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a certain friend of mine sent me a photo of clothing with the caption "boleyn vibes" so. anne doodle!
#idk what her expression is doing here i'm sorry!#six the musical#six the musical fanart#anne boleyn#happy ides of march btw. was going to do a little stabby thing but then life was v busy so No it is#some of the pencil lines here really annoy me. no one look too close at her chin#the anatomy is also very janky because. well. sometimes you brainrot too fast to look up references yknow?#alright bye i promised i would do vectors and now i Must. also i have a quiz tomorrow much yikes wish me luck#<posts this before i can overthink it>#the original thing is actl a bit less deranged in the sense that. i photographed this drawing from an angle so it does look more as if#she's looking down at you
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timeloop kross au where they’re both living in this town they hate so they swear to each other to get out whatever fucking way they can, but killer’s reckless, and dumb, and a hopeless romantic, and gets cross wrapped up in all kinds of crime. and they rob someone’s house for money so they can get out of town and killer kills the guy who’s house it is. and so cross has to deal with the moral turmoil of killing and robbing an almost complete stranger and actively running from authorities with this guy he realizes he doesn’t actually know that well, this guy he’s truly seeing for the first time (be it good or bad or both), but he’s so so stupidly in love with anyway. and who’s stupidly in love with him. and maybe killer gets hurt, maybe they both get hurt, and they’re lost and everything went to absolute shit just in a few days and they have blood literally on their hands. and part of cross wants (so desperately, even though he doesn’t realize that part) to go back, to how it was. to just get rid of all this shit. because of how jarringly different, foreign, unrecognizable, everything is. he hated that town, but it was what he knew and there was an odd comfort found in that familiarity. and now he’s afraid. and then cross wakes up. and it’s the same date as it was when it all started, and he’s back in his own house, and there’s no blood. but, no, no it had to have been a dream. a really weird, fucking vivid dream. so he tries to act normal, move on. and then stuff starts to get familiar. killer makes the same promise to him to get out of town. so cross tries so fucking hard to change it, to make sure it won’t end up the way it did in his dream. but it inevitably does, god it does, and again cross is filled with that turmoil and almost guilt, or regret. that unease. dissatisfaction. and he wakes up again. and it happens all over again. and this time he thinks something’s wrong with him. he’s having some weird ass dream. he’s lost his mind. and then it happens again. and again. and he can’t change any of it. and he keeps seeing killer with someone else’s blood on his hands, then he sees killer’s blood, then his own, and he feels that desperate, terrible fear of running again, of not being able to go back to how it was. of being ripped from this town he and killer were clawing till their fingers bled to get out of nonetheless. and now he has no fucking idea what’s happening to him. and it keeps happening. god, it keeps happening. he doesn’t know how many times it’s started over. and the only way to get out of this loop is to accept it. to accept that if he chooses this path with killer, of staying with him, of getting out of town, this is what’s gonna happen. he can’t avoid it, none of it. he has to make peace with that, accept that inevitable crushing abnormality that will come with his choices. he has to face them.
is that anything at all
#armageddon rambles woah#anyway. you know#i’m thinkin i’ll call this au the deja vu au mayhaps. cackles we’ll see how i feel later#if it stays a thing#this is very much the ramblings of a mad man i remembered an au idea i had and blacked out i think#i considered going the “killer (or cross) keeps dying and every time he dies it resets” route#like the one supernatural episode#but i decided this was more interesting#ANYWAY im fucking going to sleep. have this kross post before i can overthink it too hard (ive already overthought it)#disclaimer this like several days old i just messed with it a lot while it was in my drafts#deja vu au
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The problem is they both make sense.
John lacks any agency, and as his abilities start "failing" he loses more of what little he has. The only things he can do is perceive the world through Arthur's eyes and talk to him in his head. That's it. He has no material effect on the world around them. He is solely 100% reliant on Arthur for his continued existence and influence on the world. He can't ignore Arthur whatsoever (unlike Arthur who can ignore John easy peasy) he can't Do anything but talk and observe (and also experience the deaths of people Arthur touches but ultimately that does nothing). Of course he is going to be distrustful of other people and possessive over Arthur.
Arthur feels like suddenly he can't rely on this very reliable thing that has been keeping him alive this whole time. It would shake anyone up. Especially with the shit they have to deal with? If he can't rely on directions he will be sliced to ribbons or shot without a chance of fighting back. They may as well be dead already. And for all of John's lack of agency, it's Arthur who has to actually deal with the consequences. He's the one who's getting wounded and torn to bits and has to fight all that. Plus it's HIS body. If someone's existence relies on your body, you have the right to refuse, bodily autonomy is a human right.
The problem is they've gone through this cycle before (cycle of learning and forgetting and learning that they are One Unit and need to work Together vs The Problems and forgetting) but never has it shaken Arthur so much. Even when they've argued before he would still listen to John's directions. But now? Everything is in question (as is probably the intent behind John's "failing" abilities.) They DO need other people to help and they DO need to be careful and include John. They cannot truly trust someone else while keeping John a secret or without his input. Arthur has the most control over the situation and the onus is on him to make the compromises. Yeah it's his body but 1) countless times he promised to John that they were in this together and 2) at this point separating them would be so traumatic that they may as well be One.
All of this is to say, curious that Arthur is so willing to tell Oscar about literally everything EXCEPT John. What happens if he does? What if there's someone else to assert for John in a way Arthur can't ignore so easily? Would that legitimize the shared ownership of Arthur's body? What does it mean for John to gain agency by the loss of Arthur's autonomy?
#im being Bold today and not saving this in the draft#pls be nicey if you disagree#i have a lot of confusing thoughts and feelings about what bodily autonomy means when youve got a guy living in your head#that is somehow separate from yourself#malevolent#malevolent spoilers#goobabble#also to be clear I think Arthur is being complete major dickhead#i understand why he feels the way he does#or at least how i think hes feeling#and i think john would stab him if he could#slap him upside the head for being a dummy#i wouldnt blame him lol#i cant include all the intricacies of their dynamic so theres def things that may be missing here but you get it#also yeah i watched the fionna and cake finale lol#to be completely honest i dont think these guys even know what Trust is#they are all men of faith#posting before i can overthink myself into a spiral about this
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watching the camp half blood musical animatics is giving me HIGH nostalgia because it reminds me of the late 2023/early 2024 pjo fandom era when i first entered the tumblr pjo fandom community, I used to play those musicals on loop during the time the show was getting buzz. that also happened to be a time where i was getting into hoo and jason again and I started posting about him and the only time I fully emerged into the pjo fandom as whole bc before I was hyper fixated in other fandoms. the pjo community isn't hitting the same anymore why bring it back guys pls 😮💨
#how can we rewind to 11 months ago#late 2023 early 2024 pjo fandom will always be one of my core memories#I still remember reading the lost hero so clearly again and finding jason so fucking funny and cute and decided 'im posting abt this guy'#before I tried defending him on like reddit but it wasn't getting much reach#so I came here instead#and look how it's going :>#I've made so many friends here I love it#I miss my deactivated moots so much#pjo#pjo fandom#percy jackson#pjo series#pjo hoo#jason grace#࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚˖𐦍˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔ elora's PhD in overthinking
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ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)
so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.
anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)
If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.
To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.
The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.
I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.
so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you
#wow! that was crazy!!!! at least this is the neurotic overthinking website#so i hope you can not neurotically overthink what you did to make me unfollow you. and instead rest in our mutual finitude#the other day i had the experience of clarifying with a friend that i'm her best friend but she's not mine. in almost so many words.#(she asked who i'm closest to and i named a couple people here and away. then i asked her and she named a couple people and me)#she got teary but didn't have an anxiety meltdown which is huge progress for her! and we kind of acknowledged the difficulty and moved on#and kept hanging out and texting and loving each other#super weird experience but kind of like a lightning bolt of realizing things i've been intending for a while#we have to give each other the dignity of making choices even when the choices aren't each other. on a social level#we have a higher calling! all of us do! it sucks when the social stuff gets weird but we shouldn't let the weirdness distract from the call#and frankly once you start choosing the call over the world then the world's structures stop being at all compelling#for a neutral tool tumblr can be quite amazingly powerful for the Lord#but it is of the world and runs on some lies and i've hit a breaking point where i needed to confront those lies before i kept going#anyway. the point is. I LOVE YOU. and God has told me I have more urgent loves right now.#what an insane post to be making !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh wait edit to add! just to be clear i'm not trying to say don't message/reply/send stuff to me!#if i have to set a boundary i will but things are fine. just needing to reduce the dashboard noise#i highly recommend setting online boundaries btw. it's so much easier than stewing and stressing and wondering if blocking is justified#to just message someone and say ''hey you're doing nothing wrong but this way of interacting bugs me so please stop''#(which i've done only to followers never to people i follow. yet.)
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THANKS @kimdokjafan you are so kind and generous. ok im cashing in the first of three blank checks to talk about faith trust and pixie dust (most recent chatfic) because the last two directors commentaries were too serious so let's do a silly one.
some p5r spoilers, and this is mostly about sumire, and it's long again. do i need to keep disclaiming that these are long? you should know me by now.
i had this written for a while before i started formatting it because i wasn't really sure if i should post it? i feel like silly chatfic is something people go to for predominantly lighthearted nonsense so i was like, maybe there's too much plot and dramatic misunderstanding and i should just keep this one for myself. but then i was like well nothing matters and maybe someone will have fun with it. it's kind of terrible how much fully or mostly completed fic there is my docs that just doesn't see the light of day lol. write for yourself etc but i like sharing! too bad it comes with the mortifying ordeal etc. anyway that was a tangent
potato counter is a neopets game. there's no deep lore i just like neopets. i guess in this universe ryuji doesn't play neopets? or maybe he's just never played potato counter specifically. i also have a different fic where ryuji DOES play neopets. it's about neopets and ryuji and goro talking on neopets.
i think this might literally be the first time ive written sumi in a fic because i haven't actually written that much fic for royal, like, now that im looking, literally almost none? and none that had a group dynamic. so it was kind of fun to find her voice for the first time in a silly groupchat like this. i was worried people would find her exclamation marks annoying but i personally thought it was endearing so i added it in there.
every time i do a gag where a character corrects their own typo i have to code more stupid little bubbles to make it happen but i think it's worth it. all the effort that goes into making tgis look as much like a real chat as possible
this obviously doesnt take place in the canon p5/r universe, but im imagining sort of a postcanon sumi personality where she's more comfortable being herself and isn't borrowing kasumi's brand of confidence, but she's visibly a really anxious person without that kasumi veneer. i also think in this universe sumire is a fairly recent addition to the friend group, and while everyone likes her a lot and she really likes them, i kind of wanted to emphasise that feeling of being in a friend group where everyone's established and you're sort of a plus-one? you don't really fit yet. part of that is her being new, part of it is her anxiety, part of it is just the kind of person sumi is where she's so polite and self-conscious she ends up taking herself out of things with her own good intentions. stuff like her interrupting the flow of an existing conversation by greeting everyone instead of jumping straight in because she doesn't feel comfortable inserting herself, which means everyone else stops to greet her even though that doesn't normally happen in a friend group, or making a point of thanking everyone for being invited to events while the others take it as a given.
idk i love that she feels a bit out of place with the phantom thieves in p5r. and part of that is a natural consequence of being a new addition in royal who can't be naturally integrated with an existing dynamic but i honestly feel like the writing team realised that and acknowledged it, and really leaned into it, and that made it work incredibly well for me. like, it's part of her character that she's sort of an outsider. it's not like p4g's incredibly clumsy integration of marie and subsequent attempt to shove her down everyone's throat as the canon love interest in p4ga (knife). sumi has that outsider vibe on purpose and it makes me really like her dynamic with the thieves as an individual
goro also feels slightly out of place in these chats, but his conversational style blends more naturally with the other thieves at this point and he even uses their codenames sometimes. i keep saying my chatfic series isn't a real Series because the lore keeps changing, but if we accept that they're all kind of following a General Continuity, assume this takes place some time after the last fic in which ren added goro to the groupchat and they made an effort to integrate him into their friend group. he's kind of there now and has settled into being the weird boyfriend. that's his role.
every time goro says something like "ren and i" assume it's the text equivalent of him talking to the group with his arm around ren's waist.
ok i got really fond of this silly running joke where sumi brings up the weather when she's feeling uncomfortable. she's so polite. i like this thread because setting it up meant i got to tie it off like this:
this just made me happy lol i liked writing this. i tried to use it to demonstrate that despite goro's abrasiveness he obviously knows sumire pretty well, he's attuned to her quirks and knows how to tell when she's having a bad time with her anxiety, so he uses her little weather habit to ground her.
i honestly dont think goro and sumire could be considered close in p5r and as much as i like the "royal trio" in canon they're not really... like... friends? with each other? they're both attached to ren, so it' more a V shape than anything else. but that said, i really LIKE goro and sumi's canon dynamic. he takes a really grouchy but politely attentive supervisory role to her during their few forays into the palace as a trio where he doesn't really know her well but clearly identifies her as a harmless little tryhard who needs some guidance and steps into that role grudgingly, and she immediately looks up to him despite being very wrong footed by his ruthlessness, which i find incredibly charming. i think given time they could be good friends, they just didn't get much chance to know each other very well in canon. so i tried to kinda do that here.
once goro stops being evil and joins the group they all kind of tiredly accept that his role is to occasionally push a cup off a bench while smirking and refuse to clean it up. emotionally, i mean.
wait i need to backtrack chronologically to talk about akeshu.
in this scene they're in the same room lol talking and snickering while typing. im trying to get at that vibe of the annoying couple who is flirting with each other, via you. you know? like ostensibly they're talking to you (sumire) but everything they say to you is part of their stupid game. sumi is incidental to goro and ren teasing each other about flirting with someone else, goro is reporting everything ren says because his boyfriend is so eye-rollingly foolish in a cute way. they're very tickled by how amusing and charming they are. gross. disgusting. sumire im so sorry for putting you through this
anyway here are too many of my favourite jokes from the fic
#futaba gets a lot of my favourite punchlines because i love her. i think she's an incredible vessel for comedic timing#once again you can see how much i overthink everything#given the amount of thought that goes into character shit for what LOOKS like a stupid 3 second chatfic#but is really. a stupid 3 second chatfic with twenty years of overthinking behind it#it takes time and effort. to be this stupid#anyway i love sumi. i think she's so cute. i like her dynamic with the thieves so much#ive said it before but i think chatfic is one of those mediums that looks so deceptively simple because#you know it's just silly dialogue and memes. it's very accessible. anyone can write a funny chatfic#but i think it's such a character-forward 'genre' that it's really really difficult to do well in the sense that it feels like the characte#s you know and not just mouthpieces for memes with familiar names attached. so im kinda obsessed with the genre#it relies so heavily on every character having a distinctive voice without trying too hard to be unique#ideally you should be able to read one of these with no names attached ands till get a general sense of who's talking#without having to rely on liek (sorry) homestuck style quirks which make it visibly obvious#that' skinda hard because irl people's typing styles aren't THAT distinct you know. theres only so many variations#you can make to a person's use of grammar punctuation capitalisation etc before it becomes a gimmick instead of an idiosyncrasy#but hopefully if the character voice is strong enough their identtiy should come through more subtly anyway. idk .idk if im there but i lov#to work towards it#wow i wrote anothr essay in the tags about my love for Modern Epistolary Fiction (chatfic)#after already writing a whole essay in the post#i mgonna shut up guys thanks for having me#rookfic#asks#p5#rookthots
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Genuinely curious, what’s up with Noir’s age? And what does it have to do with his 08/09 run? ((You may ignore if you wish :D))
i no longer have to do an extremely long explaination about comics noir because it has already been done here, by foolsocracy!!!!!!! really great breakdown of his very vague age, which is never said outright in the 08-09 run, only implied!! my own personal take on this is that he's 17-turning-18 in the first one, just about graduated high school but not able to afford college (see the panel below LOL)
this also got a little longer than i thought it would, so under the cut for the rest of it! the tl:dr is "itsv!noir is not the same as comics!noir, and people saying that he's 19 isn't strictly true. to me, he's around 30!"
eyes without a face (the 09 run!!) only takes place 8 months after, in september 1933, which makes peter 18-turning-19. this is more of a headcanon though!! (see the noir birthday poll, which made me a noir-is-a-december-baby truther)
(peter being a libra is mentioned once in the first issue of amazing spider-man (2015), mostly as a punchline, and a specific date of october 10th was given in another issue that i have lost. other media, like with the mcu, has his birthday on august 10th. but to me noir is a sagittarius and you cannot pry that from me)
the 2020 run of noir begins establishing the year as 1939, making peter around his mid-20s, and 25 if you believe me on the 'peter was 17 in noir 2008' LOL.... i won't lie though i haven't read this one properly i very quickly skimmed so pinch of salt regarding my takes on the 2020 run
noir being in his teens during the first original runs is why "itsv!noir is 17-19" goes around so often! i've seen that on tumblr, twitter AND on tiktok and i don't mind what people hc, but it has become a pet peeve when people say it like its canon even though it's never been mentioned by the writers or the art book. itsv!noir is similar to his comic counterpart, but his differences in his origin story make me interpret him as a different noir (like how peter b.'s dimension is 616B, making him... 90214B?)
again, we are straying from itsv canon/etc here because i'm deranged, but i personally hc noir as being 32! some of my friends think he's in his mid-20s, others think he's older, but really the only reason is that 32 is the midpoint between the other two peter parkers: ripeter was 26 and peter b is 38. he's also voiced by nic cage, which makes me think older in the first place!
i just like the idea that he's more experienced that ripeter, but hasn't gone through as much as peter b. he spends most of the movie being broody ("moral ambiguity of your actions!", "matches burn down to my fingertips", etc etc), or snarkier than you'd expect ("it's that easy" "who are you again?" "you gonna fight or are you just bumping gums" etc etc). he also very sweetly tells everyone that he loves them before he leaves !!! i feel like it can in fact be in character for a peter parker in his late 20-early 30s, distanced from his tragedies in his own world by time (he doesn't forget them, that's different !) being able to look out for the spiders around him.
okay now we are VERY deep into hc territory, but it makes him able to balance out the rest of the itsv spider-gang as an older-brother figure who's able to guide peni, miles and gwen but also be able to act as a voice of reason for peter b. and ham if the sitauation calls for it. that being said noir is still peter parker and is therefore capable of spider-esque tomfoolery, which can lead to him misjudging the need for a snarky one liner ("this is a pretty hard core origin story"). my characterisation of him is also very inspired by heyitsspiderman, the itsv fic that changed me for the better, and noir isn't even in it that much LOL
veering back into itsv!noir's age and your actual question though: he's always read older in the movies, and not at all 17-19. noir is always going to be around 30 (32 if i have to give a number) to me!! if anything, he did go through the same kind of 'canon events' as comics noir did, but is an older and more experienced version of him, with tweaks to the backstory (like a radioactive spider instead of a spider-god, and webshooters instead of organic webbing). there are reasons ofc to see him being younger (egg creams are non-alcoholic, and that if it's 1933, his comicsverse self would be 18-19 too) . however you must consider that sony didn't expand on this and therefore it's up to fan interpretation and also that
#this kind of turns into meta . sort of . sorry about that#and i know some people take those jokes noir makes as like. just very blunt observations of what is happening#i personally believe they are jokes that aren't landing. or just him being a bit annoying <3 i love him for this#i can talk forever and forever about movie noir. its how i got into him in the first place . picked me up and swept me away#and now i overthink and read too much into his like. 6 mins of screentime#also the rich beautiful itsv noir backstory that exists only in my mind..... which is mostly the same#just with small tweaks and adjustments. its MY SIDE CHARACTER and I GET TO CHOOSE THE HCS#eg. the insane 'peter quits working at the bugle very annoyingly for everyone involved before becoming a PI' like this shit just#swirls in my brain. forever and ever.#noir#answered#edit: sorry im just realising this is boiling down to itsv noir is freshly out of his 20s#therefore experiencing post 20s clarity and is not yet going through a peter b-like midlife crisis#and is not a teenager anymore and doesn't have to battle puberty as well as supervillians#so he's somehow doing a little better than the rest of them and able to pass on funny little tips and lifehacks
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Logan and Max have a talk. Sort of. (I have never written Logan before, so I don't know if this even makes sense. Almost nothing happens, but there could be a second part in the future, who knows (not me)).
Logan wishes he was better at telling Alex no. He doesn't want to be at this party, for a race he barely even took part of, his car giving up on lap 15. He doesn't want to be standing here, near the wall, as he watches the other drivers drink and dance, ignoring him completely. He doesn't want the drink Alex placed in his hand before disappearing, without even telling him what was in it. He wants to go to bed. He wants to call his mom.
One hour, that's how much time he has promised himself. He'll stay one hour, long enough to say he was there, not long enough to make him want to get completely smashed and sob into some girl's chest (that had been one time, but it had been a low point he does never want to repeat), and then he'll go back to the hotel. He doesn't remember the time difference well enough to know if he'll be able to talk to his mom before going to sleep, barely remembers in which country they're in.
He's contemplating his glass again, trying to decipher what kind of alcoholic concoction is in there and to ignore the thumping bass, when a pair of sneakers and blue jeans appear in his line of vision.
He looks up and finds himself face to face with three-soon-to-be-four times world Champion Max Verstappen. He doesn't think he's ever been in a one to one conversation with Max before, so he can't think about a single reason why he should be standing in front of him, looking straight at him. Unless he's here to kick him out? Would Max kick him out of the party for being too pathetic?
Now he's being self-pitying, he needs to stop. No drinking and sobbing incidents tonight.
"You okay, mate?" Max asks, voice barely loud enough over the music, eyes intense. The glass in Logan's hand feels slippery, he's afraid he'll drop it.
"Yeah, fine!" he replies, cringing at his own basic response, even if he doesn't know what else he could have said. It's not like Max is asking because he really cares, and it's not like he could give him the truthful answer either.
Instead of moving on and going back to the party like Logan is expecting after the somewhat failed social interaction, Max keeps looking at him, tilting his head slightly, eyes narrowed, before he steps closer and plucks the glass from Logan's hand, placing it on a nearby table.
"Follow me," he orders. He doesn't wait before turning around and walking away. For some reason, Logan doesn't even question it, just unsticks himself from his wall and follows him to the bar, where Max orders a beer and another g&t, and then up a flight of stairs, onto a balcony.
"Are we allowed to be here?" Logan asks, looking at the very obvious DO NOT OPEN sign hanging on the balcony door Max is already pushing open.
Max just shrugs, going outside and sitting down on a lawn chair, placing the drinks on the low table in front of him. Of course, Logan reminds himself, he's Max Verstappen, who's going to tell him no? He probably could buy this whole place out himself if he wanted to.
Logan sits down next to him.
"Here," Max says, passing him the beer. Again, Logan doesn't question it before taking a sip. Much better than Alex's weird drink.
For a long moment, they just sit in silence. They can still hear the music from downstairs, but it's different out here, with the sounds of the city and the fresh air. Logan almost forgets about being confused and upset, about wanting to go home. Home home. Then Max speaks again.
"We can talk about why you are sad, or we can sit here until I finish my drink. Both are okay."
Logan doesn't understand. Why is Max, of all people, wanting to talk to him about his shitty season? And why would he want to just sit there with him? Does he look that pathetic?
He tries to feel upset, tries to look for the spark of indignation, but he comes up empty. He can just stare at Max's profile as the other takes a sip of his drink, eyes fixed on the skyline, throat working.
Max doesn't ask again. He must accept that Logan's answer is silence, doesn't even seem put off by it, but Logan's brain can't stop buzzing, questions bouncing around so fast he can barely keep up with them.
They stay quiet. Max finishes his drink. Logan keeps watching him as he stretches slightly, before he stands up and turns to face him.
"If you want to come talk to me, I know how it feels, to be hungry" he says slowly, measured, like he's been thinking about this for the whole time. "But if you want advice right now..."
It takes a second for Logan to realize Max is waiting for a sign, and he rushes to nod. Max's lip curls up slightly, his eyes crinkling, before he turns serious again.
"At some point, you will of course have to decide if you want to lay down and wait for the team to take pity, or if you want to bite and make them work with you."
Logan blinks. Max blinks back.
When it's clear that Logan isn't going to say anything, Max nods, turns around, seems to rethink and turns back, his eyes impossibly bright.
"I can show you how to take what you want, whatever you want." Suddenly, it feels like they're not just talking about racing anymore. Logan's neck feels hot. Max licks his lips, something dangerous in his expression that is usually reserved for the track, for when things aren't as he'd like. Logan has seen it before, but never turned towards him. He's stuck on his chair, feeling like prey despite Max telling him he could, and should, take.
He waits for the blow, he knows it's coming, but is still completely unprepared for the way Max smiles when he speaks.
"I will even call you a good boy, if you do it right."
The sound Logan lets out is undignified enough it will have to go in the lowest points list right next to the drinking&crying episode, but Max laughs, not unkindly, squeezing Logan's shoulder.
"You have my number, and you know where I'll be next week. Drink your beer."
Logan has the bottle pressed against his lips even before Max has made it across the balcony, going back to the party.
#i don't know what this is i just know a fog came into my brain and when it disappeared this was on the page#do logan and max even have a ship name#as usual if there are typos no there aren't#and if this sucks please tell me so i can delete it and then die in shame thanks <3#logan/max#my writing#my brain is completely empty now i don't even know how to tag anymore#im gonna click post before i overthink this to death#just realised logan says exactly two words during this whole thing how dare i call this a 'talk'
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you said stay here, but i'm running out of air
#posting this before i can overthink it#dragged out my graphite pencils for the first time since highschool#it used to be my favorite medium back then#i don't know what happened#i think one day i just put my pencils away and...never picked them up again#it was nice to use them again
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Tried to finally give a design to some Tangled (series) OCs of mine.
They're all important people in Aiden's life (my main OC) so their descriptions are mostly built around him.
Alan and Edith are Aiden's parents, they're simple and sweet people, I dont have much to say about them. They're farmers in Old Corona and are old friends of Quirin and Ulla as they arrived in the Light Kingdom around the same time. They tend to keep a low profile but they're not afraid to take matter into their own hands if necessary. When Quirin is busy they tend to fill his role in his absence.
Laurel and Daniel are siblings, they're children of the family in charge of a prominant merchant guild. They both work in the castle at the moment, Laurel as a maid assisting in the physician office specifically, Daniel as a royal guard. Laurel is the eldest of the two and is aware of every gossip going around the castle, she knows everyone. Daniel usually finds people tiring and is rather focus on his duties.
Daniel is Aiden's best friend in the castle, he is usually assigned in escorting them when the young physician is sent to nearby villages for assistance or yearly check ups. However the two met when Daniel was still working for his parents, Aiden needed to pass command for specific herbs and Daniel was the one in charge of taking commands at the time.
Caroline is another friend of Aiden but she is from outside the castle. Officially she works at an inn in a nearby village. Aiden's mentor is close friend with her boss so they used to carry favor for the other, which resulted in Caro and Aiden meeting. Caroline is an enthusiastic and fun woman, she has a reputation of being overconfident but overall people enjoy her company and recognize her hard work.
Hubert is the current royal physician and Aiden's mentor. He was the only doctor who hadn't given up when the queen fell terribly ill, thus he has been the only royal physician for a while. He is known for being stubborn and sometimes reckless. Most of his students ended up sick of him and left to carry their practice elsewhere. At the moment he cannot wait to finally retire and is adamant on making Aiden his last pupil and successor.
THE END-
No, actually, I have so many more to do but its a start. I like them all very much :3 some things might change later (as always) but for now... there you go.
#posting this before I overthink too much again#sorry for any 'idk how to english actually'-#you can tell so easily that those werent drawn at the same time lmaoooo#i like them#idk if their design is really different/interesting enough.. very unsure about hubert. he looks too normal- just tired. urgh#eryart#doodles#art#tangled oc#tts oc#rta oc#tangled the series#eryanwrites#oc tag
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just so u guys know i haven't been this attached to someone (suna) since oikawa tooru which started like 4 years ago i kid u not
#might have to start doing self ship stuff too jk i could never i'd overthink actually posting any of that stuff way too hard#i hate to even say this BUT although the WORLD doesn't think we're comptaible i think we'd be just fine#like according to my research 🤓☝️ our only problem is aquariuses like to be independent while cancers need reassurance or something#well good thing#warning for family problems??#GOOD THING I WAS NEGLECTED AS A CHILD LMAOOO#i'll be fine i'm pretty independent too so we would be such a power couple#thank u for listening#ness' brainvomit <3#also in my heart i always thought he was a scorpio before the world decided to crush me#and whatever i say goes#if i say suna and me are compatible who r u to tell me i'm wrong#don't test me i'll cry#not bc of u i'll think about wdo bc it's the only thing that can make me cry but i'll blame it on u
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TRAINING ARC: START!! BOTHER YOUR GUARDIAN AND EXHIBIT ISSUES. NOW SOLVE THOSE ISSUES BY BOTHERING GUARDIANS. I HAVE FULL FAITH IN OUR HEROS!
#jrwi fanart#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi pd spoilers#jrwi show#cw blood#okayokay tryin out this queue thing for the first time despite usin this webbed site since 2013. if all goes accordin to plan this should#post at noon tomorrow. in the mEANT TIME CAN I TAAALLK ABOUT THIS EPISODE PRETTY PLESe??? THIS SHOW IS SO FUCKIN FUNNY...#SO MANY BITS I WISH I COULDVE DRAWN.. THIS WHOLE SHOW IS SUCH A PERFECT CARTOON IN MY BRRAAIAIINN. VYNS whole deal with talkin to himself#wasnt his dealio like. he had like NO complications for most o the show before this. wats that one gravity falls scene with soos goin like#i knew it. im literally the perfect man. and then he raises his arms for a heavenly choir and a dove lands on him. thats vyncent. BUT NOOW#MY BOY COMPLICATED!!! THE OVERTHINKING THING IS SO FUCKIN GOOD AND FUNNY. MY BABY BOY CAN DO ANYTHING. HES SO GOOD AT BREAKING ROCKS#Oh and this doodle page also includes the winebago shenanigens after reuniting with tide. the DARTS remember the darts#remember when tide actually snapped at william for driving like a FOOL!!! LOVE THAT SO MUCH. i gotta draw tide more aauuughghghuhh#ohh my GOODD WILLIAMS BEEF WITH THE RABBIT N THE BOAR WAS SO FUNNY... THESE CHARACTERS ARE ALL SOO FLAWED#WILLIAM IS SUCH A LITTLE ASSHOLEE. VYNCENT IS STUBBORN BEYOND BELIEF AND REASON. DAKOTA IS PERFECT HES A LIL DUMB BUT HES SO SWEET AND KIND#AND OH MY GOD ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST SAY. bizly is such a magnifiscent dm. i remember sayin months ago that#he finds ways to stack impossible odds against our heroes while still leaving room for them to succeed. the pd hasnt taken a single W but!#theyre surviving!! theyre keeping it together! from meat planets to cartoons to other dimensions to fighting the GODS!!! pd is genuinely#such a delight to listen to. a comedy and a tragedy. a story of ragtag heroes doing their best to do good despite their own failings.
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#art#traditional art#portrait#artists on tumblr#original art#pencil art#artwork#drawing#traditional drawing#black and white#Liam whispers into the void#Liam's stuff#an old birthday gift for someone i used to know#(cuz why talk to people you like when you can... you know. just quietly create things for them <.<)#this was done so long ago it's literally drawn on regular print paper XD (poor paper was not happy with all the shading i inflicted upon it#anyway! ''i'm gonna post some art soon'' said i and then even went as far as to make draft posts with the aforementioned art#and then forgot to actually. you know. hit post#okay lbr less forgot and more was overthinking things (as always)#fingers crossed it won't be too long before i post sth else lol
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wip wednesday
thank you for the tag @racfoam @cringe-queasy @leafiloaf and @reggieblk 🥹 it is always an honour
tagging: everyone 😭 i'm sorry i still don't know a lot of people. and the people i do know have been tagged 🤦
i had a difficult time selecting a wip. i suppose this is my fault for having too many and never getting anything done before starting sixty more 🤦 and how long are these meant to be? i'm not sure. have this:
He didn’t believe in ghosts. Isn’t that how it always starts? Harry didn’t remember the first time. Or the second, the third, fourth, or fifth. Harry did, however, remember meeting him. Though, it’s not a memory he liked to dwell on often. Harry had gotten quite good at disregarding the stains in his vision. The smudges that sulked just in his periphery. He learned how to ignore them, to avoid the whispers and stares, the pointing fingers from giggling children, and the concerned shared glances of his teachers. He hadn’t yet grasped an understanding of shifts in reality. Of identifying when very real-looking things were not very real at all. At least not real to anyone else. Because for Harry, who walked into walls people couldn’t see and whose skin bore scars from his curious nature provoking his detriment, there was no difference. Both realities were single, the same. It was his…anomalousness that spurred their fated meeting. As it happened, Harry was an easy ride for the lost, the damned. Something bright, whole, and alive that blipped in and out and promised the sweet, sweet temptation turned attainable chance at a second try—a do-over. And though these damned, untethered and unable to pass on, appeared mutilated and broken, missing in more than just soul—they were people once. They are people still beneath the guilt and sorrow and anger. In all, alive or otherwise, there was a desperation that couldn’t be snuffed out. Harry knew they saw him as a saviour, a beacon, a host. He also knew this desperation left them unaware of the harm they caused and the scars they left. Harry was too headstrong to let go. They tried to overpower him and failed. But Harry wasn’t always strong enough to keep himself safe and wasn’t always privy to his powers. He fought for Harry and taught him how to stay alive. “You’re thinking about me again,” a pleased voice interrupted Harry’s thoughts. It laughed at his disgruntled face, the sound humming from just beside him. “I am not,” Harry insisted and continued moving through the rubble of the fallen house around them. Scorched wood and ash still hot and popping. “Come now, Harry. I’ve known you long enough to know what that look means. Hardly ever is it about anyone else.” “Says a lot about you, then. Don’t you think?” “Oh, hush,” Voldemort walked a step further, blocking Harry’s path for just a moment. His towering height and dark mass blocked nearly everything else from sight. “You were much cuter as a child, you know. Coming to me for advice, hiding away in my protection, calling us Soulmat—“ Harry pressed his hands to his ears, “Get out of my head! Stop shuffling through my thoughts— you have no right.” Voldemort’s teasing wisps turned sharp. “No right? I have every right. You repressed me for half a decade and summoned my help like no time was lost, expecting me to go along with your desperate little attempts to make friendly with the beings on this side of the line even though we both know you’ll never fit in here or there.” Harry scoffed, “Typical. You’re acting out because I needed a little space? We’ve been attached at the hip longer than I can remember, and you’re throwing a fit because I asked for some time to sort things out—time that, for you, is so stupidly inconsequential that it’s laughable.” “What can I say, Harry?” Voldemort sighed all dramatics and grating callousness. His sarcasm was scathing enough to scatter Harry with the house’s ashes, “Ever since we met, all my time seems to revolve around yours.” “Great. I hope you had a fucking miserable five years.” Voldemort crept even closer. “What a tongue you have in you today. It would be a shame to cut it out so soon when we’ve spent so long apart.” Now Harry was sighing. He pinched the bridge of his nose, disrupting his glasses, “Alright. I’m being an asshole; I get it.” But so was Voldemort. “I heard that.” You were meant to, Harry thought viciously and stalked around him to survey the damage like they were supposed to be doing.
#harrymort#tomarrymort#tomarry#my fic#possible title:#fic: the opposite of a haunting#tag game#wip wednesday#thank you again for including me#oh this is too long isn't it#i can remove some#i'm going to post it before i overthink anymore
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I conducted a vote on which fic snippet to share, and you chose the shipfic I'm writing out of spite!
(Sooo, just for a little context: this is from a short fic set in the same setting as my main Medieval AU, but not in the same universe/continuity as my main Medieval AU. Kinda like what SW Legends is to canon, yknow?)
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“I’m the PRINCESSSSS!”
Ahsoka’s flailing arm nearly hit Rex in the face, but he dodged, and caught her around the middle, stopping her tipsy swaying. “Yes, Your Highness, we know.”
She threw an arm around his neck and squished her cheek against his pauldron. “I’m prettyyyyy.”
“If you insist, Princess.”
“Do you think I’m pretty?”
She swerved wildly, and he redirected her. “It would be unseemly for me to answer that, Princess.”
“Seemly. Seeeeeemly. Stupid Seemley Ress,” she said, slurring his name, then trying to correct herself. “Stupid Seemly Ress. Resss. Ressss! My tongue’sss not workin’, Ress!”
“So I hear.”
“I’m pretty. And I’m strong.”
“As everyone knows.”
“And I’m tall!”
“Acknowledged.”
“And I’m orange!”
“Correct.”
“AND I’m… I’mma walk on my own now!”
She shoved him away and took two wobbly steps forward before he had to catch her again.
“I can do it!” she whined. “I’m a lady. I’m twen’ny yearssss ol’. I can walk!”
She very clearly could not, so with a sigh, Rex bent over and lifted her completely, carrying her down the hallway. “All due respect, ladies do not get sloshed at formal dinners.”
“Isss no’ my fault,” she muttered. “Issstupid Korkie’s fault.”
“Right,” Rex said, ignoring her and the looks he was getting. Mostly sympathetic ones; everyone knew the Princess was trouble and was used to her getting into worse predicaments than this.
“Korkie says you liiiiike me,” she continued, singsongy. “He says you’re—you’re not sssaying an’thin ‘bout it cause of, uh. Uhhhhh. Clones! People don’t like you. Stupid people don’t. Good people do. Korkie says I like you.”
“That would be surprising, considering the amount of complaining you do whenever I’m around,” Rex deadpanned.
#korkie didn't even do anything poor guy#ahsoka's just throwing him under the bus like 'yep it is definitely korkie's fault that i got drunk.'#and rex doesn't buy it lol#soooo anyway. this is my very first foray into writing rexsoka and they're both firmly in the denial stage rn!#(I don't normally ship it due to the age gap but since they're only 3-4 years apart in this au and they met when she was 17 and not 14#I figured if i was gonna spitewrite a rexsoka fic then the medieval setting would be the one to do it in!)#fun fact! i had contemplated actually having them be a couple in the ACTUAL medieval au and even came up with a few fun scenes!#but i scrapped it in favor of a funnier idea#but that meant i had to scrap the scenes too#BUT by writing a fic in the same setting but not the same universe i can still write those scenes!#fic snippet#fic sneak peek#spite writing#ahsoka tano#captain rex#rexsoka#annnyyyywaaaaaay posting now before i overthink and doubt myself uwu#cause writing semi-controversial ships that i know some of my tumblr buddies might not like makes me nervous lol#but hey i'm just turning it into a game. i'm calling it 'will i lose followers for posting about this ship and how many will i lose'#star wars medieval au
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i have this friend who's a straight guy in theory but in practice has a boyfriend who transitioned while they were dating but they kept seeing each other bc it worked for them and they didn't feel like anything in their relationship had changed etc. which is completely fine and 100% their business. but anyways me and this friend are very comfortable talking about sex so he hears a lot of my woes about getting no bitches and it seems like we share some of the same kinks and i don't know if he's joking but he has sort of straight up invited me to a 3way with him and his hot trans boyfriend . and anyways I'm trying to decide if I'd rather accept a pity fuck from a self-ided """straight""" guy (reiterating that he's definitely attracted to some men, but just doesn't feel comfortable identifying as bi because he wouldn't actively pursue men..? or doesn't consider it a significant enough part of himself to identify with? i think?) or potentially die a virgin because i have literally 0 other sexual prospects and I can't take it anymore. Anyways
#mdni#he's also offered to set me up before which is extremely generous but he seems to be under the impression that I'm primarily attracted to#men which. is not the case. like my attraction to men is so sparse that i thought i was a lesbian for the better part of 10 years#much to think about#disclaimer to this post i am hot I'm just autistic and live in the middle of shit fuck nowhere with my parents and don't have a car#ig it's just weird bc i thought he ided as straight bc he wouldn't pursue men.but then he's the one inviting me#despite my being a man for as long as we've been friends sooo..? is it unconscious transphobia is it internalized biphobia is it none of my#business idk. who knows#this is why i can never get dicked down cause i can't not overthink it
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