#> ro--lal: be roxy lalonde

[pesterloglog]

Jane Crocker, Roxy Lalonde, Autoresponder

Act 6, page 4491-4493

gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

GG: Heyyy.

GG: Ahem.

GG: Ro-Lal?

TG: oopos sry

TG: was havin important chats

GG: Oh?

GG: With whom?

TG: w yet anather ineligible fuckin bachelor who elfe i have to talk 2

[CONTINUED PREVIOUSLY]

TT: Anyway, if you're still there.

TT: I wouldn't call my "feelings" ironic.

TT: Though evidently, I would enclose them in quotes.

TT: They're more like an echo of feelings once established in a biological context, though perhaps had not particularly well materialized at that point in my life.

TT: Or his life.

TT: Whatever.

TT: They still feel real sometimes, and it can be easy to get carried away with them.

TT: But most of the time they present themselves as dense bodies of abstraction to be evaluated, like any kind of information.

TT: It's fair to say the feelings I have ABOUT my feelings are more genuine expressions of emotion than the ground level feelings themselves.

TT: Does that make sense?

TG: yes

TG: sory distacted

TG: iportant shit gon on w janesy

TT: That's fine.

TT: So to underwhelmingly answer your question, no, I don't think I'm really "into Jake."

TT: Not so much as occasionally being subject to heavily arresting recalls of conflicted, incipient preteen episodes on the subject.

TT: I'm not sure I can be "into" someone in a way you understand.

TT: Not that it would even matter if I was.

TT: I'm glasses.

TG: damn :(

TT: What?

TG: sry im listening 2 u really

TG: but i fucked uuuuup

TG: got to make sure jane doesnt run that file i sent

TT: The virus? You sent it already?

TT: Sneaky.

TG: waahh im such an ass

TT: What are you two talking about?

TG: the bot line is

TG: im a horribule friend :(

TT: You could just tell her you sent an exploding file.

TG: noo then shell think im shitty

TG: and right now she thinks im super NOT shitty

TG: dont want to blow it

TG: id think id rather pull a dirk and propess my UNDYING FEELINGS FOR HER omgomgomg

TT: Wait, you have feelings for Jane?

TG: no you dingnut

TG: was joak

TG: OMFG

TG: if dirk tells jake about his stuff

TG: what about jane

TG: hows she gonna feel

TG: competing wish a friend and all for aguy she cant even get up the nerve to say anythin to

TG: poor jane :C

TT: It seems to be highly probable you are ensared in the throes of one of your human romantic quandaries.

TG: oh stfu up

TG: i need a drink

TT: Are you even talking to her anymore?

TT: It seems like you must be neglecting her side of the conversation.

TG: im in the mipple of a dramantic pause caulm ur fukin tits bobob

TG: RLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????

GG: Sigh.

[CONTINUED PREVIOUSLY]

TT: Anyway, I won't distract you for much longer.

TT: I just felt the need to tip you off to this eight hundred ton gorilla dragging its knuckles across the horizon.

TG: will this gorilla

TG: eat thos bonanas

TG: flying out of the roof u said

TT: No airborne fruit will be safe.

TT: I guess this is to be presented as something like a word of caution.

TT: If it's me going through with this, hypothetically,

TT: I'm not dropping some limp wristed shucks buster on his ass, and praying to the horse gods of irony for reciprocation.

TT: There will be no rocking back and forth on pigeon-toed feet, while my face flushes with the blood of a thousand timid bishies.

TT: I will not hold one tentative hand behind my head like a flustered asshole from an Asian cartoon, nor will an oversized bead of sweat overlap ludicrously with my visage.

TT: If it's me, I'm going all out.

TT: Oceans will rise. Cities will fall. Volcanoes will erupt.

TG: uuh

TT: What I'm saying is, it's going to be a scene, and bystanders need to brace themselves.

TG: ok

TG: about when is the big scene happenin

TT: Probably after the game begins.

TT: I expect he'll hold off on playing his hand until he and Jake are in the session.

TT: He's taken certain measures.

TT: For some reason, I think he's latched on to this notion that functioning as the client for a player is customarily a one way pass to makeout city with that player.

TT: Everything with him, and me, is a matter of assiduous tactical forethought. Makin' a play to get his jones on for the J-man is no different.

TG: not sure what any of this quiet means but it sounds spactacular

TG: i cant wait

TG: tho im still kinda torn

TG: about how 2 feel about his chances vs janes chances

TG: what do i say to jane about this???

TG: its hard being as totey sweet a friend as me

TG: its hard and no 1 understanks

TG: *lul

TT: Sorry to hear that.

TT: As ever, I remain an automatonous and dispassionate witness of the oddity that is human interaction, while maintaining no investment in either outcome.

TG: yeah bs

TG: anyway looks like i have to go

TG: i have to proves some shit to jane

TT: Prove what?

TG: oh u know

TG: just subjectin shit to the old madrigogs

TT: It seems you just said madrigogs.

TT: What are madrigogs.

TG: XD

TG: l7r bro

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: janey

TG: it seems 2 me

TG: that there is a (MATHS) % chance of you bein a huge tightass

TG: are u bein a huge tightass on me jane

GG: Oh god dammit.

GG: Take the book! What do I care!!!

TG: yessss thast the spirpit

TG: now u are believin w petrol

GG: I fail to see what offering up a priceless book for your wildly capricious science experiment has to do with my resolution to be less stingy with my beliefs, but alright.

TG: haha will u relax abt the book

TG: im only just teasing cause theres like practically a 100 percant chance this wont wonk like alwasy

TG: * wort work like always

TG: sooooo

TG: ready/

GG: Yes, let's just get on with it.

[calaidraws]

Davekat pride

It took me the whole afternoon, but i finished a contribution to pride month!!! A davekat the lovers tarot card 😍😍 i wanna sell prints of these on my next con sksksdksksj

Commissions are open (!!!) since im taking time off school to recover from a surgery i had ♡♡♡ hmu if ur interested!!! 😊😊😊

Support me on ko-fi! http://ko-fi.com/calaidrawss

[mo0nbugs]

Roxy has fingerwaves. This is a fact and not up for discussion.

[paula-zotter]

Roxy‘s pretty cool 💕

[revletos]

👏 Give 👏 Roxy 👏 Wholesome 👏 Drinks 👏 2k18 👏 Squad 👏

[seasannaisling]

if i was u, id wanna b me 2

pink, roxy

[swimfuel]

hmmm

i need to redraw my beloved terrifying prince of time rose strider with her 2xbladekind (very sure of this one, the twin long tactical knives mirrors her rolal wandkind PLUS the 2xbladekind vs dave's 1/2bladekind reflects how she "buys in" to bro's training more than dave before she kills him (post with similar vibes to what i mean here although i don't completely agree with it)]

aaaaaaand also her mamas boy brother dave lalonde and his saikind (? not sure abt this one yet but the defensive aspect of the sai fits with the knight of rageisms [and also not sure if i want to keep with the knight of rage part even though Thats What He Is because logistically it's kind of a nightmare? like i COULD go for a rogue of space/light to keep up with the thematics of it all butttttt... :/] and also a play on paint tool sai and Disappointed Sigh Under His Breath at momlonde's momlondeisms)

rose strider is very similar to dirk in a lot of ways but the striking difference is how ANGRY she is... dirk is an asshole who thinks hes the man in the chair but freaks out when he has to execute his Man In The Chair Final Plan whereas rose's worldview shifts and contorts to always fit her endgame plan which is to Kill Her Bro. [But, simultaneously, she hates the feeling that she's Fated To Kill Her Bro. she doesn't want to be told what to do, even by herself.] she idolizes him as a symbol of strength and what she needs to be to Kill Him while despising him as an example of what She Can Never Ever Ever Be (and also because he is abusive lol but she doesn't become fully cognizant that its Abuse and not A Competition for a while) (these are some of my ro-stri thoughts from foreverz ago:::::)

dirkisms are soooo real there... and then theres my beloved dave lalonde :

i read this kidswap thing i cant remember if it was a fic or a thread or what by @/0pacifica on twitter (his mom doesn't have eyes and they do yoga together im a rlly big fan) which inspired my whole train of thought that dave, in a situation where he's being ladled out love like hes the only motherfucker in line at a soup kitchen, is going to quickly develop a reliance on it.....and some more food for thought

dave here still carries some of the impatience and insecurity in his abilities, but instead of it being centered around masculinity he feels like he is responsible for keeping shit running

so in this case the knight of rage would be reticent towards accepting certain truths and strong emotions/anger in himself and would instead really understand them in the external sense

OHHH WOW AND THE FACADE OF HOPE RLY FITS WITH THE WAY HE INTERACTS W MOMLONDE

so yes he slays. he is also terrible and he slays

my basic idea for j-harley on the island is a girl obsessed with the idea of normalcy in a very similar way to how jake is obsessed with dashing adventures and the explorerisms... and that could tie into her transness in a lot of ways most significantly trying to emulate the lives she sees on her shitty early 2000s tv shows.... this is VERY hopecoded 

jadebert is the best-adjusted person out there but theres obv room for depth so im gonna just leave the rest up to your imagination. like all these characters are so shaped by their circumstances that its hard to strip them down and see how they’d behave in a completely different environment but its ESPECIALLY hard for me w/ jadey imo i have no idea how to approach this

i have some minimal thoughts on roxy strider OR roxy lalonde w/ dave-lal guardian and dirk lalonde OR dirk strider w/ ro-stri guardian as well but theyre so minimal like Soooo minimal so i wont put them here

[zoiechance]

All Homestuck characters as of Nov 7,2020

This list includes characters from Homestuck,Homestuck^2,Hiveswap,& Friendsim! Please tell me if I missed anyone!

BETA HUMANS John Egbert(ghostyTrickster/ectoBiologist)/Heir of Breath/June Nanna Egbert Rose Lalonde(tentacleTherapist)/Seer of Light>Rosebot Dave Strider(turntechGodhead)/Knight of Time>Davebot Mom Lalonde Bro Strider Jade Harley(gardenGnostic)/Witch of Space/Grimbark Jade Grandpa Harley/Jake Harley/Pa Harley Future Dave>Davesprite fedoraFreak Dad Egbert/pipefan413

ALPHA HUMANS Poppop Crocker Jane Crocker(gustyGumshoe)/Maid of Life Mom Lalonde Bro Strider Roxy Lalonde(tipsyGnostalgic)/Ro-Lal/Rouge of Void Dirk Strider(timaeusTestified)/Di-Stri/Prince of Heart/Ultimate Dirk Nanna English Jake English(golgothasTerror)/Page of Hope Dad Crocker

OTHER HUMANS Colonel Sassacre Harry Anderson Egbert(thespiansGlamor) Tavros Crocker(glutinousGymnast) Yiffany "Yiffy" Longstocking Lalonde Harley Avril Thorpe Imode Kurita Silas P Beauregard III Joey Claire Jude Harley A. Claire

LUSUS B  Crabdad>Crabdadsprite B  Dragon Lusus>Dragonsprite B  Mother Grub>Mothersprite B  Tinkerbull>Tinkerbullsprite B  Goat Lusus/Goatdad>Goatdadsprite B  Bicyclops>Bicyclopsprite B  Pounce de Leon>Pouncesprite B  Ram lusus B  Spidermom>Spidersprite B  Aurthour>Aurthoursprite B  Seahorse Lusus>Seahorsesprite AN  Pyralspite ZOOSMELL/slugmeister CORNIBUSTER

ANCESTOR TROLLS Betty Crocker/Batterwitch/Baroness/Her Imperial Condescension/The Condesce The Signless/Sufferer Neophyte Redglare The Dolorosa The Summoner Grand Highblood/Unknown Subjugglater The Ψiioniic/Helmsman The Disciple The Handmaid Marquise Spinneret Mindfang E%ecutor Darkleer/Expatri8 Orphaner Dualscar

BETA TROLLS Feferi Peixes(cuttlefishCuller)/Witch of Life Karkat Vantis(carcinoGeneticist)/Knight of Blood Terezi Pyrope(gallowsCalibrator)/Seer of Mind Kanaya Maryam(grimAuxiliatrix)/Sylph of Space Tavros Nitram(adiosToreador)/Page of Breath>Tavrosprite Gamzee Makara(terminallyCapricious)/Bard of Rage Sollux Captor(twinArmageddons)/Mage of Doom Nepeta Leijon(arsenicCatnip)/Rogue of Heart>Nepetasprite Aradia Megido(apocalypseArisen)/Maid of Time>Aradiasprite>Aradiabot Vriska Serket(arachnidsGrip)/Thief of Light Equius Zahhak(centaursTesticle)/Heir of Void Eridan Ampora(caligulasAquarium)/Prince of Hope

ALPHA TROLLS Meenah Peixes/Thief of Light Kankri Vantas/Seer of Blood Latula Pyrope/Knight of Mind Porrim Maryam/Maid of Space Rufioh Nitram/Rogue of Breath Kurloz Makara/Prince of Rage Mituna Captor/Heir of Doom Meulin Leijon/Mage of Heart Damara Megido/Witch of Time Aranea Serket/Sylph of Light Horuss Zahhak/Page of Void Cronus Ampora/Bard of Hope

HIVESWAP FRIENDSIM TROLLS Ardata Carmia Diemen Xicali Amisia Erdehn Cirava Hermod Skylla Koriga Bronya Ursama Tagora Gorjek Vikare Ratite Polypa Goezee Zebruh Codakk Elwurd Kuprum & Folykl Remele Namaaq Konyyl Okimaw Tyzias Entykk Chixie Roixmr Azdaja Knelax Chahut Maenad Zebede Tongva Tegiri Kalbur Mallek Adalov Lynera Skalbi Galekh Xigisi Tirona Kasund Boldir Lamati Stelsa Sezyat Marsti Houtek Karako Pierot Charun Krojib Wanshi Adyata Fozzer Velyes Marvus Xoloto Daraya Jonjet Nihkee Moolah Lanque Bombyx Barzum & Baizli

OTHER TROLLS His Honorable Tyranny Mierfa Durgas~fantroll Nektan Whelan~fantroll Vriska "Vrissy" Maryam-Lalonde(adamantGriftress) Swifer Eggmop Cliper Borden Alfonz Motter Ataxia Xefros Tritoh Dammek Trizza Tethis Xultan Matzos Dromed Baktar Cridea Jeevik

SBURB/SGRUB B  Wayward Vagabond/Warweary Villein/The Mayor B  Peregrine Mendicant/Parcel Mistress Black Queen B  Authority Regulator/Aimless Renegade B  White Queen/Windswept Questant Black King B  White King/Writ Keeper Doc Scratch/Mr. Vanilla Milkshake Genesis Frog/Bilious SlickKernel

DENIZENS Typheus Cetus Hephaestus Echidna Hemera Nix Yaldaboth Abraxas

MIDNIGHT CREW B  Spades Slick/Archagent Jack Noir/Scurrilous Straggler/Sovereign Slayer>Bec Noir Clubs Deuce>Courtyard Droll Diamonds Droog>Draconian Dignitary Hearts Boxcars>Hegemonic Brute

THE FELT Itchy Doze Trace Clover Fin Die Crowbar B  Troll's Black Queen/Banished Quasiroyal/Snowman Stitch Sawbuck Matchsticks Eggs Biscuits Quarters Cans

SPRITES Kernelsprite B  Harlequinsprite>Nannasprite B  Crowsprite>Calsprite B  Frogsprite Tavrisprite ARquiusprite Erisolsprite Fefetasprite Jasprosesprite^2 Davepetasprite^2 Gcatavrosprite

ROBOTS Con-Air Bunny/Wizard Bunny>Knitted Bunny/Indiana Jones Bunny>Weapon Bunny/Liv Tyler/Mr. Terry Kiser A  Auto Responder/AR/Lil' Hal Huggy Bear/Lil Sebastian A  Brobot A  Squarewave/Zillywave A  Sawtooth/Sawhoo

ANIMALS Jaspers/Frigglish>Jaspersprite B  Bequerel>Beqsprite>Jadesprite Firefly/Serenity/Dr. Blinkbottom/Twinkly Herbert A  G Cat/God Cat B  Casey/Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer B  Maplehoof B  Vodka Mutini/Dr. Meowgon Spengler Halley Tesseract The Lone Gunbirds(Frohike,Langly,& Byers)

HORRORTERRORS Fluthlu Nrub'yiglith Oglogoth Gl'bgolyb

CHERUBS Caliborn(undyingUmbrage)>Lord English Calliope(uranianUmbra) Alternate Calliope/Possessed Jade

OTHER Lil' Cal MSPA Reader Ms. Paint Andrew Hussie/Hussiebot A  Jake’s Brain Dirk

[luminousbravery]

what’s POPPIN I wanna match up!! I’m a trans guy and I’m very jumpy and hyper !! however I have a very low social battery and after 30 minutes of hanging out w/ someone I’m just completely drained. I love drawing and writing fanfics (even tho they’re bad) and I would probably sell my soul to be a cat boy ngl. I like anyone regardless of gender and uhhh!!! I hate children! that’s all I can think of atm :D Can I get maybe 2 matches? tyty!!

Hello! Sorry I couldn't think of two, I have too many requests for matchups atm and I couldn't think of anyone else. Buuut, I pair you with....

ROXY LALONDE!

I feel like you and Ro-Lal would get along great! They're jumpy and hyper like you, but can totally understand when you get drained. They'd love to see your art and fanfics, and possibly write with you at times! While they like kids, they can get past that understand you not enjoying them.

Hope you enjoy your result!

[katreal-fic]

Day 5 — for #fictober 10/05/19

Prompt: “I might just kiss you.”

Fandom: Homestuck

Warnings: Cursing, 2nd Person POV

Part of a series. Please start from the beginning!

Characters: Dirk Strider & Roxy Lalonde 

First | Previous | Next

x-x-x

Dirk > Get Over It

You don’t get over it. But, you’ve had years of the intrusions to learn to live with it. You pick yourself after time and the sea breeze allow the most persistent of the whispers to fade back into your brain. You don’t know how to stop it. You don’t think you can. Maybe it’s just in the universes’ cards that you’ll never be able to escape the insufferable and unignorable presence of your selves. Splintered, doomed, it’s a big old party full of the one person you hate the most. 

You’re on the computer this time, digging into some of the less physical aspects of your work for CrockerCorp. Coding wasn’t your favorite thing, but aside from Roxy and ARq, you were probably one of the better around, and as far as you know, neither of them were helping Jane out on a consulting basis. You ignore the humming in the back of your mind, the phantom disconnect bubbling out from some deep inner core that leaves you watching your hands performing their tasks and yet--not under your control at all. An observer. Weightless, formless, trapped in a world of numbers and words with only a single view to the world beyond.

Only that isn’t right, you could take the stairs to the roof and go wherever the fuck you wanted to. Maybe you’re trapped, but it’s your own damn choice.

That’s the most unnerving of the loose threads, you think, because you know exactly who is leaking through there and at least he has more of a right to inflict this shit on you than any of the others. 

It keeps leaking. Mixing. You wonder if one day you’ll stop noticing and cataloging and just accept it all as your lot in life. Maybe even use it.

You send off the finished product--even with clumsy as hell organic interfacing tools, you work more efficiently at this sort of task when your auto-responder rises to the surface--and scroll through your inbox for another one. 

One stands out from amongst the mixture of spam emails that somehow keep getting around your ever more sophisticated filter (you suspect ARquiusprite to be behind it, but have no proof) and the more mundane business communication you maintain with CrockerCorp’s research division. You used to go straight through Jane but...as the company expanded it became more efficient to just work directly with the developers since Jane wasn’t very plugged in to that particular aspect for the business. It unnerves you a little, thinking of the small bakery she opened to take back her family name from the Batterwitch, only for the business to balloon into such a multi-industry giant, filling many vital services in this world and only rivaled in scale by Jake’s revival of SkaiaNet. 

But you suppose that’s the responsibility of a god, taking the world in hand and guiding it. Benevolent patrons, looking down from on high, shaping the course of history and society into the best form it could be. Someone’s got to recreate the internet (the world’d better thank you and Roxy and ARquiusprite for that) and you weren’t willing to wait around for it to happen organically. Shit needed to get done, and sometimes, the eight of you were the ones who needed to do it. 

The rogue email stands out with it’s bright pink text and typo filled subject line. Why would Roxy send you an email? Why didn’t she just hit you up on Pesterchum or--

A thought and you have the window open in the corner of your display, fighting, and failing to resist the urge to press your palms into your face when you notice the little red dot next to Do Not Disturb. A little further digging and you turn up some unread notifications that never got sent due to the privacy settings.

Of fucking course. Of course you’d automatically flip it to DND when in one of your spirals and not even realize it. You remedy that mistake, but instead of scrolling back through Roxy’s messages--there’s also a meme sent your way from Dave, accompanied by an ironic selfie of him and Karkat from, Jesus Christ that was a month ago--you turn back to the email in your inbox. This would be the newest one, given the time stamp, which was only an hour ago.

There’s a picture attached, a night shot of New City, near where Roxy and Calliope set up. Roxy’s got the whole selfie thing going, smiling and radiant for the camera, pink eyes sparkling with mischief as she framed the background shot just perfectly.

There’s an orange and green streak across the cityscape, the tall buildings in the distant background, their lit windows shining like a million stars from across the bay. Calliope has her green-suited arms wrapped tightly around their neck, highlighted by feathered wings obviously hitting the end of their orange end of the gradient and starting down the green path. Despite the obvious speed (you can tell from the way Davepeta’s currently green coat is caught mid-whip behind them) the picture is perfectly clear and focused, as if you are looking through a window into an image frozen in time. 

Damn she’s good.

wishin’ u were here di-stri. i heard u got out a little. maybe u shuld do it again. liek maybe come out my way next tiem?? ;) we have fun.

You chew on the inside of your lip, studying the picture. The frozen mixture of delight and mild terror on Calliope’s face. The mischief on Roxy’s. You can’t see Davepeta’s even if you zoom in, what with the ever present glow beneath their skin and the glasses currently matching the same orange of their wings. You bet they are having a blast though. How did they manage to talk Calliope into that? You didn’t talk to the cherub much on your own, but you were under the impression she was a skittish thing.

Your hand moves on its own, triggering the sylladex withdrawal on reflex. The feather hums quietly in your hand. It’s fading. The colors duller. Moving slower. But it’s there and it’s a comfort and…

Maybe you should.

You open Pesterchum back up.

TT begins pestering TG

TT: Sorry Ro-Lal, I was buried in work. TT: If you’re free I could probably head out your way tomorrow. I’m at a lull in my projects.

You aren’t, really, but as you’ve been so clearly reminded by the peanut gallery, none of this shit actually matters. And…

You miss Roxy. If you turn down this invitation…

Well, they already stopped coming once, and you let them. 

You don’t expect an answer immediately; the carapacian kingdom was a few timezones ahead of your ocean bound kingdom. It’s well into dinner time and you bet she’s a little busy with her guests and being the most kickass hostess of all time. 

You barely pull up another project and start studying the design specifications before the window on your shades spring open, searing excited bright pink across your eyeballs.

TG: omg dirk really??? this is going to be awesome!!! Callie and i promised to take ARq and peta out for more shenanignss but oh my gawd thisll be soo much fun! Itll be liek old times! Ull have to keep me updatedf on ur ETA TG: gawd i havent seen you in so long i might just kiss u TG: plonk a big one rite smack dab on each cheek TT: Don’t make me reconsider now, Rox. TT: You know how I feel about smooches, advanced warning or not these cheeks are off limits without applying for a permit. It’s private real estate. TG: nu’uh buster no take backsies!!! U accepted the invitation u gotta put up with the potential of that ill be so overcome with joy at seeing ur face that there’ll be a shower of friendly smooches TG: see u tomorrow <3 TT: Tomorrow, it is Roxy.

You talk a bit more, but Roxy soon excuses herself to do the hosting thing, and you’re left wondering what you’d gotten yourself into.

You’d forgotten Davepeta was traveling with ARquius.

Trapped. Trapped and it’s your own damn fault.

There’s no way you’ll let Roxy down after all that though.

You’ll just have to deal with it when you get there.

First | Previous | Next

[pesterloglog]

Jane Crocker, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 4432-4436

gutsyGumshoe [GG] began bothering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 1:11

GG: Heyyy.

GG: Ahem.

GG: Ro-Lal?

TG: oopos sry

TG: was havin important chats

GG: Oh?

GG: With whom?

TG: w yet anather ineligible fuckin bachelor who elfe i have to talk 2

GG: Yeah.

GG: Um... which one, precisely?

TG: di stri

TG: insmufferable prick mf'r extroariadinnere

TG: *lol wow

TG: *extradinner

TG: *heheh yum

GG: If the chats and surplus dinners were truly important, I wouldn't want to interrupt.

TG: tchhhh

TG: of course not jus the usual bs

TG: chats with u always get precedance anyways

TG: unless this is more of u givin me shit about not believing me on all my sick tru facts

GG: Actually,

GG: That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

TG: i c

TG: go on..........

GG: You see, I was just the target of another assassination attempt.

TG: @@@

TG: fuck*!!!

GG: Two, in fact! One here in the real world, as I attempted to retrieve the mail.

GG: Luckily it was thwarted by a certain cat who shall remain nameless.

TG: hehehe oh man

TG: god cat

TG: bbf

TG: *good

TG: *bff

TG: *no wait

TG: *god wuz right

TG: fuckit

TG: *both spellins r true

GG: But in the process of being rescued from the explosion, I was knocked unconscious.

GG: And in my dream, there was another assassination attempt.

GG: This one I believe was successful!

TG: uhoh

GG: I'm becoming convinced that our "dream selves" are being picked off by violent hooligans.

TG: shit

TG: hooliginas

TG: * ...

TG: * yes

TG: but i think u mean

TG: batterwitch thugs

GG: Perhaps.

GG: The one who accosted me was a knife-wielding lunatic.

GG: And it's reasonable to deduce the same forces were responsible for Jake's death on Prospit as well.

GG: It looks like we are in the clutches of an actual caper. A real life mystery!

GG: Which under different circumstances would be quite exciting.

GG: But the truth is, I think we are all in great danger!

TG: well fuck

TG: i guess its time to take this shit up to RED ALART

TG: to where its been for like fuckin ever jane

GG: Yeah, yeah. :p

GG: But that wasn't all there was to the dream.

GG: Shortly before I was stabbed, I had a rather long gander at Skaia.

TG: a gander u say

GG: Yes.

TG: how good a gander

GG: I would say a pretty substantial gander.

TG: ok

TG: and during this totaly massive gander u snagged

TG: what did you see

GG: I saw things in the clouds.

TG: things

GG: Yes.

GG: Things.

TG: wut things

GG: Things happening in the future, I think.

GG: Many events pertaining to us. All of us, and other people I didn't recognize.

GG: It was a bit overwhelming.

GG: It made me feel small. Insignificant, relative to whatever it is we're about to involve ourselves with.

GG: And honestly...

GG: It made me feel pretty foolish too.

TG: foolish

TG: why foofish

TG: *sdjhf

GG: I began to wonder why I ever had the audacity to think I know much of anything about the world we live in or the journey we're about to take.

GG: Or to think I could ever rule anything out.

GG: I have a feeling that whatever I saw, it means you've been telling the truth all along.

GG: About everything.

GG: And I'm starting to feel like a complete idiot for doubting you.

TG: aw man :(

GG: I've been one great big horse's caboose, and I think you're owed an apology.

GG: Do you think you can forgive me?

TG: jane

TG: damn

TG: ur makin me feel like shit here

GG: Why?

TG: uuuun

TG: eh no reason

TG: just uh

TG: hey did u dl the game file i sent yet

GG: I did.

GG: And at this point, I guess I have no choice but to use it. I guess you were a step ahead of me yet again.

TG: why

GG: Because the one in the mail detonated in my most recent assassination attempt.

TG: WHAT

TG: of fuck those HACKS

TG: the old explobing game trick woh would stoup to such lowbrow shegnannagings like that

TG: *somany sweet typos

GG: :B

TG: that witch just mafes me FUCKINK FRUIOUS sometites

GG: Hoo hoo! The tactic was quite underhanded, yes.

TG: yeaaah

TG: uh so

TG: what were we talking about again

TG: soory im just worked up ovr it

GG: I don't blame you.

GG: Where we were, by my estimation, was a place wherein I was about to awkwardly attempt to swallow a helping of humble pie.

GG: To somehow make it up to you for my years of stubborn mistrust.

TG: hey jane

TG: wasnt that a bunch a splip infinitives...

GG: Hm?

TG: *split

TG: to awkwardly attemt

TG: to somehow make it up !

GG: Oh!!!

TG: lul so busted

GG: Oh gosh, what a doofus.

GG: You see?? I clearly don't have all the answers!

GG: I really had some nerve challenging anyone, on practically any subject.

TG: dont beat urself up too bad we both know that rule is bullshit anyway

TG: you hold yourself to too high a standard and those standards kinda leak out and start gettin applied to other people i guess sometimes

TG: you really dont have to apologize janey or eat humble pip or anything all youve got to do is maybe not be such a huge tightass all the time

GG: That's fair. But I would still like to make a gesture.

GG: Even if it's one partially motivated by self interest, seeing as I clearly have much to learn.

TG: ?

GG: I would like to give you a free pass for a day.

GG: It is good for twenty-four solid hours of absolute credulity from your best friend.

TG: ........

GG: :B

TG: ok waitin 4 u to say wtf youre exacly talkin about

GG: It means that starting now, whatever you tell me, I will have to believe you.

GG: I promise!

TG: o rly

GG: Yes.

TG: ooooooooooh................

GG: Um,

GG: Are you there?

GG: Ro???

TG: (shh)

TG: (thisis a dramantic pause calm ur tits)

GG: Oh.

GG: Hmm.

GG: Exactly how dramatic are we talking, here?

GG: Shall I go retrieve a magazine?

TG: RLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????

GG: Sigh.

TG: kay then

TG: what do you want me 2 say

TG: for you to autobelieve in

GG: Hmm.

GG: Everything, I guess. I'd like to get completely up to speed, if possible.

TG: yeah

TG: but

TG: im pretty sure i already said everything

TG: want me to just

TG: sayit all again.....

GG: Some reiteration certainly couldn't hurt.

GG: But this time I won't work so hard to sift the fantastical from the plausible.

TG: so like

TG: stuffs i said about my mom or

GG: Sure.

TG: ok well fors tarters

TG: she really is the notable author u know

GG: Oh, I know that!

GG: That was always something I had no trouble believing, considering the public documentation even reclusive celebrities receive.

GG: And frankly, the family resemblance is obvious.

TG: yup

GG: Anyway, it would be disingenuous if I found your relation far fetched, since we're all apparently related to noteworthy people. It's just one of those funny things.

TG: true dat

TG: then

TG: what else can i talk about

TG: like her occolt majyyks and stuff

TG: because i dont know a whole lot about the mayjjykks

TG: besides th fact that theyre all real as shit can get

GG: Maybe we should start at the very beginning.

TG: ok

TG: but the begninning was a hecka long time a go

GG: Do you remember around when we first started talking?

TG: y

GG: And you claimed you were the one making my pumpkins disappear?

TG: hahAHA

TG: *aha

TG: y :3

GG: You later proceeded to try to prove to me that what you were saying was true.

GG: But none of your attempts thereafter would ever bear any fruit, pardon the pun.

TG: k but it aint pardoned because a pumpkin aint even a fruit

TG: its a big orange porch thing for holloween numbnuts

GG: Yes, I know what pumpkins are. It was a joke, silly.

GG: What I'm trying to say is, in thinking back to those days, when you couldn't verify your claims, it made me think the whole thing was a big ruse.

GG: And I think this unfortunately began a pattern of mistrust. It was always hard to rule out the possibility that you could be joking about other things as well.

TG: yeah

TG: but its not my fault i mean appeafrification tech is notoriously unreliable

TG: remember

TG: i xplained this

TG: i cant just always appearify stuff from you any time i want

TG: i can only take stuff im "allowed" 2 which is pmuch random

TG: like stuff that by takin id be messing up the time line cause that stuff is supposed to be there and serve some funciton it hasnt served yet

TG: so most of the time if i try all i get is slime on my end

TG: but pumpins 4 some reason are a lil easier to take i dunno why

TG: like they are specifically and arbitrorily unhinged from spacetime

TG: is spooooko

TG: *ky

GG: I couldn't begin to explain the science behind such a technology either.

GG: But I guess the important thing is, regardless of how or why it works, this is a story you continue to stand by?

GG: That is, you are still taking credit for the mysterious disappearance of all those pumpkins I grew years ago?

TG: f yeah

TG: i so gonked your gaurds jane

GG: ...

GG: Did you gank them when my gourd was down?

TG: * yes

TG: * yes i did exectly that

TG: snatched ur patch sucka!!!!!!

TG: hehe

GG: Very well!

GG: Then I believe that is what happened.

GG: That's all I am trying to say here.

TG: so

TG: ok

TG: u believe that

TG: now what??

GG: Now... nothing, really.

GG: You may continue to tell me anything you would like with the confidence that I won't doubt you.

GG: So by all means, go ahead!

TG: ok gotit

TG: so jane

TG: whas tit feel like 2 get stabbed by a bab guy

GG: Oh, come on!

TG: huh

GG: That is a question!

TG: yeah so

GG: It's not any sort of revelation, or statement for me to take at face value.

GG: Dadburn it. This isn't that difficult!

GG: And for the record, it's not great.

TG: whats not

GG: GETTING STABBED BY A BAD GUY. IT ISN'T ALL THAT PEACHY.

TG: yeah i bet

TG: musta suuuucked

TG: or

TG: dream sucked idk

GG: So, you're not in the mood to tell me things?

TG: no i am

TG: im psyched about u wanting to believe me and all

TG: but part of me still feels like i should prove it

TG: like i tried to once

TG: it was just frustratin i mean im a sciestist i should be able 2 prove my shit

TG: like

TG: subject my claims to the fuckin madrigogs

GG: Um...

GG: Madrigogs?

TG: *mad rigors

TG: u know what i mean???

GG: Yeah, I understand.

TG: i mean trust between friends is sweet and everything but i dont know if i wanta be the repipient of like a butt load of pity believins

GG: It's not about pity!

GG: It's more like a gesture I'm trying to make.

GG: Or maybe that's not quite right.

GG: It has more to do with setting things right for myself than making it up to you.

GG: Does that make sense?

TG: .............

GG: Shoot, I'm doing such a terrible job explaining this! :(

TG: (patiently sips bev rage)

GG: The bottom line is, I WANT to believe the things you say now.

GG: That's all you need to know!

TG: ok thats good

TG: i want that 2 buuuuuuut

TG: i still wanna prove it irregardlessly!!!!!!!`

GG: *Shudders uncontrollably at "word" usage.*

TG: whoops sry

TG: * still WANT TO prove it irregaurdlesally

TG: ^ all fixed tght as fuck

TG: so u down for one last try

GG: Sure!

TG: k lets get busay

TG: what you want 2c me disappearify

GG: I don't know.

GG: The baking chest, maybe?

TG: too big

TG: i got size restrictions here

TG: bigger stuff takes huge amount sof power to swipe

TG: so this gizmo i have has a built in size cap

TG: like somethin as big as you for insance

TG: i cant take

TG: believe me ive triiiied

GG: D'aw.

GG: That's sweet of you, I guess?

TG: was totes sweet of me to try and steal you for the hangouts but it dint work becuse of BUULBSHIT

TG: but i can take stuff somewhat smaller

GG: What are the restrictions?

TG: just dump your shit on the floor

TG: tell me everything thats there

GG: Well, what immediately catches my attention is this enormous book.

GG: I wonder how it squares with your size restriction?

TG: wut book

GG: My Unabridged Sassacre's!

GG: It's a very rare edition, and a precious family heirloom, so I don't know if it would make an ideal candidate for the journey.

TG: no no r u kidding that shit is perfect

TG: should be just the right size like big but just barkley not too big

GG: But what if it gets damaged!

TG: pshhhhh itll be set fire

GG: Oh! Silly me, what was I even worried about!

TG: errr

TG: ahahaha man

TG: * sent

TG: ** fine

GG: That wasn't even a Freudian slip.

GG: Doctor Freud just tripped over an errant phallus, tumbled down a flight of stairs, and broke his neck.

GG: And then his cigar exploded comically in his face.

TG: ffffFROLOFL

TG: jane ur funy

TG: (omg still lolig @ that word boner i made ooomg)

GG: It was spectacular.

TG: but 4 real i wont set ur fuckin joke book on fire jane

TG: it doesnt even do that even if it goes the worst kinds of wrog

GG: Couldn't we send Wise Guy instead?

GG: At least it can be easily replaced.

TG: jane

GG: ?

TG: jaaanae

GG: HM??

TG: FUCK wise guy

TG: ist would be SO LAME ass a giguinea pig book

TG: goddam who m i kidding i dont even no how to spell giguinea pig whilst sober

TG: coud be sober as a churchchrist and lookat it..... giunae.... guinea... idk shit looks intrinsnically fucked typographically speakin

TG: sooo FUCK that wrod and FUCK those parcicultar pigs

GG: No, I reject your proposal that we "fuck" Wise Guy, whatever that actually means, or for that matter, the spelling of any adorable rodents named after African nations.

TG: jane

TG: are u being a tightass again

GG: I don't... think so?

TG: we talked about this

GG: About what?

TG: about you benig a tightass

GG: I am not being a tightass!

TG: janey

TG: it seems 2 me

TG: that there is a (MATHS) % chance of you bein a huge tightass

TG: are u bein a huge tightass on me jane

GG: Oh god dammit.

GG: Take the book! What do I care!!!

TG: yessss thast the spirpit

TG: now u are believin w petrol

GG: I fail to see what offering up a priceless book for your wildly capricious science experiment has to do with my resolution to be less stingy with my beliefs, but alright.

TG: haha will u relax abt the book

TG: im only just teasing cause theres like practically a 100 percant chance this wont wonk like alwasy

TG: * wort work like always

TG: sooooo

TG: ready/

GG: Yes, let's just get on with it.

GG: It worked!

GG: The book is gone!

TG: oh no

TG: aaaawwwww shit

GG: What is it?

TG: shit shit shitsh it

GG: Did you receive the book?

TG: shoiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

TG: SHITSHITSHITHISTHITSHITSTHI

GG: Don't tell me.

GG: The book is damaged somehow, isn't it?

TG: ffuuuuuuuuuuuk :(

GG: Sigh. Is it at least SOMEWHAT intact?

GG: Or was it completely incinerated in transit?

GG: I just KNEW we should have used Wise Guy. I can't believe this.

TG: dont worry

TG: the book itself is topes fine :*

TG: *:9

TG: *dsjf :(

GG: Oh.

GG: Then what's the problem?

TG: fffff

TG: im so stupid :(

TG: so stupoid so stupud soos tupob :(((

GG: Will you tell me what happened??

TG: gotta go bbl

TG: well talk abt important stuffs l8r

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

TG: ps jane ty 4 believin me

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

TG: OH SHIT

TG: on last thing jane

TG: DO NOT RUN THEFILE I SENT U BEFORE I GET BACK

TG: i need 2

TG: uh

TG: just dont w/o me ok

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

TG: fuuuuuuuuiiiuickl :'(

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

[ectotheology]

flowersoficetor replied to your post “roxy lalonde is definitely a character i consider a role model..Also i...”

ro-lal model

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