#<- guy so fucked up that being eaten by a whale somehow makes him better and not worse

[fishofthewoods]

and like just to be clear i dont mean that it accurately represents jay and mitt but i think jay Thinks it does pre-whale. and he is such an unreliable narrator. and that's what makes it fun

wait why is dear wormwood by the oh hellos kind of whalefall coded. Like the Sleep scene as an animatic set to dear wormwood.... that would kind of fuck nasty.

[kkusuka]

I can see Bokuto, Tendou, Atsumu, and Kuroo asking their thicc gf to sit on their face. She’s like “No, I don’t wanna crush you 😰” but these guys would boldly be like “If I die, I die. My face is your throne so park yourself right there! 😤”

I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS EARLIER IM SORRY

imma start this with the fact that these men with love you whether you’re a skeleton or as big as a whale. you are beautiful and deserve to be eaten like the queen you are. <3

Bokuto Koutarou

oh boy, once bokuto puts his mind to something

he does everything in his power to make it happen, and he gives 100%

And he takes no self-hating

Any insecurity you've opened up to him about have been squashed within hours of even speaking of them

So bokuto eats you out whenever he can but usually, it's with you laying down and him on his stomach

To be honest you were nervous to even put some of your weight on him

You knew he was strong but you always tell yourself about “he can only hold so much” which is a total lie

So when he just stopped fucking you and layed on his back, tapping your thigh with a big grin, you knew what was going to happen

“Babe! Sit on ma’ face!” he didn't even wait for an answer before he just *tried* pulled you onto him

“Noo, kou, I’m too heavy, it’ll hurt”

He takes none of that, you barely got the words out of your mouth before you were on his face

“nope, your thighs are way to soft for you to be worried about crushing me”

que the small rugs away from him

“plus even if you did suffocate me it would be a noble death”

and that was the last time you protested his demands of facesitting

Tendou Satori

another insecurity crusher

he knows how it feels to not be happy with how you look

satori takes no y/n slander in this house

when you told him you didn’t want to sit on his face he was confused

he had picked you up before!

you were fine

(and he could sit in between  your thighs forever)

so he didn’t expect you to push him away when he hit you with the “hey babe, your thighs my face? I think it’s a date.”

That's was new, and he didn't like it

Not one bit

So he turns and gives you a big cuddly hug!

And he stays there for a bit before telling you how beautiful you are

If that is the gods want him to die between your thighs then that's what’ll happen

And that he will not be mad if he dies like that

And if you're up for it-

He would like to test that theory ;)

Atsumu Miya  

For starters, atsumu eats you out to make himself feel better about how good he makes you feel

That being said

He wants a s/o that is just as perfect as him and that brings a lot of doubt to mainly your appearance

Of course, atsumu always makes sure to tell you just how beautiful you are

And all the time too

But sometimes your insecurities come out at the worst times

Like right now

Usually your good with whatever

But today something snapped when atsumu asked you to sit on his face

(it didn't help that you guys just went shopping and saw all the ridiculously skinny models at victoria secret)

You didn't know what came over you to deny the request and follow it up with an “I’m too heavy ‘tsumu”

Aw Naw

Not in this house

He ain't playing these games

And in true ‘tsumu fashion, he begins a speech about how perfect you are and how you should never feel bad about how you look because everyone's else is just lucky to be in your presence

Ending the fifteen-minute speech was:

“And you aren't even that heavy! Plus sometimes I do think about suffocating in your thighs! Is that so bad? They're so soft and perfect! The best way to die! And I would let it happen, volleyball to hell! I want to hear no more of this and get on my face now!”

Believe it or not, you didn't have many complaints about your weight after that

Kuroo Tetsurou

This man is insatiable

He does it to relax, so he saw no problem in doing it from a different angle

But just him seeing you from that angle and all of your weight on his face was scary!

You didn't even need to say anything before he was telling you how beautiful you are

The good ole “babe you're the hottest person on the planet”

He somehow got you onto him but once you saw the indent of his head in the pillow you tried to slither away

Needless to say, he didn't let you

And you began to panic

He could see the little fall of your belly and your double chin!

Fortunately, he started to moan out how lovely you looked from this angle and you don't really think when he’s sucking on your clit

After when the two of you were laying down, beat

Kuroo’s after sex thoughts came pouring out

“Y’know suffocating in your pussy doesn't sound that bad! Thighs squeezing my head and hands in my hair yup sounds perfect! Well if it’s yours, only yours tho-”

“Oh my god, Tetsu! Shut up!”

[feederfiction]

Build-a-Butt | 1

Matt gazed around the packed club and stirred his drink slowly. He didn’t particularly feel like being there but his friends had convinced him to come out to drinks after work, and then clubbing. Watching them dance and flirt with each other, he now realised that he had been an excuse for Jayce to subtly get Richard into bed with him. Matt’s belly growled and he realised he hadn’t eaten since lunchtime. Finishing the rest of his beer, he walked out of the club and into the cold night air.

Exiting the club, Matt felt self-conscious once again. His 100 kilo frame seemed massive in comparison to the line of twinks and muscleheaded gym gays waiting in line. Pulling his sweater on after escaping the stifling club heat, he felt his shirt untuck and reveal the bottom of a  pale, flabby belly. Hearing giggles from next to him, he turned to see a group of bleach-blonde skinny guys laughing and filming him. Blushing brightly, he hurried away, one arm and his head still trapped in his sweater. Rounding the corner into the laneway next to the club, he finally got his arm in, only to thrust it out and into someone next to him.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, are you alright?” He asked.

Concerned for the stranger who was now coughing on the ground, he offered his hand to the man, who eventually looked up at Matt and took his help. Matt was stunned at the attractive stranger who was now nose to nose with him. His bright blue eyes shone in the dark alleyway, a pained smile on his face. He was the polar opposite of Matt in appearance. Tight chinos and an XS button up, showing off his trim waist and toned arms, the top three buttons undone to show off his trimmed chest hair. His sharp jawline punctuated by perfect stubble, and a trendy blonde undercut pulled off a very metrosexual, attractive guy.

Matt, on the other hand was on the border of “chubby”, leaning more towards “fat”. His belly pushed out against his shirts and he had gone up 2 sizes in as many years. Ever since leaving university and getting a job as an accountant, he had found it impossible to stop the weight piling on. His polo shirt, sweater and jeans made him feel self-conscious before this well dressed stranger. It took him several seconds to register that the man had introduced himself.

“Are you alright? I thought I was the one that took a punch” The stranger laughed.

“Sorry, I was just…worried. I’m fine, are you Matt?” He said, shakily, then winced, realising his minced words.

“I’m all good, you don’t need to worry.” He said kindly. “And I’m Lucas.”

“Nice…” Matt trailed off.

“I was just about to grab a snack and head off, my friends bailed early tonight. Wanna join?” Lucas offered.

“Same here actually, what do you feel like?” Matt asked tentatively, half expecting him to reply with-

“Pizza! I need carbs bad after tonight.” Lucas replied.

“Sounds like a plan, I’m starved” Matt exclaimed, unable to believe he was about to eat with a guy as hot as Lucas.

After making their way to the closest Pizza Place, they each picked out an extra large deep dish. 3 slices in, Lucas passed his over to Matt, who promptly finished both. Groaning with the weight of both meals in his gut, Matt belched loudly.

“Sounds like you needed all that” Lucas smiled, offering his hand to the bloated accountant. “At least now I have a chance to help you up”.

“Thanks, I appreciate it! I think it’s about time I head off though, I can barely walk” Matt said sheepishly.

“I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I didn’t help you home after you so gallantly finished my meal.” Lucas said in a posh accent.

“That was the worst British accent I’ve ever heard but I won’t say no to some help” Matt agreed.

After an uncomfortable Uber ride, in which every bump and pothole made Matts bloated belly bounce, they eventually reached his apartment building, and with some help from Lucas, he managed to make it to his door. Matt kept expecting Lucas to leave him, after the Uber ride, after they got to his building’s lobby, the front door, but his handsome friend kept his arm around Matt’s waist, guiding him into his room and onto his bed.

“Well… I should probably leave you be…” Lucas said, staring at Matt.

“You don’t have to!” He replied, a little too quickly. “You could uh, take the couch, or I could?”

Smiling, Lucas began unbuttoning his shirt, before tossing it aside, to reveal his toned, hairy chest, and sidling up to Matt on the bed. Moving his hand up under the polo, he began to rub Matt’s belly in circles, causing him to moan softly. After some time, Lucas pulled off Matt’s shirt and sweater, and released his belt, eliciting a grateful sigh from the stuffed man. Shimmying closer to Matt, Lucas smiled sadly.

“What?” Matt frowned.

“I have a confession to make, and it’s kind of awkward. I should have been more forward but I was nervous.” Lucas admitted shyly.

“Um, well… What is it?” Matt asked cautiously.

“I have a thing for uh… Fat guys.” He said slowly, then started to panic. “I know it sounds weird and like I think you’re gorgeous but I don’t want you to think I’m a creep or-“

Matt leaned over and kissed Lucas passionately. Lucas hesitating before leaning into the intimate act, their tongues dancing, hands groping and bodies grinding. A minute later, the two were fully naked, Matt’s pale, jiggly body a direct contrast to Lucas’ toned, tanned and hairy one. The two stayed locked like that for some time, occasionally kissing each other’s necks, their cocks rubbing together. Lucas broke away and smiled devilishly before making his way south. Once he was positioned over Matt’s manhood, he began to pleasure the larger man in ways he’d never experienced. Working the shaft, Lucas felt Matt was already close, and pulled off, making his big man whine slightly.

“Don’t worry, I have something better planned.” Lucas reassured.

Flipping Matt onto his stomach like a beached whale, Lucas licked his lips and whispered “Fuck” under his breath at the sight of Matt’s wide ass. Parting his cheeks, Lucas dived in, his tongue exploring Matt’s tight pucker. Matt had never been eaten out in his life, and it was the most amazing feeling he’d ever experienced. His eyes crossed and he felt his hole relax under Lucas’ trained mouth. Matt then felt Lucas go even further and moaned loudly, unable to believe how good it felt. Lucas then started to grab Matt’s love handles and slap his ass randomly, which prompted Matt to grind his erection into the bed below.

A few moments later he felt Lucas go deeper again, and his hole stretch. At this point Lucas was grabbing his meaty thighs and squeezing, adding to the pleasure of the act, and making Matt’s whole body jiggle wildly on the bed. It wasn’t until he felt his stomach begin to push down into the bed too that he looked back and saw Lucas’ ass and legs twitching from out of his ass. Stifling a scream, Matt tried to reach back to help him out, but the shift of weight only pulled Lucas in further, his bubble butt slipping down, quickly followed by his legs moments later. Feeling Lucas struggling in his belly, Matt tried to pull himself up, but the extra 80 kilos now settling in his gut threw his balance off and it took some time for him to turn himself over, his massively engorged belly now preventing him from reaching his own ass to try and help Lucas. In a state of shock, Matt didn’t know what else to do but cry. He sobbed as the struggling in his boulder sized stomach slowed and eventually stopped. Matt eventually fell asleep from the combination exhaustion of devouring another human, and that person having been someone who cared for him.

 -----

As the first rays of light shone through the blinds in Matt’s bedroom, it was evident he had gone through some changes during his sleep. Matt snored on though until past midday, his digestion requiring more energy. As he groggily woke, he slowly remembered last night and looked down at his belly in shock. What he saw confused him, however, as his midsection looked much fatter, but nowhere near as big as it was last night. Assuming it had all been a very confusing nightmare, he was suddenly shocked into reality by the sight of Lucas’ clothes on the floor. Pulling his much heavier body up with some difficulty, he lumbered over to his full length mirror and was stunned at what he saw.

Where before Matt had been a slightly overweight late 20’s desk jockey, he now looked positively obese. His whole body had thickened up, from his arms to his love handles. His slightly fleshy chest had rounded out into two soft moobs, with bottle cap sized nipples topping them, hard and pink. His belly had truly fattened up, now much larger and softer, jiggling crazily at the bottom of his overhang, his now smaller cock almost obscured from view. His pelvis too had grown to fat that his previously 4” flaccid penis was now barely 3” long, buried as it was. His love handles now resembled small bellies on his side, each bowing out half a foot from his ribs and sagging down to his thighs, which were like huge hams that supported his torso with ease, despite their softness. Turning slowly he noticed the biggest change of all though. His previously flat ass was now massively inflated. In fact it was obscene just how huge his rear had grown. Each cheek was the size of a soccer ball. Huge and bouncy, but somehow still tight and resembling a bubble butt, much like the one Lucas had, Matt mused.

After the initial shock of how fat he had gotten, Matt noticed other changes. He was now several shades darker than his previously pale skin tone. On top of that, he saw that he was hairier all over. His legs were covered in a thicker layer, while his belly and chest had a short but full layer over them, making his body more masculine in appearance. Matt had never been able to grow much more than patchy stubble, but now he had a five o’clock shadow across his jaw and cheeks, both of which had filled in more with the absorption of Lucas. Matt grabbed his ass with both hands and shook it, his sadness pierced with a thought. Something horrible and yet right at the same time.

He wanted more.

[ramblinganthropologist]

Inktober Day 12 - Whale

Summary: You don’t die in the void of space and come out ok. Alistair’s trying to get better, but it’s hard to face those kinds of demons alone. Luckily, he isn’t, and his backup has snacks.

---

“Commander Shepard, your heart rate is abnormal. Are you experiencing distress?”

“No... I'm fine, EDI.”

Alistair Shepard was very much not fine, and he wasn't doing well at hiding it. It had to be bad if EDI had picked it up. Maybe she had a code embedded in her – check on Shepard if he started freaking the fuck out? Not because the Illusive Man cared or anything, but it would have been a decent way to protect his investment. Wasn't that called ROI or something?

He was a marine, not an... investment guy? He knew tech and bodies, not credits. If it bled or sparked, sure. Otherwise, no thanks.

Still, he had to admit that the glowing blue orb popping up off to the side of the viewing window was a comfort. An annoying comfort, but it helped him to focus on something else. Of course, that was against the point of what he was trying to do, so... maybe it wasn't helpful at all.

Short term benefit, long term hindrance.

To anyone passing by the observation area of the crew deck, it probably looked like Commander Shepard wasn't doing anything at all if they happened to see him. He was just sitting there, motionless, staring out the large window that looked out into the vast expanse of space. Countless stars speckled in the distance, and planets twirled on their axes beyond where he could see. He knew they were there, massive, but right then they were darkness and dots.

Dots... swallowed up by the black void.

He swallowed hard as cold sweat ran down his brow and into the collar of his shirt. Then he wrapped his arms around his knees, squeezing hard as he rested his chin against the top. He could still see out the window, but if he wanted to he could hide his face in his pants. However, that wasn't the point.

The last time he had done this, he had managed a straight minute. Now he was working on three.

“You have three new emails, one from-”

Alistair shook his head as he caught EDI's motion out of the corner of his repaired eye. “I'll check it in a few minutes, EDI. Could you please give me some alone time, though? It's hard to focus if there's somebody around.”

Of course, EDI wasn't really a 'somebody' and that was only partially because she didn't have a body to some from. Well, technically he was in her body – she was the Normandy after all. Did that technically count as vore? That thought made him shake his head, though. Talk about trying to think about anything else but the elephant in the room. Though, given the size of what was scaring the shit out of him, maybe it was more of a whale. A blue whale, maybe. Though were pretty big.

Thankfully, the AI blinked out of view after he asked. That left Alistair alone in the half darkness, staring out the window. Sweat still trickled down the back of his neck, and after a few more moments, it was too much. He buried his face into his knees and breathed hard.

The time on his omni-tool would record it as two minutes, forty-five seconds. A new record, but maybe not the greatest achievement for somebody who was supposed to be a space marine. After all, space walks were still a thing.

He just sat there for a while, curled up like a turtle in its shell, waiting for his heart to finish racing. Even though he couldn't see it, it was still there. Space was all around him, and all that separated him from the void was a bit of metal and some glass. It wouldn't take all that much to crack either and then...

Alistair swallowed hard, mouth and throat suddenly as dry as the deserts of Tuchanka. If anything, his heart started going faster if he thought back. Of course, one he started he couldn't stop. Even with his eyes closed, he could see it clearly. Explosions set against the bleak nothingness of space, debris flying among the stars as the melted remains of the Normandy floated out of sight. Floating because he was in the same state – cast adrift in the stars, running out of oxygen and time at the same time.

And then... he died.

He fucking died.

Maybe it was a good thing his heart was racing so fast, otherwise he wouldn't have believed it was beating at all. In fact, it was still hard to believe he was back on his feet at all. Tubes and meat, that's what they had described him as. And now he was whole again, half metal half man,  face buried in his kneecaps.

Time passed – he wasn't sure how much. Maybe it was seconds, maybe it was hours. It was hard to tell in those moments. All that really mattered was the dark sensation crushing him like gravity and space itself, making it hard to breathe or speak. His mind couldn't even race. It was just stuck there, like he was dead all over again.

Maybe the 2:45 hadn't been worth it.

He would have stayed like that, but something entered his orbit. A solid thump shook the step he was on with quite a bit of heft behind it. A plastic bag shook as someone dug around in it, bringing up the smell of chicken and breading. Space didn't smell like chicken.

“That AI is starting to piss me off.”

Bo did, though.

Alistair managed to peek out from his pants. Next to him, eating from a massive bag of dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, was his XO. Bo Peep Shepard just kept eating, eyes focused on the window in front of her. She could look at it without sweating – he envied that.

Without him asking, she pushed a button and the window's view was cut off by a thick frame. For the first time since he had entered the observation deck, he could breathe. It wasn't perfect, but it was a hell of a lot better than it had been a few minutes ago.

“Thanks.”

“It was giving me a headache.” She tossed a thin tube at him: his emergency supply of energy. Really, it was just green fun dip, but that didn't sound as good. “If you pass out I'm not picking you up.”

Alistair swallowed a quarter of the tube in one go. Almost immediately, the sugar went to work. His brain started to function a little better, and the numbness in his lips that he hadn't even noticed started to go away. Somehow without realizing his blood sugar had started to drop. Actually... when was the last time he had eaten?

Shit...

He rolled the tube between his hands, not looking at Bo as he did so. “Sorry.”

There were a lot of things to apologize for, dying in front of her probably being at the top of the list. The rest was pretty big too: sorry for bringing you on a Cerberus ship when you were having fun wrestling, sorry that you had to come find me. Basically, sorry for existing. But if he said that she'd hit him, and his reconstructed body wasn't adjusted to her punches yet.

She scowled at him. “Don't start that shit. Besides, I already covered the window in your room. What kind of dumbass puts a skylight there anyway?”

Alistair shrugged as he finished off the tube in one long swallow. The sugar burned in his mouth, but it did wonders for his low blood sugar. He was slowly returning to his right mind, which reminded him he needed to fucking eat something other than fun dip. After this, it was definitely dinner time. Or maybe it was breakfast... time was weird in space.

“Thanks.”

“I said don't start.” Bo frowned as she dug deeper into her bag of nuggets, eventually pulling one out that clearly offended her. “What the hell? Why is there a whale in the dinosaur bag?”

Really, it looked more like a blob than a whale. Maybe it was supposed to be some sort of water lizard, but the machine that had formed it hadn't gotten the message. Still, the sight of it made Alistair chuckle for some weird reason as he reached out to take it from her.

“Don't know, but I'll deal with it for you.” Down the hatch it went. “There. Now you just have dinosaurs again.”

It was worth the sour look he got. Alistair found himself chuckling for the first time in days as he watched Bo pull a face at him. Maybe it was the sugar working. Or maybe it was the fact she had come at all. He very much doubted EDI had anything do with it at all. After all, she knew better than to bother the biotic.

Still, he'd let her have her cover. She covered him in more ways than one. And he was grateful for that as he looked over to the closed window. Maybe one day he would be able to look at it longer. Until then he at least had someone to lean back on.

Though, if he tried to take another nugget– even a whale one – she would probably knock him into next week. Never mess with a biotic and their food source.

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching Thin Ice for the first time

(It’s quite late, I know, and I’ve been seeing images and gifs and whatnot on Tumblr, but nothing too spoilery.)

(By the way this episode apparently features Twelve in a top hat and OH BOY AIN’T THAT DAPPER)

Everyone’s probably already watched this one - or rather, I got behind schedule because of things - but anyway

OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING

-*episode starts*  Elephant: hhHUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRR  Me: ...wut

-Shouldn’t Bill be shivering

-I feel kinda sorry that Bill is worrying about slavery still being a thing at that time period...

-But seriously how are none of them shivering yet, okay forget the Doctor, he’s wearing multiple jackets and he’s a Timelord but Bill is in a freaking tank top, how the hell is she not freezing yet

Time Wars: The Smaug Awakens

-Yay, sea.. beast... water... dragon... thing!!

-...Who apparently eats a shoe

-So is it just me or did the title sequence turn a tiny bit bluer

YA he dapper

-But really, I don’t think Nine or Ten or Eleven would’ve bothered to change outfits unless it was so cold that a thick coat was a must.

-Not that I’m complaining. I’m digging that outfit of his.

DOUBLE DAPPER WITH FEATHERS ON THE SIDE

wtf

No shit, there’s like a bunch of life forms outside aka people and animals and fish (probably)

“Your friend, Pete. He was standing there a moment ago, but he stepped on a butterfly and now you don't even remember him.” Twelve upped his humor game

-But really, huge thumbs up for whoever designed the outfits for this episode

It was at this point that I had to look up the transcripts for the episode.

-Okay, so baked chestnuts are eaten in the West as well, but tell me, do they boil them with rice? Do they have chestnut rice as well?

-”Is that what you said to Pete?”  “Who’s Pete?”  I’m not even sure if he’s messing with her or if he really forgot and I love it.

I’m awwing like mad and I don’t even know who I am awwing at - Twelve, or the girl.

YIKES

-Sheep hearts... Okay...  ew.

-Tbh at first I thought it was rat meat

-”It’s not wrestling unless it’s in zero gravity”  What even

-That sword act looks painful.

-At first I thought Bill was worried about the wrestling guys but then she was like “GET IIINNNN”

-”Bit more black than they show in the movies.”  “So was Jesus. History’s a whitewash.”  THANK YOU

-Although this makes me wonder if the Doctor was around when Jesus happened, if he did happen. We’ll have to stay on guessing level because otherwise it’s gonna be the most controversial episode ever.

-Damn Bill’s a good bowler.

-HE GOT THE HAT BACK

-Doctor what are you doing like seriously

-What happened to your mental age

-Alright okay so you can steal...

-Why are drunkards always wrestling?

-OH SHIT

-”He’s small and brown and ever so soft.”   Haha...

-TF do they want with the sonic screwdriver

-You don’t even know how to use it

-His name’s Spider?

-Her name’s Kitty?!

-the fuck happened

-”Have you ever killed anyone?”

Okay, the conversation was getting very dangerous already, but I think that crossed the line. I’m not saying Bill did anything wrong, but as a third person viewer who is aware of the context this hurts me a lot.

-Like, If you knew what happened to the Doctor, you wouldn’t be able to say such things as easily.

-”That’s not what I asked!”  I’m getting Clara vibes.

-”I’m 2000 years old and I’ve never had the time for the luxury of outrage.”  Have you?

-I guess it’s a choice of words and maybe I’m missing something but you were outraged plenty of times.

-Maybe he meant a different sort of outrage from what I’m thinking

-That was confusing and unfruitful

Aww it’s the girl from earlier on

-The Doctor hid pies in his hat?

awww

-”I was being all ‘down with the kids’ there, did you notice?”  “Yeah, my hair was cringing.”  OMFG

-First off, no one introduce him to memes, NO ONE, and second, series 10 has some pure gold dialogue.

-HER HAIR WAS CRINGING

-WHY DO I KNOW THAT FEELING SO WELL

-”Please stop.”

-Where the hell did he get those old fashioned diving suits from

“ 🎵 🎶 Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, 🎵 🎶 swimming, swimming, swimming... 🎵 🎶 ”

-”I can speak whale!”

-That’s a hell of a burp.

i’m dying’

-POOR GUY IS SO SHOCKED OMFG

-bILL JUST ATE GLOWING FISH PIE

-”We’re stood by the docks and you just asked me if I’ve ever seen a man with a tattoo of a ship.” ... HA

-Dredge: to remove unwanted things from the bottom of a river, lake, etc. using a boat or special device

-Return if the psychic paper!

-wtf kind of name is Sutcliffe

-What ARE the bricks made up of?!

-”But you can’t help it because you’re a man of intelligence.”  Damn that’s some smooth talking there

-But even if the Doctor was smooth-talking, I’m glad he made someone happy

-And I thought the Doctor was 24/7 tactless

“NO SH--”

-EVERYONE  BBC JUST WENT THERE  SOMEONE (ALMOST) SAID SHIT IN DOCTOR WHO  LITERALLY

-NO SHIT INDEED

-SOME MASTERFUL SCENE CUTTING RIGHT THERE

Is it just me or does he look like Tarkin from Star Wars

-”Doctor Disco from the Fairford club!”  *series 9 flashbacks*  boi

‘wow, racist much?’

BAM

-”Reason wins.”

-so THAT was the scene from the trailer ��well anyway THANK YOU A LOT

love how he always makes a point of his hand being hurt after punching someone

-Also, I had to look up the ‘Victory to the Daleks’ episode for that screenshot, and in the process I also procured this piece of gold:

...and a lot of nostalgia.

-To get back to the episode...

-Well, shit. They got themselves tied up again.

-I don’t like the blue coat guy.

Okay, I hate him. He’s a dick.

-YOU’RE A DICK, BLUE COAT GUY. A DICK, D’YOU HEAR?!

-No offense to genitals everywhere, y’all are better than him

-”It’s enough to move anyone... with an ounce of compassion. Except me because I’m a heartless cold blooded bitch.”

-”Don’t be smug, smug belongs to me.”  Hahaha!

-Oh so that’s how ‘awry’ is pronounced. I thought it rhymed with ‘Rory’.

-Didn’t mean to cause flashbacks there...

No, it’s called being a dirty little dickenshit.

My throat hurts just by watching this

-I’m... not too sad that the guy died. But at least they’re free.

Aww I love Bill being friends with the kids

-Hahaha fuck you blue coat guy

-Hahaha fuck you blue coat guy (x2)

-Did the Doctor somehow change the location of the explosives?

-Holy shit he did

He did it!

-He went down there and relocated the explosives!

-WOOHOO TWELFTH DOCTOR’S THEME!

-Hahaha fuck you blue coat guy (x3)

-”What if she, like, doomed Greenland?”  But hardly no one lives there...?

-YAY FOR GIANT FISH THING!

wut

-I’m being stupid here but I can’t tell if he’s trying to erase it or scrape it off

YAY FOR THE KIDS!

what the fuck is that giant coconut Wilson

-Ah, so he was erasing that after all.

-”There you go, there’s your tea, why are you dressed in period clothes?”

Is that like the Doctor Who version of Google or something

-Also, quite impressed that she didn’t lose her phone during all this.  Or maybe she just left it in the Tardis.

HA

-”I’m drinking my tea, in my specially chosen tea clothes.”

-Yay, the children!

DAFUQ

-I WAS HAVING A MIGHTY FINE TIME ENJOYING THIS LIL EPISODE AN’ I DON’T NEED YA MOFFAT AN’ CREW TO RUIN THIS TRYINA GET ME SCARED OF SOME KNOCKIN’ NOISES EVEN MORE THAN I ALREADY AM

-At least it wasn’t four knocks.

-But who’s behind the doors?!

-oh shit?!?!?!?!?!?!

-what the fuck?!?!

-THE FUCKING NEXT EPISODE TRAILER

-I’m screwed.

-Also, as you would have noticed, I found that I can turn on the captions for some of the newer episodes where I watch them. So, I’m gonna make use of that for my screencapping conveniences.