#<- My guy I feel ya. I'm not even on T but my hormones be way out of wack

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Going Through Changes

🩸Previous Parts Here🩸

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: ABO dynamics (knots, slick, heats, mpreg), alpha serial killer/hitman Dom, omega mob boss Kells, cursing, insults, threats, very recent murder, slightly graphic description of kills, awkward conversations, Kells in denial, boys trying to be mature, ish, kisses, teasing, almost fingering, getting caught, enemies to lovers 💣 Rating: mature with a hint of explicit

All ideas helped by @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker 🖤

The ride home was strange to say the least. Dom was still riding high after having his urges met- though a little disturbed he hadn't been able to complete his entire ritual. It was a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that- one, he hadn't actually killed the one that pissed him off, and two, it hadn't been done exactly right. His elephant necklace felt heavy around his neck though it weighed almost nothing. He knew it shouldn't bother him especially because he'd been seen and accepted by his mate… or so he'd felt while in the building.

They'd held each other and shared come-down kisses until his knot let them separate. The moment the omega was free he smiled at Dom before the Alpha watched the mask fall back in place. They got dressed in near silence as Colson called someone. The cleaners he said, that way they could go ahead and leave. They were expected somewhere and had already lingered over an hour. The killer was sure it would be fine. Tom liked methodical activities like packing.

Dom assumed the facade would drop away once they were safely hidden in the back of an oversized SUV but something was obviously on his lover's mind and he was scared to push. He was a mate though, wasn't he supposed to help his omega with his thoughts? Was he supposed to ask? Talk? How did people do it? It wasn't as if he had a good example, he knew enough to know his duty wasn't to punch his partner in the face like his dad would have his mum. Though his lip still twinged from where the other man had backhanded him the night before.

“You gave ‘em me address yeah?” He finally spoke into the darkened car. There wasn't even music playing. And he was supposed to be the sociopath here? He picked at a string on the seam of his pants and waited to see if he would get anything in return but all he heard was a soft noise he assumed meant ‘yes’. “Do… you want me to stay at it?”

Kells huffed and furrowed his brows, finally turning to look at the guy he just helped to kill two people under his employ. The boy he'd just let bite him. The psycho he could still feel inside him every time he moved. Shit he was still full of his cum, he could feel it soaking into his pants and probably staining the leather seat. He could see worry in Dom's eyes and he knew he was pulling the same shit he had for the last month. Or more. “Why the hell would you ask that? I just asked you to move in. You think I'm such a bitch I'd let my pussy talk for me?” That hadn't been how he had meant to react. Fuck.

Dom took a breath and shook his head, his fingers moving to his neck to fiddle with the charm there. Hormones or just his mate? He was starting to wonder. “I fink we was boff caught up in the moment and I don't want to make you feel suffocated. You used to living on ya own and now you gonna ‘ave two new people, fhree so-”

“I will rip your dick off if you finish that statement.” Kells growled and he internally smirked when the Alpha crossed his legs. He should know better, Col enjoyed that part of his lover more than that. “Are you saying you were caught in the fucking moment and you don't want to move in with me?” He was surprised at how scared of the answer he was. Dom had become his only way to sleep. His safety. His damn home no matter how much it annoyed him.

“I been living wiv yas. Jus’ wiv’out me clothes which ain't been fun. Course I wanna move in. We making a family. I jus’ don't want you to realize I'm a cunt over summat small like I leave the toofpaste cap off.” The boy shrugged. He was trying so hard to be honest.

“Do you leave the cap off? Cause I can train that out of you.” Colson half teased, he was sure he could easily break any bad habits the other man had.

“Not on pur- tha's not the bloody point! I got ADHD, sometimes I'm dumb. Wha' I don't want is you ‘ating me.” He took a chance and dropped his fidgeting hand to his mate's lap, hoping for Col to meet him basically halfway.

“See? I told you who the bitch is here. I'm not upset with you dumbass, I'm just upset. I feel like I'm fucking up everything with work and I probably don't have long before I'm outed.” The omega sighed and took his lover's hand in his own.

“So you can admit it?”

“I was meaning the fucking bite on my neck. It's pretty obvious you're an Alpha.” He was lying of course but to himself just as much as to the other man.

“Alphas mate. Sure it's rare but…” Dom shrugged and trailed off, he was trying to support his badass boss bitch but it was hard because he didn't want to add to the lies Kells was telling himself. If this was how he worked on accepting their fate he would help as much as he could. Without half truths he hoped.

“I know. It'll be fine, I'm just… I don't know. Not used to this shit.” He laughed mirthlessly. He didn't want to make Dom think he wasn't happy with him but he couldn't even navigate family relationships, how was he supposed to figure it out with him? With lots of sex preferably but they couldn't exactly use their bodies to work it out in the back of a chauffeured SUV. “What's freaking you out right now?” He decided to ask instead, the fingers of his free hand tracing the mark he left on the boy’s arm.

Dom knew Colson was trying and he was starting to see this was how the omega opened up. Basically every time they shared the Alpha had to open up first. “Tha’ you scared of wha’ you saw or summat. Tha’ you refinking us. Tha’ you pissed about the bite. And…” He sighed. If they were going to work he had to be honest. “I didn't kill ‘em right. It's fucking wiv me.”

Col nodded as he thought, he tried to give it a moment and let everything filter through before he answered. He looked up his lover's cases after their first meeting so he knew what monster was after him. It's why he'd felt safe since. Yungblud was fucking terrifying- the crime scene photos on Tom’s blog were a Jackson Pollock of blood. Glasgow smiles showing broken teeth, so many small cuts, and deeper ones showing bone. It was methodical but the finishing touch of his pachyderm charm burned into the victim's skin was an almost comical cherry on top. All that nightmare fuel he knew but he also knew the why. “You don't scare me and I'm sorry I interrupted. I'm not rethinking you, asshole. Did you not catch me helping at the end? Even saying that though and knowing I need you, it changes a fuck ton in my life. Plus I might be gaining a pet psycho but I could be losing a lot. But please don't feel like you can't do whatever the fuck you need as long as you don't get caught.” It felt like too damn much, he wasn't used to talking unless it was to his mom.

“It's okay to be scared. I'm scared… I fink. I'm ‘appy too but you a big arse change. I stayed away from me sisters to keep ‘em safe from wha’ I do and now I can't do tha'. I can't leave yas.”

“Yeah but this shit doesn't bother me as long as you don't get stains on my stuff.”

“You still pissed about tha’?”

“Uh yeah, that was an expensive rug. You have zero respect for the finer things in life.”

“I got respect for you, me.” Dom smiled, kissing his mate's cheek. He obviously wasn't meaning Colson when he was talking about being scared but he didn't know how to say it without triggering another fight. Obviously their kid would grow up around violence but not the way he had. They might tease each other but there was love and they could do this right. Right?

“Stop it. We're almost there and you're not gonna say whatever the fuck you're thinking about.” Just as Kells finished his sentence the vehicle pulled to a stop. He let his mate kiss him before he turned to open the door.

“Wha' if ‘ey an Alpha?” The boy’s voice sounded so small, terrified, and as young as he appeared. Col squeezed the door handle tight as his heart started to race. His foot was already out on the ground and he could easily ignore the query. He should. He had literally just told him no.

“With you as a dad there's no way they'll turn out like them.” The omega's voice was barely above a whisper and Dom barely caught it over the noise of LA life around them. He didn't look back and he didn't say anything else, he just stepped out of the car and shut the door in his lover's face.

There was something warm in Dom’s belly trying to fill the pit that had been forming there. Something wet touched his cheeks and he had to wipe them clean. He knew how hard it was for the older man to say those words, how difficult he was finding it to admit. He almost didn't want to exit the SUV because he knew outside of it they'd have to act like that comment was never made. He took a breath to steel himself because he knew the mask would be back in place. So he was shocked when he finally joined the omega after a moment and Colson took his hand.

“Shut the fuck up. Don't give me those eyes. You're on thin ice but I'm not gonna be a dick to you in front of Tom. Dude is like scary good at what he does and I'd like to keep my money where it is.” It was partially another lie, he'd genuinely just craved the Alpha's touch after what he'd said but he couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he was needed.

The flat was chaos as they entered, but Dom could see how it was controlled. His brother had a method to his madness and he couldn't fault him. That would be hypocritical as hell. As he shut the door behind him his mate pulled out his phone and he watched as Kells ordered someone to bring a U-Haul truck to help. The man might not be able to say the word love but he could fucking show it. As soon as he was done he was backing the boy against the wall.

“Mmm, ‘ello luv.” Dom smiled, his arms wrapping around his partner's waist to tuck his fingers just inside the back of his pants. The combined scent of them was like perfume on the man, he couldn't help but wonder how drenched he was between his legs.

“‘Ello.” Colson tried to fake his accent but it was atrocious even to him. “Ya know… I haven't been here before.”

“No you ain't.”

“Which means I haven't been to your room.” Kells hummed, flicking his tongue over the Alpha's plush lips. He could feel Dom growing hard between their pressed close bodies already and he ground his hips harder just to watch those jade eyes flash red.

“You right. Wanna see?” The boy didn't know where this conversation was going but he was starting to understand where it ended up. Them naked and panting and tangled together on his mattress. He just hoped he wasn't too judged on his décor.

“I do. That also means your poor bed has never been christened properly and you're about to abandon it. Isn't that shit tragic?”

“Y-yeah. Should- we should-” Dom's voice broke off in a whine when Col reached for his arm and tried to press his hand deeper in his slacks. “Fuck- so wet for me.”

“Don't get too big an ego bitch, most of that is your cum.” Kells laughed before it turned into a gasp. His mate's touch teased between his folds and exploded his hole with a surprisingly sure touch.

“I dunno about tha’. Fink ya pussy is begging for me.” It was rare for Dom to feel safe saying something like that but he wanted to try being more secure. The only problem was they'd both somehow forgotten they weren't alone.

“Boss?” Mod’s voice was dripping with awkward trepidation.

Colson just dropped his forehead to his mate's and cursed under his breath. “God damnit.”

“That's what you get trying to fuck in the front room like horny brats instead of helping me pack.” Tom's gentle chide surprisingly made the other omega laugh.

“Can someone explain what the fuck is happening?” Poor Mod, Tom hoped they didn't kill him for their mistake.

Author's Note/Tags: @iamnotanearthlingmotherfucker @hollywoodxwhore @jaxbreaker @fenoy7 @cole-way-iero28 if anyone wants tagged let me know 🖤

Sorry these have been a little shorter, I haven't been feeling very well. And I know I'm covering a lot of one day but it's an important one I think. We'll move on soon. I love them trying so hard to talk stuff out but still being catty with each other. Poor Mod, let's hope they let him live (I think Tom might enjoy him too much) I hope you're all enjoying it 💣🖤

[normal-thoughts-official]

i'm not trans but i want to write trans magnus, what are ig the dos and don'ts? (only if you dont mind <3)

i don't mind! happy to reply to those. altho i'll be real, there's a lot of stuff, so it's a bit hard, which is why i'd say that my first tip is to have a sensitivity reader (even better if it's multiple). i even offer to do that, more trans magnus content is what i want! so i'd tell you to consider that

i'm going to make a list, but i ask you that first of all, you try to understand the reasons why i'm saying what i'm saying (i'm trying to outline them as clearly as possible) instead of just taking it as a checklist of what you're supposed to write or not. the most important thing is that you understand why certain things are/can be harmful, and approach them accordingly. there is rarely ever going to be a rule like "EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU DO THIS THAT'S TRANSPHOBIC". it depends a lot on the story and how you do it

(sidenote: of course there are things that ARE always transphobic, like using men in dresses as the butt of a joke. but that's not the case for most things, and I hope this kind of very obviously transphobic trope is already understood to not be a good thing doiajdsoija)

other than that, i think the first things that come to mind are the following (i'll try to have more do's than don't's cuz i feel like giving you a path to follow is more helpful than paths NOT to):

DO research about transphobic tropes in media and make sure you understand why they are harmful. that's a great way to avoid the most glaringly obvious Bad Takes™

DO try to understand your character's identity as much as you can. are they a trans man/woman? are they nonbinary? if they are nonbinary, what do they identify with? you don't have to have a fully fleshed out identity, but at least know whether they lean more towards neutral, fluid, multiple gendered, outside of the gender binary, etc. if you want a culturally specific gender, KNOW WHICH ONE. have details. and do your research on that. i don't recommend doing that if you don't know exactly what you're talking about

DO try to incorporate the character being trans into your understanding of their backstory. did they have help from their community? what was that like? how did that influence other parts of their story? when did they realize and when did they come out? being trans is going to have an impact on a person's story, so the more you know about that, the more you can build a character that feels real, not a cis person with "trans" slapped on their forehead

however, DON'T have their entire backstory and life be about them being trans. that's not how it works with anyone. you want to understand how being trans intersects with their life, not reduce everything about them to being trans. your goal here should be to incorporate the aspects that are related to that person being trans and the ones that are not into one thing that feels cohesive, because that how it works

DO wait until it's pertinent to mention the fact that your character is trans. it's kind of *sigh* when the fic starts like "Magnus Bane (who is trans) was buying groceries". that feels like what i just mentioned in the last don't: everything revolves around him being trans. you don't want that. if it only comes up halfway through the fic, then it only comes up halfway through the fic. i actually think that's kinda rad because it really normalizes a character being trans, but it all depends on what the rest of the story is like

DO approach their transness like any other element in the story. if it's a light-hearted story, you don't have to approach their transness from an angsty perspective. that doesn't even necessarily mean u can't approach transphobia as a topic, but it's just weird when the whole fic is happy and upbeat and then suddenly there's an on-screen transphobic microaggression and the person is very sad, and then back to upbeat. if you really want to broach this topic on your light-hearted fic, you can do it in ways such as "*flops down on the couch* god, i'm exhausted. some asshat tried to pick up a fight with me today" you know? again, i'm not saying "don't talk about X or Y subject", you just don't want the tone to be completely different from the rest of your story. it feels not only like his transness is out of place (which alienates the reader) but also like just... bad writing, i guess you don't have to take that as an absolute rule, just... as with anything else you're writing, make sure that it fits the story you're telling. if it's gonna have a different tone when u mention something, know why and how you want to do it

DON'T feel obligated to approach every aspect of their identity/backstory/everything they face as a trans person. it's good that you, the author, know it, so you can even know what is or isn't important to mention. but you don't have to give the reader a whole exposé on his transness. approach what's relevant

DO include them making jokes, puns about being trans, having other trans friends, etc. it just feels more real and we do all that all the time. it's just unrealistic for a trans person to hear the word "transparent" and not crack a joke (with people they feel safe with, of course)

when you do mention them being trans, please DON'T treat it like a big deal. when the whole narrative stops so you can mention that a character is trans, it just feels like their transness is a spectacle for a cis reader. similarly, if the reader can tell that their reaction is supposed to be like "*gasp!*" it just feels like trans people aren't supposed to be seen as normal. i'm talking specifically about how the narrative treats it here, not necessarily what happens in the story. you could have a scene where the character comes out, for example, and then of course this is going to be a big deal for them. but there's that, and then there is "magnus bane put on his binder. that's right, hE IS TRANS!". a trope i wouldn't call harmful but that i particularly hate and turns me immediatelly off any story, particularly, is the thing where the character is like "I put on my binder, getting ready for school. I am trans, and anyone who has a problem with it can fight me". no one thinks about how they are trans every time they do anything that's related to their transition. that'd be exhausting. you don't brush your teeth and are like "that's right. MY TEETH NEED CLEANING! i want to avoid caries, because i am human and that might happen"

DO try to think of every element of how they express their transness in relation to that character. you don't have to outline the reasons in the story (that'd be exhausting) but don't just go "well, magnus is trans, therefore he wears a binder and a packer, wants surgery, and [list of Transmasculine Traits™]". WOULD magnus want a binder? WOULD he want a packer? remember that those things are all choices, not a checklist that determine whether or not you're trans. each trans person is an individual, and thus each trans person's relationship with their transness and how they express it is different. so treat your character as such

DON'T make him being trans something that is only used for sad things!!!!!! again, i'm not saying "you can't approach transphobia", but if him being trans only comes up when it's to bring Bad Things His Way, it just feels like being trans = bad for you. know what i mean? try to mention it in neutral or positive ways more than you do in negative ways. a few things that i think are positive: you get to choose your own name, you get to rethink every bit of how you want to express yourself instead of just following a script, you get a lot of friends who Get It, you have the jokes about all the guys named Skylar, the flag is cute, transitioning feels so good! every new thing is a discovery. coming out as trans and transitioning is very liberating, it feels like you are so much more real. sex feels a lot less like a scripted ordeal when you have a completely different relationship with your body, i feel like trans ppl naturally communicate a lot more about sex and explore a lot more of different ways to touch their bodies even when they don't necessarily have genital dysphoria. the puns and jokes are also a nice bonus. the slang is so fucking funny. you learn a lot about your body and hormones and the such just from having friends who hormonize and looked up every detail. as for neutral things, just being like "magnus put on his binder" is a neutral thing. it's just a part of his life! when you only remember that a character is trans because they are going through violence, it just makes people scared of being trans

and i guess those are the most important pointers? just, don't make trans identity a whump thing and remember that not every trans person is the same, build that character just like you do any other. if anyone wants to add more stuff, feel free to! i have a tendency to forget to mention or explain certain things (like "don't make trans ppl the butt of a joke") because to me they are obvious and i forget that they aren't obvious outside of trans circles. i have very few cis friends (that's something that makes a difference too) so ya know. diajsda

another tip i think can be helpful is, if you're uncertain whether or not something sounds natural, try to imagine that instead of talking about a trans character, you're talking about a person who wants to be a mechanic. when you're building a character who wants to be a mechanic, that can be part of a super angsty backstory about how they lost their parents in a car crash due to a car malfuction... or not. it can have relevance to a certain point of the story, or not. it can fit naturally into this part, or it can feel like you just really want the reader to know that the person wants to be a mechanic. it can be integral to the plot, or it can be just another thing about that character. you know? that sounds kinda lame, but i think it's a good way to try to think about what you're writing without all the pre-conceptions and pressure not to Fuck Up Your Representation. idk, something to try out and consider whether or not works for you

if you have any questions, let me know! and ask other trans ppl about their perspectives too, i'm just one person. if you want a sensitivity reader, i'd really be super happy to help :) just DM me, or whatever you feel more comfortable with

[pre-t-advice]

i dont know if youre the right person to ask this, but i'm just curious: how long did it take for you to get on T? I've been out for about a year and I'm just starting my HRT appointments on the 30th...I'm really nervous because I've heard stories from guys ranging from starting T within a month of the first appointment to having to sit on a waitlist for up to a year. I'm in Massachusetts if that helps. I'm honestly just getting anxious because I'm almost 21 and i want to get the most out of it

well I’ve been out as trans to my family for about 2 years now. I first started trying to get T in July/August. so it took me about 8 or 9 months to get my first shot of T, but my case was a bit special because I was under 16 when I first started trying to get T.

this was a very long process spread out over a long time because the people around me kept either telling me untrue things, keeping things from me, or hesitating to get me on T because of my mental health (which I think is bullshit tbh. T has done nothing but tremendously help my mental health and I now despise all of the people who tried to delay this because they didn’t think I was ready for it. if they had let me start sooner, a lot of problems I have had would have never happened. but oh well)

I started off going to my primary doctor and asked ger if I coukd start T. she said she wanted a letter from a therapist. my mom and I found a therapist that could write a letter, but he wanted to make sure that she knew what she was doing. he spent a long ass time trying to get a hold of her and when he finally did, he found out that she wanted to send me to some sort of gender clinic, not give me the T herself. we looked into it and found out that the clinic she wanted me to go to did 6 months of blockers before you could actually start any hrt. I thought there would be a faster way so I said no (not to mention I started disliking her because the entire time she talked to my therapist, my mom, or I about this, she called me feminine pronouns and my deadname. I lost pretty much all respect for her)

so my therapist and I tried to find some other ways to start T like other clinics or other doctors. ya know, stuff like that. but everything was either “you have to be 16 or older for us to even think about seeing you” or “you have to wait a year for hormones because we need to make sure you’re really trans”. and since I was going to ve turning 16 in 5 months at that point anyway, I just decided that I would go to my city’s planned parenthood. I made an appointment one month in advance for my 16th birthday. but 3 days before my appointment, they said I would need my dad there even though I haven’t seen him in over a year. so we showed up to the appointment very dissapointed and expecting to just get some help with what we could do next. so we didn’t bring our information or the therapist letter (which planned parenthood requires if you are under 18). turns out we didn’t actually need my dad there and the person who told us that was full of shit. I could have started on march 20th if it weren’t for the one person who tolf us that.

anyway we made another appointment for April 10th and that month of waiting was the longest month of my life. we had everything we needed, went in, got the prescription, picked it up the next morning, and I got my first shot on april 11th.

I highly doubt other people would have this much stuff go wrong. there was actually a lot more but it’s 2 am and I don’t feel like listing everything out rn.

most important thing to remember is that this mostly depends on who you go to for the hormones and your age. good luck though, dude.

- Jonah

[plugrick]

"Oh, y-ya think?" That crude expression was putting things lightly. If Mike didn't watch his back - and his front - he was going to end up with that stupid kid attatched to his hip, finding something admirable in every single move and breath. Just like Rick had predicted. After all, who knew him better than him?

"D-don't say I-I didn't try to warn you, Mike," the old man grumbled. "Y-you're gonna need to sleep w-with one eye open once that - that stupid ball of hormones m-moves over here."

Even with the immediate threat gone, Rick was obviously still supremely annoyed by his younger selves' attempts to get under his boyfriends' uniform. He was awfully protective for a guy who could barely walk in a straight line half the time. The human rubbed his temples, as if trying to keep a growing headache at bay. "Ugh. I-I'm gonna need to bleach my brain t-to get the image of th-that little bastard riding your face outta my head. C'mon, let's - let's just go check on o-our stuff."

They started making their way back to their cell, arm in notably possessive arm, any fellow prisoner caught in their way being careful to step out of it. Rick could really get used to this five star treatment... The thought that there was potentially somebody else in here with even a fraction of the assassins' influence was laughable.

"Pfft. Who cares?" Whoever had formerly held the title of 'scariest inmate' had lost the title to Mike by now, for sure. "Listen, babe. Y-you're the baddest character in th-this joint. H-how tough can th-the other guy be? I mean... I-I mean..."

The humans' words started to falter as a strange feeling overcame his senses, the cocky attitude shedding off of him in an instant. He suddenly halted in his tracks mid-step, as if struck frozen in place, feet cemented to he spot without explanation.

Maybe the inexplicably shocked reaction had something to do with the unnaturally dark, shadowy cell they were passing. The one that Rick slowly turned his head to stare into, wide-eyed and on edge as if ready to bolt at any given second.

It... it couldn't be.

"I-I-I - i-it's - I-I'm--"

(Plugrick) ❝ do you believe in soul mates? ❞

@plugrick

“…….I think it’s a nice idea. Why?”