#@ anyone who is reading this im NOT anti-lorelai i just see her in a very neutral light

[evermoredeluxe]

yes!! exactly! I also don't hate her, I just don't like her.

her whole thing where she like essentially forces Rory to earn her affection back is absolutely awful and completely immature. you can't refuse to talk to your kid bc they are trying to figure out what's best for them, then refuse to tell them information about your life (which is why you're mad in the first place) and act like you have the moral high ground here.

I do think a lot of her immaturity comes from living a very sheltered childhood and then not having the opportunity to grow up and adult before getting pregnant and having a child, she was very stunted and she is somewhat stuck in the mentality of a 16 year old, which I can't blame her for, but it's also her responsibility to put in the work and become the adult that she is.

about Richard and Emily, I do agree that they're very controlling, but I do think that some of it comes from just the circles they run in, and not having the opportunity to grow and learn to parents as their child grows up. they do mean well, at the end of the day, they want to do what's best for lorelai and Rory, even though it isn't always what they need or what's best. and I do think that a lot of the mistakes they made could have been prevented had lorelai just talked to them. like, speaking from experience, my parents tried to force me into uni (like, give my number to university academics counselling, almost enroll me into school force me) for 4 years, but as soon as I started talking to my mom and sharing why I don't think this is right for me she backed off and helped me figure out what's right for me. lorelai isn't talking to her parents about what she's struggling with and doesn't come to them when she could use their help, Rory does, so they force themselves into the situation and try to control them and ignore what lorelai actually needs.

which leads me to something else I don't like about lorelai, she basically held Rory over their heads and dangled a relationship with her like a prize if, and only if, she could use their money when she needs it and completely ignore them and toss them out when she doesn't feel like she needs them. which forced Rory to be the adult (at like 14, mind you) and come to them for financial help (multiple times) only for lorelai to completely blow up on them and act like she's some patron Saint and the only one whose right and like they have to earn her forgiveness and affection when they did nothing wrong (Rory asking for help they clearly needed, emily and Richard for giving them that help)

yes i absolutely see what you're tryna say. idk how people think lorelai is always in the right or whatever. richard and emily try so hard to do their best, but still i can't, in good faith, say that they are good parents. butttt if we're looking at their bad qualities, we also have to take the good into account. i do believe that good does not make the bad okay, but its also very unreal to expect humans to not make mistakes. this is why even though i think lorelai is not the best parent, i see the good and balance how i feel about her.

the thing you said about rory having to mature at 14, absolutely agree! this is about me - since i was 13, idk why but i've always wanted kids, but i always say to my mom that i won't have them before 30 because i don't want to accidentally be a bad parent (obviously im gonna make mistakes but that's besides point). and this is not to say that people shouldn't have kids before 30, but just that it's much hard to raise kids when you're that young in your 20s and figuring your own life out. and i do feel bad for lorelai in this regard and i do think she was dealt with a bad hand, but as an adult, it's her responsibility to make the best out of things. she can't just use her past as an excuse to make mistakes now and get out of everything so yeah.