#<- literally just tagging that for consistency

[antithetical-bolter]

Out Of The Woods (3)

Hi besties!! I am overwhelmed in the best way by everyone's kind words and interest in this story. If I had to guess i would say it'll be between 7 and 10 chapters in total, but it's not outlined so we'll see what my lil brain cooks up. There's some more Robby POV in this one bc I felt like it was important to get a little look into his sweet but messed up head, pls tell me if you hate it or if it's unrealistic lmao

5.0k words | Pregnancy continues to wreak havoc on Iris's digestive system. Robby goes to therapy and begins the groveling process.

warnings: nausea, throwing up, unplanned pregnancy, excessive use of the word fuck, commas, and em dashes.

Prev | Next

Masterlist

page dividers by @cafekitsune

tag list: @snowflames-world @antisocialfiore @eviemonroeer @princessjayll @sizzlingkryptonitetale @two-bitkit @dizzybee03 @knifetotheback @nerdgirljen @legolas-the-homeschooled-elf @tradingtruthsforlies @robbyrosierobinavitch

(if you'd like to be added just lmk in the comments!)

Chapter 3

Iris

Rest is far harder to accomplish than I’d like it to be. Dana checks in on me a few times, and while I haven’t lost what little sustenance I’ve been able to keep down I am still nauseated as fuck. Sleep teases me with three minute stretches, consistently interrupted by nausea and full body sweats. Samira comes in around four and tells me she’s been tasked with seeing if I can tolerate any PO intake, and while I'm not thrilled about the idea I know it’s necessary. The crackers she’s holding up in front of me sounds lovely to my brain and seriously awful to my stomach. A small bite is all I can convince myself to take - and when I immediately start to dry heave we table the problem for the time being. 

“Dana and I think you should go home.” Samira tells me as she rubs slow circles on my back. That makes three of us, I swear I can hear my bathroom floor calling my name.

“Yeah I’d love that, but I’m not taking public transport like this and I’m not taking your car either.” The silence expands as she chews on her words before filling me in on whatever plan she and Dana seem to have hatched while I wasted away up here. 

“Uh, about that. We have a solution but I’m not sure you’re gonna like it.” She waits to see if I’m going to interject, but I really don’t have the energy right now so I just brace for whatever she’s about to suggest to me. “Jack will be here any minute to send Robby home so he can go to his appointment, he could very easily drop you off on his way there.” She’s right, I really don’t like that idea. But this bed is fucking uncomfortable and all I want is to be able to be miserable in my own space. 

“If that’s my only feasible option then I guess that’s fine, but he’s gonna have to pick me up out front. No way I trek through the ED like this.” It’s bad enough that I have to leave early at all - I’m not adding any fuel to the gossip fires that are bound to be raging on the floor below us. 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine with that. He’s been on our case about where you are the last few hours, he’s suspicious and definitely freaking out a little bit so I’m pretty sure you could get him to do literally anything you wanted.” God, if fucking only.

“That’s a reeaallly long list, Samira. But we’ll start with picking me up out front and getting some therapy and go from there.” Her phone is already out and I don’t have to look to know she’s texting Dana. We sit in silence for a few minutes, me focusing on remaining upright and Samira texting her co-conspirator back and forth. My eyes are just starting to droop, my head leaning on her shoulder when the door opens again. I expect it to be Dana with my stuff, but it’s Robby. My backpack is slung on the shoulder opposite his own pack and he looks like he ran up here - is breathing like he sprinted up the stairs. The words he’s trying to spit out sound suspiciously like ‘are you okay’ and ‘I’ve been worried about you’ and I just really do not have the emotional bandwidth for that right now, so my sense of self preservation kicks in and I interrupt his half formed statements of concern.

“Alright let’s get this show on the road, I miss my bed.” My legs are a little shaky underneath me as I stand and orient myself to being vertical again but I don’t feel nearly as faint as I did earlier. 

“Yeah, uhm yeah the car’s already out front so I’m ready when you are.” Robby stammers out as he comes to stand beside me, apparently not trusting my legs as much as I do. Not unfair but I’m still a little annoyed about it. I turn to face Samira, intending to thank her for all of her help but she beats me to the punch.

“I’ll swing by and check on you after I get off tonight, okay? I’ll just let myself in and come up so you don’t have to move.” 

“Sounds good, thanks Samira.” I turn towards Robby as I continue talking, now addressing him. “Let’s get a move on before I puke in your car.” He nods furiously in agreement, and pulls out a few fresh emesis bags from his pocket and hands them to me. Honestly great forethought from him, a simple solution but one that is definitely beyond my own brain's capabilities right now. 

We take one elevator and then walk about fifty steps out to the suburban, and it exhausts me. I don’t fight Robby as he puts a hand on my right hip and helps me get up into the car and then reaches around me to buckle my seatbelt. To my immense surprise and even greater relief, I’m dozing before the car starts to move. 

I wake up again to Robby opening up my car door, gently coaxing me back into the land of the living. That less than fifteen minute drive was the longest uninterrupted sleep I’ve gotten all day and it was nowhere near enough.

“Hey, honey, we’re at yours. Your bed awaits.” Fuck if that’s not the best thing I’ve heard all day. I accept his offered hand as I slide onto the ground and turn to walk inside. I make it as far as the porch, punching in my door code, so damn close to safety before I lose what little I’ve kept down this afternoon. Robby is quick with the emesis bag and he holds my hair back as puke. 

I manage to choke out “I need to sit down,” before I attempt to ease myself to the floor. Attempt being the keyword, because really Robby catches me and brings me down to sit against him as I catch my breath. I always cry when I throw up, but I’m crying for more than that right now. “This is fucking awful, god dammit.” He takes the used bag from my hands, twists it closed and sets it to the side before pulling a package of wipes seemingly out of thin air and wiping my face for me. “Thanks.” I croak out, feeling like speaking is far more effort than it’s worth. 

“Maybe I should stay…” He starts to speak, but no way am I letting him miss his therapy appointment for this. Absolutely the fuck not - I’d like for him to continue to take care of me like this but that isn’t happening unless he goes to fucking therapy. 

“No, Robby. Help me upstairs and make sure I’m settled and then go to your appointment. Seriously - I will be okay for a bit. It’s already almost five and Samira will be here when she’s off and I promise I’ll sleep in the recovery position. No aspiration risk here.” I sleep on my side naturally, which has really been working in my favor the last few weeks. And honestly if I continue to puke I won’t be sleeping anyway so really it won’t matter. 

Apparently I’ve managed to make my voice strong enough to get my point across because he doesn’t argue with me. Just quietly agrees before adjusting so that he’s holding me around the shoulders and under my knees and moves to a standing position. If I wasn’t still quite sick and trying to enforce boundaries with him I would let myself acknowledge that it’s pretty fucking hot that he can move so well while holding me like this - but I am trying to enforce boundaries with him so that thought gets quickly filed away for later use. 

Once we make it up the stairs and into my room, he sets me down near the edge of the bed and prompts me to sit down. 

“Pick out your pajamas and get changed, I’m gonna go get your bag and make sure you have everything you need up here.” He observes me just long enough to confirm I won’t be passing out on him before he heads back downstairs. 

I feel a little better after slipping on my favorite Noah Kahan concert t-shirt and comfy sleeping underwear, enough so that I’m able to stand at the sink long enough to brush my teeth and quickly wash my face. 

As I open the door to my bathroom and slowly make my way back to my bed, I take in what he’s brought up for me. A whole pile of emesis bags, a garbage bag for any used ones, tissues, mouthwash (where did he get that??), my water bottle and a bottle of glacier cherry gatorade. He has the covers pulled back and ready for me, and I not-so-gracefully flop onto my pillows. Robby pulls the covers up around my shoulders and kneels down next to the bed. 

“Alright I’ve gotta go if I’m gonna make my 5:15 appointment time. I know Samira will be here after shift change but would it be okay with you if I drop in on you on my way home? Would be around 6:30 or so.” 

“Uhh yeah sure, I guess. But I won’t be getting up. The door code is 474713. If I’m sleeping, don’t wake me up. I’ll be pissed about it.” He laughs a little bit at that, and I’m glad I’m feeling well enough to joke a little bit. A good sign, all things considered. 

“Yeah, of course. I’ll be quiet. I’ll leave my phone on silent during the appointment but if anything comes up call three times an-“

”It’ll override the do not disturb, I know how it works. If for some reason I need someone here that badly I will call three times but I doubt I’ll need to. Go, you’re gonna be late if you stay much longer.” 

“I know, I’m going. If you come up with anything you need between now and me coming back just text me, I can stop at the store for you.” 

“I will. Thanks, Robby. Now seriously - go. I’m not fucking around about this and being late to your establishing appointment isn’t a great way to start out.” He sighs and nods his head like he’s resigned himself to his fate. His left hand lands on the edge of my bed as he pushes himself to a standing position, running the other over my hair before he turns to leave. 

Sleep gives me a measly thirty second taste of relief while he’s gone. It’s the opposite of restful and I’m once again on the verge of tears - this time from exhaustion. 

At 6:15 on the dot my phone starts to buzz. 

Robby (6:15pm)

Walking out now, you awake? Need anything?”

Iris (6:16pm)

against my will, but yeah I’m awake nothing off the top of my head

Robby (6:17pm)

Alright, I’ll be there soon. Just gotta make one stop on my way. 

I thumbs up his text and close my eyes, trying my damndest to fall into a real sleep. It does not happen and by the time I hear my front door open I have unwillingly started crying. Again. I swear - this kid is going to make me emotionally unstable before they even get here. Robby finds me sitting on the edge of my bed, water in hand, sobbing like someone just died. 

“Hey, hey, Iris, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” The bed dips as he sits down next to me and puts an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. 

“I’m, i-“ I pause to take a deep breath, but all I can manage is a gasp, “I’m just so fucking tired, but I can’t sleep and I feel like I’m going insane.” A few more sobs before I get the rest of it out. “Everytime I lay down my stomach gets upset again but I can’t get comfy sitting up and all I want is some fucking sleep!” The last part comes out as more of a yell than I intend it to, but Robby takes it in stride.

”That sucks, I’m sorry. Wish I could fix it for you.” My shoulders shrug, and I’m a little disappointed in myself as I realize that him being here is making me calmer. Especially as I recall that the only actual sleep I’ve gotten today was in his car. Fucking pregnancy hormones, making me all soft for the man responsible for said hormones. ”I can’t fix it, but maybe we move down to the couch for a bit? We can sit up and I can rub your back and if you fall asleep on me then I’ll just let you sleep?” Yes, please.

“You don’t have to do that, I’m sure you’re tired and ready to go home.” And maybe if he leaves I’ll feel a little less like he’s the only thing keeping me stable.

”Nah, I’m at least half the reason that you’re feeling like this anyway so the least I can do is stick around and suffer with you if it comes to that.” Or maybe it’s okay that he’s keeping me stable - he is partially responsible for my current state of being, afterall. 

“Well when you put it like that… Just let me splash some water on my face and I’ll be down.” And take a few minutes to reign it in - it’s nice that he’s here and showing up but I don’t want to get my hopes up too high. 

“Do you want to try and eat? It’s been long enough since your last zofran that you could have another if you wanted.”

“Yeah I should probably try, there’s some of my favorite ramen in the pantry and it’s usually pretty tummy-friendly so I’ll give that a go I guess.” 

“I’ll go get it started while you make your way downstairs. Take your time, okay?” I take a fortifying breath and nod against his shoulder before pushing myself into a standing position and walking to my bathroom. Robby stays in the room long enough to make sure I’m steady on my feet, and once I close the door I hear him walking down the stairs and rummaging around in the kitchen. While sitting down to pee I quickly fire off a text to Samira, letting her know that Robby is here and that she can skip the check in visit tonight. She doesn’t respond, likely busy being a doctor and all that, but I know that I’ll be getting the fifth degree from both her and Dana the next time I see them. Five minutes later, bladder freshly emptied and face washed of tears, I slowly make my way downstairs. I expect to see Robby in my kitchen, but I don’t expect to see the massive bouquet sitting on my counter. It’s so big that I have to walk around it in order to make eye contact with him. 

“Uh, wow. What are these for?” I can hazard a guess, but I’d like to hear him say it. So much for reigning it in. 

”Well I realized that I never actually told you that I’m pretty fucking thrilled about you having my baby, so these are ‘I’m sorry, I’m a fucking idiot and also thank you for giving me the best gift anyone has ever given me’ flowers.” That gets a real laugh out of me, and all of a sudden I’m feeling a lot better. No less exhausted but a little hit of joy gives me a second wind. 

“Wow, that’s a pretty loaded bunch of flowers. They’re beautiful, thank you. I tentatively accept your apology.” A visible wave of relief washes over his face as I finish speaking, and it has me feeling pretty damn hopeful. ”And for the record, I’m excited too. Scared out of my fucking mind, but in a good way I think?” He nods and laughs lightly, reaching out to pull me in for a hug with one arm as he stirs my ramen with the other. I go willingly, folding myself into his side. We both take steadying deep breaths - me because I’m exhausted and my emotions have run quite the gambit the last few hours. I can’t speak to why he needs a few deep inhales before speaking, but I can only guess that he’s remembering the last time we hugged and how it ended with me kicking him out and sobbing on the floor of my entryway. 

“I’m glad to hear that.” He pulls me in just a little tighter, his arm lightly running up and down my side. 

“In a day or two we can talk some more, but tonight is not the night for me to have any heavy conversations if that’s okay with you. Maybe we just put on a movie and eat and then hope I fall asleep?” I want to hear about therapy, as much as he’ll tell me, but I fear if we try to talk tonight that I will either be a bitch or just cry and neither of those are things I want to do. Healthy emotional regulation or whatever.

“Sounds perfect. Go get set up on the couch, I'll bring your meds and food over to ya in just a sec.” I step out of his hold as he moves to grab two bowls for the soup, and as I watch him get everything together for me it’s impossible to squash that hopeful, romantic voice currently making itself known in my head.

Robby

Iris finishes and keeps down the ramen, much to my relief. It’s not uncommon to lose a little weight in the first trimester but it still hurts me to see her feel so terrible. While we eat I turn on her TV and ask what she’d like to have on, but she just shrugs. I make an executive decision and put on Parks and Rec, knowing it’s one of her favorites. This seems to be the right choice as it earns me the biggest, most genuine smile she’s given me in months. 

Once she finishes eating I take our dirty dishes and load them into her dishwasher alongside the pot I used to cook. As insurance I grab a few emesis bags and put them within arms reach, though I hope she won’t need them. I’m not sure how much cuddling she’d like to do - I did offer to rub her back while she tries to fall asleep but I don’t want to force her into physical contact if that’s not what she wants. She decides for me, patting the cushion right next to her on the couch. Her legs are extended onto the L shaped portion, so I sit in the middle right next to her. Immediately after I sit down, she leans into me. That seems like invitation enough so I put my right arm around her shoulders and pull her close, resisting the urge to lay a kiss on her hair. I honestly was not sure if she’d ever want to be close to me like this again so I just enjoy the feeling of her pressed against me. 

Therapy this evening was just as hard as I expected it to be. Carson, the guy Jack referred me to, seems competent. While I did not enjoy it I can see the benefits and will make an honest to god effort to give it the time it deserves. Seeing how badly my actions hurt Iris fucking gutted me so if this is the solution for making sure I never cause her to feel like that again then I will show up and participate. 

It’s been hard for me not to draw parallels between Iris and Heather, and it’s not lost on me that had she decided to terminate the two situations would be even more similar. As I’ve gotten older, I just assumed that kids were not in the cards for me. Jake and I are on better terms but still slightly rocky ground - and after Heather filled me in on the day of Pitt Fest I figured my fate was all but sealed. Iris has been the biggest surprise and blessing, and now that there’s a kid on the way I feel like the luckiest guy on the whole fucking planet. 

She caught me off guard, we’ve always been friendly but our shifts have never overlapped all that much due to her having been on nights the past few years. A schedule change right after Pitt Fest last year brought her to days full time and we became fast friends. I’d had a little crush on her for the months leading up to Jesse’s birthday party - but seeing her walk in the door wearing the cutest fucking dress, her hair down and laughing made me realise that my feelings were stronger than I thought. Two drinks gave me the courage to flirt with her, and she seemed to be feeling it as well so going home with her felt natural. 

I spent a lot of my session tonight talking about how much I regret leaving that morning, and while I know it’s because I’m afraid Carson made me dig into it a little bit. Being scared is not a feeling I can fix overnight, but I can change my actions. It seems so fucking obvious to me now - but showing up scared is half the fucking battle. So, here I am. Showing up fucking terrified. Scared that she’ll never want to be in a relationship and that co-parents is all we’ll ever be, scared because I'm definitely in love with this woman, scared that these feelings seemed to appear out of nowhere and hit me like a mac truck. 

When she’s ready to talk, I’ll tell her whatever she wants to know. But for now, if all she wants is for me to hold her and cook for her, then that’s what I’ll do. Happily and to the best of my ability. 

Her voice pulls me out of my head and back into the room.

“Thanks for cooking for me tonight, it’s nice to have you here.” The blush that I feel heating my face is entirely out of my control and I’m glad she’s facing the TV.

“No need to thank me, if anything I should be thanking you for letting me be here.” She doesn’t respond verbally, just snuggles in a little closer and I swear I feel my heart bursting at the seams. “You comfy like this?” 

“Eh kinda, maybe you scoot this way so we can at least kinda be at an angle? I’ve never been able to sleep fully sitting up.” I follow her instructions, moving so that I'm fully on the same cushion as her and no longer sitting up completely straight. My legs join hers on the L-shaped extension of the couch and she rearranges so her top half is molded to my side and her legs are tangled in with mine. Sleeping upright is historically not great for my neck, but I will happily endure a little bit of soreness if it means getting to have her draped over me all night. 

The next episode of our show plays as she settles in and I toss a blanket over us, and she tells me it’s one of her favorites from the series. Something about the flu and Ann being her nurse spirit animal.  Despite that, she falls asleep before the episode is even halfway over. I stay awake a while longer, making it through three more episodes before I decide she’s asleep enough for me to rest as well. If she wakes up feeling sick it will inevitably wake me but it seems like she’s going to be able to continue to catch up on some much needed sleep. I let myself lay a gentle kiss on the top of her head as I silently thank my lucky stars that I have somehow earned her trust enough to be here. 

Iris

Fuck, it’s hot in here. My place tends to run cold (because I keep the thermostat at 66 year round) but I am currently sweating like a dog. I peel my eyes open, unwillingly bringing myself back into consciousness. It becomes immediately obvious why it’s so hot in here. Robby is already awake, and I can feel his arm running over my back in very light touches. My head is resting on the junction of his shoulder and neck, and I’m all but on top of him. One of my legs is bracketed between both of his and I can feel the heat seeping out of his hands and into my back. I’m not sure how long I slept, but it’s still dark out so it can’t have been that long. 

“What time is it?” I ask him after clearing my throat a few times, sitting forward a bit so I can look at him.

“Uhh, just about 2am I think.” 

“Shit, I’m sorry for nap trapping you here for so long, I'm okay now if you wanna go home and sleep in your own bed.” His expression shifts from tired and affection to looking at me like I’ve lost it. 

“There’s literally nowhere else I'd rather be. You’re gonna have to pry me off this couch with a crowbar if you want me to go. And besides, seems like good practice for being nap-trapped when our little one shows up.” A sleepy laugh tumbles out of me and he leans over to kiss the top of my head. Between that and him saying ‘our little one’ I’m about to melt into the couch - and not because he’s a human heated blanket.

“I’m so glad to hear that but I really need to pee…” He immediately lets go and shifts to help me up, making sure I’m stable on my feet and pointing me in the direction of my downstairs bathroom. While I’m sitting down, I check my phone to see if Samira texted me back. 

Samira (7:47pm) Omg what!! Okay I will go home but call me if you need me. Also expect to give me all the details soon

Iris (2:17am)

He came back after therapy and cooked for me, we fell asleep on the couch and I begrudgingly admit it’s the best sleep i’ve gotten in weeks And he got me the biggest bouquet i’ve literally ever seen

I slip my phone back into my pocket and wash my hands before going back out into the living room. Robby is up and moving, having found two glasses and filled them both with water. He is just finishing his as I come out, and he heads to use the bathroom himself. I drink my water slowly, not wanting to risk waking the beast that is my ever present nausea. A little bit of a rumble occurs just as I finish my first sip but seems to stay at bay after that, so I walk to my pantry and grab a packet of saltines to nibble on. 

Robby exits the bathroom to find me eating a cracker with so much caution it’s almost laughable. 

“If that stays down, want something more substantial?” I do, I’m actually fucking starving, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. 

“Yeah but I’ll let you know, don’t wanna rush it.” He gives me a thumbs up and he refills his water glass and comes to stand beside me. We exist in companionable silence while I work on my cracker and I can tell he’s trying not to stare at me. “What? I can feel you looking at me.”

“Nothing, uh, I’m just really glad you’re feeling better.” I stay silent, knowing that’s not all he has to say but letting him take his time getting it out. “Andyoulookreallygoodinthatshirt” comes racing out of his mouth and it takes me a few seconds to process what he says. Once I do, I lean up and kiss his cheek. He turns tomato red and it’s endearing as fuck. 

“Thanks, glad you’re a fan.” I tell him before taking the last bite of my saltine. 

“Most definitely a fan.” The t-shirt with just boyshort underwear definitely was not meant to impress him but it’s a nice confidence boost that he’s clearly still attracted to me even after having to hold my hair while I puked. 

“Seems like my stomach is going to cooperate for now, and I'm feeling kinda hungry.” “Yeah? That’s great. What do you want?” I mull over his question for a bit before landing on an answer. 

“Meh I could go for some more ramen, I don’t really have a lot in the house since I’ve been feeling so shitty the last few weeks. And I don’t wanna ask you to cook for me in the middle of the night.” My parents were solidly in the ingredients household camp, and old habits must die hard because the only things in my pantry and fridge require cooking. 

“We both just got 6 plus hours of sleep, I’m gonna be up for a bit anyways. What do you want to eat? I really don’t mind cooking.” I’m very glad to hear him say that, I probably would’ve ended up cooking for myself anyway because apparently my cravings have decided to make themselves known now that the nausea was less in the forefront. And I lowkey hate cooking. Baking? Great. Baking is chemistry - an exact science. Cooking? Based on vibes and estimates? Not my forte. 

“Some pasta, I have some alfredo sauce and parmesan. Oh, and some bread! And maybe some pickles.” He smiles and chuckles at my enthusiasm, leaning in to kiss the top of my head.

“I can do that. You go sit, I’ll bring it to you.” He’s looking at me like I’ve never seen before, all soft and fondly. Like he actually wants to be here, cooking for me, far past midnight the night after a shift. I’m inclined to believe him. 

[antivan-sprig]

Your OC in the Ballroom

Clothing

What’s your OC’s go-to aesthetic for a ball? Is it consistent or varied? What’s their goal behind this? are they just trying to fit in, to distract, to mislead?

Lise is going to wear whatever Teia picks out for her, which is usually something flowy, ethereal, and modest. Shes not supposed to look like a Crow at all, since her shtick is playing innocent and naive until she can (literally) stab you in the back.

She doesn’t have an alternative choice for what she would pick for herself because, if she had the choice, she’d simply not go. Although if she absolutely had to, she’d pick any of these just to see the look on Viago’s face. He calls her a fool a lot, so why not embrace it?

Lise to Viago before every dance ^ (spoiler it’s Illario)

Location

Where are you most likely to find your OC during a ball? Balcony? Bar? Spying behind privacy screens?

She’s on the outdoor terrace getting some fresh air, she finds the whole ordeal of these events exhausting and when she hides up here it’s less likely she’ll be told to perform or asked to dance by someone who isn’t Neve (or Manfred)

(Unless it’s a pre-VG ball, then you’d probably find her sneaking off to cozy up to a certain traitorous cousin)

Dancing

What’s their opinion on dancing? Do they have a favorite type of dance?

Lisel quite honestly hates partner dancing. When dancing solo, she messes up her steps all the time but is really skilled at making this go unnoticed. That’s a lot harder to do when you’re dancing with someone, especially someone you don’t know well.

With this in mind I think she’d be a waltz girlie, since waltzes are easy to keep time with and predictable.

While more of a performance setting rather than a ballroom dance one, I totally HC that Lucanis gets really good at predicting when and how Lis will mess up, so he might be one of the few people who Lis doesn’t mind partnering with.

Spite on the other hand would absolutely be calling her out: “SHE DID PAS DE BOURRÉE! SHES SUPPOSED TO PAS COURU! WRONG WRONG WRONG!”

Hopefully this is interesting to some of y’all! I’m obsessed with ballroom stuff in media so I personally will eat anything you say about your OCs up.

Tagging: @curiouswisp @nevarrantorte @lunammoon @pandorazlost @eli-serpin @a-mumbling-nerd @jupi-tercreates @larknnightingale @vishantikaffar @randomness-in-motion @josiesruffles @cursed-candlehop @seaglassmelody @mythals-whore @gingervitus @akuma-misery @alystrin03 @bubblingooze @dragonsglore @clodicious @mothergootz @zennihilation @therivercrow @pixiedurango @bubblecat-co (Your most recent fic may or may not have inspired this)

I could truly tag so many more folks, but I’ll leave it at this! Any obviously anyone else interested is more than welcome to make their own!

[horsegirlrehab]

guys i think theres somethign wrong with my brain

monochrome and wips beneath readmore for funsies

[naphelion]

soulmates

[royalarchivist]

In case you missed it, Jaiden just uploaded a new video! Congrats to her for 10 years of beautiful, funny, and heartfelt storytime animations!

[1doesnotsimplyhavejust1fandam]

We as a fandom do not talk about Buck’s whole “agonizing over not telling Eddie he’s bisexual” crisis enough. He felt like he was lying to Eddie because he didn’t tell him something new he’d discovered about himself! Tommy dismissing him for not being able to tell Eddie he’s bi yet certainly contributed to Buck’s panic about it, but the whole “lying to my best friend” part came entirely from Buck himself. And he goes to Maddie about his crisis because his big sister has always had good advice for him, and he trusts her with his relationship with Eddie. This tells us two things:

1. For some reason, Buck was worked up about not yet having told Eddie, specifically, that he is bisexual. He goes to Maddie and omits half the truth from her, even though it could help him figure out why he’s so anxious about hiding the truth from Eddie. But he doesn’t panic about his sister either finding out he’s bisexual, or attempting to hide it from her until the pronoun slip. His panic is clearly and explicitly devoted to the thought of lying to his best friend. Not even his sister, who has known and loved him his whole life, was like his mother for much of their childhoods, and was his greatest and sole champion for most of his life, elicits such panic from Buck. He’s nervous about telling Eddie, but everyone else in his life, he comes out to essentially with ease at the Madney wedding.

Now, for some people, this might make it seem like Buck is aware, even subconsciously of his feelings for Eddie, but I’m not sure I agree. And that is because of the second thing:

2. Buck is 100% incapable of not telling Eddie everything about himself and/or his life. Time and again, we have seen Buck using Eddie as a confidant, a safe space, and a comfort for himself when he’s in crisis or feeling particularly reflective. We see this in the og kitchen scene, when Buck, with a rather shaky segue, apologizes again to Eddie for abandoning the Diazes during the lawsuit, in a scene that feels like Buck’s been holding his words in and they’ve suddenly forced their way out to be heard by Eddie. We see it when Buck tells Eddie all about the first dinner with the Buckley parents, notably, the only on-screen conversation Buck has about the dinner and Buck’s feelings about it before the dinner is immediately overshadowed by the Daniel of it all. It’s all directed towards Eddie. And then we got Buck coming over to Eddie’s house after the lightning strike, asking for space from questions and concerns, and then later opening up about how conflicted and confused he feels after dying for three minutes (and seventeen seconds). And yes, even Buck eventually coming out to Eddie, the only scene where Buck is shown to be 100% intentionally coming out (yes, this is me admitting that I’m still iffy on the soot being on purpose or just an accident that Buck was fine with using to come out to everyone else he loves).

All of this to say, Buck cannot be aware or even subconsciously suspicious that he is in love with Eddie. Yet. This is a guy that thought taking his time to come out to his best friend comfortably constitutes as lying. He is honest with Eddie, and he clearly hates hiding things from his best friend because he gets all weird and uncomfortable about it. If Buck knew that he is in love in with Eddie, we, the audience, would know too. And that’s including the general audience. This isn’t a case where Buck could admit it to someone else and feel a little better that it’s out there, even though Eddie still doesn’t know. This is a man who is incapable of lying to his best friend, or keeping a secret from him. Not only is he incapable of it, he hates it! He doesn’t care about over sharing, he is just desperate for Eddie Diaz to know every part of him and love him anyway.

All I can say to that is, if we see a Buck love realization first, we’d better hope Eddie gets knocked into shape very soon after, or we’re in for a very angsty arc where Buck is “rejected” until Eddie realizes his own feelings. It won’t be a sweet and goofy sequence of Buck avoiding Eddie for a few days once he’s realized, and then telling Eddie magically makes Eddie realize that he feels the same in that very moment. It’ll be Buck accidentally running into Eddie the moment he walks into work the morning after he figures out his feelings, and immediately spilling his love out on the operations floor in front of Eddie and the entire team if he has to. Some sort of gentle rejection on Eddie’s part, and then the boys both shutting down instantly. Then multiple scenes of Buck believing he’s destroyed everything, while Eddie speed runs his gay crisis straight (heh) into a love realization regarding his best friend that he just rejected not three days ago.

So. Do we want the angsty “rejection” route? Or do we want an Eddie realization first, which would contain no less screaming, crying, and throwing up by Eddie, but would spare us the secondhand embarrassment of a Buck so in love that he simply can’t lie to the man he loves’ face for more than a second. Since it would be incredibly cheesy and adorable for their love realizations to happen at the same time, and for them to be ready to admit their feelings in the same scene/episode, I don’t think that’s what’s going to happen. It’s 9-1-1. If there is angst and pain to be had, before leading to a beautiful, fulfilling love, then they’ll be going that route over the simultaneous love confessions.

[ooftale]

get the digitalized and original versions of these drawings i did today!! + Two other doodle pages!

[baxieblur-turnip]

aether!! there's something behind you!!!!

[heteromerous-rhyming]

i think that i've figured out why i don't like show sally.

ok like don't get me wrong, virginia kull?? she ATE with that interpretation. her acting?? amazing. like i could truly get the core of her character.

it's just that i don't like the character the writers give us.

cw: discussion of abusive relationships, of toxic family dynamics, probably a good bit of generational trauma. I don't really get into details except with stuff shown on the show and written in the books but i wanted to be safe.

as someone from an immigrant household, as someone whose mom works a part time minimum wage job, as someone whose seen and been there as my parents fought, i just really really dislike sally's portrayal in the show. and it's partly because of poseidon and partly because of gabe (mostly because of her character in general but yeah, lets get the men out of the way first)

I feel strongly about poseidon in his relationship to sally very specifically. i don't mind his relationship to percy either books or show. but it's pretty damn clear to me that this show was written by someone who's never experienced sally's situation, of being the single working parent with an absentee partner (or in gabe's case a partner who literally ahHHHHHh). because from the beginning, from sally's reaction and snark to gabe, I felt like something was wrong or off, and it was Specifically the show because i read the books and i watched (some) of the musical and i never felt that way towards either of those. i'm not saying that my family situation is sally's (don't have a god for a father for one), but. by all accounts sally knows that this is an abusive relationship, the only reason that she's with gabe is because of the protection he offers percy. i have to assume that this is true because sally jackson turning gabe to stone is something i'm assuming is staying in the show, and i remember this being mentioned by grover? or someone in the first few episodes. and the cord that struck in me was not the traditional (that is, visible, defined, i don't like this word but i don't have a better one) abusive relationship but relationships in my community, of women staying with husbands because of their children, women outright saying this, women who know the world is cruel to single women and to single mothers specifically. sally, to me has never been under any illusions that gabe is any sort of relationship material. she has never been under any illusions that poseidon would be able to help in any way.

and that crux of sally's relationships made her first scene in the show all that more jarring. but it's not anything specifically that i can put a finger on. and maybe i'm wrong for this or maybe i'm expecting too much. but. sally doesn't have the resentment or the quietness or the bitterness or even the loudness that i expected. you have been the only true caretaker for your child, the only one in the house that really puts food on the table and on top of that is expected to do emotional labor? to cook and clean or at least pick up the food?

but she treats gabe like he's an annoyance. someone to brush off. and you see the manipulation tactics from gabe, you do, but.

its not that i want sally's spirit to be crushed. my mother's spirit wasn't crushed. the women in my community, they laugh, they cry, they watch silly tv shows, they have lives that they live, and in many cases they live well.

but the women that i know are also angry. they are either on fire or they used to burn. when they banter with their partners it often turns ugly because they are tired of the same damn argument day after day, because often the trivial things that are asked are compounded and compounded and compounded because you live in the same house, there is no escape, there is no private space, not really.

it's new york and sally works a job to support an apartment and her family. they are not well-off. sally has no support network we can see, and how could she? poseidon mentions that she has no one to talk to about these things, her parents are clearly out of the picture. all this to say. there is a certain understanding of class that exists within the books that was excised, i believe unknowingly, from the show, and it is the worse for it. there is a tiredness, a worn-down-ness from being low income that sally had in the books, but in the show i only see a struggling first time single parent. i don't see the complexity of a woman who literally gave up on finding a fulfilling relationship to be with a man for her child. i don't see the complexity of a woman working fulltime and still getting demanded from at home. and i didn't realize that I wanted to see that until I saw the show. i didn't realize that that was what i loved about the books.

i hate that they tried to bring poseidon back into sally's life as this perfect man who through cosmic forces can't help. i hate that sally calls him, i hate that he says he'll listen. but most of all i hate that sally just accepts him, falls into him. it's really hard to be a mother when your partner doesn't seem to help you parent in any way, even if he cannot help you. he's a greek god, there's no way in hell that he can begin to understand the lengths that sally has gone through to sacrifice and survive, the very human things that she's done. sally in the books thinks of poseidon as a sweet memory, almost a fairytale, and it's clear that this story is the one that brings her comfort. poseidon is a one night stand, a sweet stranger, she understands he's not coming back. but this poseidon comes when sally calls, and that i cannot believe. i cannot believe that she still thinks of him as the fairytale man, that she accepts him so easily if there isn't that distance. i cannot believe that there is no resentment, that she still puts faith in him as her god (the first episode when she talks about him just felt so wrong to me) if he's not a memory, but a recurring figure. this is not a story of star-crossed lovers, sally feels too real as a human being for that.

sally finds trust, finds contentment, in the books after percy leaves home, after she no longer has to put up with gabe for his safety. she does not find poseidon again. she marries a human man, a very ordinary human man who cares for her. poseidon visits after she is in this relationship and its an amicable one. he is percy's father but also distant memory all in one. sally has the strength to survive a terrible relationship and still find a way to heal and live fully after that.

but the anger. the fire was there. she turned gabe to stone. she reclaimed her life with her two hands.

you don't kill a man for no reason. you don't kill a man without emotion.

but it's that reason and that emotion that i don't get from the writer's room. and it just makes me deeply sad.

[fairyofshampgyu]

he’s literally so beautiful and handsome

[storge]

Who are you? I’m your fiance.

FAN ZHIXIN as Yan Xingcheng My Lethal Man (2023)

[psychopomp-namine]

I finally saw that cooking poll... cxs should've been SWEEPING that poll hello?????

[ladyofchroyane]

When I see stuff like this I kinda want to bash my head into a wall:

To start off, I’m not sure whether this person was commenting on book or show Cersei, but honestly, it doesn’t even matter because she’s so much more than the ‘ambitious villain’ or the ‘murderous girlboss’ tropes in both the book and show.

(Of course, I do have my issues with the way Cersei was written in the show like most people but this is simply a rant post so I’m not going to go through the differences of Show vs Book Cersei)

Cersei is a female character who was shaped by her environment, who’s insecurities were created by her environment, and she’s a woman who’s idiotic mistakes can be traced back to how her environment shaped her. She’s much more than a murderous girlboss, she’s both a victim of the system and also a beneficiary of it, while also acting as an agent of it to keep the status quo while also desiring what the system denied her.

Cersei is NUANCED and complicated and even now people hate that about her and want her to have been a purely evil woman handcrafted in a vacuum, ignoring the context of her life because readers would rather not engage with Cersei’s victimhood and nuances because that ruins their idea of: She Was The Problem and Always The Problem. (People would rather say that she deserved her walk of shame instead of interacting meaningfully with the theme of systematic gender-based violence that is so prevalent in Cersei’s story. The exploration of patriarchal violence in Show Alicent’s story is done so horribly in comparison.)

And what really pissed me off about these tags is that this person has clearly decided that they don’t care to interact with the nuance of Cersei and are fine with flattening her, and yet they shit on others for not liking Alicent.

Because of the way Alicent is written in this show, she almost always has a ‘woe is me I can do no wrong’ attitude, which of course drives people away from the character (woe is me I deserve to take a child’s eye 🥺). However, what actually annoys me is how she’s made out to be stupid, foolish, ignorant, and inconsistent due to the horrible writing of this show, all of which are deviations from her book characterization. Also, I despise it when people want me to support writing decisions and changes made in adaptations that are downright misogynistic and are meant to attract the male gaze.

But what pisses many people, including myself, off is how the changes made negatively impacted many other characters. Alicent’s terrible characterization is like a black hole that distorts and warps the whole story! It’s annoying af!

So when people like this say: ‘She’s nuanced and people just can’t handle it 🙄;’ I say: No. She’s horribly written and a different character from the book and people have a right to be critical about these changes that stripped a female character of 1) her agency and 2) her intelligence!

And the thing is, there was little reason for the writers to have made all these changes to Alicent’s characterization! In the book she is an interesting character with clear motives and understandable reactions. She’s cunning and ambitious and acts the way a noble lady who became queen would. And despite her clear ambitions and dislike of Rhaenyra, she still makes a comment wondering about who would protect the Princess from Ser Criston, and yet she then takes Cole into her service after his falling out with Rhaenyra. That’s a perfect example of nuance! Show Alicent could never compare to book Alicent’s clear moral values and consistent disregard of said moral values in pursuit of power.

And because of this, Book Alicent isn’t easy to stomach. It’s hard for most people to come to terms with a character like her and it’s even harder for people to feel sympathetic for her at the end when she went mad with grief.

On the other hand, Show Alicent was designed in a way to garner pity, and when the writers felt like her current arc wouldn’t be enough to garner the specific reaction they wanted they would then throw in a time skip and suddenly she’s completely different and yet still Thee victim. She’s designed to be as sympathetic as fucking possible! The camera angles, the background music, and the lighting is set up in a way to make sure you the viewer feels pity or sympathy for her! Cause that’s her role in this series! She’s thee Ultimate Victim!

But too bad for the writers as many people are fed up with this kind of inconsistent writing. Even when the writers created a whole new challenge for Alicent where she’s shitted on by the green council and forced to face the beast she helped to raise, I and many others could never feel any satisfaction as it was clear that once again Alicent was being made to be Thee Ultimate Victim who was just led astray by the patriarchy and was a victim of it and was only just realizing it so don’t you pity her don’t you feel sad for her and now she’s trying to do the right thing so pls pls pls pity her 🥺~ So it shouldn’t be surprising that many people are annoyed by these eNLiGhtEnEd changes that have led to a complete deviation from the source material.

To summarize: Cersei is an excellent fucking character who’s by no means easy to stomach, and because she’s not easy to stomach she’s often reduced to annoying ass tropes by dumbasses who are reading above their comprehension level. But when you actually try to understand her, you can easily see why she turned out the way she did and you can feel sympathy for her while understanding that she’s both victim and perpetrator! On the other hand, Show Alicent is a mess and HOTD is trying to make her serve a different narrative role than she did in the books so ofc people are going to be unhappy with the changes as book readers are once again faced with the annoying reality that the writers don’t give a fuck about the source material.

[serpentface]

Do you conlang? I was wondering if you had naming languages (or possibly even more developed ones) for pulling the words you use. I tried to search your blog but didn't find anything, wouldn't be surprised if the feature is just busted tho. Your worldbuilding is wonderful and I particularly enjoy the anthropological and linguistic elements.

Ok the thing is I had kind of decided I was not going to do any conlanging because I don't feel like I'm equipped to do a good job of it, like was fully like "I'm just going to do JUST enough that it doesn't fail an immediate sniff test and is more thoughtful than just keysmashing and putting in vowels". And then have kinda been conlanging anyway (though not to a very deep and serious extent. I maybe have like....an above average comprehension of how language construction works via willingness to research, but that's not saying much, also I can never remember the meanings of most linguistic terms like 'frictives' or etc off the top of my head. I'm just kinda raw dogging it with a vague conceptualization of what these things mean)

I do at least have a naming language for Wardi (and more basic rules for other established languages) but the rudimentary forms of it were devised with methods much shakier and less linguistically viable than even the most basic naming language schemes, and I only went back over it LONG after I had already made a bunch of words so there's some inconsistencies with consonant presence and usage. (This can at least be justified because it IS a language that would have a lot of loanwords and would be heavily influenced by other language groups- Burri being by far the most significant, Highland-Finnic and Yuroma-Lowlands also being large contributors)

The 'method' I used was:

-Skip basic construction elements and fully move into devising necessary name words, with at least a Vibe of what consonants are going to be common and how pronunciation works -Identify some roots out of the established words and their meanings. Establish an ongoing glossary of known roots/words. -Construct new words based in root words, or as obvious extensions/variants of established words. -Get really involved in how the literal meanings of some words might not translate properly to english, mostly use this to produce a glossary of in-universe slang. -Realize that I probably should have at least some very basic internal consistency at this point. -Google search tutorials on writing a naming language. -Reverse engineer a naming language out of established words, and ascribe all remaining inconsistencies to being loanwords or just the mysteries of life or whatever.

I do at least have some strongly established pronunciation rules and a sense of broad regional dialect/accents.

-'ai' words are almost always pronounced with a long 'aye' sound.

-There is no 'Z' or 'X' sound, a Wardi speaker pronouncing 'zebra' would go for 'tsee-brah', and would attempt 'xylophone' as 'ssye-lohp-hon'

-'V' sounds are nearly absent and occur only in loanwords, and tend to be pronounced with a 'W' sound. 'Virsum' is a Highland word (pronounced 'veer-soom') denoting ancestry, a Wardi speaker would go 'weer-sum'.

-'Ch' spellings almost always imply a soft 'chuh' sound when appearing after an E, I, or O (pelatoche= pel-ah-toh-chey), but a hard 'kh' sound after an A or U (odomache= oh-doh-mah-khe). When at the start of a word, it's usually a soft 'ch' unless followed by an 'i' sound (chin (dog) is pronounced with a hard K 'khiin', cholem (salt) is pronounced with a soft Ch 'cho-lehm')

-Western Wardin has strong Burri cultural and linguistic influence, and a distinct accent- one of the most pronounced differences is use of the ñ sound in 'nn' words. The western city of Ephennos is pronounced 'ey-fey-nyos' by most residents, the southeastern city of Erubinnos is pronounced 'eh-roo-been-nos' by most residents. Palo's surname 'Apolynnon' is pronounced 'A-puh-lee-nyon' in the Burri and western Wardi dialects (which is the 'proper' pronunciation, given that it's a Kos name), but will generally be spoken as 'Ah-poh-leen-non' in the south and east.

-R's are rolled in Highland-Finnic words. Rolling R's is common in far northern rural Wardi dialects but no others. Most urban Wardi speakers consider rolling R's sort of a hick thing, and often think it sounds stupid or at least uneducated. (Brakul's name should be pronounced with a brief rolled 'r', short 'ah' and long 'uul', but is generally being pronounced by his south-southeastern compatriots with a long unrolled 'Brah' sound).

Anyway not really a sturdy construction that will hold up to the scrutiny of someone well equipped for linguistics but not pure bullshit either.

[theunconcernedembalmer]

...so my laptop finally died

[sunshades]

as someone who likes hl x hc and also respects and enjoys the chars separately and not just as a ship i do not claim that one twitter artist that draws fullstop heath in a muzzle and likens him to a stray dog. awful. terrible. i hate people. also hl is buff as hell evidence is k corp id pre uptie and even tingtang too

but regardless HC❤️CE sweep forever and ever

(in response to this) u know it's bad bc i don't even know which artist you're referring to because theres so manyRSDGHDBJFSDG i feel like i complained this to multiple people before but i always remember one piece over here with Again the muzzle and like a disembodied white arm with a leash or something captioned like "u can imagine hl or cat holding it hehe <3" like well im not gonna do that dont group me in with you lol 😭 and the fact that theyre both higher class people too on top of being pale like hmm. lets maybe think about that a little.

also LITERALLY i guess u see it in all hc ships except like 57 because inthat one the appeal is "two big men" and frankly nothing else? but all the stuff like. 71 or 711 is so focused on this thing of small fragile pale uke i... head in my hands... but yeah with 67 it is so crazy how often i see hl get twinkified in the ship like hes not built like a brick shithouse? incredibly funny. 0/10 you are weird and also failed your hl test try again next year