#<- can work for other fandoms too idgaf

[girlashfur]

new tumblr game. put in the tags a GENUINE flaw your fav(s) has. cant be something like "too kind" or "loves too much" like something genuinely bad messed up morally wrong they are or have done

[astreids]

in this life and all the others !!!

alternatively — ☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩ john price prepared his daughter for everything and that included him being gone. what he didn't prepare himself for was her being gone.

simon riley x fem!price!reader — 𖦹₊˚⊹☁️

warnings — ⋆｡°✩ language. kinda ooc!simon but idgaf. reader may have some specific traits, sorry for self projection, it WILL happen again. kidnapping, allusion to death, blood, wounds, the usual yeeyay with their line of work. john is going through it. reader and ghost are already together.

author's note — ⋆｡°✩ hiii :) my first time ever writing for this fandom and i'm reallllly excited!! i hope you like this <3 fair warning, the reader's sense of style, hair length description, possible field of work may be specified so if that's not to your preference, i'm really sorry for it :( if you would like me to do something like this with some specific points and all, you can just ask me!! i'm sure i'll be able to work with that!! thank you so much for reading, i already love each and every one of you <3

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

it felt wrong to admit it now but when your mother first dropped you at your father's house, he didn't — well, he didn't exactly want you.

it wasn't as if he didn't love you, he did — you were his daughter. but his life had enough chaos to last him a lifetime and he was just fine with staying in touch with you through screens and only seeing you alternately on christmas, that too if the circumstances allowed him too

sure, he wouldn't be there at your parent teacher conferences or have you show him your report cards. he wouldn't get to see you perform extraordinarily in your extracurriculars or have you run towards him with whatever prize or trophy you'd get. he wouldn't always be there at your birthdays and sometimes, he might even forget to mail you a present. he might not get to see you grow up and he might only be just your father and never your dad.

he was fine with that.

so, what would it matter if his heart broke a little when his ex-wife, your mother, called him the night after they had signed the divorce papers and asked him to talk to you because you wouldn't stop asking for your dad? why would he be second guessing himself after hearing your small voice breaking in between as you asked him to come back? why did he get the sudden urge to drive to your mum's house and pick you up and apologize and let you choose the colour of the walls of your room in his house — your home?

but sure, he was fine.

he assured you that he was just a call away, told you to be good for your mom, eat your veggies, be nice and kind and then bid you goodbye. he tried hard not to pay attention to your cries as your mum took the phone from you and apologized to him, explaining that you just missed him.

'she just misses you, john,' and he was ready to break down then and there. you needed him, your dad, and he was refusing to be there. refusing to let that shadow of his work even fall on your shadow for a second. refusing to let you be a soft spot for him because that was the most dangerous thing a person in his line of work could ever have.

'she'll get over it soon, forget her old man and all,' he tried to laugh it off but his voice broke and before your mum could say anything, he hung up.

the next time he saw you, you were at his door, standing with your luggage behind you and your mother. he noticed that her own luggage was still in the cab and it didn't take long for him to figure out what was coming. he had tried to explain himself, explain why exactly he wasn't cut out for this and that he was very happy with seeing you every other weekend. all while you stood near the staircase and stayed quiet.

your mum left and left you behind with a father who didn't even remember his daughter's favourite colour.

he remembered the look on your face and the way you tried to make yourself as small as possible, taking the least amount of space you could. you had just turned ten, your birthday being one of many that john would eventually come to miss and he looked at you like you were still that same one year old baby who pulled herself up and walked to her dad.

he grabbed your luggage and one of your hands and walked you up the stairs and into one of the rooms down the hall. it was mostly empty, a twin size bed and a dresser drawer spread out with a wardrobe in the corner but he figured you'd be fine.

if he saw you pause at the walls being your maybe-favourite colour, he didn't say anything.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

"what do you mean?"

"john — "

"stop, just — stop," john took a deep breath, exhaling shakily as he broke eye contact with laswell and looked away. his hands ever so slightly shaking came up to fix his signature hat as he pointedly ignored ghost's gaze piercing him from where he was listening to everything at the back of his office. "what do you mean?"

"we're trying to locate — "

"that's my fucking daughter and you swore that this wouldn't ever catch up to her!" john snapped, his voice firm and sharp as he desperately tried to hide the tremor in his words. "you — you guaranteed that my line of work would never catch up to her and that she'd be safe and she'd be fine and now she is — "

he cut himself off with as soon as his voice cracked, looking away as he shook his head, shaking the concerned and empathetic eyes of kate and the blank stare of his lieutenant. deep down, he knew that she was doing everything she could to locate you — the whole base was. with soap leaving no stone unturned as he investigated the residence, gaz checking the cameras installed out the place and the street to find a trace of anything, kate herself flying down to the base to do everything she was capable of doing and ghost doing... something, everyone was on it.

but still, you were his daughter.

his daughter. the one who always waited up for him ever since you learned that your dad would be away for a while but he'd come back. the one who called him 'old man' but cried and got upset whenever he tried to have the 'when i'm gone' conversation with you. the one who made cards for every single occasion, cards he still cherished with his everything. you were his everything and you were nowhere to be found.

in a way he blamed himself, he always did. whether it'd be you catching a fever or not having all of your project supplies, he'd always blame himself. he'd continue to do it until someone — more often than not, kate — came by and knocked some sense into his head, told him that one shortcoming doesn't make him a bad dad.

his eyes glanced around the room, anything to prevent him from looking into the empathetic gaze of kate because it felt like she had already accepted that you were gone. you were not, you were just taken — taken from him and he needed to get you back.

he locked eyes with simon and took in his appearance for the first time since he came into the room. truth be told, nobody really saw him coming in, nobody even called for him to be in here. he just showed up and john knew that it would be futile to get him to go out — not that he wanted him to go. it was weirdly comforting, having simon in the same room as they discussed what to do next. maybe it was because they both had the same goal in their mind, get you back or maybe john had just grown familiar with his presence after countless mornings of him descending down the stairs to see him and you at the breakfast bar. whatever it was, john was grateful simon stuck around.

looking at him, everything was the same, not one thing out of place but john knew different, he knew better. he could see the small specks of blood decorating his infamous skull mask and the empty holster attached to his thigh. he could barely make out the dark spots on his glove but if he strained his eyes enough, he'd find them.

he wasn't looking at simon, he was looking at ghost.

john knew that ghost hadn't expressed one percent of what he actually wanted to express. he knew as soon as he stormed out of the room when laswell broke the news to the team and returned a couple hours later, gloves discarded somewhere and his knuckles stained with blood. he kept his mouth shut, mind running haywire as he tried to plan out anything, anything to get even a sliver of news about your whereabouts.

he could feel kate stare at him with calculating eyes and something akin to guilt swimming in them. he could feel simon stare at his form as he paced around the room, hands fidgeting as he fought the urge to call soap and gaz every minute.

kate's gaze didn't bother him, simon's did because it mirrored his hopelessness.

he was so lost in his own guilt and desperation and defeat that he didn't hear the footsteps thundering down the hallway, not until they were right in front of them and the door slammed open. it was only then he looked to see soap panting, a small piece of paper in his hands and he pointed to it back and forth and for a moment, john could feel the sickening sense of hope swell in his chest.

gaz was right behind soap, seemingly in a better position to speak than the latter and plucked the piece of paper from his teammate's hands and held it out for john to see.

"what — "

"we managed to trace the owner of the car that was seen going around your block more than eighteen times," gaz informed, eyes flickering to ghost who had now made his way towards their small group and back to his captain in front of him. "the car was brought under a very... creative way, three shell companies and we traced each one of them back to a single corporation."

"they have these warehouses, right outside of the town," soap continued, taking notice of the desperation in his captain's eyes and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, "it's a very good chance she's there."

"how sure are you?" it was the first time ghost opened his mouth ever since he joined john and kate. his voice gave away nothing and to anyone, it must have sounded like he was just talking about any other mission but john knew that it took everything for him to keep his voice steady and strong.

"damn sure, lt."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

john remembered the first time he had the 'when i'm gone' talk with you.

you were eleven, and it killed him inside when he realised that he would have to make you understand the risks in his line of work.

he remembered the way you threw him the dirtiest look you could muster, the most withered glare set on your face as soon as he said the words and he had to stop and blink in surprise because goddamn, his daughter was scary.

he remembered the way you shook your head at his every 'understand?' the way you tried to run off to your room and you would've, if not for his arms shooting out to catch you before you could bolt. the way you told him to be quiet as politely as you could when he continued, denial in your eyes at the prospect of your dad going away and not coming back.

he remembered his heart cracking in two when you looked up at him with tears in your eyes and he almost stopped himself, cursing himself in his mind because you shouldn't have to sit here and listen to him telling you what to do in case his dog tags came back and he didn't.

you managed to get yourself free from his hold and rush upstairs to your room and he didn't have it in himself to call you back down and you both left it at that.

the second time he tried to have the talk with you was when you turned eighteen and he got shot on a mission.

the way you looked at him when he woke up in the hospital still haunted him on nights when he couldn't sleep and he knew that he was basically torturing you with this. going away and not providing any guarantee that he would come back but he couldn't.

he could leave tomorrow and say that he'd be back in time for christmas and there would still be a chance that he'd end up coming back home in a casket.

he couldn't give you the security of his arrival but he could prepare you in case anything ever happened and he did. he set apart bank accounts for you, under a different name and a different address. he brought two different apartments in the city, under a different name and a different address. he brought a small house and trusted that you would make it a home, under a different name and a different address. he made sure that you would be okay if he left, after he left and he knew he did a damn good job with it.

you didn't do the same.

he prepared you on how to live if he went away before it was time but he never prepared himself for if, god forbid, you were gone. he never had to because what kind of father would want to come to terms with the knowledge that their kid could leave before them?

"hey — hey, honey," he brushed the hair out of your face, his facade slowly crumbling away with his fingers came back stained with blood — your blood. his gun lays discarded next to him and he almost wants to go back and bullet a few more bullets in those bastards' heads for your condition. "you still with me?"

"dad..." you whispered, eyes fluttering close with fatigue and blood loss as your head rested against the wall. he could see the way you forced your eyelids to stay open, your grip on his hand weak and so delicate that he wanted to scream.

"i'm here, i'm here," he murmured, stroking your cheek to keep you awake while you both waited for the clear signal from the rest. his hands were shaking and he was sure that his heartbeat could be heard by everyone else on the comms but even then, he had to be strong. "i'm here, my sweet girl."

"you know," you forced these words out, eyes unfocused and dazy as you made an attempt to smile at his terror stricken face, "now's my turn to do the 'when i'm gone' talk. you already had two chances."

"NO! no — no, no," he shook his head, eyes blurring ever so slightly as the chaos over the comms became white noise to him. "we will never be having his conversation. ever. i'm supposed to go first and it'll be me. i don't care if i have to fight the fucking grim reaper for this, it'll be me and never you, you hear me? never — never you."

"when i'm gone," you continued as if he didn't practically tell you that he'd fight the devil if you went first and held onto his hand just a little bit tighter, as tight as your wounds would allow you to, "i want you to continue to invite simon around."

"darling — "

"no, please. i know you both and i know you'll just go away from the things that remind you of me and i don't want that," you talked quietly, your voice dipped in pain and john used his free hand to apply more pressure on it and when you didn't really wince or made a move to recoil back, his panic grew. "you both will remind each other of me and i don't want that to just hurt you more. invite him over, have tea, talk shit about me and — and just, keep him company. keep yourself some company."

"none of that is happening because you're not going away," john spoke sternly, his eyes determined and so confident that for a moment, he himself believed that you'd walk away from his alive and breathing. "we have years ahead of us and someone needs to be with me to make fun of riley for liking that stupid sitcom."

"i want you to be happy, dad," you continued, eyes fluttering close and stay shut for me even a longer time now and john panicked. "always happy."

"only when i have you," he shook you awake, your eyes shooting open at the motion and he almost cried in relief. he set you firmly against the wall and withdrew his hand from your grasp to talk over the comms. "lads, how's it looking?"

"positive, i believe. how's our miss soldier doing, sir?" gaz asked and john heard the occasional shower of bullets from his side and figured they were still stuck in the crossfire. "any damage to that billion dollar outfit of hers?"

"well, it's stained with blood now, so," john replied dryly and could feel gaz draw in a sharp inhale at that and figured he'd be out of the harm's way soon. "keep me updated."

he knew ghost was nearby, could feel his boots echoing in the almost empty hallways down the corridor and knew that you both were safe and secure. it was only when he looked away from the corner and back towards you that he noticed your limp hands and the way your head was slumped forward. he hands shook as he cupped your face and called out your name, almost hopefully.

"darling? honey, you gotta wake up," he spoke, almost inaudible and his own voice sounded foreign to him. it sounded too hollow and he hated that it looked like he had already accepted that you were gone. you were not. "come on, love. don't do this to your dad."

his hands were shaking terribly and blood smeared across your cheeks but he didn't care. all that he cared about was that you were there, still and so silent in his arms and you were not answering him. his could feel his heart break. he could make out exactly where it hurt him physically as he repeatedly called out your name and you did not respond.

heavy footsteps sounded from behind him and he didn't have to turn to know that it was simon — ghost, in that moment. he didn't have it in himself to turn. partly because you were here in his arms right now and if he turned, you being gone would be reality and he didn't wanna face that. partly because he didn't want simon to see you like that. blood trickling down the side if your head, face smeared with blood and a wound in the abdomen. no, john wanted simon to remember you happy, smiling and alive.

he wanted simon to have that much, even if his own last memory of you was you begging him to stay happy after your death.

and he thought about it. as he cradled your body close, rocking back and forth, he thought it was simply impossible. as if he'd ever be happy again without you here.

he didn't notice simon walk closer, didn't see him walk around to crouch in front of him and only realised that he was here when he called out his name. he couldn't even hear it clearly, high pitched ringing in his head and blurring images in front of him, the feeling of your blood on your hands, it was all just too much.

" — tain? captain?" simon called out, his eyes locking with his and john knew that it costed ghost his everything not to stare at you. his skull mask laid discared next to him, his signature balaclava in its place as he kneeled down. john could see the way his hold on his gun was too loose and the way his hands were trembling just the slightest bit as placed his gun back in his holster. "we need to get out of here."

"doesn't matter," john replied, his voice not giving away the turmoil in his heart and the war that was going on in his head. "she's gone, ghost."

"cap — "

"my daughter, she — fuck, my kid," john exhaled shakily, his hands carefully pushing away the strands of your hair out of your face. "lord, i don't have a child anymore."

"captain — "

"you don't get it, i'm not a father anymore!" john exclaimed, his voice breaking in the middle of the sentence as reality settled in. the weight of it seeped into his bones and he knew that he would carry its weight for the rest of his life. until he saw you again. "i'm not a dad, anymore."

he couldn't let you go, couldn't place you down and let you be gone from him. he couldn't accept it and why would he want to? what kind of father would he be if he just accepted that he was never going to hear someone call him 'dad' ever again? he'd never hear the words 'i love you, dad' or 'good morning, dad' or see your face smiling at him after he came back from a particularly long and stressful deployment or have you hug him whenever you got a nightmare or drink tea with you and simon as he joked about your relationship with his lieutenant. how was he going to accept this cruel and wretched version of reality?

"you'll always be a dad, captain," simon spoke quietly, his hand reaching out to smooth your hand down and just like his own hands, john noticed that it shook. "always gonna be her dad."

john couldn't do anything except watch. he tried to move, his mind screamed at him to move but his body caged him down. the dead weight of you — his daughter — weighted him down and for a moment, he was so sure that he'd feel this weight for the rest of his life. because, how was he supposed to forget the way you asked him to be okay after you? how was he supposed to be okay after you?

how was anyone supposed to be okay after you?

he blinked, eyes stinging with tears that he refused to let down and looked towards simon who was too quiet. john looked at him, watched him as he leaned down until his forehead was pressed against yours and felt an invisible knife twist around his heart. he could see the balaclava move and figured he was saying something to you but the ringing in head refused to let him hear anything, though, he thought that he heard the words 'come back' and 'don't do this to me' and felt his heart break some more. he had never — never — seen his lieutenant look so hopeless. so defeated. not when he found out that you both had broken up for some indefinite reason, not when he got injured on a mission and the only thing he asked for was you, not when you had made it your mission to paint his nails and only relented after his nails were a shade of wine red.

no.

john had always seen ghost so full of life around you. he had always seen his eyes crinkling at the corners as he spoke to you in low tones, always seen his shoulders dropping from their usual tense posture whenever he was around you. he had always seen him as simon around you.

john looked at him and realised that not only did he lose his daughter, simon lost the love or his life. he lost the one thing and one thing only that made him the happiest. he knew simon loved you even though he hadn't said the words out loud out, he knew he loved you. it was evident in the way only you were allowed to hold onto his mask for him as he adjusted his balaclava, in the way he always listened to you speak about anything and everything under the sun and never once interrupted you, in the way he always brought back something for you from his missions, ranging from a rock to a dried flowers.

john looked at him and realised that at any cost, he'd have to make it through this, for simon. for your promise.

for you.

he nodded, not trusting his voice to say anything and moved to stand up, your head lolled against his shoulder as he placed his hand under your knees while the other wrapped around your shoulders. he stood up as carefully as he could, as if any movement would cause you discomfort and held on tighter to push himself to be on his feet and — you whimpered, your wound pressing against his vest and your dad stilled, frozen alongside simon whose eyes shot towards your face as you stirred, your expression scrunched up with pain.

it didn't take more than a second for ghost to abandon his gloves and check your pulse as you went still once again, forcing his hands to stay still. john pretended not to hear him whisper 'please' under his breath as he placed his hand on the side of your neck, mainly because he knew he would break down if simon didn't hold himself together.

he looked at ghost who nodded and then he was already off, walking swiftly in front of john and you as he put on back his gloves and drew his gun to clear out anything that could show up, making a path from their corner to the evacuation point. john walked as fast as he could without jostling you and mumbled rapid apologies as you groaned in pain.

"we're heading out," ghost informed soap and gaz who were on the other side of the floot, drawing out any left hostile parties left. he filled them in your condition and in less than thirty seconds, they were running towards the three of you, panting and guns drawn. "she has already lost consciousness and we need to get her back."

john could only walk wherever ghost turned, his movements a bit too robotic and as they cleared out the building, the only thought he had was you, your safety, your life.

he doesn't remember much of the ride home but judging by the blood — your blood — on his hands and clothes, and the number of times gaz asked him if he was okay, he wasn't sure if he wanted to.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

"so, i pass out from the pain and blood loss and your first guess is that i'm dead?"

"well, when you put it like that — "

"there is no other way to put it!" you laughed, instantly regretting your decision to do so as the action pulled on your stitches. "fuck — that's a bit dramatic, don't you think? did you even check my pulse?"

"listen — i was not thinking. my girl was just laying there in her own blood, what was i supposed to do?"

it's been more than a couple weeks since you've been discharged from the hospital, stitches in your abdomen and the side of your head but it's mostly inconvenient rather than painful if you could be honest and john and simon both know this because you have expressed this opinion far too many times.

john and simon both disagreed.

you wish you could say that they had toned the whole scary-guard-dog thing down ever since you got discharged from the hospital but you'd be lying. if anything, their protectiveness dialled a few notches up. if your dad was busy with something, simon stayed with you and vice versa.

now, your dad was protective. you had always known this. if you thought that there was no way he'd be able to get more protective than he was before this whole ordeal, you thought wrong. you weren't allowed to get up from your bed unless it was to stretch your muscles — (simon volunteered to help you with that. you dad threw his boot at him. thrice and then one more time for good measure.) — or to use the bathroom. you were on strict diet for the first week, mainly consisting of fluids and lots of proteins alongside the years' worth of medicine you had to take. he stayed home, officially on leave until he was sure you wouldn't collapse after standing for more than seven seconds and then he stayed for an extra week simply because he wanted to.

("i think i can pick up the remote without popping out my stitches."

"'m not talking any chances, kid.")

and then, there was simon.

if you thought that there could be no more increase in the protective measures after your dad, simon set out to prove you so wrong.

he stayed with you even after your dad went back to the base and that meant he stayed with you. you couldn't move an inch without his hand coming up to stabilize you — you told him you didn't need it, he disagreed — or just straight up pushing you back to sit down, gently and doing whatever you were out to do. it made your life just a tad bit difficult but you knew this was coming from a place of love — and fear.

"i'm okay," you smiled softly at your boyfriend, hands intertwining with his as you both laid on the couch while your dad worked in the kitchen, occasional shouts and gasps announcing his continued presence. "i'm okay."

"the fuck? you are not," simon's eyebrows were furrowed and you fought the urge to lean up and kiss the spot until he relaxed, partly because it would put pressure on your stitches and you did not need another lecture on basic medical knowledge by your dad and your boyfriend again. "don't make me tie to your bed."

"don't threaten me with a good time," you laughed softly at his blank stare, squirming away as he poked one of almost healed bruises. "fuck you."

"you're injured, not now," you could practically feel the smirk behind his mask and gave him the best unimpressed look you could. "stop lookin' at me like that."

"when was the last time you slept?" you ignored his advances and slapped away his hand that was coming up to tug you towards him, looking him in the eye. "you look worse than me."

"i'm breaking up with you."

"no, you're not."

"no, i'm not," simon sighed, his hand coming up to run through his grown blonde hair that he had intended to get cut — not by you because he doesn't trust you with scissors anywhere near his head. "i slept last night."

"liar," you narrowed your eyes at him, taking in the dark circles around his eyes and the way his eyes were droopy and how his eyes remained close when he blinked. "i heard you watching that movie you told me you hated."

"i was not — "

"simon," you sighed and he stopped speaking, knowing he was in for a lecture from you about his sleeping habits and his biological sleep cycle — something you wasn't even sure existed in his body. "love, why haven't you been able?"

he stayed silent, his hands fumbling with your hands and twisting your rings around your fingers. he almost smiled when he noticed the ring that he had made for you on your ring finger, a small 's' in the middle with a semblance of a tiny heart next to it.

"haven't been able to," he replied finally, his voice gruff with faux annoyance directed at your ability to coax answers out of him just like that. "too much going on."

you knew what he meant by that. the last couple weeks have been hectic to say the least and you couldn't help but feel guilty about being a part of the reason for your boyfriend not being able to sleep. "i'm sorry."

"shut up, what for?" he rolled his eyes and placed a fleeting kiss to your cheek, very near to your mouth before leaning back. "i'd take a few sleepless nights over your bleeding out any day."

you didn't say anything, just tugged on his arms firmly enough to make him get the hint and settle back into the mountain of pillows you had brought down from your room. he looked at you, a confused look in his eyes but complied as you pulled him towards yourself and wrapped your arms around him, smiling when he nuzzled into the crook of your neck and finally, relaxed. he pulled back just for a moment, one of his hands coming up to squeeze yours when you frowned at the lack of contact while the other one pulled away his mask, leaving his face bare.

you had seen his face many times but each time, you found yourself falling in love more and more. you knew each and every scar that adorned his face, every inch of uneven skin. you had spent nights kissing all that he thought made him ugly and promised him that he thought so wrong. you said nothing as he looked at you once again, eyea squinting at you playfully before he was back in your arms.

"i love you so much, you know that?" you whispered, your hand playing with his hair. you could feel him press feather light kisses to your neck, his breath fanning over your exposed skin making a trail of goosebumps and you didn't mind it one bit. "you know that right?"

he hummed in reply, pressing himself as close to you as he physically could. you didn't stop playing with his hair, knowing how much it relaxed him and soon him, he went completely still next to you, his grip on your loosening just a bit as he went slack. you couldn't help but admire him when he was like this, his face free of the usual scowl that he pulled up with him at every table, the furrow of his eyebrow that you always kissed, the frown that he had whenever anyone spoke, it was all gone.

you didn't hear your dad come in, a tray of three steaming cups of tea in his hands and settled it down on the centre table, proud of himself. he picked up your usual cup, strawberries drawn on it with a few daisies in the middle spaces and gave it to you, smiling softly before turning to look at simon — who to his surprise, was fast asleep against your shoulder.

"he's knocked out," john remarked, making a mental note to make another cup of tea for simon whenever he woke up and settled back into his designated chair adjacent to yours. "never saw him this... relaxed."

"yeah, well," you sipped out of your cup before placing it on the side table, eyes flickering to simon's still figure before looking back at your dad, a small smile on your lips, "he's been pretty set on not letting me lift a finger."

"he's worried about you," your dad nodded and you couldn't help but feel your heart flutter. "never seen him so out of mind. you know he loves you, right? he would fold the earth in the half if anything happened to you."

"i know, dad," you replied, eyes locked on simon as he slept next to you. you could see his chest rising and falling with every breath he took, his lips slightly parted as he breathed in and out evenly. "i don't even know how i'm supposed to tell him just how much he means to me. i don't know where to begin."

"he knows," he stated, sipping out of his own mug — with small yellow crowns — and setting it back down. "you'll both make it, you know? don't need to see the future to figure that out."

you knew what he was talking about.

you'd make it. of course, you would. it was simon who held your hand randomly while you walked around your town. it was simon who made sure that you were always stocked up with your favourite candies and chocolates. it was simon who learnt how to make paper rings because you were singing that song about how you'd marry him with paper rings. it was simon, always.

and even if this lifetime was enough for you, you knew that you'll find yourself falling for him in every other life. in all the universes out there, in every version of reality, you'd find yourself in love with him. you knew this much, you felt it in your bones.

maybe in another life, you would've seen him from across the bar and he would've sent a drink your way. maybe you would've ran into him at a coffee shop and he would've asked you your favourite blend. maybe you would've been childhood friends and he would've always been in love with you.

it would always be you and him.

"yeah, i know."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

[dapperinsanity]

An aroace-spec’s personal thoughts on Alastor & Representation

This is purely my opinion and I wanted to share it as it’s been highly bugging me.

Personally, Alastor was always bad representation for me. If you feel like he’s good representation that’s fine! This is purely my opinion and I want to discuss some red flags I’ve noticed. It all has to do with the reasons behind why Al is asexual. I’ll make a small list of my main points and I will expand more on the points below later.

According to Viv Alastor is aroace because…

He was made to be a tumblrsexyman and then Viv thought it’d be funny to make him asexual.

While, personally, idgaf about fans shipping Alastor or making smut…Viv’s comment (“I don’t wanna ruin anyone’s fun”) before confirming his identity was just not it.

According to her own words, Alastor is too focused caring about himself (don’t remember if she used the word narcissistic but I remember mentions of narcissism) which is why he wouldn’t be in a relationship.

In the earlier years, we only knew he was asexual. Yet, everyone acted like it meant he was aroace. Which was fine but I need to point out that just being asexual is different from being aroace. This, in itself, isn’t a red flag. It’s how viv talks about his asexuality.

Ok, so I think it was recently confirmed he is aroace after his show va “slipped up” saying he was aroace and not asexual. I’m not sure but if he is, I only see his asexuality discussed amongst viv and other people involved in the show.

Why is the only asexual/aroace character a “villain”? I’m all for aroace villains and queer villains. It’s when you take other things that she has said, I can’t help but be suspicious.

So, why do I think Alastor being made asexual as a tumblrsexyman is a red flag? Well, him being ace and a tumblrsexyman isn’t bad at all. My concern is that Viv thought it’d be funny. Knowing the type of person viv is (bigoted, racist, transphobic, misogynistic, fatphobic, etc.) his asexuality is a joke. Also, let not forget about the fact that she doesn’t actually care about representation in general. If she did care, she wouldn’t be acting the way she is and wouldn’t portray her characters the way she does.

Secondly, her comment before confirming his identity on stream was…dismissive? I can’t find the correct word but her caring more about pleasing the fans, further proves my point in how she doesn’t care about actual representation. You know what she could’ve done? Confirmed it. The fans still could have fun doing whatever they want with Alastor in their fanworks. Its fandom. It’s not canon and fandoms are meant for works that don’t stick to canon. Like, you’re the creator and you decide on what’s canon because it’s your character…Bruh.

Third, she mentions that Alastor is too focused on himself to be in a relationship. First of all, asexuality doesn’t equate to not desiring a romantic relationship. There’s a difference between just being asexual and just aromantic versus aroace. Secondly, why is his asexuality related to his vanity/selfishness? If you don’t desire a relationship because you’re too focused on yourself, that’s not asexuality. Asexuals and aromantics are highly stigmatized and conflating his selfishness with his asexuality perpetuates aroace stereotypes.

Fourth, is the lack of discussion about his aromanticism. If he’s confirmed to be aroace, why do we only talk about his asexuality? Because being asexual doesn’t equal to being aromantic. One can be asexual but be in a romantic relationship and vice versa.

Fifth is the fact that the only aroace character we have is a “villain”. While I’m fine with aroace villains and queer villains, when you observe why Al is aroace, I can’t help but to side eye it. Aroace people are often stigmatized as heartless and cold or treated like a monster due to their lack of attraction. I feel like this only adds to the stigma.

So, yeah that’s why I feel like he’s bad rep.

[hashtagboykisser]

Hii can you write the hosts with an idol reader? like a popular one

HOST CLUB X READER !!

IDOL READER !!

prompt: hosts with idol reader

requested by: anonymous

warnings: you didn’t specify whether it was poly or monogamous and if you wanted a oneshot or headcanons so I’m just gonna do headcanons :) i’m also taking this request as like one of those japanese singers so hope that’s chill!!

TAMAKI SUOH:

tamaki thinks it’s literally the coolest thing ever

he wants to go the whole nine yards to support you!

he’ll be sure everyone goes to your concerts/events, buys your merch, etc!

he tries to be like your own personal mori senpai but he’s just too sweet XD

HARUHI FUJIOKA:

haruhi is probably the most laidback about it

she’ll go to your stuff and support ya

but her opinion of you doesn’t change because your an idol yk?

she might feel a slight pressure becuz of crazy fans but other than that she’s chill!

KYOYA OOTORI:

i think kyoya personally actually is really chill about it on the outside but in the inside he is kinda scattered

like he’s worried about how both of your reputations could or will get ruined by the two of you being together

ultimately he wants the best for the both of you, no matter what it is, but he wants u to know he cares

he also is really big on you getting the respect that you deserve

by that i mean he will D E S T R O Y any haters who wanna fuck with you lmfao

TAKASHI MORINOZUKA:

definitely the most nervous about it, no doubt in my mind

similar to kyoya, but i think he’s a lot more nervous about it

he goes to all your concerts/events as a security guard fs

gets really worked up at times because he doesn’t always know how to help you with this because it’s very new to him

HIKARU HITACHIIN:

this might be a bit surprising but he is definitely the least worried of out the boys about how people see you two

he like, has a idgaf attitude

the best believe this bitch will be jumping and screaming at your concerts

he also loves wearing your merch like everywhere

he also probably designed and modeled it with kaoru but yk

KAORU HITACHIIN:

kaoru wants to help you in every sense of the word

he’ll advertise, design and model your merch, go to your concerts (either as a security guard or a fan), etc!

he doesn’t worry about the public eyes idea of you too much, but it’s definitely a thought in the back of his mind

i can see him begging for any kind of sneaks peeks for your upcoming works xD

MITSKUNI HONINOZUKA:

honey (as we all probably know) isn’t as immature as he may show, he’s pretty darn smart

so i think he takes a lot of things into account when it comes to your idol career

although yes, he does love and support you and your dreams no matter what

he is also one of the boys who gets nervous a little

i think he worries a little bit about your mental state because being as popular as you are can get a bit exhausting

so he always makes sure you sleep well and have some cake :)

hey hey

it’s hermy

sorry i haven’t posted in a bit

i’m about to update my page!

after i get my next two requests done!

so be ready becuz i’m adding more fandoms and things i’ll write!!!

-hermy<3

[jenoutof10]

Can I ask, if you have top favorite romantic couples (can be canon or non canon) of all time from any media? Why love them? Thx :D

hi! this is kind of scary to answer HAHA but im trying to remember that this is tumblr... not twitter. actually, im not that much of a shipping fan in the way i dont go looking for ship content, but i do enjoy seeing content ppl make of them if they appear on my TL lol also im privy to a pairing with design compatibility and are easy on the eyes so lots of these have that as a strong reason

satosugu (jjk)

surprise surprise. a lot of the plot for jjk happens because of the events in 2006 (spv/hidden inventory arc), i really like how gege told their story and how their characters are then built upon the events that befell on them. the parallels between them really interests me, but theres definitely more qualified people to explain their dynamic than me LOL. who doesnt love a good white/black trope! plus the jjk fandom is big enough for there to be amazing content made of them, so no shortage here. there was a point in time before my bllk phase where i was so obsessed w them that everything around me started to remind me of them, i cld not listen to a single song without acquainting it to them.

chosoyuki (jjk)

in the simplest way i can explain, their dynamic is basically...

atleast that's what i got from their interactions while protecting tengen! at the same time, they're both really strong so it makes for good balance. plus their designs are really neat together! strong cool biker gf and alt aesthetic bf (who loves his lil bros)! i like them as partners in crime and tbf i think id go ballistic and wld rip someones head off i see yuki kissing a MAN. but i wish yuki could carry choso bridal style off into the sunset after they murder kenjaku and live in a picket fence house

soukoku (bsd)

im horrified of the bsd shipping fandom but the whole ex-partners thing is amazing cause you get the "i hate you, i know everything about you, every night i think of how i would kill you, i understand you better than anyone else, i see right through you." their relationship is insane to me, like idc romantically or platonically it just works so good...

here are ships that i love but dont think really need too much explaining!

haruhi x tamaki (ouran)

yuki x machi (fruit basket)

i hope no one attacks me but idgaf abt tohru and kyo PLEASE just give me them

mitsuri x obanai (kny)

AHHHHH!!!! mitsuri who had tried to change herself to fit other people's standards, obanai who always accepted every part of her. obanai who hated women bcs of the twisted household he was born into, eventually found mitsuri and she was the first one he thought to be BEAUTIFUL AHHH!

beidou x ningguang (genshin)

im excluding any other genshin and hsr bcs im particularly scared of those fandoms LOL

[enj4s]

ִֶָ𓏲࣪ . vampires wrecker 𓆩 axxturel and vampyx 's wife .𓆪

✧ call me ENJI !! she her. dom reader blog. 19. 18+ blog! minors dni or do, idgaf <3

╭────────── ☆ · 𓆩🤍𓆪 · ☆ ─╮

August 27.24 ♡ ! requests ; REQUESTS are closed ;< (school started and I feel suicidal, you can request anyway! and I'll surely keep 'em to write later!♡)

╰─ ☆ · 𓆩🤍𓆪 · ☆ ──────────╯

ִֶָ𓏲࣪ . YES! CONTENT I WRITE FOR:

⋆ ̊。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ̊。⋆ ☆ smut, fluff, angst, dom reader, male and female reader. omega verse.

ִֶָ𓏲࣪ . NO! CONTENT I WILL NOT AND DO NOT WRITE FOR:

⋆ ̊。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ̊。⋆ ☆ sub/crybaby, shy reader (don't even), mommy/daddy kink, piss or shit kink or whatever yall weird asses call it, vomit kink, pedophilia, pregnancy, ect.

⋆ ̊。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ̊。⋆ ִֶָ𓏲࣪ . FANDOMS I WRITE FOR :diabolik lovers, creepypasta, mha, tr, nu carnival, demon slayer, Naruto, DB, blue lock, just request and I'll see :3

─── ˚୨୧⋆ WORKS ! ♡

୨♡୧ TOKYO REVENGERS :

⊹ ࣪˖⁩ Dumb whore | Mikey (Sano Manjiro) x fem dom reader.

˖ ࣪ . Sweet girl | Hinata Tachibana x fem dom reader.

⊹ ࣪˖⁩ Tokyo revengers with a mean s/o (takemichi, mikey, mitsuya, baji, hanma) with a mean and stoic s/o.

˖ ࣪ . Judged too quickly | Tokyo revengers x reader. (toman, hina, emma) P1.

⊹ ࣪˖⁩ Judged too quickly | Tokyo revengers x reader. (Kisaki, hanma, kazutora) P2.

୨♡୧ DIABOLIK LOVERS! :

⊹ ࣪˖⁩ vulnerable vices ♡ | Sub! Reiji Sakamaki

⊹ ࣪˖⁩ hopeless♡. | Sub! Reiji Sakamaki

⊹ ࣪˖⁩ vampire boy, bite me in the moonlight. |Subaru Sakamaki x fem! dom! reader.

─── ˚୨୧⋆ OTHER!? (THEMES, HCS) ♡

୨♡୧ THEMES :

none yet >_<

‿̩͙ ˖︵ ꕀ⠀ 𓆩 ♡ 𓆪⠀ ꕀ ︵˖‿̩͙

⊹ ࣪˖⁩ Anons !

⋆.˚⊹ ୨୧ . ⋆˙ claimed emojis ! :

📷

credits, dividers that I use are by @anitalenia ♡ @ioveartfilm ♡ @animatedglittergraphics-n-more !!

[ladymorghul]

The marketing tactics for season 2 is ridiculous. I get it, they pander to the majority of the fanbase and that majority is TB, but why increase the level of toxicity in this already extremely toxic fandom? Everything for the money, I guess.

And I find it funny that in the recent promotion material the TB actors, especially Corlys, Rhaenys and Daemon, are literally talking shit about TG, like, "we are better looking", "we are better people" , "the greens hate each other, and we are united" the cringe "we are the thoroughbred" by Matt... The actress who plays Rhaenys literally called TG characters a bunch of knobs lmfao. And all TG actors are allowed to say in their favour are things like "we have bigger dragons"😒. And where are Otto and Helaena? Rhaena is there, but no Helaena? Anyway, this could be seen as the actors simply having fun and making references to the "arguments" used by Twitter and Reddit fans, but given the recent reactions, they failed to pass the message. Or the writing got to the actors, too. Idk, I may be overthinking this, but I'm not even looking forward to this show anymore and have a bad feeling regarding s2. I think that the green fans who still fully believe that TG characters and storylines will be done better in the next season are set up for a big disappointment.

yeah, i saw the new promo thing... i felt it was a bit cringe but what bothered me was "we are better looking" and "we are the thoroughbreds".

the first one is such a bad taste comment and instant sideeye, especially considering that even actors must have heard about the gross ass hate that tg actors, esp olivia and emily, have gotten, and the second one is just dumb considering rhaenyra's children and mother.

and not to be the bearer of bad news because i already knew this, but there will never be much green promo from green actors. tgc has always shared tb stuff along with tg stuff and seems relatively uncomfortable with greens from a morality pov imo, and olivia mostly just does rhaenicent promo and that's about it.

i think the only person who had actually tried to get the green fandom a little pumped up in the past was ewan but there was not much to work with considering the lack of interest from the production.

tbh i'm currently in a very much idgaf phase so i'm like meh. i invested too much energy in this toxic fandom and ultimately none of this matters.

i will probably get back into it as we approach s2 but honestly people should accept this show IS good guys vs bad guys and IS rhaenicent centric and all the talk from the writers or actors is silly when we see the actual product on the screen.

waiting for dunk and egg though. hopefully we can move away from team discourse for a while.

[aerodaltonimperial]

Hookhausen Prompt Swap: Happy 1st Handshake!

Sooooo it’s almost the 1st anniversary of the Hookhausen handshake that changed the world (or at least our part of it). So we’ve decided, to energize the fandom and give us all something to keep our minds off things while Danhausen is benched, we are going to run a prompt swap! Here’s the QUICK AND DIRTY RUNDOWN--

All you need is a willingness to create something - be it fic, art, a moodboard, anything! - and 3 prompts. Submit your 3 (three) prompts by Sunday, April 23rd, and get 3 random prompts sent back to you! (Timing on that is a little fuzzy; if you submit while I’m sleeping, like, idgaf, but essentially, by the time we wake up at 7 AM Eastern American time Monday morning, you gotta have ‘em in cause we’ll close it down.) We’ll aim to get prompts out by April 24th!

Then you get to see what inspires you in the set you get! Prompts can be anything as well - see the sign-up form for more information on specifics (and just a feeeeeew rules. I promise they are easy!). The form requires only a Tumblr handle, and doesn’t log emails at all, so you can be safely anonymous. Except you, Max Caster; we all know who you are.

🪝🦷 SIGN-UP AND PROMPT FORM HERE IN BIG LETTERS SO YOU CAN’T MISS IT 🪝🦷

The deadline is also fuzzy - we want this to just be a fun, creative thing, but since the anniversary is May 11, that’s sort of the soft deadline (if you want a deadline because you work best with a fire under your ass, I see you, so that’s what it is). When you post, you can post anywhere (like AO3, of course) but we would love if you also posted here so everyone can find things! We’re using the tag #HookhausenAnniversary so we can find each other’s sweet-ass stuff.

ANYWAY WE ARE REALLY EXCITED AND WE HOPE EVERYONE CAN HAVE A BANGER OF A TIME MAKING STUFF AND ALSO WE LOVE THEM A LOT AND MISS THEM KIND OF LIKE WE WOULD AN ARM (too soon???) LET’S ALL COME TOGETHER AND MAKE JOY.

[dennisboobs]

i know peace bc ive never used twitter it seems like ur torturing urself a bit

yeah. but honestly if i can make like. one person stop fucking harassing glenn i'll take it. idgaf about these idiots qrting me trying to make fun of me, i don't want them anywhere near my twt (free blocklist) and they'll forget about it in an hour anyway. but some people have seemingly genuinely thought about it and agreed after a little pushback. it's mostly a bunch of teens who want to be edgy or think glenn has no feelings because he's a C list celebrity with a nice house. i don't think many people bother trying to push back against the accepted culture over there and most of them seemingly don't even think about it. i don't know why but twitter culture just. expects you to be incredibly fucking rude to celebrities on principle even if you like them. and this is. encouraged. and applauded. i think its disgusting, and ive been on the receiving end of parasocial relationships that had people getting overly invested in me and my friend, completely fucking obliterated any boundaries and speculated about our genders/sexuality/relationship so its. kind of personal. i hate to see it and i can empathize with glenn to a degree. especially when like. you compare other clips of him at cons or even on the podcast where he's WAY more reserved talking too deeply abt queer shit vs those encounters with fans, the guy was having the time of his fucking life with a bunch of superfans who let him know how much they care about his work. i really, really wish that we were on our best behaviour and a bunch of fucking 15 yr olds who have never been called a slur a day in their life and don't know the weight of their words weren't creating a hostile space for both sunnytwt and for glenn. why do you, as a fan, not want to be able to interact respectfully with someone you admire? why do you not want to treat him as a human being? like there's a difference between deifying a celeb vs being fucking respectful. it's not like this is elon musk it's fuckin. glenn. like he is so. just a guy. treat him like one. i can't help but feel bad when 90% of what he sees from fans are people in the comments of his posts bullying him. like why would you not want this man to know how insane he makes you on a daily basis. why are you so afraid of expressing genuine emotion that you have to harass him. bc its cringe to say you like sunny? that's the extent of his fucking interactions with fans. of course he's stoked to talk to fans who have actual love for the show. he probably never fucking sees it. and you know. its frustrating to see people who were THERE. interacting with him in person. now doing this shit. my own mutuals were doing that shit. i follow like 6 people on sunnytwt. its just. accepted. idk. i don't know how to phrase this in a way that makes sense but if you enjoy glenn's interactions with the fandom so much maybe dont fucking push him away. if there are a bunch of ppl qrting his old tweets with what seems like actual literal hate. idk. id start deleting if i were him. like there are just zero fucking boundaries and it makes me mad. why would you do this shit when you could take advantage of him being accessible and tell him how much sunny + dennis means to you instead.

[coffincest-philosophy]

crazy how cannibalism and satanism will go unnoticed but people will draw the line at incest. it’s supposed to be messed up like what do you expect?? also fiction ≠ real life.

personally? idgaf what the antis think about the ship because . they’re both hot af and ashley is so me coded hejej

your blog is super cool btw and i’m considering buying the game to play for myself

Yeah fandom is... interesting.

Honestly I mostly try to just block people and stay out of arguments. Arguing with people about fandom issues just makes me have a bad time and I'd rather spend my time online enjoying the things I like instead of getting heated over them. I've been part of tumblr fandom for over 10 years now, so my points of view on fandom drama are much more in line with older fandom.

I don't touch the "proship vs. anti" stuff with a 10 foot pole because I think both sides of the argument have been watered down to mean absolutely nothing. Antis have a different definition of what "proship" means than proshippers have, and proshippers have a different definition of "anti" than antis have. So at this point, to me, it's mostly just an argument about semantics, and that gives me too much of a headache to participate in. I stopped using twitter because of it since tumblr, although still not perfect, is a lot better.

My main point of view on most fandom drama boils down to: I can tell the difference between fiction and reality, but if you are someone who can't distinguish that line then it means you shouldn't participate in fandom for your own safety. At the end of the day, our brains all work differently, and we have no right to police others because of how our own individual thinking works. Block and move on, if you stop having a good time and it begins to effect you irl, maybe fandom isn't a healthy choice for you.

ANYWAY! The game is super fun and I totally recommend it! I'm actually not a fan of video games (normally I just watch lets plays) but I really enjoyed playing through the two chapters that are out so far and I can't wait for more to come out!! Hopefully you get a chance to play it!!

Also yes, Ashley is very hot. I want to thirst over her from a distance though and I hope she's never within a 1 mile radius of me for my own safety. Ashley, I promise I'm a lesbian and I have no interest in your greasy brother.

[frankenjoly]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @cursedvibes thanks!!! i love these things

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

68 but for Reasons (a fanweek i'm very hyped for), it's gonna be 69 next week.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

287,330 (and counting ofc)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly bsd, jjk & a bit of genshin, but i throw in ficlets and/or one-shots of other stuff to let Thoughts out.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Connecting the dots. silly pre-canon fluff and humor won people over after arcane's s1 finale.

Between the pages: part 2. mix of bsd ficlets/drabbles, bcs i love doing small thingies (i'm already finishing part 4 laksdjflk).

Misread. aka jealuc from barbara's pov, aka humor that stemmed from a teensy lil angst.

Remnants. more of me letting thoughts out after arcane's s1 ending, this time timebomb with pining Jinx.

Por el amor de estepresidente... the bsd crack fic (or my first one, at least), in which Mori and Fukuchi sort of ally to crash fukuzawa's date with any 3rd person but are also competing against each other.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do, bcs i either have the need to thank ppl or ramble about the fic they're commenting on (or both).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably Remnants, though i intended to go with the "it's not/won't be unrequited" vibe.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'm a pussy and a slut for happy/hopeful endings, so i have those by the ton aldkjfl.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

not hate per se, but i've had complaints about tagging all ships from the start in my genshin ficlet compilation... when i was gonna throw them all into ao3 in one sitting.

also that one person who came to one of my Utahime Week fics, who was tagged as both gojohime and shokohime, to tell me "nooo shokohime are just friends yadda yadda" while praising gojohime as canon (i love it too, but it isn't). it was odd.

9. Do you write smut?

i have this thing when it comes to nsfw in general and smut in particular, aka up to certain point it makes me uncomfy but below that idgaf and even go like "nice, my ship having sex"... so.

most i can offer is barely-explicit stuff, and for fic specifically i see "depictions of character bein horny" and "pre- and post-sex" rather than actual smut.

10. Do you write crossovers?

not a lot, but the bsd+jjk thingie that came from rp and also birthed the dnd-ish au got me by the throat.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

as far as i know, nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

as far as i know, nope (x2). though i do translate some rp solos to turn them into one-shots adding up stuff as well (i could just post them in spanish, but).

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i guess rp is like schroedinger's yes here? but when it comes to literal fic... not yet, but i know what and with who.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i can't choose, sorry laskdjf.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

not really a wip, but i had one Uraume-centric fic that i'm not sure if it'll see the light for... some reasons. long story short, it's based on another fic that's a roleswap and has modern socerers (and students) Uraume and Sukuna.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i apparently never run out of insp and will to write, so i can go fast as fuck. and my writing is one of the things i'm most confident about like fr.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i still feel like english nerf me, at least when it comes to narrating, bcs i cannot be as descriptive or poetic as i am in spanish.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

as someone who's first language isn't english but writes fic in english, you go ppl. and also, native english speakers can be kiiinda entitled lol.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

both for rp and my first fic ever, abc's once upon a time (that was also my first fandom being online).

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

another instance of me sucking at making choices alsdkf, sorry.

no pressure tag: @ildi-dragonheart @bungoustraypups @monday-headache @noirewaves @rhymbic @minluce @bunniezai @neonganymede @fyodorkitkat

[thesoleilla]

Flufftober Day 5: "Oh no!You're a morning person!"

masterlist Fandom: bungo stray dogs

Ship: Dazai x reader

Warning/Info: pre-existing relationship

Dazai with an s/o who is an early bird! The trauma!

Living with Dazai was a... risky decision to say the least. Not for you of course, from your perspective it was a living dream but for your productivity... it was a bit more complicated.

But the fact was... you didn't hate working at all! You had always liked to wake up early and work just as much as possible! Especially since you got your job at the agency, it was such a breeze!

You knew about how everybody said Dazai could be a big annoyance when it came to working, and it was the kind of thing you normally hated in people! However, you didn't ever understand how the others thought that about Dazai, in your eyes; he was just more on the joking side! But he never would stop anyone from working, right?

Well it was your first morning living with him, so you obviously put your alarm early, since you had work today! But of course it also woke up Dazai who was...not pleased. Not in the slightest!

When you tried to get up, something was trapping you in bed! And that something was... hands Dazai's hands and their long ass fingers  😩 

"Osamuuuuu~ I need to get to work you know! I want to stay with you too! Come with me we'll work together!" You whined, trying to escape from his strong, but loving grasp.

"Work? That early in the morning?! Oh no, don't tell you're... a morning person ?! -he dramatically gasped- Unbelievable!" He pouted, trying to get you to pity him; which was definetely starting to work.

"Yes I need to work, don't you also need to- Oh don't give me the puppy eyes- okay you know what fine I guess we can stay in bed, a -you yawned- tiny bit more..." You mumbled, your eyes already closing and your body turning to hug him.

You then proceeded to stay in bed until 1 pm. You guessed missing work was fine if you spent the break like that....

Okay these fics are getting worse and worse but idgaf I'm gonna sleep now bye

@flufftober

[oddball-artz]

I am gonna flood your inbox, just warning you now 🤗

So, you want questions? I'll give some to ya.

1. How tall is Dalia?

2. If she was granted anything she could want, what would she want?

3. Any family? If so, who's she closer too?

4. How does she feel about colorguard? Is she good at it?

5. If she was friends with one of my own oc's? Who, and why would she be friends with them?

6. Lastly, if she was dared to eat dirt for 20$ would she?

Sorry for all the questions! I wanna know more abt her, and squeeze her like she's one of my blorbos.

Here we go, in order! :]

1, Dalia is 5'6, and she's also 15 and weighs around 160 pounds just to cover bases

2, if she could have anything, it would probably be peace of mind. She's usually worried about something or someone, and she puts her concerns about and need to protect those close to her above her own needs. She wants a way to just shut out her thoughts and have the peace her epithet can provide to others, but if she tries to use her epithet on herself it doesn't work, so she's constantly seeking out ways to get that peace, but her thoughts never go away, she can push them to the back of her mind but they're always there and she wishes they weren't. (Lowkey needs therapy tbh)

3, alr family wise she has a pretty big family(so many cousins but I'll make a tree later, I promise) but for immediate family she has 2 siblings, both younger. The middle kid is Esme, and she's 9, and she's pretty close with Dalia (even though some days she makes her wanna rip her own hair out bc omfg does this kid not listen). The youngest is named Jasper, he's 8, and he's sweet, but that doesn't mean he doesn't cause trouble, it's just that when he just does it's more sneakily than when Esme does it. When they play together, it's just basically this (https://youtube.com/shorts/7EVy_Bh6lNk?si=qKcONC0YZzcMUH2b sorry idk how else to link it) Dalia regularly walks in on them being like this and is used to it at this point. Her mom is pretty distant and is constantly working, and Dalia wishes she was around more. Her mom(named Avery) also just kinda pins her siblings onto Dalia whenever her dad isn't home. Her dad(named Carter) is a stay at home dad who's trying his best. He's got a lot going on, but despite it all, he's pretty close with Dalia. They have the same sense of humor, so if you put them in a room together, they constantly crack jokes at each other. He was on drumline when he was her age, and that's part of the reason she joined guard bc she wanted to be involved with the marching band like her dad. She looks up to him a lot.

4, she likes colorguard a lot, but there was definitely a learning curve. If you saw her at her first performance compared to her latest, you wouldn't think it's the same person. She gets super nervous before performances tho (she cried because of her nerves before her first real performance) but the more performances and practice she got under her belt the better her nerves have gotten(she still gets a little panicky before big shows and parades, but nothing compared to how it used to be)

5, Prolly Sabrina, i feel her idgaf energy would ground Dalia in a way(I have a lot of friends with that energy and idk why but it grounds me, so now figuring out why is Dalia's problem lmao) They also have similar music taste(Dalia playlist coming soon) If they were friends they'd totally send eachother fanfic for fandoms they're both in at ungodly hours of the night lmao

6, short answer, no (but if you push, yes.) Long answer no, and not because she's above eating dirt for cash but because she knows she'll probably get made fun of if she does. She folds to peer pressure pretty easy tho (people pleaser) and could probably be convinced to if you pushed her about it.

(Sorry this took so long to make lmao, and tysm for asking questions about her. Sorry if this is kinda bad. I'm a better artist than I am a writer)

[aftout]

AND ALSO CHANDRELLE. was pacing in the shower contemplating her and how the fandom often mirrors what her character is literally a commentary on ITS SO DARK IN HERE SAVE ME

Sexuality Headcanon: This womand is a bi secual 😳😲

Gender Headcanon: I’ve just been going with cis woman but genuinely it can be anything idgaf

A ship I have with said character: YOU CANNOT FUCKING. GET ME STARTED. ON FREAKS OF LEGENDARIA YOU KNOW THIS. Chandrelle and Lazarus and Vallamir make me incredibly ill and EVERYONE knows this alreafy. Love triangle where they all have feelinsg for each other but they are all DOOOMED DOOOOOOOMED I SAY.

A BROTP I have with said character: CHANDRELLE AND BRYCE BEING PALS MEANS A LOT TO MEEEEE. I need to go out with them because i KNOW it would be the night of my life. They seem to get along incredibly well canonically and I can only IMAGINE that they have all sorts of things to chat about. I like to think that they have really compatible senses of humor too they make each other laugh.

A random headcanon: I still think of Arabic Chandrelle. I should think abt it MORE (in depth) but my general consensus is that she sorta got influenced by a lot of the developers who worked on Secrets of Legendaria and the one guy who was in charge of most of her animations and such was Arab so it just transferred. Does thisnmake any sense. They’re video game characters (like canonically) its kiiinda hard for me to get any more literate than that

General Opinion over said character: Chandrelle means the world to me. That thing you said in the ask about the fandom mirroring what she is commentary on is SO true and keeps me up at night. I think she is incredibly well-rounded, fun to follow, and in a sense admirable? I think it’s fun to have a character that’s arguably self destructive in the way that she is. People who demean her for acting “irrationally” and “selfishly” genuinely do not get it, and I’m not saying that as a funny catchphrase. I think she shoulf rule the world.

[craske]

I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ 👍 i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶

okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online

and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.

about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS

as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much

[six-of-ravens]

aloha friends and people who left annoying incorrect opinions on my posts, raistlin is a waif he is the waifiest waif it doesn't matter if his twin is a brick shithouse you are WRONG I am kinda sorta back. maybe only for one tipsy night, but who knows. listen, I'm 1.5 ciders in and feeling Properly Tipsy as opposed to last night when I drank jack and cokes for the first time in a while and just felt nauseous, so I'm Thriving atm. ANYWAY.

i feel like i have cleared some cobwebs from my brain. kind of. mostly i redownloaded bc i have the irresistible urge to natter about my life. tbh i considered deleting tumblr for a while bc there are some things about this site (but also social media in general) that annoy the absolute shit out of me, and also i feel like I dedicated too much ~mental energy~ to this site in the past (not to sound like some new age crackpot) and I need to cut down on how much scrolling and getting mad about other people's incorrect opinions I do. However, there are a few beloved mutuals on here that I miss talking to and also tumblr is kinda Home, y'know?

anyway TLDR I'm back, kinda. might still delete the app during the day so I can focus on IRL shit instead of being a zillennial social media addict, so I apologize if I miss messages etc but. yeah. for the sake of my mental health I have to be better at self-policing. Also, no longer going to allow myself to use the For You tab, so sorry if I don't see your posts bc tumblr only served them there. I can't control it lmao. frankly the algorithm here just ain't good enough and I don't want to cry AGAIN bc a video of a naked woman jiggling her stomach with a caption about how much she hates herself and wants to lose weight came up on my feed. Frankly since this is tumblr I'm not sure if that's porn or self-harm, but either way, fuck off with that shit, man! I kinda hate my body too and I don't wanna see that!! I don't want that in my brain!! Hence why I quit and went to ig-only for a while. My IG is all pottery and miniatures and painting and European travel vlogs it's so PEACEFUL!

now onto the fun stuff, a list of things I consider interesting that happened in the past 3ish weeks:

have done a whole lot of reading lately: Homesick for Another World by Ottessa Moshfegh which is weird and off-putting by very worth reading, then a reread of the Unicorn series by Vicki Blum (always a delight) and finishing Princess Jellyfish (there's quite the plot twist in the last few books but overall it's a delightful series), then my hold for Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk came up (extremely interesting and worthwhile read, especially after listening to the No Dogs in Space punk series, very sad ending though bc of course a lot of the punk musicians passed away young), and now I'm rereading The Mermaid's Secret and The Dragon Prince by Vicki Blum as a palate cleanser, and then hopefully I'll start the LoTR reread I've been meaning to do for a while. So yeah I read like 16 books in 3 weeks. this is the power of quitting social media.

Also I've kinda discovered that I'm just pretty... disenchanted with all book-fandoms online. it's just so...kinda annoying? nowadays? just the same old drama over and over and I don't caaaare lol. Read what you want, at whatever speed you want, idc, none of it matters. I read for funsies after work. Some people read 24/7 because being a book blogger is their career. Some people are 17 and still have the mental stamina to read a 500 page book in 2 days. Idgaf if you read Maas or Austen or Sanderson or whatever, there's no moral high ground (except maybe not giving Sanderson money bc WOW BYU is a shitty organization). Also I don't necessarily want other people's opinions on what I read or if a book I just bought has "mixed reviews" or whatever (unless the person is a mutual whose opinions I value lol). So I might start posting on the book blog again but just....not interact with booklr. Torn between the desire to communicate with others and the desire to keep my hobby all to myself and free from unnecessary judgement or bullshit.

Finally rearranged my bookshelves, by ~vibe or whatever~. Might post photos tomorrow but the living room is once again in a state of chaos since I started gardening today.

On that note, started my garden! planted some veggies, herbs, and a whole boatload of tomatoes in seedling trays (listen, MacKenzie seed were on sale 3/$5 today at the store and I'm weak for weird tomato variants and herbs. Still need to find rosemary and fennel though). Have more stuff to do, but I'm going to give the seedlings a couple weeks to get started and then maybe plant everything else Easter weekend. Last year was nice, garden-wise, but this year I really hope we don't get 30C weather in May. My allergies cannot handle it 😭

saw the Alien/Aliens double feature our cheap theatre put on and it was a DELIGHT

we also got a record snowstorm that weekend, which sucked bc it was the same week I'd had a random friday booked off (previously for traveling with my aunt, very glad that was cancelled now) so I basically did none of the other things I had planned.

also after said double feature, had to make my first 911 call. luckily I rot my brain with true crime All Day Every Day so I handled it like a pro 😤 (i am fine it was for another person, and uh, it turned out to not be so serious once the emergency people were able to get them to stop crying hysterically and realized this poor person was just intoxicated, underdressed for the weather, and a bit lost)

discovered the health foods store near my place has a bunch of funky herbal teas for like $5.50 a box so I've been going a little nuts there. I LOVE FENNEL TEA IT'S SO GOOD. ALSO LAVENDER MY BELOVED! they also have a bunch of local coffee blends, and I'm seriously considering getting a coffee bean grinder so I can try them

saw Lisa Frankenstein the week after the Alien double feature at that same theatre, it was fucking excellent I laughed my ass off, also at that theatre you can get your ticket and snacks and drink for the same price as a Cineplex ticket, it's excellent

finally watched Saltburn, which was great. love the Donna Tartt vibes. i watched it while somewhat drunk off Soju, which I think is how it's meant to be viewed.

also started a Ghibli rewatch, to justify not cancelling my Netflix just yet (I know I know, I should but I technically can afford it and it's my emotional support streamer you know? how else am I going to instantaneously watch Gilmore Girls on a bad day?) So far I have only watched Kiki's Delivery Service lol

Also, funny anecdote: last week I got my period and was VICIOUSLY craving alcohol. like I went to the store and bought the most bizarre range of random things (soju, honey jack, and mead...and then proceeded to drink them at my normal rate lmao). Realized afterwards this is a combination of my usual craving for sweet things + my very stressed coworker constantly joking about how we need to crack a bottle of something when this stressful project is finished. At the time however I thought my uterus was trying to make me an alcoholic.

Did my budgeting with my new rent and discovered that I'm actually fine, because I had DOUBLED A NUMBER SOMEHOW! and I basically had $150/month freed up. I'm so smart. I continue to procrastinate my income tax though (shhhh I have another month....)

Started writing a vague story about two women hiking to a portal to elfland, which is located near an abandoned train station. There are cultists called vampires living at said train station who are such a fucking delight to write (not real bloodsucking vampires tho, they are currently eating paella 🥘). It's fun and weird and I'm having a good time with it.

started listening to a podcast called No One Should Believe Me about cases involving Munchausens by Proxy, which is very interesting. the host has a sister with (alleged) MbP and genuinely wants to get her (and of course her kids) help, so it's actually a really good, compassionate take on an issue that's usually played for shock value. I have to listen to it slowly though bc it's Heavy

started knitting again! made 1 dishcloth and started a second. have decided I'm going to take these into work when I have a few done. If my boss won't buy us proper cloths then I'll pawn my knitting practice off on them lol

there is a lot of early road construction near my office since, aside from that random snowstorm, it's been a mild early spring. be glad you haven't had to listen to me rant about that lol

finally bucked up and got a duvet cover for my comforter that was lowkey falling apart at the seams. it's a good comforter aside from some light "my washer is evil" damage so I'm happy I can stuff it into a (less expensive) duvet cover instead of having to replace the whole thing