#<- we're going to ignore the consistent worry that i will say this and they'll go 'youre lying its not that bad. you wouldn' t be doing this

[theood]

One of my long-term goals is that when I'm financially stable I'm gonna finally get on meds for anxiety

[emovulture]

Dear parents.

( this is a rant, but please read it anyways )

If your child is showing or has showed VERY OBVIOUS SIGNS OF A MENTAL ILLNESS, wether that be ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, BPD, whatever - for the love of God, please dont ignore them.

That child is going to grow up, and they're going to realize they're different from everyone else, and it could very well affect them mentally.

I'm not a phycologist, I don't have any degrees, I'm just a teenager going on a rant, I bare with me adults, please. But I've been showing very clear signs of ADHD and also social anxiety my whole life. No, I'm not going to say stuff like "Oh I'm forgetful, I have must ADHD!", or "Ugh, I just hate people, I'm so shy, I must have social anxiety!". I've done research and I've asked people with ADHD what it's like, and I relate very heavily to them (more specifically inattentive ADHD). Plus, my dad said he's gotten diagnosed, and ADHD is hereditary.

Some symptoms I have of ADHD consist of forgetfulness, lack of motivation, daydreaming frequently, easily distracted, appearing withdrawn, I very often blurt out things without thinking beforehand, I'm sensitive, I fidget A LOT, can't seem to stop moving (finger tapping, leg bouncing, etc), my thoughts are an endless stream of words and noises, and there's more. I also struggle socially, and I pick up phrases that I'll say constantly for a few months, I'll get 'obsessions' that last for many months or even years that I can't seem to stop thinking or talking about. It makes my friends annoyed. My interests affect my learning (and life in general), to which gets me in trouble. I get called lazy, or get told I'm "not trying hard enough", or at home I'll often forget to do chores or something and I'll get told that "I'm difficult", or "just need to focus on the right things". I get really frustrated and snappy when people interrupt something I'm doing, such as drawing, playing a video game, or just watching something on my phone. It's a genuine problem, and I know for a fact that I'm not 'normal' like everyone else.

And I'm not sure if I need to be properly diagnosed for me to say I have social anxiety, but I've been "shy" my whole life and I never grew out of it. I'm not shy, I'm scared of people. I need to be by someone's side (my mum or friends) if I'm out in public (either school, or shops), or I'll get upset and really nervous. I don't like talking to strangers, even if it's just my mum's close friends, and I HATE ordering my own food. I hate eating in public, because I feel like everyone is just watching over my shoulder, judging every tiny movement I make. I worry about my looks way to much, and if my hair doesn't look the way I want it to, I'll be insecure the whole day, thinking that everyone also thinks I look terrible, and wonder why I stepped foot out of my house that that. It all makes me want run away and hide from the world.

My fingers look bad because I unintentionally bite off my nails in stressful situations, and rip off my skin until they unfortunately bleed. I excessively pick at my face/pimples until it's red, and my acne gets worse from that. "Just stop it", I can't. I can't help these urges, because once I'm doing it, I can't stop, no matter how much I scold or degrade myself for ruining my face or fingers.

I struggle in many topics in school because they just don't appeal to me, so my mind wanders, and I tend to just stop doing a lot of the work in those classes, all the while telling myself that I'm just lazy or to dumb to understand. I can't raise my hand and ask for help, because otherwise I'll be a bother to the teacher, and since everyone else gets what we're doing, they'll all snicker and make fun of me. At least that's what I tell myself. I've been trying to tell my mum about my worries about mental illnesses I might have, but I can't get the words out of my throat no matter how hard I try, and its like I go mute. (It's also hard to mention my dad having ADHD, because my parents aren't together.)

This has affected my mental health for years now, and I'll be honest, I had to go to a counselor a few years ago because I slipped into depression for a long while. (I'm much better now, thanks to a lot of help from professionals)

So parents/carers, if your child is showing signs of a mental illness, do some research and find ways to help them. It's hard for kids to speak up about this face to face. Even if you for some reason can't get them diagnosed because you don't have enough money (or there's a different problem), please don't call your kid "lazy" or "not enough". None of that jazz. That won't help your kid, and it'll make them feel like they're not good enough, or that they're stupid or something. It's your job as a parent to care about your kids, and make sure they're safe and loved. Mental health is sososo important, especially for kids/teenagers, because if they don't get the help they need if their mental health is declining or they have mental illnesses, it can lead to some really serious stuff down the line.

Please spread awareness about this, reblog and share so it can reach more people. I apologize for rambling, but I need more parents to actually care about and recognize their children's behaviors, because sometimes it can save lives.

Feel free to add onto this, because I don't think I did the best job at listing all of my concerns.

Thank you.

[kadetheradio]

Since so many people have a fanmade weird route variant, might as well join.

It's called SugarSong/Forced Friendship.

It's a K_K-centric route because I like tormenting my comfort characters. SCC are siblings in this AU.

To start the route, Ignore every NPC except K_K. You don't have to buy his CD bagels, you just aren't allowed to buy them from Cap'n. You can't talk to anyone who isn't K_K, so ignore the other NPCs as well, You MUST talk to K_K every time you see him. Next, when you get to the battle, have Susie constantly use rude buster on both Sweet and Cap'n. Doing this about 4 times(2 on each) will end the battle, causing this interaction:

Sweet: "I don't feel to good..."

Cap'n: "Same here man, battles done."

K_K: "Oh no! Yes, let's go home!"

Once this happens, continue as normal(Without talking to NPCs. Scripted events don't affect this.) up until you reach Sweet Cap'n Cakes shop. Enter the shop. Everything is normal aside from the fact that the Auto Axe is replaced with a new item, the DigiScarf(They don't wanna sell an Axe to a girl who beat them up with one not to long ago.). Go to the talk section and click on the new dialogue option simply labeled "Cakes," Although dialogue implys that Kris is saying "K_K is my favorite." K_K reacts very positively towards this, thanking Kris while beaming. Sweet and Cap'n, despite seeming a bit jealous, simply talk about how K_K is pretty cool, not pushing any further. Leave. afterwards everything will continue as normal until you fall into the garbage dump. There you see K_K humming a quiet tune to themself and smiling. Talking to him, he will mention how he decided to go for a walk, but now he's a little lost. Ralsei will invite him to stick with the $!$! squad(Or whatever name you picked for your team in chapter 1, I just used that because picked it.), to which K_K agrees, as he likes how kind Kris was to them back in the field. K_K will always appear in the garbage dump, but will decline the offer if you didn't follow the exact instructions. Once K_K is in your party, he gets unique dialogue when interacting certain things. Such as laughing when you interact with the Egg plant that looks like a trash bag, feeling bad for trashy when Susie and Ralsei ignore him, and stuttering when meeting Nubert(He's starstruck OK?), Etc. When Susie and Ralsei leave, K_K stays behind. "Don't worry! I'll stay! We're friends, aren't we?:)"

Some important battle info:

Default Armor: Golden Bracelet

Default Weapon: NewCD

K_K has multiple spells:

K-Action: How K_K ACTs by himself, like with all Characters. Does not cost TP.

SilkMilk: Heals the entire party. costs 16% TP, 8% with BrokenCD

RockABye: Puts TIRED enemies to sleep, similar to Pacify & SleepMist. Costs 50% TP, 25% with BrokenCD

TastyBeats: K_K's equivalent of IceShock, killing/paralyzing enemies using powerful sound waves. costs 16% TP, 8% with BrokenCD.

SugarSong: K_K's Equivalent of Snowgrave . Fatal towards target, Causes user immense physical pain while being used. Costs 200% TP, 100% with BrokenCD.

Anyways, Now that we've heard that, let's continue with the route.

Continue with K_K, using TastyBeats to kill enemies. During this, K_K's smile seems to falter. After killing 10 enemies, K_K asks Kris a question

"...Why are we doing this again?"

After the question, you are given 2 responses. "Self Defense" & "We're friends, Right?" You must click the second one to progress through the route. Upon asking that, K_K says yes, and you are given 2 more choices. "I thought so" & "Friends do what friends want." You must click the second option once again. K_K look hesitant, but agrees. The only friends he ever had were his brothers, and they always listened to him. Surely it's a normal thing. Surely friends always listen to each other. Continue killing enemies until you reach the Addison from Snowgrave. They'll mention how they have a great gift for a pair of friends. This is the CentreCD. It will always be $1 more than the party has. Consistently pressure K_K into stealing it, until he stops protesting. The screen blacks out and you get the flavor text "the music sounds uneasy." shows on screen. When the screen lights up, the CentreCD is in the inventory and the Addison is gone. The front of the shop looks like it had been burnt. K_K looks uneasy, and when the CentreCD is equipped, he's silent. Continue through the route like normal, killing all enemies you encounter. K_K is no longer smiling and walking a lot slower. His battle sprite is now almost completely still and he rarely talks. Upon killing enough enemies, walk back. The boxes where Sweet Cap'n Cakes are in the normal game is replaced by an empty room with a broken CD. Equipping this for K_K will lower his HP down to 55 and he responds will a verbal "Ow" and an uncomfortable buzzing sound. Then walk back, killing every enemy you may have missed until you get to the room where the Berdly encounter would normally happen. This time however, it's Cap'n and Sweet. The beginning of the encounter goes something like this:

Cap'n: "K_K! There you are!"

Sweet: "We've been lookin' all over for man! We need to get home.

Cap'n: "Yeah, some psycho is going 'round and killin' everyone!"

K_K: "..."

Sweet: "Hey, uhm, everything alright man?"

Kris/Player: "Friends do what Friends want."

K_K: "...What?..."

The player repeats the sentence, with K_K becoming more shaken and desperate each time. Eventually Sweet and Cap'n butt in.

Sweet: "Look... We don't know what's going on but,"

Cap'n: "No one, messes with K_K like that."

Afterwards, a battle starts, with K_K becoming panicked. Like in regular Snowgrave, you need to max out your TP to use their new ability, SugarSong. K_K will not do anything during the battle. Not listening to anyone. He's in too much pain from the CD and too much distress with the current situation. Once your TP is maxed out, click on it. K_K will look at the ground in distress. The interaction goes like this.

SugarSong

"What?..."

SugarSong

"...N-No, not them..."

SugarSong

"I don't wanna hurt them..."

SugarSong

"..."

SugarSong

"..."

Friends do what Friends want.

K_K looks at the ground, before casting the spell. The Screen blacks out and the Flavor text reads "And suddenly, there was silence."

When you can see again, Sweet and Cap'n are nothing but piles of scrap metal and K_K is down(Reread the description of SugarSong). Interacting with K_K says "Put the scrap away?" You must select yes. The screen fades out and back in, now with K_K gone. Checking your items shows an unnamed object with the description "A friend. Fast asleep."

The rest of the route continues like a normal route, mainly due to the fact that there's no reason for any major changes. A few lines will be different but most things stay the same.

In the lightworld, there is a cassette player and speaker lying on the ground. interacting with them says "Broken beyond repair."

Back in castle town, Sweet Cap'n Cakes place won't be there, for obvious reason's, but entering Kris' room, K_K will be curled up in the corner, asleep. Interacting with him says "Goodnight Scrap friend"

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Laws of Attraction ep 8

I watched the ep on Sat as it aired but then forgot to post these notes. With it being the last ep, I didn't have so much to say...beyond screaming over the brilliance of everything, but here it is anyway.

(Oh god it's all over after this 😭 I miss them already).

That fight was actually great...even though I don't like boxing/fighting. I don't know why Navin isn't worried for Charn's safety though...

Those bruises on Tinn... 😂

I adore Rose and Maya as spies!! Spin-off series now with them as leads running an underground pi business with the bar/singing as a front! Thank you please.

What a fucking location. Out-fuckin-standing.

I LOVE THE DRAMA OF THIS!! LIVE-STREAMING THATTHEP'S CONFESSION?! CHARN YOU FUCKING GENIUS!

Please Charn, please turn off your ringtone 😭🙏🏽

Oh no...Tinn's going to rush in there, get caught by Thatthep's men, and they'll use him to lure Charn out. No no no...

Oh thank god...but wait...

YESSSSSSS CHARN. YOU EVIL GENIUS. FOR ONCE SOMEONE GOING INTO DANGER WEARS A BULLETPROOF VEST. THANK YOU!

Oh oh oh, there's half the ep left. Please let it just be Charn and Tinn being stupidly adorably in love.

Well I was right that the evidence from the doll would be too weak for a prosecution 🤷🏽‍♀️

I can't believe Tanthai still wants to see his father. Smh. I guess despite everything Thatthep did to him, he still seeks recognition and...love?

Charn is such a little shit. I love him.

Not the post-it notes 😭

The marriage equality advocacy speech!!! 👏🏼😍

Glad to see as a collective fandom we are all ignoring the Chan and Tin spellings of their names the show is using. Also, the lettering is in blue! (And it's already been pointed out that it's the same date as the airing day).

Galaxia!

Charn telling his mother that he's happy, with Tinn by his side, surrounded by All. That. Yellow.

Navin! That's it. He's amazing. 10/10. No notes. The best ex-boyfriend we could have gotten for Charn.

I love how Thatthep looks out of focus and obscured (even more than Charn is) behind the metal fence, as though he's not a prominent presence in Charn's life anymore (these are completely unedited screenshots apart from a little crop).

Oh my god the couple sweater vests 😂

Tanthai (and Thee) are finally freeeeeee!

We're all Granny! Yelling at them to kiss 😂

Ugh people in love stink (affectionate)

Not the dolls! 😭

Maya and Rose and their rings!

Tinn still has the ring necklace, and Charn's using his evil babygirl lawyering for good now!

All in all, a fantastic last ep. I think they could have had the wedding date a few years in the future and left it ambiguous as to whether it was a legal wedding or not. But I'm SO glad that from the beginning they set up Charn as being a bit smug about how great a lawyer he was...then made us wonder if he was going to do something stupid and impulsive...but then followed through with Charn's brilliant plan to 'catch' and deal with Thatthep. Yes, he is brilliant and he was right all along about it.

I guess I should add a final note on the colours...which stayed pretty consistent through the series (maybe I'll write another post about just this later) but in short I felt like green represented Tonkhao; Tinn was definitely a loyal blue boy; both Thatthep and Charn also used blue but as a front/a mask to their true selves; Tanthai was generally black and white but was forced to conform to his father's (blue) wishes and tied to the accident of (green) Tonkhao; and Charn...was a bit of an enigma because as well as his blue, he was accompanied by the red of revenge...but under it all I think he was a soft pastel, earthy tones guy, much like his mother...and which is why the shot of the dolls at the end made me gasp so much. Because not only were they there to represent Tonkhao but they both also have Charn and Tinn's colours.

[ep 1] [ep 2] [ep 3] [ep 4] [ep 5] [ep 6] [ep 7]

[depressologs]

Dear You,

I'm writing this with the intent that you'll never read it. I know I can't say these things to you face-to-face either, I just need this out of my head before it eats me alive.

I love you. That's it. You're it. You're everything I could ever want. And you're out of my reach. Out of my league really. I never really believed I had a shot, but I routinely delude myself into thinking it's possible, only to get smacked back down to reality.

I made sure I was right about how I felt too. I'd been crushing for a long time, and I was afraid I had put you on a pedestal. Turns out I hadn't, and I had actually underestimated how amazing you are and how exactly you were what I wanted in my life. One of the recent times we hung out it just sort of locked into place, I realized I could and wanted to do stuff like that with you forever. Since then every time we hang out I struggle with leaving. When I'm finally alone I can exhale. I spend my drive home beating myself up, replaying everything I said and did, as if there was some change I could have made in order to stay with you just a little bit longer.

I offer a lot of myself up for you, and you take very little. I focus too much on you, and not enough on myself or other people. I know you don't have interest in a romantic relationship with me, but some days it's all I can think about. How do I make it happen, or what it might look like. It's all fantasy, or delusion. Every reality check I receive comes in like a gut punch, sometimes it starts a spiral. Writing this all out was inspired by one. You're not doing anything wrong though, I'm doing this all to myself. I can't even take a break from you to try and drop the feelings, not that I want to. I'd have to explain, and I just can't. After you had a falling out with someone else, I knew I could never even begin to address it. And we've gotten even closer, as friends, since then. If I want you to be a permanent and consistent part of my life, how am I ever going to tell you something that I think will cause a rift? So instead I'll just suffer.

I feel like you probably know how I feel about you too. There's no way you're blind to it, but you might be trying to ignore it in the hopes the feelings go away. You avoid giving me details about some things, almost as if you know they'll hurt me. They usually do. That's not you hurting me though, that's me hurting myself. I worry too that I'm going to lose you soon. That you'll get your opportunity to leave and take it, and that it'll be the last time I see you. And if I don't tell you how I feel before that happens I never will, but also I cannot ever tell you for fear of losing you earlier than I was already going to.

I'm probably not done writing this, but I also need to be. I won't lie, it sucks that you're probably the one person I'm close enough with and comfortable enough with to talk about these problems with, because they involve you. I feel like I can't turn anywhere else about this, but I definitely can't bring it to you either. Hell I'm being vague in a post to a zero follower account just in case.

At the end of all of this though, we're friends. We were before I fell for you, we will be long after I figure out how to let it go, if I ever do. I love you like I've never loved anyone before, and really I want you to be happy. I just wish I was a bigger part of that. I wish I got to be happy too, with you.

Never blame yourself for how I feel on this. You did nothing but be yourself. I'm the idiot who decided he needed you. C'est la vie and all that.

[literaphobe]

Ngl I'm kinda really worried about noxcrew saying they wanna change dodgebolt so that teams can't use the funnel strat, which let's be real would nerf only Dream and his team cause he's the only one I've seen able to use the strat the most effectively and consistently. Like it's a genuinely hard strat to pull off well. And even then he adapts and changes to let others shoot too, and all his teammates agree to it so it's also unfair to say "it's against team spirit" and I feel like saying it's not entertaining to watch is just a completely subjective viewpoint.

But anyway, I feel like if they do go through with making changes (esp to a game which doesn't actually need any) we're just gonna get another parkour warrior where they decided to make it more difficult for dream to win they had to keep upping the difficulty to try and make it impossible to win (which tbh was a really weird direction to go?? Why make a game and decide that it should actively be unwinnable???) And they'll end up making dodgebolt unenjoyable for everyone

i doubt they’d actually do that since they probably would foresee some pushback + there are a bunch of posts on the mcc subreddit already w hundreds of upvotes detailing why they should not do that and why the funnel strat isn’t as ‘against team spirit’ as they think it is etc etc (side note: i don’t think noxcrew was that serious or trying to shit on dream that much this is more directed at people who are REALLY rooting for the ‘funnel strat nerf’)

i suppose my two cents are that calling the funnel strat ‘boring’ is kind of insulting and also really. dumb! because it misunderstands the strat entirely and ‘entertainment’ is entirely subjective also assuming dream ‘hogged’ the arrows in mcc16 is simply not true

okay so. some people think funnel strat is ‘boring’ because it’s too ‘sweaty’ and the game ends ‘too quickly’. and like mf. that dodgebolt felt like a century. every time a shot was missed bc dream and fruit were so fucking cracked at dodging i wanted to die. this dodgebolt had me SCARED. mcc15 was way less scary bc dream never died. up until this mcc i had NEVER seen dream die live in dodgebolt before my heart was POUNDING :(

anyway. u can make the argument that clean sweeps are ‘boring’ because it ends too quickly. likewise, anyone can claim that dodgebolts like mcc16 took too long and all the missed shots made it hard to watch, etc. u can make anything sound boring. thats how subjectivity works

and then some people are like ‘but some of the ccs don’t like the funnel strat!! get rid of it bc mcc should make the players happy, it doesn’t matter what the fans want!!’ and jesus christ. if a cc doesn’t like the funnel strat they don’t have to use it? dream has literally never forced anyone to do the funnel strat? i’m pretty sure dream’s mcc13 team didn’t plan on doing it if they had made dodgebolt bc scott doesn’t like it. like. come on

and also. the funnel strat isn’t as simple as ‘only the best shooter takes shots until they die’ because it honors feed the hot hand and in order to test the hot hand u have to let the other players shoot which dream DID. bad didn’t get to shoot but that’s because he died right before the arrow got handed to him

people complaining saying ‘all the team members should contribute equally in dodgebolt because that’s how teamwork is supposed to be’ are ignoring the very nature of mcc. every player… contributes and carries at some point. every player gets carried at some point. just because dream gets an ace or some shit n a member on his team didn’t take as many shots doesn’t mean they’re not contributing and that the games they played as a team didn’t matter. sometimes people wanna stand back and dodge and body block for players w better shot accuracies. and that’s? still really important? it’s still vital to the team’s victory? just because it’s not as ‘flashy’ doesn’t mean it has to change

idk what else i had to say on this. but about parkour warrior im sick of people acting like ‘they removed parkour warrior bc it was a bad game n people hated it!’ when what happened was they were so obsessed w making the course unbeatable that when dream kept beating it they kept making it unnecessarily hard in the beginning when they should’ve just done that towards the end if they wanted to nerf dream n that’s what made people dislike it, not that it was ‘a bad game’