#<- girl who says caffeine doesn’t effect me lol!!!1!1!1

[dreamwinged]

i keep trying to drink coffee and ignoring the many signs that i’m supposed to be a matcha girl

[purplesurveys]

1085

survey by -egocentricity-

On Myspace, what was in the last bulletin you posted? I haven’t been on Myspace for well over a decade; and even when I was there I didn’t have any friends added nor did I remember ever posting anything. Friendster and Multiply were a lot more popular.

When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? I took a selfie last Saturday in the dining room. It’s of me holding up the vape pen that Andi lent me for the meantime to show Angela, since she wanted to see what it looked like.

Have you ever been scolded by a mall cop? I remember being lightly chided once when I was like, 7 – I was leaning on a glass wall of a store in the mall, so the guard from that store nicely told me to get back up to be safe. Overall, I don’t think I’ve ever exhibited behavior in public that should’ve gotten me into trouble.

How often do you catch yourself daydreaming? Definitely not so much these days. I need to keep being preoccupied with work or other things to do/accomplish since my daydreaming always seems to end with thinking of scenarios that now upset me, like, idk, happier times with my ex. I’m tired of letting that happen and always being upset in the end, so I try to avoid getting lost in my thoughts anymore.

What's your favorite thing to think about as you're falling asleep? Idk about you but thinking in general keeps my mind up and racing lol, so when I’m trying to sleep I do my best to black out my mind so that I can doze off.

Is there anything that you want to do, but won't because you're too afraid? So I went to college with this girl - I believe she’s several batches older - who, as soon as she graduated, set out on a hitchhiking journey across the world. She’s been doing it for four years, and I believe she has finally made it to Europe after being stuck in Kazakhstan for a year due to Covid. She’s amazing and her spirit is so fucking beautiful. She has a Facebook page that I actively follow detailing her experiences; but as great as her journey has been, I don’t know and I highly doubt that I can set out for such a demanding, commitment-heavy challenge myself.

Who was the last person to yell at you? My mom is the only person who does that, but she hasn’t done so in a while.

Who gets up the earliest in your household? The latest? My dad, since his work starts the earliest. I will sometimes hear the car engine purring by 5:45 AM. The latest would be my sister, since she stays up the latest as well. I think she’s up by 8 AM, but she doesn’t show up outside of her bedroom until 10 or 11.

Have you ever had a pet walk across your keyboard while you were typing? No, and I am glad that’s the case because both of my dogs are too big and I fear that they could actually snap my laptop in half.

What political issues do you think deserve less attention/worry? No political issue deserves any less attention than others. Political issues always mean that someone is on the losing end and I don’t think it’s fair to compare and decide which ones can be put on the backseat. 

Anyway, I do believe it’s not so much the issues that should be compared, but the people in politics who are given the spotlight. Here in the Philippines especially, a lot of celebrities want to have their own political careers (and usually win a seat) despite their zero experience and the media gobbles that shit up all the time, which is disgusting. Related to this, I hope the media makes a consicous effort to wipe Trump out of the headlines once he’s out of office.

Which political issues are you most passionate about? I dunno if I can measure that since I’m pretty vocal about a lot of things. What I can tell you is that in the political issues I have a say in, I always side with the marginalized and the oppressed. IPs, POC, LGBTQ+, immigrants, factory workers, jeepney drivers, contractualized employees, activists, student-activists...my heart has always been with them and their cause.

You're going to your favorite foreign country; what landmarks do you go see? I’m not sure if I have a favorite country, but I’m very picky about landmarks in general anyway. I’d rather experience the local life and eat at smaller local places and go to lesser-known beaches and stuff.

What is the longest amount of time that you have spent away from your home? A little longer than a week, and this was usually when I traveled abroad.

Did the last movie you watched have any emotional effect on you? Yeah, so much so that I was unable to finish it and I had to show up at dinner while still fresh from crying.

What motivates you to go to school? Not applicable to me anymore, but I suppose this can be easily rephrased to mean work. Honestly, my main motivation is the desire to have a perfect record at work lol. I’m super neurotic about this and I hate the idea of being absent or late. Money comes second; I rarely buy stuff for myself so I mostly don’t even realize the money coming in to my account every two weeks. Then third is the desire to be good at my job because I do want to get promoted and rack up more positions as I go along.

How much caffeine have you consumed in one day? The most cups of coffee I’ve had in one day is 3, and that was not an enjoyable experience ha. Right now, I’m on my first cup of coffee.

Are you more hyper and up-tight, or laid back and relaxed? I guess it depends on the situation. I can definitely exhibit either, but my behavior will vary based on the people I’m with and/or how comfortable I am in a certain situation.

When was the last time you heard someone talking about you? Around a week ago. My parents were having dinner separately and I heard my name being mentioned in a few sentences.

How did you pick out your last outfit? I wanted an outfit that was chill and easy to carry around, but would still make me look like I put some effort into picking it out.

When buying shoes, what do you look for in the product? I admittedly like brand names, so that’s the first thing I look at. I also like to keep up with what’s trending, so I look at items in a brand’s catalog that I see more and more people wearing. If it matches with my own personal style, then I keep an eye on it/purchase it altogether.

What happened to cause the last mess you made? The last and current mess I have on me is my work desk, which I’ve since abandoned in favor of my bed + portable desk as my new workspace. Idk, over the Christmas break I just ended up stacking up so much shit on the desk until it became a little too cluttered. I’ve cleaned it up here and there to make the space look neater, but there’s still a lot of stuff.

Are you embarrassed to bring people into your bedroom? Not embarrassed; I just find it unnecessary. My bedroom is too small to host guests and the only times I’ve let someone in there is when I had a significant other. I prefer people to stay in the living room.

When was the last children's birthday party you attended? It was my third cousin Isabella’s 7th birthday party at a Jollibee. Her family has been living in Australia for a while, but I guess they wanted to host a party with their Filipino family so they flew back here to stay for a few days. Because she is my third cousin and because she’s been living in Australia all her life, I don’t actually have any sort of relationship with her lmao but I still made an effort to greet her and stuff.

Are you good at reading other people's body language? Yes, to the point that it contributes to my overall anxiety.

If you're sick, do you go to school or do you stay home [usually]? I rarely get a fever so when I do it feels like actual death. For that reason, I usually have to skip the day and focus on feeling better.

Does chicken noodle soup really make you feel any better? I never had it whenever I’ve felt like crap in the past. I don’t really like soup though, so on a personal level I doubt it would have any effect on me.

What is one meal that you like to eat whilst sick? I don’t have a go-to meal because again, I rarely get sick.

Think of the last survey you filled out; did you enjoy it? Sure, it was easy to digest and it’s the kind that you can take over and over again.

Have you ever fed bread to ducks or geese? I’ve fed bread, but to fish in the sea; not ducks or geese since idk if we have either here other than in zoos. In our trip to Mactan in 2010, I remember how we were allowed to pay a certain small amount to get bread from the resort and proceed to feed the fish swimming around in the beach.

Is it hard to imagine you were ever as small as a 1-2 year old? Yeah, I definitely feel that way sometimes.

What set the tone for your mood today? Eh, I wouldn’t say I had an overall mood today, honestly. It was a normal day at work, maybe a little more uneventful than other days; and I was on top of my tasks so there wasn’t anything to dread or worry about. I was just concentrated on getting the day over with and wasn’t strongly attached to any emotion.

Have you ever set out to ruin someone else's day? I don’t think so.

Have you ever felt like the whole world was against you? It happens sometimes.

The name of the last video game you played? Mario Kart 8 probably? It’s been a while but it’s all I play if I do play a video game, so it’s a safe guess.

The name of the last board game that you played? We whipped out my old box of Trivial Pursuit last November when we didn’t have electricity and internet because of the typhoon.

What was the last thing that you told yourself? I don’t remember the last time I talked to myself, but like two minutes ago I was starting to feel sad so I silently reminded myself to think of positive things.

How many times a day do you wash your face? At least once, in the morning before I start work. I’ve learned that cleaning myself up, even if it’s just splashing water on my face, super helps if I want to start working in a good mood.

Do you remember your D.A.R.E. officer's name? I didn’t have one of those, anddd I’m sure we didn’t have that program here.

Someone throws hot coffee on you; how do you react? It’s taken me a whole goddamn week to finish this survey, lels. Anywho... I think out of instinct I would scream out in extreme agony first? And I’d probably spend the first immediate seconds to try and process what just happened. I don’t know if I would fight back because I’m pretty sure the burns would be hurting too badly for me to focus on revenge.

Is there a high school or college that you would rather be attending? I attended one school from kindergarten to college, and I can’t imagine having attended anywhere else. I had one dream university and I ended up attending it.

Have you ever lived in an apartment or duplex home? Yes, both. My parents lived in an apartment for a few months when I was a newborn. From ages 2-10 I lived in my childhood home, which is actually a duplex. The other house belongs to my grandpa’s late sister and her family.

Has anyone ever commented on your weight? Sure, but I care so little about my weight that they don’t really have an effect on me. The most common one I get is to “eat more.”

Where do you stand when it comes to sexual intercourse? Erm not really lmao. Just do it?? Idk. And just make sure consent is mutual and that you aren’t doing it out of pressure.

Name a show from the 90's that you miss? I guess ‘miss’ is the wrong word since I never watched it while it was ongoing, but I do love Friends. I’m excited to see what they have planned for the reunion episode.

Who provokes your sarcastic side the most? Bad co-workers, but luckily I haven’t had to pull that side of me in a while.

Have you ever thought about joining the military? Never.

When you were little, did you ever stare at disabled or "different" people? Being a kid, I probably did but never thought anything of it during those times. My mom certainly would’ve whooped my ass if I tried to comment anything mean or be a smartass.

Could the contents of your bedroom get you in any trouble? The one thing that would piss my mom off are my vape pens. I still have Gab-related stuff in my room that I’m too lazy to throw out, but I doubt I will get into trouble from those anymore because there has been no relationship to speak of in the last four months.

Do weather patterns sometimes have an effect on your health? Not on my health, but on my mood.

If it snows a lot where you live, do you experience cabin fever? It doesn’t, so idk what this would feel like.

When was the last time someone disapproved of something you were doing? Not entirely sure; this hasn’t happened in a while. Admittedly, as a people pleaser, I thrive on doing what people would want me to do lol.

How good are you at getting along with other people? On a scale of 1 to 10, probably a 9? I’m super nice to everyone and in the end it only really boils down to whether I have chemistry with them or not. If I fail to feel comfortable around someone I’m more likely to stay formal, but I do try to be lively and crack jokes with everyone as much as I can.

Do you consider yourself to be approachable? I want to be and I always try to come off as such, but my resting bitchface hurts that chance sometimes haha.

Do you know anyone that's a little emotionally unstable? Uhm, no one comes to mind.

Have you ever felt like you were going out of your mind? Yes.

Has anyone ever suggested that you might need "help"? I don’t recall being told this by anyone before. But with the way I broadcast my anxiety and sadness from time to time, I’m sure people have thought of it.

Do you take offense to things easily? Yeah you can say that. I’ve always been more sensitive than most.

How do you respond to cheesy pick-up lines? As with any pick-up line, I inwardly roll my eyes and move on.

Do you like to give people a taste of their own medicine? It’s such a waste of time and energy for the most part, so no. But if I feel petty, I have no problem doing it.

How was the service at the last restaurant you visited? It was...fine. Nothing to write home about. It was unlimited Korean barbecue and they actually had a system in place where they gave us a link to some internal website they kept, and we could simply order from there to minimize contact with the servers. I will say that I never got the kimchi jjigae I had ordered, but it was fine because I was full by then lmao.

Are you ever jealous of happy couples? No. I mean, I guess I’m reminded of my loneliness when I see couples in public, but I don’t get jealous or angry. I just shake it off and try to focus on myself.

Describe a thought that is sticking with you today? That I can’t wait for Friday.

Lately, who has spent the most time on your mind? I’ve been thinking more of my anxieties than certain people, tbh.

In a car: air conditioning, or roll the windows down? Air conditioning. Though sometimes it’s nice to have the windows down, especially when I’m driving within my village or up a mountain.

When was the last time you did anything to your playlist? I made an angst-themed playlist over the weekend.

Is there a new song or band you've discovered? Massive Attack. Hayley Williams did a super great cover of their song Teardrop, so I checked out the original version which I also ended up enjoying. Olivia Rodrigo too, who I found out is part Filipino yay!

Which teacher gives you the most homework? My Journalism Ethics professor will probably rank the highest on this list.

What type of personality do you find most annoying? Idk, condescending ones maybe? There are a million kinds of personalities lol, but yeah I hate those who make you feel dumb, and feel good about doing so.

How did you hear about Bzoink? If my memory serves me correctly, my 10 year old self just wanted empty about me surveys to answer. Bzoink was always one of the first websites to come out if I searched for surveys on Google.

How long did it take you to sign up for an account - if you have one? I don’t think I ever made an account on there since I was too shy to share my answers.

Are you punctual? Yes, very.

Have you ever howled at the full moon? No.

Have you ever seen yourself on camera? Like if I’ve seen photos of myself??? I would be very surprised if anyone can say they haven’t.

Do you give any consideration to what's said in your horoscope? No.

When was the last time you felt like you were being followed? This has never happened before, thankfully.

[canaryatlaw]

OKAY so today was a lot of course. I had my alarm set for fucking 3:45 am but OF COURSE kitty decided to jump on me at precisely 3:31 am and I was like really kitty?? really???? that she proceeded to bite things while I tried to lay down for ten more minutes until I just kicked her out of the room, then sorrowfully dragged my ass out of bed when my alarm went off. Didn’t have to do much to get ready of course so I was good to go by 4, went on uber and put the first stop as Jess’ place so we could pick her up then to the airport, and so we did. the airport was fairly chill lol nobody all that awake since it was like 4:45 am. we needed caffeine so we did a fairly ridiculous starbucks order (and by that I mean I goaded Jess into ordering a soy chai with two espresso shots which they then made as a soy chai with three espresso shots and I was so thrilled with myself) then walked down to the gate. We waited like 20 minutes or so till we started boarding. Jess SOMEHOW managed to get upgraded to “comfort plus” which is coach but slightly less shitty, so she got to be like 3 rows ahead of me while I was in coach with the commoners. Apparently they gave her bananas and several snack choices, whereas when they handed me a cranberry almond breakfast bar and I was like “do you have anything that doesn’t have nuts in it?” they were like “no” which made me want to pretend I was allergic to nuts and write to delta complaining about this. but during the actual plane ride I spent most of it reading the complaint I got yesterday about the torts issues I forget if I talked about this or not?? I’ll get to it at some point lol. I got sorta sleepy at the end and was kinda fading in and out of sleep when we landed. Upon landing we found my bag rather easily, then went on a wild goose chase trying to find where you can get to the ubers, then was like oh fuck that’s a really expensive uber but guess we don’t really have any other choice??? so we took our really expensive uber over through manhattan to where our airbnb is in “West New York” New Jersey, because staying in Manhattan is like upwards of $250 per night and that’s not happening. so we’re in a bedroom of an apartment which is fine. we got changed and then took another uber over to where NYCC actually is, which got caught in traffic around like construction getting out of new jersey and took forever. but THEN we got to the con center. it’s huge, of course. Oh, we’re cosplaying Gary and Ava, last minute change from our Riverdale plans because Jess wanted to be able to carry her Beebo around all day and I hear that was a massive hit. So she got a signing with the Titans cast at like 1:15, so we walked around a bit and then I went to get food because I hadn’t eaten since 5 am starbucks because I wasn’t seated on the nice section of the plane, so I went out to the food trucks and waited in a very long line for some second rate mac and cheese from a food truck (I was disappointed) while Jess got to go to her lovely signing. then I ate the food, then I went to the bathroom which also had a long line and tried to make the wig that I hate look semi-decent and idk if it worked, but then Jess was done so I tried to guide her to where I was and just ended up going to find her anyway. Once we were reunited we went through the show floor for a while, then the artist alley, and this was about the point where Facebook informed me they reached a verdict in the Laquan McDonald murder trial for former Chicago police officer Jason Van Dyke. Imma go off on a bit of a thing here, but like, you cannot underestimate how much this case has effected the public to police relations in Chicago. Basically, short story, a white cop shot and killed a black teenager (who happened to be a foster child, which I know because people I worked with knew him) when there are like 7 other cops on the scene and right away goes on the record saying Laquan lunged at him with a knife so he had to shoot him in self-defense, and the other cops on the scene all backed up his story. Case closed, right? It would’ve been if a certain dashboard camera hadn’t surfaced with the entire incident on video with Laquan walking AWAY from Van Dyke and Van Dyke just shooting him in cold blood, and every. single. officer. on the scene lied to protect him. like, if that isn’t a gigantic message to minority communities that they can't trust the police, idk what is. But that was 2014, it took them a full year to release the video and finally bring charges, and up till now that they actually tried him. I’ve been following the trial fairly closely thanks to a podcast called 16 Shots (oh yeah, did I forget to mention that Van Dyke put 16 bullets in this 17 year old foster child?) which had been recapping the court coverage every day. At first hearing the jury had a verdict after about a day and a half of deliberation, I felt kinda worried because it felt to me like it would take more than that to convict a cop of first degree murder. the outcome though was one I was halfway expecting, they convicted him of second degree murder, which is known as a lesser-included offense, meaning it’s something the jury can decide on if they don’t feel like the full charge is warranted but he’s not innocent either. second degree murder in this case is following the imperfect self-defense rule, which is when a person believes that they need to kill the other person in self-defense, but that belief was unreasonable (whereas a reasonable belief would potentially get you acquitted). So I wasn’t terribly shocked when the verdict came back with that. The interesting part for me at least ended up being that they convicted him of 16 counts of aggravated battery (one for each shot) and that has sparked some conversations among law students/lawyers on my page as to whether those sentences would run consecutively or concurrently, because if it’s the former he may very well die in prison, being as the mandatory minimum on the charge is 6 years (which would place him at a total of 96 years, on top of the murder sentence) so we’ll have to see how sentencing plays out. but of course they immediately revoked his bail and he’s sitting in prison tonight, the first of many nights to come, and that is at least some justice to what has been such a divisive incident, even when I personally feel like there were enough aspects of premeditation (such as before he got to the scene hearing what the cops were saying and remarking “I guess we have to shoot him then”) to warrant first degree murder. but anyway, back to con world. we walked through artist alley for a bit and then ended up meeting up with a new friend who is gonna be one of the co-hosts with Jess and I on the upcoming Batwoman podcast, so we just sat and chilled for a while to talk and get to know each other and it went really well! So I’m definitely looking forward to that adventure. After that we wandered the show floor some more until it was 4:30 and I could line up for my funko buying slot. they have a lottery to be able to purchase any of the NYCC exclusive funko pops, and if you get a slot you can purchase them but only one of each type. At first the booth was kinda a mess and there was like a huge people traffic jam but I waded through it and found the actual line. I ended up talking to this kid behind me who was from Scotland who was pretty nice (I say kid because I was like “you’re a baby right?” and he was like “well I’m about to turn 21″ and I was like “yeah that’s what I thought” 😂😂) but we just talked about the pops and the options and some of the shows, so that was nice. he ended up buying like 21 of them I think because he was bringing a bunch home to different friends. I ended up buying four, killer frost for a friend, the Supergirl one that I may or may not resell at some point, Aquaman just because I wanted him, and one of the characters from New Girl for Jess because the main character is named Jess and she has a friend (”friend”) with the characters name so she really wanted that. the line took a bit but once we got up to the counter they were super quick. they then proceeded to give me the biggest bag known to man, made out of those like reusable shopping bag material but like, maybe about 4 feet by 4 feet in height and length? it’s fucking huge lol. but after that I met back up with Jess and we headed out, ended up taking the subway one stop up to times square just because we weren’t sure if the neighborhoods we would have to walk through if we did walk would be safe. Once we got there we needed food so I suggested Juniors because I always end up there and they haven’t let me down once. I of course got my favorite matzo ball soup and a potato pancake, and it was lovely as always. After we finished dinner we walked up to where the theatre was and got in line for the very first preview of King Kong, the broadway musical. We had seen the theatre marquee for it back in July when we saw mean girls (which was right around the corner) and Jess really wanted to see it, and it just so happened to start while we were already gonna be in NY so clearly that was fate. So we lined up, the opened the theatre a little earlier than usual so we got to our seats and waited for a bit. Now of course, as an actor and someone with a degree in Theatre, I automatically analyze just about every element of a show, whether I’m trying to or not. I basically expected it to be a dumpster fire, and there were definitely some cringeworthy moments, but they were fewer than I expected. I of course expected the technical elements to be phenomenal and absolutely groundbreaking as far as broadway goes because this has definitely never been done up till this point and they absolutely nailed every element of the technical side of things. Sadly what was lacking was what would classify as the heart and soul of any broadway musical- the book and the score. It reminded me a lot of Spider-Man: TOTD in that they invested heavily in technical elements but lacked in actual story and musical quality. I will say, the lead woman absolutely carried the show, and she was fucking phenomenal, so I will definitely give her credit for that. Now I haven’t actually seen the old movie from he 30′s that this was based on so I can’t say for sure, but I don’t believe the character of Ann Darrow was originally a POC, so I liked that they went in that direction. but as far as music goes, I can recall like, maybe a few words and a few stanzas of music, but the rest of it was very forgettable. again, though, the technical elements were absolutely phenomenal. So they definitely get credit for that. I couldn't help but thinking man, they’re gonna sweep on those technical effects Tonys they never actually air on tv 😂😂😂. I feel like the appeal is very similar to spider-man as well, and their main patrons are gonna be tourists, which I mean is a fairly good model to work off in NYC, so I predict it’ll run for a few years then quietly disappear, and not many will miss it. so when it was over we got an uber back to our airbnb, showered and got ready for bed and now I’m here and OY am I tired as I’m sure you could assume from the beginning of this post, but consider this me signing off for now. Goodnight loves. Happy weekend.

[missmichellebelle]

For the unique asks - 1, 2, and 4 please :-)

1. Describe yourself how you would describe a character you’re introducing.

It’s a particular dilemma, feeling both too still and restless at the same time. She feels like she isn’t doing anything, her fingers beating against the tabletop instead of her keyboard, creating nonsense beats instead of words. But she shifts, scuffs her heel against the leg of her chair, the hardwood floor, her other shin. Her eyes flit around like maybe she’ll find inspiration in the way the lamp stands in the corner, or the particular way the last book on the shelf is tipped at an angle. But her cup of pens offers no sound advice, the blinds on the window refusing to whisper anything encouraging.

She breathes slowly through her nose, closes her eyes, flexes her fingers.

“Okay,” she says to no one but the cat sleeping on her pillow. “Okay, you can do this.” Not the cat, obviously, but her. “You write all the time. Writing is easy. It’s what you do. Just start and it’ll come to you.” She lays her fingers against the keyboard. Types.

The the blank word document says, and she rubs her hands over her face, massaging her eyes beneath her glasses. She’s no better than Spongebob. She’s a failure.

You know what doesn’t make her feel like a failure? Other people sucking at video games. In these great times of need, she is so fucking grateful for YouTube.

2. Is there any specific ritual you go through while/before/after your writing?

um. hmm. I generally like to have everything I need within reach, so I tend to set up my workspace so that I have a snack, something caffeinated, water, etc. headphones plugged in and on, although 90% of the time I never actually listen to anything. depending on the fic, I’ll try to hype up my inspiration either by rereading old chapters of the work, or listening to the song that inspired it, or watching part of the movie that the au is based on, etc. so I guess I’d say my ritual is a little different, depending on what exactly I’m working on.

4. Are there any other fic writers you admire? If so, who and why?

oh dude you’re going to make me list them. I don’t know if I could even get all of them, there are so many. and some of them I remember by their works and not their names (from older fandoms, mind you), and I’ve carried the way their words made me feel with them. for the sake of literally not listing every single one of my friends who writes (because I literally admire all of them), I will list one from each fandom I’ve been in (and hope no one I adore becomes offended).

rainjoy does not have a tumblr, so I can’t tag her, but I can’t. *mean girls voice* how does one describe rainjoy? rainjoy is the reason I hated my writing and felt inferior, but is also the reason I came to terms with the fact that my writing was its own and different and no one else’s. her stories, the worlds she created, just fucking everything. I still check her work, quietly praying our fandoms will cross paths again one day.

@alittledizzy my dearest Mandy.

@ohjafeeljadefinitelyfeel dude. DUDE. okay this writer. wrote this fic. that TO THIS DAY has a lasting effect on me. has changed me. sometimes I still turn to my friends and go, “remember that one time I stayed up for two days straight reading that fic? I can’t fucking believe what happened in it.” their writing fucking captured me and kept me, and I still go back to it, amazed by what it put me through and what it made me feel. it’s the kind of writing you want to read again and again and hope that maybe some of that talent will rub off on you.

@bfketh long before Keth and I were ever friends, I had read pretty much everything she had written without really knowing very much about her as a person. and when I did get the chance to know her, it was to learn that the person behind the fic was just as amazing as the fic itself. dude, Keth, I still. think about Sun’s Radiance. sometimes I lay in bed at night and stare at the ceiling and just think about the rich world you created, the depth of the characters, the way the plot took me to hell and back.

aaaand @shysweetthing. I’m noticing a trend with all of these writers, and that is that they write fic that sticks with you. whether it be the plot itself, or the details, and when it comes to the fics by this writer, it’s all in the details for me. those little things that I know from experience writers pour hours into that sometimes only get a few paragraphs, a few thousand words. it’s Yuuri being better at spins than Victor. it’s Victor’s poor sense of direction. it’s that Japanese couple refusing to make katsudon for Victor until they find out for Yuuri.

and I could literally name dozens more, but as you can tell, I’m a wordy fuck so. that’s probably a good place to leave the list for now lol.

[robbieinterviews]

MARGOT ROBBIE ON BEAUTY, SHOWER BEERS, AND BEST FRIENDS, 2016

We’re guessing this has been said before, but Margot Robbie may just be one of the most down-to-earth actors we’ve had the opportunity to interview. Not to mention that she’s even prettier and nicer IRL than you could possibly expect. We say all this because, as you can imagine, we were kind of nervous when we found ourselves heading uptown to meet with Robbie on the Monday after Thanksgiving, when our turkey brain was still in full effect. But all of that dissipated the moment we arrived to find her lounging barefoot on the couch, recounting the tale of showing up to her friend’s Thanksgiving with Jägerbombs in tow. Yeah, we told you she was chill.

We were there primarily to chat with Robbie about being named the latest face of Calvin Klein’s fragrance, deep euphoria, but couldn’t help but ask her about everything from her in-flight beauty advice and go-to dry shampoo, to ginger shots and shower beers. You could say it was a well-rounded conversation. Fast-forward to later that evening, as we put on our fanciest and headed out to join Robbie and Calvin Klein at a star-studded awards dinner celebrating IFP’s Gotham Awards—basically the Oscars of independent film, which brings light to what are sure to be the best movies of the year. All in all, it was definitely the most glamorous Monday we’ve had in a while. Or ever.

On celebrating American Thanksgiving:

“My friends and I are like orphans in L.A., so we jumped on someone else’s Thanksgiving dinner and it ended up being far more extravagant [than we expected]. We thought it was just going to be the five of us getting drunk, so we brought Jägerbombs, but there were kids at the table! We were like, ‘Okay! We’re gonna hide this bottle of Jäger.’ Because clearly, this is not the kind of Thanksgiving we are at. Of course, the Australians show up at this lovely family affair ready to get drunk, right? It was really, really nice though. We were thinking Jägerbombs to wrap up the evening, kind of counteract the sleepiness of the turkey.”

Why being the face of Calvin Klein’s deep euphoria reminds her of home:

“I’m really stoked to be the face of Calvin Klein deep euphoria. A few other opportunities had come up that I passed on because I didn’t know the brand very well or liked their products—I don’t want to endorse something I don't genuinely like because then I’ll feel like a real idiot. So when this came up it was perfect! I love Calvin Klein and their perfumes, all the women in my family wear Calvin Klein perfumes so it reminds me of home.

“When I first smelled deep euphoria I wasn’t sure I was going to start wearing it, but then I had the bottle and I kept wearing it and getting compliments. I smell a bit of rose, but it also has muskiness to keep it more subtle. It’s not too overbearing and it feels feminine enough without being sweet. I’m not super girly, but I still like having a feminine side. I want my boyfriend to be like, ‘Oh, you smell good.’ It’s also one of those perfumes that both guys and girls like the smell of.”

On confidence boosters (in the form of perfume and bubbles):

“I always feel better and more confident when I’m wearing perfume. To counteract nerves before an event or red carpet, I drink a glass of champagne. I don’t get ready on my own in dead silence because then I’m a basket case of nerves by the time I get there. I always have, like, six of my girlfriends over and they always bring champagne, so we have a glass of bubbles and chat. If I’m getting my makeup done, I can’t really be chatting but just listening to everyone’s stories and focusing on other people’s shit instead of your own helps.”

“I don’t want to be surrounded by people who are like, ‘What are you thinking? What are you feeling? What are you wearing? You, you, you.’ One thing I noticed early on is that some actors get surrounded by people who only focus on them—I’d be much more self-conscious if questions were constantly about what I’m doing. I just enjoy surrounding myself with people who aren’t in the industry. That’s key, and music and champagne, lots of ‘lols.’ I’ll just chill and then it’s fun and doesn’t feel like work, it feels like a pre-game!”

Her favorite makeup look and trick:

“If I have a big night out, I always get sweaty and gross, so less makeup is better—that way I won’t have eyeliner running down my face. If I’m wearing a red lip, I need to be doing nothing that night, just going to a very calm dinner and straight home. Otherwise I will have lipstick everywhere. I keep it pretty simple and natural because when I do more intense makeup it tends to look worse on me.

“When you do photo shoots and they want the look to be beachy, like you are not wearing any makeup—but actually you are wearing a ton of makeup—they draw your freckles on [over foundation]. They just dot on freckles with an eyebrow pencil and it looks like you are not wearing any makeup because your freckles are shining through. It’s my favorite thing they do—you feel younger and like you’ve been out in the sun, it looks amazing.”

What it’s like being on set and traveling non-stop:

“[Free time] is just nonexistent. Honestly, I make work fun because I do genuinely love working and I do it a lot. My best friend is my assistant, so that way, even if we have to do something we don’t want to, at least I’m still there with my best friend and everything becomes an adventure. If she is not there then I’ll bring [my boyfriend] Tom [Ackerley] with me, so if I’m going for work it still feels like a holiday.

“When I travel I catch up with friends because I’ve got groups of friends in New York, London, and L.A., and my family and friends back home [in Australia]. If I’m in a totally random city and haven’t been before, I get the Wallpaper* City Guides and follow the ‘24 hours in this city,’ which maps your day out. Like, 8AM, go to this café and order this, then go to this gallery at 11 AM and walk through this park. I get a nice overview of all the cool things to do and a feel for the city instead of going somewhere touristy.”

On combating jet lag and hands-free traveling:

“I use Aesop Ginger Flight Therapy on my temples and wrists. It’s meant to help with jet lag—I don’t know if it does but I like the smell of it so I do it anyway. In L.A., because you can’t throw a stick without hitting a juice bar, I get immune booster shots with ginger and turmeric, and I do genuinely think they help!

“If I can fit my things in my pockets, I won’t bring a bag with me. But generally you’d find my phone, lip balm, and wallet in there. I have my cards on a money clip so it can fit in my pockets. I like to travel light.”

What she drinks in the morning and right before bed:

“Tea and tea. I drink so much tea. I don’t really like coffee. I drink it if I’m getting a migraine because sometimes a shot of caffeine can help. But I drink a lot of tea. Dilmah black tea is my favorite brand of tea! Like a nerd I carry it around with me everywhere—if you are a tea drinker you always have your specific kind with you. My roommates will only drink PG Tips because they are Londoners and I’ll only drink Dilmah because that is what I had growing up. So we’ll all carry around our box of tea bags—it’s ridiculous.

“I do drink a lot of water, too. Sometimes, after work, I’ll have a beer in the bath—a bath beer! If I don’t think I’m going to fall asleep, I’ll have a really hot bath and a really cold beer and then float off to bed. Oh my god, it’s the nicest thing! Or a beer shower, I’ll do that as well. It’s like a baby’s bottle before bed.”

Her top 5 hero beauty products:

1. Burt’s Bees Tinted Lip Balms: I’m obsessed with them.

2. Peter Thomas Roth Max Complexion Correction Pads: I always get on a plane with these. As soon as I sit down on a flight I take my makeup off and then I have these little pads and my face is squeaky-clean afterwards.

3. Aesop Immediate Moisture Facial Hydrosol: I always have this in my handbag and spray it on my face throughout the day.

4. Laura Mercier Creme Cheek Color: I put some of this on my eyelids as an eyeshadow and on my cheeks as well. I saw my makeup artist doing it on me and was like ‘Oh, that is really clever!’One less product I have to worry about.

5. Klorane Dry Shampoo: This is the shit. If you’ve got blonde hair it’s the best because it covers your roots and makes it look like you just got them done, when really it’s just a ton of dry shampoo.

[theleftoverurl]

So let’s recap the past couple of days because I haven’t for a while I suppose haha.

Had a marathon convo with Nemoss that went from 9am on Monday to 8am on Tuesday rip and because of that I’m currently operating on 1h sleep but I haven’t really felt very tired yet and I think mostly I’m okay, surprisingly.

So this week is the start of like hell study week jam all the notes into your brain type thing but for some reason I don’t feel particularly stressed about it. I have 112 pages of notes to learn so I’m hoping that the stress kicks in soon. I spent most of Monday morning killing time by playing on my phone and pretending to study. I made a study plan and that’s it.

Then at 1pm I got ready for hospy, grabbed a Turkish melt (yom) and found Kate and friends in Dino. They were going to Coog cos it was pretty hot so I waited for them to get ready and walked with them half the way so I could go to hospy. Time to do my SOCA! I was sort of nervous because I it’s a catchup SOCA to make up for the fact that I fucked up the Effective Communications cap so I felt like I had to make it count but didn’t want to be nervous because I felt that would affect my communication with the patient? I like did a quick recap of the history via Google and then met George my assessor. He was super nice and we went to the cardio ward to do it. The first two patients were busy and I almost had to interview a prisoner (which I was not ready to do lol) but luckily the prisoner was asleep. He was with two policemen and I was made really uncomfortable because as a joke when we asked if we could interview him one of the policemen offered to kick him awake and then when he saw our like shocked faces was like “I was joking” quickly and then like laughed but I felt it was awkward because being mean to a sick patient, prisoner or not is kinda rude? Anyway I had the best luck because I ended up interviewing a patient who was a retired nurse so she like knew what I was trying to ask with the history and could fill in gaps when I forgot to ask about things with useful information and she was super friendly so rapport was good. It was probably the most perfect history I’ve ever done, like structure good and everything and it was definitely what I needed to like boost my confidence about the whole situation and remember why I wanna do med and stuff. George was pretty impressed too so I P+-sed my way through the assessment lol. He did say I should’ve been more like relevant with my questions about presenting complaint though, because she was in for breathlessness and I didn’t pick up that that’s a sign of heart failure so didn’t really ask about related symptoms to heart failure. But overall, it was a good history and I was proud of it.

Then I headed up to Edmund Blackett to attend my actual hospital session. We had this nice girl called Emily running the session and she took us to this patient who had serious scoliosis. It was good to practice the hand exam with my newfound confidence and I feel like I really got a lot out of the whole thing. Hei Wai’s history was a bit stilted but it was actually quite good and just the whole thing was good because it’s renewed my confidence for the OSCEs kind of at a good time I feel.

Then I rushed back to college to borrow a charger off Hamish because mine broke and grab Rid’s textbook before tutoring. Tutoring was pretty fun we were doing polynomial division which is fun to like go through the process. Me and Rid both made a stupid mistake with one of the questions and I got so confused lol but overall it was a really good lesson and I really am feeling the bond between myself and all my kids which is just so hard when I think about dropping them next year.

Then on a whim when I got back I thought I’d study on Floor 7 for some company to see if any of my friends were around. It was windy af but stinking hot and Max was holed away in the stuffy stuffy study room but I joined him for like 30min of studs before STUVAC supper! Because it’s official uni study week, Dino feeds us like supper for Mon-Fri this week and J&D do free coffees and honestly it was so lit. Brownies and fresh fruit (for once) and I ripped my undies by deciding I’d drink a large mocha. I knew the coffee would fuck me up but I was just excited about free coffee and toasties and ham and I was talking to Nemo anyway so figured I wouldn’t be like up and insomniac alone. Kate and Vron were there and we actually chilled at supper for a bit because Kate’s finished for the year so she’s so calm and like chill now – like it’s actually a bit freaky how noticeable the difference is when she doesn’t have a single stress cos uni’s over for her. Vron was saying how she needs to sell her clothes cos she’s so poor and I wanted her like nice conservative clothes for hospy so I was like YASSS I’ll come to your room and look.

So we went to hers and I put aside a potential buy pile and she’s gonna bring up more clothes for me to browse next time she comes back from Tamworth. Then we marched up to Kate’s room so I could relieve her of some clothes. I don’t even need more clothes I have plenty I just wanted to cheaply boost my wardrobe and chill with the two of them and procrastinate I reckon. Linley and Hadeel and Nicky G and Claudia joined us in Kate’s room eventually and it was like a whole party!

Eventually we drifted to the commo and I did some actual work but it was getting pretty late by now so I only got through a couple of lectures. Also my computer just blinked out and died and I freaked the fuck out inside a little bit and had to make my notes off Edward Rose’s notes (which I actually think I may prefer doing now anyway lol) but yeah so it took a bit longer. And so I was texting Nemoss about euthanasia ethics because I wanted to show off my tute and I can’t believe he doesn’t like ethics and philosophy cos I feel like we talk that sorta stuff all the time and I was talking just generally to Max and Claudia and Nick and it was such a good time and then we drifted to Claudia’s room and suddenly it was 3am and we were talking some serious shit about annoying people at college (which was really funny because we all agree but can never say) and about how state laws are stupid and some should be federal etc. and then suddenly it was 3:30am and Clauds had fallen asleep with the light on so we thought we should vacate her room and everyone decided to go to bed.

I was still riding my coffee high and had Nemoss so headed back to my floor and omg Riley had vomited all down the corridor. It smelt terrible and he must’ve vomited like 3x down the corridor at least because it reeked and like in a patchy kinda way too. And then I see Riley and I swear I have never seen someone look so fucked in his life he was white as a ghost his eyes were starey and red and he was shirtless holding his shirt in a crumple and there were literally drips of vom dripping off his shirt-ball onto the floor in front of the bathroom. It was disgusting. And he stared at me blankly and then was like ‘Georgia’ and I was like gonna spew from the smell and I was sleep-deprived and like I don’t really like Riley and I was just like rip rip rip I’m gonna bed so I left him to deal with his shit.

His vom was so strong I could smell it from inside my room with the door closed so it was a huge rip. Anyway by then it was getting kinda late to sleep because I had to get up early to meet corky for brekky so I thought I’d just rough it and stay up and like watch my caffeine doses and like crash sometime tomorrow so I was up chilling with Nemoss by phone till 8am when I crashed for an hour.

Corky woke me up by texting me 40min later to see if I was awake to get ready to go to brekky and she’d even researched the bus I had to take and everything I was like wtf. So I dragged myself outta bed and had to shower on the 4th floor because the 5th floor still reeked like shit and I wasn’t entering that bathroom if my life depended on it. 4th floor water pressure is probably the worst in all of college, I discovered, so after an unsatisfactory shower I grabbed my wallet dumped mascara on and dragged myself on a bus to Centennial park.

Queen’s Park Shed was where we ate and it was actually like very small and quaint, not at all what I expected for some reason but it was nice and had just like chill picnic in the park vibes. Corky and I had granola with poached pear and berries and it was like clearly overpriced for $12 for like a bit of muesli, yoghurt and sparse berries but it was healthy, filling and yummy so oh well. I also medicated with a coffee and I reckon that’s why I’ve made it so far tbh. Corky and I had good chats because I haven’t seen her in ages and she was like not as stressed about uni work as usual because she’d purposely like written time off study so we could hang out. It was really really good to catch up and we talked from 10am to 2:30pm in our procrastination type catchup and it was so good we probs would’ve kept talking except I had to get to class by 3 lol.

SG was boring af we watched 2 videos on like bereavement and palliative care. The first was just an explanation of palliative care and the second was following the life of this irish man who had a large stomach sarcoma and was going to die. It was quite emotional but there wasn’t much like discussion on it and as soon as the vids were over we were pretty much allowed to leave. I was so bored and like not coping (but not tired yet, weird) so I let Kuheli like read texts on my phone and it was kind of weird breaching my own privacy like that but at the same time not really caring because I’m just at that stage in my life where I’m really open cos I don’t give like a shit about anything.

After SG we wasted time with Fenton and Nguyen for awhile then Kuheli dragged me to the coffee cart cos she wanted tea. I stayed well away from that coffee cart because I wanted my sleep tonight thank you very much but considering it’s now 1:30am and I haven’t slept it’s all quite moot, isn’t it? And then I bussed off to tutoring with Ella. Kuheli walked me to the busstop which was nice and I almost crashed on the bus but by that time I was dangerously close to my stop so managed to stay awake. Tutoring Ella woke me up too. We made use of the NRICH site link I stole off Wayne when I used to tutor him and we started doing some problem solving. We were only doing extension Year 5 problem solving and she’s year 7 but I felt that like it was easy enough to ease her into the concepts and yet there were still some things which confused her so I think it was a good level to start and maybe we will build on it next time and go a bit up idk. HOWEVER her exams are coming up so I can’t get distracted by my get her to problem solve goals cos she really has to revise all her topics to do well and pass her test like as first priority. Anyway it was nice session and afterwards her Dad dropped me back at Churchies like right near uni so I didn’t have to bus which was so so so fantastic.

I went up to floor 7 because I think whilst I’m studying I should make the most of people being around and soak up some company too and Linley was studying in the study room. I got a decent amount done, but I’ve lost a lotta time due to wasting time on Monday and having breakfast with Courteney like all day today so I’m still behind but not too stressed. Headed down to floor supper and cos I didn’t have lunch or dinner I like went ham and had a double cheese and ham toastie, 2 donuts and fruit and it was honestly so lit. Stayed away from the coffee again though cos I ain’t that mad.

Then back up to the study room and honestly just threw myself into it. Like Max, Claudia and Nicky G were in and out I think but I honestly can’t say what was going on I was so focused. Kate popped in as well and I think her like meeting with Hugh didn’t go great but it was never going to so at least she was a bit prepared? Idk then we moved to the commo again and the chill cycle is repeating again as we speak with the same people. Hamish has lent me his charger again tonight thank god so I have my phone and now that I’ve successfully (and lengthily) recapped the past like idk 48 hours or so, I can head back for some chats before bed. Hopefully I can find the balance between sleep and chills but idk even if I don’t I just don’t wanna rek myself too much. There’s always a bit of coffee tho tomorrow idk.

Off to Woollahra library all day cos I wanna try a change of scene but also wanna get a lot done so should be like nice to go somewhere slightly different to hang for once. Kk that’s all for now, I know this is quite badly written but I don’t have the cognitive function to like fix it up or write it properly or anything on my limited sleep right now, so it will have to do. Till another day J