#<- as always hanif and kaveh make me !

[firstfullmoon]

Kaveh Akbar, in an interview for The Believer

[fromjannah]

hiii jannah. any poems been on your mind recently

Hi lucy my dear i am SO glad you asked. prepare for rambles

i am constantly stupefied and outraged at frank o'hara who was of course one of the best to ever do it!!!!!!! his style is something that i personally struggle with -- the easy personal nature, how he weaves his friends By Name so effortlessly and beautifully into his work, how he captures new york and art and love and everything so well. fuck!!!!! it's really hard for me to do that because i always feel kitschy and cringey but like. save me frank save me. "for grace, after a party" is one of my favorites of his for various reasons but i think "and when someone you love enters the room and says wouldn't / you like the eggs just a little different today? / and when they arrive they are just plain scrambled eggs and the warm weather is holding" is just. the absolute perfect pair of last lines. they make me cry every fucking time for reasons i can't even put into words. it's just love distilled. it's pure love in the plainest scrambled eggs. i'm crying again

hanif abdurraqib's "dudes, we did not go through the hassle of getting these fake IDs for this jukebox to not have any springsteen" is my poem of the Year actually. i read it right before midnight on new year's and my birthday and just oh god. i carry it in my heart forever and ever and ever. i tried reading it aloud recently and jesus fuck that enjambment is hard but it's so so good. what would i do without you hanif!!! he was actually inspired by frank o'hara's style particularly how he uses the names of his friends, which i find fairly evident in this poem!!!

my memorized poem for the month was cameron awkward-rich's transcendent "meditations in an emergency" (which is, perhaps not so coincidentally, after frank o'hara's poem by the same name -- i also own the collection with the same name, it was gifted to me by my beloved :]]) it's such a beautiful little poem, the movement of it reminds me so starkly of the wind that cameron evokes in the end. and like. hand on my stupid heart. forever and ever and ever.

anis mojgani's "to the sea". i am a terrible horrible american from a sea of parking lots and i have fallen in love dozens of times in my car! enough said.

honorary last line mentions go to alex dimitrov's "today i love being alive" ("call me old-fashioned really. / but when i cut myself shaving above the lip / i lick up the blood. i don't wince."), mary karr's "diogenes tries to forget" ("and i love you / with one hemisphere of my brain, / the dumb one, which forgets"), and as always & forever, kaveh akbar's "forfeiting my mystique" ("to the extent i am necessary at all, i am necessary like a roadside deer  -- / a thing to drive past, to catch / the white of, something / to make a person pause, / say, look, a deer.").

i love last lines of poems so very much!!!!!!!! they stick with me they loop in my head i reblog so many poems because i fear i'll remember last lines and not know which poems they're from and never find them ever again!!!! fuck wouldn't that be awful!!!!! anyway i love poetry so much. and i love love. and i love you lucy!!!! thank you so much for the ask and the opportunity to ramble :]] <333

[the-everqueen]

For the book asks: 3, 6, and 23 📚

3. what were your top five books of the year? álvaro enrigue, you dreamed of empires. to say i'm obsessed is an understatement. the way enrigue plays with tone so that he keeps the reader on their toes but also humanizes these characters that have taken on mythical proportions. i felt such grief, reading this book, that the history i'd learned erased so much about the mexicoh-tenochtitlan - in many ways cortés and moctezuma's encounter was a meeting of two imperial powers. but also enrigue brings the ancient city to life. i *screamed* when i saw that enrigue named cortés "el malinche," and malintzin went by her given name or else the name she adopted after her baptism, malinalli (doña marina). the whole book spans...basically a day, and it's a slim novel, but it's *rich.*

hanif abdurraqib, there's always this year: on basketball and ascension. hanif weaves together a love for basketball with a love for his city in ohio with meditations on god and time and faith. the technique where we are always following the countdown of the clock, suspended in those precious seconds between one play and the next, which could make all the difference - i finished this book and felt that awful fragility where you think you've brushed up against something More and been left in its wake.

juana maria rodriguez, puta life: seeing latinas, working sex. rodriguez discusses the historic and present-day conditions of the "puta" in mexico - how the category came to exist under spanish colonial empire, how it became another tactic of racialization, and how sex workers have wrestled it back as an identity that bears dignity and respect.

indra das, the devourers. a reread for me, but it hooked me. still thinking about the visceral descriptions of pre- and post-colonial india. thinking about the ways that whiteness is monstrosity. but also being the child of two cultures, the product of those encounters.

jeff vandermeer, absolution. okay so i didn't actually expect to like this one as much as i did. i thought the southern reach ended fine. but it's a prequel and it brings us full-circle and it's ALSO about that blurred moment of encounter and the ripple effects. peak creepy-and-wet, very much like the most alien parts of annihilation with all the mind-bending corridors of authority.

6. was there anything you meant to read but never got to? there's always so many things on my tbr that i forget about or say "i'll get to that later" and then later arrives and i realize i never reached for them. i meant to read the new sally rooney (which would have been my first rooney), out of a morbid curiosity if nothing else. i meant to read kaveh akbar's martyr! (and i still want to - i missed my local bookstore's copy so ordering one online has been what's preventing me.) i meant to read the new murakami but then when it arrived at the local bookstore it wasn't the mood.

23. what's the fastest time it took you to read a book? 4-5 days? it was probably the enrigue. i try not to put pressure on myself about reading as much/fast as possible - i've accepted in some areas i can be a slow reader and that's fine. i do have a fairly dedicated bit of time every day carved out for reading in the mornings while i'm playing with merri. books that REALLY grab me, i start sneaking bites every time i have a free minute.

(end of year book asks!)

[hagatha-christie]

new year new reads and also i'm now consciously trying to read a book from every country plus places like Hawaii and Puerto Rico and Greenland that should be their own countries. Anyway here's what I read in January:

I've been pretty brutal about not wasting my time reading books I'm not into so hopefully I won't have any books that fall into the "bad" category this year. Also I did read 2 embarrassing romances and tbh i'm gonna keep those a lil secret because I dont really recommend either of them

The okay You Are Here by Thich Nhat Hanh (Vietnam): I think it's good for its intended audience and it reinforced some of the stuff I've been discussing in therapy but I found it very repetitive and kind of surface level when it came to actual Buddhist philosophy. Like I wanted to know a little more than what he wrote.

A Fortune for Your Disaster by Hanif Abdurraqib: I am obsessed with his prose but unfortunately I do not think his poetry is for me! I read his other collection last year and felt similarly. I think in the future I'll maybe skip any other poetry collections that come out.

The good/great (this is always in ascending order, I feel like I need to specify that)

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor: She did a pretty good job of worldbuilding in the like 90 pages of this book, and it's part of a series so I'm really curious to continue it and read more books in this African-futurism genre. Took a minute to get used to the YA narration (is this YA? I don't know)

Swimming in the Dark by Tomasz Jedrowski (Poland): This was a little sad and a little sweet, and I liked it very much but wish I would've read in the summer because it really would've hit. More vibes than plot but still enjoyed it.

Monstrilio by Gerardo Samano Cordova (Mexico): Finally a book that was as weird as I wanted it to be! Loved the 4 POVs we got, loved how messy the characters were, loved the ending. Would recommend despite one plot point that I found so disturbing I had to put it down (the book wasn't that graphic I just let my mind run a lil wild and scared myself).

Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar: as good as everyone says. Read it.

Brickmakers by Selva Almada (Argentina): I started this book a couple months ago and had to put it down because it was soooo jarring and I wasn't prepared, which I think makes the book so effective given the themes criticizing machismo culture. It's crass and gross and really blunt but omg I have not been able to stop thinking about it, or about the final line of the book since I read it.

[tothedarkdarkseas]

Ink, diary, backstory, carnegie, dickinson, and parchment for the ask meme. Love you too

Ink and Diary - see previous ask!

backstory: how did you come to love writing?

(*Thinks* Do I love writing...?) You know, this probably reflects quite poorly on me, but I'm not sure what the best answer here is. I wrote bits of fanfiction here and there when I was younger, and I also drew fanart-- until I realized I wasn't very good at either of those things. I hadn't written anything in at least 7 years when I started writing Gorillaz, mostly off the back of my inspiration from reading Yearz and obsessing over a scummier, more realistic universe for these characters. The truth is that it wasn't quite a childhood dream or lifelong passion, it was something I stopped when I became too embarrassed by my lack of skill, and picked up again simply because I felt compelled to do it-- and indeed, like any creative pursuit, you do get better the more you do it. I would absolutely say I've rediscovered a passion for writing and I do like to entertain certain ambitions of writing a collection of short stories, but I'm also not hard-nosed in dedication to that goal. I have always loved stories, but that wasn't strictly in regard to written stories, often it was more of a love for movies and music which inspired little imagined scenarios; I wasn't always a voracious reader nor did I frequently write anything to fruition, which seems like it disqualifies me from being an authority on those things.

carnegie: what authors and/or books/stories have inspired you to write or influenced your work?

As mentioned previously, I really wasn't a voracious reader. In fact, this was and is a source of some humiliation-- having not read the classics or other things that people know and respect can make you feel like the dimmest person in the room. The awkwardness of these conversations is honestly something that motivated me to read a bit more recently, but even that was more focused on poetry and essay collections. My go-to answer is generally Joey Comeau, probably most evident in his queer-punk stories Lockpick Pornography and We All Got It Coming, but also his more gentle lingering on grief Malagash and the offbeat and sporadically poignant collection Overqualified. (I really loved Overqualified at the time it came out, so it has a special place in my heart.) I've recently read two poetry collections which gave me a little boost to begin working: Calling a Wolf a Wolf by Kaveh Akbar and A Fortune for Your Disaster by Hanif Abdurraqib. And I'd be remiss not to mention-- Yearz. Like, it surely embarrasses Danni for me to say that but it is the simple truth.

dickinson: what insecurities do you have about your own writing? what do you think you should improve on?

Sheesh, where to start? All of it, quite plainly, I don't think there is any element which could not be improved on. I always felt that I struggled with dialogue and making it sound natural, but if I were naming the damning culprit I would say my writing is more bogged down by the overwriting and underediting. I remember being younger and feeling a bit defensive of "purple prose" because subconsciously I knew I was very prone to it. To be frank, when I write a story more quickly and don't embellish much in the detail I always feel it is too sparse and not distinct, I fear it isn't saying anything that makes it unique to me-- but those stories seem to be the ones that have "performed" the best based on recent stats, which confirms that I definitely overthink this, haha. The problem as I see it is that these, er, lofty sentences are good on their own ("good" is subjective, some have definitely been Bad, but let's pretend we're just seeing the "good" examples) but when stacked together with hundreds, thousands of "lofty" sentences with similar structure, similar length and similar "impact," it can start to make the reading process tedious. I don't want to tire readers out or make them cringe at how hard I'm overcompensating for my lack of education or formal skill, and I do fear it comes across as exactly that when I write the way my brain tells me to. When I say underediting, I don't mean that I don't edit-- I edit to the brink of madness, I rewrite constantly, but I don't often have the heart to cut something out. I really don't edit things to make them more brief; I do think it's arguable to what extent brevity is good for a story, but... it's more important than my writing reflects, haha. There is some impact lost when you are too precious about unnecessary sentences, and I am unfortunately too precious about it. I don't think I'm particularly good at plotting either, as my fanfic writing has relied more on character studies than progressing actions and events, and I fear in longer form (ie: this current WIP) it will come across to the reader as meandering, aimless, and quite frankly boring. To be kinder, I know these are subjective things. I don't think all of my stories are bad, but I don't think all of them are good. I don't think any are great, and I don't think I'm at a skill level where I feel comfortable resting on my laurels or taking a swing at self-publishing. Writing is still challenging to me, and I suppose it's up to personal perception whether it is good to be challenged because it shows you're putting in effort, or whether it's a sign you don't have a natural talent for something, heh.

parchment: how often do you or your personal life influence your writing?

Fairly often, but it's generally in small, inconsequential ways. I don't try to put myself in the characters in any sort of comfort/projection way, but I also think it's unrealistic to expect nothing of yourself ends up in your writing, even if it's in the form of something opposing the character. A line of dialogue might be revised from real life, or a thought that a character has might be based on something I've thought before. Two examples come to mind-- in November Hasn't Come, the musing about Stu framing childing posters or torn up flyers to look artistic because you become self-conscious at a certain age about taping things on your wall is pulled right from my own life and my dozens of frames. I still have a hang-up about framing things I deem embarrassing without the frame. The other is a line in the WIP which may or may not end up in the final product, but I had certainly intended to use it from the very start-- a character quips to Stu about his casual pill usage that "They're not dinner mints," which is straight from a real story involving a loved one and painkiller abuse. I loved this quote because it's got that touch of grim humor about it that really suits my type of fiction, but it is in fact real. (Now that I've said it I'll try my best to keep that interaction in the final product.)

[arckhaic]

CALEB. U WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL BEING. don’t be scared, i’m intrigued by all ur recs! i’ve already read and loved the sanderson and night vale stuff (i listen to the podcast too and oOF, it’s been a favourite of mine) & i can already tell we have similar taste so i’m excited to check out ur other recs :’) since u mentioned podcasts on writing and poetry tho, what would u suggest? i listen to Scriptnotes but i’d love to know abt more! thanks so much 💖

i’m always scared, that’s just a fact about me. 

ah! well if you like brandon sanderson then i’d also suggest checking out …. the poppy war by r. f. kuang, long way to an angry planet by becky chambers, ancillary justice by ann lecke, and anything by n.k jemisin — i’ve not read them but i’ve heard really good things by ppl who also loved brandon sanderson. 

for niiiiight vale, house of leaves by mark z. danielewski maybe? lovecraft perhaps? uhhh annihilation / southern reach trilogy by jeff vandermeer …. i’ve read the first half of annihilation and it was p good so far. 

for podcasts, i highly recommend writing excuses! ( guess who’s on it … brandon sanderson … lsdufh and several other writers. ) it’s very very good!! i would suggest starting with season 10 …. they really cracked down on how to write and at the end they give little exercises you can try out. 

also story break where 3 hollywood writers turn an idea into an epic movie pitch. the jar jar one?? i’d watch the h e l l out of that. some are flops but like it’s pretty interesting to see an idea to a full fleshed pitch and listen to them edit it and make it better. it’s silly but honestly it’s interesting!!

versus podcast with two absolutely amazing poets danez smith and franny choi — i haven’t listen … to all of it?? but they interview several poets such as kaveh akbar, hanif abdurraqib, eve ewing, fatimah asghar and others! and franny choi is probably one of my favorite poets ever of all time. edit: they’re currently on break but like a good time to catch up!

poem a day … simple, easy, one poem every day. this is really good if ur just not … reading enough poetry? listen to someone read it sodugh excellent 

short fiction podcasts are also fun such as beneath ceaseless skies ( my fav but the narrator may not be everyone’s cup of tea ), lightspeed, podcastle, strange horizons, clarkesworld ( i don’t like this narrator ): idk i just don’t like her voice ), uncanny magazine are all excellent should you ever want to just listen to some fiction but don’t have enough attention span to read an audiobook 

but like for funsies, i also listen to tanis, rabbits, critical role, the adventure zone, aaaand lore!! 

& ur so welcome!! hope you find something u like!! (bc then u can cry abt it w me)

[anoellesparks]

Best (Subjective) Books of 2017

FICTION

Lincoln in the Bardo – George Saunders

The Vanishing Princess – Jenny Diski

Wait Till You See Me Dance - Deb Olin Unferth

Difficult Women – Roxane Gay

The Teeth of the Comb and Other Stories - Osama Alomar

Isadora – Amelia Gray

The Week – Joanna Ruocco

I Remember Nightfall – Marosa di Giorgio, collection translated by Jeannine Marie Pitas

Temporary People - Deepak Unnukrisksn

Big Lonesome – Joseph Scapellato

The Grip of It – Jac Jemc

Motherest – Kristin Iskandrian

Sour Heart – Jenny Zhang

Frontier – Can Xue

The Sarah Book – Scott McClanahan

Her Body and Other Parties – Carmen Maria Machado

Little Fires Everywhere – Celeste Ng

The Book of Joan - Lidia Yuknavitch

The Red Barn – Nat Baldwin

The Woman Who Lived Amongst the Cannibals - Robert Kloss

Eat Only When You’re Hungry – Lindsay Hunter

The Changeling - Victor LaValle

Crybaby Lane - Laura Ellen Scott

The Dark Dark: Stories – Samantha Hunt

Sing, Unburied, Sing – Jesmyn Ward

Always Happy Hour – Mary Miller

NON-FICTION

The Invention of Angela Carter – Edmund Gordon

A Woman is a Woman Until She is a Mother – Anna Prushinskaya

Dear Friend, From My Life I Write to You in Your Life – Yiyun Li

The Book of Mutter - Kate Zambreno

Dying: A Memoir – Cory Taylor

Caca Dolce – Chelsea Martin

We Are Never Meeting in Real Life – Samantha Irby

Killers of the Flower Moon – David Grann

Sunshine State – Sarah Gerard

Sorry to Disrupt the Peace – Patty Yumi Cottrell

 POETRY 

House of Lords and Commons - Ishion Hutchinson

Whereas – Layli Long Soldier

Certain Magical Acts – Alice Notley

Don’t Call Us Dead: Poems – Danez Smith

Debths - Susan Howe

Hacker – Aase Berg

Calling a Wolf a Wolf - Kaveh Akbar

 BOOKS I HAVE NOT YET READ BUT PRETTY MUCH KNOW WOULD OTHERWISE MAKE THIS LIST:

 Tales of Falling and Flying - Ben Loory

They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us - Hanif Willis-Abdurraqib

The Odyssey – translated by Emily Wilson

Hera Lindsay Bird – Hera Lindsay Bird