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whiterbone-a · 3 years ago

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i wanna know what your take on the nanami / gojo relationship is ?? cause a big part of me is like nanami isn't someone who really talks , like you won't get inside of him and he'll make jokes here and there with the whole work is shit thing . but i think he lost his heart and happiness alongside yuu and i think he even said this wasn't a mission first years should be on and the fact that yuu looked up to getou and gojo so much and still got killed was like a fucking blade to the stomach.

i mean do you think there is a romantic possability , i do play around with it but at the same time do you think it would be comforting ?? like i know the big ship is gojo and getou because of how close they were but what is nanami to gojo , a tool and a function or a friend and possible lover ??? and how will his death effect him ???

also were gojo actively smiles , nanami only smiles when death is around the corner and i am like red flags here and there . but sorry this got so long and please feel free to ignore it .

hello and welcome. take a seat and thank you for joining me. if this doesnt make sense just pretend u know what im talking about, its the adhd for making my thoughts so scattered everywhere

so in concept the nanami and gojou ship in a romantic concept is rly cute in concept like u have an ex - salary man whos serious doesnt allow himself the luxury of acting his age but on the other end u have someone who still acts like hes a child and never takes anything serious even when hes fighting. they both endured the trauma being a jujutsu sorcerer entails yet they have nothing in common -- gojou dresses like hes a reflection with the moon and nanami, the sun. also the fact that gojou thinks that he, himself, is ascended above all he works with while nanami is just a human living his day to day, and lot of ppl use this as nanami to bring down gojou to his morality just like a nudge or a friendly reminder. he even tolerates and puts up with him a lot more than he should. hes very patient but very honest. a lot of the fanart of them is SO CUTE esp when theyre married and living happily with one another. i even ship them, its actually one of my top ships next to satosugu but like in reality its not so great unfortunately

honestly? theres a small slim of a possibility but due to the nature of the clash of personalities and what their job its like ... not rly possible

nanami, even out of being a salary man, fully treats being a jujutsu sorcerer as a 9 - 5 job and refuses to work overtime. he has small luxuries like he enjoys reading and eating left overs after a day of working hard like who wouldnt and not to mention hes the type to keep his relationships strictly professional. gojou has probably asked him several times to take him out for drinks after work (altho work never ends with gojou which is ironic) and has said no. it’s funny now that i think about it, shouko probably asks him for an occasional drink after hours and he accepts because at least he likes shouko and he knows theres no ulterior motive from her just a couple of coworkers doing some heavy drinking but nothing ever more than that -- hes even said that he wants to get married but when hes no longer a sorcerer

sucks tho, because like everyone else, nanami sees gojou as someone who is extremely powerful and only sees him for his techniques except more like hes a nuisance and extremely annoying, even to the point of having absolutely no respect for him. he realizes, yeah hes strong but as for the full package that is satoru gojou? there’s absolutely nothing to respect about that man

and while we’re talking about gojou, i’ll say it, he’s mentally unstable. i mean, we all knew that -- hes got a couple of “screws loose” as he puts it inside that rattling brain of his. on the opposite side of the spectrum, hes not capable of handling a romantic relationship. hes always always busy, its rare that that he gets a breather for himself. hes always being sent out on missions out of country and ive always portrayed gojou as the type of partner thats not even gentle on his partners in terms of being playful, childish, and being a nuisance. his mental health is absolutely terrible (i’m not saying nanamis is any better but) hes always acted much younger than what he is altho i do blame his upbringing for that.

and gojou treats everyone as good friends but does like to particularly pick on ppl who take themselves too seriously (nanami and utahime), mei mei and yuki are exempt from this. he also doesnt rly care for ichiji but like, that doesnt matter LOL.

i do see nanami eventually giving in for one (1) after dinner ‘date’ after work but when gojou is actually less himself, hes tolerable to be around which isnt saying much tbh. you should def listen to the nanami and gojou drama audio if u can! they’re so fucking funny as a pair, which solidifies them as being cute but were not talking about that rn.

in terms of being ‘what are they’ to each other, its hard to tell. i talked about it briefly as nanami reminding him of his morality and being his humility tho gojou doesnt act like it, he fully believes hes above all and everyone, lovers and close friends are included in this. i read a lot of nana/go fanfics and they portray nanami as someone to push down his ego; to remind him hes actually Not all that great, a child in an adults body, etc. he’s a brutality honest man and gojou can take critic and criticisms to his person but that doesnt mean hes going to listen (and he doesnt, hes even self aware that his personality sucks ass but does he bother to change? absolutely not and he wont start now nor for anyone else).

yuu did definitely help nanami change and shift his ideas about the world, esp hating the jujutsu society afterwards. like, i dont blame u king, it sucks ass. tho, i dont think nanami looked up or cared for gojou and getou that much. getou he looked up to more so because at least hes as a respectable guy, strong, good looking, and stimulates intellectual conversations. gojou? not so much. nanami probably thought that it doesnt matter if u have techniques that is extremely rare to acquire and even more so to master but u suck ass and u dont stimulate joy to be around.

nanami is a good friend and high school buddy to gojou and nanami would definitely call him ‘coworker’ or something along those lines when hes annoyed him too much or doesnt want gojou to benefit too much from simple acknowledgement. gojou thinks hes an ascended being but he definitely respects and finds nanami to be a strong sorcerer and was rather surprised when he took the 9 - 5 job but it was definitely safer.

death ... ah, i think about this all the time. it’s like losing suguru all again except he didnt go rogue and kill a whole village. hes absolutely confident in nanamis abilities to fend off curses and hes too stubborn to let himself die as well, so the idea of him dying doesnt ever cross his mind. thats a true stab to the gut to hear that nanami has died, maybe a moment of truly being unhinged and a darker nature but we wont rly know until it happens in the manga, which i cant wait. i mean, at least mei mei, utahime, and shouko are around but this is nanami were talking about. if this was in terms of a romantic relationship rather than a simple seemingly one - sided friendship of enjoying of being around that person but that person just tolerating him and hoping he goes away eventually. i can’t say, i can’t say! just take these thoughts with like a grain of salt.

also that last statement in the ask, gojous smiles are fake and a mask while the rare times nanami does smile, its genuine.

regardless of what i said, i think it can be a comfy ship! this ship isnt toxic but any means (unless u make it toxic then well, thats a you thing) so just enjoy it! i know i do i think as long as u recognize that maybe neither of them being a relationship would benefit the other then go stupid go crazy, i know i will.

#jupitersnake #tldr its cute in concept but reality they just dont suit each other but #im a sucker for opposites attract so catch me all over the nana/go tag baybe!!!!!!

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gaslitbyamadman · 5 years ago

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Aphorisms On Madness, Philosophy, & Society (from my book, Gaslit By A Madman)

Aphorisms On Madness, Philosophy, & Society (from my book)

Wittgenstein on Otto Weininger.

Wittgenstein once said about Otto Weininger: “If you were to reverse all of his assertions, they would still be equally fascinating and worthwhile. ” That tends to be how I view all utterances. (If only SJWs thought like this about all utterances!) This is much closer to truth as aletheia, the Greek and Heideggerian notion, rather than strict formal, propositional veracity.

If you believe in truth, you are delusional!

.......Thus, as things became even more extreme, and relativism spread from ‘values’ to truth itself, we increasingly began to see the crazed spectacle of Professors of Psychiatry ‘scientifically’ labelling everyone who simply happens to have different beliefs from themselves as ‘sick’ and ‘delusional’i. e meaning they have a ‘fixed false belief’. while their prestigious, highly rewarded colleagues in the Humanities, Philosophy or Literary Studies department loudly proclaim there is ‘no truth, only interpretations’! No doubt somewhere or other, the two doctrines have been combined and solidified in the very same individuals such that if you still believe in ‘truth’, you are delusional, i. e you have a fixed ‘false’ belief and require urgent ‘treatment’! Pretty deranged, eh?

Truth as the best healer

Real truth saves lives; real truth works better than any pill. Especially for the honest.

On self-identity and freedom of conscience

Nowadays, if a ‘woman’ came into a psychiatrist’s office and professed to be a Champion Bull, raring to butt horns in the otherwise peaceful long-grassed meadows of her youth once more . the good Dr. would quite rightly feel obliged to continue the interview in aggressive snorts and threatening raking at the carpet, like any other modern, non-bigoted professional. But if this erstwhile proud Minator were to opine that there is no such thing as ‘schizophrenia’ or ‘mental illness’, someone’s professional opinion would be gravely offended and someone else’s dosage – that of the poor, once righteous monster -- would be judiciously and roundly quadrupled.

Excessive codes of 'civility' as cause of hateful outbreaks

Excessive codes of 'civility', which rule out certain antagonistic, strongly felt forms of speech, when such cosy 'civility' is not truly felt are one of the leadingyet most over-looked causes of hatred and violence. The reason that throughout society and on all social media websites especially there is enforced civility is because the powers-that-be were afraid of people's differences being worked out in a peaceful manner and them growing united and thus harder to control and dominate.

Psychiatry’s inversion of health and sickness.

In all discernment between healthy and pathological behaviors, the key thing to be aware of is that the nature of the former is to be a deliberate, willful action -- realizing one's 'true will' to quote Aleister Crowley -- whereas that the latter is to be picked up unconsciously or half-consciously from one's environment, sometimes with a dimly conscious but burgeoning awareness that it is vulgar, stupid or slavish. Psychiatry precisely inverts the true nature of this dichotomy, labelling healthy, i. e willful liberation as pathological, and unhealthy, slavish unthinking conformity as healthy: it is the exact opposite. "Its sickness is for its traits and the traits of its parts to be traits by which the soul does not do its actions that come about by means of the body or its parts, or does them in a more diminished manner than it ought or not as was its wont to do them. Al Farabi

Harm, punish, or 'treat'.

If you harm, punish or 'treat' an bad man, he might just re-consider his wicked ways; but if you harm, punish or 'treat' a good one, he is often liable or prone to re-consider his good ways.

The disadvantages of self-control.

The exhortation to self-control is really an exhortation to obedience and submission. (When they said I lacked 'self-control', what they actually meant was I wasn't controlling myself according to their demands. and they proceeded to take actual selfcontrol away from me) If we are really going to free ourselves of the crippling influence of convention and actually arbitrary, oppressive socalled 'authority', we probably ought to rid ourselves of all self-control that is not absolutely necessary.

Real change.

The cave-dwelling masses and everyday non-mental -patients, while all too fatuously and recklessly embracing ideologies of social 'progress', are frightened of a real change in their Being and locked into a pattern of stagnation and decay. The madman, (remember, the etymological meaning of the word 'mad' is to 'change') at least in the normative, ideal sense of that term, (as well as often he or she who is solabelled), has awakened to the need for spiritual becoming, both in himself and others.

Madness and Art.

Madmen and poets are alike: they both give freer reign to their emotional and linguistic expressions than is considered decent. And, both of them too, do it largely for socially admirable, therapeutic reasons. Albeit the 'mad' one is more often misunderstood, since people forget that all life, and the unartistic life most of all, is a good opportunity for art, for therapy.

The unartistic life is the most drab, automatic, unredeemed kind of life, in which salutary disruptions are still possible No one blinks twice if they see an eviscerated heart in an art gallery nowadays. But if they see an eviscerated heart while it is still in someone's chest. That's magic.

Autobiography of values as requisite.

To counter-act the tide of artificial, false pretenses to expert, scientific 'objectivity', and the docile, herd-like conformity that actually entails within social science, within the healing professions, and within society a whole, I propose that a personal account of one's life-story, focusing on how one came to arrive at one's central, integral values, become a standard for all such careers. This would be a move towards bolstering the development of personality and character throughout society, preventing people from hiding entirely behind their professional veneers, and presencing the real-lived experience and actual, rather than false selves, of individuals. I don't propose this merely as a helpful task for the 'professional' on the way to qualifying, but as a central piece that he must present to his or her clients/patients. A kind of C. V., but, as I say, with the focus on HOW HE CAME TO HIS CENTRAL CONVICTIONS ABOUT LIFE

‘Recreational’ drug use is medicinal drug use.

The potential of currently illegal substances such as LSD and DMT, as well as more common and less potent ones such as marajuana, to provide radical new, mad vistas of consciousness, and so heal the mental sickness with which mainstream society is so disastrously afflicted ( see the work of Terence Mckenna), is no less important than their capacity to treat physical illness or relieve physical pain. While all substances can potentially be used ill-advisedly, the depreciation of supposed ‘recreational’ uses ignores the dire and gaping need even so-called ‘normal’ people have for fresh inspiration, hedonic sustenance, and the health benefits that all true enjoyment, relaxation or true insight brings. It merely repeats the fallacious and artifical seperation between these supposedly mutually alien aspects of ourselves, a long with the superstitious, ascetic and crude utilitarian privileging of the mere functionality of ‘health’, over the supposedly wicked nature of happiness in this world --- a sad residue of religious puritanism and centuries of slavery to sadistic dogmas of control --even though it is only Epicurean pleasure that ultimately justifies life itself. This attitude is so pervasive and so perverse that it simply cannot be under-stated.Ravi Das, a neuroscientist at University College London who is researching the effects of ketamine said: “The potential benefits are definitely downplayed in face of these drugs being used recreationally,” he said. “People view their use in a research setting as ‘people are just having a good time’. ”From this vantage point, must one not wager the theory that almost the whole of modern medicine, most obviously in terms of mental illness, but even in its approach to illness as such --- including physical illness- -- as simply a form of prolonged Christian hatred-ofthe-flesh and jaw-dropping sado-masochism on a mass scale ? That is why Prof. David Nutt equated the barriers to research to the Catholic church’s censorship of Galileo’s work in 1616. “We’ve banned research on psychedelic drugs and other drugs like cannabis for 50 years,” he said. “Truly, in terms of the amount of wasted opportunity, it’s way greater than the banning of the telescope. This is a truly appalling level of censorship. ” Ignoring the importance of psycho-active drugs for promoting health is bad enough, but to ignore or denigrate the importance of pleasure to this aim, is like discounting the use of the eyes in driving to work in the morning! --.

Beyond rational self-preservation ((lock him up! He's a danger to himself.

.!)

. Enlightenment thinkers such Thomas Hobbes and John Locke tried to appeal to and foster what is called man's rational selfpreservation, inserting it above all other goals as the centrepiece and pivot of the whole of society. Notice here the two concepts, reason, on the one hand, and self-preservation, on the other, are heavily intertwined, which still remains the case today. Madness, on the other hand, is commonly associated with throwing caution to the wind, tightrope walking over a precipice just for the sheer Hell of it, and embracing a variety of dangers that may very well end in personal extinction. However, when one considers the nature of our own inevitable mortality, is making selfpreservation our highest goal really so rational? In order to face life in all its grim reality, is it not necessary, at some point or other, to eschew 'rational' self-preservation for a bold leap, (if only in the imagination, if not outward practice), towards an affirmation and embrace of this inextricable fatality? Especially if one seeks to give birth to something greater than oneself, like the Christ, and take on the grave sacrifices that sometimes requires. In other words, rather than 'rational self-preservation', isn't the ability for the‘insane self-annihilation’ of loving sacrifice equally, or an even greater sign of maturity - or of true morality? Thus also the Buddha would seem to have it, who equally, in view of the passing away of all earthly things, preached 'Loss of self' rather than the steady incremental Lockean accumulation of an estate that is eventually destined to perish anyway; he who is said, out of compassion, to have given his life up to be voluntarily devoured by a starving tiger. Reminds me of those ‘voluntary patients’ on the ward that I was on!—.

Consequences of the dehumanization of madness on the collective mind.

The villifIcation of madness and the various phenomenon which are labelled as ‘mentally ill’ in our society, such as ‘grandiose delusions’, ‘hallucinations’, ‘paranoia’, etc. , a long with all the other countless represents a form of collective repression that not only has unspeakably dire results for those so labelled, but wreaks utter havoc on the collective unconscious and the collective conscious. Rather than being the shamen, the spiritual leaders of society, such men and women are quietly tortured and cast into ignominy. Thereby, society is not only deprived of its natural guiding elite, but everyone in society is trained to feel a senseless (‘paranoid’) fear and hatred of their own deepest spiritual roots, that prevents them re-connecting with these forbidden aspects of themselves and manifesting their true potential. Take for instance ‘paranoia’. This stigmatization of questioning the benevolent motives and fundamental agendas of one’s government is one of the most cynical and blatant causes of that government getting out of control and the citizenry failing to protect their own rights and freedoms. The same applies to all the other associated phenomenon of madness, which as has been argued, represent a perenial bed-fellow and midwife of intellectual and spiritual awakening. Just as the criminalization of drugs produces an association between drug-use and general criminality that does not exist independently, re-validating society’s negative view of drug-use in its own eyes, so the category of mental illness and the inhumane, disabling treatments with which those who fall subject to it suffer, is not merely a product of but re-inforces and creates society’s negative attitude to those who manifest these various ‘mad’ phenomenon. All the while, the fact that the sacred key to everybody’s own selfrealization is so maligned and spat upon understandably produces a deep, unacknowledged sense of disconcertedness and pessimism in the population as a whole, the root cause of many other of society’s ailments and self-destructive tendencies. In truth, the real mental illness is the senseless conformity which the ‘mental health’ establishment sacralizes. This sanctified madness then, unconsciously aware of its own shortcomings, in order to sustain its own self-conception as reasonable and sane, is driven to ever more fervent quest to identity and persecute those it delusionally deems ‘mad’, for the sake of externalizing and thereby gaining some sense of control over its own deepest insecuries, and having an Other to label & stigmatize in opposition to which it can re-affirm its own false, insecure and groundless sense of Self

The question is.

why do 'sane' family members (& Dr.s & nurses) have such an enormous problem correctly even identifying their 'unwell' relatives extremely normal human needs? ~Max Lewy

#aphorisms #frederick nietzsche #madness #foucault #medicine #mental health #philosophy

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stardustandbucky · 6 years ago

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im so happy im really out here crying from happiness

this has never happened to me. i never thought i would reach a place in my life where i would feel even a fraction of what i am right now, especially not so soon.

the last year has actually been the hardest in my, admittedly still very short, life - but even now i think im not going to see one as bad as this one was any time soon.

one of the things i've learned throughout this tornado whirlwind of a year is that healing isn't easy, whatever type of healing it may be. it's glorified and romanticized a lot, and it seems all nice and dandy from the outside and when it's all done, but it's actually a very long very hard very ugly process. and im not saying that as if im an expert about the topic, i only started actively making an effort to deal with my shit and heal myself recently, mostly the last couple of months - and the start point was also one of my lower points that subbed for a wakeup call, more than anything.

none of this is pretty. or easy. and no one's there to help you through it, because they can't. this process, journey, is your own, and even if someone can help you, they shouldn't. healing is also self-discovery, and no one can understand you or discover you for you.

none of this is pretty. it's not all fine and dandy all the time, not all good moods and happy times. there's alwayd always always lows in life, and the process of healing is no exception. it is a steady rise to the top aiming for wellness, but the plummets are always there, and they can be frequent and steep. you can still feel lost some days, still unstable and confused on where you stand, on what your purpose could be. you can still be clueless and scared and freaked out. but that's fine. it's just fine because it's part of the process. some days you have a plan, other days you dont. some days your flying like a kite and living your best life, other days you're holing yourself up at home and 'wasting' your time away in bed doing absolutely nothing ignoring meals and messages/phone calls and responsibilties. (those are the 'ugly' mental health days people dont talk about on the media) it's only bad if you let yourself sink into it and be drowned by how overwhelming these kinds of days can be.

so, im at the point in my life where the above is what im going through. it's hard, and the 'getting better' part has been in effect for like, only a couple of weeks so far so - as i said - im definitely no expert. but it's starting to go good. at least i hope it is.

for 2019, and i think for the first time, i've decided that i wont delude or pressure myself with 'resolutions'. at least not the ones like 'work out more' 'eat healthier' 'go on a diet' 'socialise with at least 3 people a day' 'journal daily- a page per entry is enough' 'have x y and z done or accomplished by the end of the semester/year'. i've tried them for years, and maybe it was because of my environment, my mentality/personality, or just my lack of will or motivation overall, but none of the stuff i told myself i would do on that last day of every year ever got done - at least not to completion. and that just ruined my mentality even more because i always ended up blaming myself for not having enough discipline or for trying harder or putting in more effort. so. this year, no lists. just long term goals with no timeline, and they're not quantifiable into measurements. because numbers and achievements arent what life is for.

my goal, simply, is to make peace with myself, like myself as a whole, be a better person inside and out for myself, generally be more social, see and experience more of my surroundings and hopefully the world, strengthen my relationships with my family if possible, learn to be more expressive or open regarding things about myself. see, none of it is quantifiable, just general self-actualization basically. even grades aren't included because im not measuring my worth through them, they're only a part of my life, they're not controlling anything about it, me, or my personality, and they're only an addition to a great life, hopefully. same goes for exams, theyre not everything and i have to chill with the amount of stress and pressure i put on myself during exam periods bc i dont think it's healthy at all what i do bc they keep ending up repressed into a blur of the emotion of stress.

so, here's my speech to myself for the new year, kinda basically motivating myself after a mentally off-day that i had yesterday which was what i needed to reset myself even though i spent it in bed until spontaneous plans came up.

if you read through this whole thing and actually made it down here, thank you. i hope we all have a happy and fulfilling new year and that life generally treats us all well and that we at least try to make the best of it.

#suma talks #personal #new years post #i didnt expect this to need a read more omg #sorry it got so long #also i just watched the movie new years eve so #that could be contributing to the tears #or im just overwhelmed by how okay i feel right now #or both #anyway thanks for reading bye

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themoneybuff-blog · 6 years ago

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Exploring the Connections Between Your Social Life and Your Financial Life

This is the seventh entry in an eight part series exploring the connections between your finances and other areas of your life. A few weeks ago, I started a series exploring the connections between personal finance and the other spheres of my life. The first entry covered the connections between ones physical life and financial life, the second entry covered the connections between ones mental and spiritual life and financial life, the third entry covered the connections between ones intellectual life and financial life, the fourth entry covered the connections between ones marital life and financial life, the fifth entry covered the connections between ones parental life and financial life, the sixth entry covered the connections between ones professional life and financial life, and today were looking at ones social life and financial life. As noted in the first entry, I tend to view life as a bunch of spheres, or areas of focus. I really like Michael Hyatts list of nine such spheres: physical, mental/spiritual, intellectual, social, marital, parental, avocational (hobbies), vocational, and financial they cover much of what life is all about. Ive come to view these spheres as deeply interconnected, in that success in one sphere is usually linked in some significant ways to success in other spheres (and failures are similarly connected) and that knowing the connections can help people figure out how to succeed in both areas at once. Today, were going to look at the social sphere and how it connects to ones financial life. What Is Social Life? Social life simply refers to the time you spend with other people simply because you enjoy spending time with them and get value out of that time. It encompasses time spent with family, time spent with friends, and time spent in situations where youre getting to know people. This might seem like a common sense definition, but theres actually a lot going on here. Does social media count here? Does interacting with someone online count as actual social behavior? If so, is it weakly social? For me, digital communication with people really only counts as social if its oriented toward spending actual face to face time with that person in the future. For example, if Im looking at a Facebook picture of someone I havent seen in ten years, thats not really social, but if Im talking to someone on Twitter about a game night were going to have next week, thats definitely social. There are many deep connections between ones social life and ones financial life. Here are a few of the key ones. Not having a social life leads to negative health consequences and significant expenses. The social sphere tends to be one of the two areas of life (along with avocational) where people often let it dwindle until its almost gone, then lament the disappearance of that sphere. People are more lonely today than they have been in centuries (if not ever) and that decay of social lives has a lot of profound negative health consequences. In short, if you allow your social life to drift away because youre too engrossed in other areas of life, youll likely find at some point that youre struggling with loneliness, and persistent loneliness is very problematic for ones physical and mental health over the long term. Maintaining your social sphere inherently helps maintain your physical and mental health spheres, which in turn helps your financial life. Your social circle deeply influences your spending choices. Its often said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Im not quite sure thats true, but I do believe that our closest friends and family members have a large impact on how we view the world, what things were exposed to, and what things we think about. Thus, by extension, our social lives impact our financial lives by the spending choices were guided to (or away from) by our social influences. I personally find it very valuable to cultivate social relationships with people who encourage me to make smart spending choices. Friends who are always nudging me to spend have a profound negative impact on my financial life, whereas friends whose company I can enjoy without any spending pressure tend to have a lifting effect on my finances. Friends who are frugal by nature improve my own frugality; big spending friends nudge me toward spending too much myself. We can get trapped in a desire to spend money to impress our friends and acquaintances, often those outside of our most immediate social circle. We want to keep up with the Joneses. We want to have the burst of social cachet that comes with having the cool new thing. We want to be the nicely dressed one in the group, or at least not be the one that is talked about as being shabby. In truth, this is just the spotlight effect in action; because we think about ourselves so much, we over-assume how much others think about us. Yet, many of us find ourselves influenced by these thoughts, overinflating what others might think of us. Its good practice to stop worrying what other people think and instead behave as we would like to be treated, but thats often easier said than done. Friends can help greatly when you need to borrow something or have a major task to accomplish (like moving). Friends can be incredibly useful when you need something in a pinch. Whether its a cup of sugar, a foot in the door at a job, a truck to haul a couch, or an afternoon of help getting ready to move, friends can make all the difference and keep you from spending money on services and products (and theyll likely make the activity more interesting anyway). Naturally, this comes with some expectation of reciprocation, so it means taking on a helpful role in the lives of friends as well. Here are five low cost strategies I use for maintaining and improving my own social life. Strategy #1 Keep Room in Your Life for Social Activity As I noted earlier, it can be very easy to let our social life dwindle away in the face of all of the demands of our other spheres of life. Our health, our jobs, our marriages, our immediate family all of that stuff often takes priority over having a good social life, and so well steal time here and time there from our friends and social connections until, one day, we wake up and realize those connections have dwindled away, and were feeling lonely. Not only is loneliness a bad destination, we also miss out on a lot of fulfillment along the path to loneliness if we let our social lives be sacrificed at the altar of career and family and Netflix and smartphones. Dont let that happen. Block off time on your calendar each week for social events. Make sure youre doing at least something that involves interacting face to face with people that you dont have to interact with (meaning people outside of your professional, marital, and parental spheres). It can be anything you want it to be. It can be a dinner party. It can be a dinner out with friends. It can be a community event. It can be a meeting of a group or organization of some kind. It just needs to be something where you go there with the intent of interacting with others (or people come to you with the intent of interacting). Do this on a weekly basis at the absolute very least, and ideally more often than that. More importantly, block off time on your calendar for these things, and do that each week. Dont let these things slide by, because thats a direct road to a dwindling and disappearing social life and a bout with loneliness. If I look ahead at the next few days and dont have something social on it, Im either looking at the community calendar or Im contacting some friends so that theres something social on there. Strategy #2 Be Proactive in Terms of Meeting People While people might come to you socially by calling you up and texting you and contacting you and inviting you, you cant rely on that for social contact. Its not reliable, and many friendships will fade quickly if you rely on it due to short term scheduling difficulties, introverted natures, missed communications, and so on. If you want to have a social life, you have to be proactive in terms of meeting people (to begin the process of building new friendships) and also maintaining the friendships you have. You cant just expect people to come to you. You cant expect everyone to always have the ideas and always ask you. You cant expect people to keep asking if you have to say no with any regularity. It simply wont happen outside of maybe one or two super close friends. Theyll get the vibe that you dont want to associate with them any more and theyll fade out rather quickly. If you want to grow your social circle and your social life, those people are not going to come knocking on your door. Theyre not going to run into you on the sidewalk. You have to go out there and find them. For me, this means being involved in the community. This means putting in the work to find groups to be a part of so that I have people with at least some common interest to associate with. This means putting away my introverted tendencies and actually talking to new people, which can be hard for me. Its not easy. Its much easier to just look at my phone or read a book. Its also got a high failure rate I dont just go to one event and click with tons of people and suddenly have tons of friends. At the same time, its incredibly rewarding. I have more good friends at this point in my life than I ever have, as well as more acquaintances and people I know and who know me. Thats not a typical thing for an American male approaching middle age. How does this happen? Its simple, and it has just a few pieces to it. First of all, I go to lots of community events that seem interesting to me, and I dont go there with the intent to just stand around. I go to participate. I go to talk to people because I know that the other people there are like-minded and have at least some overlap with me (we live in roughly the same area and have at least some overlapping interests). I dive into lots of little sub-groups. Second, when I go there, I make it a point to be social. I use everything Ive learned from Dale Carnegie (heres a summary) and make a sincere effort to get to know people. If I click at all with someone, I usually find them on social media and follow up in the next day or two with something meaningful (more than just HI! REMEMBER ME!?). The vast majority of people I meet dont click deeply, and thats fine. Over time, some of those people do grow into friendly acquaintances and sometimes eventually blossom into friendships. The key is to find groups and community events youre comfortable with and enjoy. Strategy #3 Plan the Social Events and Invite People To Go One thing Ive found is that social contact sometimes fades because no one takes the initiative to plan anything. Often, this is due to a sense of misguided politeness as they feel like they dont want to push whatever idea they have on others, and sometimes its due to a sense of being overly busy and feeling overwhelmed. Quite often, people just want a clear invitation and a sense that theyre personally invited and wanted at the event. If you want to be social, be that person that starts the event. Come up with something to do and invite people to it. Make the plans, so that its just a matter of the other people showing up. Want to have a game day? Plan one, set a date, invite some people. Want to have a dinner party? Plan one, set a date, invite some people. Want to have a movie night? Plan one, set a date, invite some people. Sure, some will say no. Sure, some others might just no-show. Thats going to happen, and its usually not a slight to you. Forgive it to an extent, unless it becomes a long streak of nos or no-shows, in which case you might want to just do something with that person one on one. Dont just assume that the person doesnt want to be friends with you any more instead, assume that the person is struggling with something, because thats much more often the case, or maybe theyre just disorganized. Let them show you that the friendship is over directly if thats the direction they want to go on dont just assume that it is because the other person has some challenge in their life. You wont always have to do this well, for some friends you might because theyre apprehensive about the planning for some reason but youre almost always better off picking the thing and the time and the place and just inviting people rather than trying to get everyone to fish for ideas. Step up and be the social leader. Strategy #4 Make One-on-One Contact and Catching Up with Friends Into a Routine Over the course of every few months, I make it a goal to touch base in some direct one-on-one way with everyone in my social circle. Ill send them a one on one text just checking in on them (a Hey, how you doin? kind of thing) or Ill stop by some place where I know theyll be and have a chat with them or Ill plan on having lunch with them. My goal with these things isnt to talk about myself, but to find out how theyre doing, especially if I havent seen them lately. Are they doing okay? Whats going on in their life? Do they maybe need someone to talk to? Friendships ebb and flow all the time, but its easy for a friendship to just fade away not due to intent, but due to a natural low point in the relationship when youre both busy with other things at the moment. Maintaining that thread keeps the friendship alive and allows it to bloom again in the future, and it quite often will. As I write this, I cant help but think of several friendships in my life for which this is true. I have friends that live far away that I contact fairly regularly in a deliberate one-on-one fashion, just to see how theyre doing. I can also think of several cases where friendships that would have otherwise faded gradually grew into something deeply valuable again. I do this rather mechanically by using smartphone reminders and such. I dont want to accidentally forget about a friend and let that friendship die, so I set a reminder to keep in touch every month or every other month. My phone tells me to get in touch with Person X again and then I follow through. It works really well. Strategy #5 When a Friend or Acquaintance Needs Help, Do It (Especially If Its a Multiplier) If a friend needs help and I can reasonably give that help, I give it, no questions asked. I dont expect anything in return. Dont I feel used or unappreciated? Nope, not a bit. I choose to help. It is my choice. No one is making me do it. I would feel used if I was forced or manipulated into it, but thats a different situation entirely. What I find is that, if I use this policy, a lot of simultaneous good things happen. For starters, that friend that Im helping is almost always in a better place because of my help. Their life is better, and a rising tide lifts all boats. That friend is usually appreciative, and the friendship we have is strengthened because of it. The opportunity to help is often fun, and it usually feels good. That friend usually thinks highly of me, and that often comes up when Im not around. Again, this isnt an always thing, but its a usually thing. A friend that youve helped without any need of reciprocation is usually going to say good stuff about you when youre not there. Also, when I do need help and send out a call for it, a lot of people are willing to help me because they know Ive jumped up to help them in the past. Again, this isnt a universal thing, but if I help ten friends and then I need help, Im likely to get an offer from at least a few of them. Its worth noting that the best opportunities to help friends are what I call multipliers. Those are situations where the value of the help to your friend is many multiples of what it cost you to help. For example, spending a few hours helping your friend move boxes so they dont have to hire a moving service when they give you some pizza and a drink and you have some laughs and conversation together is a big win. Putting in a good word for a friend when theyre trying to get a job is a big win. Giving a key piece of advice regarding something you know a lot about is a big win. Those should always be given, as it lifts your friends boat quite high with little effort from you. Final Thoughts Your social life is a valuable part of your personal happiness, as well as a key support for your physical and mental health. It has many connections to your financial life as well. Thus, supporting your social life is incredibly important. The big ingredients in a healthy social life are time and attention. Set aside some time and some attention for your social relationships and youll find that youre paid back with far more value that you ever would have expected. Good luck! https://www.thesimpledollar.com/exploring-the-connections-between-your-social-life-and-your-financial-life/

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Hyrum Utah Cheap car insurance quotes zip 84319

"Hyrum Utah Cheap car insurance quotes zip 84319

Hyrum Utah Cheap car insurance quotes zip 84319

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Hyrum Utah Cheap car insurance quotes zip 84319

How to change auto insurance?

I pay my auto insurance every 6 months. I want to change insurance company from 'company A' to 'company B' because it's cheaper. I already paid a bill for company A and still have about 4 months until renewal. If I change to company B now, will I get a refund from company A? How does this work? I don't want to wait another 4 months with company A.""

Car Insurance how many cars?!?

Can you have 2 cars insured under 1 insurance company? like my ex wants to put his car in my name & insure it (as it would be cheaper) but i have my own car that i already insure but i'll be changing my insurance company come january so how should i do it? me go ahaead & change my insurance in jan with the nxt car i get & let him insure under my name etc with the same company or do another company with his cat? what do you reckon?!! thanks!

Will my dad's car insurance go up if I get my license?

I'm 19 and want to get my license without getting my dad's car insurance going up.

Why buy life insurance if you are young?

What is the benefit of buying life insurance if you are young and not married and have no kids?

How much would insurance be for a BMW 3 series from 2001 with 150k miles?

My dad said he'd buy me a BMW if the insurance isn't considerably higher than my brothers, who drives a 2004 VW Golf. I'm a 16 year old male and will probably be driving within a year but I want to know whether the insurance would be considerably higher than a golf. We live in Dallas TX Thank You""

""Car Insurance..if i go out of state, but my parents pay for the car insurance and i live in another state...?""

What i meant to say was..if i have a car, it is in my parent's name, and i move out of state, is it possible to still be covered by the insurance even if it isnt from the state it is being payed for in? or do i have to get insurance and the car changed to my name in another state? i hope someone understads. thank you for you time in reading this :) 10 points to the best answers! or lets say Correct answer!""

Cheapest women car insurance on a provisional?

im 23. got my own car, white, k reg, clio, automatic (1993) im only on a provisional license an ive found so far that my quotes r not very good. my highest as been 2027.57 an my lowest is 678.98 will i get anything lower. i know its cos of my age an cos im the main driver but if any women or men know any insurance companys that ave good lower prices then help me out thanks u never know wot ur get in return lol""

Cheap car insurance for a young driver on a VW Golf?

Where would be able to find the cheapest insurance for my Golf 1.6. I'm 17 years old and I'm going to be a named driver on my dads name (him being the main). The cheapest I can find is 2000. If anyone could find me a good website to find an insurance quote cheaper than that; it would be fantastic! Thanks in anticipation

Student Health insurance?

I have a friend who just turned 18 and no longer qualifies for Badger care (state insurance). Her mother is jobless and her father is out of the picture. She has a part time job but it does not provide insurance. She is still in High school and needs some sort of coverage. Does anyone know of an affordable health insurance plan for students?

Cheapest auto insurance rate in NJ ??? I have a perfect driving record....?

I just moved from Boston and don't know what companies are the cheapest ??? Any suggestions ??

What should I do regarding my auto insurance situation?

I hit my dad's expedition with my Dodge Ram and caused about 1500 dollars in damage to my Ram, as estimated for parts and labor by a collision center, I hit the expedition's hitch which caused damage to me but barely a few scratches on the expedition. The expedition doesn't run, and is not even registered or insured. My dad is aware of the situation and has no interest in fixing his car and will not report me to the insurance or police. We have and still are on good terms. I have liability insurance, so it will not cover damage to my vehicle. My insurance policy expires in two weeks. What if I update my insurance with collision and comprehensive coverage that will cover my vehicle. Then I report that I hit an object and have them pay for it. Would this be cheaper in the short and/or long run than paying to fix out of pocket? Is such action above illegal, unethical, and/or against policy? I live in California and have Progressive insurance.""

Average car insurance for me?

Im a guy. Senior in high school. I don't have a 3.0+ gpa to reduce insurance. I'm prolly gonna drive a 96 blazer or 97 jeep grand Cherokee. Roughly, how much would my insurance be?""

What is the cheapest auto insurance for undr 25's in Texas?

Please provide me with the web address if possible.

Farmers insurance song?

What's the song from that farmers insurance commercial were there doing the driving simulation with distractions?

Why is guico car insurance cheaper than allstate?

Can car insurance companies pull your insurance without notifying you?

My girlfriend is at university and just seen that her car insurance has paid a sum of money back into her bank account and after checking the dvla website it currently says her car in not insured! Can an insurance company pull the insurance without notifying her of why its been done and when it was done as the policy was taken out about a month go. Where does she stand legally too? many thanks for your help D.

How much is audi a4 insurance?

i am 18 years old looking at buying a 2003 audi a4 and wanted to know how much the insurance would cost me. I have a clean driving record and good grades.

Online insurance quotes?

I've been surfing the web for insurace quotes. I am a first time car buyer and I am only 16. I want to find a site that can give me a very basic quote, like an area I can be confident in. I DONT want to have to enter my email, phone number or anything else of that matter. Just quick, simple and, well, general. Best site to meet my private requirements? Thanks""

""If u wrote-off a $5000 car, on average how much would ur insurance company give you back?""

If u wrote-off a $5000 car, on average how much would ur insurance company give you back?""

Is this true about car insurance?

I know that when you're 25, your car insurance is usually lowered. Today someone told me if you're under 25 but over 18 and have a child, your insurance is the same as someone over 25. Is that true?""

Jeep Wrangler Sahara insurance?

I am a 16 year old female... I want a 2004 Jeep Wrangler 4x4 Sahara as my first car. My mom seems to think the insurance is too high. Can anyone tell me whether the insurance on it would be super high or give me an average number for insurance? Would it be cheaper on a smaller car? thanks .xx

Where do I get low rate insurance in Toronto?

I am 56 and clean driver. My daughter is 25 and new driver.Which company can give me a better low rate insurance in Toronto?

""2011 Subaru Impreza WRX STI, [price help]?""

I am looking to purchase a 2011 STI sometimes EARLY july. There are few USED ones in my area, but the price is not much different, becuase low miles NEW 2011 STI limited, MSRP about 37,999 Used--- that i am looking at, with 4,000 miles is 36,950 I was wondering if it is even worth it to buy it used vs new, and if i did buy it used how far can i get the price down, since it is only like 5 months old. And if anyone has any tips about down payments, I.e how much to put down ETC ---Im 19 years old, have a good paying job for my age, my dad is going to co sign. If you have any advice that is un related, please share Also, my heart is set on this car, nothning else""

What all does someone under 18 need to get car insurance?

I'm under 18 years old and I need to get car insurance but I dont know if I can get it on my own. My parents do not want to put me on there insurance and I don't know if I can get it by myself. I also heard that they have to co sign for insurance? If that's true will them co signing for my insurance affect there car insurance what so ever? They think that there insurance would go up if they co signed for me but I don't think that's true. Some one please help!

How Much Would A 17 Year Old With A G2 Pay For Insurance For A 1995 Geo Metro Hatchback in Toronto?

Im planning on getting my first car but the insurance is holding me back. Please Help.What Company do you suggest? Maybe you know someone with the same car and around the same age.

Hyrum Utah Cheap car insurance quotes zip 84319

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