#@ her ex’s dad — leave her the fuck alone challenge she didn’t do shit

[bambino1294]

So the killer has made himself known through a message on a box of shoes — sir pls get out of Bong-Hui’s office, thanks

What have I gotten myself into lmaoo

[thran-duils]

Dubious Representation (P.4, Final)

Title: Dubious Representation (Part Four, Final) Summary: Fem!Reader x soft Dark!Hank Palmer. Reader’s husband is facing jail time and although Hank Palmer entered the counsel for pro bono, he is still going to get a form of payment. Recently single, he’s been lonely and he’s looking for some comfort. Even if it means obtaining it from less than savory means. Words: 3,110 Warnings (for entire fic): Eventual smut, sexual coercion, infidelity, mention of past domestic violence, verbal abuse

Part Three || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Hank came downstairs, buttoning up his dress shirt. You looked over your shoulder from where you were making breakfast, something you had gotten accustomed to when you stayed over. It was relaxing. He was right about one thing; you did love to cook. And it was nice you had someone who actually seemed to appreciate it rather than taking it for granted. Not to mention, his kitchen was top notch, and his fridge was always stocked cause he gave you the money to do so.

He caused you to pause for a second as he grabbed your shoulders to hold you while he kissed your temple.

“Morning, doll,” he spoke against your skin before he pulled away. “Did you sleep well?”

“Mhm.” You always did on his expensive mattress. Especially after he wore you out.

You finished up and made up two plates. Turning around you found him at the island, clicking away on his phone. You placed his plate in front of him, him thanking you, and slid onto the stool next to him.

He swore under his breath and tossed his phone down before he started eating.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“Lisa is being a bitch as usual.” He held a lot of contempt for his ex-wife.

“I’m sorry.”

“Nothing for you to be sorry about.” He took another bite and eyed you. “I’ve got Lauren this weekend again.”

You made sure you were away when she was there. He never made you feel like you had to be but the few weekends he had with her since you had started seeing him, you made yourself scarce.

“Good. You haven’t seen her in a while,” you told him, and you meant it. It had been a couple weeks. “I need to clean my apartment too, so this is good.”

“You don’t gotta go home.”

You shot him a look at that and saw he was staring at you with purpose. You swallowed your bite and forced a shrug. “It’s okay. It’s good you guys have time alone together.”

“We don’t have to always be alone together,” Hank said, taking another bite. He shrugged in turn now, fixing you with another intense look. “I’ve thought about you moving in.”

That was unexpected. And all you could muster was, “Oh.”

“‘Oh’ what?” He sounded like he was going to get on a combative route.

You rested your hand on the counter, meeting his eyes. “That… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? Explain it to me.”

You blinked. How did you explain how wrong you felt about falling into another man’s bed so soon? The same day Rich had left, you were back with Hank. Not that you had not slept with him before then but… and how guilty you felt about your feelings for him? His relationship had already been done and had been for a while. You were moving on without a consensual party who had no idea what was happening outside their jail cell. No matter how free you felt since you were not afraid of what kind of mood Rich was going to be in when you got home, there was still history.

“It seems too quick.”

“It’s been six months.” Hank grabbed the jug of iced tea you had placed on the counter and began pouring you and him glasses.

“A lot of people would say too quick.”

“Rich is refusing to see you when you have gone to visit. I don’t think it’s quick enough we make this more serious.”

He sounded bitter about the Rich comment. When you had told him you were going to visit Rich in prison the first time, Hank had been frigid. And then the next two times, he was still bristled. And he had had a “told you so” attitude about it when you came back mopey because he was right about that: Rich refused to see you. He would walk in and see it was you at the table and turn around and walk back through the door.

“Don’t you think?” Hank continued as he finished pouring the iced tea. “You are already sleeping here half the week. It’s a waste of money for you to keep the apartment.”

You chewed on your bottom lip. The apartment was yours now. Something you had not had to yourself for years. But you felt more comfortable here.

“I guess when you put it that way,” you said.

He saw your resolve crumbling and he capitalized, leaning on his arm to come closer to you. “Then what’s the issue?”

“My apartment—"

“You know. I brought it up to come to the point to just tell you: Don’t worry about it. I’ve already contacted your building manager about paying off the rest of the lease. You had only four more months left so that wasn’t a huge expense. You need to sign the paperwork though.”

“Hank!”

“What?”

“You didn’t even ask me. And they just spoke to you about my lease when you’re not even on it?”

Hank waved you off, “You’re getting distracted. Did you wanna keep living there with no AC in the summer and then shitty heating in the winter? And that carpet was atrocious in the halls. Do you not like my house?”

“I like it. A lot.”

“Then again, let me ask, what’s the issue?” You had nothing to say, and he grasped your hand. “Doll, all you need to do is go pack up the things you want to bring here — I’ll get you boxes — and then the rest of it we can send to the thrift shop. AND—" he rose his voice as soon as he saw you were going to protest, and you closed your mouth. “The other stuff — you know things of his — we can ship to his next of kin.”

“His parents.”

“Good. They can inherit it. Just like they’ll inherit him when he’s out.”

You let that sink in for a couple moments before you realized a way out of being here while Lauren was here. ��Well, then I should go to my apartment this weekend to do that…”

Hank looked impressed for a split second before he agreed, “I suppose so. But I want you available on Saturday morning. You don’t have to stay here but we are going to the botanical gardens and then getting lunch. I want you there. Is that fair?”

It was a type of compromise, a rarity.

“Yes.”

He had still gotten his way. As usual.

<><><>

Lauren was a sweet girl, eleven years old. She was headstrong just like Hank, and you had to smile watching them go back and forth about their opinions. She was going to be a force to be reckoned with.

When she got you alone for a moment, she was watching you closely.

“What’s up?” you asked, trying to hide your unease.

“I told my dad that daddies don’t get lonely when he asked me who I wanted to live with when they were getting divorced.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. They move on quick.” Your stomach clenched, worried where this conversation was going. “But my mom was dating someone before he was. Like almost immediately. It’s just weird. But I’m glad he has someone now.”

You relaxed and nodded before you told her, “Me too. He makes me happy.”

<><><>

A week and a half later, there was a voicemail on your cell phone. You did not recognize the number.

You pressed on it and your blood chilled hearing Rich’s voice.

“Y/N, what the fuck is this about all these boxes of my shit showing up at my parent’s house? You know they don’t have the space in their two bedroom. And what the fuck are you sending it away for in the first place? If you’re even thinking about kicking me out, you’ve got another thing coming, you little bitch. Do you understand me? Moving on like a fucking hussy now that I’m in here and you’ve got space in the bed? I know you’re helpless when it comes to providing for yourself but if you think I’m gonna let it slide that you are spreading your legs for some other fucking guy cause you can’t hack it on your own, you are sorely mistaken! I—”

The voicemail cut off. He must have run out of time.

Your lip was warbling as you stared down at your phone.

“What is it?”

Hank’s voice startled you. He was rubbing his hair with a towel, another one wrapped around his waist, straight from the shower.

“Nothing,” you said wiping at your eyes.

Hank’s arm dropped from his head, and he stalked over. He reached his hand out, gesturing for you to hand over your phone. He did not buy it when you said nothing. You slowly relented and he took it from you. Pressing play, he replayed the button and you flinched, the words hurting just as much if not more than the first time you heard them.

Snorting, Hank deleted the message. “Fuck him. And his condescension. You’re doing what’s best for you, and you are hacking it on your own. I say it’s about time you got a new number, Hmm? To avoid that bullshit.” Your lips parted in surprise, and he held your phone back out to you. You took it as he said, “I’ll add you to my plan, baby. We can go tomorrow. I don’t have meetings in the afternoon.”

With that, he turned and walked back towards the bathroom. He had not waited for you to respond.

<><><>

As soon as you were two weeks late, Hank brought home a test. He had stopped using condoms months ago when things had progressed. That same night, he had taken you out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate. He had taken you there before and you had adored it. That time though it was like a fog was clouding the room. You were happy, you had wanted to be a mother, and he was happy. But you were still married.

Hank had obviously been thinking about that too because a couple days later, he brought it up bluntly as he was watering his flowers.

“You should get a divorce.”

Pushing your sunglasses up, you stared at him in shock. You were reclining on a lawn chair, reading a magazine.

When you did not respond, he looked over his shoulder. You knew this conversation was coming but the knowledge of that did nothing to soften the blow.

“That seems heartless.”

“What? Fully leaving? Or are you telling me you’re planning to go back to him?” He was using that challenging tone.

“No!” you blurted. “That’s not what I’m saying.”

He turned the hose off and dropped it turning to face you.

“Y/N, he’s been in jail for over a year. You’ve already sent his shit away, he’s gotten mad about it, you don’t know if his family cares cause you aren’t at the apartment, you’re living with me. And you’re not at your old job. So, they can’t find you there. And you got a new number so no one can contact you. I think the writing has been on the wall where this is going. So what’s with dragging your feet?”

“It’s… hard.”

“A lot of things are hard, but we deal with them. Look, you’ll feel better once it’s over and done with and so will I. I don’t like knowing you’re still legally tied to that bastard. Can you understand that? Not just as the man you’re with but from an attorney’s viewpoint. It’s not good news. I’d sleep easier at night knowing he’s not gonna try to pull some shit.”

“Isn’t that a conflict of interest if you initiate and oversee this?”

Hank gave a brief chuckle, “No. I’m allowed to represent blood family even. I’m supposed to be unbiased of course but it’s legal to do it. I’m allowed to represent anyone.” He came closer, looking down at you on the chair. “And honestly, if I have it under my belt I represented him — that is if the bastard decides to take it to court, which I’m doubtful he will — and ‘saw the errors of my choice’ and now I’m trying to help you out, that’ll help in court.” He saw the look on your face and shrugged sheepishly. “I don’t mean to be insensitive but that’s how juries are swayed. Sob stories. And I could hit that shit out of the park.”

Swallowing, you contemplated. You had been thinking about divorce for a while. Even more so now that you knew you were carrying Hank’s baby.

You had taken too long to respond again, and Hank added, “Free of charge for you of course.”

You gave a small smile and said, “Hank… yeah, fine. I know.”

“‘Fine’? ‘You know’? Doll, you know I like you to elaborate your firm feelings.”

“I’ve been thinking about it. And I need to take a plunge. I wanna be invested in us. Fully.”

Hank nodded, “That’s better.” He nodded once more. “I’ll get them drafted up tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow is Sunday.”

“And?”

“Don’t you wanna enjoy the weekend?”

Hank simpered, “What’s a weekend?”

<><><>

Hank strolled past the security gate and swooped his briefcase up. The visiting room in the prison was bare and beat up. He was seated at the table, waiting, reading emails. As soon as the prisoners were trickling into the room, he kept an eye on the door.

The moment Rich walked in, he hesitated seeing Hank. Unlike with Y/N, he ventured into the room and pulled the chair back, sitting across the table from Hank.

“Surprised you haven’t found yourself in max yet. I was expecting to talk to you through glass. Whatever works though,” Hank clipped, sitting up straight.

“What are you doing here?” Rich asked, his tone tight. He ignored Hank’s jab.

“Thought you’d never ask,” Hank said, opening his briefcase and pulling out the pile of papers. He tossed them onto the table and leaned back, waiting for Rich to respond.

Rich stared at them for a few moments and shrugged, “What are these? Early release? I thought I made it clear I didn’t want you representing me anymore.”

“Ah, no,” Hank laughed. He was unable to hold it back. “Divorce papers actually. And I’m not representing you. I’m representing Y/N.”

Rich’s face darkened and he snapped, “What?”

“She’s divorcing you now that she’s not afraid you’re gonna bash her in with a monkey wrench. You’re right here, my man. And she’s free out there.” He leaned in closer and said, “Seriously, you fucking up the way you did worked out best for everyone. She’s positively glowing.” He tapped the papers and said, “So, it’s all in here. Just need you to read it over, get your signature, and it’ll be solid.”

Rich was staring harshly at Hank and Hank could pinpoint the moment the realization washed over him. He looked murderous. “You.”

“Yeah, me.”

“You son of a bitch. Just swooping in when you saw weakness,” Rich growled, slamming his hand on the table. The guards took notice and he immediately reeled it in, much to Hank’s amusement who had not even flinched. Through gritted teeth, Rich vowed, “You’re not going to get away with this. She’s my wife—"

“Yeah, a wife you have refused to see for over a year because what? You’re mad you had to come to her rescue because you were rolling too hard to pay proper attention as she almost got assaulted? Great. Husband of the year award right for you. I’ll make sure it’s delivered.”

“I’m not going to roll over on this!”

Hank waved him off, quipping. “Take it to court then. We know how well that worked out for you last time.” He smiled cruelly, “Do you understand how even more easy it would be for me this time to get them to turn against you than the DA did last time? I could easily paint myself as the white knight and yeah, sure, you would get a day out of the prison to come to court, which might seem worth it to you, but it is worth the cost for good representation? I don’t think so. You will get the floor mopped with you and the end result would be the same.”

Rich looked furious and Hank threw his hands out. “Think about it this way. Once you’re out, you can find another woman who was just as naïve and young as Y/N and do what you will. It’s wiping the slate clean for you, fresh start. Plus, Y/N’s already pregnant, so she’s pretty settled in already with me. Don’t wanna go messing that up cause trust me, motherfucker, I will make that hell for you. I’ve got the resources to do so. And man, do I have a vendetta against your ass. So, do you really want to try me?” If Rich could look more furious. His fists were clenched on the table, shaking, but he was keeping himself from lunging across the table. Hank was even impressed; the bastard really did not want to go to max.

Clearing his throat, Hank leaned over and grabbed his briefcase, standing up. “Anyways, you can wipe your ass with that if you want, but it’s still going to go forward. And I have more copies. Just let me know what you wanna do.” He pulled a business card out of his pocket and carelessly tossed it onto the table. “In case you forgot my number, champ.”

<><><>

Hank came up behind you and kissed at the nape of your neck. “You didn’t need to do this.”

“You weren’t home when you normally do it,” you told him, running the water from the hose over the hydrangeas that he cherished so much.

“I’m only thirty minutes late,” Hank chuckled.

“But you are particular.”

“That I am,” he breathed, kissing you again on your shoulder. He nuzzled in and nipped at your ear, drawing a smile out of you. “I got the papers back today.”

That caused you to stall, your hand dropping every so slightly, the water not arching as high. It had been a couple weeks since Hank had gone to the prison and all he had told you was that he had left the papers with Rich. You had not heard anything since. Hearing that he had actually sent them back signed…

He noticed your demeanor and his hands came around you, coming to your stomach. He held you protectively there and breathed reassuringly, “Looks like our family is going to be okay.”

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney  @biiskuitx

[justanotherblonde23]

You Can’t Please Everyone - A Marcus Moreno Story

Author’s Note: Welcome to Part 3 of my Marcus Moreno and Doctor Iris Moreno one shot series! This wasn’t originally the one I planned on releasing today, but I was going through it last night and @autumnleaves1991-blog​ suggested that I write my feelings out and let it all pour into my writing. She was right, I felt so much better afterwards. Still no descriptions for what Dr. Moreno looks like, I want you to feel like you can see yourself as her <3 Thank you all for your love and encouragement, I really appreciate it. 

Warnings: angst, crying, parental problems, hurt/comfort, pregnancy mentions, language

Let me know what you think, what you’d like me to write next, want to be on a tag list for this series, etc. I want to interact with you all! 

Iris opened the front door, trying her best to be quiet; she didn’t want to wake the kids. If Marcus got the timing right, their girls should have just finished their bedtime routine and have settled in for the night. She took her jacket off, hanging it up in the coat closet. All she wanted was to grab a glass of wine and curl up and have a good cry. Unfortunately, being pregnant meant no alcohol, so she would soldier through with a good cry in the shower, maybe. 

Her heels clacked on the stairs. She went slowly, her heart and mind weary. Both girls had their doors open a crack, the universal sign that they wanted kisses and to be tucked in by momma, too, even if she came home a bit late. The drowsy kisses and ‘I love yous’ filled her with joy, covering the ache just a little. She knew that no matter what went wrong throughout the day, she would always be coming home to two precious little girls that loved her dearly. At this point, she couldn’t even imagine life without them. 

Marcus was right where she expected him to be, in bed curled up with a good book. It still blew her away every time she stopped and realized that he was hers, and she was his. Being his wife, it was bliss in every sense of the word. She hadn’t expected him to propose; how could she when his last marriage ended the way it did? Iris would have been happy to be with him forever in any way that he’d have her, but she had to admit that she had wanted to be his wife. She had changed her name as fast as humanly possible, for the thought of being Dr. Moreno filled her with pride. He had suggested keeping her last name or maybe hyphenating it after he proposed. He knew how hard she had worked to make that name worth something, and he didn’t want to take that away from her. She had appreciated the gesture, but she insisted that her work was her own, no matter her last name. She wanted to share everything with Marcus Moreno, including his last name. 

The man in question looked up, giving her one of his earth-shattering smiles, the one that made her feel as if she was the center of his universe. How could she not melt when his soft brown eyes held her gaze, baring his soul to her? She loved this beautiful man with every breath she took. 

He frowned when he noticed her eyes had welled with tears, leaving black mascara tracks down her cheeks. Silently, he stood up, gently unzipping her dress for her and helping her into a shirt of his that she loved to wear to bed. He knew that she would talk to him when she was ready. He would wait her out; it was better not to press her. Marcus led her into the bathroom, sitting her up on the counter while he cleaned her face with a warm washcloth and makeup remover. With each tender swipe of the washcloth, more tears fell. He could feel her shaking underneath him, the silent sobs giving way to heaving gasps.

Once he finished washing her face, he cradled her in his arms, carrying her back to their bed. He settled her on his lap, her legs straddling his hips, arms wound around his neck, face tucked in next to his own. The closer he could get to her, the better he knew she’d be able to feel. His hand snaked under the shirt, rubbing soothing circles on her back, fingers pressing patterns into her spine. He whispered words of comfort in his wife’s ear, willing her to hear what he was saying. Darling, I love you. I’m here for you; you’re not alone. Let it all out, baby. It’s okay to cry. Don’t keep it all stuffed inside; just cry it out. Missy loves you, Jules loves you, I love you. He went on and on, pouring his love and adoration into her. Eventually, her tears subsided, and she was ready to talk. She pulled back a bit so that she could look into those kind eyes of his that never judged her or made her feel less than. 

“Dinner with my dad was a disaster, Marcus, it was horrible. I should’ve known it would be bad, but I was hoping that this time might be different.” 

He nodded sympathetically; her relationship with her father was complicated. That man was manipulative, two-faced, selfish, and frankly a terrible parent. He had never approved of their relationship, blatantly refusing to even come to their wedding, insisting that they’d be getting a divorce at some point anyway. No matter how happy they were together, that man was always finding something to nitpick. If it wasn’t the age gap, it was the fact that Iris had stepped up and filled the spot of mother that the girls had so desperately needed. He hated their jobs, their house, the fact that they were individuals with enhanced abilities. Marcus couldn’t think of a situation where he had ever said anything positive about, well, anything. 

Despite all of this, he knew that Iris still loved him, still cared about him, and desperately wanted some type of relationship with him. She was the kindest person that Marcus had ever met. Her passion for people, her ability to truly empathize with others and try to help them heal was inspiring. He had never seen anything like it. He had seen it firsthand with his girls. She poured every ounce of love and devotion into them, treating them as if she had given birth to them herself. She said time and again that there was no difference to her. They were her girls just as much as they were his, and she loved them as such. That love and care extended to her father, too, no matter how many times he hurt her. 

“What did he do, honey?” he was hesitant to ask. Marcus knew that he would get mad at her father and have to rein himself in. He hated to see his wife hurting like this, and it made his blood boil. No one should cause her this much turmoil, especially someone that was her parent. 

“The whole thing was just a mess from the start. Dad was giving the poor waitress a hard time the second she came to the table. You know when he acts like he’s funny, but actually, he’s just rude? He was playing that game. I tried to talk him off the ledge and get him to bring it back in a bit. You should’ve seen her face, Marcus. She was petrified. Every time she came to the table, I could see the apprehension in her eyes. I tried to make sure that I was as nice to her as humanly possible to make up for him. Jesus Marcus, he should know better. I bartended to help mom with money when she was sick, for goodness sake. I was just like that poor girl all through med school and up until I got hired at Heroics HQ. You’d think he’d be willing to consider that.” 

He shook his head, placing a kiss on her forehead, not interrupting her as she spoke. He knew that Iris needed to get it all out before he chimed in. 

“Then he realized that I didn’t order any wine and commented on that, and oh fuck Marcus; it just came out. I just blurted out that I wasn’t drinking because we’re having a baby. He fucking laughed at me, told me not to joke about shit like that. When he figured out that I was serious, he was furious. He told me that I made a mistake, that this baby would just tie me down. He told me that this was a sign that it was time to give up my career and commit to being a mother. I just- I can’t believe everything he said. He went on and on about how I was finally having a real kid of my own as if Missy and Jules aren’t mine, and how it was unfortunate that this baby was yours. I thought that maybe he’d be happy that he’d be excited, but it was a shit show. He didn’t ask how far along I was or anything. I don’t know why I even do this anymore, why I even hope for his approval. It’s a battle I’m never going to win, so why even try? And fuck, these pregnancy hormones are making me so goddamn emotional. I couldn’t even make it through the main course. I made up a work emergency and left. I’m hurting, I’m fucking starving, and I just want to curl up and call it a night.” 

There was silence for a few moments, Iris once again hiding her face in the crook of Marcus’ shoulder. He wished he could physically take the pain away, that he could take her heart in his hands and cradle it to his chest, protecting it from everything that threatened to break it. It killed him to see her like this, and it wasn’t fair; she didn’t deserve this. It didn’t help that at 12 weeks, her pregnancy was beginning to take a toll on her. It was always tricky for enhanced individuals to carry a child, even more so when the child was also enhanced. It just made everything a bit more complicated. He hadn’t seen it up close himself before. His ex hadn’t had powers. To see Iris suffering and struggling with harsher than average symptoms tore at his heartstrings. They were both so excited to have this little one; it would just be a bit more challenging.  

“Baby, I’ll be right back. I’m gonna grab a few things, get comfy okay?” 

Marcus hated untangling himself from her, but he knew what might make her feel a bit better. She let out a noncommittal grunt, letting him know that she heard him. He quickly went down to the kitchen, grabbing supplies. He put everything on a tray, double-checking that he had what he needed before going back up to the bedroom. He set the tray on the bed, earning a grin from his darling wife. 

“Okay, so you said you were hungry; I thought I’d grab the things you’ve been craving recently. I’ve got a bowl of butter pecan ice cream with strawberry sauce, the whipped cream from a can, and crumbled up potato chips with a side of frozen Reese’s peanut butter cups and that guava juice you started liking last week. Oh, and a grilled cheese that I made earlier and put in the fridge. I know you like them cold right now. I’m not gonna question it. I’m sorry you didn’t even get to eat anything when you went for dinner, but this might be even better.” 

He settled into bed next to Iris, putting the tray on her lap. The giggle of delight that left her mouth made him feel warm inside. He watched her dig into the ice cream, telling him about the new developments that she was working on for his katanas, how she wanted to adjust the grips a certain way, and asking for his input. There she was, his wife was crawling back out of the pain and the hurt. He adored her enthusiasm for science and invention. She always had some idea or other to improve his weaponry and armor. He could listen to her passionately explaining her thoughts and ideas for the rest of his life, and he’d never get bored. 

By the time she finished, the disaster of a dinner had been wholly forgotten. Marcus got up, placing the tray on the dresser. He’d deal with it in the morning. They spent another hour talking, cuddling, and holding each other tightly. After a while, he noticed that Iris began to nod off, her eyelids struggling to stay open. He adjusted their position so that they were lying down, and his love was wrapped securely in his arms. She fell into sweet slumber to the sound of Marcus murmuring sweet nothings in her ear and his hand rubbing her tummy, holding her and their baby close. She may not be able to please everyone, but she had Marcus, their two girls, and this baby. In the end, that was everything. It was all she needed.  

Tag list: @autumnleaves1991-blog​ @madness-roses​ @bisexual-space-slut​ @dindjarindiaries​ @frannyzooey​ @cinewhore​ @revolution-starter​ @mrschiltoncat​ @softpedropascal​ @paniclana​ @jollyrancher87​ @hdlynnslibrary​ @maybege​ @corrupt-fvcker​ @cyaredindjarin​ @magicsuperheroes​ @flightlessangelwings​ @itspdameronthings @fallingoutofthe1975​ @thestreamergirl​

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Sink Or Swim

tag list: @cleocc @feeling-kinda-so-so @hopelessromanticvirgo @dreamy-slytherin @adora8 @lockerfivethreefive @painfully-oblivious @poeticinemaa @jjustonemorething @saraben00 @wedarkacademia @coolguyssyndrome @hischbabe @suckerforsobbe @tayspots @starmansander @theah0lt @zoenneforever @invisibleme @chibibanane @odi-et-amo85

~^~

Tuesday, 10:33

Song: The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather

Jens paces across the doorstep as he tries the call a fourth time, jamming his thumb against the button before raising the phone to his ear. It buzzes, and buzzes, and buzzes, and Jens curses under his breath.

“I’m not giving up, so fucking pick up,” he mumbles.

On the sixth ring, Lucas does.

“What the fuck, Jens? Can’t you take a hint?”

“No, and please don’t hang up, okay? I’m outside.”

“You’re what?”

“I’m at the front door of your building. At least, I hope it’s your building.”

“How do you even know where I live?”

“You told me last week when I was going to come pick you up, but I don’t know the apartment number, so let me in. Please?”

There’s silence on the other end, and after a few seconds Jens is worried the other boy has hung up. But when he checks, the call is still connected.

He injects some extra pleading into his voice. “Just give me a few minutes to explain. C’mon, I’m freezing my balls off for you right now.”

The silence extends, and then Lucas lets out a sigh. “It’s number seven. Three flights up.”

The line disconnects and Jens fumbles not to drop his phone as he hears the door buzz and quickly moves to push it open. He tucks the mobile safely into his pocket before climbing the steps, not wasting any time taking in the building in his rush. At the top of the third set of stairs, Jens casts his gaze around for a door with the number seven and instead finds Lucas at the end of the short hall, leaning in an open doorway.

Jens falters in his steps as he slowly makes his way to him, suddenly unsure. He hasn’t actually come with an apology in mind; he’d simply told himself with Lucas in front of him, he’d know what to say.

Now that Lucas is in front of him, his mind runs blank. He barely looks at Jens, instead rubbing a tired hand over his face. His eyes are droopy and the skin of his cheeks is a light, rosy pink, the same colour as the sweater he has tossed on over black sweatpants. He looks sleep-soft and cuddly. He begs to be greeted with a kiss. Jens barely manages to refrain.

He may have spent the weekend freaking out. He may still be freaking out. The feelings filling his chest, his stomach, are unfamiliar, and he’d taken Lucas’s few days of silent treatment to attempt to sort them out. To ponder. To research.

He’d spent yesterday doing quite an extensive bit of research.

When he realises that Lucas has caught him staring, he clears his throat. “Hey.”

Lucas crosses his arms over his chest. “Hey.”

His voice is raspy and sleep-soft, too, and Jens decides this was probably a really bad idea. He sweeps his gaze over Lucas once more and raises a brow. “Did I wake you up?”

Lucas scoffs. “Three missed calls, Jens. One right after the other. Yeah, you succeeded very well in waking me up.”

Jens winces. “Sorry. But I mean, it’s half ten. I assumed you’d be up.”

“It’s the holidays,” Lucas sniffs, and Jens supposes he can’t argue with that.

Jens nods, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth. “Uhm—can I come in?”

Lucas shrugs and otherwise doesn’t move. “You only need a few minutes, right?”

“Yeah.” Jens tries not to feel disappointed, but it’s difficult. It’s difficult to hold onto any control at all, faced with a Lucas who is so closed-off, a Lucas who’s definitely mad at him. Jens wants to get angry, too. He wants to tell him to stop overreacting. He wants to beg and plead for forgiveness. He wants Lucas to stop shutting him out.

He wants Lucas to at least smile at him again.

“Okay.” Jens blows out a breath. “I’m really sorry. I mentioned that Jana wanted to meet up?”

Lucas nods, drawing his arms around himself tighter.

Jens nods back, and he doesn’t really know where he’s going with this. “And you know I was confused, after Friday. I needed to clear the air. The whole thing stressed me out and I just had a serious brain-glitch, or something. I genuinely forgot. I know excuses can sound like shit, but I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t mean it, Luc.”

“So your ex-girlfriend—who you don’t wanna get back together with—messaged you, and your brain short-circuited to the point you forgot I existed?”

At this point, Jens understands that Lucas is still thoroughly unimpressed.

“No, I didn’t—that’s not what I’m saying.”

“So what are you saying, Jens? Because to me, it sounds like it’s yourself you’re lying to.”

“What?” Jens furrows his brows. He isn’t lying to anyone.

Lucas softens slightly, but shakes his head. “You’re seriously still saying you don’t feel anything for Jana?”

“She’s leaving.”

That makes Lucas pause. “What?”

“She wanted to talk to me because she’s leaving. At the end of the week. She’s going to New York.”

“New York?”

“She told us about it during the summer, but back then it was just a plan that had fallen through. When she came back to school, I forgot about it. But it’s happening now. That’s why she kissed me.”

Jens didn’t really expect that this is what he’d have to explain, but it’s now that he sees Lucas’s defense begin to slip. The reasons for why—the potential that Lucas is mad not because he was ditched, but because he’s jealous—sets something stirring in Jens’s chest. The something feels a little too much like an excited thread of hope, and he snaps it immediately.

“Why, exactly?” Lucas asks hesitantly.

“She needed to prove to herself that there really was nothing left. And she did. I already knew. Like I told you. It wasn’t about wanting Jana. It wasn’t even really about Jana in the first place. My head was already a mess because my dad was bugging me that morning, and then Jana messaging me just reminded me that we hadn’t spoken, and I blanked. And I’m really fucking sorry. I’d never purposefully miss out on time with you. Seriously.”

It’s more than he usually likes to admit, but he seems to be in the habit, around Lucas, of giving away more than he probably should. He also knows it’s probably the best course of action—and his hope is confirmed when the rest of Lucas’s defense falls away.

“Dads can be a pain in the ass,” he allows.

Jens grins. “Yeah. I knew you’d get me, if you just heard me out. You’re a stubborn fuck, you know that?”

“You deserved it. I froze my balls off for you first, and you didn’t even show up.”

Jens laughs, and permits a shrug. “I deserved it.”

Then there it is—Lucas’s smile.

Bright and easy and beautiful. It begs to be kissed.

Jens resists.

“That’s what I wanted to see,” he says instead, soft, and he’s granted a blush and a roll of eyes in response. Then Lucas finally holds the door open and nods inside.

The change in temperature is immediate, and Jens sighs as the door shuts behind him and he’s wrapped in warmth. He shrugs off his coat and pulls off his beanie, letting Lucas take both from him and hang them on a hook by the door. It’s only when Lucas begins leading him down the hallway that he realises he’s in the boy’s apartment.

His hands grow clammy, and he wipes them discreetly on his sweats as they enter the kitchen.

“Hot chocolate so you don’t lose any body parts?” Lucas teases.

Jens snorts. “Of course you’d offer hot chocolate.”

“What does that mean?”

“Mr Sweet-Tooth, right?”

Lucas side-eyes him. “So you don’t want hot chocolate. Good. More for me.”

Jens makes a small noise of protest. “I never said that.”

“Uh huh,” Lucas smirks at him. “That’s what I thought.”

He moves around the kitchen with ease, taking two cups from one cupboard and the hot chocolate from another. Jens feels warm as he watches him pull up his sleeves to fill the kettle, exposing lightly-tanned forearms, thin but corded.

Jens has to snap his gaze away when Lucas speaks up again. “Stop being awkward. Sit down.”

“I’m not awkward,” Jens mumbles, awkwardly avoiding Lucas’s gaze as he pulls out a chair. Lucas merely turns his head to hide a smile and doesn’t comment.

“Are you here alone all week?” Jens asks, as Lucas busies himself with wiping down the spotless counter.

“Yeah. Apparently offices don’t get the same holidays as schools. Pity.”

“Aren’t you lonely, though?”

Jens regrets the question as soon as it leaves his mouth, and then ten times more when Lucas turns around to look at him. He leans back against the counter, wrapping his hands around the granite top. He shrugs, tilts his head, and asks, “Aren’t you?”

“Most of my time is spent babysitting,” Jens points out.

“Lotte isn’t a baby.”

“I’m talking about Lies.”

Lucas snorts, and the tension dissipates. “She’s the one you didn’t want me to meet?”

Jens rolls his eyes. “You could have met her if you wanted to.”

Lucas hums, unconvinced.

“Really though, Lucas. I’m sorry I fucked up.”

“S’okay,” Lucas shrugs. “Maybe I was being a little harsh.”

“Maybe a little.”

Lucas tilts his head, unimpressed.

Jens says, “Let me make it up to you.”

That seems to be of slightly more interest to Lucas, who raises a brow before moving to pick up the kettle. “How so?”

“Come hang out with me again. This time I’m going to pick you up from right here so you can’t be left waiting in the cold.”

Lucas asks, “Milk or no milk?”

Jens blinks. It takes him a few seconds to realise he’s talking about the hot chocolate. “Whichever way you prefer it.”

Lucas gets some milk.

Then he asks, “When?”

“Anytime you want.”

“We’re hanging out right now.”

“That doesn’t count. Come on. I’m giving you a once-in-a-lifetime, all-access pass here. I’m completely at your mercy.”

Now Lucas appears intrigued. “Really?”

Jens is not one to backtrack. He hums affirmingly.

“Friday?”

Jens nods, and that same feeling is stirring in his chest once more, the thread unwinding into rivulets of apprehension.

Lucas’s gaze is challenging. “But I’m not organising it. Your apology, your work. I expect big things.”

He sets Jens’s hot chocolate in front of him as Jens grins. “I’m sure something will come to mind.”

[purplesurveys]

1275

When you were younger, did your mother or father ever let you open a few presents before Christmas or your birthday even arrived?  We open all our presents the night of Christmas Eve to begin with; but no, they don’t tease by letting us open a few of them before our usual schedule.

If you could receive a 100 dollar gift card for either blouses, pants, dresses, shoes or purses, which would you chose?  If I could change blouses to shirts, then I would go with that because I’ve recently gotten into t-shirts and sweatshirts and no longer the trendy and preppy tops I used to like haha. But if not, I would go for shoes.

What is your favorite thing to do after crying? Ex: Sleep, listen to music, have some alone time, talk to someone, etc?  It varies as it depends on how much I cried. The harder I cried the more I’d want to sleep it off, because it can actually get pretty exhausting. Sometimes I’ll reach out, sometimes I write. It’s really different every time, but at the end I’m just glad I can no longer even remember the last time I cried out of sadness.

Do you think Trump will be assassinated, or will he survive his term?  Well we know the answer to this. It’s satisfying to notice him disappear off the face of the Earth immediately after his term, though. I don’t have a clue what he’s up to now.

Last time you felt suicidal?  For some reason I felt down last Thursday and I felt the slightest, slightest tinge of suicidal thoughts. No idea where it came from.

Last time you had butterflies?  Ugh idk but it was probably BTS-related hahahahahahah

Biggest asshole you know?  Certain politicians.

Did you ever leave someone because you know you’d hurt them?  No, I was on the opposite side of the coin for this one. I was broken up with because they believed they would hurt me, if not already doing so.

What song did you last listen to?  Hip Hop Phile by BTS.

Ever ridden in a police car?  Nopes.

Ever witnessed a murder?  Hmm, not that I can recall. I do remember having to monitor crime stories for one of my very first journalism assignments and the one time I didn’t tag along to the fieldwork with my classmates, they got to witness a stabbing incident :/ By itself of course it always sucks to have violent situations like those, but as a reporter it would’ve been interesting to see the scene and its aftermath.

Have you ever lied under oath?  I don’t think so, no. I can’t even remember the last time I was put under oath.

Have you ever failed a subject before? I’ve failed exams but never an entire class.

Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet?  No.

Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender?  Well yeah, I dated one.

Have you ever been in a hot tub before?  Sure.

Have you ever been to a movie that sold out?  I’ve never experienced trying to buy tickets only to find out they’re all sold out, but that’s also probably because we have hundreds of malls in Manila alone and you can always find a theatre that are still offering tickets.

What movie last made you too scared to go to sleep?  I’m not usually that way with horror movies, but I do remember running into a jumpscare on TikTok while I was scrolling at 3 AM. Not fun.

When you’re on a laptop, do you hook up a mouse or use the touchpad?  Touchpad. I never use a mouse.

What’s your mom’s mom’s name?  Agnes.

Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the person you like?  I’m not interested in anyone so this shouldn’t be a problem.

Have you ever been tempted to steal?  Sure, but the urge is never so strong.

What is the main character’s name in the book you’re reading? I’m not reading anything.

Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? Nah. I did have a Ben&Ben phase, though I haven’t revisited their music in a long time.

Who’s the last person you saw naked, aside from yourself?  I’m not sure about completely naked, probably still my ex. As for partially naked, my dad sometimes goes shirtless at home as most Filipino dads do lol.

Who’s your favorite horror monster/killer?  The most iconic for me would be that porcupine looking ass from Resident Evil 4, I believe it was meant to be for one of the boss stages or something. Anyway, it’s memorable for me just because that fucker had been impossible to defeat and I loved watching my older cousin do attempt after attempt. I don’t think he ever got to beat him and by the time he did us cousins were already adults, lol.

On a side note, we called him ‘Porcupine’ as kids since a shitload of spikes would stick out of him unpredictably during the boss stage, and I thought that nickname had been just our thing; but I’m actually surprised that that villain actually comes up when you do a simple ‘Resident Evil 4 porcupine’ search haha. I guess other people called him the same thing too.

What kind of music do you prefer to listen to when driving?  I usually put on a playlist of BTS’ rapline; I tend to enjoy high-energy songs while driving.

Would you ever own a hairless rat, cat or dog?  I don’t see why I wouldn’t when it comes to the dog. I don’t want a cat or rat. 

All the people you’ve kissed, what did their names start with?  G.

What did you and your ex fight about most?  It was about the deeper, more profound stuff. We never saw eye to eye about the future, if we were helping the other grow, etc. Someone was always scared or insecure about something that the other could never help with fixing.

Don’t you love long hugs?  Sure, I love getting hugs as long as I’m comfy around the one giving it.

And long kisses?  Mhm, they’re nice.

Have you ever purchased condoms?  Only for Angela when she had still been too shy to ask for it herself. 

Have you ever gone on vacation with your boyfriend/girlfriend?  No. We had gone out of town for daytrips, but never for a fully-decked out vacation.

Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument?  I wouldn’t do anything that loud. My resentment’s a lot more reserved and subtle, definitely on the passive-aggressive side.

Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it?  If I left like a paint scratch, no. If I was somehow stupid enough to manage wrecking the car then yes.

Have you ever used someone's handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot?  Oh that’s just gross. No. I do remember unknowingly parking over a spot meant for the handicapped once just because the paint was so fucking faded. It was genuinely so hard to tell but in the end I ended up just getting out of the spot and looked for another just to be on the safe, unassholey side.

Are you embarrassed to tell people your job?  Not at all! I love telling people I work in PR and sharing the brands I work with...it’s just a bitch trying to explain what exactly it is I do on a normal day. I’m still blanking out on it now that I’m thinking about it, haha. PR’s a challenge to summarize in one or two sentences.

If you ran over an animal would you keep driving?  I honestly have no clue how I’d deal with it. Ideally I would pull over and help bring it to the side of the road, and try to ask for help from passersby as well. I’m still not sure what I should/would do next.

Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner?  French, Spanish, and Italian restaurants always seem to carry a pleasant, date-y atmosphere to them, so any of those cuisines should be ok. I also like quieter restaurants with warm yellow lighting, since that makes me feel at home the most. The place definitely doesn't have to be super popular; I would just want for it to serve good food.

What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue?  Flying planes.

What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?  Probably something that’s booked with thrill-seeking adventures? Like a day of wakeboarding, paragliding, skydiving, riding an ATV...I would be exhausted as fuck and sleep for the next three days, but I can’t even begin to imagine how fun it would be.

When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with? Writing stuff. < Yeah, essentially. My friends ask me for general life advice too.

Has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked like?  Yeah. But I always defended her.

Have you written or drawn anything for somebody else?  I mean I’ve written long letters, but I haven’t made a poem or song for anyone.

Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?  These days it would probably be Arlan. He just finished his Masters in Journalism at Columbia and I couldn’t be more proud. I remember wanting to attend Columbia too, but seeing how my love of journalism turned out...I’ve long accepted the fact that that route was not meant for me, hahaha.

What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?  Finish a painting, which can also serve as a callout to me lol.

What would you rate 10/10?  Seafood.

What do you hope never changes?  My relationships with my best friends.

Would you ever have sex with the last person you texted?  No, I barely have a clue who she is and she seemed decades older when she called me up this morning.

Is there anyone that you’d love to just spill your guts to?  I’m good.

Where is the person you have feelings at right now? 

Are you happy with your relationship status?  Yessssssss. I love not having to worry about another person to spend on LOL

When did you last cry? What for?  Two Saturdays ago. The one-year mark of my breakup had been coming up and an overwhelming wave of emotions just flooded me all of a sudden, I guess. There was happiness and relief from not being stuck in it anymore; feeling sorry for myself as I remembered the turmoil and deterioration I went through in the latter part the year; anger for the shit she pulled; and there was also just the general feeling of being grateful that I’m still here after everything.

Do you think you’re wasting your time on the person you love? 

When’s the next time you’ll kiss someone?  No clue. I’m not holding my breath for it and that’s okay.

Were you ever scared to death of anyone you knew? Or are you currently?  Yeah, unfortunately I’ve always been surrounded by at least one person who terrifies me.

What’s the longest you’ve been away from home by yourself?  Nothing more than a day. That’s something I have yet to try out.

Have you ever been made fun of, because of what you look like?  Athenna was relentless in her insults. I dunno why I was friends her for as long as I was.

Have you ever made fun of others, because of what they look like?  If they’re some random person on the internet with disgusting political views, then yeah; but it’s just thoughts I keep in my head and I never verbalized the bullying. But not anyone in real life. Do you think it’s cute when you’re leaving a place, and a guy says “no hug?”  If I’m friends with the person I’ll banter with them for a bit until I give in for a hug. If it was any other guy I barely know...I would be disgusted and throw them the dirtiest glare.

Do you wear short shorts (if you’re a girl)? I didn't know short shorts were specific to females. < LOL same. Anyway no, not these days. I used to but they’re not really a part of my personal style anymore.

Who are you the most uncomfortable around?  Relatives with the wrong political views.

Who has your heart?  Nobody.

Should cloning ever be allowed to happen?  I don’t see the point. No.

Are you impatient with really shy people? If it gets to the point that they seem aloof and radiate very I-could-not-care-less-about-getting-along-with-any-of-you vibes, then yeah I feel like I would get irritated pretty fast. But I was an extremely shy person once too, so I’m typically friendly with them and I would usually be That person who constantly stays next to them so they feel like they belong.

Does your house have air conditioning throughout, or do you have one that sits in your window?  It sits in the window, as with most households here.

What is the most ridiculous band name you’ve heard recently?  I haven’t encountered anything wacky recently.

Would you ever get a fashion mullet?  No.

Do you believe that Jesus lived and is returning?  No.

Do you believe in spiritual gifts?  No.

Do you believe in callings?  Not really, no.

If you were rich, would you get a professional photoshoot done?  Hell no. I get extremely sheepish in front of a camera and a thousand times worse at posing.

[rosesvioletshardy]

life as we know it - b.h. chapter 2

finally this is done. it’s a little shorter than last chapter but i can’t promise it’s better? anyways i might take a little while on the next chapter because exams are coming up and i need to study so i just hoping y’all don’t give up on this i have started writing chapter 3

masterlist

summary: when their two best friends die, it’s up to people to take care of their goddaughter and face the challenges that come with it

# of words: 2305

warnings: little bit of swearing, both characters being dicks to each other, fluff and cuteness

--

late september 2016

over the months, everything went smoothing. ben went back to filming and y/n went back to running her bakery. when christian and lennon came back, they had the post wedding glow but at the same time lennon had the pregnancy glow like every other pregnant woman would. nothing would stop that woman from teaching and decided that at her 8 month mark she finally decided to stop and go on maternity leave until she was ready to go back.

Because of this, y/n and ben have been on high alert and making sure that their godchild and mother and father were okay. it was revealed that lennon was going to have a girl and everyone was so happy for her and christian. her due date was halloween and no one was shocked seeing it was lennon’s favorite holiday. earlier in the day, christian had sent lennon, his mother, and her mother all for a spa day so that him, ben, and y/n would be able to work on the nursery seeing that it wasn’t done besides the crib. the only problem was that arguments started all over again

“no, why can’t you help christian with the changing table and i actually paint. i’m the only one here who is at least creative and can draw and shit, no offense christian.” y/n told ben already rubbing the sides of her forehead knowing that her headache won’t go away

“none taken, and she’s right jonesy, we can’t draw for shit let alone paint without screwing up.” christian said not even looking up from the changing table instructions already tired of the two adults fighting and acting like children

“are you joking? how would you, of all people, know i can’t draw? maybe i’m good at it and it’s a secret talent i have?” ben told at her

“yeah, and i’m a world class gymnast that can do everything perfectly without screwing up!” 

“can the both of you just literally shut the fuck up and paint different sides of the room the colors we picked out please?” christian practically yelled the two adults before continuing

“look, i know you both want to be the best godparents there ever is and make sure you make lennon and i happy, and that this baby gets everything handed to her perfect. you’ve already done that just by helping us with everything else and by being our best friends and family,  but just for this one time, i need the both of you to do something where it seems like she won’t be the adult and you two are the children. now, she’s going to be back in about 2 hours and i promised her we’ll get at least half the room done and we’ll finish the rest either tomorrow or the day after or whenever. just, do whatever we have planned and that’ll be great. thank you.” christian told them

“fine, maybe i could lay down the tape and you can paint i’m tired of this already. i got somewhere to be soon anyways.” ben said grabbing the tape

“fine, maybe i could lay down the tape and you can paint i’m tired of this already. i got somewhere to be soon anyways.” ben said grabbing the tape

The three continued to work on the room and filming some memories for baby wakes up until christian got a call from his mother telling him that lennon’s water broke in the middle of a facial

“i thought she was supposed to give birth next month?” ben yelled searching frantically over the couples house for the stuff they needed

“she was, the baby just decided to come out early i suppose.” christian told him not being able to find where he put the baby bag for lennon when she gives birth and y/n noticing causing her to react

“chris, why don’t you go to the hospital and we’ll meet up later with some of the stuff you’re going to need afterwards. okay? just take a deep breath, in and out. good, now go be a dad.”

“congratulations you got this we’ll see you as soon as she’s born.” ben told him hugging him

“okay, see you guys soon. I’m going to be a dad!” he yelled as he ran to his car

“i’ll get their stuff ready, you can go wherever you need to go. i’ll call you when lennon gives birth.” she told him as she started to walk to lennon and christian’s room and grabbing one of their bags

“are you sure? i can call and cancel and reschedule? i don’t want you to always be the one doing the work, especially in times like this.” ben said to her

“yeah, i’m fine. your meeting sounded important, like for a new movie or something. just go ben. it’s fine.”

“alright then, um, just text or call me if anything happens. bye.” ben said leaving the room and headed towards his car

y/n next spent the next few hours fixing up some stuff to take for them and fixing them some food to eat that can feed a whole army knowing that they’ll have their hands full for a while 

according to christian, lennon still hasn’t given birth but she’s close, so y/n decided to head down there in case. 

as soon as she left, ben entered the house again, feeling guilty that he left without helping her with everything and deciding to finish building all the furniture. when he was finished, he sat in the middle of the room thinking about how life can suddenly change for two people as another one came into their lives. he snapped out of his thoughts when his phone started to ring, he answered it without looking at the caller ID and he got his with someone yelling in his ear.

“SHE’S HERE! BABY WAKES IS HERE! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!” y/n yelled before she hung up causing ben to quickly get up and run back down to his car and to the hospital. 

When ben arrived at the  hospital after stopping at the store to get a few stuff, also known as a giant teddy bear and a couple of balloons, he saw y/n pacing back and forth waiting for christian to come and get them. she saw that he had gotten the exact same teddy bear as her and she wanted to call him out but it was normal for people to do this kind of stuff and plus their goddaughter was just born so they didn’t want to fight at the moment. 

“i would yell at you right now and be mad and annoyed that you got the exact same thing as me, but since we are in a very public space i won’t.” she told him

“thanks, have they said anything?” ben asked her as he sat down

“no not yet, christian came out to tell me everything was fine though, they just needed to clean her up and do some tests, and then are allowed visitors.” “okay. i really can’t believe that they’re parents now. it’s really unbelievable, when i was growing up with christian, never would i think that guy would be mature enough to become a father, let alone a lawyer, and now he’s both. jesus it’s crazy.” ben said shaking his leg with excitement

“same here, lennon was basically the wild child in college but she somehow is a schoolteacher. everyone thought i would be the first to get married and have a kid, but wow how have the tables turned.” she said finally sitting down

“so why haven’t you settled down or have kids? if you’re comfortable answering?” ben asked her curious seeing that she seemed like the type to settle down by their age

“um, i guess i just haven’t found the right person yet. i thought my ex would be the one, but the douchebag cheated on me.” y/n told him looking down at her hands

“i’m sorry that happened. i also want to apologize for earlier this year when we tried to go on the date they set up. i really should’ve been more presentable and nicer-” ben started 

“and not take a booty call in front of me?” she said cutting him off

“and not take a booty call in front of you.” he finished laughing a bit

“it’s okay, really. i’m actually seeing someone and i think he’s great.” y/n told him

“that’s amazing, i’m really happy for you.”

“what about you? what happened to the brunette from their wedding?” y/n asked curiously

“nothing. she didn’t seem like my type-” ben began before getting cut off by christian telling them they could come in

“hey, you guys can come now.” 

ben and y/n followed christian to their room and they couldn’t be more excited. as they entered, they saw lennon in her bed cradling their daughter and the two godparents couldn’t have smiled bigger at the sight.

“hi guys, we want you to meet  charlotte lucia wakes, charlie for short” lennon told the two before continuing

“do you want to hold her?” she asked

“uh, yeah. she’s so small.” y/n said taking the baby from her best friend as christian pushed a chair for her to sit in, cradling her head

ben walked over to where y/n was and looked over her shoulder. she lightly ran her finger over the baby’s face before she stopped at her hand and charlie tightly wrapping y/n’s finger in her tiny hand.

“hi baby, i’m your auntie y/n, i’m going to make sure you have some fun in your life and not be trapped with your parents all the time.” she said in a whisper

ben looked at her holding the baby and wondered what it would be like to be a dad. he was snapped out of his daydream when y/n asked him if he wanted to hold her

“ben, hello, earth to ben?” 

“yeah? sorry what did you say?” ben asked snapping out of his thoughts

“i asked if you wanted to hold her. you okay?” she asked him

“yeah i’m fine, just thinking.” he told her as she gave charlie to him making sure he was holding her head

the next few hours consisted of the four adults talking about the process up until lennon had to feed charlie and ben and y/n decided it was a good time for them to leave seeing that it was already late and visiting hours were almost over.

the pair said their goodbyes to the new parents and headed on their way out. when they got to the entrance, y/n pulled out her phone to order an uber since she didn’t take her car when it happened. ben noticed and decided to offer her a ride home seeing that it was nighttime and no one knew if the driver ended up being a creep or not. 

“hey, do you want me to give you a ride?” ben asked her putting his hands in his pockets 

“you really don’t have to, i just ordered an uber. thanks for offering though.”

“it’s really no problem, you still live in the same place right?” ben asked still unsure if she had move in the past several months 

“i still live in the same place, yeah. are you sure though? i really don’t want to bother you.” she told him 

“you're not bothering me at all and it’s really nothing. just please let me do this one nice thing for once. i sort of don’t want something to happen to you because you never know what’s going to happen.”

“ben jones, are you going soft on me? fine. i’ll let you drive me home.” she asked him while crossing her arms before opening the uber app once again, canceling her ride.

“no, i’m not. i’m just trying to be a nice person, don’t think charlie wants to grow up without an aunt and only have an uncle.” ben told her trying to avoid eye contact

“yeah that’s why.” 

“okay enough let’s go.”

y/n laughed as she followed ben to where his car was. when they entered the car it felt a little awkward. why was ben all of a sudden being nice to her? 

The drive to her apartment was too quiet to both of their tastes. neither one of them knew how to strike up a conversation, not even how their day was before lennon gave birth but they knew that  already, or what they’ve been up to. they kept quiet until she broke the silence,

“so, how was your meeting today?”

“it was fine, just some acting stuff that’s all” ben answered before continuing

“how’s the bakery going?”

“it’s going good, thinking about renovating it a bit, you know changing the place up, trying new recipes”

“That sounds nice. hope you get to do it.” ben told her stopping at the light

“yeah, it does but it’s also expensive so it’s on a hold until i can figure out something.” y/n told him as she looked at the window

“you know i can always help, just have to ask. it’s no big deal.” ben said as he pulled up to her apartment complex seeing the familiar gates

“no. i can’t take advantage of you, ben. it’s your money and you do what you want with it. i know you’re trying to help but i really don’t need to be seen as a charity case. please don’t try to argue with me.” she told him in a pleading tone

“fine. i won’t help you then. goodnight y/n.” 

“i’m sorry. goodnight ben.” y/n told him, her voice barely in a whisper closing the door

as ben drove off, the two can’t help but feel a sense of guilt in the way they both acted to each other a few minutes ago. ben, because of the way he started to act after she rejected his offer, and y/n for the way she rejected his offer.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #363

(one more that’s a late upload from way earlier in the day, and i yet again don’t feel like updating the answers)

What brings out the worst in you? When I'm very anxious or having a PTSD episode, I can become very snappy and just not a joy to be around. What all did you eat today? This morning I had oatmeal, I had a rice cake as a snack, and lunch was ham and cheese on a tortilla. Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No, I was a good kid. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Who was the last person you cried in front of? It was probably Mom. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? I usually talk about them somewhere, like in surveys if I feel I can't with anyone else. Please be vocal with your feelings. It is so destructive to let them build up. Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? I'm unsure. Do you know anyone that is gothic? A good number of people, myself included at least in spirit. ;~; I can't really afford good attire, nor do I have the patience for so much makeup maintenance. Have you seen UP? I actually haven't seen the full movie, but I'd like to. How is your mom? Stressed as fuck and tired of everything. What color hair does your mom have? She recently dyed it black. Her hair is growing back totally gray now and she hated it. She's gotten so self-conscious as she's aged. When was the last time you were told you were cute? Idk. Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? FUCK NO. Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? I tried it once and did not get the appeal. Did you have school/class today? No. My school endeavors are done. Do you have any paintings in your room? If so, of what? Yeah, I have my big painting of meerkats grooming above all my 'kat plushies. Have you ever had your photo professionally taken? As a child and by school photographers, anyway. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Like a week ago when we went to Ichiban for my sister's bday. Do you know how old your house is? No, I don't. Have you ever been described as ”adorable”? Yeah. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. They seem incredibly awkward to me?? Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make mega bucks? No. I can't do a job I hate for anything. I would be so depressed. Are you a moody person? Yes. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders' new episode of Resident Evil 8: Village. I'm deadass watching four different LPers play it, I'm only moderately obsessed lmao. What video game could you waste the most time on? WoW, given it has like a zillion different things to do. Yet I still get bored lmao. What is your favorite condiment? Maybe Ketchup? I think I use that for the most things. What is the worst thing that you have ever done? I don't feel like getting into this. How old were you when your parents gave you the "birds and the bees" talk? They didn't; I learned in my school's sex ed in the 5th grade. Have you ever questioned whether or not you'd benefit from therapy? I have benefited from it. What would you like it to say on your gravestone? Hypothetically, idk. But I'd rather be cremated. Would you ever wear real leather or animal fur? NO. Have you ever completely failed a year of school and had to repeat a grade? No. Have you ever been bitten by an animal that wasn't a cat or a dog? Which? I think my old baby iguana bit me once or twice, not that it was very painful at her young age. I can't recall another animal. What type of literature are you most likely to read? (book, magazine, etc) Books. Do you prefer using candles, wax melts, or incense? Incense. Are you someone who actually doesn't have a Facebook? No, I have one. What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? I'm not really *active* in any; I just observe them and interact via "like"s. I'm actually in a whole lot of groups, though. Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? Neither. Do you hear any animals right now? No. What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? I know and like a few songs, especially "Dear God." Do you like Batman? Yeah, I like his "refuse to murder" ideology. The only thing is I kinda have a bad connection attached to him, because Batman was Jason's thing. Have you ever played fetch with a dog? Yes. Does your house have a fireplace? Yeah actually, but it might be fake? I don't even know lol. Have you ever pet a stingray? No. Have you ever dissected a baby pig in a class at school? Oh my god, no. I literally could never. I did dissect a frog in the 7th grade that wound up to be pregnant, though... I wasn't happy about it, but at the same time it was very interesting. Who is the last baby you held? My niece. Do you like Sunkist? The orange kind is fine, but the STRAWBERRY flavor? Jfc I love that shit. Would you ever consider being a cannibal? UM NO Do you have any scars from an animal? I have a lot of scars on my hands from playing with Roman. I scar extremely easily, so just his little scrapes leave marks. Have you ever seen an Igloo? No. Do you like Korn? Love 'em. How many animals do you have? Really two, but we have three in the house right now. Idk when this dog is going away. Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Tornados. Ever rode in a helicopter? No. Do you like rabbits? Yes, they're adorable. Do you like mushrooms? NO. What was the last movie you cried at? I want to say Logan, but I'm not sure. I watch movies so rarely that I really don't know. Would you rather work for a small or large company? Small. I'd feel more useful. What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I don't know. Have you ever read the book 13 Reasons Why? Yeah. I thought it was good, but now I don't remember like... anything about it. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had apple and cinnamon oatmeal. How many times have you read your favorite book? Just once. I don't re-read books. Have you ever been on Omegle? No. Are you still in love with one of your exes? "In love," no. Do you think being born was a mistake? Yeesh, no. Has a relative ever been arrested? My psychotic uncle (by marriage) has been. Was it a serious crime? Quite honestly, I don't remember. I just know he's an angry and dangerous motherfucker. Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension? Doubtful. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? I ponder over the possibility of being a research simulation, kind of like a much advanced version of The Sims, but I honestly doubt it. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Was it a passing phase or is it something controlled by medication? Therapy and medication saved me. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? Fight me about Christopher Columbus Day. He didn't discover shit. Have you taken any writing classes? How about art? I've taken a writing course in college, and I've taken loads of art classes. What’s your all-time favourite band? How about all-time fave singer? Ozzy Osbourne; Freddie Mercury. What three songs do you want played at your funeral? Why those particular songs? "Like A Woman" by Alice Cooper, "Life Is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M., and "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory. I just like them and find them suiting. Do you think most mythological creatures exist? No. Have you ever had lice? No. What is one superstition that freaks you out? Why is that? I’m not superstitious. Are either of your parents retired yet and if not, what do they do? No. Dad is a mailman, and while Mom doesn't ~officially~ work yet because she's recovering from intense cancer treatment, she very recently resumed lightly cleaning a church for a small payment. Kinda like a warmup. When did you or do you want to move out of your parents’ house? I wanna move out once I'm in a long-term, stable relationship with someone so we can live together. Me living alone is NOT a good idea. How do you like your current job, or if you’re unemployed, have you been looking for employment? I don't have a job, but when I go to my tattoo appointment, I'm going to ask them if they'd be interested in hiring someone for the front desk. I think it's def something I could do because I love the environment, there's really not that much I need to know (like where the Doritos are, dealing with exact change, answering a dozen unique questions), it's not insanely busy, and the occasional phone call would challenge my anxiety and just be a minor inconvenience to me until I got used to it. My partial hospitalization program really got me wanting to fight back against what gives me anxiety, to truly expose myself to what scares me, while not going totally overboard with it. It was encouraging to hear my therapist there thought it was a magnificent idea for me. I decided I wanted to ask while at the parlor getting work done to show serious interest (like I'm not just some random chick walking in and asking for a job), as well as let the people warm up to me. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but damn am I wishing. I want it so badly. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I've never taken shots.

[wildflowerwattpad0217]

Avenging Riverdale: Riverdale x Avengers/ Sweet Pea x OC!Tony Stark’s Daughter. My Reaction After Completing it and A Year Of Working On It.

This will include spoilers to my fanfic her is the link if you want to read it:

Avenging Riverdale

Masterlist

One paragraph is one chapter.

(not a chapter) Im going to be honest, in my mind their are two sections of Avenging Riverdale. Before my Brain Surgery and after because if you have read my fanfic all the way though, Author Notes and all, you know that I had to stop writing Avenging Riverdale for awhile so that I could focus on healing from that.

A trigger warning, good. Two part cast. Prologue. Tally is in deep shit. Steve picked her up and took her hungover ass to the living room. To Riverdale she goes. The horrible fake screenshots. I stopped doing that though because I couldn't find one for a group chat. Her and Tony's fights are rough. She snuck out to a soup kitchen. I feel bad for abandoning that. Cap found out. Tony put a tracker on her. Wtf but they are getting along. Now the Avengers are worried tho. They are shook they are getting along. After her dad became Iron Man things went downhill in her life.

Welcome to Riverdale. 'Murcia is Cap's group chat name. Short Stark is Tally's and Deadpool just got in it. His is World's Biggest Cry Baby. Peter's explanation of how he knows Deadpool is the most Gen Z thing ever. MJ is Tally's Slut. Tally is MJ's Bitch. Hello Cheryl Blossom.

Bucky has been eating Tally's cereal. She's acting betrayed. Veronica is surprised she didn't kill him. She heard someone mispronounce her name. She corrected them. Betty Copper. Kevin Keller. Kevin is fan-girling. She has blueberries. Jade Keller. Jade is trying to hate on her and her family. Cat Andrews. Jade is dragging her by the wrist while Cat is acting like this is a completely normal thing. Andre Clayton. Jade and Tally would've made a great couple. God damn my crush on Malachi and Sweet Pea. Andre is questioning why Jade just kidnapped Thalia Stark amd why she's at Riverdale High. Tally is questioning why there are so many redheads.

Betty warning Tally about Jade. Song writing with her new friends, Jade, Cat and Andre. She's allergic to roses. She doesn't want to talk about her family problems. The Welcome Back Dance. Archie Andrews. Jade and Tally are dancing together. I swear to god my gay-dar is broken. She rejected Reggie Mantle.

MJ being possessive on insta. Thalia punched Reggie Mantle. It's so weird looking back and seeing Tally not know what's going on her mom. Bucky trying to be a supportive boo. The first mention of Nick St. Clair. Her telling Jade what happened. Jason Blossom's body being found.

Omg, I published chapter 5 for 100 reads. That seems so long ago now that the book is almost at 45k reads. Tony and Pepper are getting married.... I didn't get them married until Endgame. Tony and Tally are going to Pop's. She is not at liberty to answer the question of whether or not she jacker War Machine's suit just so he would do the macarena without a lawyer. Bucky, it's her job to make you feel old.

Hydra nightmare. She's talking to her dad about the nightmare. Then she was like now that we had a hard time going down to the basement to tinker. Whether she wants to admit her or not I wrote her a lot like her dad. Malachi. Malachi obviously cares about Tally. Malachi knows that Nick St Clair hurt Tally. They had sex. I'll be honest with you, I wasn't sure if in the end she was going to end up with Malachi or sweet pea at this point I was still debating it. Malachi kept her hair brush.

Tony just apologized to her for pushing. Jade just stole her for a minute. Malachi left hickeys. I love Tally and Bucky's relationship. Tally is Pepper's maid of Honor. Tony's cooking?

Jade now knows about Malachi. Veronica brought roses in his school and Tally starred sneezing. Tally telling Reggie I don't need the Avengers to kick your ass.

Kevin knows about Malachi now. Nat as chasing Bucky. I love how tally is a moderator for these little fights. Tony is going to spar with Tally, he's going to get his ass kicked so hard. Bucky that $50 on tally. Cap betted $50 on Tony saying that her emotions would get the best of her. Tally won. But Tony is blowing it off like oh I let you win. Thalia Stark got a pep rally who would ever see the day. Tally thinks her dad's hiding something from her. Jughead expected her to have a stick at her ass. I love tally I really miss writing her. It's because of lines like Tony Stark is my dad, iron Man's just suit that just really make me miss her.

That was really sweet and it almost made me cry I forgot I wrote that part. Cheryl just got arrested for lying. Tally proving her genius. Reggie asked her on a date.

The Avengers just found out she's going on a date, they're not exactly happy well, the male Avengers aren't especially since she punched the guy in the face. Pepper is getting emotional. Cap answered the door. Mantle is shook. After the date, he dropped her at home and closed the door before he had a chance to kiss her.

Reggie mantle trying to slut shame tally. She is pissed, she ran into that boy's locker room. She's threatening to expose his dick pics. Which he thinks that it matters that she's not in New York anymore when she's the one with all the security clearance and she's Thalia fucking Stark. The extra points she got just because Reggie met The Avengers. Everyone keeps reminding her murder is illegal. Tally wants to destroy his car, Nat is like go for it and everyone's like Nat, no do not influence her to do this. Rhodey it doesn't think Tony should be supporting her in this. She got her revenge. Mantle is pissed, just actually wanted it. Her dad had a screaming match with the principal.

Malachi is starting to miss her. Toni Topaz. Sweet Pea. Fangs Forgarty. FP Jones. Beck Oliver. And Sweet Pea's nickname is born, Sunflower. Toni loves her. Mantle tried to apologize, but it was a shit apology so she blew him off.

The drive-in is being bought. Malachi wants me to come over after school. Malachi asked her out. He's giving her time to think about it. Family dinner.

Really bad nightmare. Then she had a panic attack because of the nightmare. Tony got pops burgers for breakfast.

Malachi and tally are officially in a relationship. The meeting of the New York friends and the Riverdale friends. Her dad's wearing an iron Man onesie. Steve is wearing Captain America pajamas. Clint is wearing a big bird onesie. Her dad is leaving from New York tomorrow to present an invention and wants her to go.

She is staying in Riverdale. Her dad asked her to stay away from The lodges. Tally you telling off Cheryl. Steve you fucking snitch. Talking about Tally's pranks. Peter is worried about her.

The accords. Tony wants her opinion on it. She thinks it's the most stupid idea ever. The governor wants her to sign it but she's refusing to. He doesn't want her to sign it either. She knows more about her mother than he's talking about. Honestly it is so weird looking back at this and having her mom not being revealed like this.

The accords meeting. Tally just walked out of school to be there. Tony knows he fucked up.

Rest in peace Peggy Carter my queen. Yes Nick, help her stop the fight in a Target parking lot. Tally is such a mom. When tally even bosses the King around, threatening to reveal his internet browser history. She just compared them all the toddlers. She just met Ant-man. Ruby Lodge is her mother.

Ruby Lodge also happens to be Hiram Lodge's little sister. Tally was born in Riverdale. I really abandoned the UN plot line.

Her and Jade are going to sing at the variety show. Take A Hint for the audition tho with Mantle in the crowd. Josie wants to talk to her alone. Veronica is pissed she didn't her they were cousins. Dinner party at the Pembroke.

Deadpool. After the variety show her and Deadpool are on the roof eating chimichangas. She's helping Betty look for her sister. She's going to go clubbing with Veronica, Kevin, Jade, and mantle. Cap is really easy lie to. Malachi is there and he's cheating on her.

She called Malachi a dirty mouthed whore. She just got a package from the Ten Rings. PROJECT INTERMISSION. right now she's thinking Hydra in the 10 rings are working together. She can't go to Polly's baby shower because she's doing some investigating of her own.

Soup kitchen talking to the serpents. Tony just asked what's the tea. Tony has so much faith in his daughter taking over Stark industries it's so sweet. Her and Cheryl are starting over because tally gave her some really good advice about being a female daughter getting ready to become a CEO.

Another letter from the 10 rings. Chuck is back. Jugheads surprise party. I forgot I put Cat's bibble addiction in here. The ones that watched Victorious will know what I'm talking about. I think Tally's birthday present is the best one he is received for a while. Cheryl wanted to know about the scars on her back during the game of secrets and she even it was like exposed herself basically she really didn't care though. To the Southside with Sweet Pea.

They really want to challenge Tally at call of duty. They're playing never have I ever. Toni knows about what happened.

Her mom was a serpent, and she went to the serpent's for help. Everyone is surprised that tally is a serpent by blood.

Her father told the truth. Jade scares Joaquin. That's cute, Sweet Pea thinks he can be tally in a game of pool.

She won. And sweet pea is confused why she is open about almost everything but her ex. They had sex. Tally is saying that they can't date because of everything that's going on and she doesn't want to put him in danger. Tally is in deep shit.

Tony and Tally had a big fight. Tony's kind of suspicious of tally right now because she's been acting off. Steve heard something about project intermission. Tally is terrified that Hydra is going to kidnap her.

They're still asking about project intermission. FP was just arrested for the murder of Jason blossom. They're holding an intervention for tally because they're worried about her. Malachi what are you doing there I don't remember this.

He regrets cheating on her. Malachi can read her like an open book. The blackmailed him into cheating. Tally just save Fred's life I forgot that's how she gets kidnapped. Alice Cooper is Thalia's godmother. She's dead. I wrote this and I'm about to cry. Someone stole the body. Project intermission.

Tony freaked out at the mention of the 10 rings. She's alive. The Avengers are finding out what happened with Nick St Clair.

Jade really just spilled everything to them I mean I would too if meant getting my best friend back but still. Tony went to go see Malachi. Malachi said he was more afraid of tally than he is of Tony. But he's still told him a lot.

Tally has powers. Thalia is so sarcastic I love her. Tally was able to send a message to them. By the time they got there the Hydra base was in flames and she was walking out of it. They forced her to go to the hospital where everyone was waiting. Tony tried to keep her in her in the hospital room but she was like no❤️.

The sexual tension between her and Sweet Pea tho. Interview by Sheriff Keller. Welcome home party. The Whyte Wyrm. Sweet Pea wants a slurpee. Toni accidentally ate a weed brownie.

Fangs has skittles in his jacket? FRIDAY you sassy AI. Movie night code red. Tangled vs The Conjuring. Nat has Thor in a choke hold. I always forget that Rapunzel's name translates to Lettuce. They all suggest movies and fight it out. First one is Sweet Pea vs Tally. I FORGOT I BROKE THE FOURTH WALL. Tally won. Tony is having a talk with Sweet Pea. Tally doesn't think Hydra is done. Imma be honest I don't remember most of this because the close it get to when I had my surgery the more fucked my memory became.

Reggie is calling her the walking dead. Swalia date. This is going to be adorable.

The memes tho. They ended up watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Things got heated then Tony texted tally. Her and her dad ended up working on the Impala when she got home. Tally told Reggie to fuck off. Her adoption papers came in so that she will legally be Pepper's kid. Archie's an idiot.

I love Pepper. Sweet Pea and Tally are officially dating. Jade and Kevin are freaking out. Her dad is freaking out not like Jade and Kevin. Cat is pissed at her brother. Bulldogs and Serpents showed up. Jade, Cat, Veronica and Tally stopped the fight. She headed to Sweet Pea's.

My fake insta posts were the best. Beck, Fangs and Sweet Pea just got arrested. Nick St Clair is coming to town. Mantle vandalized her locker. Apparently the same thing happened to her mom. She's not going to talk about Nick St Clair.

Tally telling Archie to keep an eye out for Nick St. Clair. Date night with Sweet Pea. He took he took her their hideout. She's contemplating filing a police report on Nick St Clair. They had sex in a treehouse.

Nick St. Clair is back. Veronica doesn't know shit. She finally told her dad. She going to report him. She told Veronica. Veronica confronted him at the party and now everyone at the party knows. She went to SVU. Then she went to MJ's.

They are going to arrest him at the open house. He has been arrested.

No more secrets? Holy shit. She now knows Alice Cooper is her God Mother. Really Tony? Why did you call her out in front of everyone? You could've just talked to her. He wants her to see a therapist. St Clair had a bail hearing. No bail. Southside High was raided. When he only like Sweet Pea because he's taller than Cap. Tally didn't realize it. Drag Race. Malachi vs Tally. Bucky is so chill about it.

(So Chapter 47. Is the where you guys find out that I am having surgery) Sweet Pea finds out about Malachi. Sweet Pea feels betrayed, angered. They're having a fight. Sweet Pea is afraid that because she kept this one secret EX from him the next thing you know she'll be cheating on him. Tally just told him I don't want anyone else. They said I love you. The drag race. Tally won fair and square but Malachi still thinks she cheated. Tony scheduled the appointment.

Apparently you can't teach Thor how to cook. Tally isn't allowed in Asgard. Tally just called Vision a toaster. And in response Tony said don't call your little brother a toaster.

Family dinner. Everyone is there. Sweet Pea just got there. Thalia is the moderator. Nick Fury scares him. They are grilling him. Mario Kart tournament. Cap won.

Sweet Pea sending her bad pick up lines. MJ approves. Jughead asked for a favor. FP is getting out of prison.  Sweet Pea and Tally are talking about their future. (This is the last chapter I published before my surgery)

FP's retirement party. Tally inviting Sweet Pea to the Avenger's Christmas party and New Years Eve party and everyone else.

Her first appointment. Afterwards she went to the Wyrm. FP wants to talk to her. Tally has a spare key.

Social media special.

Trial of Nick St Clair. He lost.  Southside High has been shut down. Jade's period is late. Jade is pregnant. Welcome to Riverdale High Southside Serpents. Mantle being a dick.

The uniforms. Message from Hydra, her mom is alive.

She's known. (Srry, this is when my short term memory was hell so I don't remember it.) Her mother is a hydra agent and was using Tony. She even talked to her when she was kidnapped. FP isn't happy that Ruby lied to them all.

Sweet pea trying to stand up for tally when Jughead was trying to use her Fame for peaceful protest now that's awesome but Tally's okay with this because it's a peaceful protest and something she agrees with and told him it's okay. They bugged his trailer. They have the tesseract from Odin's Vault testing against Tally's blood panel. It keeps calling her name.

Even though they told her not to tell sweet pea she did. Peaceful protest. The statue had no head the next day and tally woke up with a fever, despite the super soldier serum. And she has a fever. Bruce thinks it's because of the tesseract because they have similar energy they're fighting dominance. Next day she's feeling better, and is being questioned by the sheriff.

Foreshadowing much. She's realizing that she was born to her mother just become hydras soldier. Tally's idea is that well her mom's playing chess they have to play poker. Sunnyside is getting evicted.

Her mother is at the Wyrm. Hello Ruby Lodge. That was intense. Tally just thanked Pepper for being her mom. FP trust her.

Veronica's confirmation. Jughead and Betty found the head. Back at the Wyrm. Tall boy was the one who did it. Going to Lodge Lodge.

I think that's an accurate description of Cheryl. Jughead had to reassure them that everything was fine. The Jughead Veronica kiss. They get to stay in Sunnyside trailer park.

Hiram Lodge bought the Riverdale register. The break-in. They decide to go after tally instead of Veronica because you know she's a Stark. That was a mistake because they isolated her and her room and she was able to overpower one of them and take their shotgun away. She also paged her dad. Hiram Lodge owns pops. Ethel dumped a whole strawberry milkshake on Veronica. Reggie being a dick. Ruby Lodge broke into sweet peas trailer talk to him.

Ruby wants to make a deal. Basically what happened with Malachi where he cheated to protect his sister. Ruby said she wants to make sure her daughter is dead inside. Cheryl's missing. Sweet pea has been distant. Sweet Pea is drinking away sorrows. And he cheated to protect his little sister and his mom.

Jade slapped him. Tony is there. Fangs sent her a photo of Sweet Pea cheating. She's questioning everything. The Avengers want to kick his ass. She went to his trailer. Swalia is over until they get their shit together. Carrie The Musical.

She went to Malachi. She went there for help but they ended up sleeping together. They agreed to be one time thing. The plan started, Malachi would pick her up from the musical the opening night. Ruby stopped them, saying she would kill Malachi if she didn't go with her. into which Malachi admits that he still loves her. But she loves sweet pea. The tranqed her and she woke up in a chair. 5 months later she was in Sweden by herself safe and sound. What you saw an article about Archie Andrews being questioned for a murder. And she thought she might have evidence for it or could get it so she's going back to Riverdale. Then flashback 5 months ago Tony's point of view, Malachi showed up to the school after Midge was murdered. Tally is prime suspect right now. She killed a hydra agent. Then 5 months later. Tony is a pops when he sees his daughter walk in with blonde hair.

She got lectured from Steve about running off for 5 months. She wants to tent city. Her and Sweet Pea had a good to talk. Ruby Lodge.

She just wants to talk. Ancient Norse prophecy. Tony asked Thor and he gulped. There is a prophecy and Thor and Loki believe it to be about Tally. Odin agrees. In the final battle she dies. Thornhill.

Ghoulies. Malachi questioning Penny Peabody's motives and then putting the fear of Tally. Jughead wondering what that was about. The iCarly reference though. "If you ever do that again you're grounded for... Till college." "For till college?" "For till college!"

(So the reason I kind of stopped doing the Instagram post was because after my surgery I kind of just lost all creative initiative to do it.) The video tally turned in was ruled of questionable origin. Thalia Stark is under arrest. I don't remember this plot line. They don't have a very solid case. Matt Murdock, Tally's lawyer, wants to push the case to New York. Charges were dropped thanks to Nicholas fury. Archie pleaded guilty, Malachi is leaving. He wants to see her before he leaves. Tally told him he would hold a special place in her heart. Riverdale high, next day.  They want to get Hiram Lodge arrested.

Sweet Pea and Tally are talking about what happened and Tally finally said what's been running through her head. Thalia is Jade's child's godmother. She told Jade about the prophecy.

Tony is acting weird at The mention of a game that hit Riverdale. Ghoulie hideout with Penny and Ruby. She scared the shit out of Penny Peabody. Veronica's grand opening. Tally is willing to let Sweet Pea try to earn her trust back. They kissed... No, they had sex. The manual.

Flashback episode. Secrets and sins. tally roasting her father. Ruby and Hiram arguing. The Ascension party. Tony basically explained everything to his daughter.

Sweet peas playing the game that Tony told her not to and she asked him not to. She said if you can please playing the game the deal is off so he said well done the deal is off and walked out. She's heartbroken. Archie prison fight club. Since tally is the closest thing they have to a trained doctor she is the one that's going to be at the bunker ready to patch Archie up. sweet peas apologizing. Starting Hiram lodges case.

Swedish Mafia. Sheriff Minetta grilling Tally. Casino night. Sweet pea and her hooked up again. Sweet Pea asked her on a date. After good advice my father she accepted it. When he came to pick her up Tony threatened him saying you already cheat on my daughter again I'm going to kill you which I think is Fair. After a good date he asked tally to be his girlfriend again. She said yes.

Cap wanting her to join RROTC. Not tally paying for Fangs mom's hospital bills. According to Pepper Starks are caffeine dependent insomniacs. Tally had cancer. Thor smashing a toaster. Cheryl the bitch.

Tally helping Sweet Pea study for SATs. Hiram got shot. Fangs is back in the Serpents. FP is Sheriff. Ruby Lodge. Half-sister Alicia von Strucker.

Sweet Pea is worried. Alicia meeting Sweet Pea. Jade's water broke. Thalia regrets not being there for Jade. She gabe her sister a nickname. Captain America Fitness Challenge. To the hospital to see her god child. Violet Thalia Oliver.

Alicia is 100 percent Ruby's daughter. Josie tried to ask sweet pea to go to her mom's wedding with her, Sweet Pea denied. Thalia defending her sister to the Avengers. The Pretty Poisons beat up Sweet Pea and Fangs. Tally rushed over to the Jones trailer where she had a run kn with Jughead's mom. She doesn't like Starks. Jughead now knows about her prophecy. Tally meet Jellybean and calls her an adorable human being. Jellybean fangirling. Jughead trusting Thalia with his life.

Jughead's mom being skeptical af. Tally didn't trust her. Chemistry Lab break in. Jughead asked her to help deal with it, as a favor. Kurtz just called her Malachi's ex-bitch. Sweet Pea is pissed but Tally's got it. After a little violence. She's going to go call Malachi. He gave some food advice. She made Jughead promise something. She caught Kurtz trying to kill Fangs. Jughead made her let him go. Sister bonding time.

Alicia's life story. The Gargoyle King sent her a message. Tally is keeping it a secret from Sweet Pea. FPs 50th.

HEATHERS PART 1. Call from Detective Benson, telling her Nick St. Clair is getting released because of 'overcrowding'. The Avengers are pissed, so is Sweet Pea. Tally is playing Veronica Sawyer. Alicia came to see her sister at rehearsal and brought her a red bull. Party. Okay, I'll admit that was a bad pun. Big Fun. She was tipsy for a second because of Asgardian beer. She steps outside, Ruby is there. She threw up on her biological mother's shoes. Tbh I tried to put more references to the musical in here. Dead girl walking. Practice next day. Everyone finding Nick St. Clair got released and them being pissed. Cheryl wants to castrate him, Reggie agrees. Que Nick St. Douchebag's entrance.

HEATHERS PART 2. When I published part 2, Chadwick Boseman passed away. Rest in Power. Sweet Pea and Archie holding her back but everyone who know exactly what happened was ready to beat his face in. Nick called Tally a ticking time bomb. He mentioned the prophecy. Tally threatening him. Tally has some explaining to do. Her going to Sheriff Jones to get a restraining order. Tally shading Steve. Seventeen. Dr Stephen Strange saved her life. Alicia texted her to meet her. She gonna blow up the school. Alicia cuffed her in vibranium cuffs, she called Shuri. Dead Girl Walking Reprise (What a bop tho) Kevin met her at the door she told him to evacuate the building as silently as possible. Boiler room. The fight for the gun. Alicia was dead. She was able to deactivate the bomb. She went outside where everyone was waiting and trying to calm Sweet Pea and Tony down. Then she saw Ruby and saw red. FRIDAY record the convo. Tally just said it's over amd told her mom to fuck off. Ruby is pissed because it's not her ending. Tally just walked away and kept walking. I'mma be honest these are my favorite chapters.

Since the funeral, tally isolated herself in a depression. Now she has a text from an unknown person to meet her at Sweetwater River. Chic. Malachi came to see her. They had a good talk, he made her realize some things.

Cheryl preaching the farm agenda to tally who's just trying to grieve her sister. So she gives Cheryl a verbal SmackDown. Toni being pissed about it. Tally doesn't want to go to prom, so instead she wants to take sweet pea on a date in New York. Betty's dad's prison bus exploding. Veronica being confused on why they would miss prom. I'm telling explains it she's like well I know when that used to be your preferred choice of setting. He's asking him to move on after the prophecy is complete and she's dead.

Veronica's Pop deed is fake. Veronica wants Tally to fight her father. Tally is unsure about it, she could kill her dad with a single punch. Toby agrees the best bet us Tally. Archie taking the ring with Hiram, could possibly get Archie killed. Fight night. He broke her nose. Tally did more damage to him of course. Hiram Lodge has been arrested. When her family and sweet pea find out that she was the reason Hiram Lodge got arrested in the first place. They were starting to get ready to go into business together and tell you didn't want Lodge industries to fuck over Stark industries. When she figured out moves from Avatar to last Airbender and legend of Korra. Her mom escaped from prison.

Avengers discussing protection for tally. Package for tally. Thalia Stank. It was from the gargoyle King but she played it off in front of the Avengers and just left. To go to the hunting cabin of the blossoms. Her mom is there. Time for the final quest. The first one is for Archie the grizzled beast. I love tally. Because when Archie says oh crap, she says I think you're allowed to say fuck in this situation. Archie wins though. Tally had to play Russian roulette to get her in with the swedish Mafia. The next task is for Veronica. All the chalices were poisoned so Betty and Veronica are both poisoned.

Tally's turn. The assassin card. Battle of Blood. Biological mother vs daughter. Thalia killed her biological mother. Jughead's turn. He had won. And finally Betty's turn. She shut off her dad's fingers. After Penelope give the order to kill them all Thalia made a giant barrier with her powers. The farm ascended, leaving Kevin behind. The Avengers were shocked about what happened.

Filler chapter. Therapist appointment. Pop's with her dad. Tally remembering. Sweet Pea checking on her. Sweet Pea wants to run away with her, maybe run away from all of it but tally knows she can't. Then the next week tally knew the prophecy would be complete.

The beginning of infinity war. Dr strange. Wong knows about the prophecy while doctor strange doesn't. Tony just trying to protect his daughter. Tally got knocked unconscious. Bruce woke her up, Tony and Peter Parker are in space trying to save Doctor strange and keep the time Stone out of thanos's hands. At the compound talking about what to do. Tally knows someone.

Tally dreaming of the infinity Stones and seeing Thanos. Shuri. Things have entered the atmosphere. Tally's iron daughter suit. The fight has begun. Cap saying fuck. Thanos is coming for vision. Telling us what's happening to the stones right now. She bloodbended Thanos but the Avengers couldn't get to Thanos quick enough to get the glove off so he snapped. They lost. Tally is gone and so is half of the universe.

Nat is regretting not getting to Thanos quick enough to get to the glove off of him while tally bloodbended him. Tony found out that she's able to bloodbend. Tony passing out. Going to go kill Thanos. Nat and Thor explaining Thalia to Rocket. Thor went for the head.

5 YEARS LATER. Natasha's point of view. Meeting, Barton murdering people, Steve stopping by. She's remembering tally, reminiscing with Steve. Scott Lang. Quantum realm. Tony's point of view. Morgan Stark. Them telling the plan to Tony. Him thinking it's risky. Tony is salty about the fact that if they were close enough when tally bloodbended than Thanos they could have been done they could have won but they lost. Scott's trying to play with his heartstrings, mentioning tally, his first born daughter.

Bruce banner/hulk talking about the time travel thing . Tony's POV. While washing dishes he looks at a photo thinking of his daughter, tally. He decided he has to do it to see her again. He figured out time travel. Pepper finding out you figured out time travel. He's going to do it. Natasha's POV next morning. Scott time traveling going wrong. Steve POV. Walking outside seeing car pull up. Cap getting his shield back. But there's something Tony has to do before he gets to work.

He went to go see Malachi. He want to let Malachi know that there was hope. Malachi gave him a flash drive of Tally's research guy she entrusted him with five years ago. Clint testing the time travel machine worked. When Tony opened the flash drive he realized that a lot of it was mapped out for him already. Tally made a video titled if we lost. Time travel time. New York 2012. Time Stone.

Tony's POV, then Steve's POV. Not Steve saying hail Hydra. Tony's POV. Scott giving 2012 Tony a heart attack. Tesseract sliding to Loki. Steve POV. "That is America's ass" I think that's all I have to say for that part. Bruce's POV. Him telling her that Strange gave it away. She gave him the time stone. Tony POV. Deciding to go to New Jersey.

1970. Tony's point of view. Tony seeing his dad and getting the tesseract. Steve's point of view. Getting Hank Pym to run down the hallway. Tony's POV. Talking to his dad. Avengers compound. Natasha was gone. Grieving Natasha. Making the gauntlet, Thor going to stop his fingers then stop him Bruce snapping his fingers. It worked. Then disaster struck a missiles blew away the Avengers compound. Thanos sat waiting for the Avengers. Thanos vs Steve, Thor and Tony. Tony getting knocked out. Steve POV. Picks up Thor's hammer. Everyone is back. Tally is back.

Tally POV. Tally and Tony reuniting. Female team up without Nat. Tally took the stones before he could snap."You are so fucked." She turned to dust. Tony's POV. She started glowing. He grieved. Sweet Pea is at Stark Tower. He found out she sacrificed herself. The funeral. Tally is alive.

The scene with death. When Tally woke up she didn't remember anything. Everyone is shocked. Wanda jogged her memory. She explained everything. She met Morgan.

Graduation. Tally's POV. She was the valedictorian. She's going to MIT. Sweet Pea proposed. When she graduated, taking on Stark industries, she made sure it was clear the weapons will never be apart of Stark Industries again. When Sweet Pea and Tally got married she found out she was pregnant. Sweet Pea's name is this is Nathan Mantle. In the end they had 3 kids. Nick St. Clair got killed by the Swedish Mafia. She is the Iron Daughter.

Overall, I'm going to admit I don't remember writing half of this story because of my brain surgery and I was working on it during this. I love this story, it is my first time reading it all at once but I am partial to it because I worked on it for almost a full year and is the first Riverdale x Avengers crossover fic on wattpad. There is somethings I was contemplating, like who she was going to end up with, if she was going to die in the first snap or not. I was also going to do a part where she goes into hiding with Harley from Iron Man 3 and works as a waitress in a little diner as a cover, saying she's Harley's cousin, wearing a wig and contacts but I felt that'd make the story too long. But there are a few things I'm iffy about so 9/10.

[retrorealeyes]

Here’s why I want my parents dead /hj

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE like I know hating your parents if they aren’t overtly abusive (and even if they are it’s only mildly) like bruh, tempted to list out my parents “abuse” here. also like bruh, i’m fine rn, i’ve just been hating them for a while

This isn’t fully everything ever, it’s just an overview and I don’t think it touches the main problems enough (also I don’t give a lot of examples because there’s too many and I don’t have the will to write em all,and i’ve still overviewing everything)

-never respect my wishes if it goes against theirs (e.x. please leave me alone, can i go outside?, can I leave and go upstairs?)

             this is a big one

-don’t respect my privacy (in weird ways too, like my dad opening the door to scare me when i’m changing) and making fun of it too

          plus in normal ways like reading my journals or never knocking no matter how many times i tell them to

-making fun of me on purpose to get me upset, even when i ask them to stop

-getting suddenly and violently angry (dad):

           often unreasonably and quickly

          my dad curses people out under his breath, as a sign he’s going to get violent

          has broken things, SUCH AS MY WHOLE ASS PHONE by throwing it on the ground does punch things, generally not people, e.x. walls, but not that hard. he has punched me

          DOES to people- slap, push (this one especially, just last week he did), throw, scratch

          is destructive to other’s property (e.x. ripping up THEIR papers)

          refuses to listen to suggestions like, in the future, trying to calm down, or writing out his anger instead or seeking therapy

          been like this towards me since i was 6-7 years old

          it can escalate from anything

          will degrade you and insult you, if you ever say anything back (even in a non-angry situation, will grow even angrier/get very angry)

          makes you feel awful

          can last for hours and never accomplishes anything apart from further degrading yourself

          if you don’t give the exact answer he wants, will get even angrier

             I’m obviously terrified of him

               Swears at me, except they censor me so much they could probably kill me if I ever swore so that exacerbates the fear of it

          after the fact continuosly denies it

-my dad also:

           always demands respect

          always plays the victim and complains about how we dislike him

          never admits his mistakes

          is awful to my little sister, randomly, even when she’s being perfectly fine

-my mother and father’s relationship

             they openly and mean to each other. they never display affection and joke about divorcing

             sometimes dad yells at mom for a while, it’s obvious he thinks he’s superior to her and belittles her intelligence

             they are sometimes violent, but not often, and not overtly, more violent towards objects than each other when fighting with each other

             they do get in fights often (see: my dad’s belief in his superiority)

-openess with them

             there is none. they constantly criticize any self expression, make all subjects taboo, get angry over nothing and overall make me terrified of talking to them, then get all sad about “why don’t you tell us“ but if I try to express anything, even if they don’t get angry, they’ll store it in their heads and then later keep using it against me. “You said we were bad parents, do you not want to eat our food?“ “You said you were unmotivated, you don’t even have a reason to be sad.“ (said in an challenging, mean way)

-my self esteem

-my dad, physically (TO BE CLEAR I don’t think my dad in any way in trying to do anything sexual, i’m just saying he never respects my boundaries and here are some things he thinks are “perfectly fine” that he does, also this might be a bit disconnected sounding, i’m just so tired

          commenting on my weight/appearance (mom too)

             commenting on what i’m wearing, especially teasing me if it’s something out of the usual, as if i’m not insecure enough already

             dictating what i wear if they don’t like what i’m wearing

             commenting (negatively) on my mom’s weight a lot (to be fair, they both joke about being old and him balding and a little about him being fat so this one isn’t as bad apart form the fact that i’m skinnier so he “jokes” a lot about how i’m like a skinnier version of her)

                fatso called the girl in the video

             forces me to hug and kiss him, often only giving my phone back or treats luke donuts if I kiss him, even if I’ve expressed i’m uncomfortable (just does this a lot and i hate it)

-the past

             have yelled for me for no reason since i was young

             i don’t remember ever liking my dad (wait, before 6 years of age i remember liking him and before I was 9 i remember not hating him at all times)

             i continously try to trust them again, then they break me

               they were never open with me and taught me to be ashamed of myself which led to bad social relations later, which i’m only now breaking out of

-confiscation and lack of trust

               always taking my stuff so i can’t rely on what they’ll black mail me with, no “excuse” is valid to keep it (ex. I want to communicate w/friends or I LITERALLY HAVE INSOMNIA AND CAN’T SLEEP WITHOUT LISTENING TO MUSIC); during my worst days, when I was really suicidal i remember not having my phone for a long time which led to me being left behind and further isolating myself which, y’know spiralled

               I can go on and on about how they never value my voice but i’m sort of running out of steam

               they also never trust my statements, always cast me as the cause-r of something (luckily they’re fair and don’t punish me for it if I insist I didn’t do it, but the fact i have to really advocate for my innocence and am constantly suspected just is not great, and even jokingly, i hate attention, their attention)

                 There’s more but i think i’m done for now

-constantly bother me (i know this is nitpicking, i’m just trying to get everything out, and some of these have more layers than i’m willing to express)

               intentionally sabotaging

               even if i ask them to go away

               try to annoy me when ever i see them, even if i’ve asked them not too, and really make me avoid everything even more (you have to go through where they usually are to get out and that means y’know what)

               singing

               yelling and stepping loudly (which makes me scared my dad is mad all the time)

               always teasing and judging

-mother dearest

               very aggressive

               VERY controlling

               generally boring

               always invades privacy, more of a nosy person, but, in a way, better than dad

               she can get violent too and screams but it’s less often but can get very intense sometimes, generally it’s more of taking away my stuff and telling me to give up (which, the telling me to give up, my dad does too)

-lack of independence

                THIS ONE IS HUGE. my parents are very controlling and so even a little freedom excites me and they use my lack of experience as a sword against me, and that makes it eve harder for me to do anything when I’m constantly fighting restrictions and my brains can’t distinguish bad restrictions from schoolwork restrictions

-shitty world view

               just a bad biased view of the world, i really don’t want to elaborate, beyond the general sense they deserve to be respected for being parents a conservative-type view, also don’t have basic sense of morality, as in sympathy, for everyone, and instead do the whole us|them thing with their politics, the only problem is that we’re immigrants which is why they vote democrat

-grandparents

                 are visiting, they are also unhygienic, to always be obeyed, generally judgemental, and intentionally old, and taking up both of my rooms, overall i don’t like any of them, my father’s mom is alright though

-generally shaming me

And otherwise everything is generally going to shit, my social life (though I saved it somewhat for ONE person), my mental/emotional health, my exercise, motivation for anything, just the way the house is set up, my grandparents are here, how i’m doing in school.

I should write the thesis and really flesh this out well but I’ll tell you what: ultimately my parents are selfish people who don’t consider me my own entity but more as themselves and my achievements combined. ANd even if you love me, which I don’t doubt, I don’t have to love you back, and that doesn’t excuse your shittiness, dad. I fucking hate you. (yes. i’m grateful for the money, house, generally not obviously abusive childhood, food, stuff, bed, phone, etc. you have provided, but that doesn’t cancel out your misdeeds, it just coexists next to it)

Like is it SO bad for me to blame SOME of my issues with them? BUT NO if I ever bring up how they did x so i did y. I did y ON PURPOSE to UPSET THEM and i can’t hold them accountable, i’m just blaming them, even if I’m genuinely trying to explain my issues the way I understand them.

idr if you can edit tumblr documents, and even if you can, i’m not going to, i’ll just add to this with comments, to preserve the integrity, not that anyone will or should read this, but i’ll probably come back to it

[lilylovessev]

lost || snily

“Harry, I need some help in here.”

Lily glanced up from the box of clothes that she’d been sorting through, watching as her ten-year-old son then sauntered into the room. She pulled the lollipop that she’d been chewing out of her mouth and gestured around her, “Why is it that I am sorting out your room for you, young man? How am I supposed to know where you want everything to go?”

“Mum,” Harry laughed, shaking his head. “When is Sirius coming to fetch me? He bought me this jersey to wear, looks good, doesn’t it?”

She glanced down at her wristwatch, feeling just a tad anxious about seeing Sirius. She hadn’t seen him in years, of her own volition. “In about an hour or so, which gives you plenty of time to sort some of these boxes out.” She smirked, “You look very handsome. Your Dad wouldn’t like you wearing that particular jersey though.” She laughed, finding it somewhat amusing that Sirius was taking him to see a team that James had held lots of rivalry towards during his time as a player. That was risky.

Sirius had been all too eager to see his godson for the first time in a very long time, and James had made sure that he was going to remain a firm part of his life whilst he himself was out of the country. Oh, he wasn’t going to trust Lily to look after their son entirely by herself. Sirius was unknowingly being used as a spy by her ex-husband.

Her ex-husband. It was almost a relief to even think that. 

James was the Auror. They had spent the last decade or so living in a variety of different, exotic places. She had never really been able to settle, which was why this was a fresh start for her. He had been scouted to play Quidditch straight out of school, and she’d followed him then. She’d followed him from the start. She’d followed him down a murky road out of school, which had involved copious amounts of illegal substances and many parties, various other exploits included. He hadn’t coped well with the fame of being a World Cup player. It had become easier when he made the move to train to be an Auror, and she’d fallen pregnant. It was safe to say that having a baby had changed her, had made her grow up. She had been trouble. She had changed from an innocent good girl to a bad girl. And having Harry had changed that. 

Him? Not quite so much. 

It hadn’t been easy to walk away from James Potter. He would never have allowed for it to be easy for her to walk away. She’d had little to no financial independence, everything that she’d had, had been his. She’d worked, a little, over the years. She had found a job within the Ministry before starting divorce proceedings, knowing that she’d have to have something to go to, because he would have used that against her when it came to custody. Her Dad had recently passed away, and so she had inherited a little money, which had gone towards her home. That was something that she would never not feel guilty over, given that her parents had seen very little of her for years and years. 

Her life had changed, drastically so. She had once been popular and well-liked. She’d had so many friends, the closest of friends. Yet, she’d willingly let it all go. She’d lost them all, and for what? She’d made the most of every situation that she’d found herself in, but hadn’t truly been happy for a long time. 

James had been controlling, scarily so. It was only recently, when the blatant gaslighting had started that she’d realised that it was time to leave. She was a lot of things, but she wasn’t mad. She had become a possession of his, an obsession of his. Honestly, it concerned her, even now that the divorce had gone through. He would never truly allow her to leave him, not whilst she had his son. That was partly why she had done everything possible to avoid conceiving to him again. She had been on contraceptives for years, telling him that she wasn’t. She had simply taken the abuse for not falling pregnant, it was better than him having yet something else to hold over her. This wasn't the James that anyone else knew. This was the James that she and she alone knew. 

//

“He’s here!”

Harry ran down the stairs, jumping the last few before diving at the front door and pegging it outside. “Sirius!”

She smiled as she followed him out, folding her arms as she watched from a small distance. Honestly, she had to blink back tears. It was safe to say that seeing Sirius brought everything and everyone back to her. She hadn’t left them all on good terms, and a long time had passed since then.

A past filled with them having seen her displayed in various states in the wizarding tabloids whilst still in the UK, to her having then moved across the world never to be seen nor heard of again. She’d done a little muggle modelling whilst James had been playing Quidditch, all of which had landed her in incredibly hot water with her parents, and everyone had seen. Her life had been played out publically whilst they had still been over here. and so it had been a relief to get away when James had been stationed to be an Auror with the International team. In hindsight, it was strategic. He had been trouble, throughout the two years or so he’d played Quidditch for and they hadn’t wanted him making a scene for the British Ministry. 

“Lily.”

“Sirius.”

“You look well.”

Was that a compliment? They had sent pictures and the like over the years, but the last time that she had truly seen Sirius. She had been an immature, drug-addled twenty-one-year-old who had found it hilarious to pose for rather risqué magazines. 

At that moment, she couldn’t help but think about the past and feel thoroughly embarrassed. She was mortified about the way that she had left things with her friends, the way that she had acted and had treated them all so abysmally and for what? 

And then there was Severus. She tried hard not to think about him, because that was her biggest regret of all, more so than anything else and she’d had some fairly big fuck-ups over the years. 

James had never lost favour with Sirius, and the other blokes, but she only hoped that the girls��� had possibly seen what she had been experiencing. Maybe, deep down, they would feel something for her.  Yet, she doubted it. She’d been an absolute bitch, and she couldn’t possibly blame that on James. She hadn’t been the girl that Hogwarts had moulded her to be, and it was mortifying.

“Thank you,” she responded, smiling in return. “I hope that everyone is well? How is Doe?”

Sirius looked a little awkward then, as if he’d been told not to answer questions like that, which made her feel fairly shit. Why would Dorcas want her to know how she was? It wasn’t as if she’d shown any interest in years and years.

“Anyway, you two have a good time,” she then spoke quickly, before reaching into her pocket and handing Harry some money. “Don’t go wild.” She laughed, watching as they then walked back up the path together, Harry eagerly chatting away to his godfather. Sirius had been the only one, along with Remus, to visit over the years. They had been unwaveringly loyal to James. They didn’t know any different, she supposed. Harry was obsessed with Sirius, given that he was the only true family member that he’d really known. The Potters’ had passed away, and James had never really wanted her returning home to see her family. It had been difficult. She smiled as Harry turned, waving to her before the pair then disappeared around the corner headed to the nearest portkey. 

It felt so surreal to be there. It felt mad to be away from James, to have her own freedom. There was a lot that she needed to do, but she had no clue where to start. She supposed that merely finding her feet at the Ministry was going to be difficult enough, let alone everything else. It wasn’t going to be easy, this was going to be hard, but she had known that. She had known that coming back would be a challenge, but she had refused to stay away from her home. 

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 25

Warnings: mentions of PTSD, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, alcoholism, drug addiction (pain medication)

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​

Kyle arrives shortly before eleven; shirt untucked and wrinkled, carrying his shoes in his hands as he takes the beach back instead of the street.  

From where he stands at the kitchen table braiding Millie’s hair, Tyler can see him as he stands by the side of the pool; cheerfully greeting the twins and Ovi –with Declan in his arms- as they splash around. It’s trouble waiting to happen; whatever is going on between Kyle and the neighbor. As angry and annoyed as he is at Nik for years of drama and issues she’s tried to cause in his own relationship, she doesn't deserve to be treated like that. No woman does. Why cheat when you can just cut ties and do things the right way? There are no kids involved, no worrying about visitation schedules or child support or the long-lasting effects of a broken home. Whatever is going on, it won’t help well for anyone involved. Nik will be hurt and jilted, and she’ll end up on his doorstep. And that’s the last damn thing he wants OR needs.

“Where have you been?” Millie inquires, as Kyle wanders into the house. “And why do you look like shit?”

“Amelia...” Tyler frowns. “...what was the one rule for today?”

She sighs dramatically. “No bad words. But it’s true. He does look like shit.”

“Busy night?” Tyler asks his brother in law; hands working at twining and twisting his daughter’s thick hair together.

It’s a far cry from what his hands used to do, when they were primarily used for inflicting pain and punishment on others. When his knuckles would be torn apart; broken, bleeding, swollen. And as he gently drags the brush through Millie’s hair, he finds himself horrified that he’s even thinking about the job.  That his brain is playing the ‘then versus now’ game while his own flesh and blood sits in front of him; his ‘rainbow baby’ as Esme calls her. The very life that he’d help created while on the job. That had kept him going on the darkest and most trying of days.

He tries to fight it. That urge to get back into things. That powerful craving for something more. The intensity and the exhilaration.  Even the danger.

“Ow!” Millie cries, and tilts her head back to look up at him, fixing him with a furious glare. “That hurt! Why’d you pull my hair so hard?!

Fuck. He’s losing it. Or at least he feels like he is. First Ovi with his ‘wanting to try his hand at the job’ bullshit and then the reappearance of Nik in his life and the fucking nightmares and the incessant and desperate cravings for the Oxy and the booze. Now THIS. The reminiscing and the longing for his former life. This is not what he wanted. This is FAR from what he’d wanted. When he’d had his mental breakdown and walked away from New Zealand, he’d been determined to leave it all behind, the blood, the violence, the danger, the death. Content to be ‘normal’. More than happy to finally settle down and enjoy his role as a husband and a father. He wants to be the man they need. The man they want him to be. The man they deserve to have.

Now he’s slipping. All of his control, all of his willpower, all of his strength and his confidence. All abandoning him. Threatening to turn him back int the old Tyler; the one that couldn’t function without the booze and the pills. The one that willingly put his life on the line and took on whatever suicide mission he could; praying one day he’d catch a bullet and his miserable existence would be over.  

And he knows if he goes there...if he follows that path...this one will be lost to him forever.

“That hurt!” Millie pouts. “Why’d you do that?!”

“I didn’t mean to,” he attempts a lame apology. “I didn’t realize I was holding it that hard. I’m sorry,” he presses a kiss to the top of her head; right on the spot that she’s been gently rubbing.  He turns his attention back to the task at home, but finds his hands are now trembling; shaking with an intensity that both surprises and terrifies him, and he lets the brush fall to the table with a loud clatter. “Why don’t you go and get your mom to finish up,” he suggests, nervously wringing his hands together, tightly squeezing one, then the other; anxious for the tremors to stop. “She does a better job than I do.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Millie scoffs. “And she’s busy. With Addie.”

“I’m sure she’s got some time to finish your hair.”  Tyler sees the way Kyle is watching him; the way his head is cocked to the side and his are both curious and concerned. And he quickly shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Go ask.”

“I don’t want to,” his daughter argues. “I want you to do it. I want...”

“Amelia!” he snaps, harsher than he’d intended. “I said go and ask your mom!”

She blinks, then her mouth settles into a firm, grim line and tears glisten in her eyes. The guilt hits him immediately. She shouldn’t be the one paying the price for his issues; she doesn’t deserve to face the consequences of his burdens and his demons. She’s just a kid. A baby still. Innocent and pure. And none of this bullshit is her fault.

“Millie...I’m sorry...” he attempts to make amends as she shoves her chair backwards and springs to her feet.  “I didn’t mean to yell at you. I didn’t mean to...”

“Leave me alone!” she bellows, then stomps out of the room, both her angry, pounding footsteps and her sobs seeming to thunder through the house.

“Fuck me...” Tyler mutters, and rakes his hands through his hair and runs a palm down his face. The cravings are back; that crippling need for alcohol. Or the meds. Maybe even both.

“What the hell, man?” Kyle scowls. “That’s your fucking kid. Why talk to her like that?”

Tyler fixes him with a cold, harsh stare. “You need to mind your own fucking business.”

“That’s my niece. My sister is her mother. That makes Millie my business.”

“You don’t even have kids. Until you do, keep your mouth shut about mine. You don’t know what it’s like. This life. Being a dad.”

“I know that wasn’t you. That you’re not that kind of dad. The one that snaps on his kids. You’re usually the calm one. Patience of a saint. So what the fuck?”

Tyler sighs, hands on his hips as he briefly closes his eyes. There’s going to be hell to pay: a pissed off wife and a hurt, angry little girl. Kyle’s right. He IS usually the calm and patient one; he can count on one hand the amount of times he’s lost it on the kids. But his nerves are shot; the last remaining shred of sanity feeling as if it’s barely hanging on.

“You okay?” Kyle asks. “What was that with your hands? The shaking.”

“It’s the meds,” Tyler lies. “One of the side effects.”  

His hands used to twitch and move in his sleep; to the point it would wake Esme up.  She’d said it was like he was back on the battlefields in the Middle East or still on the job; hands and fingers going through the motions of handling a handgun or a rifle, loading magazines, pulling the trigger.  There are times it STILL happens. He can be completely relaxed while lying in bed or sitting on the couch or lounging on the beach and his right index finger moves on its own accord.  And he actually has to focus and concentrate on making it stop.  

“Haven’t you been on those for years?” his brother in law inquires. “If you’re still having side effects after this long, I’d get your ass to a doctor."

Tyler’s annoyed. On edge. And it causes him to immediately lash out. “Shouldn’t you still be out fucking the neighbor?”

Kyle smirks. “So now you’re going take your shit out on me? I may not be able to take you, but it won’t stop me from trying to kick your ass.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Tyler retorts. “Why are you even here?”

“Esme called me. Asked if I’d help Ovi with the kids while you guys went out for a while.”

“I don’t mean that. I mean why are you HERE? In Australia.”

“I’m here to see my sister. And my nieces and nephews. I don’t get to do that very much since you decided to just pack them up and move them to the other side of the goddamn world.”

Tyler scoffs. “Don’t start that shit with me. I didn’t force your sister to come here. I didn’t put a gun to her head or give her some kind of ultimatum. We decided this together. She was the one who suggested it.”

“Same way she suggested it the first time?”

He frowns. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m talking about when she decided to give up her entire life to stay here. For some guy she’d just met.”

“She gave up a life?” Tyler gives a dry laugh. “What life? A mother that’s treated her like shit for nearly her entire life? Who stayed friends with an ex-husband that that used to beat her and force himself on her? You mean THAT life? She had no fucking life.”

“And you gave her one?” Kyle challenges. “Some guy that saw her as nothing more than an easy fuck and spent five days taking advantage of that in some shit hole motel in Bangladesh. Who probably wasn’t even going to bother with her once he got out of there?”

“You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about. You have no idea what went down between me and Esme. Just what you want to believe. Or what mommy dearest put into your goddamn head.  I had every intention of continuing things with her. We had all kinds of plans; for what we were going to do after Dhaka. But we never got that chance, did we.”

“Yeah, how convenient,” Kyle snorts. “Things go completely to hell, she ends up staying here to play nursemaid to some guy she barely knew, finds out she’s knocked up...”

“Don’t talk about my wife or my kid like that,” Tyler interjects. “Don’t EVER talk about them like that.”

“And then you decide to do the right thing,” his brother in law continues. “The honorable thing. I’ll give you that much; you stepped up at least. You didn’t leave her alone and pregnant and make her a single mom.”

“Is that what you think I did? That I ‘stepped up’ and married her because of Millie? I married her because I loved her. And I stick around because I still love her. Because I’ll always love her.”

“Or because you’re too far in it now. Five kids make it pretty damn hard to walk away. Or is it your way of keeping HER from walking away? I mean, what better way to keep her around? Keep putting kids in her, keep her barefoot and pregnant...”

Tyler takes a step towards him; nostrils flaring, fists clenched at his sides. “You’re way out of fucking line, mate. Neither of us are stuck here. Either of us could walk away if we wanted to.”

“What mother is going to leave her kids? Tell me on mother who would do that. I’ll wait.”

“You think she sticks around because she feels like she has no other choice? Are you listening to yourself right now? You have no fucking clue what things are like between me and Esme. I stay because I love her. Because I want to spend the rest of my life with her. And I know...beyond the shadow of a fucking doubt...that she stays for the same reason. So fuck off with your bullshit. This is my house. You’re a guest here. So don’t walk in here like you own the place and start shit talking me. Or my wife. Or my kids. Because I will put you on your ass.”

“You threaten her like that, too? Is that how you keep her here? Scare her into being a perfect little submissive housewife? Does it make you feel like a big man picking on a little thing like her?”

Tyler’s nostrils flare once more; fists tightening so hard that the wounds on his knuckles -that he’s gained while working the heavy bag in the gym so hard- actually crack and begin to bleed. He feels how tense his shoulders are, how tight his jaw is clenched. And he knows Kyle is one more word...one more breath...away from getting himself into a situation he can’t possibly handle.

****

“That’s enough!”  Esme snaps from the doorway; holding a despondent Millie on her hip. The soon to be six-year-old is long and lanky; legs dangling well past her mother’s knees, toes almost touching her shins. “Kyle...what the hell...?”

“We were just having a discussion,” her brother says. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Bullshit. I was in the hallway. I heard almost all of your little discussion. How fucking dare you.”

“Mommy...” Millie mutters into her neck.  “...bad language.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Esme lays a hand on her daughter’s head and presses a kiss to her brow. “Do you think you could go outside for a little bit? Just for a few minutes. Mommy has some things to say and she doesn’t think you should hear them. Can you do that for me? Please?”

Millie nods.  

“Just for a few minutes,” her mother assures her, as she places her on the ground and then holds her face in her hands, pecking her lips. “And say out of the sand. You don’t want mess your dress up before grandpa gets to see it, okay?”

“Okay,” Millie agrees, and then sidestep her father’s hand when he reaches out for her. “No daddy. I’m still mad. I love you, but I don’t like you very much right now.”

“Wow...” Kyle comments, as his niece stomps from the room and throws the patio door open –and slams it closed- with enough force to rattle the glass pane. “Six-ish going on sixteen-ish. Wonder where she gets THAT attitude from.”

“First off, fuck you Kyle,” Esme snaps. “Fuck you and your self-righteous, mom like bullshit. Coming here and thinking you can say the shit I heard come out of your mouth.”

“What I said? You know what he said?” he gestures towards Tyler. “To his own kid?! How he made her cry?”

“Oh, she told me all about that. And believe me, Tyler is going to catch shit for it, and he knows it. When we’re alone and we don’t have nosey, judgmental assholes all up in our shit. It’s none of your goddamn business what goes on around here.”

“You’re my sister,” Kyle argue. “That makes it my business.”

“Like hell it does! I’m a grown ass woman. With children. So treat me like one. And second of all, fuck you again. For talking about me like you were. Never mind that, for talking to my husband like you were. Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Did you hear anything he said? Or just me?”

“He was defending me. Defending US. Don’t try throwing Tyler under the bus when I heard nearly every goddamn word.  An easy fuck? That's how you see your own sister?”

He sighs. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that...”

“Tyler didn’t take advantage of me. Not in the slightest. We were two consenting adult and we wanted to fuck each other so we did. What we did during those five days has no bearing on you. None whatsoever. You have no clue what went on. The things we talked about. The plans we made. And we had them. Plans. To get to know one another the right way. To travel and to spend time learning about one another. But we never got that chance.”

“Esme...I....”

“You weren’t in Dhaka,” she continues, and wanders over to the sink; dampening the dish cloth and offering it to Tyler; so he can clean the open wounds on his knuckles.  And he accepts it with a small, grateful smile and leans back against the island. “We were. You weren’t on that bridge You have no idea how bad things were and how bad things got and how worse they could have been. So keep your goddamn mouth shut about Dhaka.”

“All I was trying to say was...”

“I’m talking now, Kyle. It’s my turn. You’re in my house. And you will not disrespect me and you sure as hell will not disrespect the father of my kids. I stayed here after Dhaka because I wanted to. Because I wanted to be with Tyler. Because he needed someone to be there for him. Because busted his ass to get me out that god awful shitty mess and the least I could do was stick around and make sure he didn’t die alone. Because he almost did. Not just on that bridge, either. I stayed because I wanted to. Simple as that.”

“Fine,” Kyle throws his hands up in exasperation, and moves towards the patio door. “You did what YOU wanted. You didn’t care about the people you left behind. You were immature and selfish and...”

“You don’t get to walk away from me,” Esme steps in front of him. “You got yourself into this mess, you’re going stick with it until the bitter end. You come in here and talk shit? Well now you’re going to get it right back. I had a shitty ex-husband who liked to rape and beat on women and a narcissistic bitch of a mother and older brothers with their heads so far up her ass....”

“Baby...”  Tyler steps forward, using his shoulder to shove Kyle out of the way so he can stand in front of her; hand settling on her hip. “...settle down, okay? Just stay calm. I know you’re pissed...”

She ignores him. “I made a life for myself in Australia,” she informs her brother. “I became a wife and a mother and I’m sorry if you think that’s selfish of me for choosing that over my shitty existence in Colorado. And selfish? Because I did what I wanted for a change instead of what everyone else expected of me? That’s bullshit and you know it. You’re just upset I’m not under your thumb anymore. That’s all you’re pissed about. You and mom.”

“You’re going to resort to shit talking her? She’s practically on her death bed and you’re going to stoop that low?”

“I don’t give a shit about her. The second she wished death on my husband...the father of her grandchildren...it was over between us. She’s not my mother, Kyle. She hasn’t been my mother in years. Maybe she never was. And I don’t care that she’s dying. Maybe it’s karma. Maybe she finally is getting what she deserves.”

“Okay...that’s enough...” Tyler gently orders. “...let’s not say shit you know you’re going to regret.”

“It’s too late for that,” she says. “The second my brother opened his goddamn mouth when it comes to things he has no clue about. I’m not trapped here, Kyle. He's not some fucking predator like Mark was. What do you think Tyler’s doing? Hiding my birth control or poking holes in condoms just so he can get me pregnant? That is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard a lot of dumb shit in the past thirty-five years.”

“Baby....stop...this has gone too far...” Tyler’s hands are on the side of her face, thumbs brushing away the tears she hadn’t even realized she was shedding. “...stop, okay? You’ve said enough.”

“He has no clue! Absolutely no clue!”

“I know. And you getting this upset is not going to change that. Just let it go. It’s not worth it; getting this riled up.”

“He has no idea. What we’ve been through. What went down in Dhaka and on that bridge.”

“We don’t need to talk about that. He wasn’t there. He doesn’t know what happened. And he doesn’t need to know. It was almost seven years ago. Let’s not talk about Dhaka.”

“You almost died,” her words manage to come out through choked, angry sobs. “On a dirty fucking sidewalk with my fingers shoved in your neck trying to stop you from bleeding out. You almost died right in front of me.”  

“But I didn’t,” he firmly reminds her. “I’m here. I’m right here.”

“And you almost died in the hospital. During surgery. Twice. And he has the goddamn nerve to act like it was no big deal? That is so fucking disrespectful to you and what you went through and what you still go through.”

“Esme....” Kyle attempts to step around his brother in law but meets resistance. “I’m sorry.  I....”

“Don’t touch her,” Tyler calmly orders. “Don’t even talk to her. You have no clue what’s going on right now.  Stay out of it. I’ve got it under control.”

“You do? Because it doesn’t fucking look like it.”

“Would you just shut the fuck up and go and do something else while I deal with this? You have no clue what she’s talking about or why she’s talking about it.  So back off.”

“She’s my sister! If there’s something I can do for her...”

“Leave her alone. That’s the best thing you can do for her. Leave her alone and let me deal with it. It’s PTSD, you fucking idiot. You can’t just jump in and fix shit. Fuck. Just let me deal with it.”

  This hasn’t happened in months; where the mere mention of Dhaka triggers such a powerful reaction. The last time had been at the therapist’s office, when Esme was asked about her most painful memory of the last ten years. That had led to a full out meltdown complete with hyperventilating and vomiting. After that the therapist had helped them come up with ‘plan of attack’; highlighting the warning signs and how he could either help talk her down before things escalated, or calm things once they got out of control.

“I just want him to leave,” she struggles to draw breath. “Make him leave. Please.”

“He’s just worried about you,” Tyler attempts to reason. “He’s your brother and he loves you and he’s worried about you. Don’t even pay attention to him. Pretend he’s not even here. Pretend it’s just us in the room and no one else.”

“I can see him though,” panic is starting to set in. “I know he’s here.”

“Close your eyes, then,” Tyler cradles her face in his hands and tilts her head up towards him. “Just close your eyes and listen to my voice, okay?”

She nods, her hands coming up to tightly grip his forearms as she allows her eyes to flutter closed. And he presses a kiss to the bridge of her nose and rests his forehead against hers.

“It’s okay, baby...” his voice is quiet, keeping the volume low and the tone steady and soothing. “We’re not in Dhaka anymore. It’s over. It’s all behind us now. We don’t ever have to go back there. We made it out. Both of us. We’re both here. And that’s all that matters. We both made it.”

*****

Within minutes she’s settling; her body ceasing to tremble, her tears stopping, her breathing returning to normal.  And when the crisis has passed, sweat is glistening on her forehead and her skin is a pale, deathly gray.  

He kisses her forehead once more, followed by her lips.  “You okay now? You gonna be alright?”

Nodding, she manages a small smile.

“Go outside and get some air. You’ll feel better. I’ll get you some water and your meds, okay?”

“Okay,” she feebly agrees, and he places his lips against cheek and runs a hand over her hair.  

“Leave her,” he snarls at Kyle, when he attempts to step into her path. “For fuck sake, just leave her alone.”

Kyle backs off, holding his hands up in surrender. Then waits for his sister to step and is out of earshot before speaking again. “What the hell was that?” he asks, as he follows Tyler into further into the kitchen. “Like what the fuck?”

“It happens every so often when she’s stressed about something. Usually it has to do with Dhaka. When some fucking shit for brains brings it up.”

“Jesus Christ,” Kyle mutters. “Was it really that bad?”

Tyler scoffs. “Oh, I don’t know, mate. She had to stick her fingers in my neck so she could pinch a vein off to stop me from bleeding out all over her. What do you think?”

“I guess I didn’t. Think.”

“Yeah no shit. You have no idea what went down over there. Everything she went through. Everything she saw. Especially on that bridge. So do me a favor and don’t bring it up. Ever.”

“I never realized it was THAT bad, I guess.”

“How could you not have realized it? You know I almost fucking died. That she was the one that saved me. She’s your sister. How could you not realize that would have fucked her right up?”  He yanks the fridge open, snagging a bottle of water before shutting the door with his hip, then grabs a prescription bottle from a cupboard near the stove.  “She was dealing with it just fine until all this shit with Ovi started. And let’s not even get into what happened when Nik decided to pop back up.”

“You know she says you guys were fucking, right? Within the last six and a half years. Since you and Esme got married. She told me. That you her and have been hooking up.  Least a dozen times. If not more.”

“She’s full of shit. I haven’t fucking touched her since I met your sister. I wouldn’t cheat on my wife. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not a cheater.”

“I’m not saying I believe her. Not in the slightest. I don’t think you would. Fuck around on Esme. I mean you’ve done some shitty things, but I don’t think you’d do THAT.”

“I wouldn’t. Ever. Not even in the six months when we were separated did I even think about cheating on her, let alone actually do it. I’m not crazy. I know what I have. I’m not losing it.”

Kyle nods slowly as he considers Tyler’s words. “I just thought you should know. In case she calls her or shows up trying to cause shit.”

Tyler’s eyes narrow. “What the fuck have you done?”

“What I should have done that night after Esme called Nik out at dinner. I told her it was over That it just wasn’t going to work. That we’re just too different and her career doesn’t exactly leave room for a marriage, let alone a successful one.”

“So it’s done? Totally? You and her?”

“It never should have started in the first place. It was a bitch move. Getting mixed up with someone who tried to ruin my sister’s life.”

Tyler smirks. “You think?”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad she didn’t. Screw things up with you and Esme. I mean, you can be a real dick, but I know you love her. And I know she’s happy here. That she’s happy with her life. As a wife and a mother.”

“I like to think she is. Happy. And she’s amazing at both. I’m lucky. Even if that’s something I don’t say often enough.”

“It’s all I want for her, you know. To be happy. Especially after all that shit with Mark.”

“We try not to talk about that around here either. And look, no offence, but when I tell you I’m dealing with something...when I say I’ve got things under control...fucking listen to me the next time. Because I live with her. I’ve been living with her for almost seven years now. I’ve been the one with her through all the bullshit and all the hard times. All the nightmares and the panic attacks and the freak outs. I’ve been the one dealing with all of that. You just made shit worse. I would have had her talked down a lot sooner but you just kept escalating shit. When I tell you to back off, just do it.”

“Fair enough,” Kyle agrees.

“You and the neighbor, huh? Is that the real reason you broke things off with Nik?”

Kyle follows him through the kitchen, out into the living room and towards the patio door. “There’s nothing between Salena and I. Nothing serious, anyway. We’re just having a good time.”

Tyler smirks. “You mean your dick’s having a good time.”

Kyle gives a sly grin.

“Mine had a good time last time last night too, so...”

“Jesus Christ,” his brother in law scowls. “That’s my sister.”

“I’ve made five kids with your sister. I think it’s obvious we have sex.”

“Doesn’t mean I want to hear about it. Or think about it.”

“Look...” Tyler pauses, fingers curling around the handle of patio door.  “I don’t know what’s going on with you and the neighbor and I honestly don’t give a shit, but I’m going to be pissed if Nik shows up to cause problems. I don’t need that crap. Esme especially doesn’t need it. We’ve got enough going on without having to put up with her.”

“I told her not to bother you guys. To leave you both out of it.”

“Yeah? And when does Nik ever do what she’s told? You trying to tell her what to do probably just pissed her off even more. I just don’t want that shit here. Around my wife and my kids.”

“Think she’ll call Esme? Tell her the same thing you told me? That you guys were hooking up.”

“She better hope she doesn’t. And you better not say anything to your sister, either. Because it’s not true. I’ve never cheated on her. I never will. So if you don’t keep your mouth shut....”

“Won’t say a word,” Kyle promises. “I don’t understand how it even got this far. Nik wanting on your dick for this long.”

“Well if you saw my dick, you’d understand. I mean, it’s kept your sister around, right?”

Kyle smirks. “So did she catch the feels or something? Nik?”

“Guess so.”

“But you never did.”

“I never saw her as anything more than a boss or a friend. We used to fuck. That’s it. Nothing serious. I never wanted it to be. She never got like this until after Esme and I got together. It pissed her off that we were fucking on the job. And then it pissed her off even more when things went further than that. Guess she thought I’d never settle down.”

“Or if you did, you’d settle down with her.”

“Who knows. Doesn’t matter anyway. I never saw her that way. I never saw anyone that way until your sister came along. I’d already done the marriage thing. Once was enough. I pretty much avoid forming any kind of connection with someone. No one needed to get mixed up in that kind of mess.  Never met a woman that could put with it; the job and everything that came with it. It needed to be someone pretty fucking strong. No one I ever met fit that bill.”

“Weak women need not apply, huh?”

“Pretty much. Then your sister came along and...”  he shrugs. “...I don’t know...here we are.”

“Almost seven years and five kids later,” Kyle concludes. “Think there might be a six?”

“Why are you so hung up on us having another kid? Addie's only three weeks. Still new.”

“Make it a nice even number,” Kyle reasons. “Half a dozen. You haven’t thought about it?”

“A couple times, maybe.”

That’s a lie; over the past three days he’s thought about it at least a few dozen times. But he’s not sure if he actually wants a sixth one, or that the idea of getting dragged back into the unpredictability and the danger of the job makes him feel as if he NEEDS to have another. A way of ‘cementing his legacy’.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to talk your sister into it,” Tyler says. “She already gave in the last two times I changed my mind.”

“This thing that happened...” Kyle gazes out the window, nodding towards where his sister sits at the top of the patio stairs, arms wrapped around her slender form. “...the PTSD or whatever. She’ll be okay, right?”

“She usually is. Takes about a half hour, hour, before she’s back to normal.”

“Will it ever go away? Or is just something she’ll have to learn to live with?”

“It’s pretty damn permanent,” Tyler reluctantly admits.

And he both blames and hates himself for it.

[darklortt]

Story time!!!!

Ok so I was dating this girl (met her on a set, she’s an actress I was producing something blah blah) and it was kind of weird like she and I were not official but we were fucking around a lot. It was a lot of back and forth and she ended up cheating on me and sleeping with her ex. So then I was like well fuck you, but also I was deeply in love with her so I wanted her around.

Cut to like a couple weeks later and I’m meeting her boyfriend and she’s like, “we should all date or something”. So we all start hanging out but like no one is fucking and she’s like I wanna see you guys kiss. So we do and I’m a lesbian so I’m like not that into it but I love this girl so whatever. Then she gets mad and jealous. We go back and forth about it for awhile but eventually she gets on board after a few days. At one point we all did end up having sex and she was pissed and was like I don’t know who I’m more jealous of you or him!!! And then it gets crazy and dramatic and she starts saying she doesn’t want to be with me but then he’s like well I’m not dating you if you stop dating her!!! And I’m like crying most of these days cause I love her but she’s clearly wanting to be with him alone. I drink a lot during this time. After days of us all fighting he’s like no I’m leaving this triad and I want you guys to be together and be happy. And she’s mad so she breaks up with me. So then he and I go live in his art gallery in this small mountain town where everyone is an artist. I’m desperately still in love with the girl from the triad but I know I have to move on. He and I live there for a couple weeks (as friends) before I meet one of his biggest buyers. She’s so fucking hot. Dark eyes dark hair middle aged. She is everything young lesbians fantasize about. But she is married to another artist guy who is pretty well known. I’m like ok she’s gonna be a challenge. I’m a horrible person I know but I was so so very broken. Anyways, I’m warned by everyone and their mother that this woman is a Scorpio and she will end up stinging me to death at some point. I don’t listen.

We go to her MASSIVE house one night for an after party of some event. She’s a psychiatrist (also a turn on) and there was a film made about suicide and she’s speaking at a panel afterwards. Whatever we get to her house and everyone gets plastered. The guy I’m living with has friends in from NY that he met at Burning Man. They’re cool. We’re all drunk and suddenly me and said psychiatrist are making out. Guy I’m living with gets mad and starts pouting in the corner. She and i go upstairs and then the people from NY follow us. Her walls are littered with guy I’m living with’s paintings. We all get into her fucking shower and have sex. She and I spend the night together and many nights and days after that. Shit hits the fan with dude I’m living with. Over the next two weeks he is mad that I’m spending so much time with the psychiatrist and I eventually move out and into her house (her husband is out of town working on a commissioned painting for a couple months) she and I fuck around, she spends money on me, feeds me, calls me “my girl”, and I become her assistant.

We work together for a few months, meanwhile I see how she treats people. She yells at service folks making them feel like shit at every turn if they don’t get something right. She is a Karen in every way, demanding to speak to a higher up on every phone call. She starts nitpicking my appearance, telling me to wear makeup and not “look a mess”. She is still initiating sex with me, but is careful not to let anyone find out. I hate myself so I continue to fuck her and be treated like shit. I find out she is actually evil. Her husband comes home and she is treating me like shit as usual, yelling at me telling me I owe her for everything she’s done for me every day. I get pushed out into her guest house the day he gets home (we never have sex again) and she starts telling me I need to pay her to live there. Meanwhile her husband takes me under his wing and tries to teach me dad things like fixing a bike. I start to look for a new place to live because I find out her daughter had an abortion and psychiatrist lady called the boy who got her daughter pregnant and told his family that she had an abortion (they’re catholic) just to shit on her daughter. I find out she also has been spying on her husband and set up cameras in his studio and apartment to catch him cheating on her (she later gets divorced). I tell her I’m quitting as her assistant and moving back to the city and she tells me that I’m a horrible person and that I need to get my shit together and that I have “mental problems”. She tells me “fuck the two weeks” and that I needed to move out of her guest house as soon as possible. I go to move out that day and she sweetly comes up to me and says, “well I didn’t mean you had to leave now”. And I quickly grab all my shit because I’ve seen her do some crazy shit and know she could stab me at any point and no one would find my body. She proceeds to send me messages saying she misses me with 💋 emojis FOR MONTHS and I never reply. I block her number and DONT talk to her again. Im still friends with the original gf from the triad and now we laugh about how fucked up and wild those times were. I honestly can’t believe this shit happened sometimes. Anyways. Watch out for scorpios.

[goddessofthundathighs]

INTERLUDE I: NOLA MEETS ERIK

July 2003

“Are you sure you want to go to school all the way in Los Angeles?” Papa Simon asked from my doorway as I began packing up my room.

“Dad, we’ve had this conversation already. This is my dream school and they gave me a full-ride scholarship. How could I possibly turn it down?”

“I know, Skybear, but Papa Ruben and I are gonna miss you so much. You’ve never gone this far away before.”

“You’re right, I haven’t but that’s all the more reason for me to go, right? I have dreams and things that I want to accomplish and unfortunately, I can’t accomplish them here.”

“Simon, leave that girl alone. She knows what she’s doing and we’re only a phone call and a plane ride away should she ever decide she wants to come back home, right baby?” I smiled wide, knowing my Papa Ruben would always come through with the defense.

“Right, Daddy. I love you both.”

“And we love you too, sweetheart. Let’s get these bags packed.”

----------------

Present Day

“Sky!”

“What?!” My head snapped up quickly, completely distorting the design I was currently working on. I was testing a 3D dildo generator for my website. The tool would basically allow potential shoppers to design their own dildo or strap-on and it would be 3D printed and shipped to them. Thanks to Shea and her outburst, mine was now a whopping 15 inches long.. whoops.

“My bad, didn’t mean to scare you, you just didn’t answer my question.”

“Repeat it, I was working on something.”

“I asked how you and Dr. Nigga met. Y’all strike me as failed lovers.” I laughed at her comparison. She was partially right, but there was more to it than that.

“We weren’t lovers, but we have messed around. We went to the same college, The Sigmund Freud School of Psychology and Psychosexuality in LA. He was a sophomore, and I was technically a freshman although I had already taken all of my gen-ed classes thanks to a dual enrollment program at my high school. He was helping the underclassmen move into their dorms and as soon as my dad laid eyes on him, he goes ‘He looks like his dick ruins lives’.” O’Shea cackled, nodding her head in agreeance.

“Was that Papa Ruben? I feel like Papa Ruben said that and Papa Ruben is never wrong.” I nodded, because she was right. One thing about my dad, he could always spot a snake in the grass and his accuracy was unmatched.

“That was definitely Papa Ruben and all me and Papa Simon did was laugh because although it was hot outside, he still looked like a super fuck nigga. He had on a black muscle shirt, body and tattoos gleaming because of sweat, black and red basketball shorts with matching Jordans and that damn Cuban around his neck.”

“Wait that nigga got tattoos?!”

“Yesh.”

“Did he have the fronts back then too?”

“Yes ma’am, but he had top and bottom ones. A bitch was hot!” I explained, fanning myself. “Anyway, he comes over and introduces himself to my dads before taking my trunk of clothes from Papa Simon. He smiled that pretty ass smile at me and in true Erik fashion, tried to flirt. Now mind you, I definitely thought this nigga was fine as fuck, but back then I was still figuring out who I was and what I liked so I lowkey dismissed him. Not on purpose, but it happened. To my surprise, he simply laughed it off and continued helping me take my stuff to my room. He even mounted my tv and showed me where my classes were. Like he was a genuinely nice guy. Fast forward to the second semester of my freshman year, we have the same psychology class because, again, I had already taken all my gen-ed classes. We were almost always paired together on projects because of our intelligence, another reason his ass stayed trying to holla. One day he asked me why I never responded to his advances, seeing as how it was clear that I was feeling him. Which I was, but I was also feeling someone else too, I just didn’t know how to tell him. I avoided him and the question for about a week until he cornered me in the library and demanded that I give him an answer. I smiled sweetly, looked him square in the eye and told him that I wanted to fuck his girlfriend.” I looked over at O’Shea and she looked back at me like I had grown 3 heads.

“Bitch no you didn’t tell him that!”

“What? He asked, hell. This was like the second semester of my sophomore year and by this time I had had a few girls and boys and I realized that I preferred women because they were softer and I understood them better. I didn’t and still don’t have time for the fragile ego of a man.”

“So what did he say to that?” I paused briefly, thinking back to that night in the library.

“Did you seriously just tell me that the reason you don’t wanna fuck wit a nigga is because you wanna fuck my girl? What kinda shit is that, Nola?”

“You asked. I figured you wanted my honest answer.” He kept me pinned against the bookshelf, his eyes searching mine for any hint of a lie. He finally let me go once he found none.

“You something else, Nola.”

“My parents named me Skylar.”

“And your best friend named you Nola. See you in class.” He winked at me, flashing that million dollar smile and walked out of the library, leaving me a little more than hot and bothered.

“He laughed and told me that I was something serious and let me go on about my business. At some point during my junior year we developed a friends with benefits type relationship because 1.) We were both single and wanted to remain single and 2.) His dick was very bomb. I even taught him how to eat pussy.

“You taught him that?!”

“Yes ma’am. At first all he would do was rub and suck the clit aggressively. I was the one that taught him that he had to lick every part of the pussy, get it nice and wet and flick the clit with his tongue.”

“Ok, you can stop talking now. I haven’t talked to this nigga all day and I intend to keep it that way,” Shea interrupted, crossing her legs.

“Papa Simon was kinda disappointed that we didn’t end up together, but he also loved my ex, so I guess it balanced out.”

“I was meaning to ask, what happened with that?”

“That’s another story for another day,” I concluded, not wanting to take a dive into my feels especially since I had so much to work on.

“Ok so tomorrow then?” She tried again. I shook my head, knowing this conversation wouldn’t die until I spilled the beans about Monica.

“Fine, I’ll tell you tomorrow, now tell me about your date with Fathead.” Shea rolled her eyes, as she had been actively avoiding this conversation, not wanting to relieve the horrific incident that she was sure almost ended whatever it was she had going with Erik.

“It started off fairly well with him teasing me about how much I love ice cream and him calling me a child because I wanted to watch Hercules.”

“Fuckin’ child,” I responded out of habit.

“Shut up! That’s the same thing he said!” O’Shea pouted, crossing her arms over her chest for further emphasis of her point.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Please continue,” I coaxed, rubbing her arm to let her know I was done being an ass.

“Anyway, we basically had a whole Disney marathon. We watched Hercules, then Mulan, then The Emperor’s New Groove and were getting dummy high the whole time. So midway through Kuzco’s shenanigans, I tried my luck with him again because I saw how mellow he got when he was high. Like I was even able to fully appreciate how good he looked when he wasn’t in a suit and tie. Your best friend is a work of art, sis.”

“Oh, I know,” I said with a smirk.

“So I’m just sitting there, practically drooling over the bulge in his pants and this nigga looks at me with the straightest face and asks if I’m gonna suck it or just stare at it.”

“And I oop! That wasn’t Erik, sis. That was Killmonger.”

“Who?”

“Don’t worry about it, finish the story.”

“So, not one to back down from a challenge, I dropped to my knees and started doing the Lord’s work. He’s loving the shit, too. He’s cursing and moaning and praising me, telling me how much of a good job I’m doing. The shit was great. Then just as I was finding my groove, I fucked up.”

“What you mean you fucked up?” O’Shea paused and I could tell that she was having a hard time continuing, but she did anyway.

“I’m not sure how it happened, but his dick got caught in my braces.” I didn’t want to, but I simply could not help the screech that left my lips at the mental image of Erik losing his shit about his dick being caught in her braces.

“Did he cry?” I managed to choke out through my laughing fit.

“No, but he was pissed. Like so pissed that he got up and left.” I stopped laughing then. How dare he leave her in such a vulnerable state knowing what he knows about her little personalities and how they operate. Shea must’ve caught my mood change and quickly came to his defense.

“He made up for it, though! He came and picked me up and we talked about it and then we went and got ice cream.”

“Of course he made up with ice cream.”

“Aaand he took me to Disneyland and got me this.” She held up her wrist so that I could see the charm bracelet in all of its glory.

“Oh that’s beautiful. I’ll be back in a little bit, I have a 12:00 meeting with Dr. Nigga.” I quickly grabbed my bag and keys and headed out the door. Dr. Stevens and I had a few things that needed discussing.

TAGS:

@vikkidc @thadelightfulone @sydneebleu @trevantesbrat @madamslayyy @chaneajoyyy @jozigrrl @thehomierobbstark @amethyst1993 @iamrheaspeaks @mareethequeen @forbeautyandlife @whatmoredoyouwantamericaa @blowmymbackout @wakanda-inspired @yaachtynoboat711 @nickidub718 @heyauntieeee @princessstevens @bartierbakarimobisson @xaviera108 @alexundefined @raysunshine78 @dameshaemonique @laketaj24 @youreadthatright @theogbadbitch @bugngiz @amirra88 @post-woke @im5ftbutmythroat66 @blackpinup22 @beaut1fulone-blog @chefjessypooh @queengidiva619 @love-me22 @pending-lostheart @blessyd-bthyname @unholyxcumbucket @eclecticblkgirl @kissmyafropuff @honey-poooh @diva-Princess-on-fleek @heybriheyyy @maya-leche

[natsunoomoi]

Chinese Romance Novels in English

So by chance and obviously successful marketing, I’ve had a lot of web novel apps being advertised to me and out of boredom I downloaded one and got hooked real bad.

The first app I got I think I might delete because most of it seems like trash and was clearly like American wannabe writers. I kind of just read the first few chapters of one story that they happened to put into an advertised Facebook post and I just wanted to continue the story 1 or 2 chapters just to get off the cliffhanger, but the story itself actually isn’t that good and the character motivations seem kind of stupid. The main character also seems kind of like a Mary Sue where like she is just special by some huge coincidence of fate and it’s kind of annoying. Like the beginning part was alright, and then it took a sharp turn when the first guy she was into that rejected her decided for some stupid reason to challenge her new guy who accepted her and then when he claimed to not concede a fight to the death, he went absolutely apeshit and somehow it traveled into dark magic. Idek. Plus like...almost all the stories on that app for some reason have to do with wolf people and packs? Like it’s obviously some kind of trend inspired from Jacob and Twilight and I don’t even like that series. And in addition to that, it’s like on par with the famously former Twilight fanfiction 50 Shades where it has some really uncomfortable unhealthy depictions of BDSM relationships. Like it’s just kind of thrown in there for no reason...? Like whatever floats your boat, but you can totally write it in there in a more sensible way and not just like throw it in randomly. In that sense, maybe it’s actually worse than 50 Shades. Seriously a lot of the stories on there read like horribly written fanfiction by a 12 year old. I was 12 once and my stories then were no better because I had too many ideas and wanted them all in. That’s how much of a mess those stories are. This one I just mentioned is the better one. There’s another one I started reading that’s much worse that’s like a high school drama that I barely remember the story too, but I remember the person putting in a whole ton of One Direction lyrics, which I think is going to get the person and the app sued because lyrics are copyrighted and the writer shamelessly pointed out they are a Directioner and to unlock new chapters you need certain items that you can earn or buy and basically they’re definitely making money off of it.

But then similar to how I found this app, I found another app that had Chinese romance novels translated into English in the same way I found the previously mentioned app through a Facebook ad, which is cool cuz I don’t often get to read literally anything with main characters that are Chinese let alone Asian. Most of the Asian protagonist media I consume is from Japan and I just gave up on looking up anything in Chinese cuz I honestly didn’t know I could find any in English.

But damn, the quality of writing is rather good. The translations could use some work and consistency where sometimes the translator doesn’t know common English expressions or there’s grammatical mistakes in newer chapters or sometimes I think they’re speed translating too fast and accidentally mix up characters. But the story itself is top notch and suspenseful. I’ve been reading non-stop for the last week and a half and caught up and am awaiting new chapters. Sometimes there’s bits where character decisions are a little frustrating or like some of the plot twists are like again or like how come this person can’t catch a break, but I got invested in the story so quick.

There’s two in particular I’m enjoying right now. One is Irresistible Romance and the other is Thorny First Marriage on Bravonovel. It’s actually a bit pricey to charge for diamonds and pearls to continue the story, but I felt like it was worth it because I did want to read more and didn’t regret it. I actually started a third today just because I ran out of chapters in those two. Both are similar in that the male lead that the female protagonist is with or trying to get with is like a rich Chinese business man that is so well-known for their business acumen and power via their company that they can strike fear into the hearts of other people and companies. So there’s like some intrigue and like really fascinating maneuvers and media manipulation.

In Irresistible Romance, the main character is an actress that had a really shitty relationship with the loser President of her management company who was cheating on her with another actress and he had convinced his fiancee (the main character) to basically give up her life for him and help him to push the actress that he was ultimately having an affair with. The main character, Yan Wen, gives up the final straw when like he ditches her at the Marriage Registration Office for some lame excuse where he’s with his mistress and by chance the rich guy in this story shows up at the Registration Office and gets stood up by his own prospective fiancee although for him it was a random girl he picked from a pile just to satisfy his family getting on his case about not finding a wife. So basically because the main character grows a spine and decides fuck her fiance she’s not going to just take his bullshit, she asks the rich guy, Jiang Sui-an, if he’d mind marrying her. He totally accepts though and they get married on the spot. He seems at first to be kind of a cold-hearted jerk, but he’s actually super cool. Like he marries Yan Wen just to get his family off his back, but then after he does some research into his wife and finds her super interesting and as she begins her journey of trying to take back her life from her ex-fiancee and his stuck up bitch mistress, he like finds out and helps from the shadows and like realizes she’s actually super cool too. And then like through the whole process they actually fall for each other and are super sweet and have each other’s backs. They have a really beautiful and healthy relationship where they can each have their own separate lives and do their thing, but they get supported and help when needed.

It was so refreshing cuz like the rich CEO thing was like a huge fetish for sure especially after 50 Shades, but like a lot of people noted, that relationship was hella unhealthy. This story though, Sui-an lets Wen take her time fixing her career and life in her own way and like postpones announcing their marriage so she can set things right herself. He totally supports her space and her own decisions, but if he ever sees that she needs an extra boost or gets backed into a corner by some unexpected thing, he steps up and lends a hand. But ultimately he leaves everything up to her decision. And like on her end too, she’s totally a really good supportive wife and tries to make sure she doesn’t worry him too much and that he gets plenty of sleep and eats regularly, and she even tries to help him where she can with his work. They are so cute together. Along the way a lot of other people try to defame Wen or pull some shady entertainment world tactics, but she stays poised and lets the truth come out on its own or even does some defensive research and stuff. It’s so good.

Plus, writing-wise it’s really fascinating how they intertwine the online commentary tabloid headlines into the story so you can see different angles. And then when they write the antagonists’ sides they give you their internal dialog POV so you can understand the situation the best. The actual story and plot development is so good.

Then Thorny First Marriage, holy shit the intrigue. Plus for the most part, the main character is most like my personality only I’m not a former journalist. It’s just a lot of her reactions and sassy thoughts to things are really similar to me and how I feel like I would react if I was in her position. There’s a few times where she does things that I don’t think I would necessarily do or I would do things a bit more drastically, but so good and I identify with her. Writing-wise I don’t think it’s as good as Irresistible Romance because there’s been two times where they kind of forgot about something that they mentioned in an earlier chapter, so they have some issues keeping track of their plot twists, and there’s a few times where I’m reading like, “Why don’t you just tell them what happened and then they’d STFU?”

But yeah, this story starts out with the main character, Xia Zhi, waking up in the presidential suite of a hotel and not knowing how she got there and distinctly feeling like she was raped and finding some...remnants on the bed next to her. As the plot develops you find out that her asshole husband, who had never touched her himself for some reason and has the spine of jellyfish, sold her to some rich guy for 2 million bucks (she finds out later). What the actual hell? What kind of husband pimps his wife to another man?! And like she gets a pregnancy test later and somehow someone blabs to her mother-in-law and her mother-in-law totally doesn’t believe her and she knows that her son and her were never intimate, so she throws her out of the house. Then some dude that’s like some kind of secretary or assistant just comes by all stalker-like that appears to be from some rich guy that knows her and basically coerces her into going with them and going to some mystery safe house mansion. She’ll be cared for there by two staff, but she also tries to escape and find out who tf this guy is and if he’s the Dad. She still has a job and goes to work as a journalist, but gets assigned to interview some rich VP of a famous company. All the while she’s trying to get a hold of her asshole husband to find out what the hell happened to her that night she didn’t remember where she got super frickin’ drunk at his company party. This dick has been in hiding and trying to avoid her for some reason since that night and he finally calls back in the middle of her interview and because she’s freaking out about her unexplained pregnancy she unprofessionally takes the call. The rich VP, Sang Qi, ends up calling her boss and getting her fired, which I mean, obviously. That’s a thing where I probably wouldn’t have taken the call. One of the differentiating things between her and me. But how she reacts to being fired, yeah, that’s totally me. She runs into Sang Qi later at a rich people shopping mall shop and somehow manages to steal his phone and starts a plotline where she tries to use it as leverage to like get back at him and make a living for herself that also involves him being crafty and like kind of tricking her into some situations like confronting her ex-husband. And then like at some point she remembers a custom cufflink she remembered finding in the room she woke up in that one time and starts to wonder and suspect if maybe Sang Qi was the guy cuz he does have those kinds of things. And she like looks at the cufflink she has that she took from the room as evidence, but she has to do a direct comparison. He like uses GPS to find her mansion prison and tries to take back his phone and Zhi gets like even more suspicious that he is the guy cuz for some reason he knows how the balcony door at the place works even though it has a weird af lock, and they have witty banter and somehow he ends up staying over and she tries to sneak in his room at night to check out his cufflink but he catches her. And like hot damn, so much intrigue. After like a ton of frustration with trying to interrogate everyone around her about who the baby Daddy is she’s just like f it, I’m not going to be your baby incubator and tries to go get an abortion (I would’ve gone way sooner) and before they can start the procedure Sang Qi shows up and claims to be the Dad, and then afterward also takes care of her because she’s allergic to anesthetic. Since she knows who now they like stay together and stuff and she tries to question him about that night, but he actually has no memory of it either cuz he was super frickin’ drunk too. It’s just a lot of unanswered questions. And like since he’s supposedly the Dad, he tries to get closer to her, but she won’t let him really. There’s a lot of witty banter between them and like he even helps her out with her loser husband by getting him demoted. Over time they actually become fond of each other and like used to each other, and it’s really sweet. He actually is there for her and helps her on a number of occasions even though she doesn’t really trust him cuz of course he bought her right? But then little by little you see them really start to like each other and it seems like he might be more interested whereas Zhi is like more reserved because he’s her captor as far as she knows. But then just when you think that maybe they’ll get together, Qi disappears and then the process of him showing up you find out who the actual Dad is and a whole lot of family drama, and other drama where like you actually don’t know where Qi stands, and it like isn’t until like where I am that you find out he was actually upright the whole time. It’s so stressful but it’s so good.

There was a couple of times earlier one where there’s misunderstandings with other people, where I was like, dude, just tell the people your asshole husband sold you for money. I think they’d be more understanding of your situation if they knew.

And then like...for me, I like Qi and I came around to him after awhile, but like I suspected him and didn’t like him toward the beginning especially because he didn’t do or say anything that made him seem trustworthy. He never really lies except for one thing (about being the father), but also he like isn’t that truthful either, or rather, he doesn’t stop to actually explain himself properly which would have made Zhi not like freak out or mistrust him and would have made me not mistrust him. Like I shared a lot of Zhi’s fears because she was in an unfamiliar situation and being manipulated like a puppet by someone with money, and this guy claims to be the one that bought her like an object to be a baby incubator. I and the main character can’t respect that no matter how nice he is. If he admit he didn’t do it at the beginning it would have made all the difference. It’s a trek to find out who though. And at first even that guy sounds disgusting, but like where I am in the story maybe not? Like almost sympathetic.

The only one that I like really hate and disgusts me is her original husband. Like eww. He’s such a greedy asshole. And like later on you find out that actually he lied to her about how much he sold her for and it was actually more. What the actual fuck?! It wasn’t bad enough that you sold your wife for money, but you had to lie to her too about how much it was so you can hide the money from her? And for such a long frickin’ time he tried to coax her to come back and to not divorce him. What the actual hell? What kind of delusion is he living in?! But like also her original husband reminds me of someone I knew in real life when I was in uni. He was a friend of mine initially, but at some point he started making really uncomfortable jokes and it seemed like he liked me or something. I never viewed him that way, but we just hung out. And then at my uni because there was a huge rush to like try to figure out 2nd year housing, we arranged to do a co-ed roommate situation where like me and another girl and him and his friend would stay in apartment from our second year. To me that seemed normal cuz other friends of mine did that too because there’s only so many people you know and you have to try to snatch up and apply for apartments as soon as possible. There were long wait lines and I actually hadn’t thought about it until the last minute, so I didn’t see it as having much of a choice. But he started making cracks and fantasizing about neighbors and people misunderstanding and thinking we were married, which I didn’t find funny and how and why when there were other people we were living with too? It made me super uncomfortable and during the summer he was kind of like a stalker and tracking where I went so I just started avoiding him every chance I could. After awhile thinking about him made me feel physically ill. The next year after that my roommate decided to move out with two other girls into a different apartment (after unsuccessfully trying to make him leave). But the whole thing with how Zhi’s first husband was written totally reminded me of that guy. Especially with the lame excuses when confronted and stuff and not thinking and his unhealthy tie to his parents’ way of living.

That said, finding these stories are kind of like an unexpected comfort. I wish I could find someone as supportive as Sui-an or Qi. Especially when the men I’ve met in my life were just as bad as some of the other male characters or arguably worse. I’ve been bullied by the guys I fell for, I’ve liked some guys that were way too moody, I’ve had guys that liked me that were not creepy too, but I just wasn’t interested in them or the timing was just wrong, I’ve given up someone I really cared for because a mutual friend of ours crossed a line and then posthumously went kind of crazy from the grief, and I’ve met guys that were really fucking stupid and didn’t know how to act appropriately in a professional situation and actually sexually harassed and retaliated against me. I’m so tired and almost 4 years into living in Japan, I’m starting to realize that because of that last one, I think I gave up on my life because of trauma. Just hurt too many times, so don’t even think about love anymore cuz why bother? It took awhile for me to even be able to become a functioning human being again after the PTSD of harassment. I was really bad and freaking out because the guy that did it was so frickin’ stupid that he like wasn’t actually responsible enough to know the things he shouldn’t do and it was freaking me the hell out that he just didn’t know when he crossed a line. So I ran away to another country and tried to rebuild some semblance of a life for myself. Now my home country is a goddamn mess and I’d be in a worse position to go home, but at the same time, although my heart has healed enough to the point that I can function as a human. I am not at all motivated to look for anyone or let myself care for someone ever again. When I was younger I had so many dreams and really wanted a family. But now I am sad to say I have resigned myself to believing that that will probably never happen because I am apparently plagued by horrible people. I haven’t met horrible people since I’ve been in Japan, but I also don’t go out and talk to anyone other than co-workers and students because I’m busy and in my free time I want to introvert. It’d be kind of nice if I was lucky and had a kind of random chance like Yan Wen cuz like, I just can’t and don’t want to put up with low quality people.

That said, I was talking with my boss and co-worker the other day and we were discussing how China’s population problem with the bachelor society so there’s a lot of men but less available women to be their wife, so I was kind of wondering if that was also kind of how come so many modern day Chinese romance novels seem to involve a rich CEO. I suppose in China right now the chance that you could marry one is greater than anywhere else in the world because of the population problem, so maybe they’re trying to promote moving there and marrying them. LOL I’d be kind of suspicious of whether or not they’d be able to be like actually good husbands for real, but I suppose there probably is some sense of desperation.

And then because I ran out of chapters to read for today because I have to wait for them to translate more, I started another one about a Bossy Ghost Husband? It’s kind of creepy at the beginning, but the ghost husband thing has been something I was kind of curious about because you can marry the dead in China. But like for real I also wondered if youkai really are real or not and if you could unknowingly marry a youkai or something too, so basically it’s right up my alley too. And then also because my life is garbage I was like seriously thinking and wondering if it would actually be so bad to be single to the people who know you around you, but married actually to a ghost and have a ghost husband to go home to? Like would that actually be bad? I suppose in that same vein, it’s not much different from WoL having a secret relationship with Emet-Selch, but yeah.

Anyway, all of this gave me a lot to think about.

[taronfanfic]

Fast Forward

Chapter 8

“Wait, so you didn’t actually tell them?”

“We were economical with the truth, put it that way.” Taron replied to Rosie before finishing the last dregs of his pint and then offering to get the next round in. After what could only be described as a stressful weekend you called the gang together for a midweek drink, or 5, in the pub and they were eager to hear about the drama that came with Taron meeting your parents for the first time.

It felt so good to be back to your normal routine for a few days. You could focus clearly on your work and not come home feeling utterly exhausted and stressed out with worry. Taron had returned to his usual self too; he’d stopped looking at you with his adorable face of concern and was happier to leave your side for more than 10 minutes in the evenings. It was cute to see how much he cared about you, and how badly he wanted to be able to make everything okay for you. But at the same time he’d been smothering you and barely giving you chance to breathe. Before you’d met him you’d had to handle everything on your own. Yes, you had the help of the girls, but they understood that the advice shared still needed time to be processed, and that TLC came in the form of a bottle of wine, a shared wardrobe, and a night out that couldn’t be remembered by the next morning. Trying to handle things when there’s someone else so closely involved in every single part of your life was a challenge. The last thing you wanted to do was push Taron away or hurt his feelings by rejecting him, especially when everything he’d done had only made you love him even more. But some things in life need to be handled alone, and after the weekend just gone, you knew the week ahead had to be one of them. You’d booked time off work so you could stay with your parents and help to care for your Dad, but now you were left with the challenge of finding the right time to tell Taron.

“So, are you free of relative visiting for the next month?” Jack asked Taron as he returned with a tray full of fresh drinks.

“Yeah, next one will be back to Wales for my birthday, I think. But that’ll be loads better because my lot love Y/N to bits.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” You smiled warmly as you placed your hand to the top of his thigh once he’d sat back down again. “I’ll be back up to see my parents again, but I’ll let Taron off this one. Think it’ll be less stressful all round.”

“Really? Again?”

“Yeah it’s Dad’s operation on Friday.”

“Oh yeah, right.” He shook his head a little before pouting in disappointment when he thought he’d have another weekend on his own.

“You can do something with the boys though, invite them over to ours if you like.”

“Mmm, we’ll see.”

“I tried.” You rolled your eyes to Jack who laughed at you.

“You’ve turned him into a right soppy bastard, look at that face! If someone had told me this time last year that he’d be sulking because he had to spend a night away from his girlfriend, I’d have never believed them. I don’t think he would either!”

“Oh, fuck off.” Taron huffed.

“Nah, it’s sweet.” You teased him too as you lightly pinched his cheek. “Can’t quite believe it’s coming up to a year already; still feels like yesterday. That’s reminded me! Is there anything in particular you’d like for an anniversary present?”

“A blow job.” Jack chipped in and you shot your head round to give him your sharpest glare before you broke out into a giggle.

“I’m saving that one for his birthday.” You winked to Jack before you felt Taron’s fingers gently turn your chin back to face him as he replied.

“Your undivided attention would be nice.” There was a seriousness in his eyes that strangely hurt you. It didn’t match the tone of his voice or the sweet smile that spread across his lips as he looked straight at you, but the twinge in your heart was unmistakeable. It was like he already knew that you were about to be apart for a week.

“Well that’s a given.” You did your best to smile back.

“Good… but let’s talk about it later, yeah? Here’s not really the best place.” He added quietly and you felt your heart start to race as it suddenly felt like something else was seriously wrong. What if he’d been keeping something from you too?

As the night went on you found yourself zoning out of the conversations around you and getting caught up in your own head. Scenes from the weekend were replayed in your mind and over-analysed as you struggled to find anything that could have caused this out of the blue rift. You wondered if it was because you left him to take the blame for having sex, despite you being the one pushing for it to happen that night. Maybe you should have had his back and said it was your idea? But then again, he would have said something after you left if that was the case. It could have been something your Dad said to him when they were left alone that he’s been dwelling on. Maybe it’s about an ex? There were too many what if’s and guesses for you to possibly explore and it was leaving you with a pounding head.

“Are you feeling alright?” Gemma asked as you made your way into the toilets together.

“Yeah, just…no”

“What’s up?” She held onto your shoulders as she spun you around to face her.

“Something’s off with Taron.”

“Off? He seems fine to me.”

“Yeah, no, not like that. I can feel it though, that gut instinct that says our walk home tonight will feel more like walking the plank.”

“Babe, don’t stress. Has anything actually happened?”

“No.” You looked down to your feet. “He said he wanted to talk later, about our anniversary.”

“Right, now I’m truly lost. That’s a good thing! He’s probably got a million and one ideas about what to do for it and wants to put out some feelers for what you’d be most excited for.”

“I don’t know, he looked really serious. It worried me.” You confessed, despite feeling ridiculous after Gemma had suggested a more realistic, and positive, outcome.

“You’re worrying over nothing, so stop it… As long as you’re still having sex, everything is good! When that stops happening, then you can come to me and tell me that something is wrong, okay?” She placed her hands to your cheeks as she reassured you and it put a small smile back on your face. “You are still having sex, aren’t you?”

“Of course!” You laughed. “This is me we’re talking about. Shit has to get really bad for that to stop!”

“Good, that’s more like it. Now let me pee and then text me in the morning telling me I was right after you’ve planned a super romantic way to celebrate your anniversary. I won’t be jealous in the slightest!”

“Alright. Thanks Gem.”

“It’s what I’m here for.”

When you returned to join the table again the conversation fell quiet as everyone seemed to be taking a sip of their drink at the same time. Taron had moved up a seat and was now next to Jack, so you pulled out the chair beside Rosie as you waited for anyone to say something.

“Shall we go and have a game?” Jack looked over his shoulder to the pool table which was already occupied “Or at least continue this conversation over there…” The rest of the boys stood up in agreement and walked over to reserve the next game. A smile which was awfully close to smug was sent in your direction from Taron and you did your best to reciprocate it without looking too confused.

“See!” You hissed to Gemma as soon as they were out of ear shot. “Tell me that wasn’t weird.”

“No, okay, that was strange. Rosie what just happened?”

“I don’t know. As soon as you two left they all moved up to that end of the table for some ‘boys talk’ so we ignored them.” She looked to Charlotte who nodded.

“Figured it was probably to do with a girl, reporting back after a first date or some filthy sex or something gross. Boys can definitely gossip just as much as girls!”

“Ask T later, and I’m sure he’ll fill you in on all the juicy details.” Rosie reassured you and you tried your best to ignore the feelings that kept stirring away in your gut. There was something about the situation which took you back to standing outside Taron’s flat when he had the other girl in there. You knew something was up and Taron’s face was the least reassuring of them all. He was the worst liar you’d ever met, and you weren’t sure what you were dreading more; finding out what was going on or watching him lie to you and being able to see straight through it.

Taglist: @egerton-sweetie  @amanda-tallmadge @lizziespidiepridie @leanimal90 @anantheminmyheart22 @aynsleywalker​ @bohemianrhapsody86​ @butterfliesslugswormsandothershi @manners-maketh-taron @livingincompletesilence@marvelmakeuplover @ohsosmutty@misspygmypie  @manners-maketh-a-kingsman@courtmr @baileythepenguin@thomaslefteyebrow @witchymarvelspacecase @samanthasmileys@nellietara @i-cant-remember-my-old-login @wheresmylightinthedark@kurtis-conner@hoe4dior @toky-9101 @mayaslifeinabox@fluentlyspeakingtreason @yallyallblanchett @whiskeylipsx@emmaelizabeth2014​ @primaba11erina @fightuntilyoucan @carlita2025 @rocknrollmadden

[somelizardperson]

Descendants 3

ok so i finally took the time to properly watch d3 and i made some notes throughout, so here they are:

- i love how in d2 mal tried her best to look like and be what audrey would be bc she thought that’s what ben would’ve wanted, and now audrey is changing and looking more like mal bc that’s what she thinks ben likes

- i like what they’re doing with audrey. she does have a point: even if she kinda behaved like a bitch, she was dating ben, and mal basically just drugged him and everybody disregarded how audrey felt. it was never addressed. ben didn’t even properly break up. with her, he just started declaring his love for mal. also if audrey is the one to finally make mal face the consequences of her actions and actually LEARN then i’m down

- why are all the adults looking at mal when asking what to do?? she ain’t even queen yet, and she’s the least qualified in the room to deal with these issues. they’re both teenagers, but ben has at least been trained and prepared to be king. why are the adults so irresponsible??

- “i dont want to take away your dream” why the fuck is she prioritizing ben’s wishes?? this isn’t about him, it’s about all the innocent kids stuck on the isle!!

- ben is a bit more likable now i guess? he hasn’t done anything overly stupid and annoying yet, so that’s an improvement.

- ok i think the fact that mal now starts prioritizing auradon over the vks is basically down to society’s pressuring her. all of the core 4 were transferred to a more privileged life, but the difference is that mal basically became a public figure, and in order to stop society from scrutinizing her she became what society wanted to see. she had this theme in her outfits and presentation of this rebel, bad girl, she wears a dragon themed dress as an homage to her heritage, but she’s not a rebel. she’s exactly what auradon wants her to be, just repackaged to look super cool and progressive. evie, the girl who likes glamour and fashion, and always wanted this luxurious life is a way better representation of a rebel, since she remembers what life was for her back at the isle and wants to help those who were less lucky. mal can’t ACTUALLY represent the vks properly.

- damn i love celia she’s adorable (and dizzy too)

- i LOVE the parallels between audrey’s upbringings and the vks. it kinda blurs the lines between auradon being “the place for the good guys” and the isle being “for the bad guys”, since evil can still be raised in auradon and the isle could be home to genuinely good people (dizzy, for example). and i like how when they find out that the crown was stolen they immediately assume it was uma, not even considering someone from auradon could’ve done it.

- “so long suckers” DAMN I LOVE HER

- they ride BIKES now what a glow up

- carlos just ditching jane’s birthday is a mood

- audrey ominously singing happy birthday is sponsoring my gayness

- i love celia. did i day that yet?

- i can’t help but want to make carlos’ hair into a mini-ponytail on like the top of his head, you know what i mean?

- what the fuck did they expect when they just parked the bikes without looking after them? of course harry fucking stole them you’re on the isle.

- this entire dungeon thing gives me a disneyland ride vibe, and i dig it.

- hades not actually having the dog would make sense, since why the hell would they give him the giant dog which could potentially cause a ruckus and destroy the place? i mean, they did take away magic, so it would make sense dangerous pets would also go.

- OH FOR FUCKS SAKE OF COURSE HES HER DAD.

- ok but it kinda recontextualizes her desire to close the barrier forever, since it could read as an attempt to cut off her parents, since hades could’ve also tried to take adcantage of her like maleficent.

- “try being married to your mamma” SO THEY WERE ACTUALLY MARRIED??? this shit is like disney’s own crack fan fiction what the fuck

- i love how celia just accidentally walked in on this family fighting session and is just in the background watching the entire thing

- hades has his nailes painted??? valid

- i REALLY hope they won’t make audrey into just a “crazy ex”, bc she has a point!

- ok ben starts getting on my nerves again. “who put a spell on you?” “just give the septor and i’ll forgive you”. he still doesn’t understand that it was his fault for never addressing mal drugging him into a relationship. nor him, nor mal apologized for dismissing audrey like that. bal have some cute moments but the fact that this relationship’s fundamentally based on toxicity is never addressed is bothering me too much to enjoy it.

- what was harry and gil’s shipname again?? i forgot, i’m just gonna call them garry bc that’s fun. anyway i love them.

- UMAAAAAAAAA SHES BACK I LOVE HER

- uma is the real vk activist we need!!

- i love how the pirate crew are all chaotic neutral.

- why did nobody take evie’s gum?? don’t be mean to evie!!

- i just love the pirates. they are my fucking saviors right now.

- there’s so much sexual tension between everyone in his movie and celia is just in the background forced to watch all of it

- tbh the songs aren’t that bad so far, i didn’t like vk day, but i like the energy night falls brings into the scene, and i like this entire scene overall.

- harry’s face when evie complemented his accent is adorable.

- “i love you” “i love you” GAY. the fucking look in evie’s eyes when she said that? GAY.

- gil suggesting to play the icebreaker just to complement jay had gay energy

- celia genuinely caring about the twins and dizzy is simultaneously adorable and also breaks my heart

- “well we haven’t actually used the l word yet” doug and evie are better off breaken up. and. by that i mean only evie, i don’t give a shit about doug.

- is she actually singing a song about doug? oh my fucking god.

- JUST FUCKING BREAK UP. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT DOUG. EVIE DESERVES BETTER.

- does disney actually think anybody gives a shit about doug?

- HE FUCKING WOKE UP

- i was waiting for him to not wake up and evie thinking that he doesn’t love her and going on about how sad she is only to then realize she is the one who doesn’t love him. like, how cool would it be for disney to leave one of their female leads to be single at the end of a movie? instead of having her realize she’s in love with him and this is true love her going through a realization that she doesn’t love him and that it’s ok? her realizing she doesn’t have to constantly be trying to look for her true love and take things slow? but no, we have to make her first proper relationship her last.

- i’m still convinced janelos is mlm/wlw solidarity

- wh- why is harry flirting with jane? wha- is this a ship now? is harry/jane a ship? hane? jarry? what the fuck?

- celia and uma eating cake together is adorable

- both uma and celia are adorable

- just generally uma eating cake is adorable

- i’m at the point where mal is all alone now, and i’m glad the theories that the core 4 is gonna divide into two “teams” based on the trailers didn’t turn out to be true. mal is probably the only one who didn’t actually change her ways as a villain but just switched sides. she’s still selfish at the core, and i like that they’re singling her out to really challenge her.

-on that note it could actually be completely fucked over and not addressed again but oh well. i’ll have to wait and see.

- i like her taking responsibility. yes, mal had a hard childhood, but she had to now put in the work to be a better person. she has a supportive environment which are her friends, so now she just has to put in some effort.

- dizzy saying “same” like that saved my life

- mal!! finally!! apologizing!! to audrey!! yes!!

- mal!! admitting!! that her own idea!! was wrong!! yes!!

- yes i approve this plan let’s abolish borders too

- UMA JUST FUCKING REJECTING HARRY DMFNSKFNSN

- ok so what’s the harry and audrey ship name? haudrey? audarry? haurrey?

I honestly don’t think this was a bad ending to the trilogy. I have mixed feelings about the core 4 going back to see their parents in the end, but it was overall an enjoyable experience, and probably my favorite of the 3. I’m gonna write some more coherent thoughts on it later, since this post is already too long djdjdsks

feel free to respond to this post and start a discussion