Canada

President Trump Welcomes Prime Minister Trudeau of Canada to the White House

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

S&P opens at Record High!

“The President has a really good story to tell. We have unemployment lower than we’ve seen in decades. We have people who stopped looking for work coming back into the labor force. We are in a record growth period.” Michael Steel @MSNBC (do you believe?)

Iran made a very big mistake!

It was my great honor to host Canadian Prime Minister @JustinTrudeau at the @WhiteHouse today!🇺🇸🇨🇦

S&P closes at Record High!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

SHOCK: TIME Magazine finally did a normal cover of Trump.

-Jussie Smollett fabricated a story about white guys assaulting him with bad words and the Media made it the biggest story in America. -White college girl is violently raped and beaten to the point of unconsciousness in a racially motivated attack and the Media ignores it.

Letter from a Polish parliament member to ocasional Cortex

Never listen to the polls, follow the $! Vegas odds are Trump even $, Biden +425.

New York County Clerk Is Refusing To Give Driver’s Licenses To Illegals, Despite New Law

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

I don’t care who you are that’s funny

The kid makes a good point 🤔🤔

Answer: NO

SO BRAVE: Speaker Pelosi just announced that "she's going in!" and is about to read the unredacted Mueller Report, WHICH SHE HAS HAS ACCESS TO IN A CONGRESSIONAL 'SCIF' FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS—SO BRAVE, Nancy! You fraud!

If Trump debates Biden, I hope he invites all the girls Creepy Joe has sniffed to attend

Friday, June 21st:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump and The First Lady Participate in the Congressional Picnic

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Just revealed that the Failing and Desperate New York Times was feeding false stories about me, & those associated with me, to the FBI. This shows the kind of unprecedented hatred I have been putting up with for years with this Crooked newspaper. Is what they have done legal?... ... ....”This Russia Collusion Hoax was perpetrated in part by people inside the government, and in part by a compliant (Fake News) media.” Mollie Hemingway. @TuckerCarlson @foxandfriends The facts are starting to pour out. Stay tuned!

President Obama made a desperate and terrible deal with Iran - Gave them 150 Billion Dollars plus I.8 Billion Dollars in CASH! Iran was in big trouble and he bailed them out. Gave them a free path to Nuclear Weapons, and SOON. Instead of saying thank you, Iran yelled..... ... ....Death to America. I terminated deal, which was not even ratified by Congress, and imposed strong sanctions. They are a much weakened nation today than at the beginning of my Presidency, when they were causing major problems throughout the Middle East. Now they are Bust!.... ... ....On Monday they shot down an unmanned drone flying in International Waters. We were cocked & loaded to retaliate last night on 3 different sights when I asked, how many will die. 150 people, sir, was the answer from a General. 10 minutes before the strike I stopped it, not.... ... ....proportionate to shooting down an unmanned drone. I am in no hurry, our Military is rebuilt, new, and ready to go, by far the best in the world. Sanctions are biting & more added last night. Iran can NEVER have Nuclear Weapons, not against the USA, and not against the WORLD!

Video

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

GOP chairwoman: If Obama called off Iran strikes he would get Nobel Peace Prize

Trump Hits Highest Approval Ever in USA Today Poll, But USA Today Doesn't Report It

IT'S HAPPENING!

Feminist HBO Writer Says It’s OK to Call Black Columnist a ‘Coon’ Because He’s Against Reparations. Daily reminder that Big Entertainment is part of the larger Culture War and hates your guts if you stand against their complete dominance over culture

BREAKING: Special Prosecutor Assigned to Investigate Entire Jussie Smollett Case

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Just wait till they read the Qura'an. If they can read at all.

That girl is extremely sexist and misogynistic

Two GOATs

💲 $25 Million In One Day! 💲

Saturday, June 22nd:

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

The people that Ice will apprehend have already been ordered to be deported. This means that they have run from the law and run from the courts. These are people that are supposed to go back to their home country. They broke the law by coming into the country, & now by staying.

When people come into our Country illegally, they will be DEPORTED!

Stock Market is on track to have the best June in over 50 years! Thank you Mr. President! @WSJ

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Study Finds 92% of left-wing activists live with their parents

President Trump Nominates Army Secretary Mark Esper as Defense Secretary

Waking up and seeing this as the first story on my FB.....Damn, what a wonderful start to Summer

President Trump delivers remarks before departing for Camp David

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

“Inform the Senate that Daddy’s battlestation is fully operational.”

Found this on 9GAG

Worst Hitler ever

Damn white people are their.... shuffles deck... eating healthy!

WEEW LAD!

Without further ado, some tunes to get you jamming through all this winning:

Lone Digger

My Boy

It's Strange

you should see me in a crown

Drop The Game

MAGA ON PATRIOTS!

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