#<- if you'd like more tw please ask <3 but pls dont ask/tag this as fatphobia

[dragpinkman]

i dont really mind being called fat at this point in my life but i do feel like a lot of skinny people think that's what fatphobia is so it doesn't seem like a big deal. its hard to explain that its in EVERY way im treated, i would just like to be treated the same. at my lowest weight people would look me in the eyes, strangers would compliment my clothes (the same style i had when i was heavier), customers would treat me nicer, people at school would talk to me. now that im not that weight anymore it really hits harder how little human decency im given, i had a taste of how thinner people are treated. when i went in to doctors offices with more vitamin deficiencies and stomach issues than i had the year before at a higher weight and i got praise. they actually listened to my concerns this time and didn't just tell me to lose weight and thats when i found out I had celiac. i had been complaining about chronic pain for 10 years and no one thought to look or do anything more than tell me to lose some weight. not only that, i had lost a very alarming amount of weight in months and my doctor told me she was proud; i had every obvious sign of an eating disorder down to weighing everything i ate and i only got compliments. not only medically and socially but romantically i got asked out twice that year and its the last time i remember being called pretty by a stranger. its the last time someone random has complimented my makeup. it really makes you feel like an alien, like you can't be loved just because you arent a size 4. :/