#<<< amen yes exactly it’s got nostalgia in it

[therealslimshakespeare]

Oh gosh, so many blurry faves actually enjoying themselves

blurry little moments + blakely looking good in the sunglasses :)

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Dolokhov Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov playlist annotations!

A note on the cover photo: I don’t really like this one but I got tired of looking at men on Pinterest so I gave up. The window symbolizes the rum window and the smoking symbolizes uhhhhh habitual bad life choices idk

Drinking game take a shot every time I say “it’s about the vibes”

Wrecking Ball - Mother Mother

“I break it just because I can”

This is THEE ‘I am going to cause problems on purpose’ song and that is like his entire narrative purpose!! Argue with me about this one I dare you

The Good, The Bad, and the Dirty - Panic! At The Disco

“If you wanna start a fight you better throw the first punch, make it a good one”

Partially its just vibes, I won’t lie. But also the consistent spoiling for a fight is very in character

Shoot to Thrill - AC/DC

“I’m like evil, I get under your skin”

It’s got I Am Morally Repulsive But Also I’ll Steal Your Girl energy which really hits all of Dolokhov’s character traits. And of course the added bonus of gun imagery.

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this”

I added it strictly for vibes, but then I realized the quoted lyric is very much him @ the Kuragins if you take the reading that he refuses to admit he actually like them but grows genuinely fond of them over time even though he initially got to know them with a lot of ulterior motives.

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

“Mama, I just killed a man”

The amount of songs that are on these playlists just for what are essentially your mom jokes since Dolokhov loves his mom so much is a little pathetic. But I’m not wrong! I can’t really put it into words but something about this song has Dolokhov energy.

Feel It Still - Portugal the Man

“Give in to that easy living, goodbye to your hopes and dreams”

A good deal of what I find interesting about Dolokhov is the internal conflict he has of knowing he’s become rather wicked and problematic but also not really trying very hard to change and almost enjoying it so a lot of the songs on here are about that, including this one. The “I’m a rebel just for kicks now” also very much screams Causing Problems On Purpose.

The Bidding - Tally Hall

“I like to take advantage of the bourgeoisie”

His whole role in volume one and two is to take advantage of the bourgeoisie! This song also oozes confidence and a sense of superiority that comes from being better than the sellouts in high society, Dolokhov’s not like other girls uwu (he really is, but I don’t think he would admit that).

Say Amen (Saturday Night) - Panic! At The Disco

“I could be better but baby it’s Saturday night”

Embracing his own wickedness! The idea that he knows he could be better than he is but he doesn’t want to take that opportunity...yeah vibes

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

“I became such a strange shape from trying to fit in”

This is the epitome of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase he goes through when he’s into Sonya. Also “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color” reminds me of Comet Dolokhov’s stupid eyeliner <3

Some Nights - fun.

“So what is this? I sold my soul for this?”

There’s a long stretch of this playlist that just boils down to “Woe is me I need to be purified” crisis hours, because Dolokhov’s oscillation between embracing his own cruelty and trying to be a good person is super interesting to me. This song captures the idea that he’s still having fun and there’s some good there, but he’s also aware that he’s losing himself a bit

Roaring 20s - Panic! At The Disco

“I don’t even know me”

“Woe is me i need to be purified” crisis AGAIN. This song gets more to the annoyance with society as a whole and feeling kind of lost in it

Send Them Off! - Bastille

“Help me exorcise my mind”

“Please purify me 16 year old girl! I’m 27 this isnt creepy at all ahahahha”. I do despise Sonyakhov but this has the vibes of a man feeling his own evil and wanting a woman to fix it. Not a great look.

Easy Days (Demo) - Bastille

“I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days”

Near the end of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase when he’s kind of drifting back to his old ways and he’s like wait no- wait- and then he does anyway because he’s horrible. I also really like the acknowledgment that his horribleness is easy and pleasant for him, and he has to fight against that (and he loses that fight HDJAJJD).

Undisclosed Desires - Muse

“You trick your lovers that you’re wicked and divine”

This is a Dolokhov/Nikolai song I do not take constructive criticism. Undisclosed desires...not being straight...lots to think about! It feels almost like a corruption arc? Nikolai isn’t corrupted nor does their...fling (?) last very long but Nikolai is obviously enamored with Dolokhov despite him being The Worst so I think this fits. I don’t have enough songs for a Nikolai/Dolokhov playlist so I just add those songs to both of their individual playlists

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

“Thanks for the memories even though they weren’t so great”

Also mostly a Nikolai/Dolokhov song. This man has never ended a relationship on good terms, huh. Also. Sighs heavily. “He tastes like you only sweeter” never fails to make me laugh when I think about it in the context of Dolokhov post-duel being like oh?? You’re just a stupid WOMAN Hélène your brother and/or Nikolai is hotter than you :/ which is not exactly what I think happened but it makes me laugh to consider. Dolokhov ur bitterrrrr

Dangerous - Royal Deluxe

“I’ll be the last man standing here, I’m not going anywhere”

I feel like this has the vibes of his cruelty, especially in that bit after the Kuragins have died when he and Petya infiltrate the French army.

Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

“There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man”

He will hurt you and kill you so violently :) It’s about the vibes.

White Wedding Pt. 1 - Billy Idol

“It’s a nice day to start again”

In the exact inverse to his “woe is me I need to be purified” phase, he’s like ok yes i will pick up bad habits again and enjoy them because frick you! I read once that this song is about a relapse into drugs, but I’m making it analogous to his relapse into Terrible Person Behavior after Sonya’s rejection. Also the repetition of the phrase little sister does something for my brain idk, after we know he loves his mom and sister it just fits.

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

“I’m on the highway to hell and I’m goin down”

Like White Wedding, it screams acceptance of his problematicness. He knows he’s cruel and evil and he revels in it. This is the phase we see him in most I think.

Back in Black - AC/DC

“It’s been too long, I’m glad to be back”

I think this plays every time he gets reinstated to an army position he lost by being reckless earlier. Just kidding sort of but listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have Dolokhov vibes. If you do, you’re wrong <3

Poet - Bastille

“I have written you down now, you will live forever”

This is just here cause he ghostwrote Anatole’s love letters and I think it’s funny. It’s MY playlist and I get to choose the barely relevant Bastille songs

St. Jude - Florence + The Machine

“Maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos”

This one’s more scattered lyrics than an overall vibe. “Each side is a loser so who cares who fired the gun” has duel energy also.

Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! At The Disco

Confession: I hate this song. However, it’s about the about the MOM R U PROUD OF ME vibes (she is. Should she be? Probably not).

Rich Kids - Bea Miller

“It’s never enough for the stuck up types”

The not coming from wealth and having to almost scam your way into being part of the aristocratic scene is very Dolokhov. Also in my mind the rich kid he’s roasting is specifically Nikolai.

Money, Money, Money - ABBA

“It’s a rich man’s world”

I’m not SAYING the wealthy man they talk about is Anatole but - [i am shot]. Scheming and clawing your way up to wealth is Dolokhovcore.

This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

I literally have no justification for this other than that i think modern AU Dolokhov would vibe with it. Look at the amount of eyeliner he wears in Comet and tell me he didn’t have an emo band phase. You can’t.

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

This is not about the words at all, it’s more about the vibes. It just sounds Dolokhovish to me, don’t ask me to explain.

Sleep Alone - Two Door Cinema Club

“They’re just ghosts and they can’t hurt him if he can’t see them”

This gives me post-Kuragins’ death vibes, and I can’t pin down exactly why? I think it’s the idea of being very alone and closed off.

Golden Days - Panic! At The Disco

I can’t put a specific lyric to it but it’s the vibes of looking back on your hedonistic youths with nostalgia and rose-colored glasses. Post-Kuragins’ death vibes again.

Go Get Your Gun - The Dear Hunter

“One foot in the grave, the other one’s kickin’ its way right down to hell”

All we see of him after the Kuragins’ death is just him being particularly cruel and reckless, almost careless. This feels like it encapsulates that energy.

The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand

“They say you’re a troubled boy just because you like to destroy”

I’m aware that a good portion of this song is about a Christ figure but I’m going to respectfully ask you to ignore that bit and just focus on all the Sketchy Things the guy does instead. Thank you. He does in fact like to destroy things! Señor Cause Problems On Purpose back at it again at krispy kreme, huh.

[mxnark]

mina’s first audition! (ft. sphere)  performing “really don’t care” by demi lovato (0:20-1:20) dancing+charisma (ft. singing for proof of charisma)  outfit (tw : slight flashing lights bc link is a gif) 

she didn’t expect a callback at all. let alone from the sphere entertainment. as she filled out her form, all she could think about was how she was possibly risking something. she doesn’t even know what it could be, but she knows that she definitely wasn’t expecting this outcome. even if the interview went well for her.

she’s texted chungha and gahyeon about the news, the former being someone in the company as well as someone who she knew she could depend on and the latter being the person to even suggest auditioning for this in the first place. she debated telling her other friends about it. hell, she debated telling daniel about this. but she holds it back, not wanting to disappoint both him and herself with the possibility of even being in the same entertainment company with her. hell, she’s trying to stop herself from thinking about how she could possibly be in the same entertainment company with the first person she texted about it.

after ten solid minutes of her freaking out over this (with an additional 5 minutes of her stressing out over how her family was going to react to this) she opens her laptop to look up choreographies that she could do for the audition. she obviously was going to do something involving dance. that was a given for sure. she debated on whether to do something for singing or rap but she ultimately decided on something singing related. while she has gotten better in her rap skills, as shown by her rapping to songs while in seoul traffic, she still felt a little more secure in choosing singing.

now was the hardest part: the song. she debates on choosing a song from an artist under the label, but she decides against it. she’d look desperate, especially if it’s a song by convex. so she decides against it unfortunately, even if she knew the choreos and the songs and raps by heart. she thinks long and hard as she finds herself looking through various choreography videos, ten minutes (...okay thirty) on watching cooking videos with a cat and mukbangs on the internet.

after an hour and a half later, she finally finds a dance that not only looks possible for her, but also with a song that brings her a wave of nostalgia. she’s not only confident about this decision, but rather excited. it makes her even go to her parents’ room in the evening while her mother is downstairs washing the dishes after dinner, knocking so that he could know.

“i have something to tell you,” she starts. “but you have to keep this secret. when i tell you, you have to promise you won’t tell mom. or anyone.”

he looks concerned and she can understand why. “it’s not something bad. i didn’t hurt anyone,” she says immediately. she clears her throat. “uh. do you remember when daniel came to tell us that he got casted into this company called sphere?”

“yes,” he slowly nods. “what about it?”

“um… so on the day i told you i went out to do studying with my friends, i lied,” she explains bashfully and she sees a little frown from her father. it’s expected, but she still couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. “i… did this interview thingy for getting casted into an agency because i really wanted to try it out and see if it gets me anywhere. and i… have an audition with sphere this week?”

the frown turns into a look of surprise. “why didn’t you tell me the truth sooner?”

“i didn’t even think i would get an audition,” she replies honestly. “if i didn’t, i’d just call it a day and continue with saying i was studying with friends. but i did! and i kinda want you to drive me to the station because i don’t want to jinx anything if i drive there on my own.” classic mina.

he nods his head. “i see,” he replies, his facial expression becoming more calmer. “when is it?”

when she tells him the given time of the audition, he takes a second to think. probably to try and recall if he had anything to do during that time. “i think i can drop you off the station and pick you up,” he replies. “just let me know when it’s over. can i tell your brother?”

she shakes her head. “no. i want it to be a surprise.” as he was always the one to surprise her. first with the mgas and then with him getting into sphere. she feels like it’s appropriate to be the one to surprise him this time.

“okay,” he replies with a little laugh. “no telling your mom or your brother.” his face goes serious though. “but if you do get in, you have to tell her as soon as you can. you know that, right?”

she nods her head. “i know.” her voice is soft, afraid of how she’d react to that, especially with the fact that mina has kept silent about it to her even now. she’s even telling her dad about it before her. she can’t imagine how her mom would react to it. “i will. i’m just… scared.”

“i know you are,” he sighs. “just know that whatever happens, god will always be there to help you get through it.”

the smile is genuine, even if it’s a small one. even if she’s not the most vocal about her faith (she has her mom to thank for that), she couldn’t help but find his words to be comforting. she obviously isn’t the best christian in the world, especially compared to her family. so just the reminder that he was… still with her was something she didn’t know she needed until now.

“thanks, dad,” she replies. “i’ll leave you alone now.”

and she leaves his room to go back to hers, a lot on her mind.

…

while she waits for her turn to audition, she makes time to give god a prayer. and it’s not exactly her first one of the day.

when she and her dad arrived at the station, they prayed together. when she got on the train, she said a quick prayer before she stuffed her airpods in her ears as she shuffled for a random song. throughout the ride, she skipped all sphere artists songs so that she could prevent herself from daydreaming about a future in that building with chungha and daniel… and the convex members.

and she makes a final prayer now, mentally saying it in her brain.

“hi god. it’s mina again for the third time today,” she starts it off. “i have my audition today and i know i already told you how much i really want this to go well. i worked really hard learning it for the past few days whenever my mom wasn’t at home. i also really want to be able to join the experience with my brother and chungha, who’s kinda like my sister.”

she pauses as she thinks for a bit, then continues.

“i’m not the best christian. but i really want you to help me out. even though my mom will be disappointed in me, i really want to do this because i don’t really know what else to do with my life.” and that was obvious. she even said it to the interviewer. “if i don’t get casted, please at least help me get another chance to prove myself in the future. preferably with sphere, but i’m really fine with any company.” and her mind wanders to another reality, but rather to the negative of it. “if i do get casted, please don’t let my mom be too angry at me. i know i don’t listen to her a lot, but i still love her. i just don’t want her to love me any less…”

“whatever happens, i know it’s for the best and i know you’ll help me get through it,” she thinks her final thoughts before she ends it with an amen and does the sign of the cross in a small subtle way so no one catches her.

…

baek jiyoung looks prettier in person than the pictures she’s seen of her. and with the fact that she is the ceo of sphere entertainment, it makes her all the more intimidating. she couldn’t help but feel as if she was in the presence of a literal queen. and this queen is responsible for the groups that she’s listed on her form. a part of her wonders if she’s seen that part of the form and if she did, that would certainly be a story to tell.

but she has to move her fangirling aside. this is an audition here. she needs to impress baek jiyoung and there’s no way she’s going to do that if she continues acting like a fangirl. she needs to act cool, even up to the dancing. of course, she’ll slip in bits of her personality here and there.

she feels pressure just from the gaze of the judges and the camera recording her, mentally telling herself to relax. she bows to the panel of judges. “hello, my name is kang mina,” she introduces herself, stating the obvious but it’s only to be polite. “today, i’m here to audition for sphere entertainment with me dancing and singing to really don’t care by demi lovato.” after she finishes, she gives a nod to the person who had her audio and gets into position, mentally calming herself down and trying to get into the mood.

it’s her first time dancing and singing in front of a crowd. to be honest, she was always used to doing the former. she only ever danced and sang when she was either alone or it’s kept in her memories from when she was a child. even if the song is in english, the language she always found most comfortable speaking in, this is still something new to her.

however, the thing about dancing is she feels the coolest when dancing for everyone else to see. the learning process for dances is difficult, she won’t deny. sometimes she dreads doing moves over and over again, but she has to in order to get them right. and once she gets it all down for the first time mixed in with facial expressions that display not only her mood but her confidence, she feels more powerful than she did before. so even if she didn’t have the most amazing voice, she hopes the judges at least acknowledge how passionate she was in dancing as well as her effort with singing.

the last time she’s performed was for speak up in may. she remembers how she was scared that she’d look awkward, considering it’s been a while since she’s actually danced in front of people at the time. but when it was her turn to dance to choreographies that she was taught, she doesn’t remember anything else but the absolute joy she felt doing it.

and even now, she finds herself smiling naturally as she performs, her nerves slightly bothering her less even with the people watching her. funny enough, it made her care less than she did before. of course she still wanted to impress the judges, but she’s confident enough that they’ll acknowledge it. and hopefully don’t get the wrong idea with the title of the song, since she did care about it enough to want to be casted. 

there were many reasons as to why she chose this song. one being the fact that this choreography looked challenging to learn and she was right when she found herself being both frustrated whilst learning it. however, the feeling of achievement is wonderful when she does moves that she never thought she’d be able to pull off. she didn’t know too much about waacking, other than the fact that it was a style she taught herself how to do whenever she could since she was sixteen. she knew it wasn’t something she was totally confident with, but when she sees herself do it in the mirror, she couldn’t help but be in awe that she did that.

not to mention, the entire dance matched with the song was something mina could imagine herself doing. she’s never had an ex-significant other (and with soobin, she doesn’t plan to), but she didn’t need a past relationship to understand the message of independence in this song. she remembers how twelve-year-old mina would often find herself smiling whenever she heard this song on the radio station, feeling as if she was on top of the world whenever she heard it. and whenever she was at home, she’d find herself listening to more of the demi album. even if she wasn’t really a fan of her anymore, she couldn’t help but have fond memories of that album and listening to this song even now brings her nostalgia.

it was fun. it was lively. it was her.

with good memories and her love of dancing, it was easy for mina to be with the music. she moves to each beat and tries her best to sing along with it, saving herself from singing the high “oh, oh, oh”’s in the chorus just so she could breathe. 

the rest of the chorus continues and she feels herself let go. she’s already young, but just singing along with the instrumental takes her back to a time where she didn’t have to worry about her future that much. sure, time then wasn’t perfect either. but the fond memories of vancouver enter her mind as she dances until the very end. her dancing slows down as she squat-kneels to the ground, eventually reaching the last “oh, oh, oh”’s on her knees with chest pumps. 

the song comes to an end as she gets to the final position of the dance, sitting on the ground on beat. “i really don’t care,” she sings while tilting her head to the side with a wink that feels natural now that she was performing. the song comes to an end and after a few seconds for the room to take it in, she stands up and bows to the panel. after expressing her thanks, she exits the studio, still trying to get off the high of performing.

the only instruction she’s told is to wait outside until auditions are over. so all she does is wait in anticipation… and, not gonna lie, a bit of hope.

[hekate1308]

Customer

Since I’ve had a very succesfull week, I decided to reward myself with more siren!Cas universe. Enjoy! 

Dean has gotten used to strange things happening, especially since he opened his own shop with the help of the demon who has somehow become his and Cas’ best friend.

Still, this is a bit much. As soon as Cas picks up his phone, he asks, “What do you know about ghosts?”

A pause. Then his boyfriend answers, “They exist.”

“I know that. I am staring at one right now.”

“Oh.” This time, Cas replies faster. “Does it want anything? Is it threatening you?”

“I don’t know. Don’t think he has the guts, considering I can see right through him” Dean jokes.

“Dean –“

“You have to admit it was too good an opportunity to miss.”

He sighs. “Alright so you are probably not being haunted. But why would it –“

“That’s the craziest thing of them all” Dean admits. “He rolled into my shop in a ghost car.”

As a matter of fact, there it is, standing in front of him, as large as nature and twice as natural. An old Jag, by the looks of it, if as transparent as its owner.

“A ghost car?” Now Cas sounds incredulous.

“I know.”

They are both silent for a moment then Dean says, “I am going to call Crowley. He’s bound to have picked up on a few things considering how long he’s been around.”

“That would probably be for the best. And please, my love, be careful.”

“Don’t worry, sunshine, I always have the salt ready.”

Dean hangs up. The ghost has patiently waited for him to finish his talk and is now gesticulating towards the car again.

Yep. Calling Crowley it is.

The demon immediately picks up but as usual they act like he didn’t. “What is it?”

“Could use your help, your Majesty. There is a ghost in my shop.”

Crowley appears in front of him before he can blink. That demon may pretend all he wants, but Dean has come to the conclusion that he’s a rather big softie underneath it all quite some time ago. “Where?”

Dean points.

Crowley turns around and narrows his eyes. “Huh. There were quite a few ghosts around in the dark ages, of course; I remember that very well; but why…” he trails off and suddenly looks oddly self-conscious. It doesn’t take long for Dean to figure it out.

“That another part of this part of the city having become something like a safe haven for monsters?”

“Most likely” Crowley, who has already recovered, answers smoothly. “Moreover, I firmly believe this is the ghost of a race car driver from quite some time ago who… needs help with his ghost car.”

“His ghost car!? But shouldn’t it run efficiently – it’s a ghost car.”

“Oh yes, but you see, there are – there were quite a few ghosts who never really understood that they were dead to begin with. I am rather sure this is one of them.”

“How do they cope with being all see-through then and people running away screaming –“

“I never really wondered about the specifics. I was a little preoccupied at the time – do you know how difficult it is to live in a world without electronics –“

“Crowley” Dean says tiredly. “You are a demon.”

He blinks. “Yes?”

Giving that discussion up as lost, he asks, “What am I supposed to do now?”

“If I am being honest… and I rarely am…” That’s probably the biggest lie he has told Dean in months, but they don’t mention it “Then I would say you should treat him like any other customer.”

“But…” Dean stops talking when he realizes that he has no idea what to say against it apart from the fact that this is a ghost in his ghost car and he doesn’t know what to do. “Alright. But you stick around for a bit – might be I need help with an old model like that.”

“You won’t” Crowley says confidently, sitting down and snapping his fingers in order to conjure up a glass of Craig, “but if you insist…”

As if they don’t know that he’d stay anyway simply because Dean asked.

And so he works on the Jag. It’s not as difficult as he first thought it would be, although it takes a lot of concentration, or his screwdriver will just slither through the motor.

“A little bit more to the right” Crowley advises him on some point.

Dean grits his teeth. “In case you haven’t noticed I am busy –“

The demon’s arms appears next to him and takes hold of the screw that’s been giving him the slip, making it far easier for him to do something. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Crowley sits down again and Dean wonders if he has had indeed so few friends in his life that he and Cas are that special to him.

At some point, his phone starts ringing, and of course Crowley picks up. “Ah, Cassie. No – what are you talking about, everything went as well as could be expected, I am staring at his bloody corpse right now – jeez, it was a joke. He is doing well. Like I said, as could be expected. Yes, he is fine. No, I am not going to leave until the ghost does. Pinkie promise. Love you, too.”

“Did he actually say that?” Dean asks lightly as Crowley returns his phone to his pocket.

“No, I am supposed to tell you he loves you, but that wouldn’t have been as much fun. Now do you think you’ll be done any time soon?”

“Why, you got somewhere to be?”

“No, just thought we and your Loreley could have lunch.”

Dean can’t argue with that. “Alright, I think I’m about done. Would you please try, sir?”

The ghost apparently understands, since he gets in the car (Dean will admit that the sight is a little unorthodox considering he can see through both) and starts it.

Dean doesn’t hear anything but the ghost appears satisfied. To his surprise, he pulls out a wallet and hands him a small sum of money. Transparent money, of course.  “Thank you” he says politely because that seems to be the only thing to do, and the ghost nods at him before getting back into his car and driving off.

“Well” he says, “That was something…”

The door opens and Cas comes in. “Was that the ghost driver?”

“I don’t know Cassie, how many ghost cars have you seen lately?”

He rolls his eyes at Crowley and steps up to Dean, taking him in with his eyes. “So everything is fine?”

“Yes. You didn’t have to come running.”

For that, it is clear, is what Cas did. His tie is once again askew – granted, that’s nothing new, but still – and he looks generally more dishevelled than he usually does. “I was worried.”

Dean kisses him. “You didn’t have to; I had our friendly neighbourhood demon looking out for me.”

“I will let you know that there I nothing friendly about me –“

“What about lunch?” Dean interrupts what is sure to become a monologue if he’s not careful.

At his question, Cas looks somewhat sheepish. “I think I left my briefcase at work…”

“Alright” Crowley sighs. “Looks like it’s going to be my treat once again.”

That would sound far more resigned if Dean didn’t know for a fact that Crowley never lets them pay when they go out, and they spend quite a lot of time together, did even before he bought him the shop. “Well, then… who’s up for burgers?”

The food in the small diner near his shop is excellent, plus the staff has no problems with serving monsters, and both Cas and Crowley don’t keep as firm a hold on their powers anymore as they did when Dean first met them. He thinks it’s got something to do with trust and relaxation, at least in Cas’ case; there is every reason to believe that Crowley just likes making people feel uncomfortable now and then so they don’t forget he’s a demon.

Today though he seems pretty amenable, and it takes Dean a bit to figure it out. It’s when he tells the waitress “Three burgers for me and my friends” that he realizes – Dean calling him immediately about the ghost is another proof of trust he is not yet used to.

“How’s work?” he asks Cas.

“It’s been quiet today.”

“Same with the shop.”

Cas looks decidedly unimpressed.

“Hey, the ghost was quiet! Didn’t say a word, did he, Crowley?”

Cas sighs. “When I leave you two alone…”

“Anyway, so do you think it means anything? A ghost showing up?” Dean asks.

Crowley hesitates; there is something like confusion and something almost like nostalgia in his expression as he replies, “I think it’s entirely possible that this is just another example of how you draw magic towards yourself, these days. Or… maybe magic is growing stronger again.”

“Stronger? You mean stronger than your mother hexing people who annoy her?” Dean jokes.

Crowley’s eyes turn red, and there is absolutely no mirth in his voice as he answers, “Exactly. You shouldn’t underestimate magic.”

Oh. It’s serious, then. Well… “Whatever, I am sure we can weather anything thrown our way.” He takes Cas’ hand. “After all, we’ve made it this far, haven’t we?”

Cas beams at him, and Dean only realizes what’s going on when Crowley clears his throat. “Boys, how about you save all of this for when you are alone?”

He turns his head to find the waitress with their food staring dreamily at Cas. Belatedly he becomes aware that “Cas beaming at him” includes his snare being out if full flare. “Hey” he says, kissing him, “tone it down, sunshine. I don’t want to have to beat the competition of with a tire hose”.

Cas blinks, then realizes. “Oh.” His snare fades. “I am so sorry” he tells the waitress, who hastily puts their burgers on the table, blushing furiously.

“No, it’s no problem – I mean – it’s alright – I –“ and she hurries away, her face still scarlet.

Dean laughs. He can’t help it.

“Dean” Cas says.

“What?” he grins. “I’m just happy you picked me of all people.”

Cas kisses him again at that, even though Crowley complains about their “obnoxious PDAs” in a half-hearted manner.

Yes, Dean decides, they will indeed weather anything that’s thrown at them, ghost cars driving into his shop or not.

[chiseler]

Imagine Electing Pete

On September 12, 2019, during the Democratic Primary debate in Houston, Texas, something strange, even epiphanous occurred. At least for me. The current Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, one Pete Buttigieg, evidently (for this was by no means visible to the eye) fell into a trance-like state and began to channel a voice that was, oddly, not of the spirit world.

The voice was that of Disc Jockey Glenn Beck, and the words were from a 2009 Mission Statement that he had composed for some extraordinary thing he'd started called the 9/12 Movement; a kind of protest/support group for those citizens longing for the rare fragrance of unity and togetherness which intoxicated all of America, we were told, on September 12, 2001; just one day after that thing happened in Lower Manhattan. "We were not obsessed with Red States, Blue States or political parties, the color of your skin, or what religion you practiced. We were united as Americans, standing together to protect the greatest nation ever created. We want to get everyone thinking like it is September 12th, 2001 again." Beck continued. "On September 12th, and for a short time after that, we really promised ourselves that we would focus on the things that were important -- our family, our friends, the eternal principles that allowed America to become the world's beacon of freedom." Amen. I suppose. Of course, how formidable the words, and how entirely sincere (or not) the sentiment may have been -- one cannot, I suspect, locate much nostalgia for that moment beating in the hearts of this country's Muslim communities, ever since marked for harassment (and frequently far, far worse) at the hands of those basking 'neath freedom's beacon -- it seems to have been a uniquely durable one. Personally, I had completely forgotten that . . . anyone . . . had told ev'ry little star just how sweet they thought everything was on that day. What I remember most Is the kind of unusually animated daze people were walking around in. The American Imagination was in high style that day. All anybody could talk about was What Happens Next, with many of these people consumed with their own, homemade fantasies of national vengeance toward those responsible. Their hearts were full, and grim. The Mayor of South Bend, as I say, appears to remember things rather differently, and one cannot question it. Six years later -- the clear sky of American unity having, for the rest of us, clouded over once more -- Buttigieg would remain so enthralled by this singular hour in Our American Story that he would leave his two jobs (it was, yes, that kind of economy) as a consultant for McKinsey & Co., and as a Fellow at the Truman National Security Project. He would enlist, voluntarily, in the United States Navy, jumping into our ongoing war of military aggression against the country of Afghanistan with both feet for a period of fourteen months. He ran numbers and drove officers around. Not exactly Audie Murphy in 'To Hell and Back' . . . or Abbott & Costello in 'Buck Privates' for that matter (if he triple-tapped an elementary school or watched our drones wipe out a house party or two, he has not admitted to it) . . . but it provided this future Presidential candidate a chance to build character (and, naturally, his resume). So, unlike a professional grifter such as Glenn Beck, when Buttigieg waxes nostalgic for those days of unity, one doubts his sincerity at one's peril. Buttigieg, during the debate in Houston, stated "All day today, I’ve been thinking about Sept. 12, the way it felt when for a moment we came together as a country. Imagine if we had been able to sustain that unity. Imagine what would be possible right now with ideas that are bold enough to meet the challenges of our time, but big enough, as well, that they could unify the American people. That’s what presidential leadership can do. That’s what the presidency is for." He concluded, of course, with, "And that is why I’m asking for your vote." To someone like Buttigieg, September 12, 2001 is a day that, I'm certain, he wishes could have gone on forever. But whatever he wants people to think, it was a day when the entire country was crouching as one, it seemed, gazing at everyone around them in fear and outright bafflement; a day that our rulers could have done (and in some senses did do) anything they wanted with us, and we probably would have gone along with all of it because we didn't know what else there was to do; a day, in other words, when our empire was never more firmly in the grasp of those who own it. Despite the loftiness of his rhetoric on the debate stage -- a mode of high school valedictorian speech he is often given to -- Pete Buttigieg is, underneath it all, a born technocrat; a classic, Eisenhower-era Republican; a creature of our institutions. He is not Franklin Roosevelt (that Bolshevik). He does not aspire to lift a frightened nation out of its slough of despond and keep its people safe from Capitalism's consequences and depredations; or anything, by all evidence, more inspiring  the citizenry than the 'Shut Up and Shop' society finally urged upon us in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. He is only here to apply for a job to manage this empire of ours, nothing more. But I can't help feeling there's something quietly monstrous about his true, evident nostalgia for that time when unity was accessible to some Americans and not to others. I had my first inkling of this a couple months back when he had to get off the campaign trail for a day or two because the cops in South Bend had been for too long conducting themselves like Cossacks under Nicholas II, rampaging with too much impunity through that city's Black neighborhoods (safely separated from the more upper class College Town South Bend is known for being), finally dropping too many bodies with too little pretext. After pleading to the national press that he had essentially no control, no control at all, over the police in his city, and every poll showing that Black voters utterly despise him, he headed over to the part of town in question to inform the residents to please stay on the line, as it were; their questions and concerns were important to him. In full Damage Control mode, Pete Buttigieg read his statement through a bullhorn to a group of women, members of a grossly victimized community, all of whom had had enough and were giving their Mayor the earful his White ass deserved. And he stood before them, this diminutive block of American cheese in shirtsleeves, collar and tie; the guy who blankly tells you he's sorry, but you're being let go and there's nothing he can do about it; standing with a bullhorn in his hand and not a hint of emotion in his voice as he droned into the instrument to his city's Black community: "I'm not asking for your vote." Some people in this country, you see, are asked for their vote; others are not. Matters of race aside -- and not much good can be said on Buttigieg and that subject; which is not to suggest, I hasten to add, that the man is racist. With his background he's probably never had to think very much about race -- one thing was clear to me: He's a real calm customer, this guy; doesn't break a sweat. Everyone says so. Smart as a whip, too. You hear that one constantly from his supporters: swooning over his credentials, his evident intellect, his grasp of languages ("Norwegian! Can you believe it?!"). It all feeds into the overarching perception of his ability to handle crises with the right character of detachment. Our media adores him, largely for this reason; and why shouldn't they? He's perhaps the closest thing to a polar opposite in this race to the dread Donald Trump without his skin being at all darker. With Pete Buttigieg as President, I have been told, we won't have to think and worry so much about what's going on in the world, the way we do now. We won't be on pins and needles, waiting to see what the President of the United States does next. We can, at long last, relax again; get some sleep. He's got this. I can understand the enthusiasm for Buttigieg on the part of those who wish to see him elected President (there aren't too many of them, if polling has anything to say about it, but they do make themselves known). I even can find it in me to share it. To some extent, anyway. There is, after all, true intrinsic value in the election, should it happen, of the first (openly) gay President of the United States; just as Barack Obama's election possessed similar intrinsic value; just as the election of our first Woman President will when it happens. It's the only, unambiguously good thing about a prospective Pete Buttigieg Presidency. But beyond that, and the fact that most of what is claimed for him is probably true, I actually dread his ever being President (that he is not the only candidate currently in the race who I can say this about does little to ease my anxiety). Last night's single file march down 9/12 Memory Lane tore it for me. I know what he is now, and no mistake. He is a living, breathing, competent, talented, educated, cultured (no Alfred E. Neuman for this guy), credentialed throwback to the brain trusts and planners of the Kennedy and Johnson administrations, Rostow, McNamara, Bundy; every Ivy League war criminal Halberstam wrote about in 'The Best and the Brightest', who cooly, carefully ran the numbers, made their calculations, and executed a wholesale genocide in Southeast Asia. Buttigieg has the potential to be precisely the kind of cool, detached, analytical monster that will tell us, sorry, but entitlements have to be cut (numbers don't lie) or, worse, successfully oversee the ongoing, unending US war on Islam while our once again fat, dumb, happy country sleeps an untroubled sleep. In that sense (if no other), Pete Buttigieg is the most dangerous of all the candidates currently in the race. He's what Noam Chomsky warned us about fifty years ago.

by R.J. Lambert

[dork-with-a-uke]

what's up my dude? how are you? i'd love for you to rate every song on pray for the wicked, just share a penny on your thoughts, which songs and/or pieces of lyrics are your favorites etc

hello my dude. i am aware u sent this in over a week ago and i’ve been meaning to answer but fact is, i’d started writing abt those songs in my journal and never finished. so i got around to finishing writing that, and i will now transcribe it (with additional comments) for ur enjoyment. im so glad u asked me tho thank u ily. 

here we goooo

1 - (Fuck A) Silver Lining

honestly, this one threw me tf off when i first heard it. no pretty introduction, this song goes straight to mf third base. grew on me though. back then i didn’t know this song was the first one off the tracklist (duh), and that makes the “to the old and to the new, we dedicate this song to you” at the beginning even more meaningful. this album, to me, is both past, present and future, with the acknowledgement of the past being v important to me bc it had never really happened before. as b said in a livestream, this record is “very honest in a way he hasn’t been”, and i think it translates. 6/10

2 - Say Amen (Saturday Night)

bold to put two bracketed songs in #1 and #2, brendon. bold move. i immediately liked this one more, when both were dropped at the same time. kenny and nicole’s (and dan’s!!) vocals are forever ingrained in my mind bc of that bbcr1 live lounge. i can’t wait to hear that high note live. ball kickin’ good. 7.5/10

3 - Hey Look Ma, I Made It

this song makes me so proud of how far he’s come. something about the melody, i think. “If you don’t know who you can trust, then trust me you’ll be lonely” is such a great line. strength in vulnerability, in the willingness to rely on others. i like it. also, i couldn’t believe the “boo-hoo” was an actual line when i first listened to it. people have mentioned how they disliked the bit when dillon comes in, but i think it adds an interesting twist. granted, the song could’ve done without, but it adds a more “modern” dimension to the song that symbolises his life rn, yknow? first the little kid w the cardboard guitar in front of the mirror, and now the grown man in front of thousands of people. idk. 7.5/10

4 - High Hopes

was pretty meh about this song ‘til i heard brendon perform it acoustically on the release stream, and then on that sirius xm live sesh? i think. felt like it all made sense then, the original, emotional meaning of this song came through the guitar strings. the cocky lyrics became hopeful prayers. this song is so much better stripped down, both instrumentally and emotionally. been trying to cover it (in vain so far. i’ll get there one day.) studio - 6/10 // acoustic/live sesh - 8/10

5 - Roaring 20s

man, this one’s the one that finally let me let out the breath i’d been holding for the first four songs. the one that almost made me cry of relief, because i always get so goddamn anxious when one of my favourite artists release music. roaring 20s, man. it has all the extravagance of being a young adult with the refinement of being in ur early 30s. the hook, the chorus. anD THE BRIDGE?? this song could be on a fuckin movie. also, the line “roll me like a blunt cause i wanna go home” is So Fucking Iconic, but can almost make me emo at the end when he says “i wanna go home”? how does he do it. and, like i said. 

But it’s Lord of the Flies in my mind tonightI don’t know if I will surviveLighters up if you’re feelin’ meFade to black if you’re not mineCause I just need a sign or a signal inside [give me a siiiign, i wanna belieeeeeve]

THE FUCKIN BRIDGE. dont say u cant imagine a concert room full of lighters swaying from left to right.  9/10

6 - Dancing’s Not A Crime

started writing this when the song wasn’t on yet and wrote “one of the ones i like less out of the non-single tracks.” well, safe to say i was Wrong. amazing beat, great brass in the background, and a tinge of nostalgia for some reason. i feel like panic tends to do that easily. happy music with a dash of “fuck, those were good times after all.” or maybe it’s just me. panic makes me feel nostalgic. it is known. for some reason, i love the line “I’m like MJ up in the clouds.” also “And if you’re night crawlin’ with him // I won’t take it lying down” KDFJHKSLJFHS 8/10

7 - One Of The Drunks

god, i love this song. the opening “welcome to the club” is so friendly, like it’s a Cool thing but u realise throughout the song that the club aint fun at all. that, followed by brendon’s solemn tone, the softness in his voice, you can almost picture his eyebrows lifting as he croons or smth. the “uncomfortably numb” will always make me feel some kinda way, i think. 9/10 bonus .5 for “i saw you lift that fuckin sax up to the microphone, and i fell in love”

8 - The Ryd Overpass

fuck, this one almost made me cry, for all the reasons you’d expect. the “someone still loves you” hit me so, so hard. he says it so cockily but it’s such a vulnerable confession? the entire vibe of the song, man. smugness mixed with longing, this shared complicity of a secret rendez-vous. everything in this screams ryden. the parallels, the little references. the slurred bridge, as though he’s drunk. “everything about you is perfect” hHHHHHHHH 10/10

9 - King Of The Clouds

eh. still not crazy about this one. this is the one single fucker that made me doubt the entire album days before the release (hence the almost-relief cry) it feels unfinished somehow, lacks drums & bass. i did think it felt rushed, and then brendon revealed that it almost didn’t make the album. to me, it shows. it’s his favourite, though. probably for a reason. 4/10

10 - Old Fashioned

if you ever wondered what a keysmash irl looks like, look no further. here is a very good specimen of me losing my shit. this entire song is just. reminiscing. seventeen years old. how it was great. swallowin’ and shit. hm yes. like i said up there, 10/10

11 - Dying In LA

this track was so perfect exactly where it was. bless brendon for liking slow tracks at the end. this song was catharsis, was release from all the emotions from the rest of the album, it was so perfect. the line “every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you” hit me right in the chest because it’s so true. this song is about someone whose dreams didn’t come true and it hurts me so much. the birds at the end made me cry the first time i heard the song because they kinda snapped me out of the trance i was in. goddamn. i can’t rate this one. heart out of ten. 

[the-firebird69]

So we're putting our Hard knock 5150 contest stuff down there and Sim contest stuff and it's just the thing you fill out and it's for a bike and or a trip and it's got a little picture there because we don't have a bike to let us put in there if we do it might get sabotage or damaged or vandalize says no it won't we can put it over there today only cuz he's not coming in and it's all too late for him to get here so I'm going to bring a couple bites in a nice looking ones too and he says not the old look people will flip out so we have a couple cruisers and they look like Harleys but they look a little smaller maybe like Sportster size and people are going to love them and people are going to want to win them and it's easier to win you have more of them and people here want to be seen as winners and lots of times they don't win contest and a lot of people other than them are winning The Sims so they want to try and win them in certain bikes and stuff and we have an electric one and we have cruisers and we have choppers we have all sorts of motorcycles every time sport bike too so really can't win a first because I think we have it covered enduro's pocket bikes and we have small bikes everything and we have like the Honda small bike too really it's kind of kind of tough yes we understood it's kind of tough yesterday so it comes up with this he's going to recreate the original Harley and Indian and then the step up to the real motorcycle look with it all new tech but the motor looks old they're going to go down there and they want to see the exact ones there they said but you're going to have to protect it from getting damaged from Brian and Jason and all the other idiots who sit there hating me a whole time and the harly guys might flipout and Chinese. The mall owner agrees and said that's actually a good deal and see if I win the contest I don't get the originals I can get the next thing and he says yeah so you're in the next on the run I'm doing that with Indian and Harley in a few other bikes that were around and he says the next rev up which would be a little bit different but he wants to skip a little we agree with that don't want to go through TDM again but we will do like the next level and it's not exactly right to the cruiser or the one in world war II but it is close and you'll see why the kicker 5150 is so popular and it's really a production run bike so it's reliable and tested out and this one is more or less a customer but we're going to do it today you might put one or two revs of each out there. In the contest would be for those particular bikes and outside as well and the contest is for also a dream trip and we can have a baby doll and her crew there but your version and selling trips for us and I also going to be getting away trips and possibly when you got over the yard picture or model and show some of the amenities it says wow someone has to win right so he's trying to get something oh right yeah so they have to come in and they have to fight the Chinese and have to fight Brian who you hired by the way so I'm trying to get pissed off at myself it's going to be learning experience and Jason and others on winning when people win and now I'm moving the condo stuffing and the campers and the cars will follow momentarily and she's going to chocolate stand she might not get kicked out just say it's over there and that's what it was by the way sounds like you have a bigger guy there and it's going to be a lot of fun cuz we're doing it right here right what we need it so I was doing things people may want to look and see what it's doing so a sudden you said this we're going to have to try and take care of your nasty nags and bring one of these hammer and the bell thing cuz Tommy couldn't be the real body to get beat up he said no he didn't win the contest so we're going to do that I can have the robot contest and everybody's going to sign up now they say it's arriving and they're setting it up and it's kind of a noises negative way prizes if people ding it you know if they pay them ring it.

Hera Zues

Well that balloon he said he just wanted to do those let me get a new bike today and it's about nostalgia and we got one set of Japanese bikes yes and they're old and they're the first ones and seeing their similar and they look exactly like the old ones so I think there might be the old ones so they want to win and they're fighting each other

Thor Freya

We got to get out of this place it's classless there's too many s*** heads too many people like the active become the act by being hit in head and it's terrible and I understand it is I can see how much fun it could be without this crap and we've been competing instead of him rolling in and that's it

Trump mall owner/ Manager

[zydrateacademy]

Retrospective Review: The Entire Mass Effect Franchise

Andromeda is coming out in a week (as of this writing) and I feel like I want to revisit the franchise. I’ve done a post like this a few years ago when my blog was new but didn’t really settle in on a style and it was kind of garbage with a lot of pointless paragraph breaks. First, some quick insight. I was born in ‘89. That means I was too late to life to be considered an “80’s” kid, and the 90’s were half over before I was able to form real likes, dislikes, or memories. It’s a strange bit of flux because most of my “Nostalgia” is usually in the form of Legos as opposed to comics, games, movies, etc.

It’s a flux that’s kind of leaked into my daily life. My family is not, and never has been particularly affluent. Every extra ten dollars we find, we think “YES. A few days of gas” or “YES. Lunch money.” We’re not poor, we’ve never had a lot of room for amenities. We update our computers basically once every 5-10 years based primarily around income tax returns. Whatever hand-me-down I get from person who was able to afford their new computer, it was always better than what I had. A problem that has recently been remedied when I was employed for two and a half years as a part-time cashier still gave me enough to buy my own completely up to date computer that will last me the next five years on its own. Stick with me, I’m getting to the point. As a result of all of that, I tend to not be able to get games as they come out. Especially not games that turn into these huge franchises. A few games hold special places in my heart BECAUSE of the very fact that I was able to start with them. Mass Effect is one of those series. I started with it on the Xbox, probably borrowing it from a friend initially and playing it in bite-sized chunks before getting it used (likely bought for me like everything else was). The story starts out well. Your character (do I even really need to name them at this point?) is on the track to becoming a Spectre, a sort of special service agent for the entire alien government. During the screening process, another Spectre goes rogue and the entire game is building up a sort of power base against him while discovering a secret of the universe that may lead to the death of everyone in it. Damn. Ramped way the hell up, didn’t it? I suppose that’s fine, as studios don’t exactly expect all their games to shoot off the way they do sometimes. Mass Effect was good for its time. A fairly basic shooter with some RPG elements, in the older days where putting a point in your skills increased damage by 4%, and other things like that. It was incremental, but it had a cool idea based around a boring mechanic. Every few levels in the huge variety of skills you had at your disposal, you’d get a new ability or some kind of boost. Put enough points in “Fitness” and you’d unlock an ability called Immunity, an active ability that reduced taken damage by a flat rate for a few seconds. It’s interesting how the following two games basically dropped that idea, gave you the same 4-5 abilities (that vary per class), called it a day, and just built everything around those. It made the second game a certain kind of boring because every playthrough was effectively the same. You hotkey your main one or two attacks and just shoot stuff when it’s on cooldown. The second game’s story went sideways rather than forward, a point against its favor when looking back at the series as a whole. It continues, presumably a few months after the events of the first game and your ship gets shot out of space and Shepard literally dies immediately. In the introductory sequence establishes that you were picked up by the Cerberus organization and basically rebuilt like goddamn Robocop. I was expecting a “We have the technology!” type dialog but alas, we were deprived. Cerberus was an organization briefly mentioned in some tiny fetch quest in ME1 when you discover a small outpost had been husk-ified. To their credit, this definitely tied into what they would end up doing en masse in ME3 but we’re getting ahead of ourselves. They come to ME2 full force as Shepard is more or less forced to work with them when the mere association makes the alien council backpedal their support for Shepard, whom they presumed dead. As a result, you don’t see a lot of them in ME2. The whole story culminates in fighting a sort of human-based reaper that the collectors (who you later discover were reaper-possessed Protheans. Christ this series is weird) have been building by harvesting human colonies just on the edge of the government’s jurisdiction. Because of this they refuse to respond to the abductions and Shepard joins Cerberus to figure out this mystery and solve it. With bullets. Or whatever the hell comes out of guns in this universe. Something something mass effect fields. The entire game is basically the Dragon Age 2 problem all over again. It feels like it takes place in a single setting even though it doesn’t. It’s mostly padding. Half the game is loyalty missions as you run around to make sure your minions are happy enough with their lot in life, so they’re suicidal enough to do the suicide mission at the end but not suicidal enough to shoot themselves on the Normandy because they’re just not quite sure their father is still alive or not. I never liked this aspect of the game. Every where I turned, someone on my team was whining about something that barely mattered in the grand scheme of things. You could argue that settling their business gives them enough drive and morality to survive the mission at the end. If they didn’t have the morale, maybe they would be too sad to move out of the way of certain bullets. I get that, morale is a huge thing and I suffer from the gain and drain of it on competitive multiplayer games. I feel it, but it’s exhausting to try and manage it across a 20 to 40 hour game. Especially since the mechanics were dumbed down as I alluded to earlier. In the end, ME2 barely matters on a story standpoint and mostly served to update the graphics, systems, and mechanics from the first. To that end, they did fine. ME2 looks fine, even by today’s standards. In a more combat-oriented game, ME2 functions as a successor.  This brings up to ME3. It opens up about a full year after the events of the second game, where Shepard is being punished for their actions in the Arrival DLC of ME2. Never got around to doing that DLC? Tough shit, as they reference it throughout the entire first act of the game and even later when you meet a Batarian on his deathbed. I played through it maybe once and I still don’t really understand what happened or why it was my fault, but there you go. Basically, in the second scene the reapers attack and fucking finally, the goverment lets Shephard get their best murder on and fly out to kick some actual ass. This is even lampshaded by Legion (a Geth teammate you acquire in late-game ME2) who told their own people that the reapers were coming and were believed immediately and began prepping. “Must be nice”, Shepard says. Indeed.  The entire game is spent gathering war assets for the finale of the series. The more you have, the better it goes on a story standpoint. If you scrape for every asset you are capable of, there will be less loss of life. More soldiers on the field, more field assistance, and generally a slightly less bleak atmosphere (which is still pretty goddamn bleak). The mechanics are a crisper version of ME2′s. You still only have 4-5 main abilities to use per class but the leveling system is a bit more nuanced and more in-depth than before, which edged towards ME1′s style without being too stupidly gratuitous like adding 4% to damage. They saved that for actual gun modifications. The cover system has remained through the entire franchise (As it will continue in Andromeda) and it mostly serves to give you shield recharge while reloading your gun and not much else. Mass Effect 3 is probably my favorite of the entire franchise. Some are beholden to the first game as classic nostalgia, and I don’t know many who talk about 2 very much. However mostly decry the third game for its flawed ending and I chalk that up to a PR misunderstanding, or just bad wording on Bioware’s part. See, the sting mostly comes from when they claimed that “Oh the ending won’t be a simple A, B, C matter...” That’s exactly what it became. In the end you had the choice between destroying ALL synthetic life, taking control of the reapers for yourself and effectively fusing your consciousness with them, or if you gathered enough assets, full on synthesis. This basically fuses organic life with synthetic code, making everyone a sort of hybrid and thus rendering the Reaper’s flawed logic completely moot, and they fuck off into the void of space all over again. However for those who actually watched the endings, with the help of the extended cut, there’s a lot of nuances that that simple choice does not immediately seem apparent. In the extended cut you can see the multitude of your choices play out. Did you cure the genophage? You witness the rebirth of Tuchanka and see it get rebuilt in grand buildings with Krogan mothers celebrating their children. What did you do about the Geth/Quarian conflict? You see the results of that as well. Yes, the ending decision did boil down to an ABC choice but the ramifications of a few choices that you made since the first game still absolutely had an effect. A mass effect, if you will (please kill me). Ultimately I feel like there’s a lot more to do in ME3. I’ve played it for a few hundred hours, changing something big every time I do it. I take on a different lover, I switch sides and sabotage the genophage (which I will never ever do again because holy shit). I hop between Paragon and Renegade because it’s fun to watch the world change before my eyes as I decide to murder people that I would not otherwise have done. I do run out of things to do however as the level cap is 60, and if you’ve imported a ME2 save you’re probably already level 25-30 so it takes a single playthrough to max out. After that point, doing NG+’s only change a bonus power and maybe you can fiddle around with different weapon types and adjust playstyles. Which I did often. While I wrap this up with a sort of game-by-game summary, I want to give an honorable mention to ME3′s DLC, The Citadel. It’s often considered the ‘true’ ending to the series and is my personal headcanon post-final battle regardless of lives lost. It takes place on the Citadel (obviously) while most of your crew is on shore leave while the Normany gets cleaned up as it presumably does every time you dock anywhere across the franchise. Shepard’s life is never simple as it turns out there’s a plot against their life and must scramble to figure out another mystery. It’s an incredibly funny DLC with a ton of humor and mostly acts as a tone-shifting breather for the general “We’re all fucked” aura the game mostly gives you. It even ends on a “We’re all in this together” high note with most of your crew (And some from ME2 come back!) overlook a beautiful view while in the titular Citadel. So. We’ve reached the conclusion with my overarching thoughts on the franchise as a whole. It’s good. It’s an experience, and I highly recommend playing through it because there’s a lot to talk about. I’ll give a basic rundown. Mass Effect 1: Fine game, but has not aged well on a visual standpoint. Story is perfectly solid and moderately self-contained without originally relying on a whole franchise to carry it. RPG elements are excessive and each individual upgrade doesn’t feel like it does much until the higher levels. Mass Effect 2: Basically sidesteps its predecessor. Weak story that takes the plot nowhere but with crisper, actionized mechanics and less inventory menus to worry about. Mass Effect 3: Is the culmination of everything they learned from the last two games. More nuanced RPG systems that seem like a middleground between 1 and 2. Story comes to a solid conclusion, and I don’t agree with all the constant whining about how the endings ruined the entire game for some people. Grow up. I’m sure the game has some kind of anthology pack you can buy on sale at this point and I’d recommend giving it a go. If you’re a newcomer to the franchise, be prepared to set aside anywhere from 50 to 200 hours between the three games. If not, Andromeda takes place between the events of 2 and 3 while taking place in a completely different galaxy and will very likely only slightly reference the previous games. There’s the occasional nod, like you meet a sibling of the Turian female in Omega. Other little nods like that but it won’t be necessary to go through all three to enjoy the full experience of Andromeda. Can’t wait!

[myfriendpokey]

puf puf

previously tried to write however incoherently about videogames and a certain "futuristic" quality - the idea that they stand less as things in themselves than as pointers toward a future, or rather THE future, a kind of generic archetypical notion of futurity which it is an implicit promise of videogames to try to delineate, and the argument that this futuristic quality is less something arising organically from their constituent factors than an emerging external sensibility that they were put together like dreamcatchers to snare. and that this "external sensibility" had something to do with the idea of the virtual, with essentially the notion of experience disconnected from material causation. types of experience both enthralled and threatened by their own vertiginous, ungrounded quality - or grounded at most by purely voluntary gamelike conventions (scenes from science fiction films come to mind where the protagonist finds their feet in an initially disorientating, hallucinogenic dream world at the moment that they finally internalise that world's arbitrary game-like systems of logic). the causes of this virtualist outlook would require more nuanced investigation than i could offer but i'd like to return again to a suggestive comment of jameson's tying it into an emerging awareness of a "finance capital" which seemed to grow more and more powerful the less defined it was by any particular territory. and i return to it specifically because a related notion of seems to me a useful one in this context: that of speculation. the focus on the 'youth' of the medium, and on its potential rather than any actual qualities; the early amenability of videogames to something like kickstarter, where payment is less for a particular good than a donation in the service of some future change; the furious entitlement of xhardxcorex videogame players around a format they could be said to have 'invested' some significant amount of money, time, space or identity into, out of who knows what hope; the weirdly split rhetoric of the early indie scene as it mixed the demand to make it new with an eminently cynical historical fatalism (of course we all know there'll be a citizen kane, a godfather, a whatever else, since we  saw it happen with movies and comics and pop music all within comparatively recent history: the only question is just how the cultural and material goods resulting will get divvyed up this time, and to whom); the heavily monetised and in some cases preemptive nostalgia of the format, as it persistently offers the prospect of being there, at the right time, or of having been there, at the right time (consider an analogous case in comic books when a boom in speculation came with a sudden burst of rebranded "issue one"s); the strange admixture in the format of relentless, in many ways astonishing, accumulation of technological potential with a strangely listless and ambivalent provisional application of it. this is a loose list and certainly many of these issues are not specific to videogames. but if we treat that format as both a vehicle of speculation (in the same way as all capitalist ventures) and as one with speculation at its formal core (as being in part a way to conceptualise and engage with emerging computer technologies) it might help us to consider just why it is that videogames frequently seem to enact an accelerated form of more general tendencies, up to and including the kind of aggreived consumer fascism of those terrified at the prospect of being cut off from the future profits on their investments. in acting as a kind of aestheticised cultural form of the speculative impulse - allowing people to purchase or create something that just might be a piece of the future, a key to the new world - in a form comparatively unencumbered by much history or much respect, we can see a purer example than most of that impulse's results.

i don't know whether this speculative aspect is still present, or that it will be for much longer. the internet has long effaced any claim videogames might once have held of a priviliged position re. the enroachment of the virtual into the everyday: that change already happened, and the networks of cause and consequence that games once claimed as their own now seem as clunky and antiquated as punch cards in comparison to the sinuousness of the web. it could be as well that part of their old role as a site for, less the implementation of than the hysterical imagination of technology, has also been superseded - for example by VR, which seems to have absorbed a lot of the old holodeck fantasies that videogames to their own embarrassment (if nobody elses's) were never able to maintain. i hope it's not presumptuous to say i get the impression of a gradually mounting weariness among my colleagues in the form, a gradual sense that yes, this might be all there is to it, and wonder if after all those years of harassment and unspeakable labour practices and general awfulness beyond imagination the final tipping point for it all is the idea that this is after all the plateau, the very summit of all that "the medium" is willing to do. bereft of that notion of imminent potential they suddenly seem quite paltry: the same old ideas, the same people, a withering away into "classicism" (surely the saddest point for any popular format, particularly if the golden age just means 20 years ago), the fate worse than death which is the return to game design and "interesting decisions", a fate probably no more than the medium deserves. i'm sympathetic to something like robert yang's idea of taking the lessons learned from indie games and applying them to VR, which has not become quite as ossified yet as a format. but i'm also truthfully a little skeptical of it, as many of the most awful qualities of videogames there seem if anything intensified: the exclusive technology, the heavy capital investments and speculation driving it from the start, a form already bought and sold. and it's horrifying to imagine a deathless tech speculation striding terminator-like from the flaming debris of videogames to colonise yet more imaginary space, and more horrible still to think about thoughtful and committed people getting to work on clearing the rubble from its way. a handful of nervous nerds get to star in "oculus: the movie" as the loveable, creative, human faces for a new industry as their colleagues and associates are ground into the dust. so i guess without wanting to dissuade anyone, or persuade, what's been on my mind lately is: what can you do with a dead format? or specifically, what can you do that being "alive" in ways suggested above (paradigmatic, future-oriented, ripe for speculation) has tended to prevent? to use a truly hackneyed analogy i think of something like "punk" music, or post-punk, which was arguably just a necrotized rock music: a rock music no longer able to be used for anything, to appeal to anyone, where all the old claims for it (youth! novelty! excitement!) had long since curdled but where the shambling husk of the format continued lurching doggedly along, a kind of nightmare parody and reversal of itself, something that died AS WELL AS got old.. but which was newly able to speak to a public, to imagine new forms of public, by dint of this very negativity. and i think of the numerous attempts at establishing something similar in videogames, and how they never seemed quite right, a bit too dutiful, too healthy, as if once again claim staking for the future: you be the lydia lunch of puzzle bobble and i'll be the slaughter and the dogs of chex quest. and all those other games, hating videogames, truly critical of videogames, nevertheless being timidly espoused as videogames: see the diversity of our medium! just the kind of fire that we need! if speculation was an artificial injection of life to a format which, on its own qualities and merits alone, would surely long ago have been buried, it was nevertheless not a neutral one, rather something that continuously distorted and redirected in favour of the capital which stood most to benefit from the notion, exacerbating the worst qualities in the process: what were all those expressions of gamer outrage but the hysterical entitlement of people who'd sunk hundreds of hours and dollars into a format that now looked like it was never going to achieve whatever mysterious transcendence they thought that they'd bought? and the constant anxious minnowing, the insistence on some shared focus and inner consistency, a terror of diffusion expressed both as anxious universalism (w-we gotta keep the band together!) and as cobbled-together "formalist" constructions aimed at gathering some spearhead of the elite (while you were making twine games, i studied the blade....). what would happen if they did diffuse, if they could peel away from that central core and disintegrate, scattered across the web, across life? fragments of outmoded futures, of the gristle of modernity, lurking in and moving through the bland "flow" of life online, existing in this new context as something like found art, a kind of devolution into commentary: contextual, discursive, evasive. and finally able to utilise in these new contexts those peculiar awkwardnesses of effect, too flat or too busy, those emotional alienations and sexless intensities which always haunted the form. in a weird irony, speculation could be said to end at exactly the point where it builds productive capability to as far as it can go - videogames are burning out at the same time as the conditions for something like a feasible and interesting culture of them have arguably never been better, as more people are on computers, more types of people, more habituated for their purposeful usage, with readier access to all kinds of tools, and mostly not giving a shit about the 50-year sewer that is the history of the medium, except to pick up and toy with whatever discarded remnants of it hold their interest for a while. again i don't mean this as any particular call to action, whatever that action might be... more the consideration that when / if videogames finally do "die" they could be in better and more interesting shape than they ever were when they were alive, and that it might also finally put them in position to enact a future that would truly be more appealling for everyone: one where videogames are no longer made out of love, but out of spite.