#<- in case this triggers people who deal with paranoia and suspicion

[the-magic-mirror]

Inktober day 7: Alien

“Stop looking at me”

I can’t tell if the eyes belong to me or everyone else. Like I’m the weird thing with many eyes, seeing everyone watch me, or everyone’s eyes are on me.

[anbroids]

The unnamed protagonist has worn a moustache for at least a decade. One day, on a whim, he decides to shave it off. However, no one notices. It's true that people can sometimes fail to notice even obvious changes to the things they are used to seeing frequently. Familiar items, friends, family members no longer command your attention, conscious observation is abandoned in favour of their assumed appearance. In this case, however, the indifferent response to the absence of a moustache triggers a sequence of cause and effect that occupies the remaining narrative. Thematically the book explores a great deal about perception of self, the presence of identity, how this may define a person and what might happen when deprived of self-identity. Physicality can become irrelevant, you are known to people for who you are, and not precisely what you look like. It is perhaps only the self that cares about appearance, how one is perceived by the wider world. You cannot necessarily control your character, your foibles or your body language, but you can control how you style your hair and how you dress. But what happens when even that is questioned? Our protagonist enters a protracted standoff with his beloved wife Agnes. They vacillate between mutual suspicion of insanity and passionate sexual trysts to rekindle the diminishing trust. Agnes' character is given a backstory suggesting that she have a vindictive side; not malevolent, but not straightforward. Paranoia extends its strangling tentacles; unspoken agreements are forgotten but we infer through their sexual engagement how he draws reliance and sustenance from her. This exacerbates the sense of deceit, he cannot disbelieve her, but neither can he believe her. He cannot trust his own instinct; she has this power. Caroline Spalding

like hear me out

the moustache by emmanuel carrère is about jake english

[phynxrizng]

DAILY ASTROLOGY REPORTS AND HOROSCOPES FOR, 10-9-17

Astrology Cafe Daily Astrology ABOUT TODAY DAILY MONTHLY CHART You are here: Home / Daily Astrology / Astrology of Today – Monday, October 9, 2017 Astrology of Today – Monday, October 9, 2017 Oct 8, 2017 by Annie Leave a Comment  The Moon is in Gemini. The Moon is waning and in its Waning Gibbous phase. The Full Moon occurred on the 5th in the sign of Aries, and the Last Quarter Moon will occur on October 12th. **Times are EDT. Horoscopes Aries  Aries The tendency to worry about your work, performance, or achievements can interfere in other life departments today, dear Aries — most notably, in your relationships, and this is especially the case if you’ve been feeling others don’t truly understand your concerns and goals. The chances are high that you’re stressing yourself out unnecessarily, or that if there are looming problems, you’re better off working on making changes and improvements rather than stressing out. Even so, keep in mind that people are on edge in general right now, so don’t be surprised if you end up keeping your own counsel until things calm down. Watch for a possible obsession with an idea, problem, or line of thought that doesn’t serve you well. Try your best to get over attitudes or thought patterns that are too negative to do you any good. Taurus  Taurus Tensions can emerge over differences of methods, approaches, and opinions today, dear Taurus, and your job or daily routines can be disrupted as a result. Something communicated can get to you, but it’s probably best not to react as it’s a no-win situation. Words can really bite today with Pluto active and challenged, and yet everyone seems to want to express themselves! If there have been problems brewing under the surface of things in your relationships or regarding workloads, they’re likely to erupt now. Avoid getting caught in power plays. Sore spots can be revealing, however, since they’re areas of your psyche that need extra attention. Take the pressure off, as you may be making mountains out of molehills at the moment. Or, harness the energy to think up solutions to ongoing problems. Gemini  Gemini Your desire to go your own way and to do your own thing is compelling right now, dear Gemini, but you could also fear leaving something or someone alone. It will be important not to act out as a result of this inner tension. There can be a struggle between the desire for lighthearted, fun connections and a longing for something deeper. Mixed messages are given and received now, and they’re hard to make sense of. If you’re holding onto resentment, this can come up to the surface in disruptive ways. Consider that just for today, you are thinking in extremes and, as such, your judgment may be a little off regarding financial and love matters. Take a step back, since even you will get a hint that you may be over-reacting to a situation, and this tells you where you could use a little detachment or cooling off before making big decisions. Cancer  Cancer You may feel pressed to decide a matter, or you may be making a huge deal of an issue that hasn’t yet happened, dear Cancer. This is due to Pluto’s influence on Mercury and the Sun, active today, leading us to think and possibly act in extremes. However, the conundrum could be useful now if it stimulates you to protect your interests better, so allow yourself to feel it, but take the pressure off to resolve the problem right away. However, watch for people playing mind games now, and consider that there can be strings attached if you go a certain way. You don’t have to be paranoid with others now, but you may want to wait to make big moves until you feel calmer and more composed. Leo  Leo The atmosphere can be on the charged side today as your ruler, the Sun, and Mercury come up against Pluto, dear Leo. Power games may happen, particularly with people who share your daily schedules, work, or routines, or pressures to get things done can be unrelenting. Still, some of this pressure may come from within and may be excessive, as you can be thinking in extremes now. Try not to push yourself too hard. You can be so attached to your routines and methods that you clash with others. Save topics that require a soft touch for another day, as words can be harsh now, that is, until tonight, when it’s far easier to let things go, gain perspective. Virgo  Virgo If you’re not careful today, dear Virgo, you might get caught up in others’ dramas with both the Sun and Mercury in challenging aspect to Pluto. Someone wants attention, and you don’t want to give it when you feel pushed to do so. Worries about money and love, or how they mix, can surface. There can be drama in your romantic life or with kids and money. Alternatively, part of you is seeking security and another part, excitement, and it can be difficult to reconcile the two. Attempts to over-control or micromanage people and situations can be a warning sign that you’re overly attached, and you can benefit from some disengagement! There’s a push-pull energy going on that’s likely to frustrate, although if you observe, you might find ways to strike a balance. Libra  Libra Concerns about matters on the home front can undermine your confidence today, dear Libra, and the desire for independence and the escape of your responsibilities can be strong. Restlessness is the likely result! Power games are unlikely to help matters. Take a deep breath and find a balance. Avoid dwelling on matters that you can’t change. Consider that a square from Pluto to both the Sun and Mercury in your sign today can act to magnify fears as well as “un-bury” old grievances. What surfaces today may have been a long time coming, however, and can help break you away from past negative patterns. Scorpio  Scorpio Your mood can be up and down today until tonight, dear Scorpio. Part of the reason is that you may be reading too much into others’ actions and words, looking for something wrong. Perhaps because you fear the worst, you’re jumping ahead of yourself trying to find it so that you’re not taken off guard. Try to nip this problem in the bud right away! Emotional satisfaction today comes from truly connecting with others on a deep level, and defensiveness or suspicion is not going to get you any closer — to others or yourself. There can also be a tendency to be provocative in your communications now with both the Sun and Mercury forming a square to your ruler, Pluto. By tonight, you’re ready to begin letting things go, and this is good for you. Sagittarius  Sagittarius Frustration, resentment, and anger can be brewing very close to the surface today, Sagittarius, and can be very easy to set off now. Pushing with others leads to defensiveness which sets you back, so if you really want to get to the truth of a matter, a softer approach is probably better. However, before even going there, ask yourself if you are seeking the truth or just power-tripping! With Pluto so strong now, it can be difficult knowing the difference. Find ways to loosen up and relax, and if this means removing yourself from tense situations, do so if you can. Watch also for overattachment to your traditions and methods, which can lead to frustrations with friends. You may be nervous about change. Focus less on others and more on bettering yourself now for best results. Make plans to improve your life rather than dwell on past mistakes. Capricorn  Capricorn Communications are loaded today, Capricorn, and you may feel as if you’re under a microscope. Insecurities about a work project or function can be magnified, and you may be wrestling with a bit of paranoia now. Watch for poor behavior stemming from fears of not being “in the know. ” Fear of being out of the loop can lead to all sorts of problems in your relationships, and possibly to your reputation. Go forward with the resolve to manage your life more efficiently. There can be frustration with people who seem to have an ulterior motive or an agenda now, and while you can’t control others, you can control where you put your energies. Use your intensity for constructive projects today. Aquarius  Aquarius Watch out for processing so much information that you suffer from sensory overload today, dear Aquarius. It’s best to be discriminating with what you take in. However, don’t run away from problems today, either. Keep in mind that there’s something precious to learn from your interactions with others. Events of today reveal where you’ve been over-attached, and this gives you the chance to take steps to free yourself from fear in these areas of life. You may be experiencing difficulties that relate to the keeping of secrets, or differing belief systems can trigger buried frustration today. Consider that micromanaging or obsessing over an area of your life is likely to be self-destructive. Detach yourself enough to regain your composure. Pisces  Pisces The illumination of a tricky subject or a buried frustration can emerge today, dear Pisces, with Pluto active and challenged. Although it’s meant to surface so that you can finally deal with it, you may be feeling a tad irritable now, and perhaps even offended! Find ways to build your sense of self-worth, value, security, and comfort now instead of focusing on what’s missing. Relations with others can get heated, whether it’s because someone feels overly attached or threatened by changes you are making. Also, try not to read too much into a situation. We tend to overthink and jump to negative conclusions today. Sorting through the truths and more profound emotions that surface now can be helpful. * Remember to read horoscopes for your Ascendant sign and Sun sign. If you don’t know your Ascendant sign (and you know your birth time), you can look it up here. If Your Birthday is October 9th, If Today is Your Birthday full horoscope here. Astrology of Today – The Details: If you’re astrologically inclined and interested in the details of the Astrology of today, here are some of the factors considered in the forecasts (for the astrology of the week, see This Week in Astrology):    Date & Time: Oct 9 2017 0:00 am Event: Moon in Gemini Description: The Moon in Gemini We are attracted to new ideas, but we need to discriminate more so that we don’t become too scattered. Communications mean more to us than usual. Date & Time: Oct 9 2017 0:51 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqq Plu Description: Transiting Moon SesquiSquare Transiting Pluto Deeper feelings emerge suddenly, and possibly in a disruptive way. We may be over-reacting or going to extremes. Wait for the tension to subside before taking action. Date & Time: Oct 9 2017 6:16 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sxt Cer Description: Transiting Moon Sextile Transiting Ceres We can be feeling pleasantly attached to, or supported by, our loved ones or family. We are seeking out security, nurturing, and warmth, and we are more likely to express these things towards others. Date & Time: Oct 9 2017 10:57 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Qnx Jun Description: Transiting Moon Quincunx Transiting Juno There can be some inclination to manipulate others to further our own goals, which should be avoided. There may be indecision regarding feelings about a relationship. Alternatively, there can be a conundrum regarding family and a relationship. Date & Time: Oct 9 2017 3:44 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Tri Ves Description: Transiting Moon Trine Transiting Vesta We can derive a nice feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment from tending to our responsibilities, work, or other commitment. We are more able to make sacrifices or put our emotions aside in order to get something important done. Alternatively, we can bring more sensitivity to our practical affairs. This can be a good time to commit fully to something – especially health and healing matters. It’s also a strong time for taking care of domestic matters. Date & Time: Oct 9 2017 5:29 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon SSq Ura Description: Transiting Moon SemiSquare Transiting Uranus We can easily find ourselves all wound up and nervous. Unpredictable responses from others (and ourselves). Emotional eruptions are possible. Not a good time to make permanent decisions, particularly about relationships and family/domestic matters. Date & Time: Oct 9 2017 5:33 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqr Nep Description: Transiting Moon Square Transiting Neptune There can be confusion, misunderstanding, or some level of chaos and uncertainty. Avoid money transactions or new business initiatives – it can be difficult to think clearly. There may be deception or self-deception to deal with. We might have an emotional urge to escape. Feeling out of sorts and don’t know why? Relax and listen to some inspirational music. Honor your need to feed your more refined or spiritual side, and the difficult feelings will soon fade away. Date & Time: Oct 9 2017 10:25 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqq Jup Description: Transiting Moon SesquiSquare Transiting Jupiter Time to show some restraint. Grandiosity is not appealing. Neither is excess. Practice self-control. Self-indulgence is more likely now. We’re not as inclined to consider the consequences of over-eating, over-drinking, or overdoing in general. We may be acting in a haughty manner. Date & Time: Oct 9 2017 8:11 pm Event: Tr-Tr Sun Sqr Plu Description: Transiting Sun Square Transiting Pluto We may be tempted to control or manipulate events and people, and can have difficulty reaching a compromise. We might need to reevaluate expectations, face our fears, manage power struggles, and deal with urges to control others and situations. Date & Time: Oct 9 2017 8:26 am Event: Tr-Tr Mer Sqr Plu Description: Transiting Mercury Square Transiting Pluto We can be worried or troubled, a little paranoid, and possibly suspicious with this combination. We are defensive about our ideas, intelligence, or perceptions, and might take it personally if others are not agreeing with or adopting our opinions. Date & Time: Oct 9 2017 0:54 am Event: Tr-Tr Sat Tri Nod Description: Transiting Saturn Trine Transiting North Node Destiny now gives you the chance to let go of the past and incorporate new people, projects and habits. Strong Signs, Elements, Modes BALANCE OF SIGNS GEMINI STRONG Agile, versatile, inquisitive, flowing, conversational, airy, many ideas. Can be volatile, superficial, changeable, restless and inconsistent. VIRGO STRONG Meticulous, discriminating, pure, practical, health conscious, hard working. Can be hyper-critical, petty and perfectionistic. LIBRA STRONG Even-handed, harmonious, artistic, diplomatic, balancing, strong sense of fairness. Can be over- compromising, appeasing, judgmental. BALANCE OF ELEMENTS FIRE WEAK We are not very goal-oriented right now, or motivation to pursue our goals may be waning/lacking. Changes feel overwhelming. Enthusiasm may be low, we argue less, and we think more than we take action. AIR STRONG We tend to favor rational, objective thought over emotions, impulses, and feelings at this time. We are more intellectual, fair-minded, and logical in our approach, Ideas flow easily and quickly, we are more communicative and guided by principles, and also somewhat dispassionate or impersonal. WATER WEAK There may be some insensitivity or lack of empathy now. We may be out of touch with what we’re feeling or with our emotional needs. We may be tougher than usual now, and more inclined to follow mental or practical considerations than we are to listen to our intuition. BALANCE OF MODES FIXED WEAK We may be open to change but may not have much follow-through. MUTABLE STRONG We are flexible, adaptable, willing, open to change, and possibly flighty or nervous. LUNAR PHASE: DISSEMINATING Moon 135 to 90 degrees behind the Sun. Sharing our knowledge with the world is a major motivation at this stage. We believe we have gained much knowledge and wisdom through our experiences, and want to ensure others have the benefit as well. The following aspects (major only) and positions are at noon (EDT) on October 9th: Note that when an aspect is applying, it has not yet happened but is within orb – it’s pending. When an aspect is separating, it has already happened/perfected and is moving away from the aspect. Depending on the speed of the planet/body involved, the aspect will have perfected–or will perfect–in a matter of hours (often the case with the Moon), days, months, and possibly years in the case of the very slow-moving outer planets and bodies. Note that the Moon moves at a rate of approximately one degree every 2 hours so that if an aspect involving the Moon is applying and has an orb of 5 degrees, the aspect will perfect (be exact) in about 10 hours. If the Moon is separating from an aspect with an orb of 2 degrees, it has already formed said aspect approximately 4 hours ago (since the following are positions at noon today, then it would have occurred at about 8 AM today). **I suggest paying close attention to applying aspects. The energy of the aspect builds as it gets closer to exact. Once an aspect involving inner planets has happened, it’s over. Separating aspects are good to know for context, but in terms of energy that is with us today, applying aspects are most important. (This is the case for daily astrology influences involving inner planets, which pass quickly, and not natal astrology aspects, which are with us for a lifetime). THE MOON THE MOON IN GEMINI We are attracted to new ideas and are especially curious. We may need to discriminate so that we don’t become too scattered. Communications mean more to us than usual. 9TH DEGREE OF GEMINI Part of Body: Pulmonary arteries Sabian Symbol: A quiver filled with arrows. ASPECTS OF THE MOON TRINE THE SUN Orb 7°55′ Applying We are supportive, cooperative, open, genuine, and more relaxed than usual. SQUARE NEPTUNE Orb 3°21′ Applying We may feel a need to escape or to rewrite our lives in various ways – by seeing what we want to see, for example. This is a short time in which there can be lack of clarity. Emotional and physical sensitivity. THE SUN THE SUN IN LIBRA You are diplomatic, and have a strong need for peace and harmony. Beauty is important to you, and you could be vain. 17TH DEGREE OF LIBRA Part of Body: Suprarenal arteries Sabian Symbol: A retired sea captain. ASPECTS OF THE SUN CONJUNCTION MERCURY Orb 0°35′ Separating Thoughts and communications about ourselves and our goals. We are expressing ourselves confidently, directly, and clearly. SQUARE PLUTO Orb 0°20′ Applying We may be tempted to control or manipulate events and people, and can have difficulty reaching a compromise. We might need to reevaluate expectations, face our fears, manage power struggles, and deal with urges to control others and situations. MERCURY MERCURY IN LIBRA You are a diplomat and peacemaker, often acting as a go-between in relationships. You a good communicator, putting others at their ease. Arguments may upset you, as you prefer harmony in communications. 18TH DEGREE OF LIBRA Part of Body: Fatty capsule of kidneys Sabian Symbol: Two men placed under arrest. ASPECTS OF MERCURY SQUARE PLUTO Orb 0°15′ Separating We can be worried or troubled, a little paranoid, and possibly suspicious with this combination. We are defensive about our ideas, intelligence, or perceptions, and might take it personally if others are not agreeing with or adopting our opinions. VENUS VENUS IN VIRGO This is a time when we express our love through practical means and gestures – running errands, doing detail work, or just being there. What we love, what we decide to buy and the types of entertainment we enjoy during this cycle are ruled by whether or not things make sense. 25TH DEGREE OF VIRGO Part of Body: Liver Sabian Symbol: A flag at half-mast in front of a large public building. ASPECTS OF VENUS CONJUNCTION MARS Orb 2°23′ Separating This is a passionate, lively, expressive influence. Social relations are impassioned, and perhaps demanding or combative. We may also feel compelled to do something creative or artistic. We have a chance to express our needs, passions, and desires now in effective ways. Venus can act to soften Mars’ aggressiveness, or Mars can make Venus’ romantic impulses more forceful and pressing. Some level of competition is present in our interactions. Impulsive purchases are possible. SQUARE SATURN Orb 1°19′ Separating Lack of spontaneity when it comes to expressions of affection and the pursuit of pleasure, likely due to insecurities or fear. We may be reserved, withdrawn, cautious, and tight with money and/or feelings. Feelings of being alone and not getting what we want/need can be experienced now. OPPOSITION CHIRON Orb 1°32′ Applying You tend to suffer emotional pain in your personal relationships. You are so busy caring for your loved ones that you neglect your own needs. This imbalance can lead to you resenting your partners . You also tend to become the peacemaker as you are so sensitive to disharmony. You need to learn to nurture yourself and trust your own wisdom. MARS MARS IN VIRGO You will pursue your personal desires in a practical and methodical manner. You may be critical if opposed. 22ND DEGREE OF VIRGO Part of Body: Gall-bladder Sabian Symbol: A royal coat of arms. ASPECTS OF MARS SQUARE SATURN Orb 1°04′ Applying We can feel thwarted, blocked, or slowed down. Enthusiasm wanes. Delays are possible, but might lead to important edits and adjustments. TRINE PLUTO Orb 4°49′ Separating Ambitions and determination increase to pursue our goals. It’s easier to see what we want and to devise a plan to pursue it. We may be focusing on redoing or reworking something from the ground up. OPPOSITION CHIRON Orb 3°56′ Applying We can be quite touchy and easily aggravated at this time if we are not dealing with the source of our anger issues and frustrations. With these emerging, we can more easily see what’s tripping us up. Physical activity might also help release stress now. JUPITER JUPITER IN LIBRA You have a strong concern for justice. You are a diplomatic teacher, and express your spiritual values in your relationships. 30TH DEGREE OF LIBRA Part of Body: Left ureter Sabian Symbol: Three mounds of knowledge on a philosopher’s head. ASPECTS OF JUPITER OPPOSITION URANUS Orb 2°52′ Separating You are keen to change things in this world as you see no reason to continue with the old traditions. You speak out against injustice, but may lack the patience and persistence to see through the changes. SATURN SATURN IN SAGITTARIUS Saturn in Sagittarius asks us to take on the responsibility of living according to our personal truths and principles — and to be loyal to these. This is a time for turning a critical eye to those beliefs and principles that don’t accurately reflect our authentic selves. (December 23, 2014, to June 14, 2015, then September 17, 2015, to December 20, 2017) 23RD DEGREE OF SAGITTARIUS Part of Body: Left trochanter Sabian Symbol: Immigrants entering a new country. ASPECTS OF SATURN TRINE URANUS Orb 4°08′ Applying You have a talent for investigation. You look at new ideas and are able then to put them into action. In business you achieve much in your own independent way. SQUARE CHIRON Orb 2°52′ Applying There can be fears now of not being competent or effective enough to meet our responsibilities, or we could find it hard to strike out on a unique path, again due to fears or insecurities. The desire to break from the status quo is strong, but we may not have the necessary confidence to do so. We may have difficulties empathizing with others and understanding ourselves. URANUS URANUS IN ARIES The urge to start fresh, to break free from restrictive attitudes or circumstances, to totally redesign an area of our lives (or even our personalities), and to gain freedom through independence is strong during this cycle. (May 27, 2010, to August 13, 2010, then March 11th, 2011, to May 15, 2018, then November 6, 2018, to March 6, 2019). 27TH DEGREE OF ARIES Part of Body: Fornix/frontal bone Sabian Symbol: Through imagination, a lost opportunity is regained. NEPTUNE NEPTUNE IN PISCES A long-term influence in which fantasy, imagination, compassion, and spirituality are in stronger focus. (April 4, 2011, to August 4, 2011, then February 3, 2012, to March 30, 2025, then October 22, 2025, to January 26, 2026) 12TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Plantar artery of right foot Sabian Symbol: An examination of initiates. PLUTO PLUTO IN CAPRICORN Tests of our boundaries; breaking down and rebuilding structures and rules. (From January 25, 2008, to June 14, 2008, then November 26, 2008, to March 23, 2023, then June 11, 2023, to January 20, 2024, then September 1, 2024, to November 19, 2024). 17TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Condyle of left tibia Sabian Symbol: A person surreptitiously bathing in the nude. Chiron, Major Asteroids, and Moon’s Nodes: in Sign and in Aspect CHIRON CHIRON IN PISCES Strong awareness of our own vulnerabilities and humanity stimulates compassion for others. (April 20 to July 20, 2010, then February 8, 2011, to April 17, 2018, then September 25, 2018, to February 18, 2019). 26TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Plantar nerves Sabian Symbol: A new moon that divides its influences. VESTA IN LIBRA You prefer to work with other people, rather than on your own. You like to share work resources and yet need to watch that you don’t become too competitive. You want to be recognized as an equal. 11TH DEGREE OF LIBRA Part of Body: Nerve supply to kidney and renal pelvis Sabian Symbol: A professor peering over his glasses. PALLAS PALLAS IN TAURUS You have the ability to see the beauty in nature and the arts. You have much common sense and wisdom. You may become involved in either healing with your hands or healing the earth through environmental movements. 12TH DEGREE OF TAURUS Part of Body: Cervical and brachial plexi Sabian Symbol: A young couple walk down main-street, window-shopping. JUNO JUNO IN CAPRICORN You want a partner who you can respect, and who respects you. You seek long-term commitment and may marry later in life. 8TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Lymph vessels of knee Sabian Symbol: Birds in the house singing happily. CERES CERES IN LEO You feel cared for when other people play with you and praise you. You like to show others you care for them by encouraging their creative talents and sense of fun. 6TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Entrance of pulmonary artery Sabian Symbol: An old fashioned woman and an up-to-date girl. THE NORTH NODE THE NORTH NODE IN LEO This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world. 23RD DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Left auricle Sabian Symbol: A bareback rider in a circus thrills excited crowds. THE SOUTH NODE THE SOUTH NODE IN AQUARIUS This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world. 23RD DEGREE OF AQUARIUS Part of Body: Left gastroscnemius muscle Sabian Symbol: A big bear sitting down and waving all its paws. *** CONJUNCTIONS TO SELECT FIXED STARS *** Transits 9 October 2017 Aspects to Mars 21°Vi42 +04°21′ Cnj 21°Vi51 DENEBOLA To go against society Aspects to Saturn 22°Sg47 -22°11′ Cnj 22°Sg41 RAS ALHAGUE The desire to heal a wound. Aspects to Pluto 16°Cp52 -21°46′ Cnj 16°Cp52 RUKBAT Steadiness and strength. Aspects to Juno 07°Cp59 -12°51′ Cnj 08°Cp32 FACIES — Ruthlessness or the victim. Aspects to Black Moon 26°Sg35 -19°11′ Cnj 25°Sg58 ACULEUS Enduring attacks but success  SHARE THIS: EmailFacebook1TwitterTumblrGoogleReddit Filed Under: Daily Astrology Tagged With: Mercury Pluto transit, Mercury square Pluto, October 9, Sun Pluto transit, Sun square Pluto transit  « Astrology of Today – Sunday, October 8, 2017Astrology of Today – Tuesday, October 10, 2017 » Leave a Reply   Search this website … Search Cafe Astrology Cafe Astrology Home Cafe Astrology Free Reports Recent Astrology of Today – Tuesday, October 10, 2017 Astrology of Today – Monday, October 9, 2017 Astrology of Today – Sunday, October 8, 2017 Astrology of Today – Saturday, October 7, 2017 Astrology of Today – Friday, October 6, 2017 In this post Full Moon‌ Last Quarter Moon‌ The Moon is waning‌ Tags Jupiter Neptune transit Mars-Pluto transit Mars Chiron transit Mars Jupiter transit Mars Neptune transit Mars Pluto transit Mars Saturn transit Mars Saturn transit Mars Uranus transit Mercury Chiron transit Mercury Jupiter transit Mercury Mars transit Mercury Neptune transit Mercury Pluto transit Mercury quincunx Neptune Mercury Saturn transit Mercury semi-square Venus Mercury square Jupiter Mercury square Mars Mercury square Neptune Mercury square Pluto Mercury trine Pluto Mercury Uranus transit Mercury Venus transit October 6 Sun Chiron transit Sun conjunct Mercury Sun Jupiter transit Sun Mars transit Sun Mercury transit Sun Neptune transit Sun Pluto transit Sun Saturn transit Sun trine Saturn Sun Uranus transit Venus-Mars transit Venus Chiron transit Venus Jupiter transit Venus Mars transit Venus Neptune transit Venus Pluto transit Venus Saturn transit Venus sextile Uranus Venus square Saturn Venus Uranus transit  Previous  Subscribe via Email Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts by email. Email Address Email Address Subscribe Current Planetary Positions 10/9/2017 8:29:00 AM Sun 16° Libra 31' 36" Moon 08° Gemini 18' 11" Mercury 17° Libra 06' 05" Venus 24° Virgo 04' 46" Mars 21° Virgo 42' 10" Jupiter 29° Libra 48' 16" Saturn 22° Sagittarius 47' 05" Uranus 26° Aries 55' 57" R Neptune 11° Pisces 58' 28" R Pluto 16° Capricorn 52' 00" Chiron 25° Pisces 39' 20" R TrueNode 22° Leo 42' 31" R Subscribe to Blog via Email Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Email Address Email Address Subscribe Categories  Archives  October 2017 M T W T F S S « Sep 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Copyright © 2017 · Astrology Cafe by Cafe Astrology

[biofunmy]

A Report On Vaping Bots Triggered The #NotABot Backlash

WASHINGTON — As President Donald Trump and Congress weigh e-cigarette bans amid an outbreak of deadly lung injuries, a fight has erupted over whether vaping supporters online are real people — or bots funded by an industry under attack.

The fight was sparked by a controversial report released two weeks ago by the Public Good Projects, a public health nonprofit. Its analysis — which looked at 1,288,378 tweets related to e-cigarettes or tobacco sent between Feb. 1 and June 1 — concluded that nearly 80% were likely generated by bots, or automated accounts, “posing as passionate pro-vaping individuals.” The findings have been called into question by experts skeptical about its methodology.

The bots report sparked panic among public health officials who are suspicious that the vaping industry, backed by Big Tobacco, is using shady marketing tactics to sway public opinion with misinformation about the dangers of nicotine. But it has also triggered furious backlash online from e-cigarette users concerned about losing access to potentially life-saving vapes. This group has flooded the #NotABot hashtag with conspiracy theories and political threats aimed at the Trump administration, which is grappling with a proposed ban on flavored e-cigs.

Paranoia about the lessons learned from the 30-year-old battle with Big Tobacco loom large on both sides as public health officials worry that vaping companies are borrowing from its playbook, and vaping users fear being driven back to smoking cigarettes.

The findings made headlines when they were first reported by the Wall Street Journal, which linked the report to a congressional committee holding a hearing that week investigating the four major sellers of e-cigarettes, Juul Labs, Fontem Ventures, Japan Tobacco International USA, and Reynolds American. The hearing was actually a look at legislation aimed at curbing youth vaping, rather than corporate behavior. But in August, the committee requested a “list of all social media influencers the companies have paid to market their products and any handles and usernames for social media bots that the companies use to market their products.”

Rep. Frank Pallone of New Jersey, the chair of the Energy and Commerce Committee, linked the inquiry to a nationwide outbreak of severe lung injuries under investigation by the CDC — now standing at 1,604 cases and 34 deaths — to the vaping of THC oil from the black market. Congress was already alarmed by reports of a sharp increase in e-cigarette use among teens. Twenty-one percent of high school seniors had reported vaping in the last 30 days. States such as Massachusetts and Michigan have instituted full or partial vaping bans as a result.

The reliability of the bots report was soon called into question. On Oct. 15, Amelia Howard, a University of Waterloo graduate student and vaping advocate, tweeted that a draft version of the report shown to her by a reporter had listed five illustrative “bot” accounts in a middle section. In at least four cases, those so-called bots were actually people she knew or had met.

Over a week ago the Wall Street Journal asked me to comment on the report that occasioned this story. Sadly none of my comments made the cut. But that’s ok, I’m happy to repeat what I told WSJ (and more!) on twitter in this thread you’re gonna want to read http://bit.ly/2C3upH4

11:59 PM – 15 Oct 2019

That six-page section was cut from the final report when it was released to the public, a move that Howard suggested was to hide its flawed findings. She called it part of a larger “moral panic” aimed against e-cigarettes by public health officials and scientists. “Tobacco control is a very political field and is morally motivated,” Howard told BuzzFeed News.

In defense of the report, Joe Smyser of the Public Good Projects told BuzzFeed News, “What we were really looking for is automation” by Twitter accounts, which might encompass people setting their accounts to automatically retweet certain hashtags. So while real people might own the Twitter accounts, their use of automated tools might leave them flagged as a “bot,” what Smyser called a “cyborg.”

“There is a great deal of messaging that e-cigarettes are safe, nicotine can’t poison people, and that public health authorities are lying,” Smyser said.

Public Good Projects

Automated accounts responding to the news of Trump’s proposed “ban.”

The write-up of five accounts was removed when the group learned the accounts could still be identified despite attempts to redact their names, Smyser said. The point of the report was to show how automation helps sell e-cigarettes and how the practice outweighs public health messages that urge people not to vape — not to attack specific accounts.

“The recent talks about banning e-cigarettes and the vaping illnesses have provided automated accounts with fuel,” Smyser told BuzzFeed News. “This is just the new normal now, and the public health community is behind the eight ball on catching up.”

Other experts say that the numbers in the report sound reasonable based on prior research, but called into question the study’s poorly described methodology for detecting automation.

In a 2017 study cited by the report, Jon-Patrick Allem, an assistant professor of research preventive medicine at the University of Southern California, analyzed more than 6 million tweets related to e-cigarettes with computer code posted online to allow other people to check the approach, relying on about 1,000 characteristics of bot accounts to ferret them out. That study found about 70% of tweets about e-cigarettes came from social bots.

The Public Good Projects report’s results rested on about 100 signs of automation, according to Smyser, such as automatic retweets in response to hashtags and never tweeting original content, to rate 80% of accounts it saw as bots. Those numbers don’t sound unreasonable in 2019, said Allem, especially as scrutiny around vaping has skyrocketed amid the lung injury outbreak. But without detailed methodology describing how the researchers found this phenomenon getting stronger, the results can’t be taken at face value. That “isn’t how we do it in scientific studies,” Allem said.

Smyser said his group is planning to submit the report to a scientific journal to more rigorously address such concerns, arguing that the original paper was “meant for general readers, not scientists.”

7/8 If you’re looking for info on #ecigs & #vaping, pro info often really is easier to find, because of a united front. Here’s a chart showing the recent increase in hashtags used by pro-vape advocates

09:24 PM – 16 Oct 2019

Public Good Projects / Twitter

“Bots are really pretty sophisticated now, compared to 10 years ago,” Allem said. The online world is filled with a bewildering grab bag of vaping stores that automatically post sales announcements, advocates who auto-respond to hashtags, and genuine bots that steadily disperse misinformation, he said, intermingled with real people who turn automatic behavior on and off in random fashion.

Bots “are becoming harder to detect,” he added.

This round in the fight over the future of vaping dates at least back to September 2018, when the FDA, in the largest coordinated investigation in the agency’s history, issued more than 1,300 warning letters and fines to stores that illegally sold Juul and other e-cigarettes to minors during a self-described “nationwide, undercover blitz of brick-and-mortar and online stores.”

A month later, the National Youth Tobacco Survey reported a sudden increase of more than 1.5 million high school and middle school students in the US who had used an e-cigarette in the previous month, taking the total up to 3.6 million people and noting a significant increase in flavored vapes.

“These new data show that America faces an epidemic of youth e-cigarette use, which threatens to engulf a new generation in nicotine addiction,” said Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar in response. Suspicion of fakery in Juul’s marketing campaign, and among purported vaping supporters, emerged from Allem’s 2017 study and a long-standing, merited distrust of the tobacco industry.

Abaca Press / Sipa USA via AP

From left: Melania Trump, Donald Trump, and Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar at a September meeting about vaping.

In the 1950s, tobacco companies settled on the “Doubt is our product” advertising strategy to delay regulation. Over the next four decades, the tobacco industry employed front groups, fake scientists, and lobbyists to sow confusion about the links between tobacco and lung cancer, heart disease, and other deadly illnesses. The World Health Organization has called the industry effort, revealed through lawsuits in the 1990s, “a relentless defence of its economic interests,” that put profits ahead of public health.

The descendants of those same companies are now heavily involved in selling e-cigarettes, with industry leader Juul headed by a CEO, K.C. Crosthwaite, installed last month from Altria (formerly Philip Morris Companies), which owns 35% of the vaping firm. Lobbying efforts like Juul’s “Project Switch” — which sought to connect customers with a public relations firm that specializes in “grassroots” political messaging for business clients to push against a New York state ban — have public health officials suspicious that a history of fake front groups is repeating itself.

Ironically, foes of vaping fans have their own suspicions of fakery. There was a blowup in July 2018 over some 500,000 anti-vaping comments submitted to the public comment section of a proposed FDA “Regulation of Flavors in Tobacco Products” that the pro-vaping website RegulatorWatch decried as “spam,” or fake comments meant to overwhelm the 22,000 pro-vaping comments submitted to the docket.

“The FDA is aware that a number of auto-generated comments were submitted to the docket for the advance notice of proposed rulemaking on flavors in tobacco products,” the FDA’s Stephanie Caccomo told BuzzFeed News by email. “However, as noted on regulations.gov‎, the comment process is not a vote — agencies make determinations for a proposed action based on sound reasoning and scientific evidence.”

I am just one of over 10 million adult smokers who have quit by switching to legal FDA-regulated nicotine e-cigarettes. I plan to attend the first-ever US national Vaping Rally in Washington DC on November 9, 2019.

DO YOU? @LegionVaping @thr4life @Vapingit @whycherrywhy

06:31 PM – 25 Oct 2019

The brawl over whether the support for vaping comes from real people or astroturfing (fake grassroots efforts invented by companies or politicians), looks familiar, drug policy expert Leo Beletsky of Northeastern University told BuzzFeed News. The two sides — public health officials concerned about vaping teens, and ex-smokers scared to death of vaping bans — are talking past each other with language borrowed from the 30-year fight over cigarettes, he said.

“When the conversation shifts to talking about any addictive substance use by teens and kids, we totally lose our minds,” he added.

Congressional hearings about vaping regularly feature laments from lawmaker parents and grandparents about vaping among their offspring, even as public health officials struggle to explain that millions of adults have shifted from smoking with the help of e-cigarettes.

“Really there is no honest conversation going on here,” he said.

Tobacco, abetted by its addictive nicotine ingredient, kills more than 7 million people a year worldwide. On the public health side, e-cigarette firms are investors, owners, or peddlers of that same nicotine, making it easy to see claims by the vaping industry and its fans as just another industry smoke screen for hooking teenagers. Juul’s high-strength nicotine pods — packed with 59 milligrams of nicotine per milliliter, more than 2.5 times stronger than legal limits on nicotine in the United Kingdom — flaunts a strategy of tapering nicotine levels in tobacco products called for by public health researchers to cut teen smoking since 1994.

“Nicotine levels in e-cigarettes are quite harmful to the developing brain, which doesn’t stop developing until age 25,” Anne Schuchat, principal deputy director of the CDC, told reporters in a news briefing on Friday. In a statement on the outbreak, the agency advises former smokers and anyone else addicted to nicotine using e-cigarettes to “consider utilizing FDA-approved nicotine replacement therapies.”

Against this, a few voices have pointed out that banning legal e-cigarettes could drive users back to cigarettes or to the illicit market for vaping liquid, which has already been linked to the deadly outbreak.

“THC is just a proxy for illicit,” said Beletsky. “It’s the illicit part that matters.”

Perhaps in response, the pro-vaping world of social media has been “very combative,” said Allem, who studied sentiments voiced on Twitter about vaping liquids in a 2018 study. He found that most posts were about sales (29%) and flavors (24%). Health risks from nicotine were rarely mentioned (6%) and “Quit Smoking” was almost nonexistent (less than 1%).

Conspiracy theories have also increased along with the combativeness. One popular theory, #MSABloodMoney, references the 1998 Master Settlement Agreement that limited cigarette advertising and steered tobacco industry revenue to states to pay for tobacco-related diseases in perpetuity. The conspiracy theory — which has also been touted by Grover Norquist of Americans for Tax Reform, an anti-tax activist hugely influential within the Republican Party — paints parents and doctors worried about teens vaping as being motivated by greed for cigarette tax revenue.

The government tax collectors make more money on every pack of cigarettes than the farmers, manufacturers, retailers of cigarettes–combined. Of course, the tax and spend liberals want to stop people from moving to vaping. They want your money. Could care less about your health

12:11 PM – 23 Oct 2019

Norquist’s involvement shows how the political side of the #NotABot furor adds to its intensity. In September, the Trump administration shocked the vaping industry by saying it was moving to ban flavored vapes nationwide. “A lot of people think it’s wonderful,” Trump said to reporters. “It’s not a wonderful thing.”

That has led to another hashtag, #WeVapeWeVote, sweeping Twitter amid threats that vaping fans turning against Trump in battleground states such as Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin, per Axios, could cost him the 2020 election. A “WeVapeWeVote” protest took place before a Trump rally in Dallas, and news reports emerged on Friday that the president’s ban was losing steam in the White House, causing him to retreat from a full flavor ban to one that would spare menthol and mint flavors.

The Vapor Technology Association launched an ad campaign this month on Fox News to influence Trump to halt his ban. Sean Hannity vaped on his show in 2017 during a commercial break, and listeners have complained about vaping ads supporting his radio show.

Underneath the fights over vaping on Twitter, there’s little doubt that Juul and its lookalikes are sold by businesses that aim to maximize their sales, health policy expert Kar-Hai Chu of the Center for Research on Media, Technology, and Health told BuzzFeed News. Chu’s research, for example, has found that a quarter of all tweets by Juul were retweeted by teenagers, showing who was targeted in its lifestyle ads. Touted by Instagram and YouTube influencers popular with teens and young adults, Juul’s marketing has cast doubt on its self-proclaimed public health benefits.

“Flavors are what get kids interested in e-cigarettes, a lot of evidence shows,” said Chu, explaining the interest in flavor bans by states.

Rather than an outright ban, said Beletsky, the e-cigarette market requires sensible, nationwide regulation aimed at letting people who genuinely benefit from vaping continue while also curbing teens’ access to the products. Outlawing e-cigarettes will just drive people to the black market.

But he’s not optimistic, he added: “It’s very rare in drug policy where we use a scalpel. Usually we use a wrecking ball.”

CORRECTION

Oct. 29, 2019, at 22:08 PM

The name of the Public Good Projects was misstated in an earlier version of this post.

Sahred From Source link Science

from WordPress http://bit.ly/2BZ9m8v via IFTTT

[waywardtrashwonderland-blog]

how do you stop being jealous of your best friend How to Stop Being Jealous in a Relationship Tips for Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Husbands and Wives, Pa

How to Stop Being Jealous in a Relationship: Tips for Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Husbands and Wives. Feeling jealous when your girlfriend hangs out with her male friends? Feeling insecure of your husband's interaction with his hot secretary at work? Paranoid about your boyfriend's relationship with his so-called best female friend? Jealousy is a human feeling that may be impossible to avoid, but possible to control. If you are jealous for your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife, read on as this post outlines tips on how to stop being jealous in a relationship, followed by a quiz to find out how jealous you are. How to Stop Being Jealous of Your Partner. 1) Don't compare yourself with other people. Jealousy could potentially be stemming from the fact that you are comparing yourself with someone your girlfriend or boyfriend knows or hangs out with. While a little bit of jealousy is considered good for healthy relationships, comparison of self with other people can lead to a downhill spiral. Comparisons can be upsetting, humiliating and may cause a massive dent in self esteem levels. It doesn't matter if you are different from others nor does it matter if you think that your partner's friend is hotter than you. Stop comparing yourself with others because your girlfriend or boyfriend picked you over someone else - Because he/she liked you for who you are. 2) Work on your own self-esteem and self-confidence. Jealousy in a relationship could be a result of low self esteem and self confidence levels. It is human to feel insecure about your partner developing a liking for someone else, especially when your own self esteem levels are low. While there are no overnight fixes on improving self esteem and self confidence, take the first step by believing in yourself for everything that you do. Whether it is cyber bullying, offline bullying, taunts, lack of success or a perceived lack of beauty – Regardless of why you feel low, treat every day like a new beginning and take one step at a time. 3) Don't be a pessimist: Stop thinking about your partner cheating on you. Are you constantly worried that your girlfriend will cheat on you with some guy in her class? Do you get paranoid because you keep thinking about how your wife's boss must be hitting on her? If you are thinking along these lines, address the situation immediately and look for signs of a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend. Once you have done your snooping around, close that chapter and get it over with. Don't get sucked into the whirlpool of negative and pessimistic thoughts about your partner cheating on you. Suspicion can pull you down and lock you in the chains of jealousy forever. Be optimistic and think about the happy things in your relationship rather than worry about things that are simply a figment of your imagination. 4) Keep yourself busy with studies or work. Ever heard the saying, 'An idle mind is a devil's workshop'? Cliché, but true. The easiest way to stop thinking about bad feelings is to keep yourself busy and occupied in things that you like doing. It could be something as simple as reading books, playing ball, watching TV and playing video games or something as intriguing as finishing an incomplete project or getting some work done. Keeping yourself occupied is the best way to keep your mind from going into dangerous waters. If you think you have nothing to do, just think of the things you've been procrastinating. Make a task list and start organizing your life. 5) Remind yourself that jealousy can ruin a relationship. There are some roads in life that seldom lead to anything other than disappointment and in many ways, jealousy is one of them. It can grip your life and drown you in fear, insecurity and paranoia, resulting in frustration and anger. If you really want to stop being jealous in your relationship, you must learn to control your psyche. To do so, you can remind yourself of the trauma you are about to cause to yourself and your partner whenever you feel jealous for him/her. Every time you have a bout of jealousy, remind yourself that you are about to trigger arguments, fights and in worst cases, a break up with your girlfriend, boyfriend or partner. There is a fine line between playful jealousy and something that can wreak havoc. Either way, playing with the feelings of jealousy is like playing with fire – Best avoided! Working With Your Partner to Deal With Jealousy in the Relationship. 1) Tell your partner that you are jealous and ask for a solution. Jealousy is a human feeling and it is absolutely ok to feel jealous for your girlfriend or boyfriend. Don't hesitate to talk it out with your partner. While you do so, ask for a solution and tell you partner that you want to stop the annoying feeling, but simply don't know how to. If your partner really understands you, a warm and loving discussion will likely make headway and help you confront the demons of jealousy. Sometimes, all it needs is dim lights, a glass of wine or a hot cup of cappuccino, and a candid conversation to address a seemingly complicated situation. 2) Make your partner jealous if he/she does not understand your situation. One of the responsibilities that come with being in a relationship or a marriage, is to confront all issues head on. If your partner refuses to acknowledge your insecurities, it may be a good idea to show him/her how it feels to be jealous. This is a delicate trick to play and has the potential for adverse effects. So play a situation out in your head and do some harmless flirting with your or your partner's friends of the opposite sex, while your partner is watching. This should get your partner's attention. Just make sure you don't get carried away and later when you are confronted, tell you partner how you feel exactly the same way. 3) Build trust in your relationship to get over jealousy. Very rarely will there be any relationship guide without the mention of the word, trust. Simply because it is foundation on which all relationships are based on. Once you learn how to build trust in your relationship, it is likely that you will feel less jealous for your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife. 4) Talk it out with a common friend. Do you and your partner have a common bestie? If you do, it may be worth talking it out with him/her. Just make sure that you keep your conversation to-the-point and don't end up revealing too many intimate details of your relationship. Just scratch the surface and ask your friend for his/her opinion. More likely than not, your friend will tell you to relax, calm down, and throw your feelings of jealousy in the bin. Make sure that this is a friend you trust, and not someone who will mock you later on. 5) Meet your partner's friends who make you jealous. Are any of your girlfriend's guy friends making you feel jealous? Is the fact that your boyfriend spending time with his best friend, who is a girl, making your feel insecure? Are your husband's late evenings at work with female colleagues making you paranoid? Is a new guy at your wife's workplace making you feel suspicious? If you nodded along or find yourself in similar situations, meeting that 'person in question' could be the way to stop worrying and putting an end to all the jealousy. You may find that meeting someone in person gives you a better idea of their personality and characteristic traits. So meet your man's female friends or your woman's male friends to put your worries to rest. And if you feel that your jealousy is not baseless, talk to your partner about it.

[russellthornton]

Backup Boyfriend: Are You Her Main Man or Just One of Her Extras?

Got the feeling your partner isn’t ride or die? Here are a few signs you’ll definitely see in your relationship if you’re the backup boyfriend.

I’ve come across lots of different types of girls. And I’ve been in situations where I was being played. I’ve even realized after a relationship ended that I was probably the backup boyfriend.

So, I want to share some insider experience that might help you avoid getting into the same situation.

First, here’s the deal

The feminine are trained from young to covertly play their options. They’ll do this while presenting a Holier Than Thou front. Ask yourself, when’s the last time you read a magazine that gives out dating/seduction tips?

Well, the feminine begin this from absurdly young ages. By comparison, guys are like lambs sent out to slaughter when it comes to the relationship game. Usually, it’s only a very confident male or older experienced guy that has a chance of not being wrapped around the thumb of feminine strategy.

It’s called hypergamy. Hypergamy basically means that the feminine keeps their sexual options open. They do this for obvious reasons: to choose the highest value sexual option available in their life. Sometimes the feminine even wait for that option even if it’s unavailable. [Read: Hypergamy – Motivation for perfection or sexist stupidity?]

Intense realism

Now, I’m not trying to demonize the feminine. I just think it’s essential to be very realistic and non-idealistic if you’re going to avoid becoming the backup boyfriend. Guys are the same in many ways. Guys also go for the most attractive choice they feel they can get.

The difference is, the average girl has FAR more options than the average guy. For this reason, guys need to develop strong skills or ‘game’ to remind their partner of what they would lose. Think about it: would you choose to stay at a lower professional grade? With longer hours and less pay/satisfaction? Would you do it just to not offend your competition?

Well likewise, traits like: height, intelligence, and physical prowess are highly sought after because they are highly inheritable. A girl invests a lot of her life and emotional capital raising offspring. So, she wants to make sure she has the best candidate to provide security, provisions, and good social standing. [Read: 15 things women look for in a man before falling for him]

With that said…

Key – ‘The Talk’

Firstly, is your partner even at this stage where they’re looking for an exclusive relationship? If you haven’t had ‘the talk’, where a decision was made that you two are exclusive, then I’d assume all bets are still on.

‘Sometimes you can meet the right person at the wrong time.’

These were wise words from the sister of one of my ex-girlfriends. There’s no use in denying reality. If your partner’s 18 and going out four nights a week with friends—and drunk texting you—you may be trying to hold onto the wind. [Read: Talking to someone about your relationship – DTR made easy]

The signs you’re the backup boyfriend

Let’s get into the signs…

#1 Does she always seem distracted? I remember being invited to see a play with a girl I’d started hanging with. It seemed like a cool surprise at the time. Sometimes she got free tickets to events because of where she worked. It was a cool play too.

After the show, we talked in the lounge. But I noticed her laughing at things I said that weren’t even remotely funny. Actually, she was barely listening. Distracted. Simply tolerating my company. Then she told me about the guy who gave her the tickets.

She looked around nervously several times. ‘Let’s wait, I want you to meet him,’ she asked me. I suddenly connected the dots. I realized she’d taken me to the play to make him jealous. I got out of there pronto with a slick excuse. Cos’ I don’t play that. [Read: How to be an alpha male: Unleash the irresistible inner you]

#2 Listen to your intuition, bro. The gut has been described as the second brain. This is because it has a strong link to the nervous system. Brain-regulating chemicals dopamine and serotonin are also present in the gut. This link between the gut and brain is why you hear advice like follow your gut.

You may also hear people say they ‘had a gut feeling.’ People have subconscious insights and feel them in their gut. This is the case for both women AND men. So PLEAAASE don’t buy into the fallacy that there is only a woman’s intuition. The feminine often use this as a way of shaming guys for using their common sense.

This shaming convention lets them women away with anything. Guys are discouraged from questioning women’s behaviors. Screw that!

If you suddenly start getting the feeling that she’s not down to ride 100% or something has changed, LISTEN to that feeling. Don’t ignore warning signs that your partner is cheating. [Read: How to tell if your girlfriend is cheating]

#3 Are they not available on the weekends? We typically work Monday to Friday—grinding and outworking the competition. Then… the weekend comes along and we get a respite. When you’re really into someone you can’t wait to spend time with them in your free time.

If your partner’s usually up to other things with other people on the weekend, when you invite them out, you’re probably not up there on their list of priorities. [Read: 10 sure signs the girl you like is just using you]

#4 Are they posting pics with another guy? Sometimes we can be straight up dummies when we’re in love. We see an obvious sign pointing us straight in the face and try to assume the best. No! Assume anything is possible and assess patterns honestly. Being blind to the truth does not help you!

Nor does it make you a good person. It makes you foolish and naïve. If there’s no obvious reason for your partner to have 100 pictures with some guy, or many different guys, then find out what’s happening.

If she’s on a dating site like Tinder or PlentyofFish—smh. Major thumbs down.

#5 Are you always wondering if she’s cheating? Some people will read my advice above *#4* and think I’m promoting paranoia. That’s not what I’m saying. In fact, if you always wonder whether your partner’s cheating then the chance of you becoming the backup boyfriend is way higher.

This is because we naturally find it repulsive when our partner is too needy, suspicious, or insecure. Neediness and insecurity are unhealthy traits. So, if it’s become the norm in how you think then you probably reveal this to your partner in subtle ways.

And you need to do something about it. If they have any sense they’ll want to find a more secure person. So be careful of sabotaging your own relationship. [Read: Sabotaging your happiness – 12 ways you can ruin your life]

#6 Does your partner get emotionally stimulated? When I broke up with one of my long-term exes it was like hitting the eye of a storm… All emotions seemed to drain from her. No reactions. No anger. Just distance and dispassionate disgust. *Disgust is a surprisingly unemotional reaction, psychologically speaking—it’s how the Nazi’s rationalized their discrimination*.

Anger, frustration, desire, joy—the full gamut of passionate emotions by your partner towards you are great, great signs of emotional investment in you. They mean that what you do or don’t do really matters to your partner. You are a priority. If you don’t trigger this emotional stimulation, it may mean someone else matters far more, if you catch my drift.

#7 Do they test you? I appreciate good competitive banter. I didn’t always used to see it that way though. This was because I didn’t understand that being challenged by my partner was a positive thing. It was her attempt to allow me to show her that I was The Man through my solid reactions.

It was also a great indicator of long-term emotional interest. Think about it this way: if you have a good investment you want to protect it. The feminine is designed to poke and prod at the masculine to ensure its integrity. In my opinion, if they don’t seem to care about how solid you are this is not a good sign. [Read: Shit test – What it is and how to successfully pass them all]

#8 Do they act ninja with their phone? If a girl I’m seeing starts to act covertly with her phone, my suspicions glow. Now, I can’t prove this sign is bad but you’d need to be a moron to not consider it as a potential warning sign. Look, if someone behaves like they got something to hide then maybe they do.

#9 Do their behaviors say something else? That last point leads me to this subheading. This one’s so key that I want to write this whole section in ALL CAPS. But I won’t cos I love you…

People will talk a good game just to get their way. I can’t begin to tell you how naïve I was to this fact as a kid/young adult. Now however, I take it as a service to #self-respect and #truth to watch how someone is actually behaving separate from their words.

If you’re very agreeable in your personality, then you may be more vulnerable to verbal deception. You probably don’t want to be accused of being an asshole. Screw that! Every guy needs to know how important it is to clock behaviors over words. And the feminine is notorious for saying one thing and doing another. It’s called ‘a woman’s prerogative.’

Problem is, this society celebrates that lack of responsibility. It becomes a woman’s suit of armor to say one thing and act another way. It’s like saying ‘I will deceive you, but this is my right.’ This is partly because psychologically truth, for a woman, depends on how they feel in the moment. Rather than the reality of facts. [Read: What is benching? 17 signs you’re being strung along right now]

This goes deep. For example, she may have another guy but feel justified deep in her belly. So, to her, she’s doing nothing wrong. Your job is to separate her words from her behaviors and judge her based mainly on this. Ignore this fundamental rule at your own peril. [Read: Be careful who you trust: How to beware of backstabbers]

#10 Do their friends act strange around you? If your partner’s friends act weird around you, watch out, for example, if they seem guilty, awkward, or dismissive when they meet you. The feminine talk and gossip a lot. In detail. They might know something about your partner’s love life that you don’t.

[Read: 15 signs a girl is leading you on and taking you nowhere]

The feminine can feel justified to have multiple partners or options for lots of reasons. Your best weapon is to cultivate strong pure awareness to reality and don’t end up being the backup boyfriend.

The post Backup Boyfriend: Are You Her Main Man or Just One of Her Extras? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.