#>notice i react harshly or not at all to my friends plights

[8ribbit]

what would u say if i told u that supernatural and doctor who taught me how to be kinder to ppl. what then huh

[daily-dose-of-naruto]

Hi! Thanks for the lottery! I was wondering what you guys think Kakashi would be like around Asuma's baby, or how he would behave around any infants. Thanks!

Wow, this took forever to get to you. I’m so sorry! I tried for a lighter tone on this instead of focusing on Asuma’s death, so I hope that’s alright! ~Admin Axel

[Reluctant][Rated G] Kakashi’s First Meeting With A Baby

Kakashi was squatting behind a bush. 

Normally, he would have found a more dignified hiding place, but tough times call for tough measures and this particular bush was one of the only ones in this part of Konoha that had stubbornly hung onto its leaves after the first cold snap of the approaching winter. Pulling his ever-present orange book from inside of his flak jacket, Kakashi resigned himself to crouching here on the ground until his pursuer either moved on to a new location to search for him or gave up. Whichever came first, he wasn’t picky really.

Eyes darting over dog-eared page of  Icha Icha Tactics, Kakashi read a particularly racy scene that he could recite by heart. Aika, the busty heroine, had just snuck out of her village to have a late night rendezvous with the lover her family had forbidden her from seeing.

Kakashi allowed himself to get absorbed in the story to wile away the time and distract him from his chilled fingers, and maybe he did it a little too well, because suddenly he found himself blinking in the harsh sunlight like a startled raccoon as the limbs of the bush were yanked apart by a familiar pair of hands.

“Ah-ha! There you are, Kakashi!” Iruka peered down at him smugly, fixing the crouching figure of the Copy Ninja with a smile. But it wasn’t a nice smile, it was the kind of angry, clenched-teeth smile that Iruka only bestowed on people he was about to lecture to within an inch of their lives. And maybe Kakashi deserved it, because he had spent the better part of the week dodging the Academy teacher.

Kakashi sighed inwardly and lifted his hand lazily in a greeting. “Hello, Iruka.” He said pleasantly as he rose to his feet and casually picked a few leaves out of his hair, steeling himself for the incoming barrage of shaming and guilting techniques that Iruka had mastered over a lifetime of lecturing everyone within earshot.

“Did you really just hide in a bush from me? I’m a shinobi too, Kakashi. It’s going to take more than that to throw me off.” Iruka scoffed, pointedly ignoring Kakashi’s greeting.

“I was hoping you were having an off day.” Kakashi answered amiably and flashed Iruka his most winning smile, hoping to take the wind out of his sails before he could get started. It didn’t work apparently, because Iruka’s face was turning an alarming shade of red and he shoved his pointer finger in Kakashi’s face a little too melodramatically for the Copy Ninja’s tastes.

“Speaking of having an off day, you have one today.” Iruka ground out between clenched teeth, frustrated that he had spent half of his own off day chasing Kakashi around Konoha. “Kurenai has been asking about you and when you were going to come see Mirai-chan. I know that you are a lazy, antisocial trainwreck-”

Only years of training and experience in schooling his expression saved Kakashi from wincing visibly.

“-but you owe it to Kurenai and Asuma to go visit their baby.” Kakashi opened his mouth to retort, but Iruka held up his hand to silence him. “I don’t want to hear it. If you don’t go tonight, I’m going to tell the Godaime that you haven’t had a physical in three years.”

Kakashi’s visible eye widened at the betrayal. He had told Iruka and Genma that in drunken confidence, and now it was being used as blackmail. If there was one thing that made him more uncomfortable than children, it was having to cough while the Godaime jammed her cold fingers in delicate places and eyed his junk dispassionately.

Damn.

_______________________________________________

In spite of all of his stalling, Kakashi found himself at Kurenai’s house at a little past two in the afternoon and lifted his hand to knock on the door as quietly as possible in the admittedly vain hope that she wouldn’t hear him. They were shinobi, after all, trained to hear a twig snap from a mile away and react accordingly.

Just as his knuckles were about to rap on the surface of the door again, someone jerked it open so forcefully the hinges creaked. Kakashi gave Kurenai his most charming trademark eye-creasing smile, and from her deeply unimpressed stare he needn’t have bothered.

“Yo! I meant to come by sooner, but I-”

“Save it, Hatake.” Kurenai interrupted, rather rudely if you asked Kakashi. Why were all of his friends so cruel and indifferent to his plights? Not that there was any plight other than not particularly liking babies, but Kurenai didn’t know that. 

As if reading his mind like only an old friend could, the corners of Kurenai’s lips turned up in a warm smile. She looked like hell, to be honest. The dark circles under her eyes contrasted harshly with the unusual paleness of her skin, and her normally thick, glossy curls stuck out like she had been electrocuted. Still, aside from her obvious exhaustion, she was fairly glowing with contentment.

“Is Mirai-chan keeping you up at night, Kurenai-san?” Kakashi asked as she stepped aside to let him in. Kurenai groaned good-naturedly and rubbed her face, “She never sleeps. Thank goodness for friends, or I would have already lost my mind by now.”

Kakashi peered around the room, his eyes finally settling on a tiny arm sticking up from a bundle of pink blankets inside of a bassinet. “Ah, there’s the little monster.” Kurenai made a scandalized sound and thumped him soundly on the back of the head. Making a show of rubbing the spot, Kakashi leaned over the bassinet and parted the blankets, revealing the newborn to his curious gaze.

Kakashi had seen his fair share of babies in his lifetime, and they all had a few things in common. They were tiny, wrinkled, red-faced and kind of… not cute, and little Mirai-chan was no different. Fortunately for Mirai-chan, these things had a way of correcting themselves in the months after birth. Her skin would smooth out and her head would lose that conical shape which was an unfortunate side effect of being squeezed through a narrow tunnel with a skull full of soft spots.

Nature can be cruel.

Realizing that Kurenai was waiting for him to say something, Kakashi stood up straight and rubbed the back of his head. “She’s, ah… she has a lot of hair.” It was true. At one week old, the tiny girl had enough hair to pull into a little ponytail on top of her head, reminding Kakashi forcibly of a whale spout.

It was kind of cute, Kakashi admitted to himself, absently stroking the baby-fine black strands between his fingers. So soft.

Huffing an amused sound, Kurenai reached into the bassinet and lifted the baby carefully, taking care to cradle Mirai-chan’s weird, floppy neck in the bend of her elbow. Kakashi watched in trepidation as she walked over to him and eyed him expectantly.

Oh, no.

“Do you want to hold her?” Kurenai asked, her voice saccharine. She was enjoying watching him squirm.

“Ah, no thanks. She’s too little.” Kakashi waved her off, but Kurenai wouldn’t be deterred so easily. “Nonsense. You will be fine.” She insisted, and Kakashi felt the stirrings of panic in his gut. Mirai-chan was so tiny, and he was a huge, ungainly beast next to her. What if he dropped her and gave her permanent brain damage? Asuma would come back from the dead and haunt him to the ends of the earth, and he liked his crappy little studio apartment free of vengeful spirits, thank you.

Knowing he had little choice in the matter unless he wanted to gravely offend one of his oldest friends, Kakashi begrudgingly held out his arms and Kurenai carefully handed the baby to him and made a beeline for the overstuffed armchair. It was clear he was on his own here. 

The first thing he noticed was that the baby cracked open a sleepy, grumpy eye to check out the person who had taken her from her mother’s arms, and the second thing he noticed was her chin dimpling and her lower lip trembling with the onset of what promised to be a fierce tantrum judging by how quickly her face was turning a particularly violent shade of red.

“Oh no you don’t.” Kakashi said, supporting her neck with his hand so he could transfer her to his shoulder. Mirai squirmed against his shoulder and the first discontented cry sounded close to his ear. Wincing, Kakashi awkwardly patted her back, bouncing her a little like he had seen mothers do with their fussy babies in the crowded markets. It must have done some good, because Mirai burped in his ear and almost immediately settled down. Disconcertingly, Kakashi felt something warm seeping through his standard issue shirt and he was almost positive that Mirai had just spit up on him.

“See? You’re a natural.” Kurenai smiled at him, and the vain side of him prevented him from telling her it was sheer dumb luck and he was now covered in foul smelling formula spit up. If the opportunity presented itself for him to make himself look like he knew what he was doing, well… who was he to correct her?

Kurenai’s smile was downright impish as she got up from her chair and crossed the room, making her way leisurely towards the hallway. She paused for a second to look at him over her shoulder.

“Remind me to thank Iruka-san for hunting you down for me.” There was something mischievous in her voice, and Kakashi didn’t like where this was heading at all.

“I’m really tired,” said Kurenai, indulging in a little exaggerated yawning and stretching. “I’m going to go take a nap. Take good care of my Mirai-chan, please.”

With that, she sauntered down the hallway and disappeared behind the door of what Kakashi supposed was her bedroom.

Kakashi gaped at his traitor friend’s closed door, his keen ears picking up on the sound of the lock sliding into place. She had lured him here for a free babysitter. Peering down at the wide-eyed infant in his arms, Kakashi heaved a long-suffering sigh. He couldn’t very well leave her to fend for herself. Not without inviting her mother’s wrath, anyway.

He’d just have to suck it up this time and find some way to amuse himself and Mirai-chan. If newborns could even be amused, that is. 

Looking around the room for a book or a toy to entertain his charge with, Kakashi’s gaze landed on a package of tiny rubber bands on the low table and knelt down beside it to swipe them. These were the bands that were used to tie up Mirai’s little ponytail.

With a little bounce in his step, Kakashi walked back over to the couch and sat down, rearranging his unwitting infant co-conspirator across his knees to free up his hands.

Kurenai may have got him this time, but she wasn’t going to like the results. Smirking to himself under his mask, he set about the tedious work of separating Mirai’s hair into dozens of tiny, spiky ponytails and tying the little bands around them. To her credit, Mirai didn’t make a fuss and alternated between noisily sucking on her fist and peering up at Kakashi. He liked to think she was curious, but more than likely he was just a strangely colored blur in her terrible newborn sight and she was trying to make sense of the shapes before her.

 Still, for the first time in his life, Kakashi looked down at a newborn and smiled.

 Maybe this wasn’t so bad.